A/N- Welcome back! I know, right? It's weird seeing each other again after only a week. I honestly don't have much to add this time. One might go so far as to ask why I even bothered typing an "author's note" section to this chapter... And yet I continue to type... like I just can't help myself... from rambling on... and on... and on... Just... screaming out into the void... Is anyone still reading this? Or did you just skip ahead to the story? No one would blame you. Least of all me.
Okay, no more writing intros at 4 am. Anyway, enjoy!
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"Are you ready?"
The voice tore Ilia out of her staring contest with the shattered moon. She turned her head to the winged faunus standing next to her. Yuma stared back, his eyes as dark and lifeless as the night surrounding them. Behind him, Trifa casually picked at a few stray strands of webbing on her wrist. The three faunus stood perched on a rooftop, overlooking the darkened streets of Kuo Kuana below.
Yuma continued to stare wordlessly at Ilia, still waiting for a reply. The spotted girl placed her horned mask over her face, giving only a curt nod in response to his question.
With a barely audible "hmm," the goateed bat faunus pulled out his own mask. Unlike Ilia's, Yuma's disguise covered the bottom half of his face as opposed to the top. The smooth, ceramic piece slid into place over his mouth and nose, leaving just his cold, dull grey eyes visible. Etched into the masks surface was a grisly looking, red colored maw, full of teeth, with elongated fangs stretching up to the top and bottom of the face covering.
Trifa soon followed suit, her mask covering her eyes like Ilia's, with the usual Grimm markings. There were eight distinct crimson eyes painted on it, though only two were actually used to see through. The bottom part had two long pieces on each side that went down to her cheeks, more jagged and curved than the traditional White Fang members masks, looking like a pair of intimidating, insect-like mandibles.
'White Fang members don't wear masks on Menagerie.' That was the preconceived notion for the faunus that lived here, and it was that very misconception that would help provide the trio with further anonymity while they completed their dirty business tonight. The false assumption of the people would give the group plausible deniability should they be seen (unlikely) or caught (even more unlikely) because who would be able to prove that they weren't just a group of random ne'er-do-wells, causing trouble and trying to besmirch the reputation of a poor, misunderstood, faunus civil rights group?
Ilia looked at her "partners" for this evening with disdain. She still didn't like this. Aside from the obvious reasons- namely that the chameleon girl thought Yuma and Trifa were a couple of unapologetic psychopaths- the spotted girl still just hated the idea of being a part of a team again. After all, the last time she'd worked with other faunus was with-
No, a dark voice in her head spat bitterly, making the chameleon girl wince slightly at its tone, don't even think their names. They aren't worth it.
While the spotted faunus was compelled to agree, she couldn't help but feel a flicker of emotion in her betrayed heart, but it was quickly quelled, stuffed deep down inside with the rest of her unwanted feelings. It was time to focus anyway, there was a job to be done tonight.
With Ilia's baggage more or less stored away, and her mask in place, it was time to get to work. The trio leapt off the roof, landing with barely a sound just outside the business they'd been stalking.
It was an easy job, a classic smash and scare, not the first one the chameleon girl had taken part in since she began working exclusively under Corsac and Fennec, and based on the frequency they requested it, probably not the last. Every once in a while one of the local businessmen got a little too ambitious for their own good and needed to be reminded of their place here on Menagerie. Tonight that lesson needed to be taught to the Castor family.
There had been a part of Ilia that flinched a little when she'd been given that name. She'd known the Castor's once, they were close with the chieftain, and that made things risky. The chameleon faunus had been back on the island for nearly six months now without her fam-
No.
-without her former associates having noticed, and she'd like to keep it that way.
It wasn't just that though, spotted girl felt herself hesitating for other, more regretfully sentimental reasons. The Castor's and her... they had... history.
She could remember more than once the family of beaver faunus being good to her, she could even recall a few times she'd even played with their son as a child, while the Belladonna's were busy hammering out contracts with the family of carpenters. Ilia couldn't quite remember the boys face, or even his first name, but he'd been... nice to her, nicer than some others of her kind at that age, if she was honest.
However, just as quickly as the remorse and doubt set in, that part of Ilia was again pushed back down under the waves of anger and loyalty to the Albain's that clouded the young faunus' mind. This was a job, her job, the same as any other, but more importantly, it was another chance for her to try and get back into the organizations good graces.
Getting expelled from the Vale branch of the Fang had seemingly irreparably damaged the spotted girls reputation in the group. Even all this time later, Ilia's loyalty was still often brought into question. So she eagerly looked for any opportunity to prove herself useful, to please. After all, she had nothing else left besides the White Fang now, and couldn't afford to lose another family. If that meant the young faunus had to do something she didn't like... to people she used to be close to... then so be it. There was no other choice. Not to her.
