"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."-Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights
Chapter 15
"What?" Poe Dameron was just as surprised as I was by Rey's decision. She looked, frustrated, at him.
"What?" She asked, innocently. He gestured, open-mouthed, between the two of us.
"You can't just decide to go with him," he said fervently. "You have responsibilities back on base!" Rey shrugged.
"The war's over. I've done my part-I deserve a break." Poe shook his head in disbelief. "Besides, you have enough people on base who can do anything you would need me for."
"Yeah, except for use the Force," Poe retorted. Rey rolled her eyes.
"What would the Resistance need that for anyways, now? I'm not going to interrogate anyone or help rebuild cities, so it doesn't matter." She had a point, as always. I was too busy standing in shock, staring at her, thinking why in the galaxy would this woman kiss me, again, and decide to join me on Naboo. It made no sense. I was not supposed to be allowed this sort of...happiness. Maybe I had died and gone to a better, great beyond.
"Are you doing something to her?" Suddenly, Finn was looking at me, angrily, his jaw clenched. I looked at him quizzically.
"No...?" I answered. But, how I'd like to, I thought in the recess of my mind. Finn stomped toward me. I didn't even flinch; he had to look up at me.
"I swear, if you have her under some kind of mind trick or something, I will have you-"
"I haven't done anything to her," I cut him off, with venom. "I wouldn't do anything to hurt her, let alone influence her mind. Besides, that only works on the weak-minded." I tried to keep my voice steady. I was sick of people thinking I would even dare to use the Force against her. I had done it before, and it had been revolting-how could I do it now, when she had become my entire world?
"Well, knowing you, you can probably find a way around that," Finn refuted. I glared down at him.
"Finn has a point, Rey," Poe pointed out. "He's a criminal. He's being sent to exile. You shouldn't be around him, alone. It's not safe." I flicked my eyes to stare daggers at Poe.
"I would never even look at Rey if she didn't want-" I began.
"Poe, he won't hurt me," Rey was looking back at me, her features soft. It made my own resolve soften. "I know it. I wouldn't go if I didn't think that. I mean, if he wanted to hurt me, wouldn't he have done it while we were alone in the medbay? And, actually, it'd probably be safer for who ever will be watching him on Naboo if I'm around-I can interfere." Rey looked proud of herself for making this argument. Finn walked back to stand next to Poe, not taking his eyes off of me. Poe huffed in irritation.
"Rey-no. As General, I'm telling you no," Poe crossed his arms in front of his puffed out chest. Rey gaped at him.
"Well, General, as the savior of the galaxy, I am telling you that I'm going. If I recall, General Organa is still over you, and unless she requests me back to base, I will be going to Naboo with Ben." She put her hands on her hips, in finality. Poe tilted his head at her, in frustration. Rey didn't budge. I felt pride swell within me, to see her standing up for herself-and me-with such determination. I unclenched my fists.
"What about your things, Rey?" Finn asked, clearly resorting to the minor details to try to convince her not to go. Rey gave a dry laugh.
"What about them? I don't really own anything, it's all on lend from the base anyways," she shrugged. "I won't be the one in exile, and I've got at least some credits to my name, I'm sure I can find-"
"Anything you need will be taken care of," I interjected. "We'll be staying in my cousin's palace. Anything you need can be provided." Rey looked at me with an open mouth and a slightly raised eyebrow, as if she was already thinking about how many portions she could accumulate. I smiled internally at the thought.
"Well, then," Rey turned back to Poe and Finn with a smile. "Everything is taken care of!" She was grinning, as she had won the argument. The men were not as pleased.
"Fine, fine," Poe had given in, now. "If anything happens, though, just know: I told you so."
"Nothing is going to happen," Rey rolled her eyes and moved to nudge him in the arm. "It'll be fine. I've heard Naboo's nice-it'll be like a holiday."
"Huh, yeah," Finn snorted dryly. "If you're going on holiday with the criminal Prince of Alderaan." I smirked at that, though no one saw.
"Oh, come on, you two are just jealous. You can visit anytime you want, you know." Rey looked happy, at ease now.
