lostandbrokendreams: Hello! Back again with another update – work has been keeping me busy so I've prepared an extra long chapter for you all. Enjoy. (:


10


Bella

I woke up alone the next morning. It was clear Edward had just left, which shouldn't have affected me yet I couldn't shake off the feeling of disappointment.

I roll over in bed and throw the covers over my head, frustrated with myself at all these unknown feelings.

It felt like he was really going to say something important last night but backed off right at the last minute...

In my mind, in that moment, he looked so sincere that my heart definitely did backflips. I was so used to him being arrogant so of course I was caught off-guard...that's why my heart started to pound, right?

I really was lame at trying to convince myself.

At least, with him gone, I can try and find out what's going on with my apartment so I can go back home. I'm sure Jacob wouldn't think of checking back there after he ransacked the place, or I could at least speak to Rose about us getting a new apartment.

Although nothing was ever that easy, I learned.

Esme pretty much found me the moment I went downstairs and insisted I stay and keep her company for lunch as everyone else was out, and then Alice - who I learned was Edward's younger sister, would also chat to me during the day - asking me all sorts of questions.

What shoes I liked.

Any favourite designers I had.

If she could take me shopping with Rose to try on outfits.

It was certainly a whirlwind experience but...before I knew it, a few days had passed and I was still here. It was possible they were trying to keep me in positive spirits knowing what I had been through, but not once did they bring up Edward.

I couldn't help but wonder if something was wrong or perhaps he was just avoiding me. I would even check my phone to see if he had messaged but, of course, I also had no luck concerning that.

It wasn't like I missed him. He was only using me for his own personal gains.

Somehow that thought alone just pissed me off but why else am I so worked up over him?

I already told myself before - I wouldn't allow myself to fall in love again, especially while he was still out there.

I glance down at my journal, having realised I wrote my frustration down and instantly scribbling through, but froze there was suddenly a knock on the door - only to rise when I saw it was Esme.

She looked crestfallen and I furrowed my brows. "Esme, what's wrong?"

I take quick steps to walk over when she held my hands. "I'm sorry to ask you this Bella, but could I ask you to talk to Tommy?"

I hesitated. "Is there something wrong?"

Esme sighed. "I suppose you could say that. You see, we had a letter come in through the post." She handed me the letter and I slowly opened it, seeing a handwritten letter signed by...Lauren.

That name did ring a bell.

Upon me realising, Esme's expression suddenly made sense. I was sure Edward mentioned she was his ex, and that was why he wanted me to fake being his wife in the first place.

"So she wants full custody of Tommy?"

Esme sits on the bed and nods. "It's ridiculous, isn't isn't? She's been gone all these years and suddenly showed up first to bother Edward, insisting she still loves him, and now she wants Tommy back."

I was quiet as I listened to her, deciding to take a seat beside her. She definitely seemed upset and I gently place a hand on her back.

"What does...Tommy think of that idea?"

She shrugged. "He just went up to his room and hasn't come out since. I don't think he wants to talk to any of us right now." Her eyes glance over at me. "That's why I wanted to ask, could you try? I have a feeling you and Tommy are quite close."

"I'm not sure if we're close..." I trailed off, looking back at the letter. This was bad. I didn't want to be personally involved in matters like these or it would feel as if I'm getting in too deep, but Tommy did remind me of myself.

Now that I think about it, I was only 5 when Renee left.

I wondered if Tommy also struggled with those feelings of never being good enough, or what was so wrong with him that his mother felt the need to leave.

Even now I -

Fuck.

I look back at Esme and return the letter, holding her hand as I did. "I'll...try my best."

And that was what led me in front of his door.

I slowly knock, only to be greeted by silence. "Are you going to stay in there?" No response and I sighed, leaning against the doorframe. "I know you don't want to see anyone right now, but locking yourself in your room isn't the answer. Aren't you hungry?"

Still no answer, even as I tried to press my ear to the door just to hear something.

"Can't you just go away?"

