Chapter 38 - Coping with Change

Summary: Princess Zelda remembers Astra and receives a surprise communication. Link agrees to a future visit to Hyrule Castle, his first since his Zora transformation.

"Here, let me fix your blanket. You have it all twisted."

It was the early evening at Hyrule Castle, and Princess Zelda was saying goodnight to her nine-year-old son Horwell. It seldom took very long now - unlike when she or her husband Randall used to tuck Horwell in with a bedtime story. Now Horwell was proud to be reading by himself, and both she and his tutors were pleased he enjoyed reading so much. But it also meant he had outgrown his parents telling him bedtime stories.

"Are you ready to say goodnight to your father?" she asked after straightening the blanket.

"Ready, Mom."

Randall never liked to miss his son's bedtime. But tonight, he was away at the Akkala Citadel celebrating his friend Alan's promotion. So he and Horwell would have to exchange goodnights by video call. After Randall answered her call and said he could talk, she handed her Tab to Horwell so they could see each other.

"All ready for bed?"

"Yes. Wow! It looks like a big party, Dad," said Horwell seeing all the people in the background.

"Yes, Alan's whole battalion and his family are here. It's a special moment for him."

"When will you be back home, Dad?"

"Tomorrow afternoon, before you finish your last lesson," said Randall.

"Great! See you then."

The two of them exchanged goodnights, and then Princess Zelda took back the Tab, and she and Randall briefly spoke.

"Enjoy the festivities, and congratulate Alan for me."

"I will. Miss you and love you, sweetheart," said Randall.

"Love you, too. Goodnight."

She ended the call and then turned back to Horwell, kissing him on the forehead.

"Goodnight to you too, and happy dreams, sweetheart."

"Goodnight, Mom."

Then Horwell rolled over and closed his eyes while she quietly slipped out of his bedroom and closed the door.

Princess Zelda had the rest of the evening to herself and no particular plans. It was still too early for her to go to bed, so she wandered down the hall toward her mother's room. That would take her past her old room, the one she used to sleep in before she married. And past her sister Astra's room too.

As she walked down the quiet hallway, she thought about the passage of time and how inconsistent and subjective it felt. Some events objectively further in the past seemed recent. For example, it was hard to believe Horwell would turn ten years old in a couple of months. What happened to the little boy who used to call her Mommy? Or, for that matter, the baby she once held in her arms? It didn't seem that long ago. And it wasn't just some older happy moments that felt recent. It was almost eleven years since that horrible day she saw her father Rudin killed by the Yiga Clan as he ensured she was safe. That, too, still felt all too recent for her.

But other objectively more recent events seemed further in the past. Her sister Astra had been gone for a year and a half, but it seemed much longer. Why was that? It wasn't simply because of how much she missed her. She missed her father too, after all. She guessed it was impossible to figure out how the mind dealt with these things.

But Astra would be perfect company right now, somebody to chat with and laugh with at quiet moments when she wasn't busy with her own family. She and Astra could talk about anything, whether serious or not. Well, they could once Astra finally learned how to keep a secret, she thought with a smile.

She remembered the time she and Astra were walking along this very hallway on the way to breakfast with her parents. She had recently begun dating Randall then, and Astra was a few weeks shy of her six-year-old birthday.

"Can I ask you something, Zel?" said Astra as she and her sister walked together holding hands.

"Of course."

"Does Mommy know you and Randall kiss?"

"What!?"

"I saw you last night when you came home," said Astra. "I was looking out my bedroom window."

"Does Mother know you were up past your bedtime looking out the window?"

"I asked you first," said Astra.

"No, she doesn't know. But sisters are supposed to keep each other's secrets."

"It's a secret, then?" said Astra.

"It is kind of a secret for now".

"Why is it a secret?"

"Because Mother or Father may worry about me that I don't know how to behave properly, and we don't want to worry them, do we?" said Zelda. "Besides, if you tell them, they will know you stayed up late, and you may get in trouble."

"I guess that's true," said Astra. "I was looking up at the night sky, the moon, and the stars. It's so interesting! Then I saw you and Randall."

"I see," said Zelda.

