Kakashi

As I drove home the hatred of leaving Sakura alone consumed me. Even if it was her request, I wasn't supposed to be leaving. Looking in the rearview mirror I could see them talking and finally entering the house. Did I make the right choice? What did Itachi want? What would his intentions be with Sakura? These questions swirled in my head, why he came back, and he didn't come back with an apology and a peace treaty, that I could feel. Was I jealous? Was that what burned in my chest? Why was I so bothered? I knew Sakura was capable of handling this, but I wanted to be there for her. I couldn't lose her, now that I finally found someone, I found her.

The street was busy, it was a late Saturday. People were on the street, hanging out, dating, having fun... The cold breeze that touched my fingers that were outside the car window for a moment reminded me of my touch on her. My cold hand snuggling into that warm body and giving me the feeling of home. A place where I was welcome, where I was entirely wanted. How could my body already miss you? I wondered how I could live so many years without her. I didn't think that I would experience an overwhelming passion right now. I'm old for that. I needed to think of something else urgently. But just remembering her teary eyes. Damn, how that hurt in here.

As my head was buzzing with these thoughts, I realized that it wasn't long before I got home, as much as I was driving in a rage, I avoided being totally consumed by my emotions, I didn't want to cause an accident. But I was blind, I was on automatic. When I arrived and entered my apartment, I went straight to the bathroom to take a cold shower and get that feeling out of my body. Calm me down. The adrenaline that coursed through my veins and made my stomach churn was still there. Unfortunately I was dealing with a situation beyond my control. Not even on my missions did I get like that, that's all because it's about her. When it's Sakura we're talking about I get completely different.

I felt the tiny droplets of water touch every part of my body, I couldn't stop think about her and the night we spent together. My body feeling hers, all over. For a lifetime, I don't remember feeling this way before, not even with Mitsuki, who I believed was the love of my life. It was tasty, sensitive, overwhelming and I felt that there was something more, I felt that we were made for each other. Like a puzzle. A Yin and a Yang. Like she fit me perfectly, like she was made for it. And when I left, I felt that a part of me was left, my heart. She had it in her hand. And she hardly knew it.

Tomorrow we will go to the country house, I asked and she accepted. She accepted. Now that I have her by my side, I never want her to leave. The intensity with which I am feeling these things still frightens me. It's been a long time since the last time. The depth with which I feel things is not the same as how Sakura feels. But it wasn't time to think about me, I couldn't be so narcissistic like that. I wanted to know about her, it had been more than two hours since I had left her at home, could it be that Itachi was still there? And if so, why? And if not, what did Sakura do to make him leave? I want to know if she's okay, if she's still crying, if her heart is still whole.

All that anguish was consuming me, making me delirious. Fuck. The hatred in my blood coursed, and everything I promised Ino seemed to be in vain. And speaking of her, was she still with the Kazekage? If she knew Itachi was at her house, I can't even tell what she would be capable of. With a little training she would become as deadly as Itachi is. Was Sakura going to tell her that he was there today? Would she tell that to Ino? Ino would kill me. Probably thinking I'd broken my promise to her... But it was far from that. I can't control Sakura, and neither can she. Sakura has to make her own decisions whether they are good or not. But I wanted her to choose me.

I didn't want to seem too needy for her, even if that's the truth, plus I'm afraid I'll go too fast and it'll end as quickly as it started. But I wouldn't be able to sleep until I called her. I picked up the phone and looked at her number, read the messages we exchanged over the days. I looked at her picture. I needed to call her.

CALL ON

- Sakura? - I said low and longed for your answer

- Kakashi... - she replied low and I felt her crying voice

- Everything is fine? - I was immensely worried about her..

- I'm packing for tomorrow - Sakura didn't answer my question, she sniffed with her nose, I knew she was crying

- If you want, we don't need to go, I'm worried about you - I was honest

- Of course I want to go, if possible I don't want to go home too - she laughed and was ironic, she knew how to take advantage of any situation - Thank you for your concern... I'll certainly be better tomorrow just being with you

- Sakura... - I was thoughtful - Tomorrow we'll talk better

- All right.. - she spoke low - Just please, don't leave my life, not now okay?