Still though, in spite of the brave, uncaring face she kept up in the presence of her superiors, the chameleon girl couldn't help but feel relieved to hear that the intelligence the Fang had gathered in preparation for this mission suggested that the Castor's son was away. He'd apparently been shipped off to some business school on the mainland, no doubt in preparation to take over the family run company himself someday. At least he wouldn't have to be a part of what was about to take place tonight.
In the blink of an eye, Trifa had the lock on the front door picked, the complex, and probably expensive, mechanism was no match for the spider faunus' quick fingers. The entryway creaked quietly as it opened, just enough for the pale, blue haired woman to slip in, followed by Yuma, who folded his large wings tightly against his back to squeeze through the small gap. The pair slipped in like a couple of ghosts, barely even making a sound. Ilia, on the other hand, waited outside, she scanned up and down the empty street through the slits in her mask for any signs of witnesses.
Lookout; that was the job the spotted girl had been assigned tonight. Nobody could know that the White Fang operated in this... capacity on Menagerie. The only reason the other faunus on the island tolerated the groups presence after all the bad press they'd been receiving lately was because the problems the "splinter group" was causing were far away from here, and that made them easy- and convenient- to ignore. The ignorant and lazy people of Menagerie had no idea the radicalized White Fang's new and extreme methods had made it to the faunus paradise a long, long time ago. That was how Corsac and Fennec liked it, so it was Ilia's job to make sure it stayed that way for another day. Yuma and Trifa's job, on the other hand-
There was the sound of a brief struggle inside the business, probably something being knocked over, or a piece of furniture rocking back and forth, but after a few seconds the noise stopped. Ilia's sharp eyes scanned the street again, making sure no one had been alerted by the sound. Again though, there was no sign of anyone.
A few moments later, Yuma returned. The bat faunus gave Ilia a typically cold look, before gesturing with his head for her to join him inside. The chameleon girl followed without a word, into the building, through the small waiting area for customers, and into a large back room.
It was a little cluttered, though much of that may have been caused by the earlier struggle. There were a few desks with computers and filling cabinets, along with one other exit, which led into the living area, a fact Ilia knew from her many visits here as a child. The building was both an office and a home to the people who lived here, a choice that many on the overcrowded island often made, as a way of making use of whatever space they had to the fullest.
There, in that back room that separated home and office, bathed in the slits of moonlight shining onto the floor through a pair of blinds on a nearby window, were Mr and Mrs Castor.
The faunus couple didn't look much different from how Ilia remembered them, maybe a few more gray hairs on each of them, but other than that, it was like the last several years had never happened, and the spotted girl found herself struck with a sudden sense of nostalgia seeing them again.
However, the feeling was completely offset by the Castors current situation. Both faunus were kneeling on the floor, thick black cloths blindfolding both of them. Assuming Ilia's partners in crime had done their job, neither of the scared looking business owners had seen their faces. Trifa's webs were tightly wrapped around their torsos, trapping the carpenters arms at their sides, as well as around their legs, ensuring they were going nowhere. In the corner of the room, the spider faunus herself was currently casually leaning against the wall, arms crossed, with a disturbingly proud look on her face as she watched the pair of beaver faunus struggle desperately.
The Castor's heads shot up at the sound of Ilia and Yuma entering the room. There was another quickly repressed spike in emotion within the chameleon faunus at seeing the couple in such a state. Memories surfaced of their kind looking faces whenever Ghira would bring Ilia along to one of his meetings to discuss housing for the islands always growing population, as well as of their son, how he would play with the spotted girl, never seeming to care about how human she looked, unlike all the others did. He just seemed happy to have someone his own age to spend time with. That felt like another lifetime to the chameleon girl.
Ilia swallowed hard, casting aside the shameful pity beginning to sprout in her heart. She reminded herself that this wasn't personal, it was just business. The White Fang needed building supplies, and the Castor's were being difficult about the costs of them. They seemed to believe they could get away with jacking up their prices just because they were the most profitable carpenters on the island. And so, tonight Ilia and her cohorts were here to... negotiate these prices.
If all this went smoothly, then the pair of faunus wouldn't have to be hurt, that was how the chameleon girl rationalized things internally. Ideally they wouldn't even be aware Ilia's was ever here. All they had to do was agree to the terms the Albain's had sent the three of them to deliver, and then Yuma, Trifa, and herself would be gone. They would become nothing but a bad memory. It was that simple. Besides, the fact that things had escalated to intimidation was... no one's fault but their own.
