Thursday, week four: Raine gently tried to breach the topic of Percy's mom. Not how much he loved her, which he was happy to talk about, but how she'd responded to Gabe's abuse of him. Her part in breaking the oath. Keeping his heritage a secret.

Even knowing it was coming, even having agreed to it, Percy reacted badly. He did exactly what Sally had been so proud of him for not doing, and got defensive and angry at every turn. He snapped. He pushed Raine away, he was stubborn, he argued and told Raine she didn't understand and didn't listen. The session lasted less than twenty minutes before they gave up, spent the rest of the hour calming him down, and let him hide in his room for the second half.

He was already grumpy and sullen when they went into group, though the time to exercise had helped and the tutors had been light on the classwork today.

"Today's just going to be sharing," Cassia said kindly, letting them scatter to sit where they liked, most of them with their backs to a corner or wall. The room had lots of corners, Percy suddenly noticed. "I know this is a sensitive topic for most of you, so be gentle with each other, alright? Today we're going to be talking about home, and what 'home' means to each of you."

Great. Percy slumped against the shelf and complained to himself silently.

A few of the others went first. Kieran had spent most of his life in foster care, so 'home' was just where he could close a door and keep things out. Rose said home was quiet, where she could care for herself by herself. Elliot said home was where he ate and slept and did his homework.

"Percy, can you tell us what home means to you?" Cassia asked – Percy had never been able to figure out how she picked who went. He sighed and leaned back, rolling the question over.

"Home is my mom," he said after a moment, decisive. "She was the only thing that could make me feel safe for years, and I always knew she loved me."

"Great, we can move on," Jet interrupted, and when Percy looked over, Jet was giving him an uncharacteristically filthy look. "Glad you've got a good mom. Shut up and make room for those of us that aren't so lucky."

Percy blinked at him, surprise quickly souring into irritation and hurt. "I wasn't done."

"I am," Jet snapped.

"Jet," Cassia said, sharp for the first time Percy had ever heard from her. "Let Percy speak."

"No!" Jet said, pushing himself up to a crouch to glare at Percy. "Sounds to me like he's got nothing to complain about."

"Jet, you know that's not true," Rose said, rocking forward as if to get up, then falling back, brow pinched with anxiety.

"Do I?" Jet sneered, and stood up to cross the room and stand over Percy. Percy tensed, springing to his feet just to catch up. He was still a little shorter than Jet, and now crowded against the corner. "Go on. Tell us more about how your mom is sober and attentive and caring and perfect."

"Stop making this about my mom!" Percy snapped, struggling to keep his temper. He'd been so good so far. He hadn't fucked up once here yet. Jet was a mortal; Percy wasn't allowed to fight him, period.

"Jet, sit down!" Cassia warned.

Jet shouted something. Percy didn't process the actual words; already raw and sensitive, less than a foot from Jet, his mind fuzzed into television static. On instinct, he pivoted, slamming his elbow into Jet's stomach. Jet shouted again, this time in wordless pain, tumbled back, and hit the ground.

"Percy!" Cassia said angrily, getting to her feet. Percy panted for a second, staring wide-eyed at Jet's groaning form and the terrified-looking kids. A few of them had pressed back against walls and shelves.

His stomach turned.

"Oh gods," Percy choked out, too much adrenaline searing his blood, and he ran. Voices called after him, but he barely heard them before he ripped the door open.

He didn't slow down until he'd reached the creek, practically on the opposite side of the property, where he stumbled and more or less fell in. It was too shallow to be really comforting, but it would have to do. Percy sprawled on his stomach to soak as much of himself as possible, dug his fingers into the mud, and snarled at the rocks. The creek thrashed and churned around him, splashing across his back and the shore in waves.

He'd fucked up. He'd so fucked up. He was about to get expelled from literal therapy school because he was such a dangerous monster, and wouldn't that just be the crowning achievement of his entire stupid life? Gods. What kind of asshole did he have to be to hit someone in an institution for abused kids? And Jet was a mortal too. He'd hit a mortal so hard that Jet had been knocked down.

He buried his face in the water and laced his fingers over the back of his head, shielding himself from the light of day with his arms. His head was almost completely submerged, the water lapping at the tops of his ears.

