Hello Everyone And Welcome Back!
I know the last chapter was a bit too much and had some mixed reviews. I appreciate your feedback gladly and I'll try to give Megan a break. In another section, this episode is a little too sappy but I think if needed for the development of the characters. Hope you enjoy it!
Really, love you all, and thanks for always be there reading this story that s by now, really close to my heart!
Please, let me know your thought on the chapter and the story. Any questions, suggestion, comment or review is very welcome and appreciated
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Thank you so much for all the support you have been giving me, I wouldn't be able to do this without you guys! Really, thanks VERY much!
*Chapter reviewed and updated
B. M. Adams
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Disclaimer: I do not own anything from R&I, just the plot, and OCs
Megan's POV
June/11/2010
'What a funny joke the universe decided to play today' thought. I kept on replaying the events of the day in my head. In one moment, I'm buying coffee and the next one I'm running from shooters trying to save my life 'Everything feels so surreal' I was sitting on a stretcher, waiting for the doctor to come and stitch up my graze. Maura was waiting in the waiting area for the doctor to come out and give her some news about Jane. 'I still can't believe that she shot a guy through herself'.
I didn't want to close my eyes; every time I did it I saw the whole scene once again. I tried to be strong and not succumb to my own feelings and fears, but it was taking a toll on me every passing second. For a minute I thought that once again I had lost someone I cared about; yes, I've came to care about these people even though I didn't want to. I started to get impatient in that room waiting for the doctor to come. I reached the back pocket of my trousers and pulled my phone out of it but something else fell to the ground. I stood up from the stretcher and grabbed the paper. I realized then that it was Jane's note and I realized how much this had affected me, tears threatened to fall down my cheeks. I was afraid for her, afraid of what might happen.
I closed my eyes and breathed deeply taking the little piece of paper and putting it in my pocket again. I sighed resigned and sat back on the stretched. Not much after I heard the door opening and thought that it was the doctor to stitch up my arm but was Angela instead the one that came in.
"Angela?!" I whispered surprised.
"How are you doing, honey?" She asked while closing the door behind her and approaching me.
"Fine" Megan simply said "Anything about Jane or Frankie?" I asked visibly concerned.
The older woman's eyes softened and smiled; she placed her hand on my knee trying to comfort me in some way "Frankie is ok, some stitches and a blood transfusion. He'll be fine in no time" she said and sighed "Jane's still in surgery" she exclaimed and continued "Don't worry too much about her. She's a tough cookie, honey. She'll be ok" She assured me, caressing my hair. We spent a few minutes of silence before she asked "But, how are you?"
I looked at her knowing where she was going but tried to avoid the subject "I'm ok, it's just a graze" I commented.
"I think you know that I didn't mean your physical state" she clarified "Oh, you have so much of Jane" she added shaking her head "come on, honey. Tell Nonna how you are feeling".
I was taken back by her words 'What on earth do I have from Jane?' I thought, even though I was flattered by the comparison I was confused because I couldn't point one thing that Jane and I had in common 'Probably just our sarcasm'. I sighed knowing that there was no other way out than talking "A little shaken up but nothing too major" I said, trying to convince myself more than trying to convince her.
Angela was about to say something when Maura entered in the room, she was looking totally unlike her, her eyes were tired, her face lacked its usual brightness, and her smiles was simply not there. She tried to hide the fear on her face by showing a sad smile when she saw us "How are you doing, sweetheart" she said before pressing her lips on my temple.
I nodded and did my best to sound convincing "Fine" I simply said.
She sympathetically looked at me and kissed again my temple "I think you both like to know that Jane is out of surgery" she exclaimed.
"That's great!" Angela said happily "What the doctor said?" she asked then.
"Well, she's out of danger, horrid wound but she'll make a full recovery. She's now in the recovery room, they will let us see her after the effect of the anesthesia has passed." Maura exclaimed while taking a fly-away lock of my hair to the back of my ear and smiled. I sighed deeply and finally felt like breathing normally.
At that moment, a young, redhead doctor came inside the room "Hello, ladies. I'm Charlotte Dunne" she said rather cheerfully "Let's see that wound" she said while she took the bandage.
"I'll go to see how Frankie is doing," Said Angela robbing my back and patting Maura's shoulder.