With that weak bit of justification playing on repeat in her head, Ilia settled in between the pair of doors into the room, keeping an eye on both entrances, continuing her job as a lookout. Chances were low they'd be interrupted at this point, but as the Albain's were always quick to remind her; 'such vigilance is necessary if the White Fang wants to maintain its anonymity among the citizens of Menagerie.' The pair of fox faunus were like a broken record in that way, or maybe more like a pair of broken records, synced up in such a way as to annoyingly finish each others sentences? Whatever. Wordplay was never Ilia's specialty.
Unfortunately, it turned out the position the spotted girl had chosen would leave her with a perfect view of the action unfolding. She never liked this part of her job, but took whatever bit of comfort she could in the fact that it wouldn't be her doing the "convincing" this evening. No, she had enough nightmare fuel of her own the deal with. All she had to do tonight was watch the doors, and leave the real work to the kind of psychopath that actually enjoyed it.
As if on cue, Yuma walked over to the restrained couple, both beaver faunus' breathing picking up as they heard him getting closer, and even more so beyond that at the sound of his dagger being pulled from its sheath. The metallic "shing" made them flinch slightly, and the pair seemed to subconsciously scoot closer together, perhaps trying to seek comfort in one another.
"Mr and Mrs Castor..." the bat winged man said in a voice dripping with a sickening saccharine that sent a chill down even Ilia's spine, "... you may be wondering what prompted this... unscheduled visit tonight."
Both beaver faunus were too petrified to even reply, as Yuma squatted down in front of them, idly twirling his dagger in his hand, to the amusement of no one but himself.
"We represent the interests of a certain collection of faunus on this island that have taken umbrage with your recent decisions in regards to the prices you've chosen to charge for your goods and services."
Yuma laid his blade flat on Mr Castors shoulder, making the poor man's entire body jump slightly. Then the bat faunus began to slowly drag the weapon towards the man's neck, the tip of the dagger passing over the restrained man's clavicle, and on to the center of his throat, where Yuma stopped it. He didn't apply any pressure once it was there, he just held it in place, his threat obvious.
"My associate is leaving behind a file for you to look over," Yuma continued, signaling Trifa's with a nod of his head. The spider faunus smirked, then pulled out a plain looking folder and set it on the desk next to her. "Inside you'll find the new rates that you'll be charging the fine people of Kuo Kuana," the bat faunus continued calmly, his dagger still centimeters from ending the life of the man before him. "I do hope you find these new terms acceptable, if not, I'm afraid our next visit will be far less... cordial."
There was an excitement, a giddiness in Yuma's voice, accompanied by a light in his usually dull, dead looking eyes, one that Ilia noticed only seemed to appear when the bat faunus was causing other people pain. She'd noticed the same look in Trifa more than once as well. Ilia found both of their behaviors extremely unsettling in general, but watching the pair take such glee in hurting others had worrisome thoughts sprout in the back of her brain.
Was that just what happened when you were exposed to this type of work for long enough? Yuma and Trifa had been doing stuff like this for a while, they didn't just seem numb to this type of thing- like Ilia was trying so hard to be- they clearly enjoyed it. Could a persons soul really just become so twisted and accustomed to violence that they begin to become ambivalent to it? To crave it, even? The chameleon girl couldn't help but wonder, if she stayed on this path, how long would it be before she was the same way?
No. That would never happen, she wasn't like them. She wasn't a monster. She could never become so cruel, so dead inside, as to take joy in something like causing pain like this.
However, that line of thinking led Ilia to a more disturbing one, as she wondered if Yuma and Trifa had thought the same thing about themselves at some point.
Mr Castor was a blubbering mess by now. The beaver faunus nodded vigorously while stammering in agreement.
"Excellent," Yuma replied, pulling his knife away, and with a spinning flourish, returned it to its sheath. He placed both his hands on the other man's shaking shoulders. "It has been a pleasure doing business with you."
Beneath her mask, Ilia's eyes were drawn to a small spot of blood that remained on Mr Castor's throat when Yuma removed his dagger. The wound was nowhere near enough to be life threatening, or even leave a scar, but it was just enough to etch the message of fear into the man's heart. The crimson drop trickled downward, staining the collar of the beaver faunus' shirt, and the observing chameleon girl felt those familiar doubts start to creep into her mind.
These people weren't fighters, they didn't even have any aura to defend themselves. Surely this kind of intimidation wasn't really necessary, was it? Did Yuma really have to go so far? Should Ilia have tried to stop him?
It was a little too late for such thoughts though. The deed was done, but regardless, the chameleon faunus couldn't keep herself from getting lost in questioning the morality of her comrades, her organization, and even herself.
