"You do everything right in life. Play by all the rules and still get sent down here with all the Hitlers and Epsteins of the world", narrated a female demon as she recounted her life as a former human who was betrayed by her cheating husband. In a fit of rage she massacred him and tried to kill his lover unaware that she did it in front of her grade school children. After realizing what she had done, she committed suicide in front of her children forcing her soul to end up in hell for her sin.

The sinner demon had a curvy body with modest perky D-cup breasts, slim waist, and about the same height as Blitzo. She had violet skin, pointy ears, red sclera with small slit yellow pupils, all while grinding her sharp yellow teeth in anger and frustration. Her once human feet had been replaced with goat like hooves, goat like purple horns, and her once golden blonde hair had changed to a pale white held back with a black scarf-like scrunchy, a dark pink shirt with stitch markings, and a upside down tear shape red pendant with a golden tip. She paced around the room making her black torn skirt occasionally flutter making her pink earrings occasionally sparkle in the light of the dim room while adjusting her pink frame glasses.

Blitzo was sitting in his office chair looking bored as the once-human soul turned demon paced around the room.

"After one measly massacre propelled by blind rage. So that's why I'm here. To get my revenge", said the female demon as he turned around holding a cigarette in her hand, "My one regret is my poor students seeing their beloved Mrs. Mayberry acting like that."

"I mean, was she hotter?" asked Blitzo, not really caring, making the turned female demon look at him confusingly.

"I'm just saying I had a hard time understanding the unprompted melodrama you just spat at me", said Blitzo not really caring.

"Anyway, I don't think you quite understand how we're operating down here", said Blitzo standing up with Mrs. Mayberry glaring at him.

"See, we take revenge out on the living, and it sounds like the core cast of your sitcom of death frankly are all probably down here in Hell with you. Boop", said Blitzo touching her nose while the female demon clenched her fist in anger with a red aura glowing around her once again.

"Not all of them. That whore survived. Now they all call her a hero", growled Mrs. Mayberry.

Human World Hospital

A bandaged blonde woman recovering in a hospital bed could be seen being surrounded by colorful bouquets of flowers with her two children and husband by her bedside.

"Martha, you miraculously survived a gunshot to the head. How does it feel to have survived such a crazy bitch?" asked a human reporter.

"I just hope that sick woman finally found peace", said the bandaged woman.

"You are so brave. Here's two million dollars!" said the reporter, giving the woman and her family a golden check moving slowly towards her.

"Oh, thank you!" said the woman innocently as she smiled while taking pictures with her husband.

Line Break

"Between the talk shows and the donation bullshit, she made so much goddamn cash. Getting shot was the best thing to happen to her!" growled Mrs. Mayberry cracking her fist in anger.

Human World Various Locations

"You're a hero!" yelled a reporter to Martha during an interview.

"You're a hero, girl!" said a woman jogger running next to Martha.

"My mama's a hero!" said Martha's son to a cashier in the supermarket.

"She is a hero!" said the cashier.

Grunt "You're a hero!" grunted Martha's husband Ralphie as the couple had sex in their bedroom.

"You're a hero!" said an elderly priest during mass next to Martha.

"You're a hero!" said Mrs. Mayberry's class to Martha standing next to their new teacher.

Grunt "You're a hero!" grunted a strange man giving Martha anal sex.

Line Break

Mayberry bashed her fists into the ground, creating cracks. "She's not a hero!" Mayberry yelled, getting in close to Blitzo's face.

"Yeah, okay, yeah, my thoughts exactly," Blitzo stuttered in a rapid nervous voice. He frantically pressed a red button under the desk multiple times.

Outside Blitzo's Office

The red light flashed under the "Deranged Client" label on a dashboard. The other labels read, "More Coffee," "Soiled My Pants," "Horny Client," "Client Giving Birth," "Ghost," and "Stolas." were next to the flashing light as Moxxie and Millie had explained to Y/N how Blitzo loved to press buttons under his desk for no reason sometimes.

Moxie's arms were shaking as the pointer hovered around the human man's crotch, feeling anxious since he didn't like aiming towards families.

"Moxxie, stop shaking. You're gonna shoot our only hellhound!" said Millie.

"Wow, I feel so loved here", said Loona in a bored tone holding up the pic away from her body.