"You like Randall, don't you?" said Astra.

"Yes, we like each other, but we are still getting acquainted."

"Your mouths looked like they already got very acquainted," said Astra.

"Can we change the subject, Astra?" whispered Zelda as they neared the dining room. "Now we're sisters, remember, and we keep each other's secrets, okay?"

"Okay, Zel," said Astra, who made a motion as if sealing her lips. "Not a word from me!"

"They entered the family dining room, and Queen Zelda and Rudin were already there. Everyone exchanged good morning hugs and then sat down to breakfast.

"Did you both sleep well?" asked Queen Zelda.

"I slept very well, Mother," said Princess Zelda.

"I didn't fall asleep right away," said Astra looking at her sister, who glared back at her. "But I slept well in the end."

"Did Zelda's stories keep you awake, sweetheart?" said Queen Zelda. "Are they too exciting for bedtime?"

"No, no, it wasn't the stories," said Astra. "I love Zel's stories, and they help me to sleep. I close my eyes after the story and pretend I am in it, fighting evil."

Astra could be mischievous, but she was so cute sometimes.

When she reached the door to Astra's room, she paused this time. That was something new for her. Since Astra had left, whenever she came this way, she had always rushed past her sister's room, not wanting to get too emotional. She hadn't set foot in it since Astra left. But maybe it was long past the time to accept Astra was gone, deal with her feelings, and pay her room a visit.

As usual, the door to Astra's room was closed but not locked. Castle staff periodically dusted it, keeping the room clean, but it was otherwise untouched. Mother had not wanted anything done with the room either. Princess Zelda took a deep breath, opened the door and went in.

Though the room was clean, the air felt stale as the windows were kept closed. That was undoubtedly one difference from before. If Astra were still living here, the windows would have been thrown open every night, no matter the weather. Her sister loved looking out the window before bedtime.

Everything else about the room was as she remembered it. Astra's clothes were still hanging in the closet. The hairbrush she sometimes used to brush Astra's hair still lay on her dressing table. The bed was neatly made, the way Astra liked it. And Astra's books were still on the bookshelf near her bed.

Princess Zelda wandered over to look at the bookshelf. There were a few textbooks from Astra's tutoring days, some novels, and a dictionary. Most of these books were available by Tab or Mab now. But there, on the second shelf, a book she recognized caught her eye. It was a green-covered book with gold lettering on the spine, a collection of adventure stories she had gotten Astra for her birthday. She used to read her bedtime stories from this book until Astra was old enough to read them on her own.

Zelda reached for the book, took it from the shelf, and flipped it open. But as she did so, an envelope fell from the book and onto the floor. She picked it up and saw it was addressed in Astra's handwriting to "Princess Zelda", with the word "Personal" written underneath. Zelda put back the book and opened the envelope at once. It contained a letter she unfolded and began to read.

Hi Sis,

Surprised? I bet you are!

I don't know how long it's been, but I thought someday you would take my birthday present down from the shelf and open it. You know how much I loved its stories. Thank you again for the perfect gift!

Anyway, I wanted to say more of a proper goodbye and sending you a Tab message when I leave is not what I had in mind. Besides, I only want you to read this when you're ready, not leave it out in the open for you or someone else to find the first thing I'm gone.

I hope you can forgive me for not sharing what I knew would happen to me after my seventeenth birthday and for not saying goodbye to you in person. I wanted to, Zel, for I love you so very much. And I hated keeping such an enormous secret from you. Imagine me keeping a secret!

But seriously, dear sister, the time we spent growing up together, playing, laughing, talking, and hugging, are the moments I cherish most in my life. Those are the memories of you I want to carry away with me and keep with me forever. I couldn't bear to see you sad, Zel, especially not because of me. It would break my heart, and I couldn't deal with it. Perhaps that is selfish of me, but I hope you understand.

I wish things were otherwise, and fate allowed me to remain with you and the rest of my family that I love so much. I would have enjoyed being a good aunt to Horwell and watching him grow into the fine young man I'm sure he will be. And I would have loved to see my niece Tara grow up as well, albeit more slowly. But as Mom always told us, being a Princess of Hyrule means we must sometimes sacrifice happiness for the good of our kingdom and trust that the Goddess knows best.

