9
What did he even hope to achieve, by kissing her?
That she would kiss him back? Tell him she wants him? Misses him? Has been thinking about him nonstop since that night in the hotel? Did he expect her to leave Chris for him? Yeah. Maybe he was hoping for all of that.
How in the world was one night enough to mess him up so much? How was one night enough to hook him on her so bad?
But no, it wasn't one night, was it? It was what followed after it, too. Because they may have not had the chance to see each other face to face again, but they did talk. They exchanged phone numbers for a reason.
Well, if what happened in Alcatraz didn't break my back, what happened in the hotel sure did.
It was what he sent her first thing in the morning when he woke up, and the bed sheets still smelled like her.
Her response came shortly after.
Boohoo
Someone struggling to get out of bed this morning?
Maybe. Could use some help.
Sure.
You can close your eyes and imagine me there. Does that help you get up?
It helps get something up. Yeah.
Her next response wasn't a text, though, it was a call, and Leon took it before he could even think.
"Hey, pretty boy," Jill said in that playful, teasing voice of hers. "How was your night?"
"Never better," Leon sat up on the bed, propping up pillows behind him to lean on. "What about you?"
She hummed, as though in deep thought. "I don't know. It feels like the kinda thing I gotta do a few more times before I can judge."
Leon couldn't help a chuckle. "Yeah? I thought once was enough to know I liked it."
"Next thing you're gonna tell me you believe in love at first sight?"
"Maybe not at first sight," Leon said. "But definitely at first surviving yet another bioterrorist attack together."
"Uh-huh," Jill said. "Because we make a good team?"
"A great team." He laughed. "What are you up to today?"
"I just arrived at HQ," Jill said. "After Alcatraz, I'm afraid we've got lots of reports to write."
"And here I was planning on extending my stay a while longer," Leon said. "Thought we'd actually go out to eat together. You know, make up for that dinner I owe you."
"You don't owe me any dinners anymore," Jill said. "But I'm also not gonna say no to a free meal. You're paying, right?"
Leon chuckled. "Of course."
"I'll be in my office all day," Jill said. "I take my lunch break around eleven. Does that work?"
"It works," Leon said. "I'll see you then."
"See ya!"
But he didn't see her.
He got a call from the DSO before he could fall back asleep to get more rest, and he was asked to report immediately. He didn't even get the chance to call her and tell her about it. He only managed to send her a text around twelve. And he felt so bad about it, he tried his best to keep consistent contact with her, just so she didn't think he lost interest, just so she didn't think he didn't care, just so she didn't think it was a one-night stand. Because to him it was anything but.
He couldn't talk to her every single day, but over the following weeks, he tried to be as communicative as possible. And he enjoyed it. Enjoyed their banter. A lot, actually. And Leon found himself thinking more and more about her, even when they weren't talking.
Until he caught himself one day, after one of their phone calls. Heart racing from the mere memory of her. Her lips. Her eyes. Her nose. Her hair. Overcome by a strong want to touch her. Feel her. And even when he closed his eyes and imagined her there, on top of him, hips joined and moving in sync. Even with his hand trying to recreate the feel of her around him, the payoff just wasn't as satisfying.
And that was when a question popped in his head.
What the hell was happening to him? Why was he thinking about her as much as he did? Why was he enjoying talking to her as much as he did? Why was he longing for her in every waking moment?
These were dangerous territories. Ones he never intended to cross. Ones he wasn't sure he should have crossed. And then whenever her name popped up on the screen of his phone with a new text, an overwhelming mix of emotions overcame him. Fear and excitement. Doubts and wants. Reluctance and longing.
He wanted her so much, it scared him. Because the last time he remembered wanting someone so bad was… Ada. And the wound that Ada left him with never quite healed. No matter how many bandages he wrapped around it.
But Jill wasn't Ada, was she?
"…eon? Are you listening?"
Leon snaps out of his thoughts and stares at Claire across the table from him. They'd gone out to grab lunch not long after he left Jill and Chris to attend their meeting. Claire's idea more than his. He hadn't had breakfast, after all, or even dinner the night before.
