After a quiet hour, Castiel decides to convince hunter to take another shower. Dean looked like a broken man. The situation with the vampire makes things harder.
C: Dean, you're covered in blood.
D: What?
Forgetting that he had company, hunter felt like someone slapped him in the face, hard. Checking himself out, he saw a flashback of hell. Blood, echoes of screams, and unbearable pain.
D: Shit, shit, shit.
His hands were shaking, and the head was pounding. Clumsily, but steadily, his body was rising. At the same time, he gathered the courage to look angel in the eye.
D: I don't know what got into me, Cas. Based on my memories, you already know I am a killer. I killed my first monster when I was 6 or 7. Since then, I stopped the body count, but I never felt good doing it. Today I was cruel… I feel sick, maybe I'm going to be sick? Oh god, you probably are disgusted by the sight of me.
The elder Winchester began to pace back and forth around the hotel room. Fearing Castiel's opinion.
C: Dean, I won't say that today's events are acceptable. They're not, but I'm not disgusted by you. What you did there. It was unnecessarily violent. I am a soldier, and understand killing to win, to gather key information, and so on, but I believe in quick death. Merciful.
D: If time would be different, I would too. Now I feel that hell, or rather Allister, broke something in me. Something isn't right. I have never enjoy killing in my life, not once. You must believe me.
Approaching his human companion, Castiel decided to propose something he had never done in all the existence. C: I believe you. I can detect when someone isn't truthful. And you are not a killer, Dean. You were raised as a solider, but I wouldn't call you a killer. It's not who you are. As for tonight's situation. I had rebuilt you from scratch, but maybe there's something in your soul that have an Allister mark… I could check it out.
Angel words effect Dean on a deeper level. Unconsciously, he leant towards his new ally.
D: Let's do this. What do you need?
Standing a breath away from Dean, Castiel felt uneasy. It was incredibly weird to be able to feel anything close to this. He realized that he was afraid to reveal new information about their connection, simply because he had no desire to be rejected by the righteous man. D: Cas?
C: I need to touch you.
Dean hesitated at Castiel's wording but decided to act almost immediately. D: That's no problem, take my hand, man.
C: Dean, I need to touch you in a more intimate way.
D: What… What do you have in mind?
C: I need to touch your soul, or more precisely, I have to touch the part of your soul that is connected to my grace….
D: Well, how?
Slightly irritated, but still incredibly nervous, the angel discovered that he was less patient than he thought. C: Dean, if you hadn't interrupted me, I would have got to the point sooner rather than later. The hunter calmed down and seemed intent on listening first. Continuing to stand close to his angelic companion, he gestured for him to continue.
C: You have my grace. The bond is stronger because I left a thread of grace in you, and your body accepted it with deep anointing. At least that is my working theory.
At that, hunter took a step back, a little scared, but still standing his ground. Castiel continued: I would tell you eventually, but I felt that was too much information in one go. The handprint you have on your arm is the gate to this connection. Physically, it will fade with time, but it will always be there for me to see, and you to feel. So I can reach your soul, touch it, and examine if something except me and you are there. But it will hurt a lot, and you need to stay as still as you can. Human soul is really fragile thing.
Silence took over the room. No words, no moves, just the figures looking at each other.
A train of thought ride thorough Dean's mind. All of them beginning him to just gate away from Castiel, as quickly as humanly possible. But he didn't trust himself enough to do it. There's a possibility, that all his thoughts are tainted by Allister, and it's just a way for him to lose the only ally he has right now. In the other hand, he's afraid of the influence Castiel has over him. Hunter wish for his brother presents at that moment, to help him decided what to do. C: Dean, are you alright?
Castiel took a step closer to the human, at the same time Dean took a step back. C: I won't convince you to trust me. You need to figure it by yourself, but I can check your soul for you.
At last, hunter spoke. D: This is a fuck-up situation, man. A little lost for word, and not ready to agree to a soul-searching experiment, he looked himself up and down. First, I need to take a shower, If I stay in this bloody clothes a minute longer, I'm going to be sick for real.
It wasn't a declaration of trust, but base on things Castiel knew about the hunter, it was more than he had ever offered anyone except his brother. He decided to give him a space.
C: I understand. You have a change of clothes in the bathroom. Take your time.