- I would never think of that - I said firmly - Not for a moment - and she hung up

CALL OFF

It was the last thing I said and she hung up. As much as I wanted it, things just didn't work out my way and once again, I could lose someone. I took that risk. Once again, my heart will be torn to pieces, and if it were, I don't think there would be any turning back. Not after Sakura. The rest of the night was hell. Not that there's insomnia one day if it ever left me, it only gave me a break when I slept with Sakura. Her breathing calmed me down, the warmth of her body next to mine and as hard as it was to admit, she worked like a medicine for me. For all the pain and all the depressive thoughts that dwelled here. The way I'm thinking seems sick to me, I would never act like that with her. But things are much more complex. And in the end, it all just seems like a game.

I'm not dependent on her, but she seems like a drug to me and that's the effects of passions. From those intense passions, those that you only live on a summer night or those that take your breath away at all times, and for once, you feel entirely that person. As if there were only you and her, in the whole world. That's how I feel. That's how I've been feeling. I'm just afraid of what will happen when this is all over. Will this turn into love or will we go back to being unknown? I couldn't tell. I wish I could. I wanted to take her pain away and put it on me. I wanted her to be happy, forever.

As much as I tried to sleep, I couldn't. My suitcase was already packed. Monday we would be back and the routine would separate us once again. This week I would do anything to be by her side, in fact, after that encounter with Itachi, she would need it. It makes my head spin just thinking about Sakura being pregnant... And worst of all, she was blamed for something she didn't do. While that side of my mind was thinking about all the things that could go wrong, my emotional one could only think about what a great mother Sakura would be. An wonderful mother, to be honest. The little I already know of her shows that and it must be exactly because of what she lived...

And that made me think about becoming a father. And I had never thought of that before, not even with Mitsuki. I'm not good with people in general, especially with children. But I thought that with her it would be possible and it would be amazing. And because of happy thoughts with Sakura, I managed to get some sleep.

The next morning...

I left the house very early, I was going to go to the market first to buy some things. I wanted to prepare a romantic dinner, pasta and wine, that was my specialty. With that house in its woody hue, it couldn't be more perfect. I still had a lot to talk about with her. I didn't want her to think I'd give up like that. Because I would never do that. What we have now is complicated because we just met. We are walking on eggshells. As he drove towards his house, the sun had already risen and it would be a beautiful Sunday, just for us. I must think the weather wouldn't be the best, due to the fact that she had met Itachi yesterday. And my alter ego was curious to know what had happened. I mentally made a list of possibilities, just because she saw me yesterday and insisted I show up today, I know it's not the worst possibility.

I was turning the corner of her street and I took out my cell phone to dial her number, but when I looked ahead she was there, waiting for me at seven o'clock. With a red backpack with a few things hanging on it, her outfit was as comfortable as possible. It was sunny but it was winter so the morning breeze was chilly. She wore low-waisted sweatpants and a sleeveless top, which briefly showed her lower belly. For me, it was the vision of paradise. She was heaven itself. I parked the car and got out. I walked towards her and she didn't even move. I stood in front of her and hugged her, she rested her head on my chest and I felt her hands holding me. It was all right now, honey. You can cry in peace. I felt her taking a deep breath. When she lifted her head and looked into my eyes.

- Good morning, Sakura - I said in a low voice.

- Morning, Kakashi - she gave a sideways smile but her face was tired

- And then? Let's go? - I asked and forced a smile too, I wouldn't let the mood get heavy

- Let's go - I took her hand and we walked to the car - Ready for our trip? - I asked as I opened the car and put her backpack on the back seat, she got in the car and put her hands on her face - What happened? What happened, my darling? - I asked when I got in the car

- Thank you for coming - she said through her tears, I lifted my hand and placed it on her face, drying her tears.

- Let's get out of here, okay? - I said after I released her and she smiled, a sincere smile this time.

The trip was smooth, there was no traffic, there weren't even any cars on the road we were on. The vast fields of plantations remained the same. Green and big. Sakura was sleeping in the passenger seat, it looked like she needed it. Her breathing wasn't heavy, it looked like she was at peace. Sakura looked like a true angel. I wonder how tired she was from last night. All the pressure she was suffering psychologically. Itachi's return would still reveal many things...

