Chapter 47
Searching for an ideal
"Chef, for tonight's bouillabaisse, I've finished preparing the fish and clams."
"What about the vegetables?"
"Washed and cut, stored in the refrigerator."
"Rouille sauce?"
"Made with garlic and saffron as you requested."
"If you screwed up, you can say goodbye to your next days off."
"You won't regret it, chef!"
Sanji kept his eyes fixed on the cake Amy was working on in front of him, making a point of ignoring his kitchen boy. It seemed that Sam had reached the end of his tasks though and the blond wasn't one to go back on his word. He could have checked but during the several months that he was here, Sanji had learned to trust the young man. Each time, his demands were scrupulously respected.
"You can go then."
"Thank you, chef!"
Sanji shook his head when the door slammed behind his cook, his gaze still fixed on the frosting taking shape in the girl's hands.
With Elio, Sam was one of the lucky ones who had joined the All Blue a few months earlier and if at the beginning, the blond hadn't let them out of his sight, he was now forced to see that the two men took up the challenge honorably. They were versatile and quick to respond to his or Zeff's order. Elio seemed more outgoing than his colleague but Sam seemed more organized and the two had been quick to sympathize and help each other. That's why when the young cook had come to ask Sanji to take his day off a little ahead of his schedule, he had had no objective reason to refuse. He had simply asked him to arrange with Elio and the other cook was replacing him for the service tonight.
Glancing at Amy's focused figure again, Sanji resumed making his Saint-Honoré. The young girl was working well and on the other side of the kitchen, Zeff was gutting some fish to make sea bread. The blond did a quick calculation in his head: between Sam's preparations, Zeff's and his own, they would be fully ready for the evening service which wouldn't begin for a few hours. Satisfied, Sanji added some cream to his mixture to obtain a light and creamy paste.
At that moment, Amy put her piping bag back on the worktop and Sanji left his own utensils to join her. "Are you done?" He inquired.
"I think so."
"So, what do you think?"
"Not bad…" Amy was gazing morosely at her cake and Sanji shook his head, amused. The young girl didn't realize it but she had made enormous progress in pastry since all those months she spent training with him. "You're too hard on yourself, Amy. It's a beautiful presentation," he reassured her.
"Thanks." The young girl took off her apron and the blond grabbed a serving plate to place her cake. He wiped the edges before examining it again at arm's length. "Really, you did good!" He repeated while turning to her, delighted.
"That's nice, Sanji."
"You don't seem convinced," he was surprised.
"I am. It's just…" Amy shrugged awkwardly, her gaze shifting, and Zeff scraped the bottom of his pot behind them. "The kid ain't cut out for cooking," he grumbled.
Immediately, Sanji turned to him, furious. "We get it, you don't approve. But it turns out that I gave her my approval and it's my restaurant so Amy will continue to cook, whether you like it or not!"
His old mentor rolled his eyes as he continued his preparations. "Dumbass…"
Sanji gritted his teeth to refrain from replying. When he had said to the old geezer that he was now allowing Amy to cook, the man had grumbled without making any further comment, but the blond knew what he was really thinking because of his distant and sullen attitude. Zeff had forbidden the girl from going near the kitchen from day one and he didn't appreciate Sanji contradicting him on that point. Yet the blond had decided that he didn't care about his opinion because it was important to him to ensure that no one was prevented from learning if they wanted to.
Trying to control his anger, Sanji returned his attention to his apprentice who had lowered her eyes. "Don't listen to that old fool, Amy. You're doing just fine and with practice, you'll make an excellent baker!" She nodded gently and the cook suddenly checked the time. "It's time to bring their snack to our brave fishermen!" He pointed out with a smile, "Let's hurry before they leave."
Amy quickly put away her last ingredients and the blond put a cover on her cake before washing his hands. Without a word for his former mentor, he grabbed his coat and went down with the young girl towards the beach, her dessert in his arms.
When they reached the white sand, the cook raised the collar of his coat to protect himself from the fresh wind. Winter had set in for some time already and even if the snow didn't stick to the ground, the air remained cold in the heart of the day. Sanji noticed that Lily's usual small team had been joined by a few villagers then and that they were already ready to set sail. The young woman had suggested organizing a two-day expedition to catch fish further offshore and she had called for volunteers. Sanji was delighted to see that solidarity was still in order on All Blue.