"Just take a deep breath, inhale And let it out", said Millie exhaling loudly.

"But, it's a family. Under what circumstances would we ever need to kill a human family?"

"I mean, if that's what the client wants", said Millie.

"Maybe like a shitty dad, or a mob family", said Moxxie when he started speaking in a stereotypical Italian accent, "That's understandable"

"But to eradicate an entire innocent-"

"Seemingly innocent in this instance since we don't know the circumstances", interrupted Y/N.

"Right, right, thank you. To eradicate a seemingly innocent upper middle class family bloodline?" said Moxxie in his normal tone.

"Hey! You don't know they're innocent. This kid probably sets dogs on fire. Maybe this girl gets off to bullying Australian kids online. And this guy…this guy definitely watches", said Loona in a hushed tone near the end.

"Wow that was rather…specific", said Y/N sitting in an adjacent couch next to Blitz's office door where he could hear some kind of commotion inside, "Does he also spy on…"

"Don't know, don't want to know, and don't care. Just shoot the damn target butterball", said Loona lying down once again.

"Exactly. Humans are full of secret nasties. It's why so many of them end up here", said Millie in a cheery tone.

"But…"

"Guilty and innocent aren't our business, Mox '', said Millie squishing her husband's cheeks, "Killing those who were paid is our business. Choose a target", encouraged Millie to kiss her husband's cheek.

Moxxie lifted up his crossbow still nervously shaking until he set it down, "I just think it's a bit excessive and we could be a bit more selective, is all."

BANG

"Guys! I want you to meet-"

Clang

A startled Moxxie accidentally fires his arrow ricocheting around the room just as Blitzo slammed his door open to introduce their new client. Millie jumps into Moxxie's arms as the arrow hits a computer. The arrow then flies and creates a hole in the family picture that a stunned Loona was holding. The arrow hits the bottom of a tank with eels and the tank starts to wobble dangerously. The arrow flies toward Mrs. Mayberry, but Y/N catches it with one hand, "Are you alright miss?"

Mrs. Mayberry blushed at his appearance feeling a bit flustered seeing a heart-shaped aura around him as she started mumbling nonsense.

"Our newest…client", trailed off Blitzo snapping his fingers in front of her face not making her flinch from her stupor while Y/N waved his hand in front of her face.

"I think she's stunned", said Y/N using his tail to hold the wobbling eel tank.

"Uh…" droned out Y/N unaware of the eel tank suddenly falling down spilling glass and water all over the floor. The eels squirmed and splashed on the carpet when they suddenly burst into electricity setting the room on fire.

"Dammit, Moxxie! I just bought those eels!" yelled Blitzo angrily.

"What?!" yelled Moxxie in shock when the ceiling started to cave in.

Y/N summoned a magic circle with a four pointed star in the middle, and two circular runes circling around it. The outer circle rotated clockwise, while the inner circle rotated counterclockwise. Y/N reached in pulling a black sheathed katana with a silver tsuba and guard, a matching silver pommel, and black wrapping around the handle. He unsheathed the blade making the blade shine brightly in a white-blue color as he sent out an aerial slash cutting the door in half. He carried Mrs. Mayberry in a bridal position, and wrapped his tail around Loona's waist holding her close to him draping her with his leather jacket as a cover, as he charged towards the exit with the imps following close behind.

Some Time Later

Outside the building, imp firefighters carry the eels away and head into a red fire truck. Mrs. Mayberry was still blushing and giggling like a schoolgirl with a crush as she clumsily got into a yellow taxi cab and drove off while Blitzo was waving goodbye.

"Bye and don't worry! We'll get that skank in less than twenty-four hours or your first kill is free!" yelled out Blitzo while Y/N, Millie, and Moxxie were slightly singed from the fire. Y/N put out some fires on his shirt while he wiped the blade of his katana with a cloth using his tail.

"When did we start implementing that deal?" asked a confused Moxxie only for Blitzo to glare at him.

"When you set fire to my office in front of a CLIENT, you fucking dipshit!" yelled Blitzo grabbing Moxxie's face before shoving him away, "Now someone please tell me that fancy book is still intact!"

'Cough' "Well that was something." 'Cough' coughed out Y/N as he blew out some smoke he inhaled. Despite the small injuries he received, he was at least thankful he was able to spare Loona and their new client any injury caused by the inferno. He looked behind him when he noticed a large billboard with Blitzo's face on it having a lot of misspelled words.

