Episode 35: Unhappy Campers Part 1

One day, at St. An's Hospital in the Sloth Ring, Blitz peeks out of the corner of the building to check if the coast is clear. Since the coast is clear, Blitz then runs across to the hospital and starts climbing up the drain gutter downspout before he sneaks on the edge of a windowsill.

Blitz whispers as he tries to open it, "Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on."

He's soon able to open and tries to get in, but his head was having a head time due to his horns blocking the entrance.

He whispers as he manages to get in, "Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit SHIT!" and soon falls through the window and rolls into the room.

Blitz crutches up and looks around for anyone who sees him. However, unknown to Blitz, a hand holding taser shock device comes up from behind and painfully tases him right in the butthole below his tail, making Blitzo fizz and seize in shock with static electricity before falling head first to the ground with smoke fussing out of him.

And soon a voice comes up, "Well, if it isn't the deadbeat."

Blitz gets up after his painful taste and brushes off his sleeves as he says mockingly, "Well if it isn't Nurse Pussy Face."

Turns out the one who has done it is a nurse, she says, "You ain't gettin in here." and crosses her arms and scowls at Blitz, "How many times do I have to sodomize you with a taser before you take a hint?"

Despite being tased, Blitzo doesn't seem all hurt and brushes his coat, "As many as it takes to get me off." And stops brushing and turns back to the nurse, "Now, enough with this foreplay, where's Barb?"

"She checked out months ago, but that ain't none of your business," The nurse says.

Blitz is surprised to hear it and walks to the nurse, his hands shrugs in confusion.

He asks, "Wait, what? How? This is- wh-where the fuck did she go?"

The nurse is skeptical of his intentions and brings up a taser to his face, making Blitzo so nervous and anxious that his tail straightens up and his arms down in fear.

As she says, "Yeah, like I'm gonna tell you, ass clown."

Blitzo regains his composure and stares down at the nurse. "You know, I kill people for a living, right, bitch?"

"Oh, I'm SO FUCKIN scared…" The nurse says, nonchalantly.

Blitzo realizes that the nurse isn't all afraid of him and sighs, "Ugh... Fine." and walks back to the window to begin to climb out of the room.

But the nurse calls back to him, "Blitzo, she's got a job now, a life. Don't fuck it up by finding her.

"Oh, that's nice. Why don't you take that advice and shove it right between your pussy?" Blitz says, annoyed, but soon loses his grip and falls from the building, "Liiiips!" and crashes into the ground.

Sometime later, after the visit, Moxie and Millie are talking to their next client when Blitz bursts open the door, now covered in bush leaves, injuries and dirt all over his clothes and angry. He looks so angry and dejected that he walks past the three of them. Moxxie calls to him to get his attention

"Sir! There's a client here who wants to-" Moxxie speaks up.

But Blitzo doesn't hear him and interrupts Moxxie when he opens the door to his office and slamming it shut loudly. Moxxie and Millie took a second to stare in confusion at Blitz's foul mood today before turning back to the client as Amara and Roy walk to the desk.

Millie laughs and says, "I'm sorry, you were saying?"

The client shrugs his hands as he explains in confusion, "Well, it's just that I'm sure one of the other camp counselors killed me, I'm just not sure which one…"

"How could you not know?" Moxxie asks, confused

"I was out on the lake when my boat," The client explains, pointing his down with both hands, "started to sink. Someone" twirls two fingers to gesture, "had drilled holes in it." and soon stops, "The counselors are the only ones with keys to the boathouse, and they're the only ones who knew I couldn't swim. It had to be them."

While Millie and Roy delightfully smile, Moxxie and Amara have questionable looks on their faces about that work.

"Hmm," Moxxie thinks for a minute as he places his finger under his chin, "We don't typically do investigations," And jabs his thumb to Blitz's office, "I'll have to check with the boss."

Moxxie moves around the desk behind Millie and stops at the front of the office before opening the door.

He calls out, "Uh, pardon moi, sir."

Upon entering, Moxxie sees Blitz flipping his contacts through his rotary address card file, and is too preoccupied to notice Moxxie.

Peeved, Blitz says, "Not now, Mox."