Yet as he approached, his eyes narrowed suddenly. From where he stood, he could see Liam and Tori who had come to help with the preparations in addition to three other inhabitants who were checking the equipment, but he could also make out the figure of Sam in fishing gear and deep in conversation with Lily.
The betrayal was immediately felt and his barely sleeping mistrust was unleashed. Feeling the fury rising, he pointed out the table that now sat permanently on the edge of the beach to Amy. "You can start arranging the plates and portions, I'll join you right away."
As the young girl nodded before walking away, the blond rushed in the direction of his cook, his eyes blazing. "You motherfucker, I thought you were taking a day to rest!" He yelled when he came up to him.
Facing him, his kitchen boy began to blush. "I, uh, I wanted to relax and… fishing is a good way to relax?"
"Don't fuck with me! It's an exhausting activity, especially when you're not used to it! What are you trying to do? You wanna sabotage their work?! I'm warning you, if you try to hurt Lily, you'll regret it!"
"What? No!" He immediately protested.
"He simply volunteered," Lily intervened to try to appease him.
Sanji looked his assistant cook up and down. "I don't see where your interest would be. The pace of work isn't fast enough for you at the restaurant? You want more hours?"
"I-I don't," Sam stammered, "I just wanted to help…"
"Sanji, I don't think he had bad intentions." The blond turned his head to stare suspiciously at Liam who had just arrived and the man cleared his throat. "I'm sure everything will be fine. Also, Lily won't be alone," he added.
"There'll be ten of us," the young woman confirmed. "And I'm sure Sam will be very helpful!"
Sanji finally turned his attention back to the smiling fisherwoman and then to the cook who was visibly blushing. The blond felt his blood rush at this sight but Liam grabbed his arm. "Sam will be pleased to discover other activities and Lily will be delighted to get to know him," he insisted, giving his friend a pointed look. "Right, Lily?"
"R-Right… Yeah, absolutely!"
Sanji froze at these words and the scientist took the opportunity to nod to the other two who quickly turned around in the direction of the table where the rest of the villagers had gathered.
Left alone with Liam, Sanji took a deep breath before shoving a cigarette in his mouth to calm himself down. "What a hypocrite, fishing doesn't interest him at all," he got annoyed, flicking the flame of his lighter. "I'll make him eat his fishing rod if he touches a single one of her hair…"
At his side the dark-haired man watched his friend who was laughing again with the young cook. "You know, Lily is quite keen on him too. She can barely stop talking about him."
Sanji gritted his teeth around his cigarette butt. "He has a double interest in going straight then because if I learn he's not playing fair, finding another job will be the least of his worries." The blond then walked towards the table while Liam followed him, an amused smile on his face.
Back with the villagers, Sanji quickly noticed that Amy had started to serve and he approached the fisherwoman who had just received a plate.
"This cake looks really appetizing," Liam noted greedily as he arrived.
"And what a beautiful decoration!" Lily was amazed.
"Amy wanted it to be ready before you left," the blond informed her while noticing with satisfaction that Sam was careful to stay away with the other townspeople. "I'm sure it'll be delicious."
Amy soon brought a share to Sanji and Liam and all three hastened to take a first bite.
"Hm, this is really delicious!" The scientist licked his lips, "You've outdone yourself, Amy," he congratulated her.
"The chocolate melts in the mouth," Lily rejoiced. "I could eat it all day!"
"I mostly followed Sanji's recommendations," the young girl murmured, visibly embarrassed.
"You made all the sponge cake alone," the cook reminded her.
"You can be proud of yourself," the fisherwoman insisted.
Amy nodded but walked away down the beach toward the ocean, her head down, and the three friends shared a surprised look.
"Did something happen?" The blond inquired, frowning.
"I don't think so. When I got here, she was cutting the cake," Lily replied, just as surprised.
Concerned by this attitude, Sanji handed his plate to Liam to leave in turn towards the shore.