The Billboard read the following: "Goat an asshole in the living world!? Come to I Am Pee!? Make sure you put this sign up on the right side. Don't fuck this up. Also payment may take a couple of weeks because it cums in the mail. –Speech to text- -Blitzo-"

"You mean our only ticket to the other side? Yeah, I got it", said Loona texting on her phone while wearing Y/N's leather jacket taking out the grimoire from behind her.

"And that's why you're my favorite, Loonie. You get a tweat now!" said Blitzo in a baby voice as he held up a doggie treat to her.

"Ew. Stop", said Loona looking at the treat in disgust. Blitzo shrugged his shoulders as he threw the treat into the air and caught it with his tongue, like a frog before eating it, making Loona cringe even more, "You're so gross!"

Millie was drawing a circle with chalk on the wall until it glowed red creating a portal to the human world.

"I swear you're doing this on purpose", muttered Y/N.

"Aw, stop it. I get enough of that from my therapist", said Blitzo in a bashful tone making Moxxie roll his eyes. Blitzo puts his hand on Moxxie's face, who struggles to walk to Millie, and shoved him in the portal, "Now, let's go lick some ass!"

"The expression is 'kick some ass' Blitz", said Millie snapping her fingers at Blitzo as she walks through the portal.

"Mine's better", said Blitzo walking through the portal.

"Let's go best buddy, time's a-wastin, and you can put that huge katana to use!", said Blitzo pulling him in using his tail.

"Aw fuck…" sighed Moxxie on the floor after noticing Y/N being pulled by Blitzo.

"I know how you feel", sighed Y/N hitting several rocks, "Ow! Easy on the rocks!"

All three imps and hound stood in front of a small red house by the lake as the sun set. Blitzo and Moxxie lean against the side of the house, rising from bushes to peer inside the window while Y/N sat next to them.

"Me?" asked a pleasantly surprised Moxxie.

"Yeah, this one's simple enough for you to handle", said Blitzo as Moxxie stands up and peers through the window when his faces' falls as he looks at the family having dinner, "It's just a happy mother who just got out of the hospital."

Martha and Ralphie affectionately rub each other's noses as she set the table with her children waiting patiently for dinner making Moxxie hesitant, "I-you-he-but-I-"

"You snooze, you lose, Mox!" said Blitzo grabbing the rifle as he took aim at Martha's head, "And I've got you, bitch."

"Wait, are we actually killing a family?!" asked a concerned Moxxie.

"No, no, don't be a puss. We're just killing a mother. We're ruining a family", said Blitzo positioning his rifle.

"But… hold on hold on, let's just think about it" said Moxxie lifting up the rifle just as Blitzo fired hitting a glass mirror inside the house alerting the four family members.

"What the fuck was that, Moxxie?!" yelled Blitzo while Moxxie was breathing heavily in the middle of a panic attack.

"Um, Guys?" said Y/N peeking inside, noticing something strange about this family.

"I'm sorry. They just seemed so wholesome and happy", said Moxxie trying to control his nerves.

"Guys", said Y/N once again while the two imps continued to ignore him.

"Look, I panicked, they're innocent", said Moxxie with tears in his eyes causing Blitzo to facepalm as his explanation.

"Oh, who the fuck is innocent, Moxxie? From the moment of birth, you're already a parasite leeching off your momma's tits' ', yelled Blitzo poking Moxxie's head.

"GUYS!" yelled Y/N seeing the family take out shotguns while having sinister smiles on their faces.

"WHAT?!" yelled an irritated Blitzo.

"DUCK!" yelled Y/N tackling them both to the ground.

BLAST

Aah "A new hole! Bodyguard! Sic'em!" ordered Blitzo being grazed by a shotgun pellet.

Part of the wall explodes revealing Ralphie and Martha grinning evilly. Y/N was grazed on his back by debris. Y/N lifted up the plank on top of him as the imps ran in different directions with Martha chasing after Blitzo. Ralphie was about to chase after Millie when Y/N pushed the debris off him and pushed Ralphie as well making him miss Millie by several inches.

"Well, well, aren't you a curious critter?" chuckled Ralphie loading his shotgun.

"Funny, I was just about to say the same thing about you", said Y/N readying his katana.