Maura looked at me again "Do you want me to stay?" she asked.
I wanted to say 'Yes' right away but I couldn't come to terms with the thought of asking her for comfort and support. I just shrugged but by the way she looked at me she must have noticed that I wanted her there. I didn't know what was happening with me and why all of a sudden I wanted to have them close. Maura smiled and grabbed my hand and I held it tightly.
"I'm going to give you a numbing shot, so you won't feel any pain, ok?" Dr. Dunne said. She grabbed the syringe "You will feel a little jab, ok" she warned.
I nodded and inhaled deeply when I felt the needle piercing through my skin and involuntarily I tighten up my grip on Maura's hand. "I know it hurts, but soon it'll be over, love" Maura whispered in my ear, trying to sooth me. I looked at her like a little kid that's afraid of going to sleep in the dark alone. Even though I tried to hide it, I couldn't, since I was a kid, I never liked syringes.
The redhead started to stitch my arm up, the anesthetic worked, it numbed the area but I could still feel the pressure, every time she pulled the suture.
"All done," The redhead said after a while "I'll prescribe you an antibiotic ointment to prevent infections. If there's any more redness or the color of the wound is close to yellow, come here right away and if after a couple of days, the swelling it's not reduced or you have a fever, come to see me too" she explained. "And try to keep it dry, take the bandage once every 12 hours and let it breathe for at least one hour before covering it again and after three days don't cover it anymore, just when you shower" she finished and gave Maura the prescription.
"Thank you, doctor" Maura said politely.
"No problem, Mrs. Isles" she smiled and looked at me "And for being a great patience you won this," she said smiling brightly, pulling out a lollipop from her white coat "I know you're a teenager, but everybody loves lollipops," she said matter-of-factly.
I laughed softly and took the treat "Thanks, doctor" I said.
"You're welcome," The doctor said goodbye and left the room.
"What do you say if we go to see if Jane is awake?" Maura asked.
I nodded vaguely "Ok" I simply answered, not really in the mood for a talk.
Maura's POV.
We walked towards the ICU wing of the hospital. Megan walked by my side as if she was walking by inertia, not saying a word. She was a trooper while her arm was being stitched up, but I knew better than to be blinded by that tough exterior. I was so proud of this girl, not even once I have seen her break or weaken. She had passed through more than she should have already, and this just happened, it was hard to try to understand or even imagine what she might have been thinking and feeling. That many thoughts and emotions had to be really confusing. She had lost her family, threw at a group home all of a sudden, have to adjust to a new family and new people, a new school, a shooting, she just saw Jane almost die, and even though, she never lost her nerves and never broke down. I knew that this would bill us later but for now, she was being a rock.
She got to the reception "Hello, I'm Maura isles, my wife most has been transferred here not long ago. Is she able to have any visits?" I asked.
"Sure, give me a minute to check, ma'am," the nurse said.
"Thank you," I said and looked at the girl by my side, she was looking intently at the grooves on the floor, she looked so blank and inexpressive that I was afraid that this mess was her breaking point. I was about to talk to her when my phone rang, I looked at the screen and it was Frost calling.
"Hi, Barry" I answered the phone.
"Hey Maura, I'm with the kids at home. Everything is fine" he said.
"Great, thanks, Barry. How are they?" I said rubbing my forehead.
"They are fine, not really understanding why you or Jane aren't here but ok...Mmm… do you want me to tell them something?" he asked.
I sighed deeply trying to find a way to explain this whole thing to two little kids "Don't worry, I'll figure that out in a little while. I'm going to see how she is and call you back in shortly, just tell them we love them" I explained.
"Ok, of course… I'm here if you need anything, Maura" she heartfeltly said.
"I know, thank you, Barry," I said, and hanging up the phone Angela appeared at the door of the ICU.
"Hey, how is Frankie doing?" I asked her.
"He's just fine" Angela assured "Anything about when can we see Jane?" she asked right after.
"One of the nurses is checking if she can have visits already" Maura exclaimed.
We waited a few more minutes in silence when the same nurse came "Your wife is already resting in her room, you can go in until visitation hours are over at ten o'clock. Please, just two at a time and only immediate family. You can go in when you're ready; She is in room number 106" she informed.
"I'll be in the waiting room," Megan said, and without giving time to say anything she left.