The cook sat down in silence on the large damp stones bordering the ocean alongside the young girl who had taken refuge here. The cold was biting because of the humidity and sea breeze, but it preserved all its vitality and sparkling blue reflections, creating a feeling of soothing immutability.
Sanji took out a cigarette. "This ocean is amazing," he whispered after lighting it.
"I know."
"Don't let that old fool make you doubt your abilities. He's got a terrible temper but if you show him your determination, he'll end up recognizing your merits."
Amy shook her head, tightening her legs against her body as if to better curl up on herself. "It's not that…" The cook then raised an eyebrow with curiosity and the girl bit her lip, her eyes suddenly filling with tears. "I'm sorry, Sanji…"
Stunned, the blond removed the cigarette he had stuck between his lips. "What's going on, Amy? Did someone hurt you?" He asked, worried.
The girl shook her head again, this time forcefully. "N-No, you're all so n-nice to-to me and I don't w-want to disappoint you…"
"Disappoint me? What are you talking about? You can't disappoint me, Amy, I know you're doing your best!"
"I…" Big tears rolled down her cheeks and the cook stubbed out his cigarette against the rocks with concern. "You know you can tell me anything," he urged her, "I won't be mad, I promise."
The sobs shook the young girl a little more but she tried to pull herself together. The blond eyed her attentively, trying to hide his impatience for fear of rushing her.
"I-I know I was the one who asked to learn how to cook but… I changed my mind," she finally confessed, trying to swallow back more tears. Beside her, the blond frowned. "Is it because of what Zeff said?"
"It's not… It's just that I really thought I'd like to learn pastry but I was wrong… I'm sorry." She looked up and her eyes filled with tears again when she met Sanji's gaze. The blond looked at her little protégé, baffled. "Amy, if you don't like to cook, why didn't you tell me before? I've been making you cook in your free time for months!"
"I liked it," the young girl assured him while sniffling. "It's just that I gradually realized I don't wanna do this all the time… I know you and Zeff warned me that it's a difficult job and it's not that I didn't believe you but… I saw people enjoying your dishes and I wanted to do something good too…"
Sanji sighed. How had he not seen that Amy was forcing herself to cook to please him? "I'm the one who's sorry," he said then. "You shouldn't have felt obliged to continue and if I had been more careful, I'd have noticed that it didn't make you that happy…" Amy lowered her head again, ashamed. "I just wanted to be like you," she whispered.
"Like me?" The blond repeated, confused. "How so?"
"Well, Zeff told me that since you were little, you knew you'd become a chef. You have this passion, this… dream. And you did it, you even make people happy with your restaurant while I don't know what I wanna do… I'm looking for it but I can't find it…"
"But you help us a lot at All Blue," the cook reminded her, surprised by her remark.
"I know and I really appreciate the job you gave me. It's just… I wish I had a dream too. Something to achieve that I'd be proud of…"
Sanji was speechless for a few seconds before he shook his head. "You know, we don't all wake up knowing what we were born to do. It's true that very early on, I knew I'd like to cook for others, but that didn't stop me from doubting that I was good at it for a long time."
"Really?" She wondered. The blond nodded confidently. "Really. Also, some people don't understand until later what they wanna become and it doesn't make their dream any less worthwhile. There are many other exciting things than cooking in this world and you have time to find out who you really are."
"But I wanna find it right away!"
"You shouldn't force yourself to continue if this isn't what you're looking for then. Regarding cooking, you have experienced enough to know if it suits you or not and now that you have your answer, you need to try something else."
"All right." Amy wiped her eyes and the blond nodded toward the ocean. "You'll need to talk to Usopp one day."
"Usopp?"
"He's a good friend of mine; he's on the ship that brought me here. And until he met our captain, he didn't know exactly what he wanted to do. I'm sure he'll give you good advice."
"Do you think so?" She asked him hopefully.
"I do. Just like you, he had a lot of desires and hopes but it was only when he boarded with Luffy that everything became clear."
"Who's Luffy?"
At these words, Sanji felt a smile stretch his lips. "Luffy's a guy who walks around with a straw hat on the Grand Line and I've never seen as much raw determination than his own. He drives everyone to achieve their goals without even noticing it," he explained to her, a hint of pride in his voice. "He also has such an appetite that all the services at All Blue pale in comparison," he laughed afterwards.
