In this chapter…

416 discovers an unhealthy coping mechanism

G11 makes the brightest Christmas light

And NORAD does a funni

Fortunately, a quick Google search allowed 9 to remember the basics of first aid and she was able to successfully resuscitate Helian. However, first aid wasn't quite enough to treat internal bleeding and broken bones, which meant that 404 had to make a quick stop at a hospital. This led to another piece of good news: the reindeer could fly themselves. Thus, the gang of merry mercenaries, with two elves in tow, were able to deliver Griffin's second-in-command to the ER without being subjected to another 416 road rage incident.

Not that it stopped the white-haired doll from complaining.

"9, did you really have to slip a handwritten apology note into Helian's pocket before we dropped her off?"

"Well, it's our fault that she got hurt in the first place. It's only nice to apologize to one of our best clients."

"Alright, but why did you sign it as being from 'Santa's helpers'?"

"Because that's what we are now!"

"How can we be helping him if he's dead?"

"He's only dead because you killed him~!" 45 said in a voice that was too merry considering the circumstances.

"Oh, fuck off…" 416 would have put her face in her hands if she wasn't holding the reins.

"You know she's never going to let you live down this mistake, right?" G11 moaned from the backseat. She had propped up her new pillow against Wayne in the backseat of the sleigh and was trying to go back to sleep.

"I-" 416 clenched the reins even harder as she prepared to rebuke the sharpshooter, but 45 interrupted.

"Well, I'm only a little mad. 416's accident may actually turn out to be good for us. Very good, in fact."

416 cast a sidelong glance at 45. She was relaxed, lounging in her seat as if she didn't have a care in the world. 416 knew from experience that 45 only got like this when she was about to pull off one of her schemes.

"What are you up to, 45?"

"Oh don't worry. I have a plan, 416."

"Sure you do, Dutch," G11 muttered from the backseat.

"What was that?" 45 turned to glare at the small doll.

"NOTHING!" G11 quickly buried her face in her pillow.

Wayne shifted from the extra weight. Sighing, he turned to Lenny.

"Christmas is doomed."

*THUNK*

"Here we are!~"

45 hopped out of the sleigh, as it came to a stop. They had arrived at the first house on their journey. It was an unassuming structure with a triangular roof and a brick chimney. Everything was covered in white as snow continued to fall.

"So what's our plan of entry?" 9 walked up beside 45.

"Our plan? 416's going in by herself. We're gonna sit up here on the roof and enjoy the view."

"Huh?" 416's feet just hit the ground as 45 spoke.

"You heard me. Get a move on, we don't have all night."

"Can I take a nap?" G11 poked her head up over the sleigh.

"Yes." 45 yelled back before 416 could start scolding G11 again.

"Yayyyyyyy!" G11 fell back into her pillow and promptly began to snore.

416 sighed, then turned around. She was positively fuming at this point. She couldn't believe she had massively screwed up twice on the same job, and 45's constant barbs were not helping.

"Hold on, you can't just send me in there alone."

"Are you saying that you aren't skilled enough to hand out a few presents by yourself?"

416's eyes narrowed. If there was one thing she loathed, it was people questioning her abilities. She had just about had enough of 45's attitude tonight. She clenched a hand around the knife on her belt, as she closed the distance to the hacker. Before she could reach her, however, 9 stepped between the two of them.

"416 has a point, 45. We can't just send her in there on her own. She needs someone to cover her back."

"We can cover her from the roof."

"What about the family inside? You know the kind of world we live in; it's possible they are armed."

"Hmmmm…" 45 turned to the side as she considered the idea. "Alright, have Wayne and Lenny go with her. I'll deactivate the house alarm from here."

9 grinned nervously. She was desperately trying to avoid a fight, but it seemed 45 was determined to push 416's buttons.

"I think she meant one of us. How about I-"

"45's plan is acceptable." 416 cut her off as she continued to stare down 45. "This way I don't have to be around her." She turned around and marched back towards the sleigh.