The morning sun streamed into the car through the windows. Causing Sakura's skin to heat up. As I looked at her I took a strand of her pink hair and tucked it behind her ear. Her face was flushed and a subtle smile played on her lips but her eyes remained closed. Before withdrawing my hand, her soft little palm touched mine...

- Don't stop... - she panted - This feels so good...

I gave a sideways smile and for the first time I wasn't wearing a mask, with it, I felt like this, totally free. There was no one around, it was just the two of us... I didn't feel ashamed, I could be there without whoever I wanted to be there with her. I didn't need to hide. I didn't need to worry. I wanted to live forever like this.

- Are we getting there yet? - she asked

- There's still a little bit to go.. - I said low - Sleep, I'll wake you up when we arrive

- Okay...

There was still an hour to go. I didn't want that moment to end... The two of us in that small space, the soft morning breeze coming through the window as I caressed her and peace reigned around us.

Sakura

I woke up with Kakashi taking things out of the car. As soon as I looked ahead, a beautiful and huge house made of wood was waiting for me. We were in the middle of a forest. A place full of trees, where even the oxygen felt light and not heavy like the city. Vast Konoha might not be as interesting to me as I had imagined. As soon as I remembered home, I thought about Itachi and all the things he said to me yesterday. My head still heavy on the small pillow I'd brought. No, I wouldn't think of that. Today was Sunday, with incredible weather and an incredible man. I looked at him through the car window. I could spend hours watching those Kakashi arms work.

Laziness took care of me, just like every Sunday. When I looked at the silver watch on my wrist, it said half past eight in the morning. It was still early for a Sunday, if I was home I would still be sleeping, just like Ino, Naruto, Hinata... I didn't see them yesterday, I locked myself in my room and didn't want to explain myself to anyone, and I didn't hear any noises today either. The rays of sunlight that hovered over the house made it look even more vivid and that's when I decided to get out of the car. I opened the door and a breath of fresh air came in my face, it was nice to feel. I glanced in the rearview mirror to make sure my face wasn't so… Tired.

Kakashi was already inside the house packing things up. We could both live there. No hassle and no worries. He was doing everything he could to make me feel good, and for the short time we'd known each other, I'd never seen that side of him. Zealous and caring. I walked along the path of stones that followed towards the house. The place around me was humid. But I felt my breathing light. My headache was gone and the longer I spent here the more I wanted to stay. It was beautiful and it was special to me. I opened the door and was impressed by the vastness of the house. It looked as huge on the inside as it was on the outside. Ino will tell me he had money, but was it that much money? He was a director of a university but I never thought of it like that. The kitchen that connected to the dining room was simply wonderful. He must have a great summer vacation here. Has he already brought other women here? Why was I thinking about that? Was I jealous? Could I name what I felt?

As soon as I entered I saw my backpack on the sofa with the rest of my things, I felt a delicious smell coming from the kitchen. On top of everything, did this man cook? Did he really exist? Ino was right, it was a mystery what he had seen in me... I appeared in the kitchen and he was wearing an apron that made him even sexier - God, can I spend the rest of my life here? - Seeing him in these vulnerable conditions made me feel comfort. He was going headlong into this "relationship" of ours. I thought it would be the same when we meet a new person but with him it's not like that. It seems like we've known each other for a while.

- Are you hungry? - I was taken out of my thoughts by Kakashi's voice, serious but smooth

- A little bit, I didn't eat anything before I slept - I said and gave a sideways smile.

- I'll make us both some breakfast - he looked at me and winked

- This house is beautiful - I said

- This house belonged to my father, we used to come here when I was a child - he said thoughtfully, was he being careful when choosing his words... Oh dear, I must have gotten onto some sensitive subject - Do you like her?

- It's amazing! - I said - And your father? If he gave you this house, where is he? - and at that time I still didn't know that I had asked the worst possible question

- He died, a long time ago - he said a little depressed, congratulations Sakura, first ball out

- I-I'm sorry, I didn't know... I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... - I was cut off

- No problem, really and by the way, I want you to get to know me better - he smiled - This is part of me

- So... - I said curiously - Tell me more about yourself... Yesterday in our meeting we were thinking about other things - we laughed - And what I know about you, I don't know if they are true or just rumors...