"Oh, is that why you were a chef with him? To train?" Amy asked, impressed.
"Among other reasons," the blond approved, "I wanted to find the All Blue and that's why I accompanied him so it's thanks to him that I got here."
"Where is he now?" The young girl inquired, her eyes shining with curiosity.
"In the New World, with the rest of my crew."
"I'd like to meet him!" She got enthused. "He looks funny and nice!"
Sanji nodded again, placing another cigarette between his lips. "You'll hear about him in the next few years at least," he assured her. "You know, he's the one who'll become the King of the Pirates."
"The King of the Pirates? Wow, he must be really strong then!" She realized, her eyes wide.
"He is, but he still has a lot of trials to face to reach his dream," the cook affirmed.
"Then it's decided, I have to meet Usopp and Luffy! That way, I'll find my dream too!"
Sanji nodded, a smile on his lips, and he lit his cigarette to enjoy the now relaxed atmosphere. He then glanced at the young girl who was observing the horizon with determination. "So, what else would you like to try other than cooking, Amy?"
She focused for a moment, her eyes fixed on the ocean. "I don't know… Maybe fishing or underwater exploration? Lily says there's a whole unknown world under the sea and besides, I like the All Blue."
At these words, Sanji took a drag on his cigarette butt as his smile widened. "I told you you couldn't disappoint me."
"I really feel like an asshole…"
Sanji tightened his grip on his cigarette butt between his teeth as he collected the plates scattered on the table. Her good mood restored, he had escorted Amy back to the beach and sent her to get ready for evening service after the fishermen had set sail a few minutes earlier. The place was now deserted and Liam handed him the cutlery he had picked up.
"You couldn't have known, she did everything so that we didn't see anything."
The blond shook his head as he grabbed the now empty cake plate. "I should have noticed. Instead, she's been forcing herself to learn all these techniques for weeks!"
"She can impress her friends with her pastry skills now." The scientist tried to cheer him up but Sanji suddenly sighed heavily and the dark-haired man looked questioningly at him. "What's the matter?"
"I have the impression that everything is slipping through my fingers," the cook admitted with a gloomy face. "First Sam and Lily and now, Amy. I'm sure even that idiot Zeff noticed and that's why he wasn't getting involved with her…" The blond bit his lip then, clearly furious with himself. "The moment I realized that Lily had other plans than to stay on All Blue all her life, I decided I'd be more attentive but when you see what just happened with Amy, it's not exactly a success…"
"She looked much better when you came back," Liam pointed out.
"Yeah but… I could have spared her the trouble. She was afraid to tell me because she knew I wasn't really willing to listen to her."
"You were preoccupied with something else and you weren't in the mood," the dark-haired man reminded him.
"This is no excuse to miss the point," the cook got annoyed and Liam shook his head. "Hey, stop blaming yourself every moment. You can't control everything."
"I know but that doesn't stop me from trying," the blond replied with irony while resuming clearing the table.
"Nobody asks you to be perfect," the scientist insisted, "I'm not asking you to be anyway." He then lowered his eyes and it was Sanji's turn to look up at him, intrigued. "To me, you almost already are so it wouldn't make sense", Liam admitted afterwards, avoiding the blond's gaze and his cheeks flushing.
The cook raised an eyebrow in front of the scientist's obvious embarrassment, amused, and grabbed the pile of dirty plates he had piled up. "Sam could take advice from you for Lily, you know."
"Really? I'm not sure I'm very good at this though," the man muttered, handing him the cutlery and still clearly embarrassed.
The blond smirked in return. "Nobody asks you to be perfect, Liam."
This is kind of a special chapter because I wanted to mention this quest for the absolute that moves the crew towards their objectives. Luffy's character in particular has always fascinated me as much as it gets me thinking. Why do some people know from day one what they want to do when others spend their life wondering about their place in the world?
Of course, I didn't wanna write a philosophical essay, but I found it interesting enough and wanted to address it thanks to Amy's character.
I hope you enjoy it!