Unfortunately, it was in that one moment of distraction that the night got infinitely more complicated.
The spotted girl took her eyes off the door for one second, and because of that, didn't notice the shadowy figure until it had darted into the room, right towards Yuma, some kind of weapon raised above their head.
Trifa actually saw it first, since she was on the other side of the room, facing the entryway. Time seemed to slow down as spider faunus reached for her own dagger at her hip. Yuma had only just noticed his partners reaction to something behind him, and was beginning to turn as the figure was already only a few steps away. Neither one of them were fast enough to stop the attack though.
But Ilia on the other hand...
Years of meticulously honed instincts took hold the second the ponytailed faunus saw the unknown figure began its sprint into the room. By the time they'd taken one step towards Yuma, her hand was already on Lightning Lash's hilt. By the time they'd taken another, the weapon was already deployed and mid swing, Ilia performing an upward slash from where the whip-blade was clipped to her side for the fastest possible attack in her current position. Their foot didn't even have the chance to hit the ground a third time, before the weapon, crackling with electricity, struck its target and sent them to the ground with agonized yell.
And just like that, it was over. Yuma stood as he turned to his would be attacker as they convulsed slightly on the floor from Ilia's attack. Another half a second later, and that would have been him. The bat faunus gave Ilia a side eyed glance that could probably be interpreted as begrudging gratitude. Trifa tucked her weapon back in place gave the chameleon girl a shrug and a look that bordered on impressed. But by far, the person with the biggest reaction to the sequence of events, was Mrs Castor.
The blindfolded woman let out a loud shriek as she heard Ilia's attack connecting. Then she'd heard the sound of the body hitting the floor, and through panicked breaths she called out;
"A-Alder?!... Oh my gods! Alder!!" the faunus woman began struggling harder in her silken bonds., shaking her head from side to side to try and dislodge the blindfold.
When she said the name, Ilia felt her whole body in go cold.
Alder? Alder was the name of their son, the son who was supposed to be away at school right now.
Except he wasn't.
Alder Castor was not halfway around the world at business school. No, the Castors son was currently on the floor before Ilia, the long two-by-four he'd chosen as a makeshift weapon lying next to him, with a massive, bloody slash going across his body.
Ilia had caught Alder on the side as he was running to defend his parents. The wound cut across the upper left side of his chest, then tore through his shoulder.
Lightning Lash slipped from Ilia's grip to the floor. The chameleon girl didn't even hear her weapon hit the ground. She stared in horror at the scene she'd just caused, the blood beginning to pool up and soak into the carpet beneath Alder's still body. Mrs Castor's desperate yelling faded into the background as the mortified chameleon girl stared at the young man's crumpled form.
Was... was he...?
No. No, he was still breathing. It was ragged, and barely noticeable, but there was a drop of relief in a sea of panic as Ilia realized she hadn't crossed that line yet. However, she was still responsible for this. It was an accident, but that barely seemed to matter at this point.
The ponytailed girls mind was firing off in a million different directions at once. What was Ilia supposed to do now? Should she help? She should, of course she should, but the wound was so bad, what if she ended up making things worse? Should she call an ambulance? And tell them what exactly? That she'd been committing a breaking and entering, and chosen to top it all off an assault? That would only end one way. The panic and doubts ran circles in Ilia's head as she floundered on what to do next.
"I-Ilia?..."
The sound of her name made the frenzy coursing through the spotted faunus' turn to ice. It wasn't Yuma or Trifa's voice that had said her name. The chameleon girls head reluctantly turned to see Mrs Castor looking at her. Looking right at her. The woman's increased struggle had caused her blindfold to finally loosen, allowing one of the woman's hazel, tear soaked, eyes to slip free, and it was now pointed directly at the chameleon girl, hurt and confusion etched into her face.
Of course, no mere mask was going to hide Ilia's identity from someone who knew her, who had known her for years, seen her grow up. The long, curled ponytail alone was enough to give her away to someone like that. But any remaining amount of disguise the Grimm-like face covering might've provided was completely obliterated when Ilia's skin changed to a bright yellow, her spots going blue, a perfect indication of the fear and regret surging in the young faunus in that moment. There was nothing she could say, nothing she could do. Ilia was trapped under the gaze of that one eye.
Just like that, the old Ilia resurfaced again, gasping for air as she finally broke the surface of that sea of despair the young faunus had been wading in these past months. The facade of the unshakable warrior for revolution and justice crumbled away, revealing the scared girl that laid beneath, one that only ever wanted to help her people because that was all she'd ever been good at.
