Chapter 12: A Good Laugh
"Are you ok?"
"Huh?" I blinked myself out of my daze. Police sirens were getting closer, but why? Oh yeah.
"You really shouldn't run, I hear getting hit by these five-inch bean bag rounds hurts A lot…" The minor villain behind me stiffened before skulking back to the lamppost. "I have a radar, if your pinky twitches I'll know."
"You never answered my question." My friend asked. I sighed before looking at Best Jeanist.
"Well… I lost most of my friends and the ships I called family, I ended a war centuries in the making, abdicated my position as their leader, and when I finally got back on my feet… The Abyssal Atlantic Fleet began a string of operations." I held up a finger for each thing before adding my thumb. "And then to top it all off I've been sidelined! They have access to an actual Abyssal willing to help but according to the JMSDF and the HPSC I'd be a 'conflict of interest.'"
Crack!
I heard a scream of pain and a thump as the villain's body landed on the sidewalk. Smoke wafted off of the barrel of my shore battery. "What did I just say about my radar?!" I called out before dragging the man back over to Jeanist.
"You seem rather frayed at the edges. When was the last time you took some time off?" The police sirens reached a fever pitch as two cruisers turned the corner. I approached an officer as he got out of the car, ignoring my friend for now. I just wasn't in the mood for a lecture mixed with fabric puns…
"Hello Mariana, do you have–" I cut him off by shoving a piece of paper into his hands.
"It's a full After Action Report with my statement. Anything you need will be ok here. Please don't hesitate to radio me if you need something else." And with that I started walking back towards Jeanist, who was giving me a dry look. "What?"
"You can't just give a report without talking to the police…"
I blinked. "It's the same thing. I literally just gave him a full rundown of what happened and my statement along with it."
"That's…" Jeanist pinched the bridge of his nose, "not the point… Keeping good relations and being sociable with the police will help you by leaps and bounds. The more strands, the stronger the rope."
"I already have good relations with the police, I'm always monitoring their communications and they have a direct link to me whenever they need it." I tapped the side of my head. "I tuned everything to my radio on day one."
I wasn't even aware that Jeanist could give me a drier look than the one he already was. "You've been listening to radio frequencies nonstop for almost a year?"
"Yes?"
"And you're confused as to why you're stressed?"
I tilted my head, "when did I say I was confused? Also I've been listening to radio frequencies nonstop for centuries. Why would it get to me now of all times?" My friend only narrowed his eyes in response. I sighed again—I was doing that more and more recently… Hadn't I already had this thought before as well?—before speaking. "I'm just worried, Hakamada… As much as you probably don't want to hear this; Japan's gotten complacent. The HPSC and the Heroes think they can handle this on their own and it's gonna bite them in the ass… They're cooperating with the military, but…"
"We'll stop them. Between the Heroes and the Navy, we will form a mighty net that these monsters will fall into."
I let out an amused huff. "I wish that made me feel better… But it's whatever, if they need me they'll call. But as 'popular' as I am with the public I don't think that many heroes are ready to actually accept me as one of them… There's a storm coming, and I honestly hope that they'll be ready for it… If not…"
Crunch!
"You guys all right?"
Huddled together in front of me were two kids. The older one; a redhead with glasses, held the younger protectively; a dark brunette with red eyes. Both of them were in shock.
It wasn't even ten minutes before I was done for the day, but my luck was never known for being great. It wasn't even anything major, just a series of unfortunate events. A delivery van tried running a red light and almost hit the kids who skipped out as soon as the pedestrian light went green. No villains, no disasters, just poor decision making. Unfortunately for the driver, a 3,000 pound delivery van and an island wasn't a great match up. I let go of the front of the van, willing my gauntlet away before crouching in front of the scared kids.
"It's alright, I'm a hero," the kids visibly relaxed at that. I reached into my pockets and pulled out two ice cream cones, "want some ice cream? It helps with everything!" That was enough to break the spell over them and both faces suddenly lit up into wide grins. As I handed them the ice cream I walked them back to the sidewalk.
I smiled at the older one. "Is he your brother?" I got a small nod in return. "Wow, then you were shielding him then? That's really brave of you! You're a great older brother."
"Shin! Rei!" A voice shouted out. I looked up to see a woman running towards us. She had tears in her eyes as she scooped the two brothers up in a hug. "I was so worried! What were you thinking?!"
I smiled, "Are you their mother?"
