WARNING: YOU MAY WANT TO READ THIS DURING THE DAY IT MAY GIVE YOU NIGHTMARES

This takes place during the episode 'Big Man on a Little Stick'

SOMETHING'S GOT HIS TONGUE

Duke had wanted to go on a hike to give his legs a workout but The Skipper talked him out of it.

"Now Captain Pops!" Duke replies as Skipper sighs and rolls his eyes. "Me and the joes were always hotdogging through narly turf to get to the big salty splash. The Duke can catch whatever's thrown my way."

After several minutes of back and forth Skipper got him to settle on walking along the coast with him. Along the way Skipper collected firewood while Duke did kneeling step ups, hopped up and down on rocks, and did the occasional handstand. Eventually Duke began to collect firewood as well.

After a few hours they eventually reached the path that overlooked the lagoon. The Skipper wiped his forehead with the back of his sleeve as they turned and saw Gilligan fishing at the water's edge. They heard him cheer as something hooked the line.

"Oh hey Irving!" Gilligan replied as Skipper and Duke dropped the firewood by a tree.

"Who's Irving?" Duke whispered but Skipper just shook his head.

"HEY PROFESSOR, SKIPPER COME QUICK!" Gilligan exclaimed.

"What's wrong Gilligan?" The Professor asked as Skipper and Duke walked up.

"It looks like something has Irving's tongue!" Gilligan replied as he handed Irving to the Professor.

"Oh my um!" The Professor replied as he looked inside Irving's mouth.

There was a pale bug-like creature with a triangular head and beady looking eyes clinging to Irving's shriveled up tongue.

Duke covered his mouth and looked away. The Professor looked at the Skipper who just shrugged.

"I'm sorry I'm not sure how to get that out of him." The Professor whispered.

"Um I have these clamps with me!" Duke replied as he pulled out some tweezer clamps from his pocket.

"Why do you have those?" Gilligan replied as the Professor took them.

Duke looked at the Skipper who shook his head.

"Me and my joes were working with some um uh herbs before I left." Duke replied as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry for the smell. They uh fell in a skunk den."

Skipper rolled his eyes as Gilligan held onto Irving as the Professor opened his mouth and stuck the clamps inside. After a few seconds the Professor pulled the thing out.

"What is it Teach?" Duke replied behind his hand. "It looks like a shrimp lobster roly poly bug!"

"Yes I do believe it's in the same family as the lobster!" The Professor replied as he wrapped it up in a handkerchief and gave the clamps back to Duke. "Oh! Oh Gilligan what's wrong?"

Gilligan pulled his hat over his eyes and shook his head.

"Awe Little Buddy I'm so sorry!" The Skipper replied placing a hand on his shoulder. "How about we have a little funeral for him?"

"Um. . .!" Duke began to say but Skipper gave him a dirty look.

0o0o0o0o

"Ah Your Highness!" Mr. Howell replied as Duke entered the clearing.

"Yeah man!" Duke replied as he spotted Mary Ann by the table. She looked up and smiled at him. He smiled and winked at her.

"Have you seen the Skipper?" Mr. Howell asked as he rested his golf club on his shoulder.

"Yeah he's with the Little Man who's having a funeral for a fish at the lagoon!" Duke replied and Mary Ann gasped.

"Oh no Irving died!" Mary Ann replied and took off for the lagoon.

"Man you've guys have been here too long!" Duke replied as he and Mr. Howell watched her go.


A.N. The creature I described is the tongue-eating louse. It's pretty much a parasitic sea insect. If I had to describe it it looks a pale pill bug.

It enters through the gills of a fish cuts off the tongue and clings onto the stub essentially serving as a replacement tongue. Not much is known about its life cycle. Experts don't think it's harmful to humans. It can be found in southern Californian waters Northern Ecuador waters and parts of the Atlantic.

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