I failed a major course and am drowning myself in misery so this chapter is for some comfort.

Though I did have to include some conflict ;)

The woman sitting behind the counter sighs even before Gakushuu manages to say anything. He only just entered the building. Maybe she saw him through the glass door, talking to the students or maybe she guessed from the school uniform. Still, her obdurate tone startles him: "I'm sorry, but I already told your friends that visits are not allowed."

He takes a second to compose himself and pulls out his ID: "My name is Asano Gakushuu. I'm here to visit my younger brother Akabane Karma. May I know which room he's in?"

The moment she hears his name and sees the card, her eyes widen. It's almost comical how the woman mumbles a flustered "of course," and frantically types into her computer. It's not anything he's not used to – people losing their composure upon learning his name and recognizing it from the news about either his own achievements or his father's - but the context right now leaves a nasty taste in his mouth. To think his father would shamelessly use his connections to do anything, to cut Karma off from everyone except them...

It's almost desperate.

A moment later Gakushuu receives the room number and instructions on how to get there.

He takes an elevator. The number of visitors and patients in that one closed space almost makes him regret the choice but then again, eight floors are not something he wants to climb. Not that he couldn't, it'd be nothing but a breeze for him normally, but currently, his head slightly spun when he moved too abruptly. He's alright though, despite his classmates fussing over him and insisting he may have a concussion.

Obviously, his father is strong enough to give him one but Gakushuu has had his fair share of such injuries (from all the sports he did, his father never raised a hand against him... until now) so he knows what they feel as well as look like. Apart from that, the school nurse already checked up on him and didn't notice anything out of the ordinary except for the bruise blooming on his cheek... and the teary-eyed girls of his class standing outside of the door... and the virtuosos not leaving his side for a single second. But anyway, no, eight floors weren't on his to-do list today.

The elevator door makes a soft ping before it opens. Gakushuu's the only one from the plenty of visitors who steps out. And if that wasn't peculiar enough, the sudden change of interior, the much more elegant furniture and cleaner look in comparison to other floors makes him realize that maybe, he's not headed to the usual hospital wing.

He walks straight ahead. There's not even a soul in the hallway and the only thing he hears are his own footsteps. It's almost scary how quiet it is until it isn't – from the very door he was about to enter, he hears a crash and a groan and that's enough to put him on alert.

Without hesitation, he swings the door open: "Karma! What's wrong?!"

His gaze immediately lands on the redhead sitting on the floor, hunched with an IV drip collapsed under him. Gakushuu runs to his brother and immediately picks him up on the bed. One arm holding the boy's shoulder to support him, he brushes the loose strands of hair out of Karma's face with the other one to get a clearer view of him: "Are you okay? What happened?"

Karma immediately swats his fingers away but the movement is weak and sluggish, which does nothing to reassure him.

"Nothing. I slipped."

Something about the tone is wrong. Gakushuu halts and takes in the scene in front of him properly.

Karma's wearing his clothes. He's still in that bloody white shirt and uniform instead of a hospital gown. The IV pole still lays on the floor but so does the IV catheter and needle. From what Gakushuu remembers, the position that he found his younger brother in after the fall didn't look enough to actually pull it out. Also, he was fairly far from the bed. What was he doing that far from his bed?

The realisation dawns on him immediately.

"Were you trying to leave?!" Gakushuu tightens his grip instinctively. Of course he wasn't still wearing his uniform, he just changed into it. Of course he pulled the IV out himself and then used the pole for support to walk toward the door. And of course that dipshit overestimated himself and ended up crumbling on the ground. God, Gakushuu would slap him if he could. "You're injured, where were you going?!"

Karma jumps on the defence right away: "Out! I'm not gonna let myself be locked up here by the chairman!"

So he knew. Did the staff tell him? No, he doubts that. Did the class E get ahold of him by phone? Then why were they so desperate when he met them down there at the entrance?

Whatever. First, he needs to calm the redhead down.

"Right. I'll get you out, but you need to get some rest first. How do you feel?" Gakushuu starts to pry the jacket off of his shoulders and slowly manages to do so, although with some resistance from the boy. He immediately notes the languidness once again as Karma takes longer than usual to react.

"They sedated me. I can't move properly, that's why I fell," he responds finally and there's a hint of petulance in his tone.

So he's just medicated. Okay, that's at least some relief.

"Anything else?" Gakushuu plops a pillow behind the boy's back and gently pushes him back down on the bed. Thankfully, Karma doesn't fight it.

