A/N: Possible TW because Buffy is still healing from her time with Angelus and will have some flashbacks and backslides.
"It's nothing bad, well, at least I don't think it is. But the watcher didn't want to tell you and I didn't want to hide anything from you. It's about your origins, or the Slayer's leastways."
"Giles didn't want to tell me?" She asked in a small voice.
"I don't think he wanted to hide anything from you, it's just you didn't want to talk about it when I brought it up a few days ago. Hell, for all I bloody know he's right but I don't wanna lie to you, and I would have been if I didn't tell you because it's what we were talking about in the kitchen. So I'll leave it up to you, do you want to know?"
Buffy didn't honestly know, she was fine the way things are right now. Then again, she was no coward. "Okay, tell me."
"The first Slayer was made by using magic to give her the essence of a vampire," he said simply.
She was quiet for a long time, looking off somewhere behind him over his shoulder, and Spike was starting to get worried. Finally, she looked back at him. "Makes sense."
"You alright, pet?"
"Yeah, I think so. It's a lot to take in but like I said, it makes sense, there's a reason I feel when vampires are near and not every demon. It's not like it changes anything. I'm the same person I've always been."
Spike breathed a sigh of relief. 'Thank bloody Christ.'
"Yeah, that's how I see it too. Right then, I s'pose it's time Lawson and I head out to find the building for the minions, then tomorrow I can round them up. This could be over soon, luv," he said softly while he walked up to her, cupped her face, and used his thumb to rub her cheek.
"Oh yes please, I need this to be over as soon as possible. I can't be responsible for any more women that look like me dying by that psycho's hand."
"It's not your fault, kitten. He's a big boy, he's the only one responsible."
"True as that may be, it's still my responsibility to dust him, and every person that dies until I kill him is still on me." She said sadly, with an undertone of resignation. Spike knew there was nothing he could say to change his girl's mind. He hated it, but she held the weight of the world on those pretty little shoulders.
"Alright kitten, we'll just have to agree to disagree on this one. I best be going, though. Got to go out and do my part to save the bloody world again," he said with a wolfish smile, and she couldn't help but laugh. It made his smile turn softer. "There. Knew I could get you to smile," he said, then kissed her.
After thoroughly enjoying the smoochies, she pulled away. "Wait, maybe it'd be smarter to keep Sam hidden, in case you run into Angelus. Maybe me and you should go out."
"Yeah, that might be smart. Like I said, sweetheart, I'm following your lead here. However you want to play this, I'll back you."
She smiled sweetly at him, "Okay then, better safe than sorry. Let's keep Sam hidden."
"Right then, let's go inside and let your fan club know."
She just rolled her eyes and walked inside.
"Ready to hit the road, Chief?"
"Change of plans, mate. You'll stay behind, 'cause we don't want Angelus to know you're around, and he has people all over town."
Lawson just shrugged. He was a go-with-the-flow kinda guy and knew this wasn't his fight. He was just a soldier. He was good at being a soldier, it was what he was trained to do. He kinda missed it, and if it was okay with Spike, he might ask to stick around for a while.
"That's actually a very good point, I should have thought of that," said Giles, mad at his short-sightedness.
"Don't worry about it Giles, that's part of why we're a great team. We always work together to get what we need done."
"Quite right, Buffy. Though I shall endeavor to not let it happen again."
"I know, but it's no big deal. Anyway, Spike and I are going to go find a place to hold the minions, then tomorrow he'll go out to make them think he's making a run for master."
"Okay, be careful, you two. Angelus has been quiet the last few days. I'm scared to think what he's working on. Especially because we've taken the weapon right from under his nose."
"Don't worry Giles, we will be."
Giles just nodded his head in answer, and they left. They both had all their enhanced and supernatural senses on full alert because Giles was right, Angelus was definitely up to something. They were both intimately acquainted with his different types of torture and though he had no problem making people wait for his next attack, he had to be mad now. So they doubted they'd be waiting long.
They found an abandoned factory within an hour of leaving so decided to do a patrol before going back to Giles's. There wasn't much out, though—the evil of the Hellmouth always seemed to know when something big was going to happen and it made them stay inside and away from trouble. Buffy was happy for the slack since that gave her time to focus strictly on Angelus, but she was also antsy from the no stakeage and no real workout.
"Wanna spar, luv? You look like you could use the release of tension," he asked in a lascivious tone, clearly thinking there were many better ways of relieving her tension, but he was willing to stay on the moving slow if that was what she needed.
Instead of answering verbally, she threw a punch right to his nose. Spike dodged just in time and gave her a dirty look. He jabbed his fist at her face and the fight began. After a few minutes, Buffy was not wound as tightly and had started to enjoy herself, laughing and quipping. It went on like that for quite some time until finally, Spike sent a roundhouse kick to Buffy's side but she went low and used a sweeping kick on his standing leg to knock him to the ground. Once he was down she jumped on top of him and held a small twig to his heart in lieu of a stake. They were both breathing hard even though he didn't have to.
Buffy dropped the twig and smashed her lips to his. It was a hungry kiss, full of want and need. Spike was surprised but joined in enthusiastically. Their hands were moving over each other's bodies urgently, both lost in the kiss. Buffy was letting out little whimpers and moans. It went on like that for a long time and Buffy thought she might be ready for more.