"I don't think you'll be getting many visitors, willingly," Finn raised his eyebrows. Rey turned her head up in a bright laugh. I didn't even realize I was smiling at her until she looked at me.
"So," she said softly, walking up to me as Finn and Poe moved to sit at the Dejarik table. "A palace? Your cousin must be pretty generous about the whole 'exile' thing, then." She grinned up at me, her hands clasped behind her back.
"Yes, I think so," I admitted. I didn't know what else to say, other than to confess my undying love for her. However, I could not do that. Especially not in front of her friends who assumed I was controlling her like a puppet.
"Thank you, Rey," I mumbled, staring into her eyes, so clear and bright. "You don't have to do this-you don't owe me anything. I understand if you feel obligated, or..."
"Maker, Ben," Rey rolled her eyes emphatically and moved her hands up to touch my jaw with just her fingertips. I held my breath. "Did you not hear anything I just said? I want to go with you-not because I feel guilty, or obligated, or whatever else excuse you can make up," she laughed. "I want to, simply because I want to. I hope that's okay." I felt my eye twitch.
"It's more than okay," I admitted. "I know there's not enough words in any language in the galaxy to truly communicate it, but...I truly do thank you, Rey. For everything. For saving me, for defending me...for all of it. It'll never be enough, but I hope I can start to make it up to you." She smiled up at me, blushing ever so lightly.
"Well, thank you for saving me right back," she replied, sweetly. I smiled down at her, and I could have sworn she moved her lips up to mine just a hair, but then the ship jolted slightly as we were brought out of hyperspace. Rey fell slightly forward, into my arms, and she fumbled to steady herself. Holding her strong arms, her hair lightly grazing my chin, it was like simply grazing her was addictive. I was drawn to her, like a moth to a flame.
"We're here!" Chewie called, and I could see we were-Naboo was blue and green and paradisical down below us, through the windshield. Rey ran to the nearest window to look out.
"Oh, Maker," she gasped. "It looks stunning!" Not as stunning as you, I wanted to say.
Landing on Naboo was quite easy, as Chewie had been to my family's palace several times before, and knew where to land. Rey hugged each of her friends, even the droid, tightly and for a while before standing back to the closed boarding deck. She asked them each several times to contact her if anything was wrong, to update her, to visit...it was painfully clear to me just how afraid she was of losing these people. A child raised with nothing will hold on to anything.
Now that the decision had been made, Finn and Poe were much kinder about the situation, and sent Rey warm wishes and reassurances, while they simply nodded a curt 'bye' to me. Understandable.
When the boarding dock lowered, I led Rey down it, where we would arrive at the back of the palace. Rey looked behind her to wave her last 'goodbyes,' and I watched as a marble staircase came into view, along with lush, manicured greenery and a stone palace that looked lavish and calm, meant to mirror the peace of the planet it was on. The carvings of the stone walls, fit with open windows and vines, ornate balconies, was not imposing-it was welcoming, just like it had been when I was a child, visiting here with my parents for holidays and family gatherings, the occasional political event or two.
When the boarding dock closed, Rey turned to take in the view of the palace as well, and it was obvious she was stunned. I was already planning in my head the tour of the grounds I would take her on. Maybe even a trip to the lake...
I was interrupted by what I had been dreading. At the top of the staircase, I saw a young handmaiden, of about fifteen Standard years I supposed, and next to her, a tall, strong, blonde, annoying man. Our family had doted on him, calling him 'boyishly charming' and 'the perfect heir to the family name.' I knew him as a total nerfherder and idiotic companion as a child. My cousin, Ejan.
"Ben!" He called, his deep voice sounding weirdly like the voices in old Holodramas. He raised his arms in welcome, and moved down to Rey and I, trailed by the handmaiden. I stayed put, even as the Zafir took off behind us.
"Ben, cousin, how good it is to see you," when he reached me, he brought me into a comradely embrace. I smiled at him, my mouth in a tight line. He appraised me quickly, then turned to Rey. "My, who do we have here? Aunt did not mention you'd be bringing a guest," he bought Rey's hand delicately up to his lips. "Or one half as lovely. You must be Rey-I've heard so much about you, however, I was not told you were so beautiful. I see why the Resistance keeps you hidden away." He smiled, and winked at Rey. I felt ire rise within my chest, my eyes harden in their gaze, and I knew immediately that this was going to be much worse than I had anticipated. Rey blushed crimson at the compliments, and smiled in a soft laugh.