"Yeah, what?" Leon says.
Claire's brows pinch. She sets her fork down on her plate. "I was saying thank you, for being here for Sherry."
"You don't have to thank me." Leon shakes his head. His own dish remains mostly untouched, save for the couple bites he took from the steak. "You know she's like family."
"Yeah," Claire says. She reaches for her glass of water and takes a sip. "I can't imagine the DSO's happy that you're here."
He shrugs, leans against the chair and folds his arms. Eyes looking out the window to his right. "If the DSO's not happy, they can file a complaint."
Claire laughs a little. There's the clinking of the cutlery against plate, before she says, "How are things with you?"
Leon sighs. "Fine."
"That doesn't sound fine."
"I'm just worried about Sherry is all."
"Lucky that Jill was out there."
"Lucky indeed."
"How are things with you two?" Claire asks.
"I didn't know there were things with us two." Leon's eyes drift back to Claire, narrow and serious.
"Well." Claire gives him a pointed look. "Last time you got suspended because of her."
"Last time I got suspended because I showed up to work drunk."
"And why were you drunk?"
"Because I went out drinking." He deadpans.
"Leon…"
"Claire, come on, now. What do you want me to say?" His tone is defeated, shoulders slouched. "She's your brother's girlfriend."
Claire frowns. She takes a bite from her salad, swallows. Then her eyes are back on him. "Can I be honest with you?"
"What?"
Claire fiddles with her fork for a moment. Her eyes shy away from his. Her voice almost a whisper. "I saw you."
A lump forms in Leon's throat, and he can't swallow it.
"You and Jill," she says. "Kissing."
Leon's heart sinks to his stomach. She saw them? How is that even—and here he wasn't sure if Rebecca saw anything, but if Claire—
"That night, after we came back from Alcatraz," Claire adds.
Leon's eyes pop as realization settles in. He wants to breathe out in relief. Relief that Claire didn't see what happened in the med bay, but he holds that breath in, and tries to keep a straight face.
"Saw you two driving away together," Claire continues. "I didn't tell Chris… Even though he was really worried about Jill. She wasn't answering his calls. Neither were you."
Leon looks down at his plate. Appetite completely gone. Not that it was there in the first place. "That's how you knew?" When she confronted him about Jill a month ago, just before he went out drinking. It's because she saw them.
"So did she break up with you?"
"No," Leon says. "We didn't get together. It was just a one-time thing."
"Clearly not for you, though."
"Yeah, well… guess I'm not as fun in bed as your brother." Leon jokes, and it earns him a cold stare from Claire.
He doesn't have a clue what to say, or how to say it. He doesn't want to share too much. Doesn't want to violate what little privacy Jill wanted to have about that night. But it probably doesn't help that he looks and sounds so hung up on it still.
"Jill's not on my mind," he tries anyway, "hasn't been for a while. I promise. It's just a lot of other things happening at once."
"With work?" Claire asks.
"Mostly." Leon sighs. "And I can't really talk about that, because it's—"
"Classified, yeah, I know the drill," Claire says. "Sometimes I wonder why you're still with the DSO."
He smiles. "Yeah. Sometimes I wonder that too."
He's just walking back into the med bay with Claire when Jill comes out of Sherry's room in a hurry. He exchanges a concerned look with Claire before the two of them run in her direction.
Jill's tapping on her phone and, in a second, Leon's phone rings in his pocket. Before he can take it out of his pocket, Jill spots them and walks toward them. The ringing stops shortly after she puts her phone away.
"Jill?" Leon calls. "What's going on?"
"Leon!" She stops in front of him, her voice chipper and lively and… excited? "She's awake," she tells him, her hand settling on his arm, gripping tightly. "Sherry's awake—"
He practically zooms past her in a heartbeat, chasing down the hallway and straight into Sherry's room, Claire's footsteps following behind him. There are two medics inside with her, one of them helping her sit up, the other one saying something that Leon can't be bothered to listen to. But she's there, awake and moving.
"Sherry—" he calls.
Sherry's head turns to him instantly. Eyes light up when she sees him. "Leon! Claire?!"