There is so much more I want to say to you, dear sister, but it's getting hard not to smear the ink with my tears. So, let me close by saying that though we may be apart, you will always be in my thoughts and prayers. You and Mom are my role models for the duty that awaits me, and I couldn't ask for better ones.

Please give my love to Randall and Horwell. And Mom, too, of course. Be well. I love you.

Astra

P.S. If I ever have a daughter, I promise to name her after you. That was a joke, Zel, and I hope it made you smile.

Yes, it made her smile, but she also had to wipe away tears from her eyes. This letter was unexpected and a lot to take in. Just then, she heard a noise and turned to see her mother standing in the doorway.

"Are you okay, sweetheart? You're crying."

"Yes, Mother, I'll be okay. I finally mustered enough courage to visit Astra's room and found a farewell letter she had left for me. Here, you should read it too."

Zelda read the letter and then they embraced.

"That's a sweet note, and I'm glad she wrote it. Randall is away tonight, is he not? Come, let's have some mother-daughter time. I think neither of us wishes to be alone right now," said Zelda.

They made their way the short distance to Queen Zelda's room, and she made tea for them both. Then they sat down while Mia rested on a blanket left for her on the floor.

"The tea tastes delicious," said Princess Zelda. "I needed a cup."

"Me too. I can imagine how hard reading that letter was."

"It just seems so unfair, Mother, for the Goddess to take Astra away from us after we grew to love her so much. Why couldn't there be another way?"

"We can't know why, dear," said Zelda. "I've thought about it often and even discussed it with your uncle Link and Doctor Purah, trying to imagine what that other timeline Link left behind would be like. Astra was unique, having both the hero's spirit and the Goddess's blood. There must be a reason that combination of gifts was needed, and we just have to trust that her leaving us was necessary for the good of Hyrule."

They both took another sip of tea.

"Speaking of Uncle Link, I haven't seen him since his Zora transformation over a year ago. Do he and Aunt Mipha no longer visit you here?"

"Funny you should ask," said Zelda. "I've invited them several times, but they always claim they can't visit. That surprised me because they used to enjoy visiting, and Mipha and I always had some good-natured fun teasing Link when they were here. Finally, just the other day, I ran into your cousin Mila in the library and asked her what could be the matter with her parents. The only thing she could think of was that perhaps her father was still too self-conscious over his decision to transform from a Hylian to a Zora. She said King Dorephan even arranged a family get-together to show everyone's support for his decision and help him get over it."

"Really? I guess I never thought much about how Uncle Link might feel afterwards."

"I know Link well, and I should have suspected it. He would sometimes rush into combat without thinking but then review in his mind everything that happened. He always wanted things to turn out for the best and was prone to second-guessing whether he made the right decision. Holy Hylia, it even affected how he cooked his meals!"

"How was that?"

"I'll give you an example," said Zelda. "It was back when Link was my knight, and we were travelling together. We had to stay at a stable for the night, and I think it must have been in the cold Hebra region. We needed to prepare dinner, and Link always insisted I prepare my meal first, which I did. Then he got ready to prepare his meal as we sat by the cooking pot. The warmth of the fire was very welcome! We shared my Sheikah Slate back then to store ingredients since it was easier to carry them that way. Anyway, Link liked to experiment with recipes. He would consider one ingredient, think about it, then shake his head and consider another."

"Should I use a Chillfin Trout or a Winterwing Butterfly?" Link muttered. "How many of each? Or maybe both? And would some Spicy Peppers help? Or would that be too much? Last time I tried …."

"You get the idea. I grew so exasperated I finally took back the Sheikah Slate and cooked dinner for him myself! He said he enjoyed it."

"That's funny," laughed Princess Zelda as her mother took a sip of tea.

"As for visiting me, I guess I didn't help matters when, after Link's first transformation nineteen years ago, the time he transformed to fight Underwater blight Ganon, I pressed him to change back to a Hylian afterwards. I apologized later, but you know how sensitive Link can be. I still remember what he said to me, one of the few times we had a serious argument.