Now, that same young girl was now staring down in horror at the violence brought about by her own hand. She felt herself go back to that day at Laurel Preparatory school. She felt the eyes of her teachers and fellow students on her as she stood there, her fists covered in the blood of those girls who'd dared to laugh in the face of her parents cruel demise, a few of their teeth gathered at her feet. She felt their heavy stares on her, appalled, accusing, and generally just wanting to know 'why?' That same look was being cast on her now by Mrs Castor.
She'd tried to justify what had happened that day to their judging eyes, she'd yelled out that it wasn't her fault, that it was an accident, she hadn't wanted to hurt anyone.
And yet, just like back then, all it took was one look at the scene displayed before Ilia to brush away any and all excuses.
Why was she like this? Why was it that whenever she was afraid, surprised, or emotional in general, she always lashed out. Maybe it was just in her nature. Maybe there was no reasoning behind it, no fighting it, it was just the way she was. Maybe, deep down in her core, she was just... violent.
"Ilia?... Why- mph!?"
Suddenly, a blast of webbing connected with both Mrs and Mr Castor's faces, covering their mouths. The force of the blast sent them both to the floor as well, their restrained bodies offering no protection from the fall.
"We need to go," Trifa said from the other end of the room, peering through the closed blinds of a nearby window. "I think that kid called the guard."
Wordlessly, Yuma bolted out of the room, the spider faunus following suit, neither even sparing a passing glance at Ilia as she remained frozen in place. After all, what did they care if she got caught? She'd been branded a traitor by their high leader, a loose end to be snipped, should the situation require it.
The petrified chameleon girl stared silently through the slits of her mask. She'd heard Trifa, saw both of her "teammates" retreat out of the room, she knew she had to get out of there, but her legs just wouldn't move. Her gaze was fixed onto that one exposed eye as it looked up at her from the floor, it's look having gone from confused and sad, to accusatory and angry.
The Castor's would never forget what happened to them tonight, or who was responsible. They knew their enemy now, and it wasn't the White Fang, the ones who'd sent Ilia in the first place, it was the girl standing before them now, one they'd once trusted and welcomed into their home, and come morning the entire island would know what she'd done. News would spread fast, and just like that, Menagerie would no longer be a safe place for Ilia.
The sound of many approaching footsteps from just outside finally spurred the spotted girl to action. She grabbed Lightning Lash off the floor and ran out of the room. As Ilia got to the exit, she could see the flashlights of Menagerie's guard illuminating the darkness outside. She shot out the door, fired her whip off towards some nearby scaffolding and pulled herself to the rooftops.
A few of the approaching guards yelled out at her as they saw her shadowy form retreating from the house they'd been called to. A couple of them even shot a few blind bullets in her general direction, but none even came close to hitting the quick footed Ilia.
As the chameleon girl raced across the tile covered roofs of Kuo Kuana, she panted and stumbled, her emotions running rampant in her mind. The wall she'd put up in order to be something she's not- something the White Fang wanted her to be- was broken, as tears flowed behind her monster-like mask.
Any remaining sense of home the island of Menagerie had for Ilia was officially gone, and she'd been the one to deliver the final blow to it.
The bland, dreary interior of Ilia's hotel room seemed even more depressing than usual as the first rays of sunrise peeked around her closed curtains. The chameleon girl stared blankly at the wall as she laid on her side in bed, her eyes veiny and bloodshot from another restless night. She hadn't even bothered to get under the covers when she returned to her room hours ago. The spotted faunus had just more or less walked in like a zombie, and then collapsed on the old, worn mattress, and laid there for hours, unmoving.
It had not been a good night for Ilia Amitola. Well, the first part was actually pretty great, exhilarating, and damn near perfect, if she was honest. However, all those good feelings only made things that much worse when the evening/morning went sour, when reality came crashing back into focus.
As soon as the words left Kali's mouth, as soon as Ilia was reminded that the militia was returning to Menagerie in the morning, it was like every wall the chameleon girl had torn down these past days went back up. The spotted girls true self, which had slowly begun to remerge after Gods know how long, was shoved back down to the depths, and the old Ilia retook control. Emotions were repressed, and before Carmella could say a word, Ilia wished her a good night and then she was gone.
She'd hated leaving like that, hated hearing the long eared girl so desperately calling out for her as Ilia used her semblance to escape from the situation, but it was a necessary pain, one that the spotted girl had to endure for the rabbit eared faunus' own good. She'd justified her own cowardice by telling herself that the more reason Carm had to hate Ilia, the better. It would just make it easier for her when they were separated in a few hours.
Yes, it was better this way, better that Ilia hadn't gone through with her plan for last night, better she hadn't revealed how she felt about the other faunus, better that they hadn't... well...