She gave a shaky smile back, "Y-yes, yes I am. Thank you so much, I don't know what I would've done if I lost them!" The thought caused her to break down in tears. My smile softened as I let them have their moment.
"You two," the two brothers' eyes met mine. "Keep an eye on traffic and look both ways before crossing, you wouldn't want your mother worrying about you, would you?" I gave a small wave before walking back towards the ruined van. The driver held his head as he stumbled out. "Everything all right on your end? Any injuries?"
The man blinked a few times before responding. "No, no I think I'm alright. I'm so sorry, I closed my eyes for a second and!—"
"It's all right. Accidents happen, we were all lucky that I was around for this one. Can you come closer and look me in the eyes for a second?" After a moment of confusion the man did so, and I gently pried one of his eyelids open. My own eyes glowed an unnatural blue as I activated my searchlights, staring him down.
The man started trembling, "w-what are you..?"
I blinked and the glow went away. I gave him an apologetic smile. "Sorry if that was creepy, but I needed to check with my searchlights. Your pupils are dilated and I might be wrong but you look pretty dizzy. It's possible that you have a concussion, there's a clinic not far from here or I can radio an ambulance if you want?"
The man blinked before shaking his head, "I-I'm fine enough to walk, I think. You said it's not far from here?"
I nodded, "About a block away, here, uh…" I looked around at the crowd that had gathered, picking a person at random. "Can you show this man to the clinic on Rahm-Kota street?" The bystander gave an enthusiastic nod and I gently sent the man on his way. "If you need any financial support, contact Best Jeanist's agency and ask for Mariana." Kids; safe. Man; getting treatment. I walked back over to the van that was still blocking traffic. "Sorry for the holdup, I'll clear this up in a second! If you're on the sidewalk please stay clear!" Pushing more power through my generators I began pushing the van out of the way and somewhat onto the sidewalk. Slowly, traffic began to flow again and I even left enough room for pedestrians to get by. I made a quick call for a tow truck before moving back to the sidewalk. "Sorry everyone, you're all good to go about your day!"
As the crowd started cheering an embarrassed smile found its way to my mouth. Close to a year in and I still wasn't quite used to all the praise. I almost preferred it when I was still new and people weren't quite sure what to make of me yet. Checking my internal clock I saw that my patrol was over. I decided to wait for the tow truck, even if it wasn't really necessary. As I stood around I checked in with my fighter patrols, monitoring almost a quarter of the city through their eyes alone. Nothing noteworthy happened, but every once in a while somebody would wave and I'd have my fighters tilt their wings from side-to-side to "wave back." The kids always got a kick off of that one, apparently so much that jet black F6F Hellcat plushies were in the works. I wondered how long those would sell for, seeing as they were getting replaced soon…
"Uh-um… Excuse me?"
"Hm?" I looked down to see a little girl, maybe around ten or so looking back up at me. She had a pink shirt and jeans, covered by a gray sweater. Amazingly enough I saw the logo for Iron Maiden on it. Dark eyes framed by chin-length purple hair stared at me nervously. I smiled and crouched down to be more at her level. "Hello there, do you need something?"
"Mn… You're Mariana, right?" I nodded and her eyes lit up in wonder. "W-wow! You're my favorite hero! You totally rock! I-I was wondering if… if maybe…" She grabbed two earphone jack like devices, connected to her earlobes—her quirk then— and tapped the tips of them together. It was a nervous tick. "I was wondering if I could have an autograph?" She finally blurted out.
I chuckled and patted her head. "I'd love to, but believe it or not with everything I have stored I don't really have a pen. Gimme a minute and I'll print something off." As I set my crew to do their task I chatted with her. "You like Iron Maiden?"
She gasped, "you know who they are?!"
It made me laugh, genuinely. "Of course I do, I'm an old fart. They were big when I was around." The little girl looked at me in awe. Her idol knew one of her favorite bands! "What's your name, by the way?"
"Oh! Um, Kyoka Jiro!"
"What do you wanna be when you grow up? A rock star?"
"No, actually I wanna be a hero like you! I wanna help people, make them happy!" My smile softened as I finished printing my message. I pulled it out of my sleeve and handed it to her.
"PRIORITY MESSAGE
STATION: Wake Island
ORGANIZATION: Genius Office
EXECUTIVE: Wake Island; Mariana, The Abyssal Hero
"Thank You for being my No. 1 fan. Keep your dreams alive so that one day you can be a hero. I'm counting on you, Kyoka Jiro. Keep rocking until you reach the top!
