I know it has been months and I do apologize. This one is short because I needed to break what've I've been working on into sections or else this chapter would be novella in itself. More to come in the next few days, hopefully. We'll be getting into some of Anthony's wartime activities and that has taken some time to research events a bit.


Edith's leave taking nearly broke them both. Malcolm went to the train station with them to manage her luggage but slid away quietly once his task was done to let them have a moment together before she boarded. At Henry's suggestion earlier, Malcolm stood in the shadows, ready to take the Major in hand should he need assistance.

"I'll write as soon as I'm home," Edith said softly as she looked up into Anthony's forlorn face.

"Yes, please do. But perhaps you might phone to let me know you've arrived safely?"

"The moment I step into Locksley's entry," she assured him.

Anthony smiled at that. "You have no idea how much it means to me that you look upon Locksley as your home, sweet one."

"Wherever you are is my home, my darling. And Locksley is so full of your presence, even when you are not there. I'll be comforted being surrounded by your things."

"I wish we weren't parting…" Anthony said.

"I do too, but we both know things will be better for you after this. When you come home again, you'll be so much stronger."

"If you say so, my dear. I'm afraid I feel that this separation will be the last straw."

A whistle blew from down the way, signaling that it was time for passengers to board. Anthony saw Edith to her carriage where she turned to kiss him, a long sweet kiss that had him almost boarding the train with her. But he remembered his duty and so reluctantly stepped back to watch as she sat next to the window. Sadly, he stood on the platform and watched as the train pulled away, taking his love away from him. As the last of the cars disappeared from sight, he sighed heavily feeling empty. It was then that he sensed Malcolm at his elbow which oddly made him feel even weaker.

Edith did phone when she reached Locksley. Upon replacing the receiver on the cradle, Anthony fled to his room where he closed the door and wept. How can I do this without her? It was a thought that had been with him constantly since Rivers had told them it would be necessary.

For the next week, Anthony lived for the post. Finally, after an agonizing three days, her first letter arrived. He'd spent a great deal of his afternoon in his room, reading and rereading every line. Most of it was about mundane things at Locksley, cook had burnt the carrots, a cow had calved, one of the tenant's son had come back and was helping out at that farm… ordinary. Yet he relished every word written in her neat hand.

But it was her last few lines that he cherished most. Oh my darling, I do miss you so much. It is as I said it would be, you are here in every nook and cranny. Yet, you are not here. I long for your gentle voice, the simplest of touches, the sweetest kisses, and most especially for our amorous time alone at night. I ache to feel you holding me close, whispering your tenderness as we become one. Please my darling, write to me often. I shall linger over every word and caress each one just as I long to caress you. Oh my darling man, you are very much missed…

He went to his sessions with Dr. Rivers every day where they talked. Well, Rivers talked mostly. He went over Anthony's service record delving into every place name and incident. Some of the places were familiar from the stories he'd heard from other soldiers at Downton but he felt nothing on hearing the names and had little to say. There were several places that he didn't recognize, places neither he nor Rivers knew about. None of it seemed to stir any memories or feelings of any sort. By the end of the first week, Anthony was feeling hopeless.

"I don't see how this is helping," Anthony complained. "You said you could help me."

"I also warned that it would take time," Dr. Rivers replied.

"Yes, but… it seems so useless. All it is doing is keeping me away from Edith."

Edith wrote daily and Anthony tried to do the same. Some days, however, his despair after the useless sessions with Rivers left him too drained and he simply returned to his room where he collapsed into fitful slumber.

The Browns were very kind and supportive, Mrs. Brown holding a plate of food on those worst days, keeping it warm until he could manage to eat. Henry and Malcolm helped in other ways, taking care of small tasks for him and sometimes Malcolm helped Anthony with the finishing touches of his appearance. Buttons were still a challenge, as were his ties. Lacing his boots was an impossibility with the use of only one arm. All three of the Brown siblings were known to lend helping hands with that task. Henry even joked once about the laces being no match for two one armed men. It was awkward but the Brown family cheerful helpfulness made it bearable. Young Elizabeth even distracted him in the evenings by asking him to help her with her studies. She'd teased one evening that her mistress at school didn't know what to think of the essay she'd written using all the "posh" words and phrases that Anthony had taught her, and her math scores had improved, she'd informed him. Yes, life in the Brown household was bearable, though he still lived and breathed for every word from Edith.

Two and a half weeks had passed. Edith had been down for a day on the weekend, which had been blissful and worth the low spirits after she left. They'd spent most of the day in his rooms, simply glad to be in one another's company, in or out of his usually lonely bed. Everyone under the Brown roof had given them their privacy, keeping away from the reunited couple. And after Edith left, everyone had been equally watchful of Anthony's mood, finding excuses to draw him out when he seemed too low. Had Anthony been able to think about anything beyond his Edith, he might have realized how very sensitive the whole family had become to his needs and how attentive they were. As it was, he merely passed the days since the weekend in a haze.