A memory of the two faunus pressed tightly together flashed in Ilia's mind. The feeling of Carmella's breath on her lips as the two of them came closer and closer...
The ponytailed teen closed her eyes, repressing any childish fantasies she might've had, and reminded herself- once again- that this was all for the best.
This way there would be no hard goodbyes, now the rabbit girl could just leave without any guilt. Carmella had made her so happy, even if it was just for just a little while, the least the spotted faunus could do in return was make sure things didn't end bitterly between them. Now the rabbit faunus could go back to her old life, her family, her friends, without the... burden of Ilia's feelings threatening to hold her back.
The chameleon girl gripped the sheets beneath her tightly as she swallowed back another lump of sadness creeping up her throat. She just had to hold them back a little bit longer, those feeling's of longing, just until Carmella was gone. Once the other faunus was safely on the boat home, then Ilia could let herself be miserable. All she had to do in the meantime was hide her feelings, which the chameleon girl just so happened to be an expert at. Sure it hurt, but for better or for worse, this was the way things had to be...
Even if all Ilia wanted to do right not was rush back over to the rabbit girls hotel, knock the door to her room off it's hinges, and beg Carmella to stay...
Brothers, it was hard, doing the right thing, the "practical" thing, but what other option was there? It clearly wasn't meant to be. Fate had dealt its hand, and decided the two of them would be separated. Carmella was heading back to Menagerie, and Ilia could not follow, at least not right now anyway, not with her reputation being what it was there. Honestly, with all the problems she'd caused, even as a child, the ponytailed faunus was surprised she'd hadn't been run out of Kuo Kuana a long time ago.
Having been the adopted daughter of the chieftain's family had probably helped in that regard. Ghira and Kali had a lot of power on the island, and got plenty of practice using it while talking down irate parents after one of Ilia's... outbursts. It wasn't that the chameleon faunus was a bad kid or anything, she just had... a bit of a chip on her shoulder, even back then. Regardless, with the Belladonna's staying in Mistral in order to get the New Brotherhood off is feet, that meant Ilia wouldn't rely on their protection back on the island.
She didn't even have the White Fang to keep her "safe" anymore, which they had ever since Ilia's less than illustrious return to Menagerie. After joining up with the cell working in secret there, she'd managed to make even more enemies among the people. Of course, Corsac and Fennec had been more than happy to provide their own brand of "protection" for their latest pawn, giving her a place to lay low when the heat from the authorities got particularly hot. However, after the... incident with the Castor family, the pair of fox brothers decided their loyal little lap dog made an excellent scapegoat as well.
Ilia lost count of the number of crimes the Albain's pinned on her, and she let them, of course, because it was for the "good of the faunus." In hindsight though? Probably not her best move. The whole island had it out for her at this point, and now, with the White Fang officially disbanded, the chameleon girl couldn't even count on the annoying fox brothers protection anymore. Even less so considering Fennec had been killed during the failed raid on the Belladonna's home.
So yeah, one could understand how going back to Menagerie right now wasn't the best idea for Ilia. Still though, the idea of getting to be with Carmella was almost tempting enough for the spotted faunus to throw caution to the wind and take the risk, but in her heart, she knew it wouldn't be worth it.
The people there hated Ilia, there was no way they'd just forgive her, no matter how many academies she saved. That meant there would be a target on her back, and if those people with grudges couldn't get to her, they'd go after people she cared about, and any signs of attachment to Carmella would put the rabbit faunus and her family at the top of that list.
The Lindt's had a life on Menagerie, friends, a business, and all of it could be ruined just be them being associated with Ilia. The chameleon faunus would be damned long before she allowed anything like that to happen.
So the ponytailed faunus would stay here, in Mistral. She'd already decided to take up Ghira and Kali's offer to join the New Brotherhood. It seemed like the best way for her to continue her redemption in the eyes of the faunus, not that she had much of choice. The chameleon girl still wasn't sure if she was going to become the leader the Belladonna's had asked her to be, but joining up seemed like the best next step for her at least.
... And Carmella? She'd get to go home, for now anyway, although it was clear to Ilia that the other girls ambitions had outgrown the faunus paradise a long time ago- much like herself, she supposed. Carm could go anywhere she wanted, be anything she wanted, and no matter what that ended up doing, she'd be great at it. Who knows? Maybe someday the two of them would cross paths again? Maybe then things could be different?...
'But then why couldn't they be that way now?' a desperate part of Ilia's brain couldn't help but ask.