Percy had long since lost track of time when a loud voice made him flinch violently. "Percy!"

He scrambled upright, only his curse protecting him from the sharp stones, and looked up desperately. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I just reacted, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't kick me out I only just started getting the hang of it-"

Raine slowed to a stop, looking confused, and then realization and relief crossed her face. She lowered herself to a kneel at the edge of the churning water.

"You're not being expelled, Percy," she said, steady and calm again. "Cassia sent me after you, she was worried. Jet scared you, right?"

"I hit him," Percy said miserably, still breathing too fast. "I didn't mean to hit him, honest!"

"Lucas is taking care of Jet," Raine promised. "And all of the other kids are being well looked after too. Can I come into the water?"

"Yeah," Percy mumbled, and forced the water to fall still, easing back into a gentle flow. "Sorry."

Raine waded in without replying, her hands and knees dragging through the mud. She stopped a few feet away. "How are you feeling, Percy?"

The now-familiar question was both aggravating and comforting.

"I'm sorry," Percy repeated helplessly.

"I know," Raine reassured him, water soaking into her clothes, her jeans and her jacket. "But how are you?"

"...Scared," Percy decided after a moment. "Why am I scared?"

Raine held out her hand in offering, and Percy scooted over to accept it, staring down. "Why do you think you're scared?"

"You're not angry?" Percy asked, before he could stop himself.

"I'm not angry," Raine promised. "You and Jet both had a bad day in therapy, and he deliberately did something you had already warned him would set you off. It's no one's fault."

"Oh." Percy tightened his grip on her hand, and tried to answer her question. "I don't wanna be expelled from here. I've never been able to talk about stuff like this before. A-about Mom, and camp, a-and feeling scared and, and sad and angry. I, I need it."

Until now, he still hadn't really been sure of it. It seemed excessive, a waste of time to sort through all the junk in his brain, but- gods. Talking about it didn't feel good, exactly, but it was a massive relief, like he was slowly deflating a balloon in his chest.

"You're getting help you've needed for a long time," Raine translated quietly. "And you're scared it's going to be taken away." Percy nodded. "It won't, Percy. Letitia founded this place first and foremost for demigods. Even if you became dangerous to the other patients – and you aren't – you'd just be separated. You could still talk to me."

"Promise?" Percy asked, hating how fragile it sounded.

"I promise," Raine said. Percy let out a shuddering breath.

"What's gonna happen?" he asked quietly. "I'm in trouble, right?"

"You're not in trouble, Percy," Raine soothed him. "Patients set each other off sometimes, it's okay. Your reaction was violent because your life is chaotic and dangerous. That's not your fault."

"Okay," Percy murmured, relieved. Raine gave him a small smile.

"Tomorrow afternoon, instead of individual therapy, you and Jet will have a joint session to work things out. Lucas and I will both be there, we'll keep things calm. And perhaps we could invite your mother next Monday. I think this morning's conversation will go better with her."

Percy closed his eyes, still breathing heavily. "Alright."

The fidget spinner didn't leave Percy's hands the whole time he was waiting for Jet, and he suspected it wouldn't anytime during the session either. The two chairs had been placed a comfortable distance away from each other – a little more than half the room – and he and Raine were just waiting on Lucas and Jet.

The moment Jet walked through the door, Percy met his eyes and said without hesitation, "I'm sorry I hit you."

Jet faltered, visibly startled, and then slumped into the chair while Lucas went to join Raine. After a moment, he snorted. "You literally told me on your first day that you lash out when you're scared and that being yelled at scares you. I don't know why I was surprised when that actually happened." Pause. "Uh. I forgive you."

Percy relaxed a little, spinning the toy in his hands idly.

"That was very good, both of you," Lucas praised. "But we still need to talk about what happened yesterday."

Both of them groaned, but it was Jet that gave in first.

"Sorry," he muttered. "I kinda knew you had a shitty father at some point, I should've let you finish. I was just pissy because we'd talked about my mom in therapy – fucking drug-addled bitch. Wasn't in the mood to hear about a good mom."

Percy let out a weak laugh. "What are the odds? We talked about my mom that day too. I, uh-" He cleared his throat, tapped his shoes against the floor. "My first stepfather was hurting both of us. But my mom was really well-behaved and I'm a fuckup. So. That's where I was going with that."