Stubborn - I wondered who he got that from.

No matter; two can play at that game.

"No, if you won't eat. I'm not eating either. I'm staying here until you open the door and we can talk."

I made up my mind, huffing dramatically as I plop myself down and rest against the door.


I place a hand on my grumbling stomach, grimacing as I looked at the time. It was nearing 9PM and Tommy hadn't come out once. I would hear shuffling on the other side though so at least I knew he was moving around.

This was the problem when you had both your own bedroom and bathroom - he could probably live there infinitely but I couldn't bring myself to get up. I'm sure my legs had fallen asleep at this point so I couldn't move even if I tried.

I remained silent for the most part but grew concerned when I stopped hearing movements on the other side of the door. "Tommy?" I called his name, pressing my ear back against the door. "Don't you think this has gone on long enough? I'm not letting you starve yourself in your room. Let's get something to eat and talk about what's bothering you? I'm starving too."

It was quiet for a long time before I sensed movements and he spoke. "...no one told you to not eat, just go get something if you're that hungry."

"And I told you, I'm staying here until you open the door. I want to eat with you."

"Ugh, you're so annoying!"

"If I'm annoying, you are too - I'm only acting the exact same way you are."

That caused him to shut up, and I gave a defeated smile. "Is it so hard to believe that I want to hang out with you?"

"I know you're lying. You're just here for my dad."

"If that was the case, I would have left by now chasing after him. We already went over this didn't we? Are you going to throw another temper tantrum and make your dad worry, or are you going to come out so we can eat?"

It seemed to finally do the trick when the door unlocked and I saw Tommy again. He seemed surprised as I was right by his door and I extended my hand to him.

"Help me up. I can't move."

"You - You really are an old lady!"

"Charming, now hurry up. I'm starving."

He grumbled under his breath but took my hand and pulled until I stood up, and I ruffled his hair. "Thank you. Come on, let's go downstairs."

I smiled as he went down the stairs and I followed after him, urging him to sit by the counter in the kitchen. I decided to rummage through and see what we had to work with. "Hmm...what's your favorite food?" I suddenly ask him and he shrugged, and I tilt my head. "You don't want to tell me?"

He shook his head. "No I like anything."

I nodded. "Well, we do have some options...we can make cheeseburgers, casserole...tacos?" His expression brightened at tacos and it seems we finally knew what to have. "Tacos it is - you help me, okay? I'll need a sous chef."

I hand Tommy a chopping board and a knife, with an assortment of bowls and toppings from vegetables to proteins.

"I'm going to cook the chicken in the pan. While I'm doing that, can you cut this avocado for me?" I asked and he looked confused so I take an avocado from him. "Watch carefully, okay?"

He nods as I prepare the avocado, and start to slice slowly until it was in even scrips and so I hand him another one.

"Take your time with it. Once you're done, you can cut up some other toppings you want on it."

I put the chicken in the pre-heated pan after seasoning it, glancing back at Tommy to see he was focusing on cutting the avocado and I smiled. He was a quick learner.

When the chicken was ready, I bring it to the table and get us both a drink. "Be careful, it's hot." I shred the chicken so we can put it in our shells, and he was then free to put in whatever toppings he desired and I did the same.

"Cheers."

We held our tacos up and blew, before taking a bite and I sighed in satisfaction. "That's so good." I muttered and snuck a glance over at Tommy to see he had already finished one, and was making another.

Dinner was quite pleasant after he relaxed. I even complimented his knife skills which he seemed quite happy with.

After we ate, we had to wash up and I was surprised when Tommy stayed by my side with a towel in his hands. "Are you going to help me clean up?"

His cheeks were red. "W - Why? You don't want me to?"

"I never said that."

"Why don't you use the dishwasher?"

I shrugged as I fill up the sink and add the liquid before sinking the plate in to scrub away at. "Mhm...when I was younger we didn't really have a dishwasher so I always had to hand wash everything. I guess I'm just used to it now."