It wasn't the first time that thought had crossed Ilia's mind these past few hours, and it traveled with a pretty convincing argument. If Carmella wanted to live up to her potential, see her hopes and dreams fulfilled, then wasn't staying in Mistral, following Ilia's example and joining up with this new iteration of the faunus civil rights group an excellent place to start? It was hard to argue otherwise, in the chameleon girls opinion anyway, but apparently Carmella didn't see things that way.
Why hadn't the rabbit faunus chosen to stay? It seemed to be the obviously right choice, but again, maybe that was just Ilia being biased. Had the thought really not even crossed Carmella's mind?
Well... if that was the case... Ilia could always just ask the other faunus to stay...
...
No. Ilia couldn't do that. Because Carmella would say yes. There wasn't a sliver of doubt in Ilia's mind that she would.
Just in case it wasn't blatantly obvious; of course Ilia wanted Carmella to stay, more than she'd wanted anything in a long, long time, but the idea of actually asking her friend to do something like that felt... well, "selfish" was the first word that came to mind for the chameleon girl. What other word would you use when you're asking someone to abandon their entire life for you?
And that suddenly bothers you? Why? It's not like it would be the first time you've been selfish with her...
Ah, yes, and how could she forget? Of course that little voice in Ilia's head was back as well. As if she wasn't going through enough already, now her subconscious seemed to want her to suffer even more.
Haven't you just been using Carmella this whole time anyway?
Ilia took the pillow she was resting on and placed it over her head, trying to block out the nagging voice.
Having her around, it made you feel so much better about yourself, didn't it?
A half groan, half growl escaped from under the pillow, as the chameleon girl pressed down on it harder, but like always, she was unable to escape that spiteful little critic in her head.
It wasn't true, there was no way it was. The two of them were friends now. Granted it was still a new friendship, but that didn't make it any less real to Ilia. They'd spent time together, laughed together, even cried together. She wasn't... using Carmella as a means to feel better about her own mistakes. There was just no way...
The way she looks at you, it makes you feel like what happened at Haven Academy wasn't just a fluke, made you feel like you could change, that you could do better.
Ilia's eyes screwed tight, her jaw clenched, as she tried in vain to find something, anything, to prove the voice wrong...
Whatever will you do now without your little moral compass tagging along? Following you like a cute, little, lost puppy?
... But there was nothing she could say or do. The evidence was piling up, and the conclusion was becoming harder and harder to ignore.
All this time, the chameleon girl had been so selfish with Carmella. She'd been using her as a means to ease her guilty conscience. That wasn't to say that Ilia didn't still care for the other girl, of course she did, but this... dependency on her that she'd built, it wasn't fair to Carm. She couldn't just keep holding onto her like a security blanket, something to lean on when things got tough. The rabbit faunus deserved better. She deserved better than Ilia.
It's fine though. She'll be better off anyway. You know you would have just screwed things up with her eventually anyway.
The voice was relentless, ever since the spotted faunus got back to her hotel room, and by this point, Ilia has stopped trying to fight it. Her mind was made up anyway, it had been since she'd first learnt Carmella and herself would be separated.
This is what was best for both of them... at least that's what Ilia had decided on her end. There was still a part of her that dared to hope that maybe the rabbit girl would decide to stay on her own.
Honestly that would solve almost all of Ilia's problems. That way she wouldn't have to feel like she'd forced the other faunus to stay. The chameleon girl just wished she knew what the other girl was thinking.
Of course, Ilia could find this out rather easily, thanks to Carmella's semblance having connected the two of them emotionally, but that wasn't really an option right now, seeing as how the chameleon girl had completely cut herself off from that connection.
It hadn't been easy for Ilia to figure out how to do, but once she'd learned how the other girls gift worked, the spotted faunus had managed to find a way to sort of... block the other girl from reading her emotions. Carmella's semblance required a two way connection, meaning if either person were to, let's say, start bottling up and hiding their own emotions- something Ilia was a master of at this point- then the link between the two of them became... fuzzy, like bad reception on a radio.
It wasn't a perfect solution though. Even now, Ilia could feel Carmella- or at least her essence, or soul, or whatever- trying to reestablish their connection. Like a cat rubbing against you, doing figure eights between your legs in order to get your attention, and all the chameleon girl wanted to do was pick up that cat and give it all the love and affection it deserved. It was incredibly hard to resist, but the spotted faunus' mind was made up. Whatever decision Carmella came to would be her own, free from the influence of Ilia's feelings for the other girl.
There it was again, that sudden surge of hope, shooting up from the chameleon girls core. That part of her still wanted so badly to believe that in the end Carmella would choose to stay, choose to keep honing her skills on the road... and that she'd choose Ilia, but...
Would you choose you?
The question sent that spark of delusion tailspinning back down to wherever it had come from.
Of course you wouldn't.
