Chapter 7: Act 1 Part 2: Mr Coconuts, Peanut and José

The crowd continued to cheer as Jeff brought Peanut onto the stand next to him. Peanut saw the crowd especially Lily cheering for him and he took a few bows with his left arm crossing his chest.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Peanut shouted happily as the audience continued to cheer.

The cheering stopped and Jeff spoke up.

"How are you doing tonight Peanut?" Jeff asked.

"I'm doing pretty good how bout you?" Peanut asked.

"I'm doing great!" Jeff said happily.

"Tha-tha-tha-that's GOOOOOOOOD! Hahaha!" Peanut cheered as the audience cheered with him!

"I'm really excited tonight!" Peanut shouted happily. "The other guys told me that you made new friends! That's so exci-TIIIIIIIINNNNNG!" Peanut put his mouth at Jeff's face much to his annoyance.

"Would you stop that?!" Jeff shouted before pushing Peanut away from him making the audience and Luan laugh.

"Sorry Jeff-fa-fa!" Peanut said Jeff's "nickname" Peanut made up for him making the audience laugh.

"Yeah so anyway." Jeff spoke up. "I did make new friends tonight and they are right here next to us." Jeff pointed to Luan and Mr. Coconuts.

"Hi Peanut!" Luan and Mr. Coconuts said in unison happily to Peanut.

"Hey hey hey!" Peanut said happily to Luan and Mr. Coconuts. "Nice to meet you two! What are your names?"

"My name is Luan Loud!" Luan introduced herself to Peanut.

"And my name is Mr. Coconuts!" Mr. Coconuts introduced himself to Peanut.

"Nice to meet ya guys!" Peanut said to Luan and Mr. Coconuts. "I'm so exited you guys became friends with my buddy Jeff-fa-fa Dun-HAAAMM!!!!"

The audience laughed as Luan and Mr. Coconuts looked confused.

"Did you just say, Jeff-fa-fa?" Luan asked. "Dun-HAAM?"

"What the heck kinda name is that?" Mr. Coconuts asked. "I would think a name like that would be at least Italian."

The audience laughed as Peanut then commented.

"No dudes it's not an Italian name I'm properly pronouncing Jeff-fa-fa's name using the useless and unneeded F in his first name!" Peanut said. "And for Dun-HAAAM. Ever eaten ham before? He's still the other white meat!"

The audience laughed as Luan spoke up.

"I don't think so." Luan said.

"Hey! Why did you interrupt me?" Peanut asked.

"You know that's still not how you say his name?" Luan asked.

"Wut?" Peanut asked.

"You mispronounced our friends' name." Luan said.

"Yeah. You keep mispronouncing my name." Jeff said.

"WROOOONG!!" Peanut said. "I'm saying it exactly how it is! Jeff-fa-fa Dun-Ham Ham Ham HAAAAM! *oink* *oink* *oink* *oink* *oink*"

The audience laughed as Peanut continues to make farm animal calls. "Moooooo*! Cuck-cuck-cuck-cu-coooow!!"

"Jeff-fa-faaaaaaaa!!!!" Peanut shouted in a sing-songy voice as the audience laughed. "DUN-HAAAAAAAM! DOT-COOOOOOOOM!!"

Peanut then looked in front of Mr. Coconuts. "Jefa-fa Dun-HAAAAAAAAM!!!!!!" Peanut shouted with his mouth open at Mr. Coconuts' face.

He then leaned against Mr. Coconuts. "Dot-COOOOM!!!"

Peanut smiled at the audience and pointed his head towards Jeff as Luan and Mr. Coconuts looked more confused.

"Uhh Peanut?" Luan asked.

"YEEES Luan?" Peanut asked Luan.

"Did you eat or drink a lot of sugar drinks or foods before we got here?" Luan asked as Mr. Coconuts spoke up.

"Yeah, I don't remember seeing anyone so hyper and jumpy since Halloween or Christmas with all the candies! And I don't remember seeing anymore drink as much caffeine as you apparently do!" Mr. Coconuts said as Peanut spoke up.

"Ok! Ok! Yes! I had some caffeine before the show! So don't JUDGE ME!!!" Peanut said as the audience laughed. "Huhhahaha! Mmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!"

Peanut clearly demonstrated his hyped up state due to apparently drinking a lot of caffeine beverages.

"Uh…. Peanut?" Jeff asked.

"WHAT!!!!!!!" Peanut shouted in Jeff's ear making him whence in pain which made the audience laugh.