Jet snorted. "How well-behaved could she be if she was letting some jerk hit you?"

Percy gritted his teeth, and Raine cut in instantly. "That's proven to be a very sore point, Jet. Please don't touch on it."

"Oh," Jet said. "Yeah, alright." He shrugged uncomfortably. "Whatever."

"Is that all?" Percy asked Raine, a whine edging his voice despite himself.

"I'm afraid not," Raine said, only a little apologetic. "Percy, how did you feel when Jet cut you off?"

Percy exhaled, more frustrated than usual by the prompt. "Angry, hurt. I mean- a lot of my friends have met my mom, and they just kind of assume that she's the whole story of my home life, but- I'm here. I thought it'd be obvious that there was more." Raine gestured for him to go on, and Percy growled under his breath, but gamely forced his way through. "Everyone here has been pretty understanding so far, even about stuff that's objectively stupid." Raine cleared her throat. Percy resisted the urge to stomp his foot. "That I think is stupid. And talking about Gabe is really hard anyway. So it sucked. Can I stop now?"

"Haven't you been here four weeks?" Jet asked. Percy snarled at him, and looked away sharply when Jet flinched.

"Percy has a lot of ground to cover," Raine said mildly. "We haven't quite worked up to his stepfather yet."

Jet shrugged, and Lucas cut in, low and gentle. "Jet, is there anything you'd like to say to Percy?"

Jet sighed heavily, and Percy suddenly realized this wasn't the first of these joint sessions he'd sat through. Jet frowned at Percy for a long moment, and then conceded grudgingly, "Any other day I wouldn't have done it, okay? I was just all fucked up already."

Percy relaxed a little. "...Okay."

Lucas smiled at both of them. "Well done. Jet, it's your turn. How did you feel when Percy hit you?"

Percy winced, sinking down in his seat. Jet crossed his arms.

"I wasn't that mad right then," Jet said frankly, surprising Percy. "'Cause I was kind of baiting him into it, I remembered what he'd said and everything, I just wasn't actually expecting him to do it. That was my dumb fault. But why the hell wasn't he punished for it? Is hitting people allowed in here? You didn't even give him a slap on the wrist!"

His voice rose a little, and Percy grimaced, pushing his hands into his pockets.

"Of course not, Jet," Lucas soothed, though he did shoot Raine a questioning glance. Raine tapped the omega symbol on her breast pocket, and Lucas' lips pressed together, unconvinced. Raine sighed.

"Percy has been in several fights over the last couple of years," Raine said at last. "The reflexes are engrained. You might as well attack a combat veteran in their sleep."

"So it is allowed, but just for him," Jet snapped, posture tightening up in unbridled suspicion. Percy ducked his head, cursing himself. He should've known it was too good to be true. Raine pursed her lips, and Lucas was frowning at her.

"Cornering the other patients against the wall to yell at them isn't allowed either, I remind you," Raine said tersely.

"Raine," Lucas warned, somehow both stern and soft. "This isn't like you."

Raine took a deep breath, relaxed, and nodded, closing her eyes for just a moment. "Of course not, I apologize."

"It's okay," Percy said quickly, finally overwhelmed and miserable enough to give in. "I can IM you from camp, right? I mean, that would work. It's basically the same and then I won't be bothering anyone else."

"Don't be an asshole," Jet snapped at him. Percy flinched. "God. Why did I think you were cool?"

"Jet," Lucas warned, and this time Jet listened, taking a deep breath and leaning back, scowling. Lucas sighed. "Raine, I know you can't talk much about the kids in that program, but I don't understand why you want to give Percy an easy pass."

Gods. Percy really did make things so fucking hard for everyone.

"What program?" Jet asked suspiciously.

Raine sighed again. "A specialty division designed by Ms. Osborne. The staff members that wear this-" She tapped her pocket. "Are directly involved with it."

Jet visibly bit back another vitriolic comment. "Yeah? Special treatment?"

"Special backgrounds," Raine corrected tersely.

"That military program that Alfie and I mentioned," Percy tacked on, drumming his feet against the floor. Jet raised an eyebrow, eying him suspiciously.

"You were serious about that?"

