"Maaaaajor Carter," Jack sing-songs as he glides into the laboratory of his Second in Command, tapping a pen against the folded cardstock and envelope in his hand. He watches as she startles and jumps up from her laptop, eyes at first wide then relaxed with her sigh as she lifts a hand to rest over her heart.
"Sir! You scared the shit out of me."
"Little old me?" he asks, innocently.
"What can I do for you, Sir?"
He drops the birthday card in his hands down to the counter in front of her and sets the pen against it, smiling. "It's Walter's birthday," he says. "We're all signing it."
Sam smiles but stares at him with some confusion. "Walter's birthday," she says.
"Yes, it is."
"Walter Harriman the Control Room Technician?"
"Yes, Carter. Is there a problem?"
"Of course not, Sir!" Sam yelps as she snatches the pen and opens the card. "I just, I don't remember you being the birthday card guy, Sir. You being, you know, second in command and all? Of the whole base?"
"Yes, well," Jack flourishes his hands and shrugs. "It's Walter. I like Walter."
She smiles. "Me too, Sir." Sam looks down at the card and can't help noticing the well-wishes already signed in. Daniel, Teal'c, Janet, Siler… General Hammond?! And a couple dozen or so more. It looks like he's been making the rounds for a while. She notes that Jack's own signature includes a crude drawing of the Stargate with a wormhole puddle and stick Walter nearby. She signs her name near that, laughing as she looks at the little face on the stick figure.
She hands it back with the pen on top, smiling brightly. "Will there be cake, Sir?"
"Oh, Carter," he says. "Wait till you see this cake." Jack's face lights up in a way she's never seen, brown eyes warming to hot and grin spreading further across his face than it's ever even threatened. He winks at her as he shoves the card into its envelope and passes his tongue over the adhesive to seal it. "Party is at 1400 in the Commissary. Don't be late?"
"I'll be there with bells on, Sir."
He winks at her as he finishes scrawling Walter's name across the front of the envelope, then taps the card against her counter. "I know you will, Carter."
Shavadai
Jack stalks the halls of the SGC with what feels like the weight of the entire Stargate in his stomach. His shoulders lack their usual sharp lines and trained posture. He doesn't notice the dozen or so base personnel who jump or skip aside to avoid him as he wanders hall to hall. He feels like shit, and it's one hundred percent his fault, and he doesn't know for sure if he can fix it.
He'd listened to Daniel over Sam; he'd agreed she should be subject to the local customs as if she were an anthropologist, despite her objections. And then he'd teased her about it and demeaned her with what was definitely gross harassment. He's not sure why he did that; he's not that guy. Or maybe he is and he's only realizing it because he's finally open to the possibility that for all his "I like women" bluster, he's actually part of the toxic culture of liking women but not supporting them, especially in an organization that was still openly wary of them. "Shit," he sighs.
Sam had been kidnapped and sold thanks to his bluster and his bullshit. She had been put in horrifying danger. Looking back at it now, he wishes he could slap the shit out of himself for how he'd commented on her appearance when she complained it made her feel unsafe- and that is absolutely what she had warned him about before he and Daniel and Teal'c had abandoned her for a party. A fucking party.
He makes his way to her lab and finds her there, still sitting at her computer, typing away at whatever she found important enough to keep her on base so late. He taps his knuckles to knock on the frame and coughs gently to alert her. "Carter?" he says. He makes it a question in case she wants to push him away. He'll understand.
"Hi, Sir," she says, glancing up and giving him a breezy smile. It's more than he expected and certainly more than he deserves. She holds his eyes in a way that suggests he should enter, so he does, and with a glance into the hall he pulls the door closed behind him. She raises an eyebrow and tilts a head at this, more confused than concerned. He sighs.
"Carter, I… I owe you an apology. Maybe more than one, but I'm going to start with this one and we'll work it all out."
"Sir?"
Jack slides onto the stool next to hers and looks into her eyes. He softens his features as much as he knows how to and rests a hand on the edge of her counter. "Carter, I failed you on this mission. I didn't listen to what you told me, and then I mocked your discomfort with decidedly inappropriate language, and as a direct result you were kidnapped and subject to unspeakable dehumanization and violence, and I'm sorry. I can't change any of that now, and if you want to bring me up on charges for my conduct, I won't dispute it. But I promise you this: if I'm given the opportunity, I will work harder to make sure I never, ever, ever fail you again. You are an Air Force officer of distinction and I will treat you with the respect you deserve for as long as I am afforded an opportunity to know you."
Sam's lips part gently, eyes curiously scanning his face as he speaks. She tilts her head, nodding in agreement with everything he says. He actually appreciates that she seems to agree with him, despite the negative potential implications of that. "I believe you, Sir" is all she says.
"Uh, yeah?" He knows he sounds like an idiot.
"Yeah," she nods. "Um, permission to speak freely, Sir?"
"Granted."
"You're right that what you did was wrong, and to be honest, Sir, it really fucking sucked to deal with that. Daniel is here for his job, and I'm here for mine, and my job isn't being eye candy-not for aliens and not for you." She pauses here, eyes sharply focused on his own.
"No, it's not," he says.
"I expect a primitive culture to treat me like shit, but not you."
"That's fair; I'm sorry."
"That said, I accept your apology, and I do believe that you'll work on it. I trust you," she says. "I'm almost never wrong, Colonel. Please don't make me wrong about this," and this time she smiles just a little at him.
Jack allows his lips to quick up just a hair and nods. "Consider it a promise, Captain."
"I'll hold you to that, Sir."
"See that you do, Carter. I mean that." Jack stands from the stool and nods at her awkwardly as she goes back to typing and he backs out of her presence, drilling into himself that he will never be that guy again.
"Yes, Sir," she says quietly from behind as he pulls open her door and exits.
It occurs to him that her acceptance of his apology and promise to be better indicates how low the bar is, how low she's seen it. He'd been part of the problem, but he'd be damned if he'll continue to be. 'Never again, Jack. Never,' he thinks.