"What did I tell you about having caffeine?!" Jeff asked Peanut.

"I know! I know! I'm sorry! I can't help it! I need caffeine to WAKE ME UP!!!" Peanut said. "Huhhahahahahahaha!!!!! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!"

"Oh geez! I wish I was in that big a sugar rush for Halloween and Christmas or even Valentine's Day!" Luan said.

"Me too Luan." Mr Coconuts said. "Why can't I have treats like this before our shows. Everyone would laug their butts off more with us!"

The audience laughed as Jeff spoke up.

"Looks like you guys are very excited for tonight!" Jeff said.

"You know it Jeff!" Luan said as Mr. Coconuts spoke up.

"We're very excited to meet new friends!" Mr. Coconuts said.

"That's great guys!" Jeff said.

"Or maybe they're excited because apparently Luan has a hand up Mr. Coconuts' ass." Peanut said as he did a little dance smiling happily making the audience laugh.

"Uh Peanut?" Jeff asked. "Do you HAVE to make jokes like that?"

"It's just so weird in front of everyone, Luan at her age, she already has a hand up Mr. Coconuts ass!" Peanut said.

The audience laughed. "If I were Luan here, I would at least take Mr. Coconuts out to dinner first."

The audience laughed. Then Jeff spoke up.

"Wait a minute." Jeff spoke up confused. "Since when did you become an expert of romantic relationships?"

"I swear to God Jeff-fa-fa if there's anyone that is an expert of forming romantic relationships it me! Booyah!"

Peanut shouted as he did a little victory dance.

Luan and Mr. Coconuts looked confused. "Wait a sec? How are you a relationship expert when apparently you never had any romance with anyone?" Luan asked.

"Yeah. You seem to not have any relationships with anyone since your name "Peanut" gives people peanut allergies!" Mr. Coconuts said making the audience laugh and Peanut have a shocked and offended look on his face.

"Hey!" Peanut said offended. "What about you Mr. CocoNUTS!"

"What are you talking about?" Mr. Coconuts asked.

"Yeah! What are you talking about Mr. Peanut allergies!" Luan asked.

"I mean think about it." Peanut started. "Your name is Mr. Coconuts. But there is recess peanut butter cups."

"So?" Luan and Mr. Coconuts asked.

"You heard of Recess Peanut Butter cups? And your name is Mr. Coconuts. "So your name is affiliated with both chocolate and peanuts exactly like recess chocolate and peanuts!" Peanut said before he turned to Mr Coconuts. "Who's the peanut allergy now bitch?"

The audience laughed as Luan and Mr. Coconuts look offended but then they shot back at Peanut.

Peanut then spoke up more. "Another thing is you seem to wear the same exact circus outfit every time you come on to these shows. I mean I seen cartoon characters wear the same outfits every episode and you may be one since you wear the same outfit every single frickin' day!"

The audience laughed as Luan and Mr Coconuts looked more offended at Peanut's insults.

"Oh yeah!" Luan shouted. "What about you Peanut! You barely wear any clothes besides that worn out shoe on your left foot!"

"Yeah!" Mr Coconuts agreed. "I mean are you a woozle or a hobo? Hahahaha!!"

The audience laughed.

"Alright guys." Jeff spoke up. "I think we need to slow down the fighting and start doing more chatting like friends. And I think you owe them an apology Peanut."

"Alright alright alright alright!!" Peanut said jumpy a bit. "I'm sorry."

"That's ok Peanut. We only just met after all." Luan said.

"Apology accepted." Mr. Coconuts said before talking about. "I hope you at least wear new shoes on your feet."

The audience laughed as Peanut looked slightly offended but then decided to pull another joke.

"I'm more sorry to you Luan." Peanut said.

"For what?" Luan asked.

"That your partner is such a clown." Peanut said making everyone laugh a bit. "No wonder so many guys on dates act like such clowns. Hahaha!!"

The audience laughed as Peanut spoke up again. "And one more thing." Peanut looked at Mr. Coconuts. "That outfit and those puffy cheeks on his face… makes him look so cute."

The audience laughed as Luan and Mr. Coconuts blushed.

"Ok guys." Jeff spoke up. "I think we should…"

"Wait!" Peanut shouted. "My little 'name-calling' to Mr. Coconuts made me think of another 'nickname' for him: Mr. Coco Puffs!"

"Coco puffs?" Jeff asked. "You mean like the breakfast cereal?"