- What would you like to know? - he asked

- Everything... Is that too much to ask? - I laughed - But... How is a man like you not married? Good heavens, you're making me breakfast, no guy my age would do that to... - I didn't know exactly what I was at that point and I had to mention our age, didn't I? second ball out

- Actually, I was almost married once - he interrupted me for a moment

- Oh...- I was completely speechless

- I had other relationships... If that's what you want to know - he said - I almost got married like I said, once, but that takes time - I was surprised and once again I was reminded of our age difference

- And what was she like? - I asked curious, maybe I could learn some things, what to do and what not to do

- Are we really going to talk about this? - he questioned - I also want to know the story about Itachi but...

- Of course, in fact, we're getting to know each other... The past, the flaws... They are part of who we are today - I replied and hoped he understood

- Yes, right... - he lowered his head - Where do I start... Her name was Mitsuki, we were together for a long time... She helped me in times when I didn't have anyone to help me and I think that makes up most of it - she must have been a mature woman, much more interesting than me - We had known each other since we were kids, I thought she was the love of my life - I I noticed that he said things in the past tense

- We always thought so the first time... - I blurted out.

- Yeah... But I was wrong, things have changed, she has changed and not in a way I'd like to remember - he lifted his head and stared into my eyes, I felt intimidated

- And then? What happened? - I asked, I wanted to know more and more

- We started living together, we were building our life - he replied while stirring pots - I had just become principal at the university, I was getting used to it, but as we stabilized, I thought it was time to take another step... - he took a deep breath - I asked her to marry me, but she said no and left, I haven't seen her since

- That... Wow, I don't even know what to say... - I replied - So she also disappeared...

- Does that disrespect Itachi?

- Yes... Yesterday you - I got nervous - You witnessed this...

- And what happened yesterday? - he asked and I noticed his curiosity but also his concern, he had the right to know but I wasn't ready yet

- That's a past story... - I said low - It has nothing to do with you

- Anything you're worried about is in my best interest too - he said.

- That's a heavy story for another day, it involved more things than yours, unfortunately - I really didn't want to talk about it here - I don't want to ruin our day

- When you're ready to tell, I'll be ready to listen - he smiled - Shall we eat?

- Yes! - I said happily

Kakashi was respectful. He thought of me before anything else. On my well-being and how I feel. For our sakes, this conversation had better not go on for now. This day was not meant to be unpleasant. Not here. And not with him. I just wanted to think about good things, think about us. Smell him, kiss him, hug him... Only the best things.

His food was delicious. I really had won the lottery. He won me over in the small details, kindnesses he directed towards me. I always felt in control of every situation with him. He let me have that control. Let me make my decisions, respected myself for who I was and what I could be. It encouraged me. Seriously what man would buy a book to please a woman these days? He did it because he paid attention to me.

- The food is amazing! - I said, praising him - You cook wonderfully well!

- Made especially for you - he smiled and I blushed

- Thank you - I said

- What do you say we go to the lake? - he asked

- Lake? Is there a lake here? - I said in disbelief

- At the end of the trail, surrounded by trees - he completed - With the sun that is today it must be pleasant to enter

- Let's go! - I said excitedly but - I mean... I didn't bring a bathing suit, you didn't tell me anything about the lake

- You don't need to come in - he said - But if you want, you can just wear your underwear, there's only the two of us here - he didn't say maliciously, he was even friendly

We finished eating and I helped him with the dishes. I took my things and said I was going to go upstairs to change my clothes and he blushed, I don't know why, if he's already seen me completely without it. As embarrassing as it was to think about, I had to act like a grown woman. People have sex and that's normal, he's an older man, of course he does that. And with that body, he should do that a lot. I just needed to relax, like yesterday. And just thinking about his naked body by me, I paralyzed and felt a shiver. Our night was unforgettable. I have to stop thinking about it, he's right behind me. I could feel his presence.

