Hello friends, good to see you!

We're diving into one of the Merlin Quests today, so get ready for adventure and action and fantasy and... honestly, get ready for a hot mess. That's it, that's the chapter. I was in the mood for some lighthearted and (hopefully!) funny stuff, and this is the end result. :D

Disclaimer: there's a specific enemy/monster that is entirely and shamelessly inspired by Final Fantasy IX. Those of you who played the game will know exactly what sort of fluffy, adorable terrors I'm talking about. orz

Specific tags include:
part of the "Merlin Quests" mini-series; post KH 3; canon divergence; established relationship; adventure; fantasy; humor; canon-typical battles; mini crossover with the Final Fantasy universe; mainly because of that very specific enemy; Confuse status effect gimmicks; mild whump; terrible puns (i'm so sorry); Sora is a magnet for mishaps; just roll the boy up in bubble wrap; and also give Riku a medal for putting up with it all; alternating POV

Hopefully you enjoy! ^-^


Chapter 11: Flummox

It's the last time I let this happen, Riku keeps vowing to himself.

The situation isn't too dire, but it could (should!) have been easily avoided – if only they had properly stocked up on items. Seriously, it's Adventuring 101! Always carry enough potions, enough ethers, and, most of all, always carry enough items that heal status effects. Something the duo is currently severely lacking because, in their stop at the small village by the outskirts of their target location, Sora decided he wanted ice cream. Because of course he did. Ice cream that was nowhere to be found, as it would in a settlement in the middle of the desert, so Riku had to patiently follow his boyfriend as they knocked on pretty much every shop's door and questioned about the fabled icy treat. And Sora made such a mission out of it that, in the end, not only the dang ice cream cost them half their munny purse but, worse, that whole quest made them forget to check the actual item shop before leaving the village.

Yes, definitely, this is the last time Riku will allow for his dearly beloved's cravings and whims to get in the way of the actual objective.

[Who's he kidding, it's not gonna be the last time at all.]

[Sora only needs to bats his eyelashes and that's it. Riku is done for.]

Said objective wasn't supposed to be troublesome. In that specific desert, rumor has it that a roaming house can be found; an actual house just hopping around, appearing and disappearing among the sand dunes. Most travelers will miss it entirely or simply take it for a hallucination born from scalding temperature and dehydration. Those audacious enough to chase the house, however, and to eventually find the way inside, are also rumored to come across a beautiful, enchanted garden where the rarest plants in existence can be found. Including medicinal herbs that, no doubt, will be invaluable for Merlin to study and with which to create very useful concoctions. Unsurprising, therefore, that he requested his favorite errand boys to go and take a look.

Finding the house wasn't too complicated. Maybe it was sheer luck, but Riku and Sora stumbled upon it after barely a day of searching. The exploration within wasn't too bad either, mostly a matter of navigating corridors and rooms and to collect the necessary three keys that opened the gate to the basement. There they did, indeed, find the entrance to the garden… and that was when the supposedly easy mission went downhill rather fast. For a starter, the garden was much larger than they expected. It seemed to extend nearly for miles and was teeming with plants of every color and shape and size imaginable – which, whereas gorgeous to look at, meant they had no idea which ones Merlin would prefer. Should they just grab one of each?

Before idea could become action, though, another problem arose. Namely, the fact that the garden itself wasn't in the mood to be plundered by rude foreigners. Bushes grew vines that were tossed at the two teens like whips, and a few flowers tripled in size and began spewing a thick, yellowish gas at them. Riku's reflexes were fast enough to gracefully dodge through it all but Sora, who'd been distracted staring in awe at the elusive flora, because of course he was, wasn't so lucky. He managed to block and deflect the thorny vines with his Keyblade but, when landing back from an aerial combo, ended up right in front of one of the flowers that spat the gas right on his face. Because of course it did. Riku once again reacted instantly and dashed closer, wise enough to hold his breath and not take in any of that fluttering goop; hacked the damn thing to petals and chunks of stem, grabbed Sora and hightailed it out of the garden.

