A/N: I've tried to match the dates up properly but yea, things are a little out of whack. I hope I did this justice. This covers the war

Time moved swiftly after their night, curled up on the couch and just holding each other as night turned to dawn and they revelled in the peace, not knowing the next time they would feel it.

They had luckily managed to travel to the training grounds together, but were swiftly separated despite neither of them wanting to be, Tommy was sent to one side of the training grounds with the rest of the Birmingham Boys while Viola was sent to the other, where the Nurses resided.

Viola checked off what she had in her bag with her mental list, having memorised the list of what was allowed and what she could bring with her:

One canvas or calico bag – six feet four inches by three feet – to be filled with straw at camp

One pillow or pillow bag

Two blankets

One Macintosh rug is useful

One enamel washing basin and a piece of soap

Two towels; one should be large for bathing

One duster

One knife, fork and spoon

One enamel cup and saucer

Two enamel plates

Two tea clothes

One brush for boots (1d nail brush will do)

A bicycle lamp or a candle lantern

She had also packed several of the uniforms allowed, anticipating the need for them in case of tears or washing, she had packed a sewing kit and two of her favourite books, in case of downtime along with a pack of cards. Tommy had promised to teach her some games so they could pass the time together.

The uniform she would be required to wear was a white apron with the Red Cross emblem displayed on the bib. Made of linen, with bib pleated in band and continuing in straps (without join), cut in three widths and pleated in band at sides. On both sides was a large square pocket stitched on, the front part of pocket having a narrow strip continuing upward and stitched in the two-inch waist-band, fastening at the with linen button, the straps crossing over and also buttoning about five inches from either side of centre at the back.

Along with a starched white linen belt, two and a half inches wide, to be worn over apron and finally ordinary black boots with black stockings. Tommy had been thoughtful enough to have her boots altered to have steel caps placed at the front, he told her that if she kicked someone hard enough, she would break their bone.

Viola understood that while there were standards to her uniform now, when she got out in the war, they would be thrown out the window, the focus being on saving as many lives as possible.

Tommy had also given her a pack of razors, taught her how to wield one and how to hide them on her person. Viola really didn't wish to learn, didn't want to hurt people but Tommy had given her such a vulnerable, pleading look that she had relented. Viola wanted to be able to protect herself but the thought of it being necessary had made her feel sick, but she was going to war and war did terrible things to people and made terrible things necessary to survive.

Viola had also dealt with some lose ends, sending a letter to her parents because she knew that they would hit the roof when they found out she was being enlisted.

Dear Papa and Mama,

I admit I'm writing this letter because I cannot tell you in person, if I did, you would never allow me to leave the house. You would lock me in my room and bar the window.

I won't beat around the bush. I've been called up to join the war effort. The situation is dire and Europe is bleeding. They need as many Doctors and nurses as they can, I'm writing this before I'm shipped out- but to where I don't know- I also ask Papa, that you heed my wish and do not try to have me pulled. You have connections and I know you can ask your old army friends to have me transferred somewhere safe and out of the way.

Don't.

I have been told that my skills are highly valued and if you do not allow my skills to be used in the best way to serve king and country, to help this war effort, I swear I shall never forgive you. I will seek out the best way to drag our family name and honour through the mud and have us known as a laughingstock and worse, cowards who would desert our honour to save our own hides.

I'm going to war and let's not pretend that we don't know the risks and so, I might die in this coming conflict. It's scary, I am scared of what may happen but I cannot allow my fear to stop me. Perhaps, no, most certainly at one point I will regret this letter but I would more regret being a coward.

I am learning much here at the training grounds and will be leaving soon I expect, I am formally trained and there are other volunteers that need to learn, I can't be taking to many resources.

Give our family my love,

Write soon,

Viola Crawley.

/

The lessons were a reiteration of what Viola had already learnt and a focus on what was needed in war. She learnt and had practical experiences on straw dummy's while answering questions such as:

What are bedsores? What precautions would you take to prevent their occurrence, and if they

occur, how would you treat them?

How would you prepare a patient and a room for a major operation?

Write a brief history of a case of enteric fever during the third week, giving a temperature chart

How would you prepare a linseed meal poultice, an ice poultice, and a mustard poultice?

What are the indications for their use?

What do you mean by Crisis and Lysis? In what illnesses do they respectively occur?

How do you make peptonised beef-tea?

"You will be working very long hours." The matron told them seriously, her greying hair pulled back into a no-nonsense bun. "Day duty begins at 7:50am and will finish at 8pm. When possible, nurses will be given three hours off, usually during the afternoon between 2pm and 5pm. However, this cannot be promised, as you ladies will be going to war and war does not have office hours.

You will be provided with one half day off per week if work-loads are not too heavy. Night nurses begin their duty at 7:50pm and finish at 8am. All shifts began and end with prayers and a Christian ethos will underpin all nursing and medical tasks.

You will comport yourselves with grace and dignity, you will offer the same thing to your patients.

Nursing sisters are responsible for overseeing the work of ward staff and ensuring the wellbeing of the patients in your care. You will carry out the specific orders of medical staff, administer prescribed medicines at appropriate intervals, dress wounds and meticulously record patients' observations. Nursing tasks will also include the supervision of patients' meals, baths and the preparation of nursing treatments such as poultices, inhalations and cupping." The Matron explained "most of this you will have learned, but here you will learn to do it all under the pressure of war, you will be imperative to saving lives and you will meet my standards or be removed"

Viola fought the urge to fidget as the woman's grey eyes swept over the room, making the girls straighten and give the Matron all of their attention.

/

Pebbles striking Viola's window woke her and she cautiously sat up, grabbing the razor from beneath her pillow and making her way over to the window, when she twitched the curtains open, she relaxed and placed the razor on her bedside table.

"Thomas Shelby" Viola scolded playfully as she leant out the window to stare at Tommy who was slightly beneath her, clinging to the guttering.

"Lady Viola Crawley" he replied smoothly.

"Oh, good sir, you know how inappropriate it is to be at my bedroom window at such a late hour" Viola told him batting her eyelashes.

"How scandalous of you, My Lady, entertaining men in your nightie" Tommy said with a salacious smirk, his eyes travelling up and down her body.

Viola reached out and smacked his shoulder "one man, thank you and you've seen me in less"

"And a wonderful night it was, though that candle getting knocked over made for some very nice surprises" Tommy grinned, eyes glittering in the moonlight.

Viola flushed hotly remembering the hot wax dripping onto her stomach and making her moan loudly, stopping Tommy's panic and turning it into gleeful amusement.

"You ensure I have a lot of surprises" Viola murmured leaning into his space, and giving him a very nice view down her nightgown.

"And I have another" Tommy told her in delight, he loved spoiling her with anything he can think of "hmm, well two. A gift and an offer"

"And what is your offer?" Viola asked him, feeling delight dance up and down her spine, how had she gotten so lucky with this man?

"Come and see the stars with me" He told her "We'll climb to the roof and watch them; I won't let you fall, just a thought I had, it's a nice night"

"I know" Viola said with ease "and my gift?"

He grinned and pulled out a paper bag from an inside pocket "Jelly babies"

Viola's eyes lit up with glee "How did you get that?"

Tommy's chest puffed out with pride "Betting with some of the lads, a Sergeant joined in and well he offered up the bag of jelly babies and I know you enjoy them I know it's not chocolate or honeycomb..."

"I love them" Viola grinned "lets go to the roof, watch the stars and eat jelly babies"

"Fantastic" Tommy hummed pleased she was willing to sneak out with him, he tucked the sweets back into his pocket and carefully helped her out of the window and then up to the roof, always careful to keep an eye on her.

When she got up to the roof, Viola shot Tommy an amused look, a checkered blanket had been set out with pillows and even a bottle of wine was waiting for them

"Yes, Stailc tintreach?" he asked her blinking innocently

"I thought this was spur of the moment?" Viola asked taking his hand and leading him over to the blanket

"I'm a very quick thinker" Tommy replied helping her sit before dropping down next to her, pulling out the jelly babies.

"Oh, I'm sure" Viola giggled reaching into the paper bag and pulling out a dark red jelly baby, she hummed and bit the head off it.

"So, you make them suffer, do you?" Tommy asked as he popped a green one into his mouth, enjoying the taste.

"How else are you supposed to do it?" Viola asked playfully "a quick death? They don't deserve that"

Tommy chuckled "what a terrifying woman you are"

"You like it!" Viola retorted throwing the jelly baby she had at him, he snapped it up in his mouth and grinned cheekily at her.

"Love it" he confirmed happily before pulling her down so that they could stare at the stars

"Are you worried Tommy?" Viola asked him after taking a deep drink of the red wine bottle he'd procured.

"Yes, I'm terrified" Tommy admitted to her easily "I like control, crave it, you know that but I have none. No matter what I do, how hard I fight...I can't fight God, I can't fight death and when there's war...God and Death rule supreme. And...I'm terrified I'll lose you Viola, you're the love of my life, if I lost you...I imagine I'll be joining soon after"

"So am I" Viola whispered into the dark night "I'm scared...I know people will die, no matter what I do but I feel powerless but I want to fight just the same. I don't want to lose you either Thomas, you're my great love and those only come once, because not even death can separate them."

"I want to fight too" Tommy smiled at gently "it might be inevitable but with you, I know I will put one hell of a fight up"

Viola nodded her head as she curled into his warmth "to putting a hell of a fight up and winning this war"

/

Tommy glanced up from where he was walking with his squad, seeing a large group of women moving over to one of the buses, the engine running.

"Looks like another group is moving out, they're going quite quick ain't they?" John said as he observed the organised chaos.

"Another group will join and fill the gap" Jeremiah Jesus remarked calmly, the Jamaican preacher was an old friend of the Shelby family, having grown up with the three brothers.

"You'd think they'd fuckin' run outta people" Tommy grumbled as he placed a cigarette in his lips, rifling around for a match, he hadn't seen Viola all day, they were supposed to meet for breakfast in the canteen but she never showed and now he was worried.

"Is...is that Vi?" Arthur asked in confusion "is she helping some of the girls?"

Tommy frowned, spotting her like a candle flame in a dark room "Yes, she didn't mention she was going to be helping load up?"

Spotting a nearby Lance Corporal Tommy walked over to him and asked what was going on.

"Those girls are being shipped out to France, more medical is needed" the man replied absently as he checked his clipboard

"Not all of 'em eh?" Tommy asked with a chuckle "I mean some of them are just helping load up, being helpful like"

The Lance Corporal looked up at him finally and blinked "No, all of them are going"

Tommy glanced over hoping that the head of brunette hair was some other woman that just looked alarmingly like his Viola, but no, seeing the profile of her face confirmed his worst fears. She was being shipped off and without him, without his protection.

"Whoa, they can't all be! One of the Nurses, Viola Crawley she is connected to my battalion; we aren't shipping out yet! We have more training to get through!" Tommy argued with Lance Corporal.

"They are" Lance Corporal Philips replied "Orders to send out an attachment of professional Nurses and Doctors to set up and begin working, the French are dying in droves and that team is the highest trained one we've got. Things have been switched around. They go first, including Nurse Viola Crawley...very highly trained and recommended, we'll be needing her skills"

Viola was a Lady; it was bad enough she'd been conscripted but he had thought she'd be kept behind due to her high skills not sent out! Why wasn't her father protecting her?!

"I don't give a fuck about the French! That's my girl!" Tommy snapped out.

The Lance Corporal gave him a sympathetic look but stated simply "Orders are orders and they are to be obeyed unless you'd like to be court martialled and shot?"

Tommy gave up on the useless man and instead chased after Viola, needing to get to the bottom of this.