I pass him the plate once rinsed which he dries the plate with, looking curious up at me. "You did all the cleaning?"

I nod. "Yeah, I had to look after the house since my dad was working long shifts, and would be really tired when he gets home."

"What about your mom?"

I paused just before handing him the second plate. "My mom...she left me when I was 5, so I don't really remember her all that well." I admit, trying to shrug it off, but I could sense Tommy's eyes on me, maybe because he wanted to know more. "...it was sudden, you know? One minute she was fine, and the next, she packed up all her things and didn't even say goodbye to her only daughter. For years I blamed myself because I thought it was my fault she left and I hated her...actually, I still do hate her...but you know what?"

I smiled at Tommy, draining the sink. "After so many years of wondering what I could have done differently...I realised I couldn't do anything. My mom abandoned me because she wanted to continue travelling and she found it hard to be a mom. It was her fault...five year old me did nothing wrong."

After I dry my hands, I cup Tommy's cheeks. "Just like five year old me did nothing wrong, neither did you. It is not your fault your mother left. There was nothing more you could have done, do you understand?"

He looked away from me. "I know it wasn't my fault but, if she was planning to come back, why even leave in the first place? I can't even ask my dad."

It was true. Even Esme had no idea when he would be back.

"Do you want to see her?"

Tommy looked conflicted. "I do but..."

I crouch down to face him. "But...?"

"I don't want her to take me away from my dad. I'm happy here."

"She won't be able to take you away. Although I don't think you should see her by yourself, so if you do want to see her, be sure to take someone with you since your dad isn't home."

Tommy puffed his cheeks as he was in deep thoughts. "Then, I want you to come with me."

So much for not getting involved...


Alice clapped. "And viola!" She turned me around, promoting me to finally open my eyes. After I agreed to visit Tommy's mother with him, Alice and Rose insisted on dressing me up to keep up the appearance that I really was Edward's wife.

I was clad in a black dress paired with a leather jacket. My hair down in their usual loose waves and a pair of heels clasped onto my feet. I truly did wonder if this was all necessary but Alice knew I'd have to be on guard around Lauren.

She used to be with Edward and was Tommy's biological mother. To think she would contact them again...

I had to stay silent. I was only doing this because Tommy asked me.

It was then Alice widened her eyes. "Oh, I almost forgot!" She pulled out a box and revealed a diamond ring, causing Rose to also take a closer look, gasping.

"That shit is gorgeous. Where did you get that?"

Alice smiled proudly. "Edward got this, not me. His fake wife still needs a ring. I can't believe he didn't give it to you. You have to wear this so Lauren doesn't get suspicious." She slips the ring onto my finger and I grow hesitant.

"I really shouldn't...I'm only going down for Tommy."

Alice frowned, clearly disagreeing. "You should. Look, my brother is a lot but he definitely doesn't buy rings for just anyone. He cares about you, he's just running off because he doesn't know how to confront his feelings."

Her words made me pause. I couldn't imagine Edward running from anything but, maybe deep down...he was just like me.

Afraid to let someone in again.

I silently nodded, accepting the ring. "Thank you." I murmured and she gives me a hug, wishing me good luck as well as Rose.

When they both left, I glance back at the ring that had been vacant for a long time. But I knew I couldn't hold onto this forever.

This ring didn't belong to me. It was only for a show.

It was the truth, but I didn't expect it to be so heavy.

I shake my head and see Tommy already in the living room, classed in a formal suit. He was fussing over his tie when I approached. "You look handsome." He turned, frozen as he noticed me. I raise a brow. "Something wrong?"

Tommy finally spoke up. "N - No...let's go. We'll be late." He started running past me and I shrugged.

Maybe he really was looking forward to meeting Lauren?


Lauren ended up giving us the address to a restaurant. It was quite high-end which explained why we were dressed so formally. Although I was somewhat relieved it wasn't in a totally remote area, I had looked up the address beforehand and it seemed like quite a popular venue for the elite.