One of the medics steps to the side, allowing the pair to approach.
Leon takes her hand possessively, squeezing. "Are you okay? How are you feeling? Is the virus still—"
"She just woke up," one of the medics tells him. "You might wanna go easy on her with the questions."
"Right." Leon shakes his head. "Right, sorry."
"It's okay," Sherry says, the brightest smile on her tired face. "I'm glad you're here."
"Sherry." Claire crouches beside Leon, placing a hand over Sherry's leg. "It's so good to see you."
"You too, Claire," Sherry rests one hand over Claire's and squeezes Leon's with the other. Her smile broadening. "Thank you for being here. Both of you."
"Don't even mention it." Leon leans over and places a kiss on her head. "We're not going anywhere."
"Thank you." Sherry smiles, but before they can talk to her some more, the medics gesture for them to step aside so they can finish examining her.
Leon and Claire pull to their feet, backing away to give the medics enough room to work. His lips are unable to do anything but smile while Sherry answers the medics' questions. He exchanges a look with Claire, and she takes his hand, holding it tight. The relief in her eyes matches the wave of it coursing through him.
Then he remembers something.
He looks behind him, over at the door where Jill stands, watching him and Claire from the distance. Their eyes hold for a second, and he's about to call her in when she turns on her heels and leaves. Leon has half a mind to follow her, but he stops himself. Her words from earlier still ring in his ears.
Don't touch me! Don't talk to me. Don't come near me. Just don't.
Just stay away from me, Leon. I'm serious.
And so he turns back to Sherry, waits for the doctors to finish with her before he and Claire join her again. They spend the whole afternoon together, chatting about whatever comes to mind, recalling memories that none of them remember well enough anymore, until their conversation is interrupted by a call from Hunnigan, which Leon takes to the hallway.
"Yeah, she's good. You know, still tired, but she's awake and talking, and that's what matters."
"That's very good to hear," Hunnigan says. "In that case, we'll be sending a chopper tomorrow morning to pick you up. Sherry can resume her treatment here, and you need to get back to work."
Leon almost scoffs. "No chance I could get a vacation, could I?"
"Nope," Hunnigan says. "You've just returned to work, anyway. Two weeks should have been enough."
"Yeah." Leon lets out a breath. "Tomorrow, then."
"See you soon."
Leon returns to the room with a fake smile plastered on his face. "That was Hunnigan on the phone," he tells Sherry. "She's glad you're okay, and says they're picking us up tomorrow so you can get the rest of the treatment with the DSO."
"So fast?" Claire's brows knit together.
"Yeah." Leon nods. "They would have brought us back sooner if the BSAA wasn't already on top of the vaccine."
"Oh, this reminds me." Claire turns to Sherry again. "Jake's been worried sick about you. He's sorry he couldn't make it, but he's been calling by the hour to check on you. You should talk to him later when you're feeling well enough. I'm sure he'd love to hear your voice."
"Yeah," Sherry says, the cutest blush on her face. "I will."
She and Jake have been together for a couple years now, and Leon couldn't have been happier for her. Just seeing that smile on her face she gets whenever she gets off a phone call with Jake is worth the world to him. And he's met Jake a couple times, after 2013, in a more casual setting. He's a good guy who simply likes to act like a bad guy. And as long as he's good to Sherry, Leon has no objections.
"I'll text him and let him know you're awake at least." Claire gets up from the chair. "And I need to make some calls at TerraSave, make sure everything's going smoothly over there."
"Take your time," Sherry says as Claire walks toward the door, now her turn to leave the room.
Leon walks over to the bed and takes a seat on the chair. "So, how are you feeling?"
"Good," Sherry says. "Tired, but… good. All in all, this is the best outcome there could have been. I really thought I was dying."
Leon frowns. "I'm sorry. I should've—"
"Don't." Sherry shakes her head at him. "I know you think you should've protected me, but you already did. I wouldn't be here now otherwise."
"You shouldn't have had to go through all that." Leon looks down.