I was about to go after her, but Angela stopped me "Leave her alone, she needs some time process" she said.
I nodded knowing she was right. Angela and I walked to the room and when we got there the doctor that performed the surgery was there checking her equipment. "Oh! Hello, Mrs. Isles. Mrs. Rizzoli" He greeted us.
"Hello, doctor," Angela said greeting back.
"Well, you both would like to know that she's doing incredibly well" he commented while writing her stats on the chart.
"That's great to know" I whispered. I looked at Jane next to me on the hospital bed, her unruly hair was tamed in a loose ponytail, and her color drained from her rosy and life-full, bright face. It hurt to see her like that.
"We give her quite a good amount of morphine to help her sleep through the night," He said "That will give her time to rest and recover a little bit of energy. I'll monitor her for the night and if everything goes as plan she should be in a regular room by tomorrow night and out of here in a couple of days depending on her recovery" He informed.
I inhaled deeply "Thanks, doctor" I managed to say visibly relieved.
"There's no need to thank me," he said and continued "I recommend you both to stay here until visit hours are over and then go home" he advised "I know is easier to say than do but you need to rest too and being here won't change anything. Due to the exhaustion of her body and the morphine she'll sleep a good ten to twelve hours," he finished.
I nodded vehemently having very clear that he was right, even though I wanted to be with her, I needed to see my kids, hug them and tell them that I love them, and of course, they need to know what happened to some extend. "I know, I know. Thanks" I said.
"I'll let you two have some space. See you in the morning" he said and left the room.
Angela got close to Jane, grabbed her hand, and kissed her forehead "Sometimes you're so stupid, Jane" she said softly, and I couldn't help but laugh. Honestly, I wanted to say that too. Watching the moment Angela was having with Jane, I remembered Megan alone in the waiting room.
We discussed somethings for a few minutes "Angela, I'll be back in a minute" I said and left the room. I reached the waiting room and saw Megan sitting on one of the chairs, her elbows resting on her tights and her hands fidgeting, her head hanging low, and her eyes lost in the wall in front of her. It hurt me to see her so lost and retracted.
She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even notice that I sat by her side "Hey, sweetie" I said softly.
She came out of her head and looked at me quizzically "You're out?" she asked.
I laughed at her comment "Yes" I said and waited a few seconds before keep on talking "Angela is with her daughter and I needed to be with you" I said heartfeltly.
She looked at me with those big olive-green, puppy eyes that I couldn't help my heart to melt completely for her all over again. I took her hand in mine and said "Angela and I discussed a bit inside and agreed that she would take you home and stay with you until I go back. I'll stay until ten" I said and continued "You know, the kids are bound to ask a lot of questions" I said chuckling "Just tell them the truth, ok. Angela is there to help you if the questions are too much?"
She nodded and lowered her gaze once again "I think you'll be less worry if you go inside and talk to Jane. She's asleep, but that might be good for both of you" I said.
Megan sighed "Only immediate family, remember?" she said sadly.
This also hurt me a lot, the fact that she didn't consider herself part of the family, the fact that she felt like she didn't belong "Baby" I said swallowing a lump in my throat "You're our daughter, you are more than immediate family" I said firmly, and her eyes started to well up.
She looked quizzically at me, but a small smile showing on her face for the first time in this whole ordeal. I looked at her with loving eyes and hugged her. This was the first time she had fully accepted and reciprocated a show of affection towards me. I tightly held her against me just enjoying having her in my arms, giving her the comfort and the love we both needed. We remained a few minutes in each other's arms. "Somehow you have to trust this, that it doesn't matter the situation you have us" I whispered in her ear.
She didn't say a word, but the thankfulness could be seen in her glimmery eyes. I shook my head "What am I going to do with you" I said laughing. Megan smiled and shrugged. "I love you, sweetie," I said kissing her forehead.
She hesitated but answered "too" she whispered almost inaudible. My eyes welled up with tears, this made this day a little less horrible, my heart filled with more love for that girl again and I just wanted to have her in my arms forever.
When we pulled out from each other we saw Angela coming out of the ICU "Why don't you go to Jane's room while Angela and I talk a bit here?" I suggested.
She nodded "Ok," said and walked towards the room.