My eyes glance over at Tommy as the car was parking. He was pretty silent the majority of the journey and he seemed like he was in deep thought.

I could only wonder what was going through his head. He was only ten and would now be meeting his biological mom. He was much more composed than I was at his age, and I couldn't even tell how he was truly feeling.

"Tommy?" I get his attention and gesture to the restaurant. "We're here, you ready?" He nodded, getting the flowers he got for her and stepping out of the car. I followed suit as the driver informed us he would wait until we were done.

I thank him but, before we step in, I nudge Tommy. "Hey, if you feel uncomfortable and want to go, just squeeze my hand twice, alright?"

He was about to respond but was interrupted by the hostess who was kind enough to show us the reservation under the name Cullen, and there she was. She had blonde hair, but those green eyes were exactly like Tommy's so I could see the resemblance.

Clad in a form hugging dress, she stood up when we arrived. Her expression bright as she looked at Tommy, although it soured when she realised who was accompanying him.

I place a hand on Tommy's back and give him a gentle nudge. "You had something to give her, right?"

He seemed to remember the bouquet in his hand and nodded, giving it to Lauren. "For you..."

Lauren's eyes took in the flowers before she reached in to hug her son. "Oh Thomas, you've grown up to be such a gentleman. You're exactly like your father. Thank you so much for the flowers. They're so beautiful." She praised him, but he shuffled away to the seat opposite her and I take her hand before she could sit beside him.

"I'm Isabella. Let's take a seat."


The food arrived soon enough and Lauren was making a strong attempt to make conversation with Tommy - asking how he was, how he found school, and what he liked and disliked.

Tommy was also answering all of her questions, and I still couldn't tell how he was feeling. He definitely seemed less stiff than when he first met her, but there was still that awkwardness between them.

Her eyes returned to the flowers. "Did you pick these out for me?"

He nodded. "Bella helped me, but I wasn't sure what you'd like."

Her expression deflated slightly. Had she hoped Edward would have had involvement? After all, the reason he even proposed this ridiculous deal was to get away from her. I wondered if she truly still had feelings for him even after all these years.

"Well, they are very beautiful. Your father couldn't make it? I was hoping we could all get together and talk." She smiled, completely disregarding me as if I didn't exist - not like I cared, this was all about Tommy so I was quite content just eating my salmon.

Tommy frowned. "No, dad's busy with work and couldn't make it."

Lauren frowned. "Your dad always was busy with work. I remember when we were together he would always make time for me though." She sighed. "Why don't you call him? I'm sure he always loves hearing from you."

Tommy hesitated. "I don't think I can, he's always busy during the day so he usually just calls me before I go to bed."

I smiled behind my glass. Edward truly did love Tommy.

Although that wasn't what Lauren seemingly wanted. "Did you even tell your dad you're meeting with me? I'm sure he would have wanted to come along."

I was unsure why she was mentioning Edward so much and Lauren laughed. "Oh, it's only because I really did miss you both so it's a shame I couldn't see your father, but I have missed you. Which is why I wanted to ask..." She bites her lip. "Tommy, baby...do you want your mommy to come back home?"

Tommy and I both froze.

Immediately looking over at Tommy, he was silent. I don't think we both expected her to be quite so blunt, but it sounds like she really did mean what she wrote in her letter.

"I won't take you away from your father, sweetie. It's the opposite. I want us to be a whole family again." She continued to talk, as if refusing to acknowledge the years they had been apart.

Tommy wasn't saying a word.

I put my glass down, looking through my bag and turning to Tommy. "I think I forgot my lipstick in the car. Could you check for me?"

He knew I didn't forget but nodded, a quick look of relief on his face as he rushed off to meet the driver who was waiting for us outside the building. Ever since the incident at the bookstore, Edward always had guards hidden around looking over when I went out so I knew Tommy would be okay.

Lauren looked to go after him but I held her wrist. "There are guards outside - he'll be fine. Don't you think we should talk or are you going to keep ignoring me?"