Laugh "You think that dinky little butter knife is gonna stop me?" laughed Ralphie cocking his shotgun.

"Oh, I'm not trying to stop you", said Y/N disappearing from Ralphie's view as he reappeared in front of him unsheathing his sword as he cut the shotgun in two, "I just wanted your gun!"

Y/N swung his sheath and hit Ralphie on the side of his head knocking some teeth loose from his mouth, "Millie! He's wide open!"

"Time to kick some ass!" yelled an excited Millie as she took out a hunting knife jumping over Y/N's shoulder swinging her knife in a slashing arc. Ralphie dodged Millie's attack until she jumped over him, but managed to grab her tail and swung her around like a mace into Y/N. Y/N managed to grab Millie, and gently place her down as he charged at the insane human swinging his sword.

Ralphie smiled insanely effortlessly dodging Y/N's strikes when he grabbed a nearby log blocking his sword, Chuckle "You're fast runt, but you're not much are ya?" chuckled Ralphie as he punched Y/N back knocking him to the ground.

Y/N quickly got up noticing that his katana was stuck on the log he hit when Ralphie walked up to him holding the log over his head, "Nighty night runt." Not noticing Y/N eyes glowing a soft red with commas in his pupils

Wham

"Y/N!" called out Millie noticing a pool of black blood forming around his head. Millie charged at Ralphie once again, determined to end his life to protect her friend.

Ralphie swung his log with tremendous strength and speed just as Millie grabbed Y/N's katana dual wielding both blades. Millie jumped into the air spinning rapidly, slashing the block in half. Ralphie grabbed a nearby ax as he locked blades with the female imp. Ralphie changed his grip putting more force over the small imp as he kept overpowering her, "Once I'm through with you, both you and your dog friend are gonna get it."

"Not if I get you first, you hillbilly reject!" yelled Millie kicking him in the balls making him squeal in a high pitch tone.

"You're mine now!" said Millie excitedly when he suddenly tackled her to the ground and punched her hard until she was knocked out.

Groan "I'll admit…she got me good. Moan My balls", squealed Ralphie in pain in a fetal position covering his nut sacks, "I think one of them popped."

Inside the house

Moxxie opens his eyes and gasps with a squeak to find himself tied to a stitched up dead body in a chair, "What happened? Where am I? Last thing I remember was…"

Moxxie's face falls in fear as he looks at the girl and boy. Both their eyes are red and devious sharp grins form on their faces, "Oh. Well hello there, little ones. Aren't you cute?"

"It's nice to have a new critter to play with", said both children in a creepy tone. Moxxie glances up in fear at a red light above him revealing a severed human head high up with several severed limbs on plaques. The wooden walls are stained with red blood, and two plaques had stitched up faces of skin. A larger plaque displays a dead man with long white hair, arms crossed, eyes and teeth bulging out while his torso was connected to the plaque. A picture frame made of bones reveals another face made of skin inside it with some other human skin tacked to the wall with stitching on it that read 'Bless this house'. Moxxie looks at a table in front of him to see a dead human body on a platter with an apple in the human's mouth, and its organs in a nearby bowl.

"Oh... crumbs", whispered Moxxie.

Forest

Gunshots rang out in the woods while Blitzo dashes through a bush as he hears Martha's evil laughter echoing through the forest. He slides down a hill and catches his breath at the bottom, "Come out, come out, wherever you are. I know you're hurtin' little devil", called out Martha in a singsong voice.

Blitzo takes deep breaths as he leans against a tree. His eyes go wide as he covers his mouth, "Damn it, if I had known my Meat Shield would be used up this quick, I would've hired another one", lowly whispered Blitzo to himself.

"I promise that I can make that pain go real quick. Just come let Mama Martha put a bullet in your pretty little skull!" called out Martha once again as she walked away.

Sigh

AHH

Blitzo sighed in relief before his phone lets out a yelling ringtone. Blitzo pulls out a yellow cell phone clumsily throwing it in the air before he sees who was calling him, "Damnit!"

Beep

"Stolas! This is a really bad time!" whispered Blitzo

"Oh, when isn't it a bad time, Blitzy?" said Stolas.

"What is it?" asked Blitzo frustratingly.

"I've been meaning to follow up on our last little conversation regarding my grimoire?"

"What did you just call me?" asked an angry Blitzo.