This document certifies that the accompanying pair of headphones are an original and authentic set worn and used by The Abyssal Hero, Mariana, and has been distributed willingly and knowingly."
Jiro started slowing down as she reached the end of the document, looking up at me in disbelief. Her eyes moved to the pair of headphones dangling off of my finger instead of my neck. She blinked a few times before it really set in.
"You're serious?! You're giving me your headphones?!" She squealed, almost jumping up and down.
"Of course, it's not everyday that a hero gets to meet their number one fan. Besides, I can make another pair easily. Use these as a reminder, a reminder of what you want to be." Jiro took the headphones and hugged them to her chest. Any other pair and I'd be somewhat worried that she'd break them with how hard she was clutching them, but these were mine. They were a bit higher quality than what most headphones were.
"Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you!"
"No problem, just remember that I'm counting on you, yeah? No rush though, take your time!"
After we said our goodbyes I waved as she skipped off to a pair of adults, excitedly showing them the sheet of paper and the headphones. I smiled fondly, my mind briefly substituting them with another… more familiar family.
Hoppou was excitedly showing off a starfish she found on the beach. The Harbor Princess; Anchorage, smiled and nodded along, just happy that Hoppou was happy. After a minute of chatting Anchorage took Hoppou's hand and they walked along the beach. They were interrupted though, when The Airfield Princess; Henderson Field, skipped over to them. Hoppou showed her the starfish and Henderson spent a solid minute gushing over it. Anchorage watched both of them with a soft smile, hands folded in front of her. The three of them noticed me watching and all waved, excited to subdued in order of youngest to oldest. Smiling, I raised my hand…
And held it as the family of three walked away, daughter skipping with her new headphones. By now, even though I was a hero, the novelty wore off. People still pointed me out but nothing was happening that specifically drew attention to me. Nobody noticed the single solitary tear roll down my cheek. I didn't move, but I chased the fading memory with all I had. In my head I was sprinting after the trio of Abyssals, hand outstretched as they turned and walked away.
Hoppou, The Northern Princess, was the daughter of the pacific Fleet. Everybody spoiled her rotten, and no matter the rank she treated everybody like they were her big sisters. She was excitable, but everybody loved her for it. Hoppou died during a surprise raid on her island of Micronesia. She was asleep when the bombs hit…
Henderson Field, The Airfield Princess, was like a big sister. She encouraged everybody to do their best, and was always looking out for everyone. She was confident, and that spread to the entire fleet. Henderson died in combat, falling to Yamato herself. She fought essentially alone as she gave time for the rest of her fleet to retreat…
Anchorage, The harbor Princess. The mother of basically everybody. If an Abyssal was sad or down she went out of her way to make them feel better. She was gentle and kind. Anchorage died in the surprise attack that destroyed The Deep. She was the last one of that family to go. She was inconsolable when Hoppou died. When Henderson died she lost the will to live…
I miss my friends…
Vaguely I noticed the fact that I was going over details with the tow truck driver and when I blinked he was driving away. This had all taken longer than I thought it would, but things like this happen from time to time. Huffing, I turned and began walking towards my apartment, hands in my pockets. The sounds of the city washed over me and I gave out small greetings and waves when people spotted me.
I miss my sisters…
"Hey!" I heard a voice call out from behind me. I slowed to a stop, and glancing at my radar I noticed that a single contact wasn't moving. "Yeah you, dark and moody!" I blinked, having confirmation that the voice was walking about me. Slowly I about-faced. Green hair, orange bandana.
"You look like you could use a good laugh~"
How exactly did I get myself into this situation…
"W-We had to organize what was left behind when we took Wake back. All of the humvees went into a warehouse, right?" I paused to take a breath, losing most of it from laughing, "Z101 had to park it and when she got out one of the supply ships said, "that thing can't be here, it doesn't have an engine." Ha! The face 101 gave her was priceless, she was all like "if it doesn't have an engine how the hell did I get it here then!"" Both I and Emi Fukukado, better known to Japan as Ms. Joke, laughed so hard we started crying. I grabbed my beer after a failed attempt and took a swig, not even wincing at the light burn I felt in my throat. Alcohol this cheap wouldn't ever affect me, but I had a trick up my sleeve. Add a bit of 180-proof ethyl alcohol and some AVGAS and I had homemade 'torpedo juice.' This stuff was probably the only substance known to man that could get an Abyssal or Shipgirl drunk, a fact that I was doing my best to prove with my most recent… Friend? Acquaintance? A few more beers and I'd figure that out.
