Hello readers!

I think a story like this needs an author's note, so please bear with me. This is, first and foremost, a rape recovery story. This is the story of how Elena, with Damon's help, heals from a harrowing ordeal. I wrote this partly as therapy for myself, as a sexual assault survivor, with some hope that it might help other survivors process their trauma, as well.

I want to be clear that Damon will absolutely not be abusive to Elena in this story. He's there to help her process her trauma, heal, and do some of his own healing along the way.

I needed Elena to be a happy, carefree girl before the attack, so I kept her parents alive. This is done so that we see the stark change in her personality after the assault, and her journey to regain that part of herself. With that said, there will be a chapter that features the actual assault (trigger warnings will precede it), so I suggest anyone who finds the material too upsetting to simply skip it. The following chapters after that one will focus on the recovery aspect, but they may still be difficult reads.

I always found it a bit unsettling that the Vampire Diaries creative team had Damon and Stefan were lusting after 17-year-olds, so I decided to age our leads up a bit. Instead of Elena being a high school junior, she's a junior in college. This presented the problem of Whitmore being too far from Mystic Falls for Elena and Damon to meet casually, so I decided that it would be interesting to set the tale in 1977 New York City, just like Damon's flashback. Not only would Elena (and Caroline and Bonnie) live in the same city for college, but it would also give me a chance to explore 1970s fashions and music, which is a fun bonus. Mild spoiler: we'll get to see a !PunkElena.

With that said, a lot of the main characters are in this story, but have been aged up and have their dates of birth moved accordingly. For example: Instead of being born on June 22, 1992, Elena is instead born on June 22, 1957 (so that she is 20-years-old when she and Damon meet in the spring before their birthdays). Damon is still born on June 18, 1839, so he's a little younger than in the show, but not so much that it depowers him significantly.

Trigger warnings: sexual assault, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, violence, adult content.

"The first time ever I saw your face

I thought the sun rose in your eyes

And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave

To the dark and the endless skies, my love

To the dark and the endless skies." - The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, Roberta Flack, 1972.

Elena knew that she should not be out alone so late, especially with rumors of a serial killer specifically targeting brunette women but graduating on time required that she complete ninety credits before her next semester, and the Advanced Physiology evening section was the only one left with seats available by the time she was able to register – just like all the other classes. It seems the recent string of murders had the entirety of NYU's student body scared.

While normally this would not have been a problem, since her dormitory was only a short walk away, tonight her Physiology study group insisted on meeting at a coffee shop in the East Village ahead of their exam next week, and this was the only evening she had available.

This meant that her meeting with her boyfriend, Matt, who was visiting her from Mystic Falls for the weekend, had to be pushed to late evening. As expected, they had a fight, their conversation lasting long past the midnight hour, though the bar where they had their quiet altercation was still in full swing. Electing to spend the evening alone, she told him she would catch a taxi back to her dorm.

Matt had, predictably, been reluctant to let her go without an escort, but she assured him that cabs were everywhere in the city, desperate to get away and clear her head.

This was how Elena found herself walking New York City's seldom-desolate streets alone at a quarter to midnight on a particularly balmy March night, looking for a taxi, which chose tonight of all nights to be scarce.

While she was normally a dreamy sort who lived in the land of whimsical fantasies, calculations, and ideals – writing in her diary to sort out her feelings – she suddenly felt a peculiar shift in the air. Not normally one to be attentive to her physical surroundings, Elena was surprised by a strange feeling of something, or someone, approaching. The feeling only magnified as she saw the most beautiful man that she had ever laid eyes on suddenly materialize before her.

"Katherine," he breathed, longing present in his alluring, almost impossibly blue eyes.

Momentarily awed by his presence – he seemed almost ethereal, otherworldly – with perfectly sculpted cheekbones framed by soft, dark locks, which only accentuated the vivid blue of his irises. Embarrassingly, Elena caught herself being suddenly jealous of this "Katherine," who clearly inspired such devotion in this man.

Elena checked to see if anyone was behind her, and when she found no one, she caught him staring into her very soul.

"No, um," she finally managed to find her voice. "I'm Elena."

He looked taken aback at first, and almost disappointed, but then it quickly morphed into apparent curiosity. "Oh. You… you just look…" he trailed off before composing himself. "I'm sorry. You just really remind me of someone. I'm Damon."

"Not to be rude or anything, Damon, but it's kind of creepy that you're out here in the middle of the night."

"You're one to talk. You're out here all by yourself." He seemed amused.