"My book, Blitzy. The book I was given to do my job that I have allowed you to use to do yours?" explained Stolas through the phone making Blitzo look bored at the conversation.

Click

Blitzo looks scared as a rifle clicks narrowly missing a bullet that punched a hole through the tree trunk showing Martha smiling evilly through it, "I can hear ya, darling!"

"Shit!" cursed Blitzo as he ran deeper into the woods.

"Any who, I have been thinking. You know, I have been permitting you to access the mortal realm less than legally for quite some time now, but I do need it back to fulfill my duties. I was thinking, what if we worked out some kind of exchange? Favors for favors?"

Bang

"Doesn't that sound… enticing?" continued Stolas while Blitzo continued to dodge bullet after bullet from Martha's shotgun.

Bang

"You gotta stop using your fancy ass rich-people talk and speed this up, okay?! I'm trying to concentrate on not getting fucked in my A!" yelled Blitzo in frustration as he dodged another bullet

"Then let me keep it simple: once a month, on the full moon, you return the book to me, followed by a night of… passionate fornication", said Stolas with a mild hoot in his voice indicating his lust, "And, you get to keep it all the rest of the time, hmm? Sound fair, my little imp?"

Bang

"Fine! Whatever!" said Blitzo.

"Oh, Blitzy! I'm so excited! I cannot wait to feel your slimy c*ck inside of my *. To * the…"

Blitzo simply cringes and closes his eyes as Stolas rambles on about his lust for Blitzo when he was suddenly pinned to the tree by the butt of Martha's shotgun dropping the phone while Stolas continued to talk

"Gotcha! So, you're a little devil, huh? Come to drag me and my kin to Hell? Well, not today, Satan! Gonna send y'all back to where ya came from!" said Martha putting more pressure.

"Actually lady, you just spared me a very awkward conversation", commented Blitzo when she hears the beeps of censored words confusing her as she looked at the discarded phone, then back to him, "It gets weirder than that. At least you don't get fucked in the ass for business."

"You'd be surprise", commented Martha in a bored tone as she hit Blitzo hard with the butt of her gun.

Inside the house

Moxxie struggled to free himself from the rope when looks up and gasps as he sees fires being lit from outside, and a hangman's noose hangs from the wall.

"Millie!"

Both kids stared at Moxxie with wide evil grins as he continued to struggle against his binds. He notices the girl pull out a sharp knife and glares with determination. The girl raises the knife to stab him, but Moxxie pushes the chair backwards, knocking her to the ground freeing himself with the knife. Moxxie breaks through the window holding his gun, and races outside through the forest following some strange red symbols hang from tree branches.

Forest

Moxxie saw a small clearing with rows of torches and some tents. He sees Y/N, Millie, and Blitzo tied to a stake decorated with spikes at the top. Ralphie laughs as he pours gasoline on the ground under their feet with his wife nearby holding a torch. Moxxie saw several bruises on Millie's face, angry for someone hitting his wife and friend.

Sigh "I had that fucking shot. God dammit, Moxxie", groaned Blitzo.

"Satan! We return your filthy creatures back to the pits of Hell!" yelled Martha laughing evilly as she raised her torch while the imps struggled against their binds.

"May the root of evil remain honored as we continue thy work!" yelled Martha once again tossing the torch to the ground igniting the wood as she laughed with flames rising up surrounding the two of them. They closed their eyes expecting something to happen when they noticed that the humans weren't doing anything else.

"Yeah, that's not exactly how it works, lady. Sorry, your fire doesn't actually hurt us, but I mean I could fake it if that'll get your dick hard" said Blitzo smirking.

"Oh…Well, shit. Guess, I'll just shoot you in your smart-ass mouth!" said Martha pulling out her rifle.

"That would be more effective", said a slightly nervous Blitzo.

"Blitzo!" yelled Millie angrily.

Martha laughs evilly again as she aims her rifle as the imps close their eyes.

Bang

Yelp

The imps hear a small yelp as a gunshot is heard when the two imps notice Martha's eye flying from her socket and she collapses to the ground with Moxxie holding his gun behind her.

"Moxxie!" yelled Millie happily as her husband rushes over freeing his friends and hugged his wife.

"You're not getting your goddamn paycheck for this one, Mox!" yelled Blitzo, "And you neither bodyguard!"