9 watched 416 march off, confusion written all over her face. She turned back to 45, who merely shrugged and flashed her signature smirk.

"Alright midgets, out of the sleigh. We're going inside."

Lenny and Wayne started at the sudden shout from the white-haired doll. They looked up at her. For a moment, her appearance seemed almost comical. The red coat, which was much too large for her, hung down past her knees. It was also completely at odds with her stern expression, purple clover hair clips, and black beret. However, a scowl and a gesture of 416's rifle quickly brought the elves back to reality and they scrambled out of the sleigh.

416 turned and walked to the edge of the roof. She pulled out a rope and began to look for a place to tie it. After a few moments, she noticed the elves weren't following her.

"What is it?"

The elves looked at each other, appearing to have a silent debate. Wayne seemed to be the loser, as he was the one to break the silence.

"The chimney is that way." Wayne pointed to the stone block sticking out of the roof.

"No."

"But Santa usually-"

"No."

"It's the only way-"

"Forget the chimney. We're breaching the front door."

When 416 said they were going to 'breach the door', Wayne wasn't expecting 416 to actually try and kick it in. It took Lenny physically putting himself in front of the door and a terse radio call from 45 to keep her from waking the whole house. As 416 stepped back to reassess and calm down, Wayne decided to take matters into his own hands. He stepped forward and pulled out a tool from his belt. After looking closely at the lock, he pressed a few buttons on the device, then held it up to the door's lock. After a few seconds, the lock clicked open.

Wayne turned around grinning, only to be met with a blank stare from 416.

"What?"

"You have an automatic lock picker?"

"Of course. Us Prep and Landing elves have to occasionally open locked doors," Wayne said. 416 hummed in approval.

"Guess you are more useful than I expected."

"Uhh, what were your expectations?" Wayne wasn't fast enough to stop Lenny from putting his foot in his mouth.

"Near zero."

416, Santa sack tied to her back with extra rope, brushed past the pair into the front hallway. She had her weapon raised, ready to respond to any threat. She began opening doors that branched off into separate rooms, clearing each one methodically.

Meanwhile, Wayne and Lenny had no idea what 416 was doing. To them, the stiff movements all seemed ridiculous. They opted to awkwardly follow her, as she continued down the hall.

Eventually, the trio reached the living room and the tree. It was here 416 stopped, as if she realized something, then slowly turned towards Wayne.

"Uhh, how do I know which presents to give?"

"Oh, I got it." Lenny sprinted to the tree and pulled out a Gingerbread Man-shaped tablet. After pressing on the screen a few times, the tablet projected out a hologram of the presents that the kids in this house were to receive. Around each present was an outline of the box that contained the gift, so Santa would know where to place each one.

"Oh cool, this kid is getting a bike. He's gonna be so happy Christmas morning." Lenny's face lit up as he began imagining the wonderful moment.

"Stop daydreaming, I have enough of that from G11." 416 pulled the gift bag off her back and began opening it up. "Now, how do I find where the presents are in this…" 416 trailed off as she looked inside. She then reached in and pulled out a box that had the exact same shape and size as the holographic box for the bike. "How the hell…"

"That's Christmas magic for you," Wayne remarked.

"Oh, shut up." 416 scowled as she began placing presents under the tree. After a few minutes, all of the gifts were in their proper places. 416 stood up.

"Alright, let's get back to the roof-" Suddenly there was a large growl from behind the trio. They turned as one, 416 bringing up her weapon in the process. Fortunately, she didn't pull the trigger prematurely this time.

From the door leading to the kitchen came a large German Shepherd. It snarled at 416, bearing its teeth.

"Shit, we need to shut it up before it wakes the whole house."

"I've got it." This time Wayne stepped forward. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a circular object with a pin on the top. 416's eyes widened.

"Is that a GRENADE?"

"No, it's not." Wayne rolled his eyes as he pulled the pin off the top of the object, then tossed it towards the dog. Right before it hit the dog, the object burst into sparkles with a small *pop*.