"Yes." Peanut answered. "I mean. A clown like him and a dude like me who drinks NyQuil and Red Bull for bed is coocoo for coco puffs everyday!"

The audience laughed. "Is that why you never sleep at night?" Mr Coconuts asked.

"Yup." Peanut said. "I'm always so full of energy!"

Peanut then went on a little jumpy and wacky dance and chanting. "Hey stop sign! Upstairs! Thank you! Good night! Turn around! Behind ya! Doiing doiing! Horseshoe! Turtle! Coco puffs! Dinga! Dinga! Dinga! Dinga! Dinga!"

Suddenly, the green patch of hair on Peanuts head flew off making him bald and causing the audience to burst into a huge fit of loud laughter and applause.

Luan and Mr. Coconuts had shocked faces before looking at each other still having those faces making the audience laugh more.

Luan and Mr. Coconuts turned back to Peanut. "Uhh. Peanut?" Luan spoke up.

"Either you shaved your head or you're wearing a wig." Mr. Coconuts said. "Cuz you got a pretty shiny bald head!"

Peanut then used his left hand to feel his head only to realize he's bald. He then went into a shocked face.

"Ha!" Peanut said. "I must already be in a midlife crisis!"

The audience laughed as Peanut then spotted Lynn. Sr. "Hey Luan. I think that's your daddy down there right?"

"Yeah." Luan answered.

"Now I know how he feels when he goes into a midlife crisis!" Peanut said making the audience laugh.

Jeff then got Peanut's hair back on his head before Peanut spoke to Lynn Sr. "Im just kidding buddy. What's your name?"

"Lynn Sr." Lynn Sr. Answered.

"Huh. Nice name." Peanut said. "And dude, you're so not alone on being in a midlife crisis as you just saw tonight."

The audience laughed as Jeff brought Peanut to Lynn Sr. And they gave each other a hug making the audience coo in happiness.

"Peanut! Peanut! Peanut!" Lily shouted as she clapped her hands after seeing Peanut up close.

Peanut then looked at Lily and smiled. "Hey! Looks like this little tyke here is a fan of me! What's your name?"

"Lily! Lily!" The baby shouted happily clapping her hands.

"Lily. That's a cute name for a little tyke like you!" Peanut said as he and Lily hugged each other making the audience coo in happiness at the cute scene.

"You look like you have a bright future ahead of ya." Peanut said to Lily before turning to Lynn Sr. "Id keep looking after your family especially your daddy if I were you. Especially when he goes into a midlife crisis and his hair goes all yyyyy-YEOW!!"

Peanut did a hair buzz gesture on his hair making the audience laugh but his hair fell out again making the audience laugh again.

Peanut felt his head again when he realized his hair fell out again. "Did my hair fall off my head again?"

"Yup. It did." Jeff replied.

"Aw. Damnit!" Peanut complained. "One midlife crisis then another. No wonder my life sucks so bad."

The audience laughed as Lincoln found Peanut's hair.

"Here ya go Peanut!" Lincoln said giving Peanut's hair to him.

"Haha!" Peanut laughed. "Thanks buddy!"

Peanut and Lincoln then high fived each other before he and Jeff made their way back on stage.

"Ok everyone!" Peanut said. "We got those midlife crises averted! Moving on!"

"Hey Peanut." Luan spoke up. "Thanks for that tender scene with my family. Especially my dad and my baby sister Lily."

"You got it Luan." Peanut said. "Ooh! One more thing about you guys."

"What?" Luan asked.

"You two seem like a good dynamic duo." Peanut said. "If this whole comedy business somehow doesn't work for you guys. You two can be a crime fighting super hero dynamic duo!"

Luan had a memory flashed in her mind. "Actually Im based on an Ace Savy comic character. 'The Joker'"

The audience and especially the Louds cheered at that statement.

"'The Joker?'" Peanut asked. "Is that an actual name or is that stolen from the DC universe?"

"Uhhhhh. Maybe." Luan said. "But it's only the name."

Peanut shrugged. "Fair enough. So Luan, you can be the Joker and have Mr. Coconuts be your trusty side clown. Haha!"

Jeff spoke up. "So you think they would be a super hero team right?"

"Uhh. Ish." Peanut said.

"Ish?" Mr Coconuts asked. "Is this like Jewish? Since when did we become Jewish?"

The audience laughed as Peanut spoke up. "No Mr. Coconuts you're not Jewish, cuz you wouldn't be Mr. Coconuts you'd be Mr. Kosher nuts."

