Chapter 2- royal on the road

Beau reflects on his conversion with Royal as he and Archie make a trip


Archie had our trip clearly planned since he first accepted my question for help. We were to go to a jewelers out of state, I am still not sure where, it surely would be overcast. I was almost as nervous as picking out the ring as I was to be around so many humans. Archie assured me I would not do anything. Which I tried to focus on. But even with the future being told I was still not confident in myself. Archie would have to do most of my speaking because I would hold my breath to avoid breathing in any amount of human scent as possible.

The part of myself that was filled with fear of humans was still there but another part was excited. To be in the world. Besides Charlie's house on my tree, my spot in the forest outside Forks high school, or home. I was with Edythe for the most part which made the rest of it bearable knowing I would soon be with her. Not to mention her excitement when I got back and put the ring on her finger.

Trying to distract myself from the nerves I thought back to a conversation with Royal shortly after I was done with my transformation. He asked to speak with me alone. I saw Edythe give a fierce look and low hiss.

"Watch it" she demanded

"I just want to talk" he sharply said back, he turned back to face me "Beau will you come for a walk with me". I couldn't tell the expression on his face. It wasn't one I had seen before. Sympathetic whilst still looking angry with his perfect eyebrows pushed together slightly.

"Yes" I mumbled. I looked back to Edythe before following him out the door, she nodded back. I didn't know what to expect. Was he looking to yell at me for putting this kind of suspicion on his family? Frustrated because he didn't want me here? I was completely confined.

Once we were far enough away from the house where we couldn't be heard or Edythe hear his thoughts. He slowed down and paused waiting for me to be by his side and began a slow walk. He took a deep sigh.

"Beau, I want to apologize" He did not move his head to look at me, he stared straight ahead. I looked back confused.

"Why is that" I mumbled

"I have no reason to hate you" I let out a quite huff

"And you did before?"

"Not you specifically, but yes." he kept walking with his head still straight while I waited from him to continue. "This life, my life, now your life, is not one I want. To see you falling into this path, you had everything and it was thrown away" his voice deeped an octave and got hard "You know my story. You know how much I would do to go back. To be where I should right now, in a cemetery with a tombstone over my head and a wife next to mine. You see I was angry towards you because I was jealous." I quickly gasped. And he gave a quick grin.

"Beau I would have killed to be you. Anything to be human again. You had no idea how hard it was to watch that. But, it happened anyway, and for that I am truly sorry. There is no reason for me to hate you, not anymore" he said as if it was a sad thing. He paused and turned to meet my gaze for the first time.

"Beau I am truly sorry your life was taken from you. Please consider my forgiveness" His eyes bore into mine. It was uncomfortable to stare into them, as he waited for my forgiveness.

"I forgive you" I said slowly and not entirely confident. He looked away again down to the dirt.

"I guess I deserve that" It was a relief to know the reason he singled me out, but also a new level of confusion as the reason for why he hated me so much; jealousy. It almost made me want to laugh at how ridiculous it was without context.

"It's okay. I'm not mad at you. But I want you to know" I hesitated thinking my words very carefully and measuring how he would take it "I'm not miserable. I guess you could say I am happy?" he looked back with shock and confusion. My words were gentle and quiet, and seemed to hit him like bricks. His shoulders were suddenly stiff, brittle. "I mean everything was not ideal. But I have Edythe, right? The rest of you. It is not a bad way to be damned to eternity" I laughed. I did not include the part about how I wanted this anyway. "I would change things about how it happened, but Royal, I wouldn't want to go back." His jaw clenched and flashed me a deep scowl before he closed his eyes and retired back to his normal stoic glory.

"And I told myself I would get upset"

"Royal, I don't want you to feel bad and see something that you lost in my case." I paused and looked intently in his eyes as convincing as I could. "Because I gained more than I could possibly ever have imagined. I know you don't see this life that way, but I see my life that way." It was my final hail mary to Royal to convince him to not pity me and evidently hate me. I waited patiently for his response. He looked completely opposite to me. His walk slowed for a few seconds, and his eyes were on his feet. Finally, his shoulders slumped and he nodded.

"There I go, envying you again" he said confidently but I could hear the pain in his voice.

"I wish I could ever see it that way, Beau" he said as he stared deeply from his painful eyes.

After our heart-to-heart I felt better about our relationship. I am not a big feelings guy, but if it meant not living the rest of my life with someone who loathes me I would pour my heart out. Of course our relationship was never as strong as mine and Archies'. He seemed to be the only one who didn't take pity on me, which was refreshing.

The first part in solidifying our new friendship was the bond of wedding planning, an area I was desperately struggling in. I really only had a few responsibilities. Besides that, it was Edythes. I would do whatever I could for it to be anything she could possibly imagine. Even if that meant wearing a tux and saying "I do" after promising my mother for 17 years I would never be married young. But we already had so much more than marriage. I suppose a piece of paper, rings, and vows were nothing short of a commitment the average human made.

Before we arrived at the first jeweler, Achrie swiftly pulled out a small box and handed it to me.

"Contacts"

"Oh, right" my new eyes had not been acceptable by human standards yet. I was surprised when I opened the box to see that they were black and not blue. Though I shouldn't be.

"The black covers the color more, they will irritate your eyes and you'll have to put in a new pair soon." I somehow couldn't imagine how a thin lens could bother my new indestructible body. I plopped them in and I could see what he meant. The grid lines clouded my vision with the blurry film. I blinked a few times trying to readjust them.