You have to thank my buddy Cozier for the creation of this with his prompt:
Jaune thlammed his penith on the dorm door
I changed it a bit yeah Has been posted on Ao3 because was being fucky with me

'This was unprecedented! Unheard of! How could it have happened?!' Ironwood thought as he looked at all the maternity leave requests. There was a heap of them, they were as tall as his fucking desk was. All he knew is that Jaune Arc was involved. Rubbing the sides of his temple he called for the person he knew to be at fault somehow.

When the summons got him Jaune was drinking his buddy Marrow. The dude was pretty chill for an atleasian. Despite mistaking his name. They just seemed to hit it off pretty well. Having similar interests and tastes. The Ace operative was pretty surprised when it turned out the Valean boy liked rap. Amd Joined him on the recreational Fridays in the hangar to spit bars together.

"Any ideas what the big boss might want?" he asked.

"How could I know?" Asked the perplexed faunus.

"Well you've known him for longer than I Have after all." The quick rebuttal was a good one but the faunus would have not given up yet.

"Good point but I am neither his soulmate not am I his wife, how should I know what goes through his head." At this the young Arc did a spit take.

"He has a wife?" An anxious and scared expression coming over his face. 'What if she was one of them?' the next thought going through his mind was if his aura was going to be enough to save him from Due process the Handcanon the general used.

"Naaah, dude. He is married to his job." As fast as the fear on his fellow man's face

"He needs to get Laid sometimes soon."

"You said it dude."
"So we going?"

"We going."

After the exchange and the leaving of their reading materials, they both got up and headed towards the man in the high tower of Atlas Academy.

In front of James Ironwood were standing Both specialist Amin and the blond menace which ruined his army. Time to face the music, and maybe kill the conductor.

"Gentlemen, do you know what this is?" said the bearded man pointing at the stack of papers.

"No General!"/"Non mon General" Came the response of both youngmen.

"It is all maternity leave requests, and they are all somehow connected to you Arc. So could you please explain to me how almost half the army is asking for maternity leave."

In front of his eyes the duo transformed seemlessly as if stitched together by a good editor. Marrow wore jeans instead of his usual uniform pants and in the place of his Ace ops coat stood a tank top, a sily looking orange beanie on his head. Instead of his usual knightly attire wore a dark green hoodie. And nothing else.

"I Thlammed my Penith in the bullheath thoor. Thir!" said with a ridiculous lisp the half-naked blonde.

"He SlAmMeD hIs PeNiS iN tHe BuLlHeAd DoOr. SiR!" Rapped surprisingly Good the Specialist.

"I am sorry to hear that Mr. Arc now explain me how slamming your genitalia in a door resulted in" here he pointed at the stacks of paper "this!"

"Well the gallth…"

"Arc if you don't ditch this lisp I will shoot you!"

"Well the galls from engineering came to us to ask why there was a big penis shaped indention in the door, and we showed them! Things may have spiraled out of control after it. Apparantly they couldn't keep their mouths shut and started spreading rumors."

"They should have kept something else shut. How did you even made them spread their legs Arc!" After a deep sigh the general looked at them. "Go!"

"Go where, sir?"

"I don't care just get out of here."

The young fellas looked at each others and started leaving just as they. Had closed the door they heard a loud boom. Upon gulping they speed walked until they met Winter Schnee.

"Hi Winter!" said Jaune.

"It is Specialist Schnee and you better take responsibility for this." Waving the maternity leave request in his face.

"Ehhh, you might need to self-grant that request."

"What do you mean JAUNE!" The experience with angry women he had acquired over his childhood with the young sisters told him what would have been the best course of action.

"It is a long story!"