Tim feels defeated by love and frustrated at his lack of luck in the relationship department. So, after losing a drunken bet with DiNozzo, Tim pays his dues and joins an online adults-only social networking app.
Prologue
"So, if I win this bet, you have to sign up to join the Lonely-Hearts Club. You know, the adults-only social networking app," Tony began as he finished his eighth beer. Ziva was a lightweight and had passed out on the sofa over an hour ago. The bet was to see who could chug their next bottle of beer the fastest. "Who knows? You might meet the girl of your dreams."
Jimmy and Ducky were singing a Scottish number, loudly and way off key. Jimmy Palmer didn't even know all the words and could barely carry the tune, while Ducky was slurring his words and had already proclaimed himself as king of the piano, as he played the old baby piano, off key and out of harmony.
Shannon had already cut her daughter off and Gibbs had helped Shannon carry Kelly upstairs. She was nursing a broken heart and tonight's festivities had been good for her. Shannon was always happy to host. Their team had just finished a huge case and Jethro had texted her that they were going to a bar to celebrate. But after the last time Shannon had spent two hours trying to rein Tony in, she suggested that they get pizzas and celebrate at their home, instead.
Tim was on his sixth beer, but Gibbs had been feeding him glasses of bourbon in between the bottles of beer. Tim hadn't needed to tell anyone that he and Amanda had broken up. Tony had guessed and Gibbs knew that Kai had shot Amanda to protect Tim. Gibbs also knew that his youngest Agent was beginning to fall for the fiery red-headed assassin and that he had been falling hard. Gibbs also had suspected that Tim would never have come over, he had wanted to be alone. So, he had threatened to ask Abby to sit with him, at his apartment if he didn't come over tonight.
So, Tim had come. His team had tried to cheer him up. Abby had tried to cheer him up, but eventually got frustrated at his mood and growled at him. In turn, Shannon had chastised her, and she had sulked off home, shortly after the pizzas arrived, claiming she had a date. Tim said, slurring his words. He took the opened bottle of beer from Tony, as the senior field agent opened one for himself. "Why am I taking a sucker bet?" he muttered to himself as Gibbs entered the room again.
"Live a little, Tim," Gibbs admonished, not knowing what they were talking about. Whatever it was, he knew DiNozzo wouldn't steer their probie into any real danger and it would be a good experience for Tim. "How much trouble can you get into, while you are at my house?"
"You heard the man, Tiny Tim." Tony encouraged him as he clinked his beer bottle against Tim's. "Ready, let's go, in 3, 2, 1, and go!"
Gibbs watched on in shock as Tony and Tim competed to see who could chug their bottle of beer, the fastest. Internally, he was head-slapping himself. He should have never encouraged Tim to do something with DiNozzo; after all, didn't Tony's antics always lead to mischief? But at least the upside was, chugging a beer was mild in the grand scheme of Tony's antics. Worst case scenario, Tim would be puking his guts up and in the morning with a nasty hangover.
Chapter one
Tony asked, "Did you do it yet?" as they sat across from each other at the diner, searching for a greasy breakfast after their drunken night. A greasy breakfast and a hot, strong coffee always hit the spot, as it worked hard to push the alcohol from their systems.
Gibbs had put Tim and Tony in his challenger and dropped them both back at Tim's apartment somewhere around 0230, managing to get both of them upstairs and into their respective beds. Tim into his king size bed and Tony in the double bed Tim had in his guest room, for when his sister stayed over. Tony's apartment had been closer, but he didn't think he'd be able to get Tim to settle on the sofa. He knew that Tim had a guest room for when his sister stayed, so it was a no-brainer to leave Tony with Tim. Breena had come and collected a near comatose Jimmy Palmer and a jovial Ducky from Gibbs and Shannon's home around 2300, when her night classes had finished. Shannon had told Gibbs to leave Ziva, that she could spend the night where she passed out. When they had woken at six and gone downstairs, the coffee pot was preparing to fill, and Ziva was gone. The pillow on top of the folded blanket and a thank-you note on the pillow.