The audience laughed before Peanut spoke up again. "Wearing a yarmulke instead of a straw hat! HAHAHAHA!!!"

The audience and Peanut continued to laugh. "(GAAAAAAASSSSSASP)" Peanut let in a huge gasp of air after laughing so hard.

Jeff then spoke up. "Ok guys. I think we should call it a night."

"No! Not yet!" Peanut shouted. "There's one more friend we gotta introduce to Luan and Mr. Coconuts."

"And who is that?" Luan asked.

"My best frienemy. José Jalapeño!" Peanut said making the audience cheer. "Well, what are we waiting for?! Let's bring him out here!"

"Coming right up Peanut!" Jeff said as he is about to bring José out when Peanut made an announcement.

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Give it up for José Jalapeño! On a Steek!" Peanut announced as Jeff brought José out and is holding his stick with his left hand.

"Hey José!" Jeff greeted the jalapeño.

"Hola Señor Jeff." José greeted Jeff before Peanut spoke up.

"Hola Señor non US citizen." Peanut said mocking José as well as all illegal aliens.

"Hello to you too purple bastard" José shot back making the audience laugh.

José then turned to Luan and Mr. Coconuts. "Who are your new amigos?"

"Hi José!" Luan greeted. "I'm Luan Loud! And this is my partner Mr. Coconuts!"

"Hola señorita Luan." José greeted. "You too Señor Coconutes."

"Say. What exactly are you José?" Mr. Coconuts asked.

"What does it look like señor? I'm a talking jalapeño." José answered. "On a steek."

"You look kinda cute." Luan said. "Especially with that sombrero on your head."

"Yeah." Mr. Coconuts said. "And a bit tasty too. I could gobble you up!"

The audience laughed before José spoke up.

"I have to warn you señor." José began. "If you eat me I'd burn your ass."

The audience laughed at the remark.

"Ooh." Luan shuddered at José's "spiciness" "Point taken."

"You wouldn't want any spice coming out of your butts dudes." Peanut spoke up. "Especially from this illegal alien on a stick."

The audience laughed.

"It's pronounced steek señor a-hole." José corrected Peanut and shot back at Peanut's apparent prejudice towards him.

"Yeah yeah whatever señor smartass." Peanut shot back.

José looked at Peanut. "Muppet knockoff."

Peanut looked offended at José's insult as the audience laughed and then Luan and Mr. Coconuts began laughing too.

"Hahaha! I haven't seen anything like this since I've seen married couples fight and insult each other like this." Mr. Coconuts remarked as the audience laughed.

"Hahaha! Me too!" Luan laughed.

Peanut looked confused. "No dudes were not married cuz one that would be gay, and two we are friends." He remarked.

"Don't like like it to me." Luan remarked.

"Yes Luan." Peanut said. "He and I are friends."

"No we are not." José said.

"Yes" Peanut said.

"No" José said.

"Yes" Peanut said.

"No, we are not friends." José said.

"Yes we are." Peanut said. "Best frickin' FRIENDS!"

The audience laughed as Jeff, Luan and Mr. Coconuts looked at peanut.

"WHAAAAT?!" Peanut asked in a high pitched voice.

"Are you two friends?" Mr. Coconuts asked.

"Yeah." Peanut answered.

"No." José said back.

"Shut up." Peanut shot at José as Luan and Mr. Coconuts looked at each other in confusion as the audience laughed.

"Are you sure?" Luan asked.

"Yes." Peanut answered.

"No." José said back.

"Shut… the hell… up." Peanut said.

"Wow. There sure seems to be a whole lotta 'spice' in this relationship! Hahaha! Get it?" Mr. Coconuts said making the audience laugh.

Peanut didn't look amused. "You gotta work on that a little more dude."

"Why?" Luan asked.

"That lame pun feels like something that would come out of my ass!" Peanut remarked.

"It's still the perfect spot for me to put me steek." José said making the audience laugh and Jeff and Luan cringe a bit.

"Oh yeah?" Peanut asked. "If you can even move and have arms I'd like to see ya try! Ha!"

"I still have señor Jeff to help me." José remarked.

"Oooh! That would be hilarious!" Mr. Coconuts laughed. "Jeff using José as a weapon on Peanut!"

"Hahaha! He would literally be a Mexican whacker!" Luan laughed as the audience laughed with her.

"On a steek." José said.

"YES!!!!!!" Peanut shouted making the audience laugh.