"Sir," Moxxie says, and jabs his thumb behind him, "There's a client that needs us to investigate his death," And places his hands together, "And we don't usually-"

Blitz interrupts, annoyed, "No tiiiime!"

"But sir, we really need the cash flow, and I was thinking maybe-" Moxxie says.

But Blitz is now completely irritated with Moxxie and stops flipping his rotary address, "What part of "NO. FUCKING. TIIIIIIIME." Do you not understand?" and starts flipping his address files again, "Just handle it yourself."

Moxie becomes surprised and confused by this, "You want me to lead?" and gestures back to Blitz, "On a hit?"

Now Blitz grows frustrated and stops what he's doing as he says, "I swear on all that is evil, Mox! If you aren't out of my office in negative." And slams both hands on the desk, "3 seconds-"

"Yooou GOT IT SIR!" Moxxie says, ecstatic and salutes.

Not wanting to anger him further, he closes the door. Soon, his face is full of sunshine and excitement. He was so excited about this job that his small little iris in his yellow eyeballs expanded out with stars gleaming bright shine.

He then returns to the others and says to the client, "We'll take the case!" as he jabs a thumb to himself, "And I'll be handling this investigation, personally."

Millie looks concern towards her husband as Amara and Roy look confused

"Honey, are you sure?" Millie asks and gestures to the door, "What about Blitz?"

"Honey, honey please," Moxxie says and postures himself, "Blitz put me in charge this time."

"He did?!" Amara, Roy, and Millie reply in disbelief.

Moxxie hears the disbelief coming from his wife and narrows his eyes as he looks back to her skeptically.

Millie realizes her mistake and then corrects her attitude, "Oh! I mean, He... HE DID!"

"Right! And this is going to be the cleanest," Moxie says, swifting his hand, "Most well," He then lowers his fist, "Prepped, most surgical hit we've ever had! Don't worry sir!" points at the demon client, "We'll find your killer, and give him what's coming to him."

And he corrects himself with each pause, "And/or her… Or they…" pointing back at the client.

In the office, Blitz is continuing his fruitless search for his sister. He checks Barbie's profile on her social media account, but she doesn't seem to make any effort to update or improve her profile.

At the same time, Blitz is on a call and is angry, "Why the fuck wouldn't she tell you where she was going? I mean, did you even ask-"

But soon, hears his phone vibrating, meaning he has another call, "Wait hold on, I'm getting another call…" He soon clicks on the call and picks it up, "Hellooooooo?" and hears the call, "...Oh Good, did you find-... Really, where?... Thanks, and I promise if we ever get a contract on your children, we'll make it quick and painless-BYEEEEEEEE!" and end the call.

Blitz then puts his phone away and rushes out of his office and out of the lounge, passing Moxxie, Millie, Amara, and Roy with an investigation board on the wall that has red strings all over the place that even extends out of the board. Moxie is way really over his head in the investigation.

Moxxie turns to her husband, "Mox... Are you sure this isn't a little... much?"

"It's my first lead, Mills. It has to be... perfect," Moxxie says.

"But you all are hitmen, not investigators," Roy replies, tilting his head.

"True, but since we have no idea who the killer is, not even the client knows. So it's best to go over to the camp itself and investigate to find the killer," Amara says.

"Exactly Amara. We need to do this right or we'll end up killing the wrong person," Moxxie says. He then turns back to the investigation board, "Now, in front of you, you'll find a comprehensive guide to your cover personas," and slams his hand on the board, "Memorize it. We've got a lot of work to do."

"Moment later, in the living world. I.M.P's location is at a summer camp called, 'Camp Ivannakummore, children laugh and play around. Across the way, three preteen girls chat on a picnic bench.

In the bushes nearby, Moxxie, Millie, Amara, and Roy are hiding in the bushes.

Moxxie is dressed as a girl. He is wearing a black tube top, purple skinny jeans and hot pink color boots. He is also wearing makeup and fake nails. He also has his hair covering his horns to look like pigtails.

Millie is disguised as a boy. Wearing a black t-shirt with an orange-yellow oval on the chest, along with a zigzag stripe, gray pants, and black shorts, along with a yellow beanie hat.