"Clearly not, Tony," Tim grumbled, as he slid his sunglasses on over his eyes and squinted. Opening them again, he blew Elaine a kiss for the steaming hot, large coffee she had just placed in front of him, wordlessly. "I've been unconscious, or with you. in search of food."
"Well, we've found the food, so there's no time like the present." Tony grinned gleefully, as he opened his phone and typed into the Lonely-Hearts website to sign McGee up.
"You can sign me up, but I'm not paying for it, and you can't make me use it." Tim groaned, as Elaine delivered their bacon and scrambled eggs. Tim's with a side of fruit salad and apple sauce, while Tony had a side of sausage. Tim handed the ketchup to Tony, taking the tobacco sauce for himself, pouring a liberal amount over the eggs. He handed the tobacco sauce to DiNozzo and poured half of the apple sauce into his eggs and the other half over his fruit salad.
Tony announced, flashing Tim a web-based email site that Tim used to create undercover email addresses. "Unless you want me to register using your personal email address or your NCIS email address."
With the email address created, Tony registered Tim for the app using the handle that he had assigned to Tim: TinyTechTiger. Tim asked curiously, "You know your way around this site pretty well, Tony. Is there something you want to share with the class?" Tony muttered, causing Tim to choke on his coffee. Tim always thought that the great DiNozzo had a different pick-up line for every night of the week. He laughed at his friend. "So? Sometimes you just prefer to sit and chat? Sounds kind of geeky."
"Sometimes Probie, I'm just looking for someone to talk to, without the effort of leaving my apartment. To let my mind unwind." Tony amended, addressing Tim. "Of course, you know that a dick pic never goes astray."
"Who sends dick pics anymore?" Tim lamented. "That's considered predatory behaviour. A sure fire way to make a a woman scroll right on past you."
"Well, Probie, on a rare occasion, a girl will send you back a picture." Tony grinned at his friend. "It's like free porn and what's DiNozzo's number rule when it comes to porn? 'Never turn down free porn.' Free porn is to be enjoyed, to be savored."
"You disgust me, Tony." Tim snapped and Tony just grinned as he began to fill out the online profile for Tim. Tim had to admit that he was surprised that Tony was taking the profile seriously, filling in truthful answers. Such as his height and his physical appearance, his hobbies and his marital status. But after all, how hard was it to click single.
"I am not going to do it all, Tiny Tim." Tony grinned at him, handing his phone over to Tim. "You lost the bet, you can fill in your own likes and dislikes, your own kinks and what not. Lord only knows what frisky business you and Abby got up to, inside that coffin of hers."
"Oh god!" Tim groaned, putting his head inside his hands and cradling it, in defeat. He knew going toe to toe with Tony last night was not a good idea. He would be paying for it today. What was worse, Gibbs had encouraged him to make the bet with Tony.
Chapter two
"Just join up with me, Kell." Her friend Annabelle begged her. "It'll be fun. We can compare notes on which ones are the creeps and which ones are good."
"I'm quite content to sit here and brood in my grief." Kelly reminded her friend of more than twenty years. "Besides, it's too soon. Andy and I only broke up last month."
"Exactly why, you need to strike while the iron is hot." Annabelle reminded her as they ordered their drinks. It was the following Friday night, and the bar was packed. Her best friend Annabelle, and colleague had agreed to join some of their other colleagues for Friday night drinks at the bar down the road from her apartment. "I can guarantee you that Andy has already slept with at least three girls."
"He slept with three women while we were together." Kelly admitted to her friend, as she downed the shot of tequila. "At the same time, Annabelle!"
Annabelle signaled to the bartender for another two shots, as she took Kelly's hand in comfort. "True, but that makes him the asshole, Kell, not you."
As the bartender delivered the shots to the two women at the end of the bar, a six-foot two man leaned over beside Kelly and called out to the bartender. He was dressed in a designer suit that cost more than her monthly salary, his hair half slicked back and falling over his face. That look that she had never admitted to anyone always made her a little more flirtatious with him. "Four quick fucks, four orgasms and a bottle of your best bourbon." As he stood himself upright he bumped into Kelly. "Ah, I am sorry about that Miss ...?"