"Vi! Viola! Stailc tintreach!" Tommy shouted as he shoved his way through the crowd, chasing after her, hearing him she turned and stopped, allowing the crowd to move around her as he caught up, cupping her face desperately memorising her.

"Tommy, tommy I have to go" Viola told him despairingly looking into his eyes and praying she could stay with him but she had to go.

"Where?!" he demanded urgently, moving his hands to hold her by her hips "where are you going?"

Viola could feel his bruising grip on her hips but she revelled and welcomed it "le tréport, France. That is where I'm being sent to"

"The front?" Tommy hissed out, fear clutching his heart, it would be so dangerous there...

"Orders are orders, beloved Tommy, I love you" Viola pulled him in for a desperate kiss, breaking off when the whistle of her currently commanding officer sounded, she needed to get on the bus now.

Viola quickly climbed on and hurried to a window seat, Tommy tracking her desperately, when she sat down, he walked to her window and reached a hand up to press it against the window.

"Stailc tintreach, I'll find you; I swear it, I'll find you, everything is going to be okay, you hear?" Tommy shouted through the window "it's going to be okay!"

Viola stood up and yanked the window down, catching his hand with her own "I love you Tommy, we'll see each other soon, alright?"

She looked over her shoulder to see John and Arthur having caught up to Tommy.

"You look after him! you hear me Arthur and John Shelby?!" she demanded

"We will Vi! Keep yourself safe until we get to you!" Arthur shouted back

"And look after yourselves, look after each other, I can't lose my Shelby boys" Viola told them, her voice cracking as tears welled in her eyes.

Arthur nodded solemnly, unable to speak but John managed "We'll look after ourselves if you look after yourself, we can't lose the Lady of the Shelby family" John said offering her a boyish grin, as the bus started to move on and Viola involuntarily tightened her grip on Tommy desperately, who clung back, a panicked look crossing his face.

"No" he begged "No, I can't- I can't- "

"Tommy" Viola told him, her heart breaking "You need to be strong, okay?"

"How can I? when you're leaving?!" He questioned frantically but they were torn apart as the bus picked up speed, Tommy stumbled and then bolted after her, keeping pace and kicking up into a sprint to spend just one more moment with her but eventually the bus got to fast and Tommy was left in the dust, staring after his stailc tintreach and praying that this was a horrible nightmare.

"Let's go eh Tom? We have drills" Arthur told him gently, taking his arm and steering him back into the training grounds.

"Arthur" Tommy gasped wretchedly and Arthur pulled him into a hug, seeing a wide-eyed John staring at his older brother but he had never seen Tommy like this, only Arthur had and that had been when his pony, Snowflake had died, not even their mother's death had moved him so.

"It's alrigh' Tommy, it's alrigh'" Arthur reassured him gruffly "We need to go and train and then we can find her, okay?"

Tommy sniffled and pulled back "Okay, we'll find her, I will, I'll always find my stailc tintreach"

"And we can prank that stuck up toff of a Lance Corporal if you want, Tommy" John offered and a small smile appeared on Tommy's face, with his brothers by his side, Tommy could last, could wait until he was returned to Viola's side and he would be or there would be a reckoning.

/

Viola thought that time had moved swiftly in England but then when she got to the base camp in France, seeing the torn apart country, the starving familes and scavenging children with haunted eyes and gaunt faces, Viola felt herself tremble.

What was to come would change her worldview forever, would kill apart of her but she would move forward and do her duty.

Getting off the bus Viola was emersed into a world of chaotic organisation, men shouting, running to and fro, wounded men moaning in pain, blood and screams, shouting and gunfire...

Viola scrambled after one of the nurses that had come to get them, her bag clutched tightly as she listened to the heavily accented English, the woman by the name of Colette Dubois, harried them along to their bunks told them to drop of their belongings before leading them to different medical tents, dropping them off in different sized groups.

Viola hesitated for a brief moment outside the one she had been assigned before the moans and cries of agony spurned her on and she plunged into the tent, looking around for who to get her orders from, spotting a doctor, she hurried over and when he noticed her, he spoke in a brusque tone.

"You one of the new nurses?" The Doctor asked her and Viola nodded

"Yes, Dr, I- "Viola was cut off.

"Good, get to work those fucking Germans sent gas over, we've got thirty-six dead, ninety liable to join them soon enough and one hundred and four in this hospital tent where we only have room for fifty, the new tents were supposed to be here two weeks ago!" He bellowed at a passing soldier who jumped and scurried off before focusing green eyes on her "why the fuck are you still here? Get working girl!"

She stumbled back, looking for a soldier, there was a man weeping so Viola rolled up her sleeves and hurried over to him, words of comfort spilling from her lips as she worked to fix what she could.

/

The next time Viola checked the date, it was July and she had been here for a couple of months, a whirlwind that seemed to last an eternity and pass in the blink of an eye. She had received a barrage of letters in between the work of being a frontline nurse. She had stitched wounds, moved patients, broken fevers, made poultices, pulled shrapnel and bullets out of wounds, popped blisters, drained pus and sat by the men's beside as they recovered...and...didn't.

Thousands of men had passed through the tents that Viola had worked in rushing from one injured man to another, giving words of comfort, helping them to write and send letters, giving rehab and organising the soldiers going home due to injury.

The letters she had received had been varied. The most had been from Tommy, a bundle of letters from his came perhaps once a week if she was lucky, each letter was serval pages. Words of love and reminders that he had not forgotten her, questions on what she had been eating, drinking, sleeping. If she had nightmares, exactly how her day had gone, if she talked to soldiers, if they had flirted with her, if she was thinking of him. occasionally he added in what he had done that day or a little scuffle that had broken out perhaps some scandal going around the training grounds but mostly it was about her.

Viola relished in every word written to her, imagining Tommy murmuring these words into her ear in his raspy Birmingham accent, arms wrapped around her, a shield against the world... she cherished them and kept them under her pillow.

The next largest was from Arthur, the penmanship was shaky as if a child had written it, the words misspelt and rearranged, the letter sizes varied and clear inkblots from when he'd grown frustrated. But they came faithfully along with Tommy's bundle. Reassuring her that he was thinking of her, that he was looking after Tommy and reporting on his every activity.

It meant a lot that Arthur wrote to her, the man had told her that he'd never really gotten to go to school, that the academics had been a massive struggle and he'd eventually been abandoned. His teachers deeming him too thick to learnt and his Da said that he didn't need to know it anyways.

The fact Arthur wrote to her, writing almost ineligible, and words hard to read but he still did and Viola kept the letters carefully tucked away, proof that the man who she loved like a brother would take such care for her wishes.

John wrote as well, just not as much as his two brothers but he made up for it by writing long letters filled with rambling information, and passing on the letters Ada, Polly and crude drawing his children and Finn had sent. All of these were folded up and kept in her lockbox.

Mama had sent her letters full of concern of her wellbeing and promising to get her transferred should she wish it. Grandmama had called her a fool in the most lovingly of ways and said she was proud and loved her. Papa had been furious and threatened to go against her wishes. Mary had sent a letter of love and concern as had Sybil. Even Edith had deigned to write a letter, full of scathing commentary on how stupid and attention-grabbing Viola was being, but still, a letter was...nice she supposed.

But in July that changed, Viola received a letter from Tommy that had her paling in fear.

Dearest stailc tintreach,

We're being shipped out; war is looming ever closer and they've decided that we've been trained as much as they can spare. It's up to us and God now, to see if we come home. But there is good news, my regiment the Small Heath Rifles will be serving in the 179th Tunneling Company of the Royal Engineers.

I won't lie, Viola, tunnelling is a very, very dangerous business and the chances of my death have risen dramatically. John and Arthur have also joined this company all of us lads have. Loyal prats the lot of them but, I'm their leader and they made oaths to me. I fear...not all of us will come back and their deaths will be on me because...I have to confess, I volunteered to be a tunnel digger. I knew the risks and volunteered anyway. Waiting around these past few months, knowing you were in danger, knowing there was nothing I could do but wait...I got impatient and well, this is the result.

And those Lads just marched after me into the promised hell waiting for us, with cheery grins on their faces. I love them.

Don't hate me. Please, Stailc tintreach, I just need to be close to you, to see you once more...I know you will be kept at the rear but being in the front line...it will help me to feel as if I'm protecting you, shielding you, ridiculous, naïve and idiotic of me I know... but allow me this delusion.

I'm going to be shipped out to France, I've heard they need reinforcements and need my skills, you are a part of my decision and I won't regret it.

I love you,

Be safe,

Please,

Your Tommy.

Viola sighed as she placed the letter onto her pillow and rested her chin on her hand, eyes gazing into the Smokey distance, even now she could hear the gunfire of battle...Tommy was coming here and she was torn.

Tommy being here would be dangerous, he could die, nothing was guaranteed and every second was precious because God knew it could be your last. Or the last time you saw, or had both legs or arms...

As ridiculous as it sounded, she didn't want him in danger like she was but wanted him safe however she knew he had the same views as hers. Tommy didn't want her in danger, didn't want her risking her life and was willing to go to war and be her shield on the front lines, even if she was only sixty miles behind him rather than the two thousand, he'd prefer...at least.

"Crawley! We have to go! One hundred and forty-eight men have just come in there's argument as to whether it's mustard gas or phosphine gas, one man's been shot in the left shoulder and it's gone through his lung and one poor boy has sixteen massive wounds" Matron Louise told her urgently and Viola brushed her hair back into a no-nonsense bun, putting her letter away and rushing out of the tent. Wishing for a peaceful night of sleep but even then, the quiet would keep her awake, expecting the gunfire and screams to start up again.

/

"Stailc tintreach" Tommy's warm voice greeted her and she froze, thinking she had imagined it, perhaps the stress of war had finally gotten to her and she had snapped.

"Won't you greet your Beloved?" Tommy's voice murmured right behind her, she could feel the heat of his body, breath brushing against the back of her neck...she could almost feel his hands on her waist.

"I can't" Viola admitted to the cart of supplies before her, she had been rolling bandages in preparation, she had picked up the habit of fidgeting with things to calm her down, to settle her mind and give her focus.

"You can" Tommy's voice assured her

"You're not real" Viola told him frankly "I have finally snapped under the stress of war and conjured you for comfort"

"C'mon, turn around stailc tintreach...take a leap of faith" Tommy's voice coaxed her and she sighed unable to deny him, even if he is an apparition, she turned and gasped, seeing those ice-blue gems that had haunted her dreams, bolstered her and given her comfort when she was falling apart at the seams.

"Beloved" Viola gasped tears welling in her eyes

"Stailc tintreach" he crooned hand coming up to cup her chin with a delicateness that had sent her into silent tears.

"Oh, hush, stailc tintreach, I'm here now" he told her pulling her into a hug that made her hiccup for the first time since she'd stepped foot in this camp, she felt completely safe.

"Beloved, I have missed you so, so much" Viola told him, gripping tightly to his jacket.

"I've missed you too but we're together now and we won't be separated again" Tommy vowed seriously.

Viola hummed and pulled him in for a kiss, desperately missing his taste and the way the world fell away.

"Nurse Crawley, Private Shelby, I do hope this is some new medical treatment?" Matron Louise asked, making them jump apart.

"Matron!" Viola squeaked her cheeks bright red

"Yes, now don't you two have duties to be attending to?" Matron asked archly "I understand wanting to spend time with your sweetheart but please, this is a medical tent not a chapel"

"Yes Matron" Tommy nodded contritely before ducking out the tent, sending her a grin and cheeky wink at her from behind the matron.

/

The sun was shining the day a new shipment of Nurses and Soldiers came in, and Viola was sat with her Shelby boys, playing cards as they smoked. They were clean for once and enjoying the warmth of the day, through the war they had paled from time spent underground and their eyes were haunted from the number of close misses they had.