Amara is in her human disguise, but also makes herself dressed like a male as well. Amara is wearing glasses, a burgundy long sleeve red shirt, with a white collar, dark blue pants, and red and white shoes.

Moxie then fixes his tube top as he says, "Okay everyone, one last time for safety."

Then talks in a girly voice, "I'm Moxxine, the hottest, most popular girl at my school, and you are?"

"Your brother Millard, I like sports and fuckin bitches," Millie says as she thrusts her hips.

Amara adjusts her glasses and says, "And I'm your other brother, Amar. I'm highly intelligent for my age, reading books, and I too like to play some sports.

"Hm, you know these kids are a bit younger than I was expecting, maybe lose that last part, Millie" Moxxie says.

"Check!" Millie says in a mainly voice.

Amara turns her head and says, "Are you ready, Roy?"

"I'm not coming out," Roy denies.

"I know, it's uneasy, but I think you'll do great," Amara says.

"Nuh uh. I look really dumb," Roy says.

Then Moxxie says, "Don't worry Roy, it won't be too long. And these disguises are necessary. We'll be back home before we know it."

"Okay," Roy replies.

Soon, Roy walks out of the bushes and feels very embarrassed. Like Moxxie, Roy is dressed as a little girl. He too has his hair in pigtails to cover his horns, along with a brown sun hat with a black band on it. He is also wearing scarlet red sundress with black tights under it. He is also wearing little black shoes.

"You look cute," Millie says.

"Now, you remember your line, right?" Moxie asks.

"Um yeah. I'm Royanna. I'm the youngest. I like to draw pictures, play hide and seek, and love to play with my brothers and sister," Roy says, blushing.

"That was good, Royanna," Amara says.

"She's right. You did good," Moxxie says.

Roy blushes a bit, "Thanks.

"Alright, I think we are ready," Moxxie says.

The four then kneel down in the bushes.

Just then, Millie notices something and points at it, "Hey, Mox!"

The group looks at the cabin where they see an individual wearing a coat, and appears to be carrying a large sack over his back. And judging by the hat, he appears to be a counselor. He checks his surroundings to see if the coast is clear, and begins sneaking tip-toe towards the bushes.

As Millie says, "Check out that shady-lookin' fella over there. I think that's our guy."

But Moxxie says in a girly voice, "Ahem, Millie... I hardly think pointing out the first guy you see is the proper way to conduct a-"

However, Millie picks up a pair of binoculars and looks to see what the counselor is doing.

She says, "No, that's definitely him. That bag's full of money, and drugs, and what looks like a drill one would use to poke holes in a boat."

And shows the counselor dropping the bag revealing the cash and drugs, and holding a drill. Then the

"But- but that's all circumstantial at best!" Moxxie says, and continues to talk in a girly voice, "We need to methodically eliminate all suspects until we can be sure."

Millie looks annoyed at the suspect, who is obviously the killer. Amara takes out her binoculars to see the counselor going into the boat, and looks nervously to see if anyone spots him.

Millie says, "Now, he's lookin' around and headed into that locked boathouse we heard about." and lowers the binoculars down.

However, Amara keeps hers on and notices a single red-eye peeking into the crack of the door.

"That would be the perfect place to-" Millie adds, before noticing the upset look on Moxxie's face. She then reconsiders, "Fine, Mox. We'll do it your way."

"And I think it's a good idea we should," Amara says.

"Why you say that?" Roy asks.

"Well, even though that guy is obviously the one who killed the client, it's possible he might not be alone in this," Amara says.

"You think he has a partner?" Millie asks.

"Well, I saw another eye peeking from the boathouse, and it's not that counselor either," Amara says.

"So it's more important we stick around for this," Moxxie says.

The girls put their binoculars away in Millie's backpack.

Then Moxxie says, "With my and Amara sleuthing skills and your and Roy's killer eye, we should have this wrapped up in no time. Now,"

Then Moxxie steps forward and says in a girly voice, "We just have to find the kids with the most influence.

Moxxie scans the camp grounds until he spots three pre-teen girls at a table having a chat.

