JENNIE

"Do I need to leave?"

"I'm so sorry, but yes. I'm working on a case, and we just had a breakthrough. My coworker is on her way up."

Ashleigh, a date I found on Tinder, kisses me swiftly and grabs her keys and phone from the counter. I'm hoping she'll beat Lisa, but the knock at the door tells me I'm about to have an awkward moment. "I'll call you later. Have a good night," she says.

I open the door to find a flushed Lisa. She takes a step back as Ashleigh excuses herself. I'd normally find her look of surprise comical, but guilt slips into my brain, and I offer no introduction or excuse. "Be careful," I say to Ashleigh's back. She waves.

"Lisa. What's going on?" I invite her in.

"Have you heard?"

"Heard what?" I follow Lisa into the living room, where she stops short, and I almost bump into her. I follow her stare where I see the empty wineglasses Ashleigh and I left behind. She tenses, and I want to explain, but I remind myself I have nothing to explain.

I'm not dating Lisa. I don't owe her anything.

"Uh, I didn't mean to interrupt."

It's no use pretending they aren't there. "Don't worry about it." I grab them and put them in the kitchen. That gives us both a few moments to settle down. "So, what's going on?" She crosses to the window. Her back is to me as she stares out at the city. I wait because I know she's working through the shock of catching me in the middle of a date, even though we have no obligation to one another. I know the sting. I've already felt it with her whether I want to admit it or not.

"They took the mayor into custody."

She turns and folds her arms across her chest. Her cheeks are flushed with what I presume is anger, and her gray eyes are almost black. I've seen her like this only once before, when she dragged that man off me.

"What! When? Why? I mean, how do you know?" I take a step toward her, as if being closer will make her talk faster. She steps back.

"My boss is friends with the captain, and the FBI just picked him up. The name you gave Simpson led him to a shell corporation the mayor was using to launder bribes. It unraveled from there."

Who's going to flip the Plaza Lights on if the mayor's in jail?

My priorities clearly need work. "Wow. Just wow. I wonder what they found? Who was bribing him? I bet he squealed." Sterling was so dejected when he was in my office last. It wouldn't surprise me if it was a relief for him to finally tell the truth, whatever that is.

"I just hope everything comes out, and you can go about your life safely and not have to worry every time you go out," she says.

"I'm not going to lie. I love my loft, but I love my freedom more." I'm tired of standing. "Hey, can I get you anything? Do you want a drink?"

"No, thank you. I should go. I'm sorry I ruined your night."

I put my hand on her arm. "You didn't ruin anything. I'm glad you came over to tell me. This is important, and I appreciate it."

She nods and steps away from me. She doesn't look at me, and even though I want her to tell me why, I also don't want to know the truth. We both had to make decisions based on what we need, and Lisa and I are at different stages in our lives.

Lisa opens the door and turns back to me. "She's seems too young for you."

My anger flares, surprising me, and I snort. "Oh, like Tzuyu isn't?"

"She's young, but not that young."

I change my approach and shrug. "Works for me. Plus, she's not looking for anything more than just what it is. A hookup."

"I guess if it works for you. I've decided a relationship is the way to go. I'm getting too old for games. Plus, having one is a lot more meaningful than just random sex."

"Oh? I was random sex to you?" Even through my anger, I hear the irony in my question.

Lisa leans in so she's only a few inches from my face. "You know exactly what it was. Call me when you're ready to grow up and finally admit we have something."

I watch her walk down the hallway to the elevators, unable to come up with the words that matter. Tonight is too much. I need to vent. I shoot Nayeon a text.

J: Can you talk?

She FaceTimes me immediately. "What's going on? Ooh. Look at you. You're gorgeous!"

I muster a small smile. "I need to tell you about my night." I watch as she stops doing whatever she's doing and gives me her total attention.

"I'm all yours."

"I don't even know what's the most important thing to cover. So much has happened." Do I start with Sterling, my date, or Lisa's surprise visit?