"I'm fine. Just bruises and cuts, the usual," his brother answers, strangely pliant. The strawberry blond runs his fingers through Karma's hair, revealing a cut just below his hairline. There are thin blue threads lacing it and Gakushuu stares at them intently, his insides near boiling.

"It's just a few stitches," the redhead remarks after a while. "Stop looking like I'm dying,"

"I'm not," he denies, clicking his tongue. "But you did give me a scare there."

He really did. Gakushuu's head still lingers on the scene from earlier today and it makes his limbs buzz uncomfortably. He's sure if he actually stretched his hand out and looked at his fingers, they'd be trembling just the same as hours before.

There are few things that can ever affect him this much, but the combination of their secret being found out, the sight of his little brother getting attacked and then the chairman...

In a week or so, your brother will be returning to our family

His heart starts racing again. He came here to let Karma know about the principal's plan, to find a way to stop it, but his lips won't move. The golden eyes staring right back at him really do remind him of their mother and as shameful as this admission feels to Gakushuu, he misses her.

No. Not just her. He misses having a family.

What's worse, he might be the only one. Karma isn't the same lonely child he used to be anymore. His class changed him, Gakushuu could see it every day in each interaction they shared. His brother didn't just grow up to be more confident and happy in the last few months, he also no longer depended on Gakushuu for anything that much anymore. There were others he could rely on and be himself around. He found family beyond just the two of them.

Gakushuu didn't have that. To Gakushuu, Karma was everything.

And if Karma were to cut them off in order to protect himself from their father's plans, Gakushuu would be completely on his own.

This thought has been haunting him ever since he left the chairman's office. The image of the redhead turning his back on him and walking away because he didn't need him anymore. Because their ties proved to mostly weigh him down. On one hand, he would understand and support the decision because, in the end, all he wants is for Karma to find his own path to happiness.

On the other hand, that would absolutely break him.

It's breaking him now.

"Gakushuu?" Karma notices the change in mood.

The clear concern in his voice becomes too much for Gakushuu to bear. He feels so tired and this exhaustion reaches far beyond physical, far beyond the fight or the slap he received. He's been holding it together for so long, throughout the conversation he had with his father, through the speech he gave his classmates in his class, and even downstairs when he met the E-class. Gakushuu grew up locking up his feelings, suppressing them so effectively one could say they never existed in the first place. But even years of perfecting his mask of fortitude crumbled in the face of his younger brother.

It happens before he even realizes it. The air he breathes in turns thick and it does nothing to fill his lungs no matter how hard he tries. Soon, it hitches and he breaks into a stifled sob. Gakushuu's horrified by the sound that comes out of him but he can't stop it, neither can he stop the violent tremors coursing through his body.

Karma's the first one to move. He pulls the strawberry blond into a bear hug and wraps his arms firmly around his head, his neck and shoulders. The pressure grounds him and so does the warmth. Yet as comforting and dear as the contact is, Gakushuu can't seem to stop the tears from pouring out of his eyes.

He doesn't remember the last time he cried. Not even as a child.

It terrifies him - the fact that he's been pushed to this point, that he has so much in reserve to get out of his system. Every time he thinks he's done, it only takes a second of silence for the boy to begin sobbing anew.

"Hey," Karma whispers while drawing circles on his back, "You're okay. I don't know if anything else happened but whatever it is, we've got this."

There's no chance in hell that he'd be able to make a coherent sentence so he doesn't even attempt to answer. And despite the kind words, even as he's being soothed by the redhead, all he fears is that once again he's burdening Karma. Isn't that the only thing he's been doing lately? Worrying him with all the lows and all the near break-downs that Gakushuu has been experiencing? How much more until it's too much? How much more until his brother realizes he doesn't need to deal with the broken mess that he is?

"Gakushuu," Karma calls out upon realizing that the strawberry blond's sobs only intensified. He receives no reply.

"Gaku-nii," he tries again, this time more urgently. He hasn't called him that in so long. Why was it making him so emotional?

"You're worrying me. I know I'm- I'm not the best at this but you can talk to me. What's wrong?"

He really wants to but his mind is overwhelmed with doubt. All he needs right now is just this. Just holding on to someone and not having to pretend he's got everything together, that he's invincible. Because he's not. He's just a human, just a normal person with feelings like any other and even he needs help sometimes.

Just for a moment, he needs to be allowed to give in and to absolutely and utterly crumble.