"Oh... target, acquired," Moxxie says, amusing his top before proceeds to head out to meet the girls.

Roy and the girls are about to join, when a volleyball rolls over to Millie. Millie notices and approaches the ball

She then hears someone call out, "Hey!"

Millie looks over to see kids playing volleyball.

A girl camper calls out, "Hey!"

Amara turns to Millie, "Wanna play some volleyball."

"Sure," Millie says.

And with that, Roy and the girls walk off to join the kids in the game.

Meanwhile, at the picnic table, the three teens are sitting and having. Well one of them is chewing gum and watching something on her phone, while another girl is listening to her friend's story.

The girl with long orange hair says, "So, he snorted a whole line of ground-up mints, and tried to convince us he was high. Can you even believe him?"

Just then, Moxxie approaches them laughing obnoxiously continuing with his facade, "Ahahahaha! Oh, that Derek! What a riot! Riight?"

The girls turn to him and look disgusted.

"Um, who the fuck are you?" The girl with blonde hair asks.

"I'm Moxxine, I'm the prettiest girl at my school, and all the boys want me. My favorite coloooooor is hot pink. Because normal pink is sooo basic. I like horses, puppies, fast cars, jewelry, and I got my first period last year, and it was sooo heavy!" Moxxie says, and walks towards the picnic table, "I guess I'm just more mature than your typical preteen." and sits down next to the girls. "So, you wanna be frieeends?"

The girls stare at him with confused expressions. The orange-haired girl looks at Moxxie from head to toe, and notices Moxxie's appearance.

She points out, "The fuck is wrong with your legs?"

Moxxie is taken back and says, "Wha- Um Oh! um-uh...I was in an accident?"

"The same accident that fucked up your skin? You look like you spent three years in a tanning bed," The girl with brown hair and purple bow says.

"It's uhhhhh...natural?" Moxxie reluctantly answers.

The girl with orange hair laughs, "Ahah! Yeah, you wish. That botch job looks like it costs five bucks in an alley behind Walmart."

The girl with brown hair and purple ribbon stands up, "Get lost, you fucking freak!"

Moxxie stands up, obviously hurt and turns to the teens, "But I-eeeh..."

However, the girls all stand up and point in the direction for him to leave.

Just then, they look over at the volleyball court, and they notice Amara and Millie playing with the other kids. However, the girls mainly have their eyes on Millie. In the girl's visions, they see the disguised Millie as a new hot boy on the block with sweat dripping down from her face and her hair swaying behind a bright color background with stars sparkling around her.

"Oh, my god!" The girl with the purple ribbon asks. "WHO is THAT?!"

"Look how beautifully tan he is, "The girl with red hair adds.

"WHAAAAT?!" Moxxie exclaims.

Especially since in their eyes, Millie looks like a hot guy, and praising her and her skill color.

At the vollyball court, Millie comes in close around as she shouts in a boyish voice, "I GOT IT!"

Amara passes the ball to Millie.

Millie then leaps up high in the air with the sun shining down on her. With such joy in her eyes, Millie spikes the ball so hard that a boom echoes in the air, before it rockets right into one of the camper's faces. He was smacked in the face with a volleyball so hard that his skull was heard being crunched and broken, and his tooth was knocked out before he was slammed into the ground. The impact was so strong that dirt and dust spread to the volleyball field right when Moxxie and the mean girls came down to see what had happened. After the dust settled down, the camper who was hit seemed to be on the ground, dead or unconscious with a massive crater underneath him..

All the campers were totally shocked and even the Lifeguard Dude was completely taken back. He removes his sunglasses to see that the camper was on the ground and rushes over to check on him. The camper was unresponsive, and Millie looked nervous that she went too far. Amara and Roy are concerned to see that Millie has overdone it

The lifeguard looks to Millie and says, "That was…" and pauses for a second before resuming with tears flowing from his eyes with pride, "The best spike I've ever seen…"

And with that, all the campers cheer for Millie and lift her up on their shoulders. As the campers take Millie away, the camper who was hit in the face by Millie is revealed to be alive and reaches out to the Lifeguard Dude for help while he simply ignores him and wipes the tear away as he stands back up.