The war had somewhat stalled over ground and when the Germans had attacked through shallow tunnels underneath no man's land and exploding ten mines under the trenches of the Indian Sirhind Brigade, and since then the tunnelling companies had been worth ten times their weight in Gold.

Viola relished her down time spent with Tommy, Arthur and John in between her own work as a nurse and them constantly getting moved around to tunnel in different places and set explosives, their time together was rare and more precious than any gem.

Yesterday had been incredibly rough for Viola, she had been up for twelve hours straight fighting desperately to save a company of men who had been hit by a bomb, none of them had survived and Viola had quietly sobbed into Tommy's chest, quickly having learnt to be silent as not to disturb others.

Tommy had helplessly held her, cradled against his chest and murmuring terms of endearment and humming lullabies to her, Arthur and John had kept quiet and set themselves up as their honour guards, giving them a modicum of privacy.

"Crawley, let's go" Nurse Smith called for her and Viola nodded, getting to her feet and pressing kiss to Tommy's lips, dropping her hand, a royal flush onto the table and leaving a laughing Tommy and John while Arthur cursed in frustration. Tommy would collect her winnings for her and tonight there would be a packet of chocolate waiting for her under her pillow.

/

1915

"How do you keep sneaking you way in?" Viola questioned him as she moved around the small supplies cubby they had, rolling and storing bandages, it was quiet now and Viola utterly loathed the quiet, it made her jumpy.

Tommy shrugged pleased with himself as he helped her carry the medicine "witchcraft"

"You lot are going to get Court martialled if you're not careful" she huffed

"I'm working so how can I get in trouble for that?" Tommy asked "and on my days off"

"On your leave, you need to be drilling, repairing and attending lectures, you're a sergeant major, I'm sure you need to be giving those lectures" Viola commented as she alphabetised the medicine. Tommy had truly worked hard and earnt those promotions. His company had success after success and not lost anyone. She could see the purple eyebags under Tommy's eyes and the stress lines on his face, not that Viola was any better. Tommy had used his genius and strategic mind to keep his company together and alive but it was slowly wearing on him. The fear he would make the wrong move and doom them all...

Viola did what she could but they were constantly barraged by new and old demons, clawing and tearing their souls into tattered ribbons.

Tommy rolled his eyes "already done and as a Sergeant Major shouldn't I get to do as I please? No one higher ranking is around right now, so what I say, goes"

"Like always" Viola teased and he grinned at her smugly.

Being around his Stailc tintreach was like being brought home, finding an oasis in the desert, like being struck by lightning...when he was with her all his stress and worries felt away and he came alive, their souls connecting once more and peace came.

He could see how this war was tearing her apart, leaving her eyes haunted with dark bags, how her hands twitched unless she was offered something to play with, she would start picking and biting her nails. So, Tommy took to carrying little things she could play with, a bullet casing, a piece of ribbon, a pen, a rock...whatever could distract her from her demons and stop her from hurting herself.

John and Arthur had picked up on it as well, and did similarly. Just as Viola carried around cigarettes for them, a razor for Arthur to play with, toothpicks for John and a lighter for him, watching the flame dance helped to settle him put him in a state of relaxation to help him plan, she also carried around a King chess piece that he liked to roll between his fingers.

Perhaps he should pick up whittling and carve her a chess set? It would be fun to play with her and there were times he got to actually relax instead of the high pressure of those accursed tunnels.

Occasionally he'd capture her wrists in one of his hands, the secure grip he kept on her would somehow settle her...allow her to blank out and simply be with him. whatever helped her, he would do. As she did just so much for him.

/

1916

Dear Sybil,

I'm so pleased that you have decided to become an auxiliary nurse, it is a daunting task true but it is so rewarding and I will not lie, Papa might be sugar coating it, but I won't. we are haemorrhaging Doctors, Nurses and soldiers.

It is hell, every day I wonder if this is it, that our fight will stop because there is no more left to give and we have spent our all. Whatever you can offer, whatever you can give, will push us to fight just a little bit more and perhaps that will be the final push, the final encouragement and we will win this war.

Tommy is my motivation; I don't know how...but whenever I meet his ice-blue eyes a fire is lit within me.

Don't let Papa discourage you and ignore Mary and Edith. Quite frankly none of them have any fucking clue as to what this war is. Papa is prancing about in his uniform, complaining that he is not here. He should be thanking God he is not. He should be throwing his all into his commanding position and securing supplies etc, not yearning for this...I don't have words Sybbie... hell would seem a vacation.

As for Mary and Edith, they're both useless, far to concerned with throwing balls and living their high life, at least Mary can somewhat understand Mathew is here, I saw him the other day and he's doing well. He was carrying around Mary's stuffed dog? One of the men tried to snatch it and I swear, Mathew had such a chilling glare that the poor private almost froze solid! Don't tell but soldiers are calling him 'Creepy Crawley the Lord of terror' behind his back. To think, all this over a silly stuffed dog! Gossip spreads fast here in the rear and the trenches, I imagine it will get back to him eventually and well, the one who slips up...I imagine they'll never find the body again.

Edith and I, we've never gotten along and I know it pains you sister of mine, but I'm afraid that the gap will only grow larger. Being on the frontlines, watching all this suffering...I find myself unable to find an ounce of sympathy for Edith and her concerns. I am concerned with saving lives and making it through the night, she is concerned with new dresses and finding a high enough suitor to give her that status she has always craved.

We come from two different worlds and while, perhaps, I should have done more to reach out to her- I am not blameless, I know this- this war has changed my perspective forever and I simply cannot summon the willpower to play into her naïve and shallow worldview.

I have gone off topic and for that I apologise but I find words pouring out of me, these my confession letters, the only reprieve given unless I am with my Tommy. Even in this dark, bottomless pit of despair he makes life wonderful. When I ask, he merely says it's 'Gypsy Witchcraft'

If he is not careful, we will be reverting and burning witches at the stake. He will be first in line.

He is also first in line, here, as are John and Arthur. I will not write down what, Tommy's caution is a good thing to emulate but still, I fear for them. I am on the frontline medical tents but it is still so far away from them. We are but perhaps forty miles apart but at times it feels like we are worlds away.

I can scarcely imagine what it is like. In England, so far from the fighting. How blissful it must be, peaceful...I know it is not, but it soothes my heart to think of you, in the library or of Mary out riding, of Mama and Papa, Grandmama and perhaps even Edith.

I must go now- when it is quiet, it's like the world is holding its breath and when it is loud...oh God, when it is loud...it is relentless, never-ending but I feel as if I am Sisyphus, pushing that boulder uphill forevermore. But I do as I must, as I will, until it ends.

When will it end?

Will it ever end?

With fear but eternal love,

Viola Crawley.

/

In February Tommy had news, having meandered his way into the medical tent and pulled up a chair out of the way, handing her things and helping her with the patients, he couldn't do anything medical but he could fetch and carry, make beds anything to help lighten the load.

"We're getting moved" Tommy whispered to Viola as she paused by him in between patients.

"What?" Viola asked pausing but her fingers twitched towards the bandages she had just rolled properly. Tommy caught her hands and then allowed for her to start playing with his fingers, it was one of her favourite activities to do.

"You've heard what they're planning right?" Tommy questioned

Viola nodded her head "Soldiers talk to Nurses and we talk to each other"

"Useful to have a nurse so in love with me then" Tommy smirked at her

She gently swatted his arm and rolled her eyes "So your company is going to be involved?"

"They need us to...set parts up" Tommy said vaguely, always concerned about eavesdroppers and Viola nodded in understanding.

"And after?" she asked

"So long as we're here" he joked weakly "we'll get sent back, we're valuable after all...imagine that"

"You'll be going back and forth?" Viola wondered with a frown beginning to carve into her face, he leant up and soothed it away with his thumb.

"For however long this all lasts, yes" Tommy nodded "all tunellers are needed desperately"

"But the stress its bound to put on you..." Viola trailed off nibbling at her bottom lip, he sighed and tugged it out, before she could bite through it, she had done that before.

"It's war, it's stressful" Tommy said ruefully "and you're under similar stress"

Viola waved a hand to brush it off but Tommy arched an eyebrow at her and she shrunk under his knowing gaze.

"How long are you sleeping? How many men have you looked after today? How many died and how much have you blamed yourself?" Tommy asked her rhetorically "we just, we just need to keep on going, just a little longer"

"How long are we going to keep that lie up?" Viola asked with a tinge of bitterness

"We will keep up the truth, our hope, until this war ends and we go home" Tommy told her firmly.

"What would I do without you?" Viola murmured

"Why ask a question that will never be answered?" Tommy wondered before his eyes flickered over to the entrance "Dr's are coming I'll disappear before you get into trouble"

"Go" Viola wriggled her fingers at Tommy who stood, stole a kiss and strode out the tent firmly placing his uniform cap on tightly, she admired him for a moment, imprinting the image of him silhouetted against the setting sun, looking so strong and firm before heading over to a patient and helping him roll over to throw up into a basin. He had a fever and the infection seemed to only be spreading. She settled herself into standing vigil over yet another dying man that night.

From February twenty-first to December eighteenth of that year wars raged across France but two battles took her focus. What would be known as the battle of Verdun raged on the hills north of Verdun-sur-Meuse. In the first three days the Germans had captured Fort Douaumont,

Marshal Philippe Pétain, the general of the French Army, ordered there to be no retreat and that German attacks were to be counter-attacked, despite this exposing French infantry to the German artillery.

Of course, this bolstered the men who had just joined the army, but the men who had been here for a couple of years merely resigned themselves, they had lost the spirit of the newbies but had a gritty determination to finish what had been started.

The medical practitioners had been furious at the blatant waste of lives over one man's ego and refusal to retreat and resigned themselves to scraping together whatever medical supplies they could...what other option was there? They had their vows and refused to break them, refused to abandon their patients. There was also the threat of death for cowardice and desertion.

By 29 March, French guns on the west bank had begun a constant bombardment of Germans on the east bank, causing many infantry casualties. The German offensive was extended to the west bank of the Meuse to gain observation and eliminate the French artillery firing over the river but the attacks failed to reach their objectives.

Viola didn't remember much of that month or the ones following, it had been a whirlwind of one patient after another, never enough, for every one she managed to save, ten would die and she felt herself becoming slimmer, the eyebags growing larger. Time spent on healing rather than eating or sleeping.

When there was a moment, she would either choke down some rations or nap for five minutes before waking on a choked scream, getting up to bury herself into work at least with work she would be single-minded, her demons pushed away and forgotten for a brief respite...all for the price of more nightmares.

It helped whenever she saw Tommy, uncaring of propriety- not that anyone truly cared, so long as there weren't any pregnancies- and there were but those women were always shuffled back to England quietly.

When she was curled up with him, the nightmares were there but without the feeling of fright because Tommy chased that away, her shield against the world, for him, holding her managed to ground him and push away the demons so he could sleep and find a moment of peace.

Tommy had also slimmed down, the stress getting to him as he became even more paranoid, each noise making him jump, his hands would clamp around her and refuse to allow her to move, cuddling her like a teddy bear and matching his breath to hers. The ticking of a clock would make him twitch, head on a swivel as he would possessively cling to her, near snarling at anyone who came close or eyed her too closely.

When it wasn't him, it was John or Arthur sat with her, letting her sleep on them, they couldn't provide the sense of security Tommy could but it was close and any peace in war was jealously coveted.