"Just-" he starts but his voice cracks immediately, "a minute." he manages to croak out. Karma thankfully understands.

The hold around him tightens once more. With the help of his younger brother, he gradually shifts further toward the bed until his whole upper body's sunken into the mattress and both of them are just laying there clutching onto each other. The position could be described as anything but cozy, nevertheless, it's a hundred times more preferable to being alone.

After a few minutes of silence, Gakushuu starts to regain some sense. His lungs work properly at last and the heaviness in his chest dissipates, finally leaving room for him to say what he wants.

"I can't feel my legs," he tests the grounds and upon realizing he no longer sounds like an asthmatic frog, continues: "Karma, I'm fine now. You can let go,"

He tries to wiggle himself out but the redhead doesn't let him: "What? No. Like heck I'm gonna let you go. The fuck was that?"

Now it's getting difficult to breathe again, though for a different reason. Despite looking quite scrawny, Karma somehow packed enough brute strength to incapacitate a grown man. And right now, he was using that strength to drag Gakushuu further into bed. Didn't that idiot have injuries? Didn't they hurt when he did that?!

"No, stop-" he protests but finds himself hauled like a plush toy anyway. "Karma, aren't you injured? Shouldn't you literally be laying still?"

"Cuts and bruises, nothing I can't take," he retorts, but there are beads of sweat forming on his temples.

"Do those bruises entail bruised rips too?" the strawberry blond asks cynically. "Karma, you're in pain. Let go of me."

The boy takes a glimpse at the latter, conflict written all over his face. He loosens the hold a bit but doesn't let go completely. "What happened?" he demands again. "After I left. Did the chairman do something to you? This-" he points at the wound dressing on his left cheek. "Did he hit you?!"

The strawberry blond contemplates his answer. He doesn't want to confess that it was their father... that would make everything worse. Karma would flip out. He'd storm out of here and pick a fight with the man the moment he met him and there would never be a chance of reconciling.

Reconciling? Is that what he wanted?

The exhaustion must really be wearing him down to even think something that outrageous.

"I'm just so drained," he skillfully averts the question, "The stress from exams piled up. Then today. You getting hurt. By my class not to mention. The chairman losing his damn mind. It just all became too much. I'm sorry for scaring you. I just..." he trails off, closing his eyes. "It was too much."

He's not lying. He's not saying the whole truth either but at least he's not lying.

"It's okay. I get it," Karma nods, "Just wish you would give me some warning before," he jokes.

"What do you expect from me? A sign saying 'I'm going to cry'? I didn't exactly plan this!"

"Excuses. You're always prepared for any occasion and plan every single minute of your day. I bet if I go through your journal, crying your eyes out like a baby in my arms at 15:48 would definitely be written there."

"Brat," Gakushuu huffs, flicking the younger one's nose, "Have some respect for your elders."

Karma rubs it in discontent and tugs his hand away from under Gakushuu in order to attempt the same thing. The strawberry blond reacts faster though and manages to catch the fingers before they make contact.

"Not fun," the redhead pouts. "You look like you need some flicking too."

Maybe he really does. It's still difficult to keep his mind in the moment and even as Karma looks at him with those soft eyes, they only remind him of why he doesn't deserve this.

"Well? Where did you get this from?" the boy suddenly beckons to his cheek, eyes intently looking for any clues.

Gakushuu really doesn't want to lie. He's still not sure about what he wants to do so he once again finds a way around it: "What do you think? Where did you get yours from?" he points at the stitched cut on his forehead. "And this? And that one?" he keeps pointing out the injuries.

The younger boy tries to read into his expression but unfortunately for him, Gakushuu has long calmed down and put on his stoic, controlled mask. Of course, Karma knew him well enough to see through most of his masks but right now, the boy's senses weren't the sharpest due to being medicated. And more importantly, Gakushuu was too desperate to maintain the peace.

"Don't be a smartass," in the end, Karma rolls his eyes.

"Can't help it. I am smart," Gakushuu counters.

The latter then grins mischievously: "And I'm smarter. I beat you at the exams,"

"One time. Pure coincidence. Means nothing."

"I beaat youuu~" the boy sings, "And my class beat yours!"

One could mistake those words for mockery but Karma's face shines in genuine delight and pride. It's more like witnessing a child accomplish something and then showing it to their parent (or older sibling in this case) with a wide smile, waiting to be praised. It's been a while since he last directed such expectations and adoration to his older brother so Gakushuu knows to appreciate it.

