A/N Faith, Hope and Trick aired October 13th, 1998 – credit to the Buffy wiki.
Apparently the full moon in this same month occurred on October 5th. So this chapter will cover Cordelia's first transformation since discovering her condition. The 5th was a Tuesday, so this will start with Monday.
Monday dawned grey and gloomy, which put Cordelia in a bad mood. Which wasn't helped by the fact that she didn't see Xander until their mutual free third period rolled around. When he walked up to her, Cordelia grabbed him and dragged him to the nearest janitor's closet. Once inside she dove into his arms, shaking.
Having a pretty good idea what the issue was, since they had both been keeping track of the days and knew that today was the first day of her transformation cycle, Xander just held her, rubbing her back and not saying anything.
After a few minutes, Cordelia raised her head and said, "I feel better. I've been feeling itchy all day. I can feel the wolf, Xander. It knows the full moon is coming. It's like it wants to stretch or something. It doesn't feel evil or even wrong, really, just there, closer than it's been up until now."
"It's going to take some time to get use to, Cor, nothing I can say will change that. But your not alone, I'm not feeling what your feeling, but I am concerned that I've been able to do enough to keep you safe. This cycle's like a dry run, to work out any bugs in the system, so to speak. I won't let anyone hurt you, Cordy, I promise."
"I know, and believe me, you're about the only thing keeping me calm right now. I don't know if I could handle this alone."
"Sure you could, if you had to. You're strong enough to handle anything life throughs at you. But you don't have to be. We can do it together."
They spent several minutes just softly kissing, no end goal in sight, just gentle kisses of reassurance and love.
After awhile, as they sat on the floor, leaning against the wall, with Cordelia curled nearly into Xander's lap; they began to discuss their plans for the evening.
"We should spend some time with Buffy and Willow, maybe at the Bronze, so they don't get suspicious. If they start noticing that there are three nights each month that they don't see us, well they could put two and two together before you're ready for them to know. I was thinking it might be a good idea for us to ask Giles to give us all a tutorial on the harmless demons and supernatural beings and slip werewolves in there so the girls are already predisposed to knowing they're not a threat. The soldier in my head tells me, information is often vital. In fact it should be something Giles already does. Maybe it's part of that Handbook he was talking about. The one he said was useless in Buffy case. Won't hurt to ask anyway."
"Come on, we should get to lunch, I hear they're claiming it's turkey sandwiches, today."
"Oh, don't worry about that, I asked Lupe to start packing a lunch for you too. And it's not a salad, I have definitely been craving meat."
"Cool, if I wasn't in love with you, I might propose to Lupe, just so I could have her yummy cooking all to myself."
"Doofus, no talking about proposing to other women while making out with me, bad puppy!"
The couple headed for her locker to grab their lunches and then on to the lunch room. They joined Buffy, Willow and Oz who were already there.
"Haven't seen much of you two in the last couple of weeks, what's up?"
"Cordy's practicing a new routine for cheerleading, I've been enjoying the boyfriend privilege of watching her be bendy and stretchy," Xander answered, "me like."
Cordelia swatted at him half-heartedly and said, "Homecomings not far off, I want the squad to show a new routine, I just need to get it down before showing it to them. Xander has been very helpful."
"Well Oz has been practicing a lot lately, his band is playing at the Bronze tonight and I've been enjoying my girlfriend privilege of being his practice audience." Willow piped up.
"While I've been dateless, so you can call me 'Boring Buffy', so we Bronzing it tonight since our favorite musician is playing?"
"Well Cordy and I were just saying some Bronze and hang out with the gang time would fun, so we're in."
"Yah, I want to dance with my Doofus, so play something slow Oz, so he doesn't look like he's spazzing out."
"Oh ha, I say to that, and that's about all I can say to that."
Everyone was laughing, when Buffy noticed they both were pulling out containers instead of getting lunch trays. "What's up with that?" she said, pointing.
"Oh, Xander loves my housekeeper Lupe's cooking, so I asked her to start making lunches for him. She adores him and calls him mi hijo."
"Mi hijo? What's that mean?" Buffy asked.
"It's Spanish for my son, Buffy," Xander answered. "Lupe doesn't have any kids of her own, but she's pretty much raised Cordelia, so loves her like a daughter and she likes me so she kind of adopted me. I'm not objecting. I told Cordy if I didn't love her I might propose to Lupe, just so I could always have access to her cooking." Not noticing Buffy or Willow tense slightly at his comment. "Anyway, we can't stay too late, I have a test first period."
They continued to chat until lunch ended, after which Xander walked Cordelia to her next class. "I probably won't see you again until after school," he said bending his head to kiss her, she was at just the right height, so it wasn't far, "but you know my schedule if you need anything."
"I'll be fine, I'm calmer now and by the way 'girlfriend privilege'?"
"What, you don't think it's an honor and a privilege to see you in that outfit. It has featured prominently in some of my favorite fantasies." he wiggled his eyebrows.
"You'll have to tell me in detail about those fantasies later," she said, grabbing one more kiss and inhaling his scent, before heading into the classroom.
After school, Xander and Cordelia each headed to their respective houses, to do homework and have supper, before meeting up again. While Willow and Buffy sat in the courtyard at school for awhile.
"Buffy, did you hear what Xander said at lunch? He said he told Cordelia he loves her! I just don't get what he sees in her, besides her tits, I mean."
"Yah, I heard him, Will, and she didn't even blink, so it's something she's used to him saying to her. I mean, she's not as bad as she was last year before they got together but, I honestly thought they would be splitsville before it ever got this far,"
"I always knew he didn't see me as girlfriend material and I've got Oz now, but it hurts that the person Xander loves, is the girl that made my life hell for years."
