**I own no rights to the book this story was based upon all rights go to Stephanie Meyer**
Thus far, my new second life is not the one Edythe feared I would despise her for. If I am being honest I couldn't ask for a better way to spend my existence. If somehow I was 'saved' from the attack that led to my transformation… I dont think it would've been long before I would ask Edythe to change me. For wanting and willing to trade my utter average life to the extraordinary immortal life I would spend with her. I think some part of me deep down was thankful for the trackers attack. If it didn't happen I would've had to ask Edythe myself, not a conversation she would be willing to hear out at the time. Also, a request she would refuse to grant me.
But my deep down appreciation was opposed by my lack of proportion for my mortal life. If I would have time I would set things straight with Charlie, and my Mom. I was appreciative for the subtle distance over the few months after moving to forks. But again, that just made it more painful to Charlie. Much more painful. The embarrassment of begging Edythe, pleading on my hands and knees would be worth it if it meant I could prepare Charlie for what would be my disappearance from his life. Instead he would have to live with the guilt of taking the blame of my death and the last encounter he had with his only son who after a few short months of living with him died driving frantically to escape his life.
I wish he knew. I wish he knew every word I said was because I loved him. Because I was trying to keep him safe. Anything would be better than the goodbye he got. He deserved more. For that there was nothing that could have been changed; it was the only way for both of our lives to be safe… for the most part. He was alive and that was a fact I clung to. He was alive and not in danger. It was better than the alternatives, staying and the tracker killing him or turning into one of us to be in on the secret.
Only a little over a month after the public death of Beau Swan was Edythe still in Forks highschool. It was the best story to go with. Soon enough Dr. Cullen would pull Edythe out of public highschool and decide the grief was too hard to deal with and turn to homeschool.
Only one more week I had to wait until the agonizing 8 hours five days a week could she be back home along with me. During the time she spent at school it was just Ernest and I in the Cullen home, my home. The time seemed to drag on without Edythe.
At least to me I was partly lucky about my newborn stage. Or my lack of. The only part that gave me away was the crimson eyes. I would frequently catch myself in a reflection and panic. Freezing and having fear for the man that looked back. One that frightened me. If I would have seen this man whilst still human I would be terrified. His broad angular form sharpening his shoulders looking unworldly defined and towering over you with immense height. I did not particularly enjoy the fear this new body came with, but it was pleasing to know it was the body that matched Edythe. I would wait for my stone heart to start racing, but of course it would never.
The color was slowly evolving more and more into a deep gold. I was guaranteed at least 6 months before the color was appropriate to be seen in the human world.
Another grateful part of the newborn stage I am glad enough to skip. The raging bloodlust. It was there, it was always there, the dry ache in the back of my throat. But could be ignored. I had much more important wants and distractions to focus on.
Edythe always gave me more credit than I deserved. Especially when I brought up my crazy idea. I was hoping she would talk me out of it instead of encouraging my restraint. I wanted to see Charlie. Not with him knowing of course. Keeping a far distance to the point if the wind blew strong enough no scent could possibly reach me. My new improved senses allowed this as well to be so far away.
The first time Edythe came with me. It reminded me of my own funeral I observed from afar. Charlie had just begun going back to work. I think the free time was too painful for him. Edythe and I perched on top of a tree to the east of the house to see right through the living room and him sitting on the couch with his hands in his face. Edythe didn't say a word while we sat there; she only held my hand. He sat with his head in his hands for a while and slightly changed positions. He would look up and put his hand on his chin looking straight forward. Until eventually he sighed and leaned fully back on the couch. My eyes felt dry and uncomfortable dry, I had envisioned this is where, if I was still human, a tear would fall from my eye. My throat suddenly felt tight, a feeling unrelated to thirst. Edythe threw her arm around my weight and looked up at me with worrying eyes.
Charlie walked to the kitchen and spent moments looking in. I couldn't help but crack out a laugh. Edythe rearranged herself to be in front of I began to smile as her face changed from worried to confused.
"Charlie and cooking" I looked down and met her eyes for the first time. Her gaze met mine for a long moment before I finally said "Let's go home".
After that nearly everyday Edythe was in school I would watch Charlie. It felt strange seeing and watching everything around me whilst being invisible. I would also lurch in the woods near the High School. Edythe's schedule had not changed. I would watch her through the windows.
Though her despair was just acting, it still pained me to see. When she saw me looking at her through the windows she would also stare. It must look to teachers and other students that she was just mindfully looking out of the dull classroom and to the outside. They also did not question it. She was no longer called at or looked at in school. Even teachers found it difficult to look in her direction with the fake despair she constantly emitted.
When she had a class without a window is when I observed Charlie. He seemed… better. But he was a tough man. I would constantly think of when I could see him again. Surely if he was on his deathbed with no witnesses I would be able to say a proper goodbye. Even if there had been one person he saw nobody would believe him. That he saw his 17 year old son that has been long dead appear to him looking completely angelic. Perhaps he would believe he was about to die by being greeted with his angel son. I hoped he would think that way at least. He would probably not believe it himself. But that was okay. Perhaps Bonnie would be with him. And she would be okay with me being with him for his last moments.
The final bell rang from the school and I saw Edythe rush out to her car staring out into the trees where I was watching. She flashed me a smile when no one was looking. She quickly entered the car and anxiety waited for the rest of them to come. Once they got in the car I began the run home.
The normality of our new life was strangely pleasing. It would only get better once she no longer had to spend so much time acting human away from me. I met her outside the porch of the house. My lips turned into a huge smile and hers mirrored. And all my worries about Charlie and her charade was completely forgotten. All I could think about was how she was about to be in my arms again. She launched herself into me and then placed her lips onto my cheek. I pulled her body closer to my and hugged her tightly.
"I missed you" and then she kissed the other cheek
"You have no idea" I muttered. She seamlessly slid down my side and found my hand as we walked the rest of the way inside. The rest filled behind her. As much as I wanted to spend the rest of the little time I had left with Edythe until the next day. She frowned and turn to face me then Archie. Her lips turned slightly down, and then shook her head back to a smile. What could have caused this reaction? Then Archie came rushing to my side.
"We have an errand to run" I look down at him confused. Edythe looked unsurprised.
"And where is that?" he rolled his eyes and then slipped Edythe's hand from mine and held it pointing to the ring finger. This was not a trip I was very much excited for. As much as I wanted Edythe to be happy to have my ring on her finger I have been laying it off. How would I know what to get. Marriage was never a factor I considered in my life until now. I recalled asking Archie for his help, which he happily accepted.
"Ahh" I said. I saw Edythe flash a faint smile. I could tell she was waiting for me to officially pop the question after our impromptu engagement at my funeral. I wanted to do it right for her. She came from a different time. One where you would ask for her fathers hand in marriage after courting her, then when the time was right, get down on one knee and ask her to be your bride. I have never been more nervous since I had first met her. I recalled the blurry human memory I uncomfortably thought of when I first said my first words.
