Hermione absently stared at her cuticles. She would rather be anywhere than here in this minute, with Madam Pomfrey, Professor McGonagall, Professor Snape and Headmaster Dumbledore all in the Headmaster's office, being forced to remember back to a time she had tried so hard to block out of her mind. She had stuffed it down, somewhere deep, to a place she never accessed.
It was traumatic, yes, but it had also made her consider her role in all of it. Not blaming herself, no. But had he forced her? Not exactly. Coerced, yes, forced, no. When she asked him to stop, he did. When it came down to it, the reason she didn't like to think about it was because she had allowed it. She had been curious; curious about what occurs between a man and a woman. Curious about her own body and it's secrets as well. It had all happened so fast as well. He had been so much older, experienced, and in charge, which she hated admitting, but she liked. It was nice sometimes, when you were a girl in control of everything, to cede that control; to yield to someone else. She blushed as she remembered him, knowing exactly how to work her body to, to-…
She could never tell Ron. She could never tell her other friends.
She definitely did not want to be in this meeting.
Dumbledore sat, regarding her over the frames of his glasses, Snape at his side. Madam Pomfrey was seated to the side and McGonagall slowly paced in front of her.
"Miss Granger," McGonagall started, "Madam Pomfrey had made me aware of your…situation, and I felt it would be remiss if I did not involve Professors Dumbledore and Snape."
Hermione looked down at the ground and shifted uncomfortably in her chair. 'Yes, it's so great that both these wonderful men can be here silently judging me. How thoughtful of you,' she thought to herself.
'Come on Hermione, you are the strongest girl here,' she quietly built herself up as she decided what to say next. She cleared her throat.
"I've had a day to think over everything and I've decided given the circumstances I…I do not wish to go through with the pregnancy."
Professor McGonagall strode over to her side. "We understand, Hermione, but I'm afraid it is not quite so simple. And it is precisely for that reason that I have called upon your headmaster and professor."
Dumbledore then spoke from his ornate chair.
"Miss Granger…I want you to know, we take your matter very seriously. What has been done to you is truly appalling. We are on your side and we will advocate for you. But we are bound by the laws of magic, of which I am not sure you are fully aware."
Hermione clenched her jaw and straightened her shoulders.
"You are referring, of course, to my blood status."
Dumbledore shook his head slowly, his eyes closing.
"There are only several doctors who have spells for termination of pregnancy. And, I'm sad to say, all of them will require consent from the member of the union who is of purer blood status."
Hermione thought for a moment and narrowed her eyes, before throwing her head back and laughing.
"I'm not sure I'm hearing you correctly professor…are you saying that I won't be able to make a decision about this pregnancy without the consent of my captor?!"
"Not without an exception from the Ministry of Magic," Snape offered, under his breath. She turned to look at him.
"You can't be serious-"
"I too find it ridiculous, Miss Granger." Snape said flatly.
Professor McGonagall walked over to Hermione as she stood.
"We do have several options. The first would be to petition the ministry and wait for their response. We can require them to expedite of course, but as time is of the essence-,"
"And the other?" Hermione asked angrily her eyes flashing as she strode to the window in Dumbledore's office.
"The second…," McGonagall's voice drifted off and she looked at Dumbledore and then at Snape. Dumbledore spoke next.
"The second, would be to find him, if he is alive, and bring him in to verify permission for the procedure."
"Absolutely not!," Hermione spun around angrily, then turned back to the window.
If he's alive.
Was he dead?
Her heart fluttered a little.
She hadn't even considered that possibility. Her brain fired anew.
'Why does it matter? He's left you like this. He's so irresponsibly left you in this predicament!' Her mind flashed and over-processed clashing thoughts as she watched the students through the window. They were so small from this office they looked like ants. How she wished to be one of them; the worst fear among them being if they failed a test or were sent to detention. Life had been so simple until yesterday. Well, until that night…
"I don't want to have to see him-,"
"You won't have to." Snape said, a little too forcefully. As she looked in his eyes, she saw something she had never seen; a moment of hesitation, of uncertainty. He changed his tone and continued. "I would go and get him and bring him here. He can sign any documents he needs and then he would be escorted immediately back to Azkaban."
"Assuming he is alive," McGonagall offered.
"Yes. Assuming he is alive and imprisoned." Snape added.
Hermione was quiet for a moment, and looked at Madam Pomfrey.
"Hermione, what are you thinking?"
Hermione paused and studied each of them before responding.
"I'm thinking all of this sounds suspiciously like it's been decided before I walked into this room!"
"Would you like us to have Mister Potter or Weasley join us?" asked McGonagall.
"No, and I would prefer to not involve either. This is my own personal business."
Dumbledore stood. "Of course. This is a private matter. You may rely on our discretion, Miss Granger. But I am afraid I will most likely have to involve the Ministry at this particular junction."
Hermione shuddered. Her private business being known by everyone, including members of the Ministry was not high at the top of her to do list.
"We will proceed with utmost consideration for your privacy." he added.
Minerva McGonagall cleared her throat. "It would be good to involve them; to have a record of the matter itself, and also to get the requisite allowances we may need in place."
"The requisite allowances?," Hermione growled again. She looked from Pomfrey to McGonagall to Dumbledore to Snape.
"Are you all mad?! What I cannot understand is how all of you cannot understand that it's my body and I and only I should have a say over what does or does not happen to it! I am so sick and tired of having my mudblood status figuring into everything! When will you all learn I'm exactly the same as the pure bloods, and even smarter and better in school! I'm so sick of this!"
Hermione was furious now, her eyes flashing and her hair billowing out around her.
"I understand and agree with you," Snape replied calmly and coolly. "I am very sorry that your school and community has failed you so completely. I cannot imagine what it must be like."
Hermione was more shocked than anyone at hearing such kind words coming from her normally terrible professor.
He continued. "Still, if you decide, I will go find him personally and take care of this myself."
Hermione thought about it for a moment and studied her professor's dark eyes. They did not seem cold and uncaring as they normally were; he did seem truly sorry for her. And maybe she even detected a hint of pity. She nodded slowly at him and spoke, after a moment of consideration.
"Alright, then. Find him and get him. But I do not want to see him, I….I just don't think I can face him again."
"Naturally." Snape raised his eyes to Dumbledore's and Dumbledore gave him a small nod.
"Well, then Miss Granger, it looks like we have an excellent plan in place. Please go with Madam Pomfrey; she will give you several potions to make you feel a little more like yourself. And do try to relax. My hope for you is that this is all over quickly and will be a distant memory as soon as possible." Dumbledore nodded to Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall.
McGonagall walked to Hermione's side. "Do let me know if you need anything at all, Miss Granger."
Hermione managed to turn the ends of her lips up weakly.
"Thank you all for your help with this frankly ridiculous and patriarchal matter."
Then she turned towards Madam Pomfrey.
"I'll go with you. Let's get started so I can get back to classes."