She pulled her wrist out of my grasp and scoffed. "Why should I talk to you? You're clearly just someone Eddie found to try and replace me."

"You and I both know that isn't true. Edward and his family have been well off without you, it looks like you're trying to get your way back in after ten years, but why are you suddenly so desperate?"

She hid her sneer behind her glass of wine. "You don't know anything. I was only 21 when I had him, and I knew that if I stayed they would always have guards surrounding me whenever I went out, or would be at home changing diapers while my friends were enjoying their college days. I wanted to be free." She stressed. "And that's why I've come back now. I realised how selfish I was and want them to give me a second chance."

Her reasoning was what I imagined Renee would say to me. After all, she wanted to be free and, just by saying that, I had felt like a burden to my own mother.

I was glad Tommy wasn't hearing any of this.

I could only shake my head. "If that's how you feel, then why don't you stop asking about Edward and apologise to Tommy? I don't care about your reasons for you leaving, the fact is - you still abandoned him. If you really want to try being a mom to him again, he deserves that at least from you."

"Are you really trying to tell me what to do? You're an outsider - this doesn't concern you."

"Tommy asked me to be here." Was all I could respond to that. "So I won't leave unless he wants me to."

That definitely riled her up. "You can't be serious." Her eyes fell on the diamond ring Alice showed me earlier in the evening. "You can't be his wife. It was always meant to be me - he promised he would always be there for me!"

"That was before you left him. If Edward really missed you, he would have contacted you himself. So, instead of living in the past, why don't you say the real reason you sought out Tommy again? Why not before? You had ten years to get back into their life so why now?"

She couldn't handle my level of questioning and reached for the champagne glass. "Just stop interfering! I told you - it's nothing to do with you!"

Rising to her feet, I could see Lauren about to throw her champagne over me but the impact never came. Instead, I felt two arms wrap around me followed by a gasp. It all happened so fast but, when I look down, I saw I was holding... "Tommy?"

He had stepped in front of me and I touch his back over his suit, feeling the material soaked from the champagne. It wasn't a lot, thankfully, but the fact that she wielded glass was enough to make me lose my temper, especially when it was so close.

I quickly pull him away to examine his body and face. "Are you hurt anywhere? Why would you step in like that? You could have been injured." I scolded him, quickly shrugging off my jacket to put around his shoulders.

Tommy shook his head to confirm he wasn't injured and I look at Lauren. "Thomas..." She tried to reach for him but I pulled him behind me, standing up to face her.

"Don't go near him."

"I'm his mother. I can go near him when I want to. Thomas, come to mommy. I want to make sure you're okay."

She started to approach and I knew this wasn't good. I was ready to confront her until Tommy squeezed my hand twice, holding it tightly. "Mom, please..."

Lauren's eyes brightened. "What did you say, sweetie?"

Except it wasn't Lauren he was talking to.

"Mom, I want to go home."


After we settled the bill, Tommy and I walked back to the car in the parking lot. He had yet to say a word since we left but I didn't want to push him, after all, I couldn't begin to imagine the thoughts going through his head.

"Tommy, wait!"

We could hear Lauren chasing after us and I quickly pass Tommy to the driver. "Get him into the car." The driver nods while Tommy looked concerned but I shake my head, turning to face Lauren.

She was trying to get past me to get into the car but my hand on her arm pulled her back in front of me, although she tried her hardest to struggle. "Let me go! I need to see my son."

I do as she instructs and release her arm, causing her to stumble as I step closer to the blonde. "I think Tommy made it clear he didn't want to continue speaking to you tonight. Can't you give the kid a break? You're freaking him out."

Lauren scoffed, standing back up. "You bitch, stop getting in my way. Do you know who I am? There's no way you're his wife!" She raised her hand, as if to slap me but someone caught her wrist.

I look to my left.

"Edward?"

"Eddie?"

We both called for him at the same time but something wasn't right in his expression, or maybe it was the blood all over his shirt.

This could not be good.