"Let's get the boring stuff out of the way."

"They arrested Sterling tonight," I say.

"That's the boring stuff? Holy shit. What happened?"

I launch into the story about what Lisa and I discovered and how we shared it with the detective on the case. "It sounds like he was accepting bribes. I really want to know who was bribing him. And what they were bribing him for."

She points out the obvious. "Well, you are a judge. You could probably make a few calls."

I laugh nervously. "I wouldn't even know who to call. My list of contacts is weaker than I thought it would be by now."

"What about that one guy's parents or even Judge Martinez?"

She's talking about Aubrey and Reginald Park. "That's not a bad idea, but I wouldn't know how to approach them. What do I say? Hey, it's Jennie. We met twice. What's going on with Sterling? I don't feel comfortable with it."

"How about googling it?"

"For sure it'll be on Twitter. This is going to be a huge story once it blows up."

"Nothing yet," Nayeon says after a few seconds of silence.

"I guess we'll just have to wait until morning."

"If that was the boring part, what was the exciting part?"

I sit down on the couch and sigh. "I met a woman through Tinder. She's pretty, smart, and totally into me. Mid-twenties. I invited her out, and we had dinner tonight and drinks at my place."

"So far, I'm okay. Young is different for you, but I see nothing wrong with a solid decade age gap. How's her stamina?"

"Here's the weird part. Here's where I need your help. We started making out, and the doorman called because Lisa was downstairs insisting on seeing me."

"Did they run into each other? Oh, man. That must've been awkward."

I fall back on the couch. "It was horrible, but their run-in wasn't the worst part."

I nod. "The worst part was when Lisa kind of yelled at me."

"I can't imagine Lisa yelling."

"It was more of a stern talking to."

Nayeon smiles and raises her eyebrows. "Sounds hot."

"You're not helping."

"I'm sorry. I'm all ears."

I'm afraid to tell Nayeon my feelings. I'm afraid to admit that Lisa got inside me. "She told me to call her once I figure out that we have something more than just sex."

Nayeon busts out laughing. "Oh, my God. That's too hilarious."

I purse my lips and swallow the immediate "fuck you" response on the tip of my tongue. Nayeon isn't the problem. I am. I groan. "How did it happen? How did she get inside me? I was so careful."

Nayeon struggles for composure. "Look, Jennie Bear. It's a natural progression. It was bound to happen. Lisa is a wonderful woman who has pleased you more than just sexually, and you don't know how to process your feelings. How do you feel?"

I want to lie and tell her I feel nothing, because that's been my MO for years, but I can't. "I don't know. I like Lisa. She obviously satisfies me sexually, and we have a lot in common."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I'm afraid. I like my life the way it is. I've been through so many changes this year. I don't think I can handle another monumental shift in my life." Finally, the truth comes out. I want to cry, but I manage a weak smile instead.

"Remember the advice you gave me when I was doubting getting into a relationship with Orlando? Look at us now. You encouraged me to accept it, and we're happy as fuck. All because of you. Now my advice is to just let go. Drop your 'sex-only' rule and admit that Lisa has gotten inside your heart. It might be great."

"Or it might be the worst decision ever." You learn about playing devil's advocate in law school, and I apply it to my daily life. It's safer to be guarded. I've gotten this far, but at what price?

"Nayeon, what do I do?"

"She left it up to you, so figure out what you're willing to give and call her if you can try to make a relationship work." Her voice softens. "I think you should give it a try. Lisa is the perfect person to help you navigate a relationship. She understands you. And she'll be patient. Trust her."

I take a deep breath. "I'll give it some thought. I mean, she's with Tzuyu now. I don't want to destroy their relationship for a test run."

"Oh, please. Tzuyu's just a toy for Lisa. Their relationship isn't substantial. If she were serious about Tzuyu, she wouldn't have pushed you to admit that the two of you have something."