Chapter 36: Cafeteria Conversation
In the SOLDIER cafeteria, SOLDIER Third Class Zack Fair scraped the last spoonful of chocolate goodness from his sixth pudding cup. He eyed the line of refrigerators against the far wall, considering a seventh. Would that be gluttonous? His mom might say so, but he was a growing teenager and a SOLDIER! He needed the calories so he could build up his strength, otherwise he'd never make First Class. Pudding cups were essential to life.
Then again, there was also a selection of fruit pies on display, along with some tasty looking slices of cake. Maybe he could indulge in both?
Oh, yeah, that's what he'd do. Perfect. He got up and headed over to the row of refrigerated dessert bars. On a thick layer of chunky ice cubes lay his treasures: precut slices of cuberry pie and kookadoba cake! Perfect.
He took two of each.
Most boring civilians might consider pie and cake inappropriate for breakfast, but SOLDIERs needed the extra calories. That's what Zack told himself. Besides, the cafeteria was open all hours, because SOLDIERs and support personnel worked a twenty-four by seven schedule. People ate whatever meal they wanted at any hour of the day. As a result, the cafeteria stocked a variety of foods with no regard to traditional mealtimes. Zack had seen SOLDIERs demolishing pizza at five in the morning and pancakes at eight at night, and felt there was no reason why he couldn't indulge in the morning's bounty as he pleased.
He'd already put away a healthy meal of salmon, rice, an omelet, soup, juice, and even several varieties of vegetables, so why not finish it off with a sweet?
Or a lot of sweets. Zack sniggered, but didn't put any of his desserts back.
Balancing the four dessert plates precariously in his arms, he made his way back to his table. He'd almost gotten there when fellow Third Class Kunsel waylaid him with a newspaper.
"Have you seen the latest this morning?" Kunsel said, thrusting the paper in Zack's face. "I didn't think it could get worse. What do you know about this?"
One of Zack's plates slipped off his arm and crashed to the floor. Both SOLDIERs jumped. After recovering, Zack stared mournfully at his lost kukodoba dessert, now a splattered mess of purple chunks, mashed cake, lavender frosting, and broken ceramic. What a waste. At least he still had another slice.
"Oh, sorry," Kunsel said, not sounding apologetic at all.
Zack grumbled. Not just about the cake, but also the horrible headlines that jumped out at him. It was tough being known as the budding protégé of the current Shinra pariah. Everyone wanted to know all the gory details about Angeal and his centerfold. No one believed Zack when he said he hadn't even started his new training yet and that he really didn't know anything.
He juggled his remaining three desserts skillfully, maneuvered to his table, and placed everything down without further incident. Behind his chair, a cafeteria employee hurried to clean up the mess.
Kunsel sat down and set the latest edition of The Midgar Mirror on the table.
The headlines almost made Zack lose his appetite. Almost.
The front page of the "Special Morning Edition" proclaimed:
ANGEAL FAKED HIS OWN CENTERFOLD!
* Power Ploy to Gain Sympathy and Support
* Seeks Leverage To Unseat Sephiroth And Take Top Spot!
* Sephiroth Claims He's Brought Dishonor To SOLDIER, Demands Court-Martial!
The paper had used the same image of Sephiroth as before, when it had revealed the centerfold to the world: His mouth was open and his arms were raised as if gesturing, with the background blurred. For Angeal, the picture had been cut from his centerfold. It showed his face, neck, and the top of his bare shoulders.
"At least they aren't still using the entire picture," Zack said.
"Look inside," Kunsel said with a smirk.
Zack flipped the tabloid open to the rest of the story, and there it was: the slightly censored version of the centerfold in all its embarrassing glory.
"This trash should be used to start dumpster fires," he muttered, skimming the article. He shoved pie in his mouth and swallowed without tasting the sweet cuberry filling. "Or line birdcages. Let the birds crap all over it."
"So by that I can assume it's not true that Angeal faked his own picture?" Kunsel queried. His lips had turned up into a lopsided smile.
"I can't believe this! You know better than anyone that nothing like that is going on!" He jabbed a finger at another picture cleverly chosen to make Sephiroth look enraged, but was probably just an unflattering still taken from some boring speech or another.
Kunsel snickered.