The beams of sunlight shining through the edges of the blinds of Ilia's hotel room slowly shifted as the hours past, until eventually one of them settled over the spotted girls dry, bloodshot eyes. The dreaded morning had finally arrived. The S.S. Pride had probably already pulled into Mistral's harbor, ready for its return trip to Menagerie. That meant it was time for Ilia to get up.
Another problem the chameleon girl had struggled with all night was whether or not she was going to even bother showing up to see Carmella off, and ultimately Ilia had decided she needed to be there. She knew it would be hard, but she couldn't let things end this way, with their last meeting ending with Ilia running off like a coward. Even though she thought Carmella hating her would make this whole thing easier, Ilia just couldn't bring herself to do something so heartless. She'd miss Carm, and she didn't want to give any indication otherwise. She'd cherish all the memories they'd made in their short time together, and even though it would hurt, the chameleon girl wanted to steal just one more before it was over.
Selfish.
With one final, quiet growl to herself, Ilia practically threw herself out of the bed and onto her feet before her body could even begin to protest. She stumbled as she stood, apparently even though she herself hadn't had the chance to fall asleep, her legs had, but the chameleon girl was standing, and that was enough for now.
The chameleon girl ran a hand over her face to try and wipe away the tiredness covering her features. She could practically feel the bags under her eyes, weighing her down, urging her to give up and collapse back onto the mattress behind her. It was a tempting idea, but Ilia had made her choice, and she'd chosen to get up and suffer at the docks, rather than here in bed.
The young faunus took a breath, walked over to the bathroom, splashed some cold water on her face, and did her best to straighten up her disheveled looking ponytail. The last thing she needed was everyone- but mainly Carmella- seeing what a mess she was right now.
Ilia slumped over the sink, before slowly raising her head to take in her reflection in the mirror above it. It wasn't a pretty sight, it would be obvious to anyone that looked at her that she hadn't gotten a good nights sleep, but it wasn't like she needed to impress anyone this morning. All she needed to do was get through the next couple of hours, show up, smile, wave, then watch as the first person she'd been able to establish a real connection with in forever sailed off to a place she might never be able to return to... No sweat...
The chameleon girl gripped the porcelain edges of the sink in front of her tightly as she closed her eyes and took another breath, trying to will away the anxiety that was creeping up in her chest at the idea of Carmella leaving.
It was usually easier than this for Ilia, hiding her emotions, she'd done it for years, walked on egg shells, day in, day out, like it was no big deal, the chameleon faunus would even say she'd gotten good at it, but this time was different. It wasn't just about her hiding what she felt to blend into the crowd, this time, Ilia was being outright deceitful about what she was feeling, not just to Carmella, but to herself as well.
You'll be fine... She'll be fine... Carmella... Carmella doesn't need you... and you... you don't...
With gritted teeth, the chameleon girl opened her eyes to a much different reflection. Swirls of red, green, blue, yellow, and more, all covered her skin, spots, and hair, a perfect match to the maelstrom of emotions brewing just under the surface. Ilia took in the display with a look of disdain, before closing her eyes again and taking a few deep breaths, cramming all those complex emotions, desperate for escape, back down into herself. Slowly, the faunus' grip on the sink relaxed, and she felt her sense of control return.
When Ilia opened her eyes again the colors were gone, and so was any trace of the turmoil from just seconds ago. Her expression betrayed nothing, with her lips pressed tightly together into a thin line, and her light blue eyes seeming cold and distant.
She was ready. It was time to face the music, to do the hard/right thing, then... figure out what came next for her, she supposed.
And with that, Ilia left her hotel room, the last bit of mental preparation she'd needed was complete. As she left, the spotted girl felt the familiar feeling she'd come to associate with Carmella's link trying to coax a connection out of her again.
Ilia paused with her hand on the door knob. She blinked several times, before casually brushing off the feeling, and then opened the door and stepped out of the room.
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A/N- Big step backwards for Ilia in this chapter, but that happens sometimes. Can't expect a person to change overnight, or over the course of a week in this case.
That has by far been my biggest gripe with this story. For some reason I thought it was a good idea to stick to the canon timeline and have the entire story take place over the two week gap between volumes five and six. I really should have just made this an AU. That way I could just say something like, "Oh, the Argus Unlimited broke down so everyone got stuck in Mistral for like, another month or so."
Why didn't I just do that? Hindsight really is 20/20. That's not to say I might not just retcon the whole thing regardless. I just want to give my girls more time together!
But that's a problem to figure out later. See you next week, kids! Reminder to leave a short review- or a long one, I do love me some positive reinforcement- and I'll see you all in a week or so. Bye.