"Is she ok?" Angela asked after she disappeared from our view.
I sighed "She's been through a lot" I said sadly "Her parent's death, the time she spent in that awful group home, this mess" I sighed again "On top that she's just like Jane, she likes to bottle things up and be the strong one even if she doesn't need to be" I said.
Angela placed her hand on my shoulder "You right, is just amazing that Megan didn't come from her. Well, she's a little bit shorter but you get me" she joked enlightening the mood. I just laugh at the comment, she was right, Megan has a lot of Jane's traits not physically but all her mannerisms and personality but if you asked Jane she would say that Megan is all me, her logical and calm self and her impressive ability to retain information and useless facts about everything and her general knowledge makes Jane think she is my daughter. The truth is that she was ours and we weren't letting her go anytime soon.
"Well, when she comes out I'll take us home, and... do you want me to tell the kids or prefer to be you?" she asked.
"They are going to ask anyways so tell them the truth, no details, but the truth" I answered.
"Ok, perfect" said Angela. We waited for Megan to come out. About fifteen minutes later she came to the waiting room. She seemed less worry but her eyes were a bit redder, sign that she might have been crying.
"I'll be home by 10:30 pm," I said to Megan as she nodded. I cupped Megan's cheeks and kissed Megan's Forehead "Bye, sweetie. See you in a bit" I said to her and she just nodded again. I said goodbye to Angela, and they left. I rubbed my forehead and got back inside Jane's room. I stood leaning against the door frame think that she might be dead right now. Thinking about how I could live without her. I moved towards her and grabbed her hand "You can't be so reckless, Jane" I whispered "I can't live without you, our kids can't live without you" I cleaned wiped away a tear. I remained sitting beside her bed, holding her hand all the time.
Megan's POV
The drive home was eagerly silent, apart from some small talk about how I was feeling we didn't say much. We arrived home and I was feeling exhausted beyond beliefs, this day had worn us physically, mostly mentally but even with all that I didn't feel like sleeping. I looked at my watch and saw it was only 8:40 pm 'Is this day going to end anytime soon?' I asked myself.
We got out of the car and got inside the house, Barry was in the kitchen checking his phone but soon enough he noticed our presence "Hey, how are you, how are Jane, Frankie, and doc?" he immediately asked.
"They are all ok. Jane and Frankie are recovering pretty well, and Maura is worried sick but fine. Frankie should be home tomorrow and Jane will need a little more of time, but she'll be fine" Angela informed him.
The relief was evident on his face "Thanks god" he sighed and looked at me "And you?, how are you trooper?" he asked.
"Fine, just seven stitches, nothing major" I joked.
He laughed "Well done," he said, and we fist bumped our fists.
"How are the kids?" Angela asked.
"They are ok, Maura called not long ago and talk to them, I think she told them but it's kind of a hard topic to understand at such a young age," he said "They are upstairs in their rooms" he finished.
"Ok, I'll go to check on them" Said Angela.
"Fine, I'll be heading home," Frost said "If there is anything you need, no matter when or what, call me," he said. Saying goodbye, he left, and Angela went upstairs to see the kids.
I went to the kitchen and took a glass of water before went to my room and get inside the tub. I turned the hot water on as hot as I could stand and let it fill up. I entered the tub as soon as it was full and just let myself sink in the water leaving my injured arm out of it. I just let myself soak for at least thirty minutes, not moving, not even thinking. My phone pulled me out of my trance; there was a message from Christina "Hey, I saw what happen at the police station, you ok?!" the message said.
I signed and finished my bath, got dress, and braided my hair, not feeling like drying it and answered Christina's "I'm fine, tell you later" I simply wrote and turned it off not wanting to talk about this anymore, I just wanted to sleep it all away. I felt a migraine announcing itself so went downstairs to have a glass of water to take a pill. Angela was in the kitchen drinking some tea and reading a magazine.
"How are you feeling, honey?" she asked when she saw me in the room.
"Better, the bath was magic" I answered opening the fridge and filling a cup with water.
"What are you taking?" she curiously asked when she saw the pill in my hand.
"Just some Tylenol, I had some headache" I explained.
She stood up and came closer to me and felt my forehead "You're not warm, thank God. Any other symptom? I knew you were sick during the weekend" she said.