"If life was the way we wanted it to be Will, Xander and you would be together and Angel would be here. I don't think anyone's paying that much attention to how we want things to be."
After supper, Xander drove over to Cordelia's to pick her up. She had a bag packed, which he stowed in his trunk next to his own, as well as the supplies they'd already stored there, before heading over to the Bronze. Once there, they found Buffy and Willow at their usual table and chatted for awhile, before Cordelia pulled Xander out onto to the dance floor, when Oz began playing a slow tune. They swayed in each other's arms for awhile, mostly just holding each other. After a few dances they returned to the table, where Xander glanced at his watch and saw it was nearing 8. By mutual, but unspoken agreement, they decided it was time to go. They said their goodbyes to the girls and headed to Xander's car. After stopping at a convenience store to get some snacks and pop, and ice for Xander's small cooler to keep everything fresh, they headed for the little house. It took about forty minutes all told to reach it via the access road which was on the other side of town from the Bronze.
Once there, they quietly began setting up. Xander opened the door, then the trunk of his car. He handed Cordelia hers as well as his bag, which she carried inside, while he grabbed the small TV/VCR combo, a bag with movies in it, and his sleeping bag. Cordelia came back out and grabbed a bag with the ground cover and extra blankets in it. She watched as Xander laid out the ground cover, a blanket and then his sleeping bag on top of it. After which he plugged in the TV and set the cooler and snacks to the side.
She chose a movie and the two of them sat on the sleeping bag, not saying much as they watched the movie. Then Xander, "this is ridiculous, Cordy, we don't need to be so tense with each other. We can handle this."
"It isn't just that this the first time since this all started, it's because I'm worried about what wolf-me will do, What if she tries to get out, what if she hurts you? I don't know if I can deal with that."
"Cordy, when I said I would take care of you, I meant it, do you think I haven't considered those possibilities? I know what it's like to have something else controlling you and not know if it's going to hurt anyone, not to mention dealing with the guilt if it's actions." He leaned over toward his bag and pulled out a cordless alarm clock, under it was a gun. "This is a tranq pistol, Cordy. I have several darts. If wolf-you gets aggressive, I will tranq her. You don't have to worry that you'll hurt me or someone else. I will do everything I can to spare you that guilt, I promise."
"How do you know it'll work on a werewolf?"
"I don't, for sure, but these are dosed for putting down a real wolf, so it should at least have an effect."
"It must have cost a lot to get those."
"I dipped into my savings, but it's worth it to keep you safe, Cordy."
She burrowed back into his arms, "thank you."
"I love you, Cor."
"I love you, too.
"We should get ready for bed, you first."
"Ok."
Xander made sure his alarm was set and put it aside, along with the tranq pistol.
Cordelia had already decided that she would not be wearing any nightclothes, since continuously shredding them would be a problem, so she exited the bathroom wearing just a robe.
Xander took his turn and came out in his pajama bottoms, before climbing into the sleeping bag.
Cordelia shed the robe and laid down beside him, covering herself with a blanket and laying her head on his chest.
Xander wrapped his arm around her and said, "other circumstances and I would be naked too, but it's still a thrill to get to hold you naked, even if there's a sleeping bag between us and I still have some clothes on."
"Now isn't the time to have that discussion, but I think it's about time we did have it. I don't want our first time to be impulsive, Xander."
"I agree, we should schedule a time and talk about it. For now, though we need to get some sleep before Wolf-Cordy shows up. Sleep well, Cordy."
"You too, Doof."
A couple hours later, Xander woke up when he felt something licking his face and opened his eyes to see Wolf-Cordy. "It would be nice if you could tell me why you like licking my face," he said to her, "but since you can't, can we just go back to sleep, we have class in the morning." Wolf-Cordy studied him for a moment, then laid down beside him and closed her eyes. "Decided you don't need to sleep on me to make sure I don't go anywhere, huh?" Wolf-Cordy snorted and Xander drifted back to sleep.
When the alarm went off he felt Cordelia sit up and stretch beside him and opened his eyes to the sight of her gorgeous nakedness. He watched her apprecitively for a moment, then said "Playboy Centerfolds have nothing on you, Cor, you outshine them all."
Cordelia didn't bother covering herself this time, more comfortable with her nudity since they had declared their love and now had a plan to talk about making love together for the first time, so let him enjoy looking at her, it wasn't like she hadn't enjoyed seeing him in that speedo last spring or in just his underwear last month.
They dressed as best they could, Cordelia especially, not finding it easy, plus she only had a compact to help with applying her makeup. When Xander saw that, he made a mental note to find a mirror he could hang on the wall for her to use and a compact table he could fit in his trunk and folding chair so she had somewhere to set her clothes and sit.
In what would become routine for them, over the nights of the full moon cycles that followed, they would find themselves being more open and honest with each other then ever before. He confided in her about the Lie and his reasons for it, which had everything to do with the world being on the line and not being convinced Willow, fresh from a coma and never having so much as floated a pencil could even to do it, but regretting mentioning her at all when he talked to Buffy.
She confided her loneliness after Daddy remarried and she rarely saw him. How it made her angry and hurt her so she lashed out at others. How she missed the friends she'd had before having to have socially acceptable friends. Especially him, he who was so much a fixture in their shared childhood. He told of the We Hate Cordelia Club, when he thought she didn't want to be his friend anymore and how it hurt. And many more confidences over many full moon cycles he would see her though. All that would happen over time.
In the days after the cycle completed they patrolled with Buffy and Willow, aside from a few vampires, not much of note happened. Until Faith crashed into their lives, a week after her first cycle, that is.