"I'm not a kid anymore," Sherry says. A fact he refuses to accept, after all these years. "I know it's hard… for you and Claire to stop thinking of me as that kid you saved in Raccoon City, but, truth is, I'm old enough to take accountability for my own actions now. I was being reckless. I just wanted us to get that sample, no matter what it took."
"I know," Leon says. He can't fault or blame her for that, either. How many reckless things has he done just to get the job done? If anything, he probably rubbed off on her a little too much.
"And we did it," Sherry says. "I almost died, sure, but at least we got that sample. Mission was a success, and who knows how many lives will be saved because of that."
Leon's throat works up and down. He doesn't meet Sherry's eyes.
"What?" Sherry urges him. She can read him almost just as well as Claire can. "Don't tell me we lost the sample?"
He shakes his head. "We didn't, but… I gave it to the BSAA…"
"You—"
"You needed a vaccine," Leon continues before she says anything else. "I did what I had to."
"We weren't supposed to hand that sample to anyone."
"I know."
"Anyone," Sherry presses. "Leon, even the BSAA—"
"I know," Leon says. "I made the choice, and I'll face the consequences. You had nothing to do with it. You were unconscious the whole time. Whatever comes out of this, I'll take the blame. For now, the DSO has no clue. I told Hunnigan to tell them I lost it during the op."
"That's not what I'm…" Sherry frowns. "Leon, you do know the BSAA could be—"
"Yeah." He nods.
Nothing but rumors. No concrete proof, yet, but Leon's well aware of the word going around about the BSAA these days. He can't confirm or deny whether these rumors are true, and he didn't exactly want to bring it up with Jill, either. Not unless he had something solid. Otherwise, it would have come out the wrong way, and that would have caused unnecessary tension on top of everything going on between them.
"I didn't trust the BSAA with the sample. I trusted Jill. And she helped save your life. She got us out, both of us."
Sherry is quiet for a long moment, but she doesn't argue anymore. Her shoulders drop. Eyes staring into the distance.
"You just worry about getting some rest." Leon rests a reassuring hand on hers. "Leave the rest to me."
The door opens and in walks Claire, a look of disappointment on her face, though she's quick to plaster on a smile as fake as the one he put on earlier.
"Everything okay?" Leon asks her.
"Yeah, it's just…" Claire sighs. "Moira's a little overwhelmed. I think I have to go."
"Oh, that's okay," Sherry tells her. "Please, don't put your work on hold because of me. I'm fine. As you can see." She gestures at herself for emphasis.
"I'm so sorry, Sherry." Claire walks up to her and places a tender kiss on her forehead. "I would've loved to stay, but—"
"You're the boss now," Sherry says. "I understand."
"As soon as you've recovered enough, you and Jake, and Leon," she says the last part with a tone, giving him a raised brow, "should come over for dinner. We haven't done that in a while."
"Sounds good." Sherry smiles. "Looking forward to it."
"Alright, see you soon." Claire gives her a quick hug, then turns to Leon to do the same. "You too."
"Yeah." Leon returns her hug, a gentle pat on her back and a smile. "Thanks for coming by."
"Take care of her, and yourself." Claire smiles at him, waves at Sherry, then she's off.
Silence settles for a few seconds. Leon's about to ask Sherry if she wants anything to drink or eat when…
"When I was out," Sherry says. Her eyes scan his face briefly, a low breath escapes through her mouth. "I wasn't completely out. I could hear voices. And I could make out a few words, even. I was in pain but… I knew you were there with me, by my side. And that helped."
"Glad to know I kept you company, even in your sleep." Leon chuckles, flashing her one of his toothy grins.
"I don't know how much of what I heard is real and how much of it was just… dreams, but…" Sherry swallows. "I thought, at one point, I heard you talking to someone…"
Oh, please, not this again.
"It sounded like Jill," Sherry says. "And it sounded… really tense." A pause. "Is there… is there something going on? Between you and Jill?"
Jesus Christ. Is there anyone who hasn't seen or heard something about him and Jill? It's like the whole world already knows, and there's nothing to know about in the first place. Because all he ever got to share with her was one night.
He swallows. Tone casual. "Something?"