And that's how they find themselves in the current state of affairs: no flower or herb to their name yet, Sora under the effects of a Confusion pollen so strong that he practically has little moogles whirling around his head, and absolutely nothing to cure it with because the same Sora disrupted item shopping for the sake of ice cream. Karma doesn't sleep and, clearly, what goes around comes around. Never again, Riku repeats for the umpteenth time, sighing as he runs a hand over his hair. Whining won't solve anything and their best bet is to leave the house, return to the village, stock up on supplies like responsible adventurers and not like two fools, and just suck it up and start the whole mission from scratch.

"Hey… How you feeling?"

Riku glances down at Sora, slumped in his arms from their not-so-elegant escapade; both sitting on the stone floor and having found shelter in the cramped little crevice under the basement stairway, still catching their breath. Sora groans in response and pulls away to sit up straight, but his body coordination is groggy at best. Riku helps him to stand and Sora takes a couple experimental steps, glancing at his surroundings. Where is he, again…? His head feels like it's filled to the brim with cotton wool. And it doesn't help that, as he tries to find points of reference around him, everything keeps vibrating and/or changing places and/or fluttering in and out of physical existence. Sora is about to ask Riku what are they doing on the ceiling, when the sight of the heavy gate down the corridor gives him a brief whiff of lucidity. Right, the garden… they need to find Merlin's garden. Merlin is going to the garden to make ice cream. Something like that. Nodding vaguely, he turns back to Riku or, at least, towards the general direction he thinks his boyfriend is at.

"Yeah… okay. I'll manage. Let's go!"

Riku bites the inside of his cheek. Sora is clearly disoriented and in no fit state to go gallivanting around, but unfortunately they don't have a better option. Maybe waiting and resting for a bit will heal the confusion… but maybe it won't. Maybe that pollen's effect is gradual and will actually become worse over time. They don't know and they can't afford to trust luck and find out. Taking one of Sora's hands, Riku laces their fingers together and starts slowly climbing back up the stairway while keeping a close eye on the younger teen.

"Stay close to me, got it?"

Sora nods again and prepares for the climb. Which is to say, takes a few good seconds to remember that climbing means lifting one foot and bring it over to the next step above, because stairs go up and not really just forward in a flat line – which he just tried to do, only to end up tripping on the very first step and getting himself a face-full of Riku's back. Not that he complains about it. One step at a time, then, one foot after the other… there's nothing to it. Right? Even if this particular stairway is special because, at some point, it shifts on itself and now they're not climbing along the ground anymore – they're climbing along the wall! This is actually genius, Sora thinks, and it saves a lot of space. You can fit a lot more furniture inside a house if you just plop the stairs down on the wall. Why didn't anybody think of this before?

Eventually they reach the top and go through a– a window? No, wait… it's a door. Doors are the ones that have doorknobs. Which makes Sora wonder if windows have windowknobs? It'd be only fair. Riku says something and Sora nods absently again, mainly because the only words his brain can keep up with are keep going, careful, and never again. So Sora lets himself be led along a series of more corridors that can't seem to make up their mind; first they're shaped like long tunnels, then suddenly they flip around and go on a spiral instead, and just now he could swear he was about to enter a room but the door disappears and instead he all but walks right into a wall. And this wall, the cheeky thing, is way harder to smack upon than his boyfriend's body.

"Ow! Gee, rude…"

Sora vaguely registers that the other hand that had been holding his own is gone (Whose hand was that, again…?), but he's far more preoccupied now with solving the mystery of the vanishing door. What's the world coming to if all doors start suddenly going away! Worse… what if someone is out there stealing doors? Nope, he's gonna do something about this – and so he half-stumbles down the next corridor, turning corners and picking whatever direction seems appropriate. Much to Riku's dismay, because he let go of Sora's hand for a few seconds, just a few darn seconds, and that was more than enough for the younger one to go start trouble somewhere else. Because of course it was.

"Sora? Sora! Where did you go?"

