The rain was showing no signs of slowing as Luigi exited the dark alleyway physically in-tact, but mentally scarred. He held up Sara's umbrella with a sense of warmness embodying his person, not even caring that some droplets were seeping through. There was no time to worry about that anymore.
*dong* *dong*
His gaze, previously focused on nothing at all, turned towards the source of the noise, a rusty church bell. *dong* *dong* In front of him stood a crossroads in the form of the same bus stop he exited from. Luigi paused and stared at it for a while as he weighed his options.
*dong* Do I put on a brave face and continue? Would they believe me if I said I got into a knife fight? *dong* Should I give up and go back home? Oh, but if I do that, Mario would never let me hear the end of it… not to mention the consequences from my boss. *dong*What would Sara think if I told her I just gave up that easily?
"I know what I must do!" Luigi cried out to the heavens. With that, a final *dong* sounded as Luigi's dress shoes crashed into a series of puddles.
It was a pleasant enough bus ride, considering what had happened before. At this point, Luigi was thankful for any kind of public transportation, punctual or otherwise. He sat quietly amid a panicked crowd of passengers, opting to remove his wristwatch as to avoid thinking about how undeniably late he was. In his mind, that was one less thing to worry about. This time, he knew exactly which stop to exit on and made a mental note not to make any detours.
Luigi remained laser-focused on his goal to get to work as his chestnut hair bounced with determination with every step. Finally, he was met with what he was looking for this whole time. To any average onlooker, the hastily painted blue-on-white sign with "Ted's Appliances" written in faux-cursive would not be anything out of the ordinary in urban living, but to Luigi, this sign meant so much more. It meant independence, freedom from his brother breathing down his neck taunting, "When're you gonna make it big, big shot?" or "I thought being upwardly-mobile meant having a job that's NOT in fast food!"
The image of Mario laughing at him was on repeat until he reached for the clear glass door. Upon opening the door, a little bell rang. Luigi breathed in the air of the store, surveying the rows and rows of wood-finish refrigerators, but his search was cut short by a shorter man in a burgundy vest frantically scurrying towards him.
"THERE you are! C'mon, Ted's been waiting all morning for you! Haven't you got any idea what time it is? I mean, really, isn't this your first day? You'd think someone like you would have a little more respect for other people's time, especially in this day and age. As Ted says, 'Time is money!' so if you're not on time, you're not making any money, and that makes us really sad. Any questions?"
"I…"
Luigi's thought was promptly cut off. "And I mean, LOOK at you! You're hardly in condition to be selling the latest and greatest in consumer electronics! What even happened to you to get all dirty like that?" The short man examined Luigi's dampened attire with squinted, beady eyes. And fair enough, what was one a finely pressed gray suit now sported unseemly splotches of nauseating browns, darkened by the pouring rain. His lucky green necktie was in a sorry state as well, as it was painted with the same dirty finish as his other clothes were. "What, did someone jump you or something? You poor thing!" His sarcasm was as subtle as the thunder crashes outside.
"Well…"
"I don't care! Let me take you to the boss… and what the heck is THAT?" He took off his awkwardly oversized rectangle frames and held them over the daisy hanging from Luigi's lapel. Other than a couple of petals missing, the flower was still in good shape despite all that happened.
"Oh this?" Luigi pointed towards his daisy. "This is my good luck charm… I bet I do not look that lucky right now, do I?" An eyebrow raised as Luigi saw the other man shuffle away, clearly not interested in anything he had to say. After brushing his shoes off on the "Thank You, Come Again!" mat by the door, Luigi walked cautiously through the store, spying all the expensive machinery. From fans, to speakers, to microwave ovens, Luigi shuddered as he glanced at the price tags attached to each item.
A few onlookers spotted this drenched fellow and snickered to themselves. "So that's the new guy?" squeaked a fellow employee, dressed in a garish shade of yellow.
"What a klutz! He's not gonna last long around here." chuckled a young girl with bows in her hair and way too much lipstick on.
"What d'ya ssssay we give him a warm welcome?" another voice spoke up. This one coming from a taller teenager with glasses and a bizarre, spiky hairdo.
Luigi thought he might have heard something, but before he could wonder what it was, he found himself face-to-face with a gigantic padded red door. A gawdy plaque floated above the gilded handle. "Ted's Office" it read. Standing by the door, much to Luigi's dismay, was the short, bespectacled man. "What took you?" he asked impatiently. Luigi remained silent as he turned away and began knocking on the office door.