Dean close the door, and start a shower. Seeing himself in the mirror, another panic attack break loose, this time there was no angel to get him through it. What's happening to me? Pull yourself together, Dean! You need to push it a side, and get over it quick. You need to find Sammy, and everything going to be alright. Talking to himself helped a lot. Taking deep breaths, one after another without stopping, he undressed, and got in the shower.
On the other side of the door Castiel stood still, waiting for a moment his human companion, will reach out for him to help. But that didn't happen. As Dean's panic attack started to subdue, he felt as he too can calm down. He decided to take a moment, and use a connection with heaven to give and receive a rapport.
C: Commander Gabriel, I have a rapport to present. Different voices than one of his friend archangel spoken to him.
N: Castiel, it's good to hear from you.
C: Naomi.
N: Yes, dear, it's me. You got us worried, Sariel told us that you decided that rebuilding Dean Winchester vessel is only your task. Why didn't you want help from your brother in arm?
C: It wasn't my decision. It was a command from Gabriel. He said that it was God will, so I did what I was told. Nothing else.
N: I see. Do you know where Gabriel is?
C: No. I hoped to connect with him just now.
Angel's answer was met with silence from the office major. He didn't dare to say more, instead deciding to wait patiently for Naomi.
At the same time, he felt that Dean opens the door from the bathroom and entered their room. He didn't want for Naomi to hear him, so again using new knowledge about humans. He turned to Dean and give a few signs. Finger to his lips, and then to ear, and to good measure reaching high to the roof, as a sign for heaven connection.
Fortunately, the hunter accepts all of that as a signal to not interrupt, whatever Castiel was doing. He headed to the room's bar, pulled out two glasses, put ice in them and poured whiskey. Castiel was still siting on a chair, with robotic stillness, with hands on the table in front of him, without blinking. Just listing to heaven, and looking at Dean's moves. Finally, his head was filled full of voices.
N: Gabriel disappeared. Michael is worried, we started to search. If you hear anything about Gabriel's whereabouts, rapport straight to me.
C: Of course major.
N: Well, I'm waiting for rapport about your mission. Michael waited for your opinion. Sariel rapport got as worried.
Dean felt that his angel companion was getting angry. He felt that something is getting on his nerves, but he tried his best to stay still and unfazed. When he spoke out loud, he didn't betray his emotional stated.
C: I waited for the righteous man to recover.
N: Is he with you right now?
Looking for any signs in their surroundings, that they were watched. He was positive, that right now nobody trace them. For the first time in his long existence, he decided to lay to his kin.
C: He is with me, but is currently using the bathroom. No one can hear our conversation.
Immediately after saying these words, he felt Dean's gaze pierce him from head to toe. He decided not to look in his direction to keep his emotions in check. Such a conversation had to pass smoothly.
He continued: the Mission was successfully completed. Not without casualties among our brothers and sisters. Of the 11 angels, two survived: me and Sariel. We annihilated more than 100 warriors of hell. I also defeated Allister. The righteous man was still tortured. I took him over before he was convinced by demons to become an executioner for other souls.
We left hell as I planned through purgatory. There, both I and Sariel, in the vessels that had taken over, began to heal from wounds received in battle. When we had regained most of our strength, Sariel wanted to work together to rebuild the human body. However, with Gabriel's clear order in my mind, I refused to accept help, ordering Sariel to return to heaven and report directly to ours superior on the success of the mission.
Reaching the Earth, I carried out the process of rebuilding the righteous man. I found a place where we can hide, I waited for his complete recovery to report the situation to heaven.
At that, he stopped, and wait for Naomi's answer.
N: I see, so the only reason for you to deny Sariel's help was your instructions?
C: Yes. Gabriel's thought that angel of the death shouldn't rebuild Michael vessel. He said that it's not appropriate. He thought that, as an angel of Thursday, I do not bear marks that could, in any way, affect the vessel's bond with archangel Michael.
N: Yes, Gabriel was right. You are not invasive. The perfect soldier for the mission.
Castiel felt that he was being tested, but didn't take the bait. He waited patient for more from Naomi. Do you have anything to add?
C: Yes, I think that Dean was being track by demons. I feel tainted blood around our area. I want to put a clocking spell on him.
N: Are you worried about the human?
Another test, another unthoughtful answer before me. But the decision was final, I will lie again, and again for Dean. C: Now, I'm not worried about the righteous man, but about Michael vessel. He needs to be in top condition to perform its task, as God had planned.