In early May, the Germans had apparently changed tactics again according to one Captain and soon made local attacks and counter-attacks; the French recaptured part of Fort Douaumont but then the Germans ejected them and took many men prisoners. The Germans tried alternating their attacks on either side of the Meuse and in June captured Fort Vaux. The Germans advanced forwards and Tommy and his unit were sent out more and more frequently, not allowed any rest between skirmishes, at Fleury-devant-Douaumont and Fort Souville, driving a salient into the French defences. Fleury was captured and the Germans came within 2.5 miles of the Verdun citadel but in July the offensive was cut back to provide troops, artillery and ammunition for the Battle of the Somme, leading to a similar transfer of the French Tenth Army to the Somme front. From 23 June to 17 August, Fleury changed hands sixteen times and a German attack on Fort Souville failed. The offensive was reduced further but to keep French troops away from the Somme, ruses were used to disguise the change.

In September and December, French counter-offensives recaptured much ground on the east bank and recovered Fort Douaumont and Fort Vaux.

By the time the battle had been settled it had lasted for three hundred and two days, it was an incredibly costly in lives. the French had suffered three hundred seventy-seven thousand two hundred thirty-one casualties and the Germans three hundred thirty-seven thousand. An average of seventy thousand a month.

There were nine hundred and seventy-six thousand casualties, and over a million in the vicinity of Verdun.

At the same time from the first of July to the Eighteenth of November- the battle of the Somme rampaged across the frontlines. The Battle of the Somme also known as the Somme offensive, took place on both sides of the upper reaches of the river Somme in France. The battle was intended to hasten a victory for the Allies. More than three million men fought int the battle and about one million of them were either wounded or killed. The numbers startled Viola whose eyes had turned dead after seeing so many lifeless eyes staring into her own...how could she not come to mirror them?

While it had originally been intended for the French to undertake the main part of the offensive with the allies supporting on the northern flank. However, with the Battle of Verdun, French commanders had to divert and the supporting attack the British were going to provide became the principal effort.

On the first day on the Somme the German 2nd army suffered a serious defeat against the French sixth army, from Foucaucourt-en-Santerre south of the Somme to Maricourt on the north bank and by the Fourth Army from Maricourt to the vicinity of the Albert–Bapaume Road.

Fifty-seven thousand four hundred and seventy casualties were suffered by the British, of which nineteen thousand two hundred and forty were killed. Most of the British casualties were suffered on the front between the Albert–Bapaume road and Gommecourt to the north, which was the area where the principal German defensive effort was made.

It became well known both due to the death count and the use of air power along with the first use of a contraption known as a tank, but they were unreliable due to being new technology.

For the price of so many lives, they had managed to penetrate six miles into the German occupied territory, along the majority of the front. It was their largest gain since the first battle of the Marne in nineteen fourteen. However, Viola heard gossip that the commanding officers were still upset with the result as they failed to capture Péronne and Bapaume, where the German armies maintained their positions over the winter.

/

September 1916-

In September, Viola had a surprising patient, being one of her family's member of staff, Thomas Barrow, he had seemed just as shocked at seeing her, remarking that while he had heard of her being on the frontlines, he had not believed it because why would a Lady do such a thing? Viola had merely replied that she was a nurse now and a Lady later, should she survive.

When she had asked about the nature of his wound, Thomas had gotten very shifty and told her a story that was filled with so many holes that not even a child would have believed him. Viola had mercy on him, she didn't question him and merely began sewing up the hole in his hand. Over the years and especially during those battles Nurses had found themselves doing more Doctorial things, and dealing with the 'minor' wounds, keeping them as their own patients. Viola's first year of service had her adding onto her uniform a bar, two and a half inches long, of red quarter-inch universal lace, to be worn horizontally on left forearm of jacket only, three inches from bottom of cuff.

For two/three years of war service, a further bar was given to her to be worn a quarter of an inch below the last one.

And for Four years' war service and Viola would get to that fourth year, she would. A bar would then be given, four inches long, of blue and white half-inch herring-bone pattern braid, shall be worn horizontally on left forearm of jacket, three inches from bottom of cuff, and shall replace the war service bars previously awarded.

"Oh, it's just a shot to the hand, you'll be alright the scar might be...extensive but with work you'll regain full functionality" Viola had assured Thomas Barrow who had stared at the wound blankly until she had assured him of the chances of healing.

"Really?" Barrow asked with a devastated look in his eyes and that had been all the confirmation she had needed.

Later that day the head Doctor of her sector of the medical tents was making his rounds and eventually they came to Barrow who was sat on his cot, staring down at his hand with an unreadable look.

"And this patient Nurse Crawley? Your thoughts?" Doctor Moreau looked at her expectantly.

Viola took a moment staring into Thomas's storm grey clouds, taking a breath she made a decision.

"He should be sent home" she said promptly, seeing the look of surprise that crossed Thomas's face mirrored by the Doctor but she had seen so many faces pale in death and she was a selfish creature, she didn't want to see Thomas's grey eyes dull and lifeless staring at the roof of the canvas tent.

"You are sure? You're the one caring for him and know him better but with a shot to the hand I would assume it would heal quite well, and he could be kept around to do some work..." The Doctor trailed off

"I'm afraid not" Viola said threading fake sympathy into her voice "it would be best for Barrow to be transferred home to serve for the rest of the war. My Papa Lord Grantham offered up the use of our cottage hospital, Barrow knows the area and people well, I think it best he got there"

"Well, if you think so" the doctor nodded before moving onto the next patient the man had thousands of men to see to on a daily basis, Thomas Barrow would soon be forgotten, his story not looked at or questioned too deeply.

"Why" Barrow asked staring at Viola with wide, shocked eyes.

"I'm a nurse, I save lives" Viola said simply "and you are my friend"

/

Thomas had been transferred back to England, shortly after that conversation and Viola had received a letter from Mama that he had gotten back safe and was working with Dr Clarkson and Sybil at the village hospital. In other news Mrs Patmore's nephew had been executed for cowardice. And apparently Edith had taken up driving a tractor of all things.

She had also run into Matthew who was upset because he was being sent home for a recruitment drive, Viola sympathised with him as she bandaged a knife slash on his leg but offered up the silver lining of getting to see his mother once more, that had him brightening slightly and he promised to send Viola's love to her family. Viola had thanked him and sent him on his way before moving to the next patient.

Sixteen injured prisoners came in later and while they were treated, one died of his wounds. Viola also had to help with several amputations, and one man needed to be given hospice care as a gas attack had eaten away his lungs and he died, choking on his own blood.

/

June-

The allied camp had become a lot livelier, Viola noted, when the Americans had joined them. The men were cheerful and eager to do their part in the war but unfortunately were naïve enough to go drinking and gambling with the British. Between tunnelling gigs, the Shelby boys were gleefully scamming their way through the American troops that had been deployed.

Viola should have reported it, but it settled something in the boys when they were having such light hearted fun, the darkness chased away for a brief moment of respite and the Americans took it well enough, so she sat back, cuddled up to Tommy and enjoyed the show.

/

"Thank you, Darlin,' do I still look handsome or should I buy a bag for my head?" Jackson asked her cheekily he was a very cheerful man from the southern states but was unfortunately very accident prone, he liked to say he was finding a British woman to charm and marry. And he especially enjoyed flirting playfully with Viola, who took it in good cheer, the man was respectful and a bit of laughter around camp was always desired.

"You'll be fine" Viola assured him as she finished wrapping the bandage around his head "there shouldn't be much of a scar left"

"I thought gals find scars attractive?" Jackson asked with a pout

"They do, I'm sure lots of girls will fawn over your scars" Viola smiled at him, the darkness in her eyes lightening up.

"Would you? perhaps you'd like to go dancing once- "Jackson was interrupted by Arthur who had managed to get a nail to his calf and was in for observation and to let it heal a bit before he was returned to the tunnels along with some cracked ribs that he was being very shifty about.

"Oi! Wind your neck in! she's taken" He barked angrily sitting up on the bed, and glaring furiously at the yank

"Arthur, lie back down!" Viola scolded him "your ribs are cracked and don't you dare tear that wound open or else"

"Bah, they're fine but he can't just- "Arthur protested but under her glare laid back down meekly

"Your beau?" Jackson asked her widening his impossible doe green eyes further.

"Future brother-in-law" Viola laughed "he's protective"

"He's scary" Jackson whispered dramatically "get a German to hit on you, I imagine the war will be done in a day"

"I can hear you!" Arthur grumbled at them wriggling his way further into the cot, they were far from comfortable but in comparison to the sleeping quarters in the tunnels, well, it was heaven.

Viola giggled "he's a wonderful big brother, who needs to take his medicine!"

"Ah, don't make me Vi!" Arthur whined petulantly.

At the end of July Mama had sent her a letter detailing the ongoing war between Grandmama and Isobel over turning Downton into a convalescent home, William proposing to Daisy before heading off to war and apparently she ended up accepting.

There were still deaths of course with all the battles going on and Viola found herself more and more disinterested in news of home, sometimes feeling as if she was floating outside of her own body...only the touch of Tommy had her coming back to reality, she didn't know if she was pleased or terrified about her apparent apathy or was its mere tiredness? She didn't know anymore...

But the worse things, had been the two bombs.

The first had fallen some way away from camp and Viola and some others had been dispatched to try and save as many as they could.

That's where Viola Crawley had met Alfie Solomons.

She had been scrambling across the craters, passing dead body after dead body, feeling her hands shake and tremble but they could not be used to heal the dead and so she carried on, passing a giant of a man, she had thought him dead for a brief moment.

But he had coughed and spluttered and she had fallen to her knees next to him, her hands gently resting on his chest.

"Hello, I'm-"

"Are you a fuckin' Angel?" the man had slurred out, eyes wide and disbelieving "thought I was fuckin sure going to hell yea?"

He had a thick cockney accent and she released a breathless laugh as she worked to check his wounds.

"No, darling man, I'm afraid I'm no angel" she told him as she found the wound on his leg, he had shrapnel in there and she bit her lip, she had to get as much shrapnel out that she could, but it was likely the man would have a limp for the rest of his life.

"Hmm, don't believe yah, you're a fuckin' Angel, my Angel" the man declared firmly and Viola blinked down at him as she worked swiftly, thankfully, the man was out of it enough that he either didn't notice the pain or was focused on other things.

"And who is this Angel looking over?" Viola asked him, keeping him occupied as she sowed him up.

"'M Alfie fuckin Solomons, Angel" he said before cracking a laugh "devil like me don't deserve an angel, should just die"

"Not on my watch Alfie Solomons" Viola swore to him fiercely before her eyes flickered up and she paled "Oh no"

"Wha'?" Alfie slurred out attempting to sit up but she pushed him back down

"Mustard gas" she said grimly reaching down but paling when she realised her mask was gone, she had handed it over to another Soldier whose mask had torn.

Clarity seemed to come to Alfie's hazel-grey eyes and he looked her over quickly.

"You don't have one" he grumbled, seemingly scolding her.

Viola laughed "Someone else needed it more, we just have to move quickly"

"I'm not exactly moving anytime soon, Angel" Alfie told her dryly

"Yes, slight problem with that" Viola agreed as she hummed and moved around the small area quickly, glancing nervously at the gas cloud but she couldn't, wouldn't leave Alfie behind. After she had managed to rig up a stretched from torn apart uniforms, and wooden fencing that kept the barbed wire in place.

"You should go" Alfie told her and she shook her head, her hair falling out of her bun

"No" she told him simply.

"Yes" he retorted

"I'm your Angel, Alfie-Bear, I'm not leaving" Viola told him with faux cheerfulness before grunting as she shifted him onto the stretcher. The man was like a bear, solid and strong and really rather heavy.

"Angel, you're as thin as anything" Alfie complained "and I highly doubt you're capable of moving my weight"

Viola snorted in amusement as she carefully started tying him down "Alfie-Bear, I happen to be stronger than I look and rations are hardly appetising"

"You need a good meal" Alfie grumbled before moving with surprising nimbleness and had his mask over her face and the straps tightened, when she reached up to take the mask off- to put it on his face, he snatched her wrist and gave her a warning look "Don't, give it back when we're out Angel"

Viola grunted but nodded her head "Fine" her voice came out with an odd echo as she grabbed the end of the stretcher and started dragging it, Alfie's great bulk was not an easy thing to haul but Viola had found that desperation and determination was a hell of a combination.