The camper begs, "I need medical attention."

The Lifeguard Dude turns down to the kid with a scowl, "First Aid is for WINNERS!"

While the campers take Millie away, the mean girls were looking at Millie with admiration in their eyes by Millie's incredible athletic skills.

"Oh, my god! He is so fucking HOT!" The girl with red hair says as she waves her hand to cool herself.

Moxxie then tries to impress them again, "Oh! Ya know, he's my brother."

However, his attempt earns him some glares from the girl.

Even the girl with the purple ribbon angrily says, "FUCK OFF, TROLL!"

Then she and her friends take their leave as Moxxie feels depressed that he did not impress them to get on their good side.

Meanwhile, in Hell, Blitz has his only mission. He enters what seems to be a pharmaceutical store. The pharmacist was looking at his phone, completely oblivious to Blitzo approaching his desk. The pharmacist notices Blitzo as he stops by the counter

Blitz holds out his phone which shows a picture of Barbie as he asks, "Hi, I'm lookin for one of your employees, her name is Barbie. Does she work here?"

"Wait, what? Who are you?" the pharmacist questions.

Blitz gets pissed that he grabs the pharmacist by the collar, pulls him over the desk, and slams him hard against the wall. He growls out of frustration and slams him again to show that he doesn't have time for any excuses.

Blitz angrily says, "Someone who's gonna get reeeal creative if you don't tell him what he wants!" And then uses his tail to slap the pharmacist repeatedly as he interrogates, "Where is she fucknut? I know you know! It only gets worse from here, asshole!" and slaps using his tail harder.

Finally, the pharmacist admits, "Okay! Okay! She's out on a pickup!"

Blitz then brings the pharmacist close to his face as his eyes narrow in anger, "Where?"

Back at the summer camp in the living is running across the camp physical course. She appears to be having fun as she leaps over a large wall, and after landing down, she starts to tic-tac herself across the course. Once she reaches the end, Millie hops up and grabs the pull-up bar before she starts spinning. She was spinning so fast that Millie's wheel spin started to go in flames before Millie rockets herself in the air like a ball. Millie, now a flaming fireball, meteors down and impacts the unconscious camper she hit with a volleyball so hard that she buried him six feet under with a crater of his shape. The campers and counselors applauded Millie for such a spectacular performance. One of the campers had his phone out live streaming the whole thing.

Millie emerges head-first with eyes sparkling, her iris swelled in her pupils with stars gleaming bright shine. She was overjoyed with her increasing popularity. Soon, Moxxie, Amara, and Roy approach them.

"Mox! Kids! Did you see? I broke the record on the course!" Millie happily says, overjoyed.

"Mhmm. I saw," Moxxie answers, seems to be a bit insecure.

"We sure did," Roy happily says.

"You were amazing out there," Amara says.

"Thanks," Millie says.

She becomes so absorbed by her popularity that her eyes grow big and bright, "Can you believe this? Everyone LOVES me, they're cheering," and takes out her phone, "They even posted videos of me online. LOOK!"

She shows it to the others to see the social media story of her performance at the course Hearts keep liking her story as it increased her popularity. Moxxie is however aghast at how Millie was the only one who gets the likes while he only gets the scowl. Millie then starts singing a song.

Millie:

Every day!

As I walk around camp!

All of these girls!

Follow me around!

I don't know why

Or what could it be?

A random camp counselor comes up to Millie and then offers her some selfie with a crazed look in her eyes that had veins being seen, which creeps Millie out.

Random camp counselor:

Hey, Millerd! HAH! Will you take a selfie with me?!

Millie:

Ah wa oh! I'm regular Joe.

Ah wa oh! I want the world to know.

Ah wa oh! I'm simple and plain.

Why do all these girls

Keep screaming my name?

Campers:

Millerd! Millerd! Millerd! Millerd, I love you!

Millie:

I'm so ordinary.

Just a common dude.

But, they're all up in my DMs

They keep sending me nudes.

I'm nothing special.

I'll tell you it's true.

The same creepy camp counselor stalker comes up on stage with a cake in her hand to Millie.