"Oh man, with all the stories you have stored up you could make a killing as a comedian, ever think about it?"
I barked a laugh, "me? A comedian? Nice joke, Joke." As I took another long drink I sent a mental order to switch out bridge crews. That made… Five? Was this the sixth rotation? I didn't know anymore.
"Well it's not like you aren't already making a killing as a Hero. How's that going for you by the way? I've seen the stuff everybody else sees but that's no way to know for sure, ya know?" That was true. Doing your own reconnaissance was important, having information everyone else had was good, but getting your own would fill the gaps… Why was I thinking tactically?
"It's going as well as it could be. Outside of some… minor grievances, I'm not having any problems!"
"Grievances?"
I sighed and slumped against the table we were sitting at, "I'm a part of a big operation right now, real hush-hush. But since I'm an Abyssal the Higher Ups don't trust me… I get it, I really do! But haven't I proven that I'm not faking this?"
"Yeah, that tends to happen. Might not even be because you're an Abyssal. You have high ratings but you're still new. Not even a year in, so they may not think you have the experience." Joke waved my concerns off, which irked me… though she had a point.
I laughed from the table, "Don't have the experience? I'm centuries old…"
"As a hero, smartass," the Joke hero laughed. She patted my head, "there there, don't you worry, your seniors will get you all caught up in no time!" I batted her hand away with a grumble. "Seriously though, you're doing really well. You broke the Top 100 last month!"
"Did I?" I mumbled, voice muffled from the table. "I don't pay attention to that stuff, being a hero shouldn't be about who ranks the highest."
"See?! That right there! That's why you're rising so fast!"
"Explain it to me. The old war vet doesn't get the current generation." I mumbled.
"Ragh, get your head off of the table," she laughed, grabbing my hair and pulling. I went along with it, even if in reality she probably wouldn't even move me an inch. "You actually care, that's why so many people like you. You don't do it for money, you don't do it for fame, you do it because…" I watched the steam leave her sails, cheeks flushed and eyes drooping ever so slightly. She was drunk. I was too, but when Abyssals got drunk we managed to keep our mental faculties. "Why do you do it?"
I blinked before resting my head on my arms. "…To atone," I said quietly. "I want to show that Abyssals aren't the monsters people think we are. We are monsters mind you, but we aren't soulless ones." I gave Emi a crooked smile from my place on the table, "you heard my stories."
Emi blinked before smiling somewhat sadly, "man you really are gloomy. Not even I can keep a smile on your face for too long." My smile turned into an unamused frown.
"I'm pouring my heart out over here, would it kill you to be nice to me?" Emi laughed again. She did that a lot, but for some reason I didn't mind it.
The Smile Hero rested her chin on her hand, "you know, I think this'll be the start of a beautiful friendship, Wake~"
I groaned and planted my head on the table again, "Please just call me Mariana, I used it even during the war for a reason."
"Yeah, it's pretty bad, isn't it." Ms. Joke laughed as I harmlessly tried to swat her head.
Drinking with Emi turned into a weekly thing. We didn't drink every time, but it wasn't an uncommon occurrence. The Smile Hero was very quickly turning into a fast friend and we spent those days talking, laughing, or even gossiping. That I never thought I'd do, but Emi introduced me to something I really hadn't ever dabbled in before.
The internet.
Whether it was some juicy scandal or some big fight, or even just talking about heroes, we gossiped. It was odd, but not unpleasant. Girl Talk wasn't something I was used to, which to most may be an odd thought considering that Abyssals were solely female, but we never… did anything like that… It was like I was exploring some part of me that had been locked away, and it was nice to explore it. Even when the topics got a little uncomfortable.
"Can Shipgirls have babies?" I choked on my drink, almost shooting it out through my nose. The sudden shock ignited the ethyl and AVGAS, and just for a moment I breathed fire before I got my DAMCON teams on it. I thumped my chest a couple of times, and the entire time Ms. Joke was roaring with laughter.
"Emi," I coughed out," what the hell?!"
"Did you just breathe fire?" She wheezed. "What the hell are you drinking?!"
"Bourbon mixed with 180 proof ethyl alcohol and 100 Low Lead gasoline. Probably the only thing that can get me drunk."