The dog, curious, began sniffing the air. As the sparkles landed on its head, the dog's eyes began to droop. It swayed a bit on its feet, then laid down on the ground. Immediately, the dog began to snore.

Lenny ran forward, pulled out a dog treat, and set it in front of the dog. After petting it a few times, he turned around and gave a thumbs-up. The dog was fast asleep.

"Let me guess, more of your 'Christmas magic?'" 416 raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, they're Christmas ornaments. They allow us to make anyone fall asleep, and induce temporary memory loss. Useful if we get seen." Wayne held one up for her to see. It indeed looked like a regular Christmas ornament.

"That's…surprisingly practical." 416 took the ornament and inspected it.

"Hey, we elves take our jobs very seriously. Especially on Christmas Eve."

"Speaking of Christmas Eve, we need to get a move on. I'll let 45 know we are done here." 416 pocketed the ornament and began walking back towards the door.

"WAIT," Lenny called out. 416 turned around in alarm, raising her weapon in anticipation of a threat.

"What about the cookies?"

416 slowly lowered her weapon as Wayne facepalmed. The junior elf's lack of situational awareness had no limits.

"Cookies?" 416 seemed confused as to what Lenny was talking about.

"Families usually set cookies for Santa to eat. We have to take them with us or else-"

"People could get suspicious about Santa's well-being, right." 416 nodded. "We need to take them with us then if we are pretending to be him, so we don't blow our cover." She turned towards the kitchen. Lenny swallowed and leaned over to Wayne.

"I was gonna say the kids would get sad Santa didn't like their cookies," he whispered. "Should I tell her?"

"No." The two elves followed 416 into the kitchen.

Inside, they found 416 holding up a plate of cookies. She seemed to be staring intently at them, as if trying to look for something among the chocolate chips.

Lenny opened his mouth to talk before Wayne slapped a hand over his mouth. Not that he wasn't wondering himself what she was doing.

After a moment, 416 set down the plate with a sigh.

"They seem to be okay to eat. Not poisoned or anything." She turned to the pair. "You midgets want any of these?"

Lenny shook his head with Wayne's hand still over his mouth, while Wayne gestured for her to go ahead. 416 shrugged, then took a bite out of the top cookie.

She got through one chew before her eyes shot open and she froze. She looked down at the cookie in her hand and stared at it as she began to slowly chew again. After swallowing she quickly took another bite. Then another. And another. Lenny and Wayne stared in shock as they watched 416 wolf down the entire plate of cookies at a speed that would've let her qualify for the annual Elf Cookie Eating Contest. After the plate was empty, 416 reached for a napkin and wiped her mouth off with a corner of it. She turned back towards the pair.

"..."

"..."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Then get a move on. We've got more houses to visit."

"Took you long enough." 45 smirked as she watched 416 climb back on the roof.

"Would've been shorter if you helped." 416 marched past her towards the sleigh with the elves in tow.

"But you did such a good job by yourself." 45 put on a fake smile and mockingly praised the Doll. "I don't think anyone could've placed presents as carefully as you did."

"Thank you." Don't let her provoke you. She's looking for a response.

"Except for the part where you almost ATF'd that dog."

"GOTTVERDAMMT!"

After a short, heated discussion during which 416 introduced the elves to several new vocabulary words, 404 set off to visit more houses. After the first few homes, 416 got into a routine and delivered presents with the efficiency she was known for. She would land, rappel down to the front door, place the gifts quickly, take a break to eat some delicious cookies, then climb back up to the sleigh and fly off. It almost seemed like the rest of the trip would pass without incident.

So of course, this is when G11 finally woke up from her nap.

The little sharpshooter sat up from her new pillow, rubbed her eyes, and took in the surroundings. The first thing she noticed was how bright things were. The sleigh and roof were covered in a warm glow, to the point that she wondered if it was morning. She brought her hand over her head to shield her eyes from the brightness.