Random camp counselor:

But, Millerd! Over here! I baked a cake for you!

Millie:

Ah wa oh! I'm regular Joe.

Ah wa oh! I want the world to know.

Ah wa oh! I'm simple and plain.

I wish all these girls.

Would stop screaming my name.

The fan girls continue to scream out for Millie. She takes the time to take in the joy and happiness of being recognized by her peers.

Meanwhile, Moxxie is now upset, not only has Millie been taking the glory, but they haven't solved the case of their killer despite the obvious reason to go after the one they assumed to spot earlier. Amara and Roy do feel bad for Moxxie because things aren't going as planned.

Millie comes behind the cabins with a bouquet, "Ooh, Moxxie! That was so fun! No wonder you sing all the time!"

"Not exactly low profile…" Moxxie says, displeased.

"I know... but, it's kinda nice having people cheer for me for once ya know? Instead of SCREAMING" Millie says and rips the bouquet in half, "in PAIN and HORROR!"

"Don't forget what we're here to do, Millie," Moxxie says, approaching Millie.

"I haven't. I'm just waitin' until you're ready…" Millie says.

She then questions, "Have you been able to eliminate any suspects?"

"No, of course not," Moxxie says, "I can't get anything from anyone because they're too busy swooning over you."

"True, but I was actually able to get something," Amara says.

"Really?" Millie asks.

"It's not too much to go by, but a few people say that they've seen someone walking around the camp,but not sure if they're a camper or a counselor," Amara says.

"Whoever it is, must be working with that counselor," Roy says.

"Good work," Moxxie says.

"If you want we can go off the guy right now!" Millie says as she brings out her signature knives. Then begins to head towards the cabin, "I think he's alone in the cabin-"

But Moxxie says, "No! I have to do this right. And like Amara said, the accomplice could still be around."

Much to Millie's annoyance, she rolled her eyes and put the knives away to come up with a better solution.

She then says, "I'll tell you what…" and comes over and caresses her husband's cheek "Why don't you try winning them over with something you're good at like I did? How about your music?" Then her eyes sparkled like stars, "I can even help you since they already love me."

Moxxie's eyes sparkle as well, "Yeah... YEAH!" and happily says in a girly voice, "That just might work."

Later that night, Moxxie, Millie, Amara, and Roy, along with several campers are sitting in a circle around the campfire.

Millie calls out, "Ya'll wanna hear a song?!"

"Yeeeah!" The campers cheer.

Millie strums the banjo and says, "Alright! I know you all like me, but Moxxine is the real deal y'all. Let him-heeeeer tell ya all about it! Mox!"

"Thank you," Moxxie says.

Moxxie starts singing. However…

Moxxie:

Oh, everybody look at me!

I'm the greatest

It's plain to see

That all you losers

Wish that you could

Beeeee liiike ME!

But, ya can't

Cause I'm a work of art

Yeah, I am hot shit

So pretty and smart

Oh, everybody take a look at me!

Look at me, me, me, Moxxine!

Me, me, me, Moxxine!

Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me Me, me, me, me

And yet, Moxxie finds out that everyone is drawn to Millie's banjo playing, and when she finishes playing, the crowd cheers as Moxxie runs off in tears. Amara and Roy notice this.

"Poor Moxxie," Roy says sadly.

"Yeah, but that song was bad, like really bad," Amara replies.

Later, Millie approaches an outhouse where Moxxie is crying uncontrollably.

Millie asks in concern, "Moxxie? You okay?"

"Go away!" Moxxie cries out.

"Moxxie, what's goin' on?" Millie asks.

"Nothing! It's... It's just my time of the month!" Moxxie says, wiping the tears from his face.

"Honey... no," Millie says.

"I just wanna go home," Moxxie says.

Millie reassures her husband, "Hey, big guy. I know you can do this. You're the best assassin-slash-musician-slash-preteen girl I know."

Moxxie peeks out of the outhouse, "A-and investigator?"

"And investigator," Millie adds.

She then says, "Look, I know it's been tough. Just keep playing to your strengths, you have all week to get it right."

Moxxie exits the outhouse and says in tears, "Okay... thank you."