When they got far enough away, she ripped the gas mask off and panted from exertion, calling for help as she placed the stretcher down and continued working on Alfie now that they were out of serious immediate danger and just in immediate danger. A fine thing these days.

Alfie blinked slowly at her and she smiled, he reached out a hand and brushed his bear paw of a hand over her cheek "Angel" he slurred out decisively before his eyelashes fluttered and he fell unconscious.

/

When Alfie woke up, Viola was by his bedside, taking his temperature.

"Good morning" she said cheerily "you're doing very well"

"Your fuckin' real?" Alfie asked in shock "I thought I imagined you, Angel"

"No, I'm unfortunately very real" Viola told him in amusement

"I can see that" he drawled out before frowning "I fuckin' hate these cots, their way to small for me"

"I'm sorry, the extra-large cots are reserved for those who don't get shot" Viola scolded him lightly.

"Angel, they started it, I'm just finishing it yea?" Alfie replied as she gently helped him drink a glass of water.

"A single man to win the war?" Viola asked him as she sat on the chair by his bed and reached down to check his pulse, frowning a little when the pulses skipped but it soothed back down.

"Big results require big ambitions." Alfie quoted

"Heraclitus, the weeping philosopher" Viola noted with a smile

"I'm a fan" Alfie said "A man's character is his fate' 'God is day and night, winter and summer, war and peace, surfeit and hunger."

"I'm more a fan of Democritus" Viola told him

"The laughing philosopher" Alfie remarked

"Hmm, Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul." Viola quoted

Alfie scoffed a little "what happiness is there to be found in this place?"

"Well debating philosophy with a handsome gent like you surely brings happiness" Viola told him as she finished checking his vitals.

Alfie grumbled "I've never been accused of being a gent before, I used to go to the library yea? And read and read, trying to educate myself about our world when the teachers refused"

"Excellence is never an accident. It is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, and intelligent execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives – choice, not chance, determines your destiny." Viola quoted Aristotle and Alfie smiled

"Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all." He replied and Viola beamed.

Alfie soon became Viola's favourite patient. The man was well-educated, intelligent and a completely self-made man. He was gruff but kind in a subtle way that she almost overlooked and missed.

The kindest he had been was when they had been settled on the cliff side camp, overlooking one of the many battles raging overhead.

Viola wasn't sure if the boy that she was attending to was from Verdun or Somme or one of the other countless skirmishes but it had hit her hard. The boy had confessed about lying on his enlistment form, stating that he was older than he actually was, he had spent the last few minutes of his life, sobbing and begging her not to tell his mother, that he was sorry, that it hurt...

Viola could do nothing but try and soothe his pain, and give him false platitudes and assurances, carefully wiping away the sweat that had beaded on his forehead, wiping away his honey blond curls and he looked at her with pain filled sky-blue eyes.

When the boy, Peter had taken his breath she had gently moved his body for preparation and headed up the cliff to sob her heart out, the absolute agony of watching such a short and innocent life fade away breaking her in a new and terrible way.

She had been out of it but not enough that her awareness had faded, so when a branch snapped behind her, Viola was spinning around and carefully watching the woods around her, but she tucked her razor out of sight when she saw Alfie. Wiping the tears from her face and plastering on a smile.

"Alfie! Goodness, why are you out of bed? You will irritate your injuries" Viola questioned in concern

Alfie ignored her question

"You crying" he said softly lumbering closer to her, limping with his bad leg but stubbornly continuing forward.

"I just- pollen, it's getting to me is all" Viola lied with a smile, brushing off his concern

Alfie paused and frowned at her "Don't lie to me yea? Makes me look like a fuckin' twat" he requested and she winced feeling shamed. Taking a breath, Viola decided to be honest with him.

"I look down on them fighting and killing and dying all I can do is watch. I can't save them all, I won't save them all and it tears me apart because, because I want too so, so desperately. The boy and God he was a boy today. He was sixteen, he lied because he wanted to serve and where did that land him? in a foreign country with his guts spilling out of him and crying for his Mama" Viola spat out tears falling down her face once more.

Alfie sighed and spoke "Angels always do. It's not for pure beings like you to understand the filth of humanity"

Viola snorted and questioned "How can I be an angel when my hands are stained crimson? Still dripping blood? With my very soul is tainted by the darkness...is there even a light at the end of the tunnel? Is there salvation? Or is this it? Have the trumpets sounded? War, pestilence, famine and death ride across the world as we speak...has the end of days come and we are fighting an inevitable conclusion?"

Staring at the battle raging so far away and yet so close, Viola could feel the world as if they were on a precipice.

Alfie hummed, taking in her thoughts and deciding to be honest and vulnerable. Something he had never been

"I thought I was dead yea? In that fuckin' ditch with those bullets my life spilling out in buckets of red... I thought gunfire and smoke would be the last I saw, that the screams of my comrades would be the last I heard...I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, there you were. My malach, my angel come to take me to Sheol or Gehinnom but you dragged my corpse back, refused to give up on me, saved my life patched me up and stayed by my side. My own salvation you are, my angel" Alfie told her softly before gently taking her hands, cradling them in his large hands "maybe I don't- no I know I don't deserve you, angel, that I didn't deserve that salvation but I prayed. I had prayed בבקשה אלוהים תן לי לחיות, asking God to let me live and you came, I won't...and now I'm yours, my life is yours because you saved me angel"

Viola swallowed heavily at the...the emotion in Alfie's eyes, his earnest eyes. And managed a small smile for the man.

"You deserved to be saved Alfie, I just wish I could have saved more" Viola laughed broken "but how, how can these hands carry on?"

"Your hands are still kind, gentle, capable of healing when I'm just made for killin'. You've saved hundreds, thousands throughout this war" Alfie told her gently, soothing away her fears.

"And failed millions" she whispered staring up at him, looking for her own salvation and Alfie was willing to provide.

"What of the millions of wives, sisters, mothers, nieces and cousins those men will go back to? All because of you angel" Alfie told her "And when they go home, those women will send prayers to you, thanking you for bringing their loved one's home"

Viola smiled before looking down on the camp below them, concern taking over her face "My tommy is down there"

Your...Tommy? Alfie asked gruffly, his eyes fixated on the ground as he released her hands, praying Tommy was a relation.

"The man I love" Viola explained, not seeing the heartbroken look in Alfie's eyes "The man I want to marry who chased me and claimed we would marry the first day we met and I don't know if he's dead or alive. fighting down there."

"He's alive" Alfie told her solemnly "he's got you to come back to, so of course he will. He'd fight God and death and win because he has an angel waiting for him, blessing him, looking over him"

"Quite literally" Viola joked weakly gesturing to the cliffs edge high above the fighting it felt like another world like she truly was an angel looking down on a war torn earth

While she had been watching down below, Alfie had stiffly walked around and plucked her a bouquet of the sad little flowers dotting around the open space. He tapped her shoulder and presented her with them "chin up, Angel, we've got a war to win" Viola never saw the yearning in his eyes with resigned acceptance following after.

Alfie set himself to loving his angel from afar but wasn't that the way of it? When a mortal fell in love with a diving being...tragedy always followed.

/

Viola had been touring the trenches when the second bomb had fallen. They had sent a group down to the trenches to check over the soldiers and clear up any minor cuts, wounds or illness. Viola had lit up when she'd saw Tommy who was sat waiting to be seen, with a black eye, bruised cheek and split lip.

For some reason Jeremiah Jesus, a very calm and kind man was also sporting several wounds, when she asked the men, they claimed several clumsy incidents. In reality Tommy had asked Jeremiah to beat him so he could see Viola, Jeremiah had raised an eyebrow at the man but then agreed so long as Tommy hit back.

He agreed and here he was, smugly pleased with himself that he got to see Viola, have her hands on him...she had been about to come over from tending to Arthur who had gotten into a scrap with an American, over what Arthur wasn't confessing but he was shifty. Why Arthur had been put so far ahead of Tommy in the line, he didn't know but he'd make his brother doing something unsavoury in order to get his revenge.

He was sat in front of the entrance to one bunk staring dreamily at Viola and glaring at Arthur down the way from him when Tommy acted, glancing up at the sky.

Tommy didn't know what it was, some instinct or divine vision...but his eyes flicked up as the whistling noise hit him, glancing up there was a bomb...heading straight for them, for Viola.

He had lunged to his feet with the intention of...he didn't know, what could Tommy do against a bomb? He could at least try to cover Viola...but the bomb had hit and he'd been tossed aside like a rag fuckin' doll.

Blinking the white flash from his eyes, Tommy stumbled to his feet unable to hear past the ringing. Tommy, swiftly looked around head counting and coming up short. Where the fuck was Arthur? Where the fuck was Viola?!

"Viola?!" He had roared, ignoring the dust and the risk of attracting the enemy's attention, he had to find Viola, he had to, what if she was hurt? What if she was bleeding out and needed help? What if some Germans were making a play for their territory and they'd found Viola, she had her razor sure but that was jack fucking nothin' against a gun! Why hadn't he taught her how to use a gun?!

"Viola?! Viola?! Where are you?! Fuck! Arthur, Viola?! STALIC TINTREACH!" he bellowed, heart pounding as he spun, where was she, why couldn't he see her? Viola, Viola, Viola.

And Arthur, where was Arthur? He'd been with Viola, so they must be together...safe and together, yes, that must be it, he needed to find them, keep them safe. He was running on instincts and feeling a feral wildness clawing at his insides, tearing him up and it wouldn't stop until he had Viola safe in his arms, where he could keep the rest of the world away from her.

He shook his head and focused, stumbling around and ignoring the groans of men around him, he grabbed onto some sandbags when his legs threatened to collapse underneath him, not until he had Viola in his arms would he rest.

"Fuck! Tommy what are you doing!" John bellowed into his ear as a rush of noise came back, near overwhelming him.

"Stailc tintreach" Tommy slurred out at John with a fierce frown "gotta find 'er and Arthur..."

"Best not to fuckin' go fleeing into no man's land then Tommy!" John bellowed at him, slamming him against a trench wall, John had a fierce cut in the side of his head, weeping blood and his shoulder was hanging uselessly.

"Fuck John, your shoulder" Tommy muttered in concern

"My shoulder? Should be focusing on yourself Tom! You're a mess!" John told him

"No, 'm fine" Tommy brushed off, he didn't feel any pain so what was the problem? He had to find Viola and Arthur, had to make sure they were okay.

"You're not fucking okay Tom!" John shouted but Tommy pushed off the wall and stared down past the ruined, trench, part of it blown up and smoking from the bomb hitting.

"You're right" Tommy softly murmured to his brother "I won't be alright until I have Viola in my arms and Arthur by our side, so John, look at the bunny"

"What bunny?" John asked looking around in confusion, in his moment of distraction Tommy reached out and snatched John's shoulder before snapping it into place.

"Motherfuckin' cunt bastard son of a whore!" John yelled in pain.

"You kiss your wife with that mouth?" Tommy asked his brother calmly, ice-blue eyes were blank and intently focused. He felt as if he was floating outside of his own body, disconnected but what else could be expected? His Viola was missing...but not dead, no, no, not that, never that.

"And a lot more beside" John told him with a smirk before becoming serious "I need Viola John"

"We'll find her" John assured his brother carefully, John had never seen Tommy like this blank but emotionally charged, the eye of the storm and oncoming hurricane.