Peering over the edge of the sleigh revealed a very large light display portraying Santa and his nine reindeer. It was elaborate, with dozens of lights for each reindeer. The lighted sleigh was itself larger than the actual sleigh.

G11 sighed. She wasn't going back to sleep, not with all this light in the way. She grabbed her pillow, slung her rifle over her shoulder, and hopped over the rail and onto the roof. She trudged over to where 45 and 9 were sitting at the edge of the roof.

"How's it going?"

"Oh, looks like Sleepo Beepo decided to wake up." 45 turned around. "It's going okay. We seem to be on schedule according to the elves."

"Is 416 still mad?"

"Not really." 9 answered. "She seems to be back to her normal grumpiness."

G11 sighed in relief. It seemed that she would escape another scolding for now. Her mind wandered back to the glowing monstrosity behind her.

"What kind of person thinks it's a good idea to hook up a searchlight on their roof?"

"Oh c'mon, G11," 9 giggled, "Christmas lights are a major tradition. It's a way to show their love for the holiday."

"More like a way to show their insanity," 45 frowned. "It's not just the roof either. Come look at this." 45 gestured over the side of the roof. G11 stepped forward to get a look.

The entire front yard and wall of the house were covered in Christmas lights. Candy canes lined the walkways, and snowflakes and stars covered the porch. Light-up elves and snowmen dotted the yard, with one corner dedicated to what looked like a wooded house surrounded by animals and men in robes. In between, G11 spotted a maze of electrical wires feeding power to the display.

"This is a normal Christmas tradition?"

"I'll admit it's a bit much for one house…"

"A BIT? This freak show is brighter than a flashbang when it goes off. Not to mention the fact that their electrical setup is clearly haphazard. I'm surprised the homeowner didn't shock themselves."

"It's so bright, how can anyone get any sleeeeeeep?" G11 rubbed her eyes. The display hurt to look at. "45, can't you turn it off?"

"Of course I can, but the entire light display turning off could draw attention to us. I'm not gonna risk it. Just wait until 416 gets back here and we leave."

"Fineeeeeee." G11 turned around on the edge of the roof to go back to the sleigh. Unfortunately, her foot caught on one of the light strands. She tried over and began to slide off the roof.

"NOT AGAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNN!" G11 cried. She frantically tried to grab onto something to arrest her fall. 9 and 45 scrambled to grab her, but it was too late. G11 went over the edge, trailing a light strand behind her.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" G11 shut her eyes as the ground rushed up to meet her. "I DON'T WANNA DIEEEEEE-"

Fortunately, the light strand wrapped around her foot arrested her fall right before she hit the ground. G11 stopped, dangling right in front of a window. Slowly, she opened her eyes.

"Huh? I'm okay." G11 stared at the ground for a moment. "I'm okay! HEY 9, PULL ME U-" G11 looked up from the ground and froze.

Standing in the window was none other than 416. She was holding a plate of cookies and was in the middle of eating when her attention was drawn by G11's fall. The white-haired doll stared at G11 without moving. Gradually, her face grew more and more angry. She set down the plate and began marching towards the window.

"WAIT, 416, I CAN EXPLAIN!" G11 frantically waved her arms. She desperately tried to think of a way to escape 416's wrath.

*PZZT*

G11 stopped, unsure exactly what sound she just heard. She looked for the source of the noise, which she thought came from the roof. It took a moment, but she soon spotted a frayed piece of the wire that was holding her. It was sparking.

I don't think it's supposed to do that.

That was G11's last thought before it all went to shit.

"Did someone yell?"

Eki sat up in his bed. A young man in his twenties, he was visiting his parents for the holidays. Of course, that meant he had to sleep in his old bedroom. He had brought along his anime figures and patches to liven up the place, at the expense of concerning his parents. Images and statues of attractive women, some in suggestive poses, were strung about the room.

"Eh, probably nothing." His mind turned to tomorrow's gift-giving.

I wonder if I'll get some more cool patches this year.

Suddenly, a loud pounding came from the roof. Eki's head shot up. It sounded as if there were a horse stampede up there. Or maybe deer.