I shook my head "No, just a headache, some sleep should help" I said.
She nodded "You should rest; it's been a hell of a day for all. If you need anything or you're not feeling well come and get me. Goodnight," she said while hugging me, carefully avoiding the bandage on my arm.
I nodded and leaned into the hug "Goodnight" I said, "And…Mmm, did you talk to the kids, how are they?" I remembered to ask before leaving the kitchen.
"Yes, I talk to them and well they took it as good as possible. Lucas is really worried, and Lily cried for some time but I hope they both are sleeping. Something you should do too" she said.
"Sure. 'Night" I said again and went upstairs. When I was walking to my room I heard voices coming from Lucas's room and decided to go to see what the kids were up to. I knocked on the door and opened the door slowly. "Is there space for one more?" I said.
"Meggie!" Lily squealed and jumped from the bed running towards me, she crashed against my legs hugging me; I leaned and picked her up and walked to the bed "How are you, little one" I asked her, but she didn't answer, her head rested on my shoulder and I could tell she was almost falling asleep.
Sitting next to Lucas. "How are you, champ?" I asked him, ruffling his hair.
"Nonna told us what happened today," he said sadly "But I think she didn't tell us all," He said whispering trying to keep Lily out of the conversation.
I looked sympathetically at the boy "You know, what Angela said is the truth, and yes, you Mama is in the hospital, but she'll be fine and home really soon" I assured him and looked at the girl in my arms.
Lily looked like she was about to cry "Is mama going to go with the angels as Lucy did?" she asked, tears starting to roll down her eyes.
I thoughts for a minute not really knowing who Lucy was but knew that I had to ease her fear "Your mama will be fine, Lily. You don't have to worry about her, you know better than me that she will not leave you... leave us like this" I said as softly as I could.
The girl sniffed and rested her head back on my shoulder "Why don't I take you to your room and we leave Lucas so he can sleep?" I asked her. The girl just nodded her head sleepily.
"Night, champ," I said, and we bumped our fists "You know where I am if you need me," I said and winked my eye.
He smiled "I know" he said and got comfortable under the covers.
I carried the sleepy girl to her room and placed her on her bed "Goodnight, Lily" I said pulling the covers up to her chin.
"Night, Meggie" the girl said and snuggle again her teddy bear.
I left the room and went to mine. I slumped sideways in the bed and placed my earphones in my ear trying to avoid any thought with loud music, spending a good half an hour avoiding the reality "Still awake?" I heard a voice saying. I took one of the earphones and nodded. Maura didn't say anything else, but I felt her climbing in the bed, lying by my side, close enough for our shoulders to touch.
"You know, Jane woke up for a few minutes, and one the first things she said was if you were ok. I kept on looking at the ceiling letting her words sink in "She tends to worry about everyone else before herself…just like you" she said I then turned my head and looked at her, my brow furrowed in confusion "You've been a rock since you came here, I have seen a teenager acting like an adult. You're so mature and logical. I haven't seen you break, not even a little and today was beyond horrific and there you are, you manage to not lose your nerves, to think straight, strong throughout all. You are amazing, you know?" she said.
I remained silent not utter even a sound "It's ok to break. It's ok to cry, to feel scare and to be overwhelmed" she sighed "Anything you might be feeling is ok…I know I'm not your mother, I know I will never replace her but I'm here for you, wherever there might be, we all are here for you and you're allowed to be a teenager, you don't have to be an adult just yet. Life might have taken much of your innocence, but you can still be a kid, you need to be" she said. I kept on looking at her not knowing how to answer but I was feeling so, so many things that I couldn't pinpoint one, I just let a tear fall down my cheek. She was right I've been living in fear; fear of getting too attached to them and be taken away breaking my heart again, I've been carrying a lot of weight on my own and many emotions I didn't understand.
I took a shuddering breath 'And there goes the wall' I thought. And without thinking I rolled and hugged her, placing my head on her chest. Immediately I felt her arms surrounding me and her lips pressed against my hair "I know you are scared and that's ok, I'm too but knowing that Jane will be fine, Lily and Lucas are safe and tucked into bed and knowing that you are safe, and sound makes the fear go away" she stated. I just held onto her until I fell asleep, soothed by the steady rhythm of Maura's breathing and the soft sound of her beating heart.