"Thank you, you're too kind," Rey greeted him politely.
"Rey, this is my cousin, Ejan," I stepped in, before they could continue their conversation. "Ejan, this is Rey, my..." I wasn't sure how to finish that sentence. "My friend. Thank you for letting me take my exile here, I know it's an imposition." I hated that I had just called Rey my 'friend,' but I wasn't sure what else to call her. I could feel a prick of disappointment from Rey's end of the bond-was it at my semantics, or at having interrupted her meeting Ejan?
"Not at all, cousin," Ejan clapped me on the shoulder. We were almost the same height. "It's been too long, I simply had to offer Leia for you to spend your sentence here. I hope that's alright with you?" He laughed at his own little joke. I smiled tautly.
"Of course, again, thank you. I didn't know you offered-I'm grateful." It was true-there were worse places to spend the rest of my life. Ejan would die, eventually, anyways.
"No matter," Ejan waved it off. "I'm just glad you're here. And with such charming company!" I wished he would stop talking about Rey that way. "I'm sure you two are tired from your little excursion, so I'll have the handmaiden escort you to your rooms, and we can properly celebrate your return to Naboo tomorrow, yes?" He looked at me expectantly. I nodded.
"Excellent! Nadaru, make sure they settle in comfortably-I'll be off to my own quarters," he ordered the young girl. She nodded, keeping her head down. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to check on my greenhouse before I retire. If you need anything, simply ask, and we'll do our best to accommodate." He smiled at me, then at Rey, eyeing her in a way I did not appreciate, and then he was off.
"Right this way, your excellencies," the girl bowed.
"Oh, um, I'm not an 'excellency,'" Rey began to follow the girl up the stairs.
"Any guest of Sir Ejan is considered honourable," the girl replied, sounding very automatic, like a droid. Rey looked at me. I shrugged. I was used to it, by now. Even though, technically, I was an 'excellency.'
We followed the girl into the castle, down marble and columned corridors, and Rey drank everything in as if it were the most beautiful place she had ever been. Knowing her background, it might have been.
We were eventually brought to a set of double doors, grand and inlaid with gold, surrounded by a hallway fit with glowing chandeliers and mirrors that reflected the luxury of the building. There were fresh cut flowers in ivory vases on top of shining tables, and the rich, red carpet on the ground muffled our footsteps.
"Here we are," the girl bowed to us, and then moved to open each set of the doors. They led to identical rooms. "Miss Rey, I will help you prepare for the evening-Master Ben, I can have someone fetched to help you, if you would like?" I shook my head.
"Very well," she bowed to me, and moved to shuffle Rey into the room. Rey looked over at me, almost with panic, but then was shut into the room. I walked into my own.
It was a very nice room, I had to admit. Ejan definitely wanted me put up somewhere nice, I guessed. There was a grand bed that could have probably fit four of me, and it was on a little round platform, against a far wall. There was a large, walk in wardrobe across from it; there was a desk fit with holopads and even even scrolls; there was enough space in the room for a small party. I walked into the bathroom, which was positioned on the same wall as the bed, and found it to be marble and silver from top to bottom, with a large shower and separate bath. I decided on the shower.
It had been a long day-from thinking Rey wanted nothing to do with me, to seeing her in the clutches of that fiend, to her kissing me, to then joining me here, in my place of exile...it was enough to give me whiplash.
As the hot water ran over my body, I couldn't help but contemplate just what I was supposed to do about Rey. Did she want my love? Did she even think about it? And how was I, in all of my inadequacy and inexperience, supposed to broach that subject with her? What if spending so much time around me actually made her resent me?
Too many thoughts were going through my head, and I knew I'd have to do the thing I had been avoiding for too long: I'd have to talk to her about my feelings. Not something I was exactly known for.
The room was gorgeous. The shower was spectacular, after the day I had just had. Although, it was quite foreign having another person help me get ready for bed. Rich people did such strange things.