It was at this point that Luigi finally got a good look at the shorter man's nametag, which read "Bobby" and underneath, a label with "13 years of service" written on it. Luigi's examination was cut short by the sudden snarling and barking of what seemed to be a large dog. Luigi let out a shriek as he fell to the floor, which caused Bobby to explode into laughter.
"What? Who is it?" A well-built man wearing a sharp almost metallic black suit violently swung opened the door. As the figure stepped out light from the fluorescent bulbs above reflected off of his perfectly round, bald head. He was much taller than Luigi and cast a shadow over him as he peered down to the unwashed man cowering before him.
"Who the hell is this?" He stood in disbelief before Luigi and a still giggling Bobby. As he spoke, Luigi noticed his strangely protuberant teeth that were in a perpetual shit-eating grin, oh so common to the profession.
"Mr. Theodore, this is your new employee. It doesn't matter what his name is."
"What a strange name!" he guffawed heartily. "But what's in a name, anyway? I think the bard said that one!" He let out a hand the size of a small plate and reached out towards Luigi. His grip practically crushed Luigi's hand as he managed to pull the surprised mustachioed man up with just one arm. "Thank you kindly, Bobby. I'll take it from here!" Upon the request, Bobby marched dutifully towards the lamps section.
"Come into my office, son, and don't mind Roxy. She's our very own security dog!" Luigi's attention was brought toward a growling, jet-black rottweiler attached to a pole in the floor by an ill-fitting chain collar. "Please have a seat. I hope Bobby wasn't too hard on you; he tends to have a real short fuse! Now normally, I'd ask how your commute was, but judging by your wardrobe, I think I can fill in the gaps." Luigi's face burnt up into a pink blush.
"Mr. Theodore, I had zero intention of coming in late. I was attacked by a couple of gangsters." Luigi began sweating, desperately wanting Mr. Theodore to believe him.
Mr. Theodore's unmoving grin turned downwards. "Ah, so how did you escape, hmm?" He turned his ear towards Luigi.
"I… I… I called the cops!" Luigi blurted out, sweat trickling down his back.
"Ah, so you let someone else handle it? That tells me a lot about you already!" Luigi's eyes widened, wondering what on Earth could be meant by that. "Well, you seemed to impress Camilla enough during the interview, but I'm not so easy to please. So, in the meantime, you'll work for me, but no one will know your name. Until you prove to me how reliable you are, you'll just be Mr. L. Got it?"
"What does the 'L' stand for?" I don't remember telling anyone my name.
"'Loser!' It stands for 'Loser!'" The hulking man nearly choked from laughing at his own joke. "Now get out there, Mr. L! We just got some new toasters that need shelving!"
"…yes sir…" were the only words Luigi could muster up the courage to say as he stood up and turned around, creeping cautiously around Roxy.
"Hold up a sec, L! I've got something for you!" Luigi turned around to see Mr. Theodore take a notecard off his desk and begin scribbling something on it in Sharpie. Once he was finished, he stuck a piece of tape to the back and handed it to Luigi.
"Hello, I'm Mr. L." was written in hurried, smeared pen strokes. Luigi reluctantly took the card and attached it to his still soaking wet clothes.
"Alright! You're good to go!" Mr. Theodore barked as Luigi exited his office with the door practically slamming behind him, followed by Roxy yipping and hollering.
Luigi's face seemed glued to the floor as he struggled with each step. The discolored floor tiles haphazardly arranged in random patterns became hypnotic as a slow, droning song played over one of the new speaker systems on display. Stretching on for miles and miles, the floor reached a sudden conclusion with an all too familiar sight, "Thank You, Come Again!" His head finally started to lift up to spot nothing but gray clouds and erratic winds on the other side of the glass door. Luigi reached his hand out to its cold, steely doorknob.
"Hey new guy! Where d'ya think you're going?" A shrill voice greeted Luigi's back.
"Don't think you can just walk out on work, dummy!" An equally grating voice joined the chorus.
"That'ssss right! You sssshould conssssider yoursssself lucky! We'll sssshow you the ropessss!" slithered another from the throng.
Three shadows cast down onto a frightened Luigi, hand still on the knob. The shortest of the three approached him. "C'mon, Mr. L! We don't bite!" Luigi looked up to see their nametags, "Lemmy" "Wendy" "Iggy"