Saying this, he knew that Dean was not satisfied with the course of the conversation, but he continued to wait quietly. The moment he heard the last words, he took a sip of his drink, placing the second glass in front of Castiel and sitting down opposite him.
N: Yes, precisely. He needs to be ready for Michael. For now, don't tell him about his destiny. It's Michael order. Watch over him, and don't let anything happen to him.
C: Of course major. He looked at the frosted glass of whiskey and the melting ice inside, finally unable to stand the game played by Naomi, he decided to take the initiative. Are there any other orders?
N: As a matter of fact, there is one. We don't want for human to meet his younger brother for at least a month. Apocalypse's is coming, we are looking into seals, to determine which will be broken by the envoys first. We fear that hell will use the Winchester brothers and their bond against us.
It's funny, Castiel thinks, that for the first time he knows when his superiors are laying. He's starting to be grateful to Gabriel. C: I'll do my best to stop Dean in his search for Sam Winchester, but it will be difficult, it was the first thing he asked after saving.
N: It's not negotiable, one month, and then they can meet. If you can handle human, I will gladly send Sariel to you.
C: There's no need for backup. I commanded garrisons, I can handle Michael's vessel's. However, after a moment's reflection, he decided to state something else to create the impression of somebody who doesn't care much about the fate of the man in his hands. Of course, if bringing Sariel means that I can return to the battle to fight arm in arm with my brothers and sisters, I will gladly accept your generous proposition and return to heaven.
N: No, you are most needed on earth. Castiel, just remember that you can ask for help. I'm here for you.
At this point, Castiel felt relieved, his act had made a good impression. He knew that he was about to have a long conversation with Dean, but now he allowed himself a small triumph. This conversation could have gone far worse.
C: Thank you, Naomi. I know I can count on you. The human is getting out of the bathroom, it's best to finish our conversation at that. I will report to you in a few days.
N: I will be waiting. Be careful, and watch out for Michael's vessel.
Breaking the connection, Castiel reached for a glass of alcohol and drank the entire contents at once. Once again, he was surprised to be able to taste it. He was unable to look Dean in the eye, knowing that in a moment a conversation would begin that no one but them could hear.
His companion was not so patient, however, and forced out his first question. D: What the fuck was that?
Blue eyes pinned the green ones. If they could speak, one command could be heard: Not yet! Dean would always blame it on their bond, but at that moment he understood it and fell silent, waiting for Castiel's signal. Instead of asking further, he went back to the room's bar, pulled out a bottle of whiskey and filled a bucket with ice. No, mere glass is not enough, he thought, he needs to carry a whole set.
Still, Castiel didn't use telepathy to communicate anything to the hunter. He couldn't risk it, he is just learning to block his brothers' access to what he thinks and does.
While Dean was organizing another dose of alcohol, Castiel was forming a plan of action. He materialized a notebook and a black pen and began outlining the signs securing the room. After 15 minutes of silence, he handed three sheets of paper to Dean, three he kept. Finally, he spoke up.
C: Can you draw this? The hunter nodded affirmatively. That's good, he materialized something along the lines of a black thick pen, handed it to the man and added: You must do it with this.
Paint? Dean asked. The message not to bring up important topics at the head reached him clearly and distinctly.
Castiel didn't answer, but got up from the table, stripped to the waist and reached for an angelic dagger. The slightly blushing hunter could no longer remain silent.
D: Wait, wait, wait, what are you doing, man? If anyone ever accused Dean of staring too long at the angel's muscular frame, he would plead not guilty.
C: My blood is necessary. Cutting the skin on his arm, he ordered the hunter to come closer and draw blood straight from the source. Excitement and awe boiled in Dean's head. In such an appearance, the angel seemed extremely attractive, which was a very disturbing thought in the man's mind. Focusing on his work. He began to paint the signs prepared by the angel on the wall.
When they finished, Castiel finally looked Dean in the eye and said: We can talk now.
D: Freaking finally. Cas, what the fuck was that?
C: That was my superior, Naomi. I needed to get a rapport to heaven. I had hopped to talk with Gabriel, but something is wrong. He is missing.
D: And what about your answers to that Naomi woman? You will stop me from going after Sammy? You care only for Michael and his vessel?
Getting in to human personal space, Castiel eyes were honest and open. C: Of course not, Dean. I'll help you get to him. Don't you think, that if I would plan doing things you accuse me of, I wouldn't be talking in front of you? I wanted you to hear that.
