Author's Note: This fic is a love letter to art. It's for anyone who has ever felt lost, looking for a light in the darkness. For anyone who has felt compelled to create, and found a way out.

CW: alcohol abuse/alcoholism, recreational drug use, addiction, abusive parents, character death, grief, implied/referenced suicidal idealization

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Sirius Black and his best friend James Potter were sitting together. They both held small white envelopes from the Royal Art and Design Institute. They grimaced down at them. All the other schools had sent large booklets with their acceptance letters. The two figured these must be rejection letters, based on the size. They were both very disappointed about this. RAD had been their first choice.

The cell phone in Sirius's pocket buzzed. He fished it out, hoping for a distraction.

"I got in," his childhood best friend, Marlene McKinnon, squealed.

"That's great, Mar," he said in a clipped voice.

"Uh oh," she said cautiously. "You didn't?"

"Don't know I'm here with James. We haven't opened our letters."

"Put me on speakerphone, dickhead!"

Sirius clicked the button, and her voice filled the room. "James, what's going on?"

"The envelopes are small," he said in a sombre tone.

"You idiots. Open them! Mine was small too!"

The two cautiously ripped their envelopes open together. He scanned over it, finding the word congratulations. Then doubling back to read the rest. Sirius could hardly process the rest of the letter. He had gotten in. He actually got in. This had to be a fluke. There was no way he actually got accepted.

Sirius's eyes lifted from his letter to find James grinning back at him. "I got in," he shouted.

"Me too!" Sirius said, bouncing up and down. Unable to contain his excitement. Not only had he gotten in. But so did both of his best friends.

"We're all going to RAD!" Marlene cheered through the phone.

The boys rushed downstairs into the kitchen, where James's parents, Euphemia and Fleamont, were sitting. "We got in!" James shouted.

The two were quickly on their feet, wrapping them into hugs. "We are so proud of you," Euphemia beamed.

Fleamont was so thrilled he went down to the wine cellar and popped open a bottle of champagne. The family sat discussing plans for the upcoming school year. Little things like the course options at RAD or where they would be living. When they reached the topic of money, Euphemia told Sirius, "we will cover your tuition."

She had told him this before, but he didn't want to take their money. Scowling, he said, "Effie, I have that money from my uncle-"

"Which you will use after school," Fleamont said, with an air of finality in his tone.

"When you came to live with us, we set up an education fund for you," Euphemia explained.

Sirius had a strained relationship with his family growing up. They threw him out of their house when he was fourteen, with nowhere to go. Luckily, the Potter's took him in. They had always treated him like their own. Everything James got, Sirius got the equivalent. This extended past monetary things, to emotional and physical love and affection as well.

He did not want to take any more of their money. They had already given him so much. However, he rarely won these kinds of arguments.

In Sirius's opinion, Effie went overboard preparing for the boys to go away to school. She had dragged them into shops. Buying them new clothing, school supplies and things for their dorm room. He sometimes got uncomfortable when she did things like this. However, if he was honest, a small part of him enjoyed being fussed over.

The boys had picked out their courses. There wasn't a lot of flexibility in the first-year classes. They were required to take painting, drawing, photography and sculpture courses. But Sirius picked out a film course for one of his electives.

James forced him to take a literature class with him. Sirius had never enjoyed reading, and that class had a lot of reading. They were required to read a novel a week. This worried him. When he applied to art school, he hadn't realized how many lecture-style classes they would be required to take. RAD had a unique mixture of small hands-on labs, classes based around the critique of their artwork and academic lectures.

Sirius and James had gone to pick up their textbooks and course packs. When Sirius saw the size of them, he felt his nerves growing. But he pushed that down. He would figure it out as he went along. Somehow, he always got good grades all throughout high school, despite hardly ever studying or reading. He would figure out how to do well in art school, too.

The friends sat cross-legged on their beds, in their dorm room, which resembled a concrete box more than a bedroom. The two had lucked out and got paired together. You didn't get a say in who you roomed with. They were lucky to not live with strangers.

The Potter's had dropped them off earlier that day. They lived in the city, so moving across town to the student housing building wouldn't be an enormous change for them. There was a discussion of if the boys should live at home while attending school, but Fleamont insisted they get the full university experience. Effie was relieved that they had not gone far, though. She had hugged them when she dropped them off, looking teary-eyed. "I will miss you both so much," she told them, holding them tight to her chest.

"You'll visit us often," Fleamont insisted.

The two unpacked the small amount of things they had brought with them and then sat chatting on their beds. They were both filled with so much pent-up energy. The excitement of starting something new, but not really having anything to do to expel it.

Eventually, Marlene found their room, accompanied by a girl named Mary. "This is my roommate," the blonde said in an animated voice.

Mary Macdonald looked like she belonged in the city. The outfit she was wearing looked sleek and put together. If Sirius hadn't known she was in art school, he might have thought she was in fashion school. She looked out of place in the small cement dorm room, sitting next to the three friends, in their ripped jeans and converse.

After the introductions were done, Mary peeked at her phone. "Can my friend Pete come by?"

"Sure," James smiled. He was always so welcoming. Sirius felt there were already too many people in the small room. If he had it his way, he would have said no. But James never wanted to leave someone out. Throughout much of their teenage years, James had served as Sirius's moral compass. Sirius didn't think of himself as a mean person. He just tended to not see the bigger picture sometimes. He got swept away in his emotions.

Eventually, a short, nervous boy appeared at the door. Sirius found it hard to understand the relationship between Mary and Peter. They didn't seem like the type to be friends with one another. "How do you two know each other?" Sirius asked, trying not to sound judgemental.

"We went to the same high school. But didn't hang out much. Mary's older brother had the best weed, though," Peter joked. When Peter gained laughter from the group, he looked both pleased and surprised, turning a light shade of pink. Sirius instantly found the boy endearing.

"What does everyone want to major in?" James asked. At RAD, the first-year art students all had to do a foundation year. This allowed them to explore art mediums they weren't as familiar with, before choosing their majors in their second year. This was something Sirius was not excited about. He knew he wanted to take photography, and there was very little that would sway him from that choice.

"Film for sure," Marlene said confidently. Sirius wanted to do photography, while Mary and James were undecided.

"I'm in graphic design," Peter mumbled.

"Good," Marlene chuckled, clapping him on the shoulder. "We'll have to keep you around. We'll need someone to buy us food when we're all starving artists."

After everyone left, Sirius and James settled on their beds, turning the lights off. Sirius felt like he was at a sleepover, like the ones they used to have before he went to live with the Potter's. Back when the two were just friends, not yet brothers. Giggling into the dark. Sirius felt restless, overstimulated from the excitement of the day. He couldn't wait for the adventure he and his friends were about to embark on.