After Nadaru had gotten me stripped and in the shower, she took my clothing, and promised she would be waiting for me when I got out. I could only mutter a 'thank you' in embarrassment, and scuttle into the warm sanctuary of the shower. This was the most opulent place I had ever seen in my life. I could hardly believe I was going to be able to stay with Ben, let alone in a place like this.
Once I was out, covered in a plush towel, Nadaru was waiting for me in the bedroom, the main area of the my new space. Without a word, she helped into another one of those dresses that people sleep in, that I still didn't quite understand, and then sat me at a vanity table-which I had never seen in real life, until now-to comb through my hair. Once she was done, she placed a glass of water on the table.
"Oh, thank you," I told her, grateful. I was parched, and after years of staving off dehydration, I would never pass up the opportunity for water.
"Of course, ma'am," the girl said. "I understand you do not have your belongings with you, that this was a sudden change in your plans. Do you require medication?" The question was off-putting. I put the glass down. Medication? For what? Was she a nurse?
"Um, I'm sorry?" I asked, dumbly.
"Do you have an implant? Or do you require me to fetch you an alternative? I wasn't sure, since you aren't sharing a room." I was only further confused. An implant? Why would I need medication if I was sharing a room with anyone?
"Uh," I said, trying to figure out what to say. It was probably another thing wealthy people did, that I'd never understand. I decided to wave it off, like I totally knew what she was talking about. "I'm okay, but thank you. I think I'll just go to bed, now." I smiled, trying to look sure of myself.
"Of course, ma'am. If you need me, you may reach me by the comm on the bedside table. Have a good night, Miss Rey." The girl bowed, and then moved elegantly over to the pair of doors, and left quietly.
I sat in the chair at the vanity for a moment, silently panicking. Was there medication I needed to be taking? Was there something viral on Naboo I needed to be protected from, that maybe people got an implant for? I knew for certain I didn't have any implant, so did I need to be taking this medication? I fidgeted in my seat, until I decided to go ask Ben. He wouldn't embarrass me for not knowing-he was kind about my upbringing.
I stood with purpose, and strode outside of my room, and knocked at his door. No reply. I knocked once more, this time more rapidly. Still, no response. I shrugged, and opened the doors.
His room was identical to mine, but Ben was no where to be seen. I heard the splatter of water coming from the bathroom, and realized he must be in the shower. That was fine-I'd wait. Not like I hadn't seen him get out of the shower before, anyway, I remembered, blushing crimson.
I sat on the corner of the soft, white down covers of the bed, relishing at touching them for the first time. It wasn't even a minute or two before the door opened, steam following, as Ben emerged, a towel wrapped around his waist. I made a point to keep eye contact, to not let my eyes stray.
"Rey," Ben said in surprise, obviously not expecting me to be here. "What are you doing in here?" He clutched the towel to him tighter.
"I had a question," I admitted, letting my eyes flicker down to the toned planes of his chest for just a parsec before flicking back up to his eyes. Ben raised an eyebrow.
"About what?"
"Medication," I told him. "Nadaru asked if I needed medication, or if I had an implant. Something about not sharing rooms...? Is there something viral on Naboo, that I need to be vaccinated for? Is it transferrable? I don't want to get you sick, or vice versa." I hoped Ben would help me sort this out, without making me seem like a total barbarian for not knowing what the hell Nadaru had been talking about.
But, oddly, I watched Ben's features change in a procession. At first, he looked confused, then I could practically see the wheels of his mind turning. Then, it was like he had had an epiphany. And, as it turned out, not a good one. His face turned red, and his brow came down in a frown. Did he find me stupid, too? Had I gotten it all wrong? I began to shrink into myself.
"Sorry, I didn't know," I began, preparing to run back into my room, moving to stand up.
"No," Ben practically barked out. I sank back into the bed. I looked up at him, my lips pursed in confusion. "You don't need anything, don't worry." He wasn't looking at me, then moved to the wardrobe to find sleepwear. How come he got to wear trousers to bed, and I didn't?
