"You okay?" Ben finally asked after squirming in his seat for a long while.
"Yes," I answered softly, looking out the window in hopes of feeling the blank emptiness I normally felt from watching the scenery blur by outside. I gripped the inhaler firmly in my hand, feeling the plastic ease my pain.
"Rennie seems to really like Rick's family," Ben attempted a conversation after a while of awkward silence.
"They're nice, except… I didn't like Lori," I confessed.
"Oh," Ben tapped the steering wheel nervously. He eventually blurted out: "We never talked about that night."
"It was a drunken mistake," I answered firmly, not wanting to talk more about his confession. "Nothing more."
"Lynnie, I-"
"Stop, please." I winced internally at the choppy conversation. I couldn't do this, though. I'd had enough and I couldn't take this burden with me. That's what love was: a burden.
"Why're they stopping?" Ben stopped the conversation as I wished, instead turning our attention to the freeway overcrowded with cars and our friends stopping in front of us. We got out of the car after sharing a look, shutting the door behind us quietly in case a walker came by. Dale was scowling at the RV which was further unusual. I felt an ill omen sneak by and tried to grab it by the neck and strangle it, but knew it wouldn't work. I wasn't a fool and I was delirious.
"The hose is smoked. We're gonna need to scavenge for something that could help," Ben relayed to me in a hushed tone. I nodded and went rifling through a Subaru. The owner had a dreamcatcher as its little decoration at the front. I stared at it grimly before holding back my snort and rifling through the trunk. I came across an iPod and scrolled through it, interested, only to find country songs on it. This time I couldn't hold back my snort. I walked to the next car, only to get sprayed on. I yelped and batted at the water, trying to see what was going on. Glenn grinned at me sheepishly before handing me a bottle of water.
"Thirsty?"
I rolled my eyes and shoved past him, ignoring the look of hurt surprise flashing across his face. Glenn was another distraction, something that could cost my life. I'd had enough of those mistakes that left me wondering why I was left crawling on the ground, writhing in silent sobs of pain. If I had to be an utter jerk, I would do so. If I had to push everyone away from me to protect my brother, I would do so. I would do anything as long as they were safe.
"What's up with the sudden stick up your ass?" someone jabbed at me as I pushed on ahead through the survivors to stay as far away from Glenn as I could. I spotted a new sketchbook and pens and pencils, stuffing them in my bag. The owner was dead and it would be no use to her. I found a notebook and snagged it too, ignoring everything else. I found a pair of red headphones and put them on, plugging them into a new iPod I'd found with similar music to mine. I hummed in approval as Linkin Park started blasting through my ears. The sun was growing hotter and hotter and I clambered into a Camaro, propping my feet up on the dash and nodding my head in time to the music. I closed my eyes and let the familiar feeling of a video playing flash by my eyes.
In a blink, I was in my dad's car, crinkling my nose in amusement as my dad and my older brother screamed along to the song. "I've become so numb I can't feel you there! Become so tired, so much more aware! I'm becoming this- all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you!" At the next verse, I joined in, knowing the lyrics by heart as we drove into the heart of LA, my violin in the trunk, the apprehension others normally felt before a concert trying in vain to seize my heart. It was a rare moment for my dad to be able to have a break from work, something my mother couldn't do and yet could do. I grinned from the back seat, leaning forward to capture this moment and engrain it into my memories.
The flashback ended soon enough as I felt the car rock side to side. I freed one of my ears from the headset and peeked in the backseat, realizing one of the doors was open in the back. My worst nightmare snarled at me and I slammed one of the knives I had into its head, effectively killing it. The snarling didn't stop and I took off my headphones completely, a cold terror engulfing me as the adrenaline kicked in.
In front of me was a whole mob of the undead, each of them lumbering forwards at a slow but agonizing pace. The walker I'd killed was one of the strays and now the front of the wave was coming forward at a harsh rate. I tried to yank open the driver's door, only to find it jammed. The passenger's side wouldn't work either and I slammed my weight into it over and over, only to find no accomplishments at all. Left with no other choice, I swore before smashing my elbow into the window and clawing my way through it. The glass tore at me as I flopped like a fish while the alarm went off, something that managed to hopefully alert the other survivors while also drawing in the other walkers. I was truly stuck in the window with my backpack below the door and the walkers coming in closer and closer.
Three more lines of cars and I would be done for.
I squirmed frantically, panic and fury overwhelming my senses as I told myself that I refused to die like this. My torso was hanging out, but my hips wouldn't let me through, stuck on my holsters, possibly. It would take too long to undo the holsters, and the walkers were only one or two cars away from me now. I screamed in fury and frustration, not caring about the noise since the car was practically screaming for me.
Footsteps that ran, not shuffled, sounded and I looked to my right to see Rick, ever the hero instead of the dad his son needed, running towards me. His hat was gone and he was frantically waving at me. I swore in a different tongue from English before taking out my gun and blasting open the heads of the walkers who were close enough to try and reach me. It wasn't long before I ran out of ammo, but luckily Rick had already grabbed a hold of me, yanking me out and tearing my leg in the process. We tumbled to the ground but I quickly reloaded with ease and shot at the ones closest to us as he scooped up my pack for me and we ran. He pulled me under a car with him and I huffed for breath, the near-death experience overwhelming me for a moment.