He chuckles at the sight. Even if it meant he lost, even if he was frustrated and quite honestly conflicted, when this one person beamed like that, it almost didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered, as long as Karma was alright and happy.

Yes. Isn't that what he had decided on a long time ago? That his own selfish desires wouldn't stand in the way of his little brother? That he'd protect him?

Seriously, how could he forget that?

"After you left, the chairman and I talked," he starts, alerting Karma, "turns out he began your adoption process behind our backs. He wants to gain custody of you and transfer you to class A again. He said as long as it's an A-class student and Asano at the top, the rest doesn't matter."

"What?" the boy demands with widened eyes, "What?!" he sits up abruptly.

"He knows about the Akabanes, about mother leaving you behind in Japan. He wants to use it for his case in the court,"

"For what?! Just so that he can uphold the school's reputation?!" his brother stares in disbelief. "I know he's obsessed about his teaching philosophy but would he seriously go that far just for that?!"

Gakushuu grits his teeth. As messed up as the chairman's methods were, he knows that his father's reasons extended well beyond that.

Do you think I would keep those kinds of memories of someone I felt indifferent about?

Well beyond reputation, far deeper than a mere desire to win. The cracks in his father's mask grew bigger and bigger throughout the day and the sharp edges around them softened with each mention of the past. Had someone told him just weeks back that his father would ever display any kind of human emotion, let alone longing, he'd scoff at the idea and shut it down completely. But briefly, before his father snapped and struck him, Gakushuu saw it on the man's face.

"He wants you back in the family," he declares at last. The words taste strange on his tongue yet that's all he can settle on.

Karma bewildered expression says it all. He looks like he's going to sign Gakushuu up for the main role in a circus or register him as a top comedian for a tv show. Heck, he'd do it himself, were it not for the fact that he actually meant it.

"That's a bad joke," his brother sneers.

"I'm serious," he retorts.

"Did Gaku-nii hit his head? This seems bad. Nurse? Nurse!" he starts calling toward the door but Gakushuu covers his mouth and redirects his attention to himself again.

"It's as shocking to me as it is to you but I'm fairly sure. He told me about you. Us. As children. The way he talked about it..."

Karma's expression darkens at that: "So what? Suddenly he wants to be a father to us? He's never been a good father to you, has he? But you suddenly believe him because, what, he said some nostalgic shit?"

Of course he would react like this. He had every right to be sceptical. Yet for some reason, Gakushuu gets defensive: "He's a monster by normal standards, a terrible father, yes, but he does care about our futures. Isn't that literally why he came up with this whole system?"

"Are you defending him?" Karma hammers the question, voice cold.

"I'm not-"

"You are. You're literally excusing his methods as well as everything he's done to you. I know how much you've had to overwork and stress yourself because of all the expectations he puts on you, I know he never helped or listened to any of your concerns. Like fuck I'll believe he did everything 'for us' or 'our future'! Why are you defending him?!"

"Because what else is there left for me to do!" the strawberry blond yells back, misery gnawing at him. "Who do I have left if not him and you? I'm not like you, Karma, I don't have anyone else! And when you leave, where else am I supposed to fall back to?!"

"What?" taken aback by those words, the redhead deflates.

Gakushuu pauses in horror. No. This is exactly what he wanted to avoid. He decided, right? Karma came first. Karma always came first. So why was he suddenly saying all of this?

"Nothing. Sorry. Forget it," he avoids the latter's gaze. "It doesn't matter."

"No, it does matter. What do you mean by that?" his brother presses. "Why would I leave?"

"Let's forget it, Karma. I get your point. We'll find a way to stop him," Gakushuu collects himself and returns back to his seat. His cheeks are on fire from the unintended revelation and he has no desire to disgrace himself any further.

"I'll try to get more information about the process and maybe get the chairman to talk. From what I've read so far, your opinion on the matter should count for something too, usually submitting a written statement-"

"Hold on, let's leave that for later. Explain what you meant by-"

"A written statement, sometimes a private interview with the jury works as well. I should be able to find out who's responsible for your case by tomorrow. Until then, prepare for the-"

Before he can finish, Karma roughly grabs him by the face: "Stop, stop it," he commands, though there's little authority in the voice, rather a plea. "I don't care about that right now. What's going on with you?"

Burning. His face is burning from humiliation and Karma's eyes burn him with concern. Gakushuu refuses to cry again but he's close, so close every fibre in his body screams at him to run away. His facade keeps slipping with every second the Karma stares into his soul and he's convinced that the latter's got him read like an open book by now.

