TW: MENTION OF ABUSE
SCHROEDER'S POV
I didn't even know where to start. I was sitting at my piano looking down at the keys. It all used to come so natural to me. What's going on?
There's been so much on my mind recently. Dating Sally, getting over Lucy, switching schools, the status of Linus and Sally, Linus and Sally. It was definite that there was a spark that never left them, I think the worst part is, as her boyfriend I genuinely don't care. I know she went over without me, and they're probably making out right now. But why don't I care? Why do I feel like they should be together? Why am I rooting for them?
Then there's Lucy. She's so amazing, exasperating, beautiful. I could go on and on talking about her features in discrete detail, but why? Was I not over her yet? That shouldn't have even been a question, I already knew I wasn't. I know what I had done was wrong, but I still want her back. And knowing that it'll never be hers again breaks me.
I shake my head out of my train of thought and continue to look down at the keys. I was trying to think of something to play. Most of the time I just place my fingers on the keys and something would come to mind, nothing, there was nothing. I groaned as I rubbed my forehead with my hand. A knock on the door interrupted my frustration. It wasn't Lucy, Lucy always barges in. Lucy was the only one I wanted to see right now. I wanted to see her, I wanted her to tell me she forgave me and we would be together again, just like that. I didn't want to answer the door. But I still do, I'm upset, not a bad person.
I open the door to find Sally looking up at me. Sally doesn't come by much. Most of the time we'd just sit down and talk, with a lot of forced kisses in between. I wasn't in the mood. "Sally I don't really feel like-"
"I just want to talk." She interrupts me and we sit down on the couch, she looks deep into my eyes. She's never done anything like that before. "I thought this would be beneficial, but it's not. This relationship is hurting a lot more people than it is helping. We have to break up." I could see a patch of guilt mixed in with sorrow as she was talking. There was something else. "What happened over a the Van Pelt's house?"
Sally swallowed looking down at her shoes. I could see a tear fall down her face. Once she looked back at me even more tears rushed down her. "I'm sorry Schroeder! I messed up and I-" gave her a reassuring smile that interrupts her speech. "It's ok Sally. Love is very fickle. And your heart chose Linus for a very specific reason. You two have a spark that no one can ignore." Her face lit up and matched my smile. Her tears were slowly vanishing. "Schroeder? Lucy is really hurting right now. She needs you. She still wants you." I looked back at her.
Lucy? Lucy hurting? Lucy doesn't show weakness. It's unlike her. What's happening? There was so many more questions swirling around my mind. Before I could acknowledge most of them Lucy barged in. I stood up and walked towards her. She didn't see Sally as her eyes were engulfed with tears. "Schroeder I'm not doing great today. Can you play Moonlight Sonata?" Lucy walked towards me and I pulled her into my arms. Once Lucy left the doorway Sally escaped the house.
She looked up at me teary eyed. She looked so pained, it broke me. I wiped her tears away one by one. "How about we talk about it this time?" I pulled her along to take a seat but she stopped me. "N-no. I can't." I looked at her and raised my eyebrow.
"Of course you can. You can tell me anything." Lucy sniffled making eye contact with me. "You don't understand. You can't understand." What was she talking about? I hope she knows that I will not be giving up. "Try me." I walked her the rest of the way and she sat down next to me.
She looked at me hesitantly. I gave her a reassuring smile. The same one that calmed Sally. It helped her. "It's um- it's about you."
"Me?" I look at her skeptically and she looked down at her lap anxiously. I place my hand on her back and looked back at her. She collects herself and continues. "I think it's you. You and Sally." I was afraid she'd say that. She doesn't stop. "It hurt me. Why did it hurt me? We are over. I know we are over. So why did that hurt me? Why am I coming to you? Why do I keep coming back to you? Why can't I leave? Why do you take me back? Why-" I stop her train of thought she was expressing out loud.
"Maybe you were never ready to leave? I know I wasn't." She looks at me. She looked a little puzzled, but I knew she understood what I was saying. "Lucy love is a very complex, a phenomenon you can never explain. Maybe that's the answer to your questions." She knitted her eyebrows and nodded. "Is it ok if I love you after everything?" She asked. She looked hopeful yet doubting. Loving yet showing off hatred. An expression that could never be read.
"Is it ok if I never stopped?" Once I said that her breathing stopped. She stared at me stunned. Either horrified or happy. She began to breathe again still looking at me shocked. She was speechless, and honestly so was I. We made meaningful eye contact. I couldn't describe her expression if I tried. There were so many feelings flowing through the both of us.
After a while Lucy smiled and brought her eyebrows closer. She pulled me into a tight hug. I quickly reciprocate as I look down at her head. "The top of your head is cute." She looked up at me and laughed. It was something she used to tell me all the time in our early years. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me. I kissed her back and caressed her cheek.
Was this heaven? Logically, no. But it was a close second. At this very moment, she was all I ever needed, all I ever wanted. All I knew was that Lucy was here, and I loved her. And that was all I wanted to know. This was my happy place. With her.
LINUS' POV
I was sitting on my bed. Once Sally left I hadn't moved. I didn't really know what was going on. I couldn't process. Sally still loves me? She's breaking up with Schroeder? Why was I happy about that. We aren't going to date. Nothing is going to happen. Right?
I failed to realize I was sitting there for an hour. I was zoned out for an hour. Wow.