By far, there's more to this house than meets the eye. Entering was simple enough and Riku ought to have known better; ought to have expected a trap at some point. Maybe the devilish building was enchanted this way, maybe they did trigger some sort of defense mechanism by disturbing the garden… fact is, exiting won't be as simple as entering was. The floor plan clearly rearranged itself, almost as if the rooms rotated around and are now distributed in a completely different order. New gates have appeared as well, and that's why Riku had to let go of Sora for a moment – to fumble inside their inventory and see if any of the previously collected trinkets could open the way. Not only it didn't work and the gate remains mockingly shut, now the two of them have been separated. And, in his current state, it's a matter of time till Sora either tumbles down a flight of stairs or flings himself out of a window entirely.

Thankfully, this is when Riku's keen sense of smell comes in handy; even in the midst of a labyrinth like this house is turning out to be, all he has to do is close his eyes and even his breath, and soon he spots his boyfriend. Not that far away, but in a room that they haven't explored yet. It's similar to the garden, in the sense that it gives the illusion of being much larger than it likely is, but, as far as greenery goes, there's only a few bushes and tufts of grass to be found here and there. Riku sighs in relief when seeing Sora near the center of the room, apparently unscathed, but that relief doesn't last long. Because Sora is… he's petting some kind of animal, isn't he? Because of course he is.

Subconsciously already on edge and not trusting anything about this place anymore, Riku walks closer; close enough to notice that the little being is… it looks like some kind of a small sheep with horns? Hardly larger than a regular cat, with big doe eyes? Small body and large head, the kind that anyone would aww! at upon first sight? What's a miniature sheep doing here…? As if on cue, the sheep glances back and then everything goes downhill. Again.

Riku gulps, because the sheep glares at him far too menacingly for something so tiny and adorable. He throws Sora an apprehensive look but quickly needs to focus instead on more sheep that are coming out from behind one of the bushes. A sheep am-bush; this is exactly what Riku needs to make his day even better. One of the little things starts ramming angrily in his direction and Riku is about to materialize his Keyblade, cuteness be damned, but doesn't get a chance to. Not in the slightest. Before he knows what's happening, the sheep all but conjures a ridiculously powerful Comet spell that misses a direct hit on Riku by an inch, yet the shockwave is still more than enough to send him flying. Flying and tumbling over himself like a child's ball tossed down the stairs, just to add insult to injury, till he smacks unceremoniously against one of the walls.

And it's still far from over.

Groaning, Riku barely has the time to get his bearings before the next wave of onslaught is upon him. It would have been hilarious to watch that mini-army of mini-sheep ramming one after the other, if he wasn't currently the main target of their fury. A somersault to the side gets him out of the way of the two first sheep, but the next one is immediately on him and how the heck do these wicked little things move so fast, what is happening, damn it Riku why did you have to go and anger the sheep and all Riku can do is to block the charge with his Keyblade. And he's left reeling like an actual beam of concrete just hit him instead, while the sheep lands like it's nothing and is already pawing at the ground again and preparing a new blow. Riku's not gonna win this fight, is he…? Not to mention, his own well-being is only half of the issue here.

Not the wisest thing to do, then, but Riku risks an instant of distraction for the sake of checking on Sora. Fortunately, the bulk of the small grumpy animals is focused on the older teen… yet Sora has still somehow engaged one of them and the battle is unfolding as well as one might expect. If it can be called a battle, because it's going pretty much one-sided: not Sora versus sheep, but Sora versus thin air – what with how, in his confused state, he's missing every single swing of the Keyblade. Maybe that's why that sheep isn't bothering to fight back, because the level of perceived threat is currently below zero.

"SORA!" Riku shouts, regardless, "Stop attacking, they're dangerous!"

One day Sora will actually listen to Riku and spare them both a load of unnecessary complications, but it is not this day. The younger teen continues with his very sloppy attempts at fighting that specific sheep, and the sheep is entirely unimpressed and has actually turned away in boredom at this point and starts grazing instead. And Riku has no time to comment on any of that, because yet another one is on him and this time he has to backflip out of the way as the sheep rams against the wall and actually goes through. This one ridiculously tiny thing just opened a hole in a wall made of thick stone! Yeah, they definitely need to get out of here; like, yesterday. Before these spawns of Chernabog ram them all the way back to Destiny Islands.