"Blitzo!" yelled Millie angrily at her boss again.

"What?! He's supposed to use his giant muscles to save our sorry asses! I have a new hole in my body! And where were you millie said your head was crushed by that guy" Blitzo said

"Well I used an illusion on him and millie and healed myself before I hid and see how yall will handle it" Y/N said

"Sir, need I remind you that he did save us before by tackling us to the ground. Also, it's just a scratch", said Moxxie.

"And this was one of my favorite shirts too", said Y/N looking at the damage done to his clothing.

"Fine, he's getting half only then", said Blitzo pouting as he fell flat on his face when Moxxie untied him.

Millie opens up a portal unaware that Ralphie was shocked over what he was seeing, and trips backwards on Martha's body before fleeing the scene.

Blitzo just stared at him with a deadpan expression as he groaned out loud when Moxxie walked up to him looking sorry.

"I'm sorry, sir. I compromised our objective and put us in harm's way. It won't happen again. I promise", Blitzo looked at him and gave him a small smile as he pulled him into a hug.

"Apology accepted", said Blitzo in a caring tone until he lowly whispered into Moxxie's ear, "But if you ever pull a stunt like this again, I will fuck you and your wife."

"Alrighty! Job well done! Now let's get off", said Blitzo letting go of Moxxie who looked like he was terrified while Millie cheered for a successful job and walked through the portal.

"Do I even want to know?" asked Y/N helping Moxxie up to his feet.

"Trust me you don't", whispered Moxxie before realizing he had some unfinished business to take care of, "Eh, yeah give me a moment. I need to get something I left at the house."

"Okay, fine, but hurry up", said Blitzo, taking out a new phone and started dialing into it, "Loona! We're ready to come home, dear!"

Several minutes have passed when Moxxie arrives at the portal once again, "There he is. Have a good wank-off session, Moxxie?" asked Blitzo excitedly.

"Excuse me?" asked Moxxie confusingly.

"Look, I don't care where you cum in the living world. Just come to your job on time, alright?" said Blitzo, poking Moxxie several times for emphasis.

"See you at the office!" said Blitzo going through the portal.

"You doing okay, sweetie?" asked Millie sweetly to her husband while placing a comforting hand on his cheek.

"Better, now, honey. I think I just needed a minute to process", said Moxxie while Millie touches his chest.

"You have a good heart, honey. Just a fuzzy head", said Millie playfully pinching his nose as both husband and wife smiled lovingly to each other until they let go just as Millie walked through the portal.

"You wanted to make sure her family was taken care of at least, right?" asked Y/N.

"Yeah, I didn't want to leave things like that. Just didn't feel right you know?" said Moxxie feeling a bit proud of his skills when both demons heard the sound of a helicopter and several police cars just outside the house of the humans.

"We got em' boys!" yelled one of the cops over a loudspeaker firing a missile through the roof of the house causing it to explode into a giant inferno. Both of them are stunned at what they just witnessed when something hits Moxxie on the head. They both look down to see what is left of the teddy bear head stunning them both.

"Yo! Slowpokes! Let's go! We have a client to inform about her kill, and we're not getting any younger!" called out Blitzo grabbing Moxxie's neck and Y/N's leg with his tail as he pulls them both through the portal.

I.M.P. Headquarters

Mrs. Mayberry and the imps celebrated their victory with a white banner reading "killed the bitch" in red letters. Loona and Mrs. Mayberry are holding pieces of cake on their plates talking about something while Blitzo has his arm in a sling. Everyone was wearing party hats laughing and cheering, except for Moxxie and Y/N, both sitting there looking distressed over what they witnessed.

"You see my little Mox-Mox! We did it! Oh Moxxie!" said Millie happily hugging her husband.

"Well, here's to another mission accomplished! And Moxxie here finally learned not to fuck up. I'm sure Yak will get it eventually soon!" toasted Blitzo.

"It's Y/N!" Said Y/N snapping him out of his stupor.

"And killing people isn't that big of a deal if they try to kill you back!" said Millie rubbing her husband's head.

"That's messed up. But I paid for it!" laughed Mrs. Mayberry held Y/N's arm a little to tightly while everyone, except for the traumatized pair, laughed at her comment.

"Yeah, fuck that family!" yelled Blitzo happily slamming his drink to the floor.