Slightly distracted by the proximity of the celestial essential, the hunter could not quite gather his thoughts. D: Why?
C: So that you know what awaits us. I'm on your side, but to help you, I have to betray everything I believed in. I have to betray my species, my family…
Did you know that this was the first time I lied to anyone?
D: Why?
C: I did it for you. Because I'm on your side.
At that, Dean felt something broke in him. To Castiel's confusion, he yelled: Fuck!
C: What's the problem?… After a moment of consideration, he added:
You don't think, you deserved to be saved?
A single tear ran down the hunter's cheek. D: I don't think anything… I don't know, man.
I don't understand how you, angel of the lord, can take my side in this mess?
C: Because I know you. I know that circumstances forced us to get to know each other quickly. But Dean, I never met anyone like you.
The hunter couldn't comprehend this connection. He had trouble to believe celestial companion, but he felt that, he's telling the truth. D: Cas, what are we doing here? What does all this mean? He felt a hand grabbing the mark on his left arm. A spark comes out of it, a pleasure heat takes over his body. He couldn't stop the words: Of fuck, this feels good. What are you doing?
C: Dean, look at me.
D: Cas, I feel like we are all eyes, no words. Man, I feel almost high.
C: Oh my God, I feel you to, Dean. The crimson face of a hunter, and strung of arousal, hit the angel all at once. He needed to know You like it, don't you? Another hit, but this time mix with confusion.
D: Yes? No? I don't know. What are you doing?
C: I wanted to show you that I'm truthful. This way you can feel my grace. And I can feel your soul. It's beautiful. I have never felt anything like that before.
D: Okay, okay. What now?
C: You can ask me anything. If I try to lie to you, my grace will burn. This way, you don't need to be afraid about me being in your head. I give you power, to ask without me knowing what are your thought's about it.
Forgetting for the moment about the feeling inside him. Hunter started the questioning. D: Did you lie to Naomi?
C: Yes.
D: Did you hide anything from me?
C: No, but…
D: But what?
C: But I would if it wasn't for our bond. I couldn't hide anything important.
D: Why in the first place, you wanted to hide anything?
C: Because I didn't know you. For me, you were just some human, another of my father toys. But knowing what you have been through… It's change my opinion.
D: Do you know where is Sammy?
C: Yes.
D: Did you plan to stop me from going to him?
C: As I said before, no.
The hunter was in awe. He got a new, powerful ally. Sammy won't believe him. Answer after answer, Castiel proves himself trustworthy. Dean let his guard down, but decided to still ask more questions.
D: Are you controlling me through our connection?
C: No.
D: Can you control me at all?
C: No.
D: Care to elaborate.
C: I can't control you. I can show you myself, and read you better than any other human. We can communicate, as we establish before, and that's it.
D: What about your grace inside me, how can I get rid of it?
For the first time, Dean felt sadness coming from the angel, mix with a hint of regret.
C: My grace is something that's permanent. There are only few creatures who can extract it: God, Archangels, and Death. I'm sorry, Dean, it wasn't my intention to leave a mark.
D: What's the bond doing to you?
C: I… Hunter felt a light burning sensation, he knew that angel wanted to mask the truth.
D: Castiel, you promise to be truthful.
C: I have a piece of your soul in me. You left a mark.
Still shirtless, he reached for another hand of Dean, and place it on his abandoned. There was a small straight vertical line. When Dean touched it, a scare light up. This is you. Hunter let go of the mark. You don't have control over me too, but you can easily read me. I have all memories of yours about people you love or have loved. I know everything, and thanks to you, I experience emotions. Something that angels shouldn't be capable. I started to feel on my own. I can taste food, I can be happy or confuse. It's weird, but in a good way.
D: I don't know what to say. I feel like I broke you.
C: You didn't. Warm grace spread another hit around hunter's body. Another pleasure. You just show me what's important in life.
D: And, what is that?
C: Love.
Hunter was lost for words. Arousal, confusion, excitement, contentment, and fear. All these feelings were inside him. All with Castiel's being.
Dean couldn't stop, or maybe didn't want to. Looking at angel's full lips, he decided to kiss him. It was an innocent touch, lips on lips, just an embrace of skins, but give Castiel and Dean more pleasure than they anticipate. The bond light up the room.
