"You gotta go with the laser beams; they're a timeless classic," Jack says, tapping his pen against the school photo order packet in his hands. He looks down to Cassie's face and finds it scrunched up. "What?"
"They don't look very timeless. Or classic."
Jack huffs in faux exasperation. "What would you know about timelessness or classics, anyway, kid? You're only 12 and you've been on this planet for like six months."
"Sir," Sam interjects quietly, not looking up from her own copy of the packet on the other side of Cassie. They've been tasked with picking her up from school and helping with homework today. Well, Sam had been tasked. Jack had puppy-dog-eye-Colonel'd his way into joining.
"You know what, Cass, this might all be pointless anyway," Jack murmurs, turning the page of the little booklet to see more background options. "The cameras might not be able to see your little alien face."
"Sir." Sam says again, this time with a little disapproval.
Jack shrugs, and stares over the little girl's head at Sam. "What, Carter? We don't know; what if Cassie is part vampire or something?" Sam doesn't look amused, but Cassie does, so he continues. "Come to think of it, have we ever seen her reflection?"
"Colonel."
"Maybe we should take her to Cafe Bella and stuff her full of garlic bread, see what happens." Jack grins innocently up at Sam; this time he can see her resolve crumbling, but she's still trying to keep it going. "Fine, Carter, but we're all gonna feel pretty stupid in a couple months when these come back and it's just a blank background."
Jack can tell from the sigh he hears over Cassie's little head that Sam has given in, so he risks a glance at her and is thrilled to see she's trying but failing to conceal a smile finally breaking loose.
"You know, Uncle Jack, I thinkI might tell mom you called me an alien vampire," Cassie says with a smug smile she definitely picked up from him.
"You wouldn't." Jack's hand is flat against his chest, eyes wide with mock terror.
"I think I might, and I'll have to tell her you threatened to overfeed me with carbs. You know how she hates that."
"Ack! No, she only just stopped harassing me about letting you try a sip of my beer."
"Maybe I'll tell her how you and Daniel sometimes take turns distracting her to get out of med checks early."
"Cass! Are you trying to get me killed?"
"I think I'll have to back her up, Sir," Sam chimes in with a cheerful smile.
"Traitor! That's insubordination."
"I mean, I could be persuaded to keep these things to myself."
Jack grins, nodding slowly. "You little punk. You set me up, didn't you?"
"I would never do that, Uncle Jack," Cassie says, smiling sweetly but unable to hide the sparkle of mischief in her eyes.
"This is your fault, Carter. Our sweet innocent alien vampire child learned this from watching you pool shark."
"Maybe you're just a sucker," Sam says, turning another page in the photo packet. "Sir." She gives him her best toothy grin, the one with her full dimples and big bright eyes.
"That's two reprimands coming your way now, Captain," he grouses through his smile. "All right, kid. What's the damage?"
"I'm pretty sure we have to pass Smitty's Ice Cream on the way to my house. Be a shame if I didn't get a triple scoop waffle cone with extra sprinkles."
"Jesus, Cass, that thing is almost as tall as you are."
Cassie shrugs. "Like I said, be a shame… I might have to tell mom about how you let me try a sip of your coffee, too."
"Oof, Colonel, I think Janet might hate that more than the beer, even," Sam says (he thinks rather unhelpfully).
Outnumbered and overmatched this time, Jack raises his hands in surrender and lifts himself off the couch. He spins quickly and grabs Cassie around the waist and legs to haul her into a fireman's carry; she squeals and giggles the whole way up. "C'mon, Carter. Let's grab Shark Junior's stuff and we'll get her home," he says.
Sam laughs and collects a pile of finished homework, sliding it into Cassie's rainbows and unicorns backpack. "Ready, Sir," she grins again.
Cassie giggles the whole way to the truck, trying to tickle Jack anywhere she can reach, as she often does. It's only through years of training that Jack is able to hide where he actually is quite ticklish on his sides at the bottom of his ribs, but he manages out of self-preservation. He drops her into the back seat and makes sure she's buckled in safely, then jumps in the front with Sam.
"I think I will get the lasers, Uncle Jack," Cassie says from behind her absurdly large ice cream cone.
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah they're timeless and classic," she says. "Like mint chip ice cream and pool sharking."
Jack glances over at Sam almost for permission to laugh, and they both break into fits of what Jack would later admit was, indeed, giggling.