I think commanding me like this is unfair of you. What makes you so sure the Hero of Hyrule must always be a Hylian? I know it's written that the sword always chooses a Hylian hero, but you don't think Hylia can change that? With all due respect, I think you are letting your prejudices as a Hylian affect your judgment and sacrificing my happiness in the process. Can you not be more open-minded about this, for my sake? I want to spend my remaining years with Mipha in a way that will make us both the happiest.

He probably feels I am disappointed in his decision, though I'm not."

They both paused for another sip of tea.

"Anyway, I asked Mila to speak with Mipha and try to get Link over his hesitancy to see me. He should know our friendship is special and transcends his physical appearance."

"I guess it's still hard for him," said Princess Zelda, shaking her head. "I can't imagine what it must be like to do something so drastic, change into an entirely different race. "

"It's the power of love, dear," laughed Zelda. "Link did it for Mipha, so he would be there for her as she grew older. You feeling better, by the way?"

"Yes, the tea and changing the subject helped. Am I keeping you up?"

"No, not at all. I was thinking of calling you anyway after I finished work, as I knew Randall was away. But you reminded me I should invite Mipha and Link again. Perhaps Mila speaking to them has helped change their mind. So let me do that at once before I forget. I'll send a quick message to Mipha."

Zelda messaged Mipha, and then they resumed their conversation.

"Now, tell me all about what my cute grandson did today."

Meanwhile, later that evening in Zora's Domain, Mipha and Link were enjoying an evening swim together in East Reservoir Lake after spending the day with the family.

"Your backward swimming is much improved," said Mipha. "I noticed you did more of that when you played tag with Tara."

"Yes, it's a good way to keep an eye on the person chasing you while trying to elude them," said Link. "The only problem is you have to swim fast enough to keep them from catching you, which I still find hard to do. Tara's a fast swimmer!"

"You certainly looked like you had fun."

"I did, and I enjoy spending time with the family," said Link. "But I love being alone with you, even more, sweetheart."

Link took Mipha's hand, pulling her close, and then they embraced for a kiss. But just then, Ruta let out a soft bellow, startling Link and interrupting their kiss.

"Oh, don't worry, it's nothing, sweetheart," said Mipha. "Ruta is just reminding us that we're not alone."

"What? Ruta's listening to our conversation?"

"Well, not exactly listening," laughed Mipha as they held each other. "I'm listening to our conversation, and Ruta's learning what was said from my thoughts. I'm her pilot, after all."

"So she's heard everything I've ever told you?"

"No, of course not," laughed Mipha. "We can only read each other's thoughts when I'm near to her. And by the way, Ruta thinks very highly of you now."

"Finally!" laughed Link. "It took long enough!"

"But speaking of thinking highly of you, another of your admirers, Zelda, keeps inviting us to visit. You can't keep avoiding her, sweetheart, and I don't know why you want to. Are you ashamed of who you are now?"

"No, no, it's not that, not that at all," said Link as he shook his head. "I've never been happier finally being able to share life with you the way you deserve. It's hard to explain. I know it shouldn't bother me, but I still care about how Zelda feels about me, and I would hate to see a negative reaction."

"I guarantee she won't have one. She knows it's still you, and you two know each other almost as long as we do. Show some courage!"

"Funny," said Link. "Did Zelda Tab you again or something?"

"Yes, earlier this evening, she sent us another invitation. And Mila told me Zelda spoke to her, asking why we were avoiding a visit."

"What did Mila tell her?"

"She blamed you, of course. Which is true."

"It is," said Link as he shook his head.

"So I am going to accept her invitation for next weekend," said Mipha.

"Fine, let's do it," said Link. "Now, where were we when Ruta interrupted us?"

"Discussing overheard conversations?" Mipha teased.

"Very funny, sweetheart," said Link as he took her hand. "Let's continue our 'conversation' underwater, where there will be fewer interruptions. I find everything is much better in water."

"You are so right, sweetheart!" laughed Mipha as she squeezed his hand. "Those poor Hylians just don't know what they're missing, do they?"

"No, indeed!"

Then they both laughed and disappeared beneath the waves.