The room he said I was supposed to go to was a huge double room. A beautiful bed and an incredible panoramic view, it felt like a hotel. He'd brought his luggage into this room as well, which meant he would stay here. We would stay here together. He left his things here and left. He said he would make room for me to change. I started taking things out of my backpack. I took two lingerie, I wasn't silly, I wanted to impress him. I picked her up and started taking off my clothes. But I wouldn't use a new one to go to the lake either, this black one of mine was pretty old. And it was comfortable too. At that moment I didn't care much, I wanted to be with him. And let's face it, if I asked him to buy me some, I'm pretty sure he'd show up with a box on my doorstep. While I was packing up and changing clothes I put on music on my cell phone, yesterday before going to sleep I started listening to this sound, it reminded me of him.

- Sakura... - he opened the door and froze at the time and then I realized... I hadn't put on the top yet so my breasts were completely showing - I'm sorry

- Kakashi - I called him, at that moment all my shyness had to be swallowed, he made the pressure in the room get bigger, he dominated that entire space, my chest tingled, I had to do this, after all, I would stay in a relationship where I wouldn't be on good terms with myself and my boyfriend? Wait, do I think of him as my boyfriend? This was real - Come in, come here - He opened the door again

- Sakura, I... - before he could finish talking I walked towards him

- What did you want to tell me? - I whispered as I wrapped my arms around his neck and I felt one of his hands firmly touching my waist, my chest sprawled against his

- Does it matter now? - he said

- I don't know? It matters? - she smiles maliciously - What do you think of the two of us... - I placed a kiss on her lips

At that moment he grabbed me in his lap. He was extremely strong and his arm was totally defined. He kept placing kisses on my neck as he carried me to the bed. Kakashi was tall. I felt completely intimidated, again. Not like other times. Alcohol helped me a little, but now, I would be real and totally sober. He gently placed me on the bed as he got on top of me. The silk fabric beneath me, brushing against my skin. He kissed my torso and his wet tongue walked to the beak of my breasts. Making them excited even more. One of his hands was in my hair and the other cupping one of my breasts. In my intimate part I could feel a small pulse and heat. He was excited. His body was on fire next to mine.

- Kakashi... - I cried and moaned his name

- I want to feel you - he spoke softly, which made me melt completely - I want to feel you again

- Sit down - I said and grabbed his face, distributed a sincere kiss on his mouth and at that moment it seemed that the world had stopped, that I was liking him, I already knew but... That kiss was different. In a moment of overwhelming ecstasy and pleasure, that kiss seems to change everything.

- Sakura...

- I know... - I leaned my forehead against his - I know...

As much as we wanted to continue, we felt that there was not the time, nor the exact moment for that to happen. As soon as we looked at each other, we knew, we were connected. The moment we would have was saved, for later. it just wasn't supposed to happen now. As much as the mood was broken, I didn't feel ashamed and neither did he, we acted normal and that was a big step forward. This was real.

- I'll wait for you downstairs - he spoke in my ear - I have a surprise for later

- I'll be right down - I said, disentangling myself from his body.

I stayed in the room for a while and curious with what surprise he was going to do. He is a man full of mysteries. But that made him even more charming... I put on some clothes and grabbed a towel that he said was in the closet. A soft and fragrant white towel. Could I keep it so I could smell him whenever I wanted? Because if I couldn't have him, I wanted at least a souvenir.

I went downstairs and saw Kakashi on his cell phone talking to someone at the door. Was it someone from work? He was important, I'm surprised they don't get in touch with him all the time. Anyway, the day was pleasant and nothing could get better.

- And then? Let's go? - I asked approaching him

- Yes - he replied dryly.

- Did something happen? - I questioned

- We'll have to come back earlier than expected.. - he said and looked angry - Unfortunately, I'm sorry

- And what's wrong with that? Let's enjoy the time we have together - I said and intertwined my hand in his, he let out a shy smile

I had never stopped to think about how walking hand in hand with someone was such an intimate thing. But as we made our way down to the lake I realized it. The sun shining through the gaps in the trees was abundantly beautiful. Kakashi further explained the situation, as he was committed to train the ANBUS he would have to go early for training. But for me, just spending the day together would be amazing