"Oh, okay," I got up, ready to leave and wish him a goodnight. "Why did she ask about that?" I was sincerely curious. Did midi-chlorians make me immune or something? I wondered with humor. Ben moved somewhat forcefully back into the bathroom, and closed the door, only to re-emerge a second later, wearing trousers now. I continued to look at him in question, as he seemed to pointedly ignore me.
"Ben?" I asked, now wondering if he had heard me at all.
"I heard you," he answered my question. I didn't feel the need to put up my mental defences, so I left them be. "It's...she was just looking out for you." I furrowed my brow.
"Why? What for?" Ben sighed, fumbling with the sheets of his bed. "You can tell me, you know, it won't scare me." Maybe he was worried I would be frightened by some virus or something-I had no problem with getting protection from such things.
"No, it's not that," Ben answered my thoughts. I heard him take a deep breath. "It's...for contraception. She was ensuring if you were...taking precautions or not." It took a minute, but then the thoughts clicked in my mind. Implant...sharing a room...I got it now. I blushed even deeper than I had earlier.
"Oh," was all I could think to say. "Um. Well," I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole. Nadaru thought I may need something to protect myself, but from something much more...enticing.
Ben chuckled. I slammed my mental walls up.
If only lightning could strike me now.
"Um, sorry, I'm just going to, uh," I started pointing behind me with my thumb and fumbling backward, for the door, and Ben finally looked up at me. He didn't seem so flustered now, seeing me struggle. I wanted to glare, but all I did was reach for the door.
"Goodnight!" I called to him as I left his room. I marched back into my own, and promptly dove under the inexplicably soft covers of my bed. I can't believe that I had just...that Nadaru suggested...that Ben and I...
The thought was interesting, though.
But totally not going to happen!
Ben could hardly want that, and I, well, what the kriff did I know about...that? Or love, or romance, or any of the sort.
Except, that I did know I loved Ben. I didn't want to think about if he loved me back or not.
As I drifted off to sleep, I felt Ben's voice gently prod my mind.
Don't be afraid, he murmured in my sleep. I feel it too.
Out of all the things the handmaiden would be concerned about Rey not having, she had to ask her about that?
If Rey had, for her own reasons, required such a thing, that was fine by me, of course. It only caused me to stumble around like an ignorant fool when she asked me, with such sincere innocence. I had to thank the Maker that we weren't sharing a room. How was I supposed to have a conversation with Rey, about that, and not somehow think about it an almost bothersome amount in her presence.
It bothered me so much, that I couldn't help but hone in on her Force signature, just a wall between us, practically shaking with nerves and embarrassment. It was only natural, I wanted to tell her. So I spoke to her through the bond, recalling the words I had spoken to her the first time we had sensed that there was something...more, between us.
Sleep came and went, not as restless as usual but also not as peaceful as it was when I was closer to Rey. I didn't want to disturb her, so I decided to spend my morning in the training room I knew existed a couple of storeys above my bedroom. It was one my grandfather had used, staying here to protect my grandmother. I could not feel his energy lingering in the room-but I could feel the joint effort and spirit of their love throughout the palace. It hung low, and soft, as harmonious with the Force around it as a lullaby. As a child, I found it of no importance, or even gross, as most young boys find the idea of romance. Now, however, I found it comforting, to know I was where my family had truly begun, in a place full of so much warmth and light. It was the perfect place to share with Rey.
After exerting myself plenty in the training room, and showering off the sweat, I decided to find Ejan. It was early, just shortly after daybreak. I assumed he would be in the grand dining hall, and readied myself to greet him.
As I walked through the halls, and neared the dining hall, I heard voices float to me. Low, at first, but then Rey's laughter pierced the atmosphere, echoing delightfully around me. I did not miss that it irked me that somehow, he was making her laugh.
"Ah, there you are!" Ejan was facing me, at the end of a long, dark wood table, where there were silver platters of fine foods placed before him. Rey sat with her back to me, wearing a silken white robe and her hair up. She turned her head to eye me gleefully.
"Good morning," I greeted them both. I moved to take a seat next to Rey. She had food literally piled on her plate, and I was grateful.
"Morning to you," Rey smiled at me, beaming in the rays of sunlight that were cascading, golden, through the large windows across from her. "Did you sleep well?" I slept better when I was with you, I wanted to say.