"Wait, there's no way…" Eki looked at the Advent calendar hanging on his door. On it was a cute drawing of Santa waving from his sleigh.

"Nah, Santa ain't real." Eki reached for his phone. He didn't feel like going back to sleep, so he decided to play some gacha games.

*BLAM*

Eki's door slammed open. He jumped, dropping his phone.

Standing in his doorway was an unmistakable figure. They had white hair and wore a large red coat and pointed hat. Except this person was undoubtedly a girl from her figure.

Holy shit, Santa's real! Eki took another moment to stare at her. And she's a hot girl!

The female Santa locked her eyes on him. She marched over to the bed. Eki's heart rate quickened.

"There's no time to explain. You're coming with me!" Female Santa picked Eki up in a bridal carry and ran to the door. He had questions, but he decided to keep them to himself as he rather enjoyed his present situation.

However, as they entered the hallway, the situation became immediately clear. The entire far end of the hallway was engulfed in flames. Eki inhaled a noseful of smoke, erupting into a coughing fit.

"Try and hold your breath." Female Santa ran for the stairs.

"Wait! I need to get my anime coll-"

"NO TIME!" As they reached the ground floor, Eki saw two more figures carrying his parents out the front door. Female Santa ran out the door after them.

Once they reached the street, Female Santa set Eki down and grabbed his shoulders.

"Hey! HEY! You alright?" She leaned in close to his face.

"I, uh, I…"

"ARE YOU OKAY?"

"I'm FINE!" Eki managed to force out the words. This whole situation was moving way too fast for him. Getting rescued by a cute girl out of the blue was something that only happened in fiction, but here it was happening to him.

"That's good. Your parents should be fine as well." Female Santa looked back towards the blaze that now engulfed the whole house. "Sorry about that."

"It-it's fine." Just stay cool man. Just. Stay. Cool.

"I know it doesn't mean much at this point, but I have something for you." She reached into a bag sitting on the road and pulled out a box. "This is your Christmas present."

"My…Christmas present?" Eki frowned.

"Yes, your present. It's what you wanted for Christmas. You were on the nice list, so here you go." She pushed the bow toward him

"Okay?" She's being very direct right now. Eki grabbed the present. "What's inside?"

"Aren't you supposed to wait until-agh, fine." Female Santa turned around and yelled, "LENNY!". A small elf ran over and handed her a tablet.

"Alright, let's see, you got a-" She stopped. Eki waited for her to go on, but instead of continuing, Female Santa let the tablet fall to her side.

"Is there a problem?" Eki wondered if he did anything to make her mad, but she didn't respond. The elf grabbed the tablet back from her and looked at it. As he read it, Female Santa began to clench her hands into fists.

"Hey, Wayne, what's a hen-tay?"

Eki's face paled as he realized exactly what the box contained. He opened his mouth in an attempt to say something, ANYTHING, to undo the damage. However, before he could get a word out, Female Santa pulled out a handgun and pointed it straight at his head.

"Don't talk." Her eyes burned with fury. Eki could only nod. "Now listen here. Tonight is Christmas, and I don't really like shooting civilians, so I'm gonna let you go. However, if you say one word about tonight to anyone, I will make sure no one finds your body. GOT IT?"

Eki nodded again. Female Santa holstered her weapon and turned around with a scoff.

"Lenny, we're leaving. Did Wayne get the cookies?"

"Yes, ma'am." The elf scuttled after her.

"Good. I need something to deal with this bullshit." The two ran out of sight, leaving Eki alone on the road with his unconscious parents.

"...What the fuck just happened?"

"What's wrong, 9? You look like someone just killed your puppy."

"Well, if 416 is right, Santa delivered some people hentai gifts for Christmas, so I'm…currently processing that."

"Understandable." 45 sighed. The house fire had nearly blown their cover, not to mention nearly killed a family. It was only through 416's quick thinking and 45's hacking that they managed to save the family and keep emergency services from discovering them. Of course, both she and 416 chewed out G11 for causing the avoidable situation. The sniper was curled up in the back once more, clutching her pillow for protection.