I heard a knock on the door, it helped me finally return to earth. I open the door to find Sally at the doorway. She had a grin on her face. "Schroeder and I are fine. And your sister quickly replaced me." She elbowed me as she said the last part and walked in. "That's why she left?"
"Well actually when I left she was still crying but I'm sure that-" I quickly interrupted her jerking my head to stare at her. "What!?" I quickly try to leave before I could walk out the doorway Sally grabbed my hand. "They are fine. Trust me." I didn't think they were fine. But I did trust Sally, more than anything. So I'm willing to brush it off. I wouldn't want to interrupt their...whatever.
"Now come on there's so much I need to tell you!"
Apparently while I was gone a lot had happened. Gossip I guess? Sally always knows all of the drama in school. She's really good at sticking her nose into other people's business. I can normally keep up by simply observing. But now that I'm home for a month I'm completely clueless to all of it.
She had a lot to tell. Apparently Patty ended her year long relationship with Pig Pen because she caught him cheating on her with Violet. Ouch, I though they were best friends. And Shermy has been taking this opportunity to get with Patty, but she wants to grieve right now so she keeps blowing him off. Pig Pen and Violet are officially dating which only makes Patty feel worse. And also Frieda and Franklin are dating now, which is tearing Marcie apart because she always thought they had something but I guess Franklin never felt the same way? God this is confusing.
"Oh and Eudora is planning to ask you out." Sally finished. "Wait what!?" Sally shrugged looking at me. I was disgusted. Eudora was a waste of time, I didn't like her. We briefly dated for like 3 days? I can't even remember, I've been doing whatever I can to block that memory. Sally expression changed as she looks further into my eyes. "So are you going to do it?"
"Do what?"
"Date her." Sally frowned avoiding eye contact with me. I chuckled wrapping my arm around her. "Yes of course I would date her. Im so hopelessly in love with Eudora I could never live without her." I teased. She finally faced me and laughed. The small smile on her face quickly faded. "Why did you date her?" Her eyes had a small shimmer indicating they were forming tears. I smiled back at her. "When I was younger I blocked out whatever feeling I had ever had for you. I thought it was wrong to like you. But Eudora was practically just a wannabe Sally, a clone of if you will. So when I knew she liked me I found it as a loophole, like as if I was dating you. But alas, she is not you and never will be. So I broke up with her." After I finished my sentence I noticed a gleam in her eye, and sense of happiness.
"So your saying you loved me since we were kids? But you tried not to?" When you say it out loud it sounds kind of funny. I wrapped my other hand around her and pulled her closer. "I always thought you would get the wrong idea if I said I liked being around you, and I liked to hear your voice. But I guess it was never the wrong idea in the first place."
I could see I tear run down her cheek. I quickly wipe it looking back at her. "Are you ok? I'm sorry if I-" She laughed interrupting my worried sentence. "Happy tears, and the fact I just realized I had cried about you all those years for no reason." She buried her head into my chest. Here. Right here, is where I want to stay forever.
But it did not last even close to forever since Sally's phone began to buzz in her side pocket. I reached one of my arms to take it out. "It's your dad Sally." She jerked up with a horrified look on her face. She took the phone and left the room. I couldn't hear what either of them were saying.
After a short while Sally came back. She was crying. These were not happy tears. I run over to her and pull her close. "What happened Sally?!" Sally choked back tears as she tries to answer. "My mom- she's dying." No. "She's bedridden. Once she's gone, he's- he's coming back." Sally was at her complete worst. She was frozen, she wasn't breathing. The tears in her eyes fell faster than I could blink. She was a wreck. I ran over and wrapped my arms around her. "Breathe Sally, breathe." I could feel tears running down my cheeks, it was more serious than me just crying because I saw her cry. This was really bad.
From what Sally told me the main talk of the local middle school for 8th grade was about the kiss Sally and I shared the summer before. It was an awkward encounter. I couldn't recall what we were talking about. But I kissed her, and she kissed me. That's all I knew. I didn't think I liked her at the time, I just figured to get my first kiss out of the way. But when she came home her father found out. Her father had never liked Sally, he always thought of her as a failure for just being a girl, he had a very closed mind and a rather sexist one too. When he learned she had her first kiss, he thought of his daughter as a slut, someone who would never accomplish anything besides receiving a boy's affection. He would often hit her late at night. And no one would ever know. When he was done with her Sally would come over to my house, through my window. I'd patch up her wounds and she would stay the night.
No one ever thought to notice the excessive amounts of bandages on her skin or the bruises that hadn't quite vanished, if she told anyone she was threatened to be hurt more often or possibly killed. If I told anyone, I'd lose her.
"But you live at Frieda's condo, so it's fine right?" Sally shook her head while the tears on her face deep through her skin. "He's making me go back. I don't want to go back Linus, I can't!" She looked down at her arm which had a large scar on it. A scar no bandage could cover. It was from the winter of 8th grade when she came home a knife flew right against her arm thrown by her father. I remember it like it was yesterday. I spent hours using up tissues and holding them over the wound. I covered the old scar with my hand looking back up at her. "I'll help you through this Sally. You are welcome at any time of the day." She hugged me tight enough to stop my breathing. I could sense gallons of fear running through her veins. I hugged her back holding her head that was rested on my shoulder.
"If anything happens, I love you." She looked up at me with big shining eyes. Her sentence only made more tears rush down my face. "I love you too, that will never change. Remember you're safe with me." She nods and buries her head into my chest. We stayed like that for a while.