There was no mistaking the identity of the man that bumped into her. It was Tim, but he was using an accent that if she didn't know any better, she'd swear was his real voice. The accent was definitely Irish and Kelly found her knees wobbled slightly. The bar was a run down, seedy, dive-bar that was frequented by unsavory patrons. Except on Friday nights, when it had a live band, and the place was jam packed with corporate people unwinding after a hard day.
Kelly knew enough about her father's job never to call him or one of his team or a colleague by their real name in public, if she saw them and they weren't planning to meet. But if Tim was undercover, then that meant that her father and the rest of his team had to be nearby. She scanned the room with her peripheral vision, the way her father had taught her and saw Ziva, sitting on Tim's lap. Not the way a girlfriend or date would sit. But straddling him. Tony was sitting opposite Tim and Ziva, paying no attention to them, as he chatted with the man beside him. He occasionally gestured to Tim and Ziva, but for the most part, Ziva was undulating on Tim's lap, whispering in his ear with her arms looped around his neck. Tim's hands were high on Ziva's thighs and butt, occasionally slipping under the short skirt she was wearing, as they played their part in the undercover part.
"Looks like tall, Irish and sexy caught your eye?" Annabelle cackled at her, nudging her friend. Kelly hadn't realised that she had been staring at Tim and Ziva for so long. Long enough for Annabelle to notice. She really shouldn't have done that. She could have put whatever operation they were working on at risk.
"I was actually wondering if they were screwing or if he was just fingering her." Kelly laughed in reply. She didn't want to admit the truth to Annabelle, that she was right. Tim had caught her eye a little more than usual. She admitted to herself, that Ziva looked like she was enjoying Tim's ministrations on her body, too.
"If you're wondering that, let's get you signed up now." Annabelle laughed out loud. She had been best friends with Kelly long enough to know that Kelly was thinking about the tall, sexy, irish man from the bar. "It's time to get you laid."
Chapter three
Tim was sitting at home; Gibbs had told them to pack it in over three hours ago. Tim, Tony and Ziva had been on an op tonight. Tim had played the wealthy, deliriously happy client who had purchased a sex slave from Tony's undercover persona. They were tracking and tracing a sex trafficking ring. The FBI had brought them in when the latest girl who turned up was a navy ensign. Fornell and Gibbs had been in the surveillance truck and when the three of them returned to the truck, Fornell and Gibbs smirked at Tim, impressed with his undercover skills. He had come a long way from his green probie days.
Ziva and he had grabbed a late dinner at the wood fried pizzeria in Silver Spring. They didn't discuss the op, or what they had done. They deliberately avoided Tony after the op, which hadn't been easy. Ziva not in the mood to deal with him and Tim hoping not to hear his running commentary and derogatory barbs.
Now he was home, freshly showered and changed. He was going to unwind before bed. Tim logged on to his MMORPG, but it held little interest. He gave up and went and crawled into bed, but couldn't sleep. He picked up his phone and stared at it. It was only 2330 hours. The icon for the dating app taunting him. Tony had created the account last weekend and Tim hadn't looked at it beyond Tony showing him the basics of how the app worked.
Tim found himself browsing. After seeing a few older women and realising he needed to set the filter with the age and location parameters. Not seeing anything that caught his eyes, he tapped the new members icon and began browsing. Seeing if anyone sparked his interest.
Kelly was laying in bed, she couldn't get the image of seeing Ziva undulating on Tim's lap out of her head. Tim had looked unbelievably sexy tonight. She didn't know that her father's geeky probie agent who was shy and occasionally flirted with her, could be so hot. Without thinking, she grabbed her phone off the nightstand and tapped on the dating app that they had installed tonight.
After their drinks, Kelly and Annabelle had come back to Kelly's apartment and they had both signed up for the dating app together. Annabelle, hoping to meet someone and Kelly just to shut Annabelle up. Now she found herself tapping the app open on her phone, as she lay there trying to sleep. She set the search filters and tapped on the search button.
Cruising the list of members that meet her criteria, she scoured the list of men available to chat with. Her phone was beeping constantly with notifications. Men wanting to send her a message, men sending nude pictures of themselves, men wanting to connect. It didn't take long for her to silence the notifications and she began cruising through the list of new members.