"You know what I mean," she says. "Are you seeing her?"
"No."
Sherry blinks. "That's it? Just no?"
"It was a yes-no question, wasn't it?"
Disappointment is clear in her tone when she says, "Okay."
"Look," Leon says, trying to sound more convincing this time. "Whatever you heard, it's… it's nothing. It was about something that happened. A long time ago."
"How long ago?"
Leon breathes. "Five months."
"That's… really not that long."
"Yeah… well, it's over."
Sherry's eyes search his. "Did you like her?"
Leon sighs. Might as well just get it off his chest, right? Maybe that'll help him move on. "I think so. Yeah."
"I'm sorry it didn't work out."
Leon smiles. "Me too."
"Maybe you should try again," Sherry says. If only she knew half of it. "If you like her, it's probably worth it, no?"
"I… it's complicated." And with that, he gets up from the chair. This isn't something he wants to talk about anymore. Actually, he should be doing the exact opposite. Thinking about it alone is going to drive him insane. "Listen, I'm gonna let you get some rest now, okay?"
"Alright…" Sherry eyes him suspiciously, as if she knows he's merely trying to dodge the conversation. Thankfully, she doesn't press him. "You should get some sleep too before we leave tomorrow."
"I will." Leon reaches over to ruffle her hair. "See you soon, kiddo."
Sherry releases an exaggerated sigh, but offers him the softest smile in turn.
He walks out of the room and stands still, eyes darting about expectantly, searching for a certain someone, potentially waiting somewhere. But that someone's not here. Maybe she wanted to avoid an awkward encounter. Or maybe she just didn't want to see his face. Even though… just earlier, she looked all too happy telling him the news about Sherry. But perhaps that was simply out of relief than anything else. He tries not to think too much about the firm grip with which she held his arm. It's hard. Her touch left a burn that hasn't cooled down yet.
For a few moments there, Leon ponders whether or not he should drop by Jill's office, to thank her one last time before he leaves, tells her the DSO is picking them up tomorrow. That this will be goodbye. For a while at least. But part of the reason he wants to talk to her is because, strangely enough, he's still hoping that… that something would happen. That she'd change her mind, tell him all the things he wants to hear.
How absolutely delusional.
She already told him, didn't she?
Nothing is going to happen between them. Nothing.
What in the world was going on in his head when he kissed her, anyway? Why couldn't he just contain himself? How could he put her in such a spot? And why would he think—hope that would make anything better? He could have simply accepted things as they are. He could have been satisfied with them just being friends. Why did he have to go and ruin that too?
It only serves to remind him of the one thing he knew all along.
He doesn't deserve her. Not one bit.
And that's why he heads straight for the exit, and prays that tomorrow comes fast enough.
Leon arrives at his room, a mix of relieved and tired. But not tired enough to pause his brain from thinking about her. About Jill. About kissing her. About holding her.
Even if she reciprocated none of it, at least he got one last taste of her, right? It should be enough. But it's not enough. The mere memory of her walking away arm in arm with Chris makes his stomach churn. And there isn't much to do to get her off his mind either. He lies in bed for God knows how long, trying to sleep, but sleep, too, rejects his company.
Absently, he gets out of bed and leads himself to the minibar. He hasn't had a thing to drink for about a month now. Ever since that day when he showed up to work drunk. But it seems, if it's not one addiction, it's the other, and if he can't have Jill, then might as well. He grabs a bottle. So what if he shows up to work drunk again? Maybe they'll suspend him again, and he can get a break. Or maybe they'll fire him, and he can get an even longer break. Not that he'd know what to do with his time if were to ever leave the DSO.
Leon's looking around for the corkscrew when a knock makes him pause.
For a second, he thinks he may have imagined the sound. Another knock.
Nope. Definitely not his imagination. He sighs, sets the bottle down and walks over to open the door.
Jill stands before him.
Is he dreaming? Is he already drunk? Or is it his imagination after all?
He blinks once. Twice. Three times. She doesn't vanish from his sight. "Jill?"
Without a single word, she pushes the door open and walks in.