416, meanwhile, hadn't said a word since. She just silently sat at the front of the sleigh, holding the reins and occasionally eating a cookie. 9 was sitting to her left, also quiet. Wayne and Lenny had long since learned that staying out of 404's conversations was the best plan, and their only interaction with any of them was to pass 416 more cookies.

Currently, they were flying over the North Atlantic on the way to North America. The time was still 12:30 AM, which 45 ascribed to the "Christmas magic".

Magic. She could still barely believe it was real. The very concept was absurd, yet the evidence was now plain for her to see. So far it had helped them greatly, yet 45 wanted to explore further. She wanted to try and manipulate the magic, control it, and make it work towards her own ends. The applications were potential limitless, yet 45 knew it would take time.

Well, once we pull this plan off, we will have plenty of time to experiment.

45 settled deeper into her seat to the right of 416. Today was going to be busy, so no need to get anxious over the future right now. She might as well get some rest.

"Attention unidentified aircraft, this is Jester 2-1. Please identify, over."

45 shot up and looked at the sleigh's controls. The built-in radio was receiving a transmission.

"Attention unidentified aircraft, this is Jester 2-1. Please identify, over."

"Scheisse! 45, what now?" 416 looked over at 45, finally speaking up.

"Hang on, they may not be talking about us."

"Attention unidentified aircraft off the tip of Greenland, this is USAF military flight callsign Jester 2-1. You are entering restricted airspace. Please identify, over."

"Okay, they are talking about us."

"So what do we do about it?" 416's voice awoke 9 out of her stupor.

"One second." 45 turned towards the back seat. "Hey, Wayne, did Magee mention what we were supposed to do if we got intercepted?" Wayne looked up, confused.

"Intercepted?"

"Yes, intercepted. American fighters are asking what we are doing in restricted airspace."

"I don't know." Wayne shrugged. "I never heard about this happening before, and Magee said we shouldn't change the route."

"Well, we can't just keep going, they'll shoot us down." 9 turned to 45. "Can't you just call them over the radio and talk them down."

"Nein, we are supposed to not be found out, remember? Let me think." 45 began rubbing her chin with one hand as she mulled the possibilities. Meanwhile, G11 chose this moment to join the conversation.

"What's the emergency now?"

"The stupid Americans are trying to intercept us." 416 called back. She took another bite out of the cookie.

"Huh? They can't do that! Nobody's ever caught Santa's sleigh before." G11 leaned into the front seat.

"There's a first time for everything, G11." 9 seemed to slump over. 45 realized that the night must have been tough for her. Between saving Helian, dragging the family out of the fire, and running interference between her and 416, 9 was likely exhausted. 45 reached over and gave her sister's shoulder a shake

"C'mon, 9, you think I'm gonna let some fighter jocks take us down?" 45 gave her signature grin, this time with some actual warmth. 9 smiled back.

"True. You already have a plan then?"

"Of course!" 45 pointed out towards the reindeer. "416, get us moving as fast as you can."

Everyone stared at 45 with dumbstruck looks on their faces.

"You…want to outrun them." 416 spoke first.

"Yes. Go on."

"You want to outrun military fighter jets…with reindeer." 416 facepalmed once more.

"Magic reindeer, 416." 416 raised an eyebrow. "Think about it. In order to hit all the houses in one night, the sleigh has to travel at extreme speeds, right? It doesn't feel like it, but that's because of the magic. If we go full speed, there's no way they can catch us." 45 leaned back, satisfied with her explanation.

"I guess you have a point." 416 sighed and closed her eyes.

"It makes sense to me," Wayne pipped up from the back.

"That settles it. 416, full ahead!"

"Ah, fuck it, why not?" 416 flicked the reins and the sleigh rocketed forward with a sudden burst of speed. The wind rushed past the group's faces, pushing them back in their seats

"WOOOOOHOOOOO!" 9 threw her hands up like it was a roller coaster. "ISN'T THIS FUN?!"

"Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaah.." G11 gave a much less unenthusiastic moan from the back seat. The elves gave much louder yells. Even 416 gave a rare smile.

45 stretched, satisfied the crisis was solved and they were well on their way. She took a glance out at the clouds, trying to pick out designs in their shapes-

Only to be greeted with the sight of a massive jet not 30 meters away.

"SCHEISSE! 416, TURN LEFT NOW!" 45 grabbed her grenadier's arm, drawing her attention to the danger. 416 yanked on the reins, trying to escape the American fighter. However, the lumber metal beast easily matched their course and speed, staying alongside the sigh.

"Gottverdammt! The magic isn't working like you said, 45." 416 was once again furious.

"I took a calculated risk okay!" 45 looked around frantically for anything she could use to change their situation.

"Well, you sure are bad at math." 416 had seemingly decided to use her last few moments to spite her team leader.

"Uhh, there's another one behind us!" G11 yelled as she clutched her pillow tight to her chest.

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Lenny started crying in the back seat.

"Unidentified aircraft, this is Jester 2-1. If you can hear us, acknowledge this transmission and identify. You are in restricted airspace. Respond, over!"

"Shit, they're gonna shoot us down. What do we do, 45?" 9 gripped the rail in front of her tight.

"H-hold on, maybe we can talk them down now?" 45 keyed the radio, hoping that there was still time to save the situation.

"Jester 2-1, this is Jingle Bell, how copy, over?"

"MAGEE!" Lenny and Wayne lit up. "WE'RE SAVED!"

45 turned to yell at them to stay quiet, but another message filled the radio.

"Jingle Bell, Jester 2-1, reading you loud and clear. Pear Tree appears to be having mechanical issues. They are flying erratically and not responding to hails, over."

The pilots know who we are? 404 collectively shared a look on confusion.

"Jester 2-1, Jingle Bell. Our readings on Pear Tree show it is fine. We got someone new flying the sleigh, so they might not be aware of the situation, over."

"Say again, someone new, over?"

"Roger. Big Man is currently sick, so we called in a backup team. Callsign is 404, over."

"Okay, what's going on here?" 416 kept looking between the two jets, as if expecting them to open fire.

"For once, I have no clue." 45 cued the radio "404 to Jingle Bell. Who are these guys, over?"

"404, those are representatives from North American Aerospace Defense Command. They escort Santa into North American airspace every year. It's tradition, over."

"404, Jester 2-1, sorry about the confusion. On behalf of everyone at NORAD, we wish you a very Merry Christmas and a safe flight. Jester 2-1 out." Both jets blanked up and away into the sky, leaving the group collectively stunned.

Suddenly, 9 broke out laughing. She completely doubled over in her seat, as if someone just told her the funniest joke she ever heard.

"9, I swear if you've lost it, I'm chucking you out of this sleigh." 416 was not in the mood for bullshit after the events of the last 10 minutes.

"S-sorry, 416." 9 wiped her eyes. "It just suddenly makes sense."

"What makes sense?"

"The NORAD Santa tracker!"

AN: I guess you can say it's Christmas in July.

...

I'll see myself out.

Bad jokes aside, we've officially hit the halfway point of this fic. This chapter took a while to put out, and I attribute that to a lack of a firm plan going into it. There was also the Faded Glory oneshot, summer courses, and some vacations mixed in there. I can't promise when the next chapter will be out, but I'm hoping to get it out quicker.

This chapter featured a guest appearance from Ekiro, the admin on the GFL fanfic server. That's for stealing all the gacha luck in the summer banner Eki!

Thank you Branded for volunteering to beta, and thank you readers for taking some time to read this. I hope you found it worthwhile.

Link to GFL fanfiction discord where you can come chat with me and other GFL fanfic authors: discord . gg / 4pTJbbSKR5 (Remove the spaces. This is a permanent link this time so it should work forever)

See you next chapter!