"It was alright," I mumbled in reply. I began to gather a couple of things off the trays to eat. I was also glad to see there was steaming hot kaf on the table, as well, and poured a large cup. "Did you?" Rey spooned something creamy into her mouth, and I looked quickly into my cup of kaf.
"Yep, the room is sublime," she told me. "Ejan was telling me all about the troubles you two would get into as children." She looked at me with a mischievous grin.
"Only the ones that ended in disaster, of course," Ejan sipped from his own cup, smiling at Rey.
"Oh?" I tried to sound nonchalant, as if the thought of Rey hearing anything more about my past than she needed to did not absolutely petrify me.
"Yeah, like that time we tried to take the nursery droid swimming," Ejan laughed out. I remembered that-the droid was very annoying, I had to admit, even now. Rey let out a giggle.
"Yes, my mother was not too happy about that," I admitted.
"Not too happy? She nearly exiled you back then, right there." Ejan scoffed out, and I knew it was in jest, but still-discussing my childhood was uncomfortable. I waited an appropriate pause before turning to Rey.
"What would you like to do today?"
"Um," she started, thinking the question over. "I don't really know what there is to do, here. I figured you wouldn't be allowed to do much of anything, really." Rey admitted sheepishly.
"Nonsense," Ejan waved the thought away. "Ben is family, he can do what he pleases while he's here. He just has to promise not to do anything criminal and to spend his nights here." I looked back at Rey.
"Um, I saw there was a beach? Would it be possible to go there?" she asked, almost as if she was putting me out by making such a request. I smiled at her softly.
"Of course we can," I told her. And that was that. Breakfast went smoothly, and Ejan went off to do whatever it is the ruler of Naboo does during the day. Rey and I walked quietly back to our rooms, and she called upon her handmaiden.
"I don't know what to wear, to a beach," Rey admitted shyly. So ashamed of not knowing what to do all of the time. I'd have to get her out of that habit.
After her handmaiden followed her into the room, I moved casually to change into shorts for the beach. I grabbed a black cape to take with me, as I knew just how uncomfortable Rey got when I was shirtless. I smiled wryly at the thought.
Rey came out of her room, also wearing a cape of a beige color, very similar to the colors of her typical wardrobe.
"Ready?" She asked, after thanking her helper.
"Ready." I replied. As we walked through the opulent halls of the palace, Rey could not stop from staring all around her. It was charming, to see her so enamoured with the place.
"So, what do people do, at the beach?" She asked, having to move a bit quicker beside me to keep up with my strides. I had totally forgotten-she had probably never been to a beach before. Actually, scratch the probably-she had never been to a beach before.
"They swim, they lay on the sand, they relax," I sounded like a travel guide. "I haven't been to one in a very long time. Can you swim?" I was expecting her answer to be no, and was not surprised when she admitted so.
"Would you like me to teach you?"
The beach was pebbles, mostly, but the closer you got to the deeper waters, it looked like sand.
"So," I put my hands on my hips and squinted to look around me. "This is a beach."
"Yes," Ben said, laying down some towels he had picked up from a servant just by the doorway to a grand gazebo that was attached to the palace, that connected to a small staircase that led us to the shore. "This is a beach." I enjoyed the sound of the water-I had seen vast water on Ahch-To, but never an actual beach; those had just been cliffsides. It was calming, here, with Ben nearby, the sun shining down on us in a not at all unpleasant way, like it did back on Jakku. I shed my cape and readied myself to get into the water.
"Are you ready?" I turned to look at Ben, who was staring at me, frozen. Only for a parsec, though, because then he nodded curtly, and took off his own robe, allowing me a very nice view of his marbled chest and reminded me just how big he was. I shook my head slightly to myself, and focused on the task at hand. I was going to swim.
I gingerly walked over to where the water was moving against the pebbles, blue and white and clear. I let the water run over my feet, feeling that the temperature was quite nice. I looked behind me to make sure Ben was right beside me, and he was. I smiled up at him.
I walked further into the water, until it reached just above my knees. It was like Ben was barely even in the water, in comparison.