"It's too selfish of me," he mutters, "I shouldn't burden you any more than this."

"How are you burdening me? What's going on? It's just not being tired. Something's seriously up with you," the redhead speaks softly, "Tell me,"

And maybe he shouldn't, but heavens know Gakushuu is too weak now. All it needs is one push and he'll spill, spill like a boiling kettle that's been overfilled with stresses, fears - of the new, of the unknown. His world till now and his life has been deconstructed in a matter of a few weeks and now he was lost in this new place. Lost and all alone.

He shouldn't but he spills it all anyway.

"All I do is worry you and make you pick up the pieces of me," the strawberry blond whispers and all of sudden, it's like a dam that has been breached. "My worth has always been based on my success, the people around me were mere pawns to use in order to achieve my goals. It may not have been a happy way of living, but it was a safe one, with father's approval and support. But now my academic scores mean nothing. I can't even lead my class properly. I have no friends I can trust the way you trust yours. Father's gone mad trying to salvage any semblance of the past and you- you deserve to lead a life with the people who raise you up. I'm not one of those people. These last few weeks, I've only been dragging you down with my selfish desires and selfish problems. I've become shit of an older brother. And I would completely understand if you rejected the idea of us becoming a family."

The words ring loudly in Karma's head. He's barely breathing as he takes them in, his mind working twice as fast as normal to even comprehend his brother's thought process. It was ridiculous. This made no sense.

"I'd never reject you," he starts, still shaken up. "I'd never see you as a burden or selfish in the first place. Gakushuu, what the fuck? You've been here for me my whole life and suddenly when you need to lean on me a few times, that's selfish? What the actual fuck?!"

"I should be better than this," the older boy protests, "This is pathetic. But I'll sort myself out. You focus on-"

"Nothing is more important to me than you," Karma declares and the adamancy stops Gakushuu in his tracks. "Sure, you're right about me trusting and treasuring my friends, no doubt. But you're different. How could you ever think I'd leave? If shit hit the fan, I'm staying with you, even if it means letting the chairman win custody over me. I'd fucking hate it but I'd find a way out anyway. As long as it's the two of us, we will always find a way. But only if it's both of us."

With that, he lets go of Gakushuu's face. The older boy gapes in disbelief but slowly, the meaning behind that statement starts to sink in and he bites the inside of his cheeks, barely able to hold back the tears. Still, Karma doesn't relent:

"And yeah, maybe you don't have the same friendships yet but you're literally just at the starting line. Your environment didn't allow you to form any real relationships until, what, today? The chairman's not the only one you have. Neither am I. Stop putting yourself down like this. You've been putting me before yourself all this time too, Gakushuu. Stop. Be more selfish. What happened to the self-centered asshole I know?" He attempts a joke.

It doesn't land, only earns him a punch in the arm. But that's fine too, because Gakushuu's frame relaxes at least a small bit and there's less anguish painted all over his face. Telling Karma the doubts and the depressive thoughts he's been simmering in helped immensely, if not for the fact that he received unconditional support back.

Be more selfish

He probably should. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to for once take care of himself first.

"You're an idiot," he manages to say before the tears stroll down his cheeks. "Such an idiot, really. I hate you so much," he chuckles, wiping them away.

"Yeah, yeah. I take after you after all," the redhead rolls his eyes affectionately.

"Thank you," he smiles at the boy, "And I'm sorry. You're right, about everything. I'll pull myself together."

Then, he stands up with determination and straightens his clothes: "Time to get you out of here and ruin father's plans, isn't it?"

Reaching for the extended hand, Karma nods: "Hell yeah."

UFF

Long chapter. 5k!

I know, I know, this was basically just a huge feels dump but hear me out!

I feel like it's only fair to the characters. Despite being geniuses or whatnot, they're still only kids and you have to give it to Asano for holding out for this long. I mean, our boy suffered one loss after another, Karma did become more independent and stayed with his class longer than with him and then all this conflict and the chairman's words? I can't imagine him just shrugging it off like nothing. Even in canon, I always thought that the sudden shift in the system must be incredibly hard to deal with for him, especially coz he's been living in this dog-eat-dog world his whole life.

So yeah, a long, emotional chapter, but one that I wanted to write nevertheless. I hope you liked it and if you didn't, don't hesitate to write suggestions or (constructive) critiques in the reviews!

Next update is on Monday, loves. I may or may not be very low from failing my course but at least I have some free time for this now :)