It always seemed to Zack that Kunsel knew everything happening around SOLDIER, and now his friend's expression indicated that he thought the current disaster was funny. Zack most definitely did not think it was funny. "You're just yanking my chain, right? You always know everything."
"I haven't seen or heard any evidence that Sephiroth is trying to get Angeal court-martialed and kicked out, if that's what you're asking," Kunsel admitted. "Nor vice versa, either. If they're at each other's throats, they're good enough actors to keep this new, mutual hatred of theirs the biggest secret on the Planet." He grabbed Zack's untouched plate of cuberry pie and calmly started eating.
"Hey, that's mine!"
"You took enough for four people. Go get another one if you're still hungry."
"Fine." Zack scooped up and swallowed several big bites of his remaining piece of kookadoba cake before Kunsel could swipe it, saying, "Those headlines don't even make sense. Why would Angeal humiliate himself to dethrone Sephiroth, anyway? What good would public embarrassment like that do? It's bizarre."
"I suppose that's what the sympathy angle is about. The writer was obviously working pretty hard to come up with something the less intelligent members of the public might buy into."
"It's bizarre," Zack repeated.
"I'd tell you it's just a sleazy tabloid running an equally sleazy, nonsensical narrative and that it deserves to be ignored, but it's not exactly harmless, is it?"
"It's just fiction about a rift between Angeal and Sephiroth." Zack scanned through the story. Clearly, the writer had only done minimal research about how SOLDIER operated and was structured. It wasn't like Sephiroth ran the place; he was the strongest, most senior and visible operative, but he actually did very little when it came to organization, leadership, and overall command unless assigned to run a specific task force. Why would anyone think there was anything special about his job for Angeal to steal?
The limelight and accolades? The public heroism? Sure, that made sense from a certain point of view, especially for anyone who didn't know Angeal personally. Many people, Zack included, joined SOLDIER because they wanted to be a glorious hero like Sephiroth. He was amazing! The face of victory! Who wouldn't want to be like him? Or even better, like him and Angeal combined. That would truly be the ultimate! For all the great things said of Sephiroth, no one claimed he matched Angeal's well-known sense of honor, duty, and even warrior spirituality.
But stealing Sephiroth's actual, mundane, day-to-day job itself? Why would Angeal bother with that? Their everyday duties were pretty much the same.
Weird.
"Read between the lines," Kunsel advised. "This isn't the end of the story. They're creating a new narrative and plan to drag it out as long as possible."
"You know, I figured it would blow over soon, what with everyone reporting that the centerfold was fake. Angeal even texted me that his special assignment was finishing up and we could start training in another couple weeks or so. I haven't got any official confirmation yet, but I'm sure it's coming soon."
"You mean you hope it's coming soon." Kunsel tapped the newspaper. "This latest attack is the warmup for something bigger. It might delay things."
"Again." Zack shook his head. He liked to think he wasn't a complete idiot—and besides, Angeal wasn't a very good liar.
Zack might be oblivious much of the time, and he might not be a snoop and gossip like Kunsel, but he wasn't completely incapable of observing events and putting two and two together. Angeal's "classified assignment coordinating with the Turks" combined with that centerfold exposé in The Midgar Mirror a few weeks ago? And now, the way it had been revealed to be a fake and with all the experts piling on to present their own findings that, yes, that picture was definitely, positively, absolutely manufactured? Duh.
He didn't need to be a rocket scientist to figure out that Angeal's "special assignment" had been part of a cleanup operation.
But now?
"Instead of abandoning their latest cash cow, the Mirror's just changed course," Kunsel said to him. "Now that the legitimate experts are denouncing the centerfold, the gossips are moving on to a new narrative. Was anyone besides you really naïve enough to believe they'd just drop it and that it would disappear from the face of the Planet immediately?"
"Whaddaya mean, besides me? I'm not naïve!"
Kunsel actually bit his lip, and Zack controlled a sudden urge to hit him. Kunsel didn't answer the question, instead saying, "Follow the money, Zack. They aren't going to let it go until they've milked it dry."
"Maybe Shinra will sue them."
"Maybe." Kunsel didn't sound convinced.
Zack didn't want to think too hard about it.
Note: Cuberries and kookadobas are two types of fruits in the Slime Rancher videogame. It was my obsession for a long time, so naturally I made mention of it (though I took some liberties as kookadobas are described as "an acquired taste")!
Next time: Veld is not a happy camper.