"So, when do I start?" I asked, getting serious. Ben chuckled at me.
"Well, you have to get further into the water." I frowned at that. I knew, realistically, I wouldn't drown-the water was calm, no real waves, and I wasn't alone. The fear still managed to keep me frozen in place, though.
"Rey?" Ben asked, coming nearer. "Is something wrong? If you don't want to, we can try another time-we can do this at whatever pace you're comfortable with." My heart could have melted at how sweet he was with me, but I was too busy focusing on not being a coward.
"No, I want to try." Ben looked at me with caution. I could feel his unspoken question. "I'm sure."
"Okay," Ben moved even closer. "May I?" He gestured with his arms open to me. I wasn't sure what he meant, but I trusted him. I nodded.
He moved slowly, as if allowing me plenty of time to change my mind, which I wasn't going to. Having him so near was electric, it was like a craving I wasn't even aware I had until he touched me. He stood behind me, and then picked me up, like he had when he had brought me onto his ship on Takodana for questioning. The water lapped around me, and I brought my arms around his neck for balance.
He took us further, until the water was around his upper arms, and up to my chin, the way he was holding me. He gently began to unfold my position, allowing me to straighten out. I felt that I could not touch the bottom of the sea floor with my feet, and instinctively wound my arms around Ben's neck, pulling myself up him. I heard him take in a quick breath.
"Sorry," I said shortly. "I just have no idea what I'm doing," I tried to laugh it off. Ben looked down at me, patiently.
"Don't worry, that's what I'm here for." He then, slow as ever, grabbed my waist, and I held my breath, my eyes locked onto his. He turned me around, gently, and I let go of his neck, bringing one hand to rest on his left shoulder, the other to paddle helplessly in the water.
"Okay, now kick your legs, like you're trying to gain momentum," he ordered softly. I did as he said, a bit awkwardly, kicking out my legs like I was fending off an attacker. Ben laughed at me-not in mockery, I was glad to notice.
"Not like that, more like you're using the water to push up," he held me firmly, and every point of contact felt like my nerves were on fire, even though the water was pleasantly cool in the sunshine. After a few tries, and Ben trying to show me himself, I got the hang of it. I wasn't brave enough yet to get myself back to shore, so I let him carry me until I could touch the sand with my own feet.
Once we were back up on the beach, sitting on our towels, my face up to the sky, I could feel him looking at me.
"What?" I asked, curious. He was simply smiling at me.
"Nothing," he told me. "You did well, by the way. You'll become a pro in no time." I laughed in disbelief.
"Yeah, the desert dweller is going to be excellent at swimming," I joked. "You're a good teacher." I let the words spill out like honey, but at this point I was so tired of holding in my affection for him, sometimes it simply had to come out. He cocked his head to the side a bit.
"Only because I've got a great student." He turned to wink at me, and it felt as though my lungs collapsed inward on themselves. Externally, I could only blush and smile like an idiot.
"This place is so beautiful," I thought aloud, looking out across the crystal waters to the green hills beyond. "The most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
"I've seen better," Ben mumbled, low to a point where I almost didn't hear him. "For example. I get to look at you everyday." I whipped my head around to look at him, and laughed at his cheesy comment.
"is that your attempt at a compliment, Ben Solo?" I asked, squinting at him in the sunlight, a grin plastered on my face. Suddenly, he moved forward, leaning on his arms, to cover my face with his. He looked at me for a moment, as if trying to make a decision, but I couldn't focus because all I could see were his eyes and just how captivating they were. I was truly a fool in love.
"No," he told me, and then he did another thing today that caught the breath right out of my mouth. He landed the most gentle of kisses, only for a parsec, on my lips, slightly open after having been smiling at him. I didn't even have time to close my eyes, to register it. "But this is." He then flashed me a debonair smile, a true Solo trait, and moved back to lie on his towel, eyes closed. I opened my mouth to laugh or smile or speak, I wasn't sure, because nothing came out. I was maroon in the face, I could feel it.
"You really are a Solo, aren't you?" I teased, hoping the comment would not upset him. I moved to lie back on my towel as well, and closed my eyes to block out the light.
"I really am, sweetheart."