Tommy tilted his head a small, malicious smile flitting across her face "Of course we will, Johnny-boy"

There were several miles between him and his Viola, anyone who got in the way was going to fuckin' die. Every time he'd killed so far in war it had been merely business, he'd been doing his duty and it had been them or him. Tommy had chosen himself, his brothers and his comrades.

But this, this was an attack that had caught up Viola and now she was stuck maybe hurt, maybe not but he knew her, knew his stailc tintreach, there were injured and dying men abound and she took her duties seriously. Tommy needed to get to her and protect her until she was safe back at the rear of the frontlines. Tommy had to pray and hope that Arthur was with her, he knew Arthur would protect his future sister with his life if needed. Arthur was and had always been a fierce defender of their family and he'd fight tooth and nail to keep Viola safe until they were reunited.

/

Viola gasped awake, rolling onto her side and heaving. The last she had recalled she had been laughing at Arthur who had been grumbling about losing a bet against a yank and then his eyes had widened and she had been knocked into him, by a unseen force, Arthur's arms had wrapped around her, hand cradling her head protectively as they had been thrown about, and she felt as if her breath had been stolen away and then...unconsciousness had greeted her.

"Vi! Fuck, there you are!" Arthur's hand landed on her back rubbing to help her clear the dust and gunk out of her throat "I was so worried, are you alright? Does anything hurt? Fuck I'm...I don't know how to check. I tried to protect you but, but we were torn apart...fuck!"

"I'm okay" Viola coughed out "Where's Tommy? Fuck it, where's Tommy...Arthur where's Tommy-"

Viola choked on her breath as tears welled in her eyes "Arthur, where's Tommy...God that, that bomb, was, was it a bomb? it-it came out of nowhere!"

She felt like a child begging for her teddy bear, like when she was a little girl and would cuddle up with her carousel candle lamp and watch the horses dance on the wall in order to chase away the monsters and soothe her nightmares.

Arthur's eyes widened at how Viola's entire body was shaking, her face sweating as she gasped, eyes blown wide. He didn't know what was going on, didn't know how to help so he started to ramble reassurances at her. That...that helped right? Ma used to talk to him, chase away the nightmares with old gypsy tales of heroes and adventures. She was scared for Tommy so he just had to get rid of that fear, right?

Why wasn't Tommy here? 'E was so much better with words and...well, if Tommy was here E'd make sure ever'ythin' would be alrigh' but no Tommy had to be a mile or so away, which here was a world away...

"It's gonna be alrigh' I promise yeh, I promise, eh, look at me Vi, LOOK AT ME!" Arthur panicked and slapped her, wincing at the sound of it and the shocked look she levelled at him before focusing once more.

Viola looked up at him panting wildly "T-tommy"

Shit, fuck, Arthur couldn't give her what she wanted.

"Tommy's FINE Vi, 'e's fine, it's Tommy fuckin' Shelby only he can kill himself yeah, but we gotta get back to him. you and me, we gotta get back to 'im" Arthur ranted at her, pushing aside his own concerns, he needed to get Viola to safety and then, he would go and find his brothers and they would be alright. They would.

"He'll be having kittens" Viola weakly jokde and Arthur gave a bark of laughter though his entire body was shaking, he was solely focused on getting his little sister to safety, back to his brother. That's all that was important right now, everything else could wait. Everything else was inconsequential. He started leading Viola away but she dug her heels in and started twisting around to try and reach out to a man close to them.

"I-I have to help them, Arthur!" Viola protested reaching out for one man who was screaming in pain "I'm a nurse, it's my job, I have to!"

"They're dead men Vi!" Arthur shouted at her, wanting her to get it through her head, to be selfish for once.

"DEAR GOD, SOMEONE, PLEASE GOD, SOMEONE HELP PLEASE" a young man's voice screamed and Viola tore herself out of Arthurs grip running into the smoke with Arthur cursing and chasing after her. How can she be so reckless?! They were in the middle of a fuckin' war!

He found Viola on her knees beside the Soldier, who was holding his own guts, Viola was gently speaking to the soldier in a soothing tone "It's alright, I'm here and everything is going to be okay"

Arthur was dumbfounded for a moment, here they were in the middle of hell, the world ending around them and Viola was knelt there over the dead man cooing at him and trying to help...he looked at her as if she was his salvation but Arthur knew where the wind was blowing.

But Viola wouldn't leave his side until the man took his last breath, he and the soldier shared a look before understanding followed. Arthur could feel a piece of his soul shrivel up and die but he did what he had to. For his family.

Arthur pulled out his gun and shot the soldier, his comrade, his brother in arms in the head. At least it was quick and painless. The thought did nothing to wash the red from Arthurs book however.

While he fetched the gun from the dead soldier, Viola had let out a shriek of surprise but Arthur turned his back on the man, giving him a silent prayer before bending down and hefting Viola up over his shoulder ignoring the searing pain in his side as he began sprinting, he had to find safety, had to find Tommy, had to find John, had to find safety, had to find Tommy, had to find John-

Viola beat on Arthur's back, tears streaming down her face as she demanded hysterically "Why?! Arthur Why?! I had to help-I had to help! What use am I if I cannot help?!"

Seeing a place to take temporary cover, Arthur darted for the corpse of trees, praying none of the whizzing bullets would hit him or Viola. When he reached the widest tree, he could, he put Viola onto her feet and gently pressed her against the trunk, she was still hysterical now pushing against his chest weakly which heaved from the exertion he had just placed on his already taxed body. If this war had taught Arthur anything was that so long as there was enough bullheadedness, there weren't any limitations.

Arthur had to snap her out of it "Vi! He was dead! Do you understand?! He was dead, he just happened to still be breathing! We need to save ourselves right now!"

He then pulled out the dead soldier's gun and pressed it into her shaking hands "Now take this gun, take it Vi and you shoot anything that moves like when we go hunting for birds or rabbits alrigh'? you do what you gotta do"

Viola shook her head wildly from side to side, crying out "But they're human! They aren't animals! I can't Arthur!"

"You can and you fuckin' will" Arthur told Viola fiercely "All anyone is right now, is an animal in a bear trap tearing at themselves and anyone around them in order to survive, Understand?!"

Viola sniffled, her grip tightening around the heavy gun that felt too big in her hands and nodded her head "I'm sorry Arthur, I lost myself"

She could feel bile threatening to rise but she stubbornly swallowed it back.

"Everyone does at some point" Arthur said in gruff kindness "But when you do, I'll come looking yea? Shelby's look after each other and We'll always find you. Now, let's go find John and Tommy"

"Oh, Arthur you're hurt!" Viola realised seeing the dark red spot on his side, slowly spreading and soaking through his uniform.

"It's fine, it's nothing" Arthur brushed off "I'll get it seen to when we're safe"

"It's not!" Viola hissed "let me see, if we leave it, you could get an infection!"

"We need to go, Vi, the wound can wait" Arthur huffed trying to push her insistent hands away.

"I need to stitch it up, Arthur, I can't carry you if you collapse and I have no clue where we are but you do" Viola told him and he sighed and grumbled but unbuttoned his jacket and shirt, letting her see his side.

Viola hissed between her teeth and Arthur raised an eyebrow "That doesn't sound very good"

"It's just over a large surface, I'm sorry Ar, this is going to hurt" Viola said apologetically and he grimaced reaching into one of his pockets and pulling out a medium sized bottle of whisky. It's not like the soldier needed it anymore.

"Go for it" Arthur said as he downed half the bottle in one swig.

Viola pulled out her precious, precious first aid kit and grimaced, she had enough to field dress this wound but...if they got hurt again...they'd be in trouble. Pushing those thoughts away for now, she focused on Arthur, perhaps she could scavenge? She'd seen some red cross armbands on very still bodies.

Arthur grunted above her as she poured the alcohol she had onto his wounds, with a muttered sorry, she hurried along, using tweezers to pull out the fragments of shrapnel that had hit him.

That earnt her a litany of curses but Viola pressed on, her lips pressed tightly together as she tried to push away the fact she was essentially operating on her brother. Once the fragments were tossed aside, the needle and thread came out.

she lathered an antibacterial paste on his wound, then gauze and bandages, she'd have to recheck his wounds when they were out of danger but it would do for now.

When Viola looked up at Arthur, he was panting and sweating, a glassy look in his eyes but when she gently patted his cheek, he focused down on her and took in some breaths.

"You're getttin' me another bottle" Arthur informed her

"If we manage to get through this, I'll buy you an entire cask" Viola promised him easily and Arthur snorted.

"We will get through this, let's go Vi, sooner we're out of here, the better" Arthur said decisively as he carefully looked around, the bomb hitting had somewhat damaged his understanding as to where they were but when he spotted the British soldier that was hanging dead over some barbed wire, looking as if he was bowing with hand picked clean to the bone, he knew where they had to go.

Arthur dithered for a moment before placing Viola next to him, so she was protected between his body and on the other side the inner trench wall, he held his gun in one hand, prepared to shoot anyone that was vaguely hostile towards them, he really didn't want for Viola to have to pull that trigger but he'd rather her have a weapon to defend herself than be stuck in a position where it was needed and she not had it.

/

Once they had managed to get to the outskirts of the epicentre they started coming across soldiers with an actual chance of survival, with that there was no stopping Viola, for each and every soldier, she would stop, offer what first aid she could before allow Arthur to hurry her along, promising that they were going for reinforcements.

Arthur swiftly led the way towards the inner territory of the British, occasionally running into enemies, Arthur took care of them swiftly, always pushing Viola behind some cover before engaging. He might have handed her a gun but he knew that her having to pull that trigger would break something in her, steal an innocence away that...that she'd never get back. It'd destroy something that not even this war had managed to steal away, yet.

When they were but fifty metres away from true safety and reinforcements, when they ran into another group, Viola was shoved behind a falling pile of sandbags, and Arthur took stock of the situation.

It was a group of ten men, all wearing British uniforms but still Arthur was cautious. He had someone precious to protect after all.

"Who the fuck are ya?" Arthur called out carefully angled so he could duck down if they shot at him.

"Arthur?!" Tommy's voice called out for him

"Tommy?!" Arthur yelled back, edging out when Viola moved to step forward, he shot a vicious look and she shrunk back.

The group rushed forward, led by a blood-stained Tommy Shelby,

"You alrigh'?" Tommy asked but he was distracted eyes darting around the place

"'m fine, Viola fixed me up" Arthur assured him gruffly

"Stailc tintreach is here? Where? Is she safe? Is she hurt? Did any shrapnel hit her? Did you run into Germans? Does she have a weapon?" Tommy listed off at Arthur who blinked and held his hands up.

"She's safe, hidden, not hurt, no shrapnel, no enemies- thank God, and yes, her razor and a gun" Arthur listed right back and Tommy nodded his head.

"Stailc tintreach, it's alright, come on out, I'm here now" Tommy called out and a moment later he had a armful of his Viola and the world clicked back into the right place.

"Tommy" she sniffled and he tightened his grip

"It's alright, I'm here" Tommy cooed at her before gently placing her on her feet before looking around, his paranoia kicking up to a new level. He had his Viola and needed to get her back to safety as quickly as possible.

"Right, you lot, new mission, get Viola back to camp, safe, now" Tommy instructed his company and all the Birmingham Boys nodded their head seriously, all of them surrounding the woman, with their heads on a swivel.

/

Disaster struck once again just as they were going to get to base camp. A firefight broke out between them and a group of Germans who had been driven back while trying to escape, unused to the way their trenches had been dug.

Both sides of this small skirmish were desperately trying to stay alive while killing the other and Viola kept quiet and out of the way but her eyes noticed when she spotted something that the others didn't.

They didn't notice the soldier sneaking up on their group, a knife held tightly in hand and eyes focused on her Tommy, it...it was devastatingly easy for Viola to raise the gun and pull the trigger.