"It's New York City. No one's ever really alone," she smiled, feeling the beginning of a connection that she couldn't explain.

"Got into a fight with my boyfriend," Elena offered, not entirely sure why she felt so comfortable opening up to this man, but there was something mysterious, almost supernatural about him that drew her.

She wanted to know him, and she wanted him to know her.

"About what? May I ask." He raised his hands placatingly to show that he was merely curious, not judging.

"Life. Future. He's got it all mapped out."

"And you don't want it?"

"I don't know what I want."

"Well, that's not true. You want what everybody wants."

"What, mysterious stranger who has all the answers?"

He smiled in a way that lit up his entire face, glancing off to the side as though laughing at a private joke, before piercing her with his gaze again. "Well, let's just say that I've been around a long time. I've learned a few things."

"So, Damon, tell me. What is it that I want?" She was flirting unabashedly, despite her best efforts not to.

Noticing her boldness wrapped in innocence, he took a step closer, gazing deep into her brown eyes. "You want a love that consumes you. You want passion, and adventure, and even a little danger."

Elena took a sharp intake of breath, feeling remarkably seen and transparent. It should have unsettled her, and perhaps it did, but she felt an immediate connection to this stranger who seemed to understand her so profoundly only after a few minutes. She stayed silent for a few long moments, trying to collect herself. "So, what do you want?"

Damon was clearly taken aback by her response, as though it was the last thing he expected. He tilted his head to the side, studying her, a softness and vulnerability appearing in his brilliant blue gaze that left her breathless. The corners of his lips began to curl in a genuine smile that lit his face. If Elena found his previous smirk attractive, his smile melted her heart. He opened his mouth to speak, when he was interrupted by a scream in the distance.

"I want you to get everything you're looking for, but now, I just want to make sure you get home safe. Allow me to walk you?" He offered his arm for her to take, armor firmly in place, wielding his smirk with dangerous precision.

"It's 1977, Damon," Elena grinned impishly at his suggestion, but took his arm regardless. "I'm an independent woman who can look after herself! Tough and strong." She flexed her bicep in playful demonstration.

"How do you know it's for you? Maybe I'm the one who needs your protection."

"Well, in that case, allow me to be your knight in shining armor."

"And where does my gallant protector live?"

"I'm at the dorms in NYU – rounding out my junior year!"

"I've always had a thing for college girls," he grinned suggestively, in a manner she likely would have found off-putting on anyone else, but he managed to make it look playful and charming. "Maybe you can give me a private lesson later. What are you studying?"

She struggled to look annoyed with his innuendo as they strolled through the near-deserted streets in perfect synchrony, barely managing to hide the smile tugging at her lips with the subtlety of a tornado. "Pre-med."

His narrowed his eyes in a manner that made them smoulder, and she expected him to take the innuendo in the obvious direction, but to his credit, he didn't. "A doctor? You must be pretty smart."

"I do okay," she grinned, feeling confident enough to allow her intelligence to speak for itself.

"Why doctor?"

She bit her lip, an adorable blush staining her cheeks that could only be seen by enhanced vampiric vision in the still of the night. "I want to help people, to heal them, save them," she ardently announced, her warm, brown eyes alight with wonder. "My father was the town doctor where I grew up, and I was always so inspired by the way he helped our neighbors be better. I want to do that someday."

Damon would have laughed at her idealism if a small part of him didn't find it so endearing. It amazed him how despite being an exact replica of Katherine, she could be so different, and it became obvious within minutes of actually speaking with her. Her wide, open gaze, genuine smiles, and delicate teasing tugged at a part of him he had long and stubbornly buried.

The very thought elicited waves of concern to flood his being, since he was fairly certain his humanity switch should be off. Waving the passing feeling off as a fluke, he let himself continue enjoying walking the curious girl home. He was having fun, after all, and that's all that mattered.

Forgetting all about her taxi, Elena allowed Damon to walk her home. While she would have normally been aghast at such blatantly careless behavior, especially in light of the recent murders of young women fitting her description, she felt utterly at ease with Damon.

She would later attribute it to a feeling of temporary insanity, but for now, she wanted to indulge in the first engaging conversation she had in a while, with a mysterious and handsome stranger who almost seemed to see right through her.

All too soon, they reached their destination, and Damon was surprised to find himself disappointed. He was even more surprised by a desire to see her again as he watched her disappear into the building that held her dorm.

He was quick to shake off the feeling however, tugging the stubborn switch back into position. The night was young, and he wanted to feed.

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