At the Siskin house, the girls were working on a special project. In the studio/Lindsay's bedroom, the curtain opened to reveal Marie in an amateur cat costume. Clapping was then heard. "Thank you, thank you. Welcome to teh first annual Linds-a-thon. Today, we are raising money for Cats Who Can't Dance. And here's your host, Lindsay Siskin!" Marie then screamed as she accidentally fell through a trap door. Lindsay then appeared in a showgirl outfit and began singing and dancing.
They weren't born to jive
Could never do a ditty
Didn't learn to dance lik a happy... Uhh...
"Kitty!" Marie said, silently. "Gesundheit!" Lindsay said as she returned to her normal outfit.
"Hey folks! Do you know what a cat's favorite TV show is? Paw and Order!" Lindsay joked. No one laughed. Lindsay looked at Marie. "The canned laughter's stuck!" Marie opened the can which let out a weak laugh before wheezing. "It's gone stale." Marie said as she threw the can out.
"Let's say hello to our Linds-a-thon phone bank! We collected some neighborhood randos to sit by and take your calls and pledges." Lindsay explained. The first member was a corgi who kept chewing on the phone. The next one was Ernest P. Christenheimer. "You can call me with your most intimate pledges." He said creepily. Then, the third one was Owen McFarley, who kept farting while answering calls. The last one was Heather Beaumont. "Excuse me, I don't want to do this. I'm just here for my paper route money." Just then, the phone rang. Heather answered. "Hello?" On the other side was known town prankcaller Bert Simpleton. "Yes. I'm looking for Boring. First initials, I.M." "Ok, I'll check. Is I.M. Boring here? Hey, does anyone know I.M. Boring?" Heather said, obliviously. "We know!" An audience member shouted. Heather angrily hung up the phone.
"Ha. Today's goal is to raise a hundred thousand dollars to get every non-hoofing cat the dance lessons they need! Let's check the tote board to see how much money we've raised so far." Lindsay said. The tote board showed that they had raised ten dollars. "Such generosity! Thanks, Dad!" she yelled. "You're welcome!" Dwayne yelled back. "Let's check in with Grammy in the backyard. She's gonna do a dangerous stunt to help us raise money. Take it away, Arizona Wilton!" Lindsay cheered.
"That's Dakota Milton. And I'm here in the Siskin family backyard where Louise Siskin will attempt a frightening and stupid set of daredevil stunts on what looks like an obstacle course built by a stark raving lunatic." Grammy arrived on her scooter, dressed like Evil Kneivel. "And here's our future casualty now. What are you doing there, old-timer?" Dakota asked. "I'm making our my will. Nobody gets nothin'!" Grammy said before leaving. "Ah, the elderly. Back to the studio." Dakota finished.
"Thanks, Mocha." Lindsay said. "Right now, I'd like to bring out one of the reasons why we're doing this telethon. Say hello to Reyna- a cat who can't dance- and her owner, Dee Dee!" Dee Dee then walked on stage with her tabby, Reyna. "Thank you, Miss Siskin." Dee Dee said. "Now tell us your pathetic story just like we rehearsed." Lindsay said sadly. "Yes, well, you see, I've tried every dance there is with Reyna. We tried tap. We tried ballet. We even tried slam dancing. But my poor cat just can't dance." Dee Dee said, shedding crocodile tears.
Just then, Kelly barged in, holding a laundry basket. "Let's go, girls! Dirty laundry time!" Kelly sang. "Mom, I'm doing a show!" Lindsay complained. "And I'm doing the laundry. Come on, hand me your dirty clothes." Kelly responded in an even tone. Lindsay took off her shoes and bandana, and handed them to Kelly. "Hey, Mom, since you're here, why don't you do that thing with your tattoo?" Lindsay asked. Kelly gighled before she showed her back tattoo. At first, it was just a woman damcing, vefore it turned into a conga line of showgirls. They danced for a while, before the curtain came down. Kelly then bowed.
Meanwhile, in a Frankstein based-dimension, where everything was black and white, two people were watching the show. One was the dimension's version of Chef, Doctor Norbert Hatchettstein, while the other was the version of Lindsay, Elizabeth Lakinza. "Master, I'd like to pledge so that the cats can dance." Elizabeth said. "With what? You don't have anything because I don't pay you." Hatchettstein said. "Elizabeth has been saving things from the doctor's floor. She was going to build a friend, but now she wants cats to dance." "Oh, you know I don't approve of things that aren't wicked. But perhaps making a cat dance is a new kind of evil. Where's the phone?!" Hatchettstein yelled. Just then, the door was kicked down to reveal one of Hatchettstein's creations, Deemonica, a hybrid of all kinds of monsters. They then handed Hatchettstein a telephone. "Sheesh, I haven't used this thing since I was hanging out with Count Vladimir. Dead -- just like Vladimir." Hatchettstein then had an idea and began to laugh evilly.
For the plan, Deemonica was on a wooden board, and the telephone was connected to them. "Release the Propell-a-Brains!" Hatchettstein yelled. Elizabeth cackled as she released the Propell-a-Brains. The propellers were struck by lightning, and the lightning then reached Deemonica. They began turning and twitching. "Ring, ring! Give my phone life!" Hatchettstein yelled. He cackled as both the phone and Deemonica began to ring. He then answered the phone. "Hello, I would like to donate one hundred dollars to the Linds-a-thon in the Aurora Falls dimension, please." he said. "I've got an incredible offer on an exclusive time share in the Wawanakwa Lagoon if you act now!" an announcer said on the other line. "Now I remember why I disabled the phone." Hatchettstein then groaned, and then he cackled as he pulled out a chainsaw. He began to chase Deemonica and Elizabeth with the chainsaw cutting everything in half, including Deemonica. He even managed to cut the fourth wall in half, and Deemonica thought it was over. But when they saw Hatchettstein, they continued to run screaming.