The cherry on top of the cake, though, comes when Riku turns to Sora again. Sora, who just managed to finally hit a target. Yup, Riku looks just in time to watch as his boyfriend basically smacks himself on the face with the Keyblade and promptly falls over, half-KO'd. What a way to go.

Never again, Riku repeats like a mantra, as he does what he should have done the moment he set foot in this room – to reach into in their inventory and pull out one of the flash grenades that Yuffie offered them for emergencies. By rights, a handful of cute little sheep shouldn't ever count as an emergency, but Riku will mend his pride later. Taking the chance as the devilish beings are momentarily stunned, he runs to Sora, grabs him, tosses him over a shoulder, and then runs for dear life and only stops when his legs are already hurting. It's another unexplored room but this one is empty and safe and, most importantly, unoccupied by murderous sheep. With a big sigh of relief, Riku sits Sora down on the nearby collapsed column that makes for a good improvised bench and then just hunches over, hands on knees, trying to catch his breath.

"Riku…? What happened?"

What happened, Sora asks, in the most innocent tone; the damn Sheepocalypse just happened, that's what. Riku wheezes and isn't sure if he wants to laugh or to also smack himself. Silver linings, though, because at least the self-inflicted blow seems to have cleared up the haze a little. On the other hand, Sora's cheek practically has an imprint in the shape of a key and his eye is already bruising and swelling. Add these to the list of things that will have to wait to be healed because some idiots forgot to purchase items.

Sighing yet again, Riku walks closer and gently ruffles Sora's hair. "I'll tell you later. Now lemme check–" Saying so, he carefully brushes away the messy brown bangs to take a better look at Sora's face. A swollen cheek and a black eye shouldn't be too much of an issue for the time being. In fact, the two of them should be kneeling and praising the desert gods for coming out of this with only a few bruises. Either way… even if he seems to be doing better, Sora is still far too dazed and Riku isn't about to repeat the same mistake twice. Hence, not letting go of Sora's hand this time, as he steps closer to the half-wrecked, tall window nearby. They're not at ground level anymore, but jumping down from here shouldn't be too difficult.

"Come on. We're going back."

Sora doesn't really react at first, nor does he protest at how Riku crouches down in front of him and basically drags him on top, to piggyback carry him. Sora will never complain at an opportunity to cling to his love, and that's exactly what he gets to do at the moment. Still, because his mind has cleared up enough to at least recover a sense of time and place, he frowns in confusion – no pun intended – as he nuzzles the side of Riku's neck with his nose out of habit. "What 'bout the garden…?"

"…Stop that, it's distracting." Riku will allow no more dumb accidents for the day, which is why he really doesn't need Sora teasing at one of his softest spots. Making sure he has a good grip on the younger teen, he approaches the window again and hops on top of the sill. "We'll come back for the garden later." When we're actually prepared, he almost adds, but doesn't bother to. Instead, Riku now hops over to the other side, incredibly relieved to be out of that freakish house for the time being, and studies the sun's position for a moment before getting started on the way back through the desert.

Sora lets out a soft gasp as they land back on the ground, clinging a little tighter but, overall, just letting his arms hang lazily and happily around Riku's neck. His face is hurting for some reason and he feels pretty much like the Gummi ship accidentally ran him over, so it's really small surprise that he's already close to falling asleep. The hot sun above and the steady rhythm of Riku's walking make for the perfect lullaby. Regardless, before dozing off for good, there is one thing Sora just thought of and that he needs to ask.

"Riku?"

"Hmm?"

"When we're back, can we have ice cream?"

Hearing that, Riku halts his march for a moment – stops, breathes in deeply and, bless his heart, finds it in himself to start walking again. Shaking his head in pure disbelief and unable to help the wide smile now curving his lips.

You idiot… I love you so much.


Sora is a Pokémon confirmed, he hurt himself in his confusion.

Thank you so much for reading!
Theia