When he turned to check on Viola once more a shot sounded and his eyes widened in shock, mouth parted as his heart broke at the sight in front of him. Viola stood with tears streaming down her face, a gun held out in a shaky hand, the barrel smoking and just in front of his feet was a dead German soldier with a knife in hand.

Viola had tears in her eyes, her hands shaking as the barrel of the gun she was holding smoked lightly. She hiccupped and stared at Tommy's blue eyes, as her knees buckled, he lunged forward and caught her around the waist, other hand gently taking the gun.

"It's alright Stailc tintreach, you did the right thing, you saved me, you saved me Viola aye? It's alright" Tommy told her as she limply wrapped her arms around his neck and wept silently.

"Tommy...?" John asked hesitantly

Tommy shook his head and scooped Viola up into his arms "Let's go" he said roughly, Arthur's eyes mirrored his own, both with a heart shattering helplessness.

/

Alfie had seen the bomb drop, and hadn't much cared, turning his attention back to the book of philosophy he'd packed before leaving for the war effort, it had been something he'd taken on a whim but had proven its worth a thousand times over. There were other books that other Soldiers had brought, one man had a book of poems he was planning on borrowing or stealing, maybe he'd impress Angel. Though she was late for her rounds today, and he was trying not to worry. She was probably late rolling bandages or sorting out some beds or...something. He knew she had a lot of work to do and tried to keep it in mind but he jealously guarded the precious time he got with her.

"Oh, those poor soldiers" One nurse had whispered to another

"I know, I can't imagine" the other replied heart on her chest

"Ain't nothing knew, ladies" Alfie said casually "Fuckers like them are dying by the hundreds by the second"

"Well, the Doctors and Nurses that are down there are new" Nurse James told him with an arched eyebrow.

Alfie tensed and causally placed his book on his lap.

"An attachment...who went?" Alfie asked the bad feeling in his gut intensifying.

The nurse listed off some inconsequential names of who fucking cares before listing off one name that had his world tilting.

"-and Viola Crawley, poor woman, but she's always been one to throw herself into danger recklessly" Nurse James said

"But she's brave, she's been serving for so long" Nurse Harrison said in admiration and Alfie placed her as a newer nurse, she didn't have that harrowed look on her face just yet.

"Angel?" Alfie demanded sharply "My Angel is in the fucking trenches where that fucking bomb just fell?!"

"Well, may- "one of the Nurses started but Alfie shook his head and threw the blanket off, snatching his gun, he lumbered to his feet and was out of the tent in a flash, ignoring his leg screaming at him to stop but the adrenaline soon pushed it away. He'd pay the price later.

When he got to the front of the rear, he still didn't have a plan except to run into the trenches and kill any fuckers he came across until he got to his Angel and could protect her and bring her back. But as he was about to head off, he came across a large crowd of people bustling about, hazel-grey eyes searched the injured on the stretchers before looking through the crowd and spotting her, in the middle of a group of men, all of them looking tense and suspicious.

"Angel? Fuckin hell Angel, what the fuck?" Alfie shoved his way through the small crowd of Birmingham boys going by their accents.

"Who the bloody fuck are you?" One demanded, stepping forward and glaring at him suspiciously

"Who I am isn't important" Alfie snapped back before focusing on Viola, not even glancing at the man wrapped around her "Viola, are you okay? I saw...I saw the bomb, I, I thought-"

"I'm alright Alfie" Viola twisted in Tommy's arms to focus on him and his face relaxed into his normal thoughtful expression.

"Who. Are. You?" Tommy hissed out between his teeth, who the fuck was this man and why the fuck was he calling HIS Stailc tintreach, Angel? What the fuck?! His hand twitched to his gun. Before settling back around Viola's waist, grip tightening possessively.

"I'm Alfie fuckin' Solomons" Alfie told him gruffly before eyeing him up "You must be Tommy, bit lean ain't ya?"

"Not all of us can be so rotund" Tommy batted back

Alfie took a step forward before his face twisted in pain due to putting weight on his bad leg, Viola leapt out of Tommy's arms and braced Alfie, her hands on his chest as she looked up at him in concern.

"Alfie, just what do you think your doing out of bed?! And especially without your cane?!" Viola scolded him "You'll aggravate your injuries!"

"I wouldn't 'ave to fuckin' walk on my bad leg if you weren't going around gettin' blown up for cunts that don' deserve it, Angel!" He scolded her right back, taking advantage of having her in his arms to check for any injuries, frowning at the scrap on her palm.

"Those men are our soldiers and it's my job as a nurse to throw myself into danger to look after them and I hardly knew that a bomb was going to drop!" Viola told him with a sigh and he grumbled at her incoherently, seeing her point but refusing to concede.

"Come on, Alfie" Viola sighed "Let's get you back to bed, and next time don't go running off without your cane, I'm going to have to check your leg again"

"Fine, Angel, we'll go to bed" Alfie huffed as he leant his weight on her slightly, wrapping an arm around her waist and making sure to send a sly wink at a thunderously looking Tommy over her head, the man was shaking in rage, fists clenched but being kept in place by the other two men.

/

1918

During 1918 the air of the western front seemed to change, an almost anticipation that creeped up Viola's spine, she had finally reached her four years of service and was feeling very...reflective, so she sent a letter to her Mama.

Dear Mama,

I have missed you so, I am tired, the war continues and I find myself flagging. It has been four years of this hell. And I need my Mama...the soldiers, they say I am a bright spot in the darkness, that I make them laugh, bolster their spirits but my light is diming so I must write to you.

You have always fixed my ills and perhaps you can fix this, perhaps not...I don't need fixing just...to have my fire relit I suppose?

I have not seen my Tommy in three months, it hurts, I feel as if my heart has been torn out, as if my soul is missing. Whenever he is near, this war fades, it feels conquerable but when he is gone...I am alone in madness and chaos. As if the ship is sinking and the dead are dragging me down with them.

But I must soldier on, though I am a mere nurse. They need me, and I suppose I feel fulfilled with being needed, to do something...

I'm sorry Mama, I don't- I don't even know what I am writing, do you remember when I used to hide in your bed during thunderstorms? Your arms wrapped around me...I would feel so safe as nothing would harm me...the thunderstorm is here Mama and I have no arms around me, shielding me from this world, because my Tommy is not here.

With...tiredness,

Viola

Her admittance had a barrage of letters come flying at her all filled with reassurances and love but still...Viola just, set them aside after reading them. Going back to the constant barrage of death, injuries, disfigurement and amputations. She moved through the medical tents and camp feeling as if she was a ghost, the world around her disconnected or even unreal but even the thought of home felt odd, as if that wasn't real either...

Tommy and her brothers managed to break through her fog, Alfie too but when they went away so did the feeling of connection, of reality.

Not even the news of a missing Matthew and William, told to her by a worried John managed to quite snap her out of whatever...mirrored world she found herself in.

They were bombarded by German artillery, nothing new and Viola spoke false words of comfort as her hands worked to heal what she could, soothe what she couldn't and close the eyes of those who had passed on.

Matthew and William came passing through at one point and Viola told them, she was pleased that they were okay, only to be proven false when a moment or a month later- time had gotten just so difficult to keep- where Matthew suffered a serious spinal injury and was on one of her cots a s was William who had terminal injuries, Viola found it strinkingly easy to tell Matthew but his face- the face of the sweet, eager footman who never complained and always happy to help blurred with a thousand others, some with devastated eyes, others with blind hope for salvation, more with accusing eyes and most of all those with the resigned, weary acceptance and that tiny spark of relief. That, for them, the fight was over.

Viola sometimes found herself burning with envy, that the fight was done for them but she had to carry on. sometimes, it was the last thing she wanted. When those dark thoughts crept in, she'd try to seek out Tommy who would look at her with knowing, non-judgemental eyes and chase away the fog, letting in the pain but the pain reminded her that she was alive and so she embraced it.

The fact that Mary was going to get married was rather odd to Viola but she was still uncaring, only offering a hallow letter filled with false congratulations. Mary's own answering letter was just as stilted but brought a slight tinge of amusement when she was informed about Edith and Cousin 'Patrick'. Viola had instantly scoffed at the idea of their cousin surviving and sent back a viciously scathing letter of her thoughts on it and the naivety of Edith. Later, when reflecting she couldn't find herself caring about the vitriol she had spat.

She shared a sad goodbye with Alfie when he informed her that he was being shipped back home, he had done what he could to stay around but he ruefully told her that they had no use for a cripple. Viola had brushed that off and assured that just because he had a limp, didn't mean he was a cripple, he still had his brain, didn't he?

Alfie had laughed loudly at that, picking her up and spinning around before settling her back down. She had held him as close as possible, trying to comfort him as much as she could, and Alfie kept a tight grip on her, reassuring her that he would write to her often.

It had hurt to see Alfie go, the man was a fun conversationalist, excellent listener, thoughtful and incredibly insightful. But when the first letter had come, it felt as if Alfie was by her side and she carefully kept them tucked away, re-reading them when she had some downtime and writing back as much as she could.

November however, broke her out of her fog. Because the war ended.

On November 11th 1918 they got the word that the advance to Germany had been a wild success and at 6am that morning they had signed the Armistice of Compiègne. And at 11am, the fighting ended and politics took over.

For a brief moment Viola just stood there in shock, like everyone around her. The war, the deaths, the fighting...all they had known for the past four years...was done? It was over? Viola jerked feeling the world fall out underneath her before one of her patients whimpered and burst into tears and Viola lurched forward. War or no war, her patients needed her and she took a breath as a true smile tugged at her lips, a small spark of life entering her eyes.

She was later hunted down by Tommy and stolen away to be hoarded by him, surrounded by the Birmingham Boys. They shared a meal of rations and somehow John had managed to find some tea bags so they sipped on that in the cold air. Eventually they all started to nod off, finally the fact they were safe was sinking in, that there were no more battles to fight and Viola's long, long hours was finally back onto a normal nursing shift.

Tommy grumbled and lifted her up, heading towards tent, thankfully it was empty but was soon filled up with Birmingham Boys, Tommy picked the safest place and set Viola down on a bed of blankets before plopping down next to her and curling up around her.

John and Arthur laid down next to them, used to close quarters from tunnelling and fell asleep, Tommy still paranoid picked three men in the room and ordered a watch to be kept before burying his face into Viola's hair and passing out.

/

"Tommy, I want to marry you" Viola told him, lifting herself off from where she'd been relaxing against his chest. Tommy blinked trying to figure out if he was awake or still sleeping, the tiredness suggested awake as did the wet spot on his chest but the fact Viola was asking to get married was a strong indicator, he was still asleep.

"I thought, I thought you wanted to wait" Tommy replied in confusion, they were both bloodied and dirtied from the war, even if it they had just been told the war had finished, they were just basking in the fact that they had survived and gotten a decent night's sleep.

Viola was covered in all kinds of fluids, her hair mussed, face gaunt with large eyebags and a haunted look in her eyes but God, she had never been more beautiful to him, in the soft evening light. Alive and breathing and having survived the war.

"Tommy, we've just survived hell and come out the other side" Viola breathed out, reverently trailing her eyes over Tommy's face and memorising him once more, knowing they had the rest of their lives "I want to go into this new world as Viola Shelby, with the man I love"

"Polly will kill us if she isn't involved in the wedding" Tommy told her reluctantly all he wanted was to marry this girl, she was the main reason he had kept pushing. His brothers too but mostly his stailc tintreach, always his lightning strike. And the relief of survival had him feeling giddy though his features didn't shift, he felt like they never would again...but he was sure his eyes showed his true emotions.

"We'll have a ceremony when we get back" Viola waved off "C'mon Tommy-boy, marry me"

"I'm supposed to propose" he grumbled at her, though he was coming around to her pleading.