She was just about to suggest returning to the house because she was worried that Angelus might sneak up on them. When her mind went to Angelus, she had a flashback to when he had her for those nine hellish days, all those things he'd said to her. He'd never touched her inappropriately but told her he was going to. Told her all the things he was planning on doing to her, that he was just waiting for the right time. It made her feel dirty and suddenly, being touched was the last thing she wanted, especially like this. She jumped off and away from Spike, angry at herself because she thought she was past this—she was the Slayer, she's supposed to be stronger than this. She was angry at the situation because she was enjoying her time with Spike and didn't want memories to ruin it, and she was angry at Spike because she'd told him she wanted to go slow and this was not slow. She knew that this was irrational because she was the one about to suggest taking things further, but she was too angry to care at this point.
"Get away from me!"
"Buffy, luv, what's wrong?" He asked while standing up slowly with a confused look on his face, taking a few steps closer to her with his hands up like he was trying to calm a scared animal. Honestly, a scared animal was pretty close to what she was feeling at the moment.
"I said stay away from me!" He immediately stopped walking and somehow looked more confused than before.
"Okay, I'll stay away. Just tell me what's wrong, pet. Did I do something?"
"I just don't want to see or touch you at all, it makes me feel gross! I told you I wanted to go slow but you just couldn't accept that. This isn't going to work, I should have known that from the beginning! This was stupid! I'm going home and don't you dare follow me or there will be a stake with your name on it! I mean it, Spike, I want nothing to do with you!"
"Buffy, what the bloody buggering fuck is going on? I haven't done anything, I've just been following your lead. What do you mean 'this isn't going to work'?"
"I mean us! It was stupid to try! I'm the slayer and you're just a soulless evil murderer!" she said and ran away.
"What the fuck is her problem?" he said to himself, standing there watching her run off.
He didn't get it, he didn't know what had gone wrong. He wasn't pushing her, was he? There was no reason for her to act like that. On top of that, just end it when she got upset? That's not what a relationship was, you were supposed to stay and try to work things out. She was too young. He didn't know what he was thinking. Yeah, he loved her but she obviously couldn't handle an adult relationship. She was right, they were stupid to try in the first place.
'The bitch called me gross, fuck this. What am I even doing here? What am I doing, just playing at being the Slayer's leashed dog? So all she has to do is point me at an enemy for me to attack, and pet me every once in a while to get me to stay? I'm William the soddin' Bloody, Slayer of Slayers, one of the youngest vampires to get the master title. I don't need this bollocks, especially just for a piece of ass that keeps playing hot and cold. Lawson is here, they don't need me. I'm going to get my gem and get the fuck out of here and stick my prick in as many quims as needed until I forget the bint and her golden shampoo commercial hair.'
"Bitch!" He screamed out in the middle of an empty street.
He was making his way to the Bronze so he could feed for real and let the demon out to play. He knew that once he did that, whatever he had here would be well and truly over. She wouldn't be able to trust him if every time they fought he went out and killed someone. So that's what he decided he had to do, to close this barmy chapter of his life forever. Once he got to the Bronze, he walked up to the bar and shouldered some steroid jock out of the way so he'd be next to be served.
"Hey, eighties reject! Say sorry or I'll take you out back and fuck you up till you are," the jock said aggressively and tried to grab Spike's shoulder to spin him around. Spike let himself be turned but switched into game face as he did. The git backed up with his hands up in surrender. "Sorry man, go first, I'll wait."
"That's what I thought. In fact, for wasting my time, how 'bout you buy me a round in apology?"
"Sure man, that sounds like a great idea," the guy stuttered, but instead of going up to the bar, he opened his wallet and gave Spike all the cash he had.
"Ta mate, appreciate it," said Spike and turned back to the bar. He looked down at the money and smiled, it felt good to not have to constantly suppress his urges and this would be enough to keep him drinking all night. "Most expensive scotch you have, double."
Once he had his drink, and two more refills, he looked around to find his prey. There was a beautiful, petite, blonde girl with nice curves who caught his interest before he shook his head in disgust because she only interested him because of her resemblance to Buffy. The next girl he found was tall, leggy, and beautiful. That was the one. He had all intentions of seducing her first but when he got outside with her, it just felt wrong, even though Buffy had ended it between them.
He bit into her and started drinking hard and fast, with his hand over her mouth to muffle her screams. Her fear made her blood taste better and his demon reveled in it. He felt her pulse slow down and knew she was going to die soon. He felt her struggles grow weaker until they stopped. He saw in her eyes that she'd accepted she was about to die. The problem was, he kept picturing Buffy's face filled with hurt and disappointment.
He mentally shoved that thought away because it didn't matter anymore—she wanted nothing to do with him. All of him loved her, however, including his demon, so even though he wanted to keep going, his demon receded. He let go of the woman's neck and went back to his human face. She was weak but she was still alive.
"Th-thank y-you," she said shakily once she realized she was getting out of the situation alive.
He went back into his game face and growled menacingly at her. He didn't give a shit about her. She ran away as fast as she could on her wobbly feet.
"Fuck!" he screamed into the night. He had no idea what the hell he was going to do now if he couldn't act like a real demon and he couldn't be with her.