"Can I try it?" Emi asked, wiping tears out of her eyes.
"Please tell me you're not that dumb… Did I not just say I'm drinking gasoline?" I deadpanned.
"You're doing it," she pointed out.
"I'm a walking military installation, my organs are machinery."
"How does that work?"
"No, what the hell did you ask that caused me to roleplay a dragon?"
"Oh yeah," she snapped her fingers. "Can Shipgirls have babies?"
"Not to my knowledge, no." I shook my head, narrowing my eyes.
"How do you know, have you ever tried?" Emi said casually, resting her cheek on her hand.
I went crimson, processing what she had just casually asked. "Of course not!" I whisper-yelled. "And for your information there are at least two documented cases of intimate human/shipgirl relations. Neither bore fruit. One was a couple in the Marshals, the other was the Japanese Battleship Kongou and one of the previous admirals."
"Hm, why do you think they couldn't?"
"Why are we having this conversation?!"
"Because I'm curious, girl talk is fun, and you're fun to tease." She smirked, holding up a finger for each reason.
"Was there never anyone who caught your eye? You hang out with Best Jeanist so I thought maybe there was something there. Or maybe—" Emi made two peace signs and mashed them together. "Do you swing the other way?"
My entire face went red and I got abnormal temperature readings from practically every station. I pulled her hands apart and looked around to make sure nobody was watching or listening. "Are you out of your mind? Or are you that drunk?!"
"Am I right?" Emi asked, tilting her head with a Cheshire grin.
"No!" I yelled as quietly as possible.
"Come on! You gotta give me something to work with here!" She laughed, making me growl.
"You should know I've been too busy to even think about fraternization, or was my trial not aired on every TV across the country?"
"It's been months since then!"
"And I've spent all that time being a hero!"
"And before that?!"
"I was the Supply Depot Princess. A leadership role!"
Emi threw her head back in a groan. "You're hopeless! You're telling me you haven't even been looking at anyone? Nobody's caught your eye? You're closer to Best Jeanist than most people could ever dream! Do you know how many people would kill to be that close?"
"Honestly no, we're really good friends but that's it!"
"You're telling me you've never looked at him and thought, "man he's gorgeous,"?" I shook my head. "How?!"
"I don't know!? Because I'm an island masquerading as a woman!? Do islands fall in love!? Besides," I looked down. "Who would want to date an Abyssal? I'd think the alabaster skin and sickly neon eyes might scare people away."
"Ugh, please don't talk about yourself like that!" Emi gestured to me, "you're gorgeous. You don't even have to try, and with quirks nobody would bat an eye about you looking different. And despite your best efforts you've got a great personality."
"What do you mean despite my best efforts?" I whined.
"Shush! I'm talking. Anybody would be lucky to have you. You should see the amount of people who fantasize about hooking up with Shipgirls. Seriously, it's almost creepy."
I pursed my lips before sighing. "If you're gonna tell me about my creepy fans I'm not nearly drunk enough for it…"
"That's the spirit!"
Despite her encouragement, useful and creepy both, I was still positive I'd end up alone. It never bothered me before, why would it bother me now? Abyssals and Shipgirls were both brought into the world with the forms of women, but despite that I'd never thought about… domesticity. Families, children, love… I was an Abyssal, where would that factor into the War? The answer was that it didn't, so I'd never given it any thought. The only love I'd experienced was familial. There were rumors that other Abyssals had had relations with each other, but that was only rumor. I wasn't a Shipgirl so I didn't have any info on that front.
But I'd soon find out that I did have a type, and that it'd flip my world upside down.
Did you know that 100LL gasoline is used by the military and by Civil Aviation? Fun fact. Also, props to you if you knew what Torpedo Juice was before reading this chapter!
I had fun writing this chapter. Ms. Joke is just a fun character to read and write about, and she's gonna play a fun and key role in Mariana's story. A certain relationship with a broody red-eyes hero may play a part in that. But after everything in general it's probably a breath of fresh air for our Abyssal to just wind down over a few drinks.
We'll be getting more action next time, and more plot! So I hope you're excited for that~
Also I made a Discord Server! It might not be massive, and I probably won't be the most active because I'm busy as hell, but I thought that it'd be a fun idea. doesn't really like links so shoot me a DM if you're interested in an invite. It might take awhile for me to respond but I'll get there!
Next Story in the Rotation: Absolute Radiance
Thank you for reading, and I'll see you all soon!~