Kelly saw one guy who looked like a guy she had gone to high school with and almost messaged him. She couldn't believe the amount of married men on this app. No wonder the divorce rates were as high as they were. Seeing one picture that caught her eye, she clicked on the profile. The picture was of a Harley Davidson and when she brought up his profile and read his kinks, she quickly closed it. He was a hard no.
Seeing a picture of a tiger cub, one of the site's generic images, it was a surprise. She was almost afraid of what the profile contained. They guy sounded sweet and genuine. TinyTechTiger, it sounded like something cute and fluffy, a pseudonym screen name that someone like Tim would use. Smiling as she thought about Tim and how sweet he was. How always got embarrassed and blushed bright red when he flirted with her, or if she embarrassed him. She wasn't a platinum member, so she clicked the flirt button, hoping he would click her on her profile. So they could chat. Three minutes later, a message popped up on her screen. It wasn't an unsolicited nude photo, a lewd selfie or a dirty, sleazy, derogatory pick up line. It was a short of sweet message of hey.
Kelly sent a smiley face emoji back, surprised that she had received. She hadn't been expecting a reply.
Chapter four
Tim received twenty or thirty flirts in the first hour of him being logged on. None of the women flirting with him sparked anything in him, when he looked at their profiles. Or tried to look. Some of them were blocked and some were gold members and he was unable to see anything. FoxyDuchess seemed normal to him, safe. He figured he'd be best off starting with someone more in his league.
Tim asked himself out loud, "What to write?" His mind was a blank right now. Usually, when he met a woman, he'd strike up a conversation over something around them. Their location, the weather, the song, or the drink; anything really. But online, it was just a void. He asked himself what Tony would do. As soon as he thought about what his friend would actually do, he shut that idea down. A witty, charming, and fake pickup line would never work. Finally, he asked himself, "How would it be if this was just one of my MMORPGs?" So, he decided to just keep it casual and said, "Hey."
He was surprised when, a minute or so later, he received a reply. A simple greeting, accompanied by a smiling emoji. Ever the gentleman, he asked her how her evening was going. He noted that he had not yet uploaded an actual photo of himself onto his profile, nor had she. But that didn't matter. Looks never mattered to Tim. Plus, he wasn't even sure a profile picture was a good idea, given his job or his books. He didn't want to get recognized as Thom E Gemcity.
Time seemed to fade into the background as the two of them began a mundane conversation, steering clear of anything personal such as names, jobs, hobbies, family, or where they lived. With a later than usual bedtime approaching, Tim regretfully typed a sweet good night message to his new friend. Her reply was short and sweet, asking if they could keep in touch. Tim sent through the new web-based email address that he had made so Tony could register him for this site, and she sent a smiley face in return.
As he tossed his cell back onto the bedside table, his phone beeped, letting him know that he had received a new email in his web-based email inbox. Sighing, he reached back for his phone and typed in his passcode to unlock his phone. Once unlocked, he found the hidden, tucked away app on the back screen and opened it up. He entered his password and set up a biometric access lock on it and opened up the app. The sender's ID said Kelsey N/A sent him an email. Opening it, it was simply a smiley face and a short note to say that she hoped this wasn't a fake email address.
Tim quickly set out his reply, stating that it wasn't fake and that his screen name was TinyTechTiger. He already knew from when he had set up the web-based email address that the sender's name would come up as Tom N/A. For anonymity purposes, there was absolutely nothing wrong with this; after all, this dating app was linked to this particular email address.
Chapter five
Kelly was excited to see an email reply from the man she had been chatting with last night in her inbox. They had spoken about nothing, but the non-particulars and it was good. Conversation had flowed nicely, and they had both confessed that friends had put them up to joining the adults only, social media platform.
He hadn't said much in the email, just confirming that it was his email and that she hadn't been given a fake address. Kelly immediately wanted to reply, but right now, she needed to get a move on, or she was going to be late. She had a weekly breakfast date with her parents so they could criticize her life's choices and put pressure on her about finding someone and settling down already.