"Thank you," I whispered to the cop next to me.
"Someone did the same for me once," Rick responded quietly. "He would've wanted me to do the same."
All conversation cut off as we heard shuffling and groans approach the car. I shifted for better cover only to hiss in pain as the asphalt rubbed against my open wound. I felt the ground next to my injury and found fresh blood. Couldn't I get a damned break?
The first walker approached and crouched next to me for my blood, Rick's eyes widening in panic. I struck quickly like an asp, killing it in one go, and placed the body so it would cover my side of the car, hopefully covering the scent of blood. I bit one of my clean daggers in my mouth as I grabbed for the whiskey bottle in the side pocket of my bag. Rick caught onto what I was thinking and handed it to me. I braced myself before pouring the whiskey near my leg and on it too so the blood could be overwhelmed with the scent of alcohol. I fought back a scream of pain and agony as my injury burned in response. The crowd quickly passed, thankfully, and I stayed to wait further in case of strays.
Sophia didn't receive the message and I saw her inch out, only to scream at the two walkers surprising her. She ran into the woods and I swore before Rick left the haven to start chasing after her and the two walkers who followed. I tried to follow suit, only for my leg to taunt me. I didn't even make an inch under the car before I stopped even trying to move. Lori grabbed Carol and stopped her from chasing after Sophia as Carl watched in horror, Rennie right beside him. People started crawling out of the hiding spots, shaken and some of them bloody. I closed my eyes for a moment, wondering if I should try and slither out again or just ask for help.
Two pairs of small hands appeared and rolled the walker away from my side. A mop of brown hair appeared with another mop of black hair. Carl and Rennie reached for me under the car, the latter shakier than the former. I grabbed a hold of each of them and they tried to drag me out, succeeding halfway before I whimpered. Glenn appeared and he helped my brother and his friend, dragging me out too, albeit more gently. I groaned in pain as Rennie disappeared under the car again, bringing out my pack and the half-empty whiskey bottle.
"Gimme," I coughed, reaching for the bottle. He hid it behind his back, shaking his head like the supposedly wise little minx he was. "Don't be a brat and give it."
"Ahndwe, (No)," the brat insisted. "Hyung wouldn't want you being an alcoholic."
I groaned at the headache now. "Yeah well, he's not here to bitch about it."
Rennie looked hurt and I regretted the words for a moment before I shoved the guilt down.
"Naenwa. (Give it)"
He stepped further away from me, the golden liquid of relief sloshing behind him.
"Give me the half-empty bottle or I swear-" Pain engulfed my words of threat as Glenn yanked out a piece of glass hesitantly. I groaned as a new pain entered my nervous system, and motioned for the bottle more frantically. The stubborn kid still resisted as Carl wandered over somewhere else. He turned on his heel and smashed the bottle into pieces, leaving a mess of the liquid and glass pieces. I snarled softly, vowing that I would get even with him as Glenn silently tried to wash away the blood near the wound without pouring it on the wound.
His silence aggravated me as I watched his hands meticulously clear the blood away. A familiar but forgotten ache knocked the breath out of me as I watched him care for me so carefully. My hand drifted to the two silver rings that hung from my silver chain with the dog whistle, something that Glenn caught before I could stop.
"Who was the lucky guy?" He asked nonchalantly, his expression still tense as he searched in his pack for something.
"Doesn't matter anymore," I averted my hand as if the necklace had been on fire. I paused before forcing seven words out of my mouth. "He was my partner in many ways."
He sighed, fruitless from his expedition through his bag. He reached for mine with an unanswered question. I simply nodded and he rifled through it. "What was his name?"
A harmless question I could answer. "Jake. Jake Kennedy." A bright smile flashed in my mind as he waved enthusiastically. His badge flashed in my mind and I was reminded of a bright puppy.
"What happened to him?" and just like that, his smile became weak and forced, his sweet lips stained red with his blood as he gagged on it. His ring, the ring that matched mine, was a promise that would never be fulfilled.
"I killed him," I confessed and stared at him as he faltered from wrapping the gash. He looked up at me and I stared back, feeling the familiar empty pit swallowing me up and drowning me. He laid his hand on mine, soft and warm, completely enveloping my small hand. Just like that, I was slowly being led back to the light above the well I was trapped in. Words were unnecessary at that moment as I stared back into his lighter eyes, wondering why this man was sticking to me, healing me. Someone I didn't deserve.
"So you're an angel of death," Glenn joked, wrapping the white bandage around my thigh.
I rolled my eyes, relaxing at his antics. "If I was an angel, I'd be a fallen one."
He snickered as I choked on my own laughter, the momentary coldness gone between us. I would let him in, just for a moment, just so I could feel his warmth melt this cold and dark prison I'd been locked in. Maybe I missed the outside. Rick came back and he searched the camp as if looking for someone. Carol went to him and clung to him, crying. Glenn exchanged looks of horror with me as we realized that Sophia was gone, missing. Just like that, I crawled back into the pit and smashed the bishop on the chessboard.