Meanwhile, back at the Siskin house, they had raised $110 and Lindsay had just gotten off the phone. "Hey everybody, I just got a time share in the Wawanakwa Lagoon!" Lindaay cheered. Just then, the town bubble boy/genius Cameron Wilkins came in holding an invention. "Hold it! Stop the music! You don't need to raise money." he told them. "Is that a toaster?" Lindsay asked. "This isn't a toaster! I call it the Automatic Cat Jiver, or the ACJ. Just hook your house cat up to the machine and they'll be dancing in seconds. Allow me to demonstrate." Cameron then took Reyna from Dee Dee, and hooked her up to some cables. "You see, the jibe does the cat's dance moves for them. When I flip this switch, Reyna will be the first cat in history to dance!"
Once Cameron flipped the switch, Reyna started to dance. However, Reyna started to spew hairballs everywhere. The ACJ then began to malfunction, and hairballs were all pver Cameron and Dee Dee. Dee Dee ran away, and Cameron attempted to turn the device off. Lindsay ended up caught in the crossfire, nad she flew off and landed in Ernest's arms. "May I have the next dance?" Ernest asked. Just then, the Automatic Cat Jiver exploded. Cameronwas dizzy afterwards. "It just needs some minor adjustments." Cameron said, dizzily. Judt then, Reyna emerged and started chasinf after Cameron.
Now, they had managed to earn $1,000. "Woo-hoo! One thousand dollars on the way tp our goal! Keep those calls, letters and psychic messages coming in. Oh, paychic message coming from the backyard. And Carlota Grillton!" Lindsay said.
"That's Dakota Milton. You're now looking at the Alligator Jump, Wheel of Fire, ten blindfolded boxing champs, and ninth grade algebra teacher Mrs. Bourgeois. The time is getting closer when Louise Siskin will sacrifice herself in order to help poor, unfortunate cats to dance." Just then, Louise arrived on her motor scooter. "What's this about cats?" Grammy asked. "Oh, what a relic. Back to you, Lindsay." Dakota said.
"Thanks, Rhoda." Lindsay said. Cameron then came in, holding a rug. "Reyna, get ready to move your body because I got a new solution. I call it the Cutting a Rug Rug. Let me demonstrate." Cameron took Reyna, and put her on the rug. "All right, Reyna, show them what you got!" Reyna danced under it, but it was mostly under Cameron's feet. He briefly fanced, before he was sent flying through the window.
Just then, Heather's phone began to ring. "Hello?" Heather asked. It was Bert on the other line, but with a deeper voice. "Hello, I'm looking for a Mrs. Loser. First name, Ima." Bert said. "Ok? Anybody here named Ima? Ima Loser? Hey everybody, Ima Loser!" Heather yelled. "We know!" Dwayne yelled. Heather then angrily hung up the phone. Lindsay was taking a nap, but her alarm clock woke her up. "Looks like we're nearing the end of our Linds-a-thon for Cats Who Can't Dance. But before we go, let's get to our big finale with Dakota Milton!" she cheered.
"That's Soda Billson! I-I mean Paris Hilton! Agh! Whatever! Time for the big stunt!" Dakota said, exasperated. Lindsay then walked outside and was hoisted up into the air. "Looks like granddaughter is giving grandmother a last-minute pep talk." Lindsay then walked up to Grammy on the track. "I just wanna say it's been nice knowing you. Oh, wait, that came out wrong." Lindsay said. Grammy then got off the seat. "Granddaughter, can you check the heating pad in my seat? It's not working." Grammy said. "Well, my buns are nice and toasty." Lindsay said while getting on.
Grammy then pushed her and Lindsay began screaming. Lindsay then began going through the obstacle course. First, she went through the Alligator Jump. She was swallowed by gators before being spat out. Next, she went through the Wheel of Fire and came out unscathed. Next was the boxing champs. They did beat ger, but not severely. Then was Mrs. Bourgeois, and Lindsay solved the math problem. When she got back on the course, Ernest managed to get on the motor scooter. "The excitement is killing me. Is it killing you?" Ernest asked. "Maybe." Lindsay muttered. Ernest amd Lindsay screamed as the scooter went off a high jump.
Meanwhile, back at the studio, Camerom bought in a bottle of spray. "I did it! I did it, guys! I found the cure!" he cheered. Cameron rhen took Reyna and sprayed her paws with the substance. "I call it Tappin' Spray." Cameron said. At first, it didn't work. Suddenly, Reyna began to tap. She now had high heels on her feet, and started to dance like there was no tomorrow. "Look at her dancing!" Dee Dee cheered. The phone bank got multiple calls, and donations poured in. Animals began playing instruments, and Kelly and Dwayne danced alongside each other. Now, they had raised $100,000. Ernest and Lindsay then fell through the wall. Marie then came in with her cat costume. "Thank you everyone for making this Linds-a-thon a huge success!" Lindsay cheered. Heather walked in. "All right, listen up, I've got a message here from Roberta Simpton for Mia Dumbbell. Can someone please call Mia Dumbbell?" Heather asked. "Okay! You're a dumbbell!" Everyone cheered and laughed. "I hate telethons!" Heather growled.
Hope you like this chapter. The black-and-white universe is known as Frankenfalls. Hatchettstein is the equivalent to Chef and the mad scientist. Elizabeth Lakinza is the equivalent to Lindsay and Igor/Elisabeth Lavinza. Deemonica is the equivalent to Dee Dee and Frankenstein. Deemonica is referred to Elizabeth as she/her while Hatchettstein refers to them as they/them. Deemonica is non-binary, but is sometimes referred to as a girl. Hope you enjoyed! See you soon!