Viola laughed brightly "you've done it enough, I'm fairly certain it's my turn"

Tommy let out a breathless laugh, blue eyes lighting up and chasing away the darkness for a moment but then a small furrow appeared in his eyebrows "we don't have a priest"

"What are you talking about Tommy? There's me" Jeremiah Jesus chided Tommy, pulling out the cross he always wore and laying it outside his uniform, he had been the last man on watch and had been calmly flicking through his bible, some rations on a table beside him, free for the taking.

"Sorry, Jeremiah" Tommy apologised before a grin actually managed to crack across his face "just not thinking straight right now, after all, it's my wedding day and I'm marrying the love of my life!"

"Fuck yeah Tommy!" Arthur bellowed over the cheers of the soldiers around them. The men who had followed him into hell and they had all come out the other side...mostly intact.

They then moved swiftly in a focused chaos that had some soldiers jumping nervously but then word spread and all wanting to celebrate both the end of the war and something joyous going on, they had volunteer after volunteer. All eagerly rushing around to prepare a wedding.

Viola had requested that the wedding ceremony be set up on the cliff, because it had been a place of peace and comfort for her, Tommy had easily agreed, watching with eyes filled with amusement as his men scrambled about to give them a day worth remembering.

The nurses had managed a miracle for Viola, they had found a clean nurse's uniform and while they'd bemoaned the fact that she couldn't wear a wedding dress, Viola had firmly said she was happy to marry in her nurses' uniform, just as Tommy would marry in his Sergeant Major uniform.

Once her sisters had finished helping her and marched out to head to where the ceremony had been set up, Viola was left to her own thoughts.

"Vi? Its Arthur, I just saw the other Nurses leaving, can I come in?" Arthur asked her

"Hm? Oh, yes of course, come in Arthur" Viola invited him and he quickly stepped into the tent, holding something behind his back and shifting on his feet, looking bashful.

"You look lovely, Vi" Arthur complimented her gruffly and she smiled

"Thank you, Arthur" she replied "Do you think Tommy will like it?"

"You could wear a burlap sack and he'd think you look like a Queen" Arthur told her sincerely before coughing "I know this isn't the wedding you probably envisioned as a little girl or stick to the old traditions but I figured you needed at the very least a bouquet"

He held out the hand that had been behind his back and there were a large bouquet of purple camellias and poppies with a couple of forget-me-not clusters, all tied with a leather strap.

"Tommy offered up one of his spare shoulder straps and I found these flowers nearby, don't know what they mean like but I figured that they were pretty and-"

"Walk me down the aisle" Viola blurted out.

Arthur looked behind him, assuming she was talking to someone who'd just entered the tent but seeing no one, he looked at Viola in shock.

"Me?" He rasped out eyes wide

Viola laughed and nodded "Yes, you, you big lug, my darling older brother that I love. who kept me safe, defended me...how can it be anyone else?"

"A-are you sure?" Arthur double-checked. He was used to being the brother that just did his duty without complaint and while he desired recognition, he was resigned to his role in the family and welcomed it.

"Absolutely" Viola said firmly "I want my big brother to walk me down the aisle, the first Shelby I met to be the Shelby to walk me down the aisle and welcome me to the family."

"You met Polly that day" Arthur pointed out quietly

"Polly's not here and also, you showed concern for me, warned me of the dangers and you were kind to me Arthur, I love you like a brother so please, walk me down the aisle so I can marry the man I love?" Viola asked

"A'course I will Vi" Arthur told her and she beamed

Viola reached out taking the bouquet with one hand and hooked her arm with Arthur, who wiped a hand over his face, brushing away a few stray tears at the overwhelming feeling of being recognised

/.

Frost crunched underneath their feet as they walked under the dying autumn leaves but Viola felt like electricity was dancing playfully in her blood. Arthur chuckled as he kept a grip on Viola to stop her from bolting towards Tommy, the moment she clapped eyes on him.

Nothing else was more important to Thomas Shelby than when Viola stepped into view. She was holding his older brother's arm and looking ethereal. If clapping eyes on her for the first time was like a lightning strike, this was being hit directly by Zeus's lightning bolt.

Never in his life, had he been given such clarity. The cold November air clearing away the smoke of the war, her sparkling brown eyes warmed him from the inside and made his heart flutter in a delightful way, reminding him he was alive. Viola Crawley was the greatest love Tommy Shelby would ever know, and now, now they were going to be lawfully married in front of several units of Soldiers, nurses and Doctors. She was walking towards him as Lady Viola Crawley but in a blink of an eye she would be Lady Viola Shelby, his legal wife.

Arthur was soon placing her hand in his and he murmured to her, just how beautiful she looked and then turning expectant, impatient eyes on Jeremiah who had agreed to marry them.

"Dearly beloved." Jeremiah spoke into the waiting silence "We are gathered here today to join together in holy matrimony, Thomas Michael Shelby and Lady Viola Maria Crawley, I do believe you have vows for each other?"

Tommy nodded his head, pulling out a velvet case and opening it, revealing a sapphire engagement ring and two simple golden wedding bands, one larger than the other.

"I've been carrying these rings" Tommy admitted bashfully "When things got dark, I'd open this box, this promise of our future and it would remind me of what I'm fighting for, what I'm surviving for. In this bleak midwinter, I find no bleakness because today, the war ended, today I'm marrying the woman I love."

Tommy smiled at Viola "I promised you, that I would tell you what Stailc tintreach meant on the day you finally married me and it's a story I've been hanging over your head for eight years now"

"Rather gleefully" Viola interjected playfully

He chuckled and smirked "How else was I supposed to entice a Lady to fall for a Gypsy? Without using my witchcraft, charms and stories? I imagine that our story is going to be one hell of a tale for our kids and grandkids, the story of the Lady and her Gypsy but I digress, stailc tintreach means lightening strike and my Ma told me when I was a lad that one day, I would meet a woman and seeing her would be like being struck by lightning and I would just...know, that it would be a vision from God and I would...know"

Tommy took a breath and said "You, when I saw you, it was a lightning strike and I just knew, you were the woman I wanted to marry and spend the rest of my life beside"

Everyone's attention turned to Viola who smiled somewhat wryly

"Well, that's a story certainly worth waiting eight years for and I'm sorry I can't reciprocate, however, what I can reciprocate is the love you hold for me. Tommy, when I met you, I thought you were the most handsome men I had met and then we talked and you were the most charming man I had met. Then you claimed we were going to marry after one day of knowing me and I thought you were the most insane man I had met- "

The crowd broke into chuckles as Tommy smiled down at her.

"-but how could I have doubted a gypsy king's fortune? Tommy you are...everything I wanted, everything I've ever needed and so much more. You make life wonderful and I don't want to spend a single day apart, these past four years have been the greatest challenge I've known and many times I thought that that day, hour, minute, second would be my last. But I was proven wrong. I've never been happier to been proven wrong. I'm excited for our lives together, building a home and family together."

Jeremiah cleared his throat and spoke up, eyes sparkling "Do you, Thomas Michael Shelby, take Lady Viola Maria Crawley to be your lawful wedded wife?"

"I do." Tommy said, his voice clearly ringing out in the clearing.

"Do you, Lady Viola Maria Crawley, solemnly swear to love, honour, and obey till death do you part?" Jeremiah asked her gently

"I do." Viola replied happily, her eyes sparkling up at Tommy.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife." Jeremiah told them with a smile

"" Tommy breathed out reverently his hand cupping her chin.

"Beloved" Viola replied teasingly fluttering her eyelashes and Tommy claimed her lips as her own as the soldiers started whooping and cheering.

The wedding 'feast' passed rather quickly and some dancing as well before Tommy was stealing her away and leading her to an officer's tent that had been offered up and set up a ways away from everyone else, to give the newly married couple some semblance of privacy.

When they got into the tent, Tommy paused momentarily and stared carefully at Viola.

He licked his lips and spoke in a low tone, gentle reassurances threaded in his voice "We, we don't have to do anything Viola, I just want you to be comfortable"

"Husband, if you don't come over here and claim me, we're going to have problems" Viola told him in a threatening voice

Tommy froze solid as his eye blew wide in desire "Say it again" he demanded roughly

"Husband" Viola purred

"Wife" Tommy said with a ferocious baring of his teeth, he lunged at his wife, teeth nipping at her neck, leaving bite marks now that he could, have his claim shown to the world and now, no one could say anything.

"Tommy, I've been waiting eight years, hurry up" Viola whined with impatience

Tommy snorted as he started taking off her clothes "I've been waiting eight years, let me savour you"

He took full advantage of having her underneath him, caressing every inch of her body with his mouth chasing the path his hands took, licking, nipping and sucking. Savouring the taste of her skin, nuzzling into her and taking in her scent.

Tommy was already full erect and pre cum was beading along the tip as he used his fingers to prepare Viola and stretch her, he smirked in satisfaction at making her come undone, underneath him, hands grabbing his hair and tugging in demand.

"Impatient girl" he said with fond exasperation

"Teasing bastard" She retorted as he climbed up her body, pressing chaste kisses until their hips aligned and Viola felt her breath stutter at the feel of him pressed against her but also a spark of nervousness.

"Ready?" Tommy asked her, carefully watching her face for any reluctance

"Yes, Tommy" Viola murmured "I want you"

Tommy hummed and started pressing kisses to her face, to distract her as he slowly pushed into her, swallowing down her slight moan of discomfort until he was comfortable sheathed in her, he kept himself still to allow her to adjust.

Viola blinked at the feeling of fullness, staring up at Tommy's blue eyes that were so tender and loving that she was swallowing the lump in her throat.

"Move" Viola ordered gently and he hummed, moving one of his hands to her hip, the other bracing his weight as he started to pull back, almost making Viola pout at the empty feeling but before she could voice her complaint, he was pushing back in, his cock dragging deliciously against her walls, pleasure sparking over her body.

"Fuck, Vi, you're perfect" Tommy groaned as he settled into a slow rhythm each thrust purposeful and filling her deliciously.

"Tommy, please" Viola huffed her nails digging into the meat of his shoulder "Ah, more"

"Of course," Tommy assured her, reaching down to rub slow circles around her clit.

Viola's hips jerked as pleasure bolted down her spine and her back arched, a loud moan ringing out into the tent "Fuck, Tommy please"

Hearing Viola's clear cut aristocratic accent swearing had Tommy's hips jerking as he picked up his rhythm, a single-minded focus overtaking him as Viola's whimpers and pleas encouraged him to find their pleasure.

Their breath's mingled as Tommy came back to himself, the cold night air prickling against his hot, sweat-soaked body, he tenderly wiped a few locks of brown hair from Viola's sweat soaked forehead, clarity returning to her glazed eyes.

"Why didn't we do that eight years ago?" She murmured

Tommy chuckled into her neck, sneaking a few kisses as he replied "because you're a proper lady"

Viola hummed thoughtfully before saying "Well, right now, I'm just a gangster's wife"

She even teasingly rolled her hips against him, making him groan.

"You make a very valid point Stailc tintreach" He agreed, capturing her lips but with her naked and begging for more, he'd agree to anything.

A/N/

I'm thinking about having a bit of a love triangle between Tommy, Viola and Alfie.

Alfie is going to be in love with Viola but he's never going to act on it...because Viola and Tommy will be married and he respects that but he still yearns for her...hmm whatcha think? I kinda like it. it's a bit of a saviour thing as well.

I feel so bad for Alfie. but I like the drama too much...

Alfie basically prays '"Please, God, let me live"

I hope the long chapter makes up for the late update but Ao3 was down and I like updating at the same time across platforms, also trying to create a Spotify playlist for Viola and Tommy :D