When she finally sat down after dinner with a glass of wine and her laptop, she opened the last email she had received from TinyTechTiger and hit reply.
Hello TinyTechTiger,
I am going to begin our conversation as if we were already in the middle of discussing something of nothingness. No politics, no families, no stress and no jobs. Just a whole bunch of random nothingness.
Like today, for instance, I could choose to tell you about my horrible day and how my job was an epic failure, and my parents were on my case. Instead, I can tell you that I spent my lunch hour at the mall, where I wished that I could just get lost in the crowd. So, I ducked into Barnes and Noble, looking for a book to lose myself in. Oh, I lost myself in it, I looked up and realised that my lunch hour was over two hours ago, and I snuck back into my job like I had gone for coffee. The bad thing was, they didn't even notice that I was missing. What if something had happened to me? Am I invisible?
So, I told my boss a lie and ducked out early, I took my book, and I went home. For the first time ever in my post collegian life, I refused to take any of the day's mess home with me. I felt liberated.
It was like a new me. I felt separated from who I currently am, like I am transitioning to who I am yet to become. Is it possible to change who you are meant to be, this early in life? To care more about who you really are, than who people think you are? These are the kind of things that I ponder.
Of course, that could because I am nearly finished the bottle of wine and I am regretting only buying one. Such a sad pity party here. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't write back.
FoxyDuchess
Kelly reread her email; it sounded lame. But she took it as a test, if he ghosted her after this, then he was a loser and couldn't handle the real her.
Chapter six
Tim was finally home, and it had been a disasterous day. Abby had put Gibbs in an awful, snappy mood that kept everyone away from Gibbs, and his team. Ziva had been in a bad mood, something to do with men in general and she had taken it out on him, Gibbs and Tony. Especially Tony. Which in turn had put Tony a snarky mood and that mood had landed right on Tim.
It had been so awful; Tim hadn't been able to wait to get out of the office. To retreat to the safety of his apartment and the solitude of his home. Where no one took their bad moods out on him, where no one went above and beyond to make sure their boss made their life miserable all because he didn't want to escort them to a heavy metal concert. No wonder that Tim had left the squad room, as soon as Gibbs had snapped at them and told them that they could leave. Tim hadn't even sent a second glance over his shoulder, even when Tony had thrown the derogatory insult at him for rushing out the door.
Letting himself into his apartment, Tim switched his computer on and started stripping off his clothes as he stowed his weapon and credentials in his biometric lockbox by his bed and headed for his shower. After the shower, Tim assessed the contents of his fridge, seeing that he had some left-over chicken and corn soup from his Chinese two nights ago. Giving it a sniff, he determined that it was still good and popped it in the microwave to heat up.
With his soup and a sandwich eaten, he made his way over to his computer. The first order of business was to check his email addresses. Yes, both of them. He was sure that the woman he had been chatting with online would have sent him something.
Sure enough, he was surprised to see that she had replied. Not just a one or two-word reply, but more than one paragraph reply.
It wasn't until he had re-read the email for the third time that he realised he was grinning. She sounded sweet and kind. Immediately, he hit reply and began to type.
FoxyDuchess,
Being alone in the world is probably the most honest, yet hardest things that we, as humans can do. We are, as a species, instinctively pack people, we need socialization. But invisibility, it has its perks and more than not, most days, I wish I was invisible. The ability to not be seen.
As much as you were invisible, today I had an omnipresence that I could not escape from. It was one of those days where it that followed me everywhere. In my world, today it rained PMS, hormonal rage, snarkiness, pettiness and disappointment in the form of all of my normal interactions with people. It rained all those feelings from the people that surround me, and it all landed on me. For some reason, I was the target of all their ire, rage, disappointment, snarkiness, pettiness and hormonal rage. Believe it or not, that was not all one person. I use the term hormonal rage loosely... And the men were worse than the women.
Maybe, there's a divine intervention that makes you invisible when you need it the most. As if how one less than stellar choice that I made today, somehow was the catalyst for everything negative in my world that happened to me today. But I choose to see the glass as half full.
Tomorrow has to be a better day. It just has to be.
TinyTigerTech
End of Part 1