"Oooh. Touched a nerve there." Luan said laughing.

"Who's laughing now buddy? We are!" Mr. Coconuts said laughing with Luan and the audience.

"That's disrespectful." Peanut said.

"And so is your mother and your ugly looking sister." José said making everyone laugh harder and Peanut looked highly offended.

"HEY!!!!" Peanut shouted. "What the Hell?!"

The audience and even Jeff, Luan, José and Mr. Coconuts smirked then laughed.

"You guys are laughing too?!" Peanut asked in annoyance.

Luan and Mr. Coconuts laughed at Peanut. "Wow Peanut! You're getting more burned than José's spice coming out of your butt! Hahaha!"

"Anyone got their popcorn out to watch this? Hahaha!" Mr. Coconuts remarked laughing.

"JERKS!" Peanut said.

"Ok guys!" Jeff spoke up. "That was pretty fun but how about we move on."

"You guys know what would be more entertaining for me? If José was in a big plate of nachos! Hahaha!" Peanut joked making the audience laugh. "And Mr. Coconuts has a pie in his face like the clown he is! Hahaha!"

"Unless you want José to burn your mouth and your butt and you have a pie in your face I'd watch it buddy." Mr. Coconuts said.

"Gracias señor." José thanked.

"De Nada José!" Luan and Mr. Coconuts said.

"Ok ok guys. This is getting a little out of control." Jeff said. "I think we should make up from this and apologize."

"Yeah I agree. Especially you Peanut." Luan said.

"Alright alright alright alright!" Peanut said. "I'm sorry for being mean to you guys."

"It's ok." Luan said.

"It was actually fun." Mr. Coconuts said.

"It's ok Señor Peanut." José said.

"Ok." Jeff said before José spoke up.

"I hope you die." José said making the audience laugh and feel a little shocked too.

"You guys should talk to each other a little nicer." Jeff said.

"Ok ok. Uh. ¿Cómo estás? ¿Lo estas haciendo bien?" Peanut said in Spanish.

"Sí señor. Muy buéno" José said back in Spanish.

"Uh what are you guys doing?" Luan asked.

"Talking each other in José's native tongue." Peanut answered.

"Ok. Welll. That kinda makes us uncomfortable." Luan said in awkwardness making the audience laugh.

"Huh?" Peanut asked.

"We don't speak Spanish." Mr. Coconuts said as Peanut, Jeff and José looked at them funny making the audience laugh. "What? Not everyone does, no need to judge us."

José turned back around humming horror music making the audience laugh.

"Well guys." Jeff spoke up. "That was a bit fun."

"You know it Jeff!" Luan said happily.

"I feel a little sleepy." José said. "Can you drop me off in the box señor?"

"Ok." Jeff said when he literally dropped José back in the box.

"WOAH!!" Peanut and Mr. Coconuts shouted.

"Dude! When he said drop him off he didn't mean it literally!" Peanut said before laughing. "Although it's still funny as hell!"

"Are you ok José" Mr. Coconuts asked.

"Sí señor Coconutes." José answered. "My steek broke my fall."

The audience laughed.

"You know dude." Peanut said. "For the first time in a while I feel sleepy too."

"Ha! That's a first." Mr. Coconuts said making the audience laugh.

"I know right?!" Luan said laughing.

"I want to go back in too for a little nap. And give our friends here a chance to meet the other guys." Peanut suggested.

"Good idea Peanut." Jeff said. "They haven't met Achmed and Bubba J yet."

Peanut then looked at Luan and Mr. Coconuts. "Well guys. It sure as hell was fun meeting you guys. I think you two are great partners. But still Luan, take Mr. Coconuts out to dinner first before your 'dating'"

The audience laughed.

"It was nice meeting you too Peanut!" Luan said happily. "We had fun too!"

"It would've been more fun seeing your head explode from all the times we burned you!" Mr. Coconuts said laughing with the audience joining him.

The audience then applauded as Jeff puts Peanut back in the box.

"Well everyone. That was a bit of an eventful meet and greet between Peanut, José, Luan and Mr. Coconuts." Jeff spoke up. "But now it's time for them to make a new friend. Or should I say frienemy."

Jeff continued. "Some of you know him as the dead terrorist himself with a hilarious joker side of him. Ladies and Gentlemen! Please welcome our next guest! Achmed the Dead Terrorist!"

The audience cheered as Jeff goes into his box to bring out Achmed the Dead Terrorist.