"I mean," Percy said uncomfortably, crossing his arms. "It's an oversimplification, but it's basically right." Overwhelmed, he shot Raine a pleading look, and she inclined her head in return.

"The situation is highly classified, which is why we can't speak of it," Raine explained, "but you could say that Percy is from... a cross between a cult and a child soldier program."

Percy wanted to protest. But he couldn't, really. Relieved despite himself, Percy nodded. "Alfie just knows about it," he explained quietly. "I'm part of it." Then, unable to help it, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hit you. You scared the shit out of me, I didn't even hear what you said."

Jet looked uncomfortable. "I said 'don't yell at me.'"

Percy wanted to laugh at the irony. "I'll keep that in mind."

"This is a therapeutic institution," Raine added, brisk and professional. "If either of you had acted in outright malice, or refused to acknowledge your misbehavior, that would be another story. As it is, you both understand what you did wrong, so further chastisement would serve no purpose."

"That doesn't ordinarily extend to physical misconduct," Lucas said quietly. Percy pulled his knees up to his chest.

"Percy routinely fights for his life, Lucas," Raine said, an edge creeping into her voice again. Percy was abruptly reminded of Alfie, and what he'd said about how clearsighted adults talked about demigods. "The circumstances have to be taken into account. Letitia is aware of his circumstances and was impressed by his restraint."

"So Percy is getting a pass because he's literally so traumatized he couldn't help it," Jet concluded, dry as dust. He sighed. "Damn it. This is why baiting people on purpose is a stupid idea. Fine, I get it. That's really fucked up."

"Is that enough for you to feel safe here, Jet?" Lucas asked.

"Yeah," Jet sighed. "Hell, maybe I'll even be nicer to Alfie."

They spent the first part of group therapy finishing the previous day's session, and Percy was relieved that Cassia went for those who hadn't gone at all – Amna, Alfie, Jet – before finally getting around to him. When it was his turn again, he didn't look at anyone, fixing his eyes on the ground.

"Home is my mom," he said, quiet and careful. "And, um, home is where I have to be on my best behavior. 'Cause when I fuck up at home, it doesn't just hurt me. It hurts her too."

"Thank you, Percy," Cassia said softly. "That was brave of you to share." She turned her attention on the rest of the room. "We'll spend about half an hour working on deciding what all of you think an ideal home should be, and coming up with ideas for how to make that happen, okay? And then we'll run the self-esteem gauntlet for Amna."

Amna beamed, and Percy grinned at her, shoulders loosening in relief.

The discussion went pretty well, Percy thought, with all of them brainstorming ideas for how to make a place feel safe and comfortable and welcoming, all of the things that a home should be. Percy shared more ideas than he took in, because his mom was amazing at making a place feel safe, and he still remembered when they'd first moved into the new apartment. Everyone seemed to have forgiven him for the day before, which was a huge relief and a little bit humbling.

They wrapped up sooner than usual, because it was self-esteem Friday, not a regular group day. Everyone was relieved about that; they had a routine here, and that routine was supposed to include a light day on Friday.

As they lined up for the gauntlet, Percy placed himself at the end of the line.

"Cassia, Percy is punishing himself," Amna reported immediately.

"What the hell," Percy said. Cassia hid a smile behind her hand.

"Patients aren't allowed to use self-esteem Fridays as either a reward or a punishment," Cassia explained. "They're inevitable, so the idea is that they go the same way whether you behaved well or poorly that week."

"I'm still in the line," Percy protested.

"You're going after Amna," Cassia instructed, nodding to the other end. Amna snickered at him. "Jet, you're after Percy."

"I didn't do nothing," Jet argued.

"But you had a bad week," Cassia said. "You know the rules."

They went to the front of the line. Percy's cheeks burned.

Amna took her time through the line, beaming and fever-bright. She was funny and kind and charming, and everyone made sure to remind her of it; Rose, at the end of the line, hugged her even more tightly than she had Leilani and said that she was going to miss her.

Then it was Percy's turn, and the first step down the line was... hard. Harder than it should have been, like pushing through molasses. Because of course, right after him was Jet, and-

Jet gave him a nod. "You're braver than you know."

Percy relaxed, and the rest of the line was easier.

Elliot patted Percy on the back. "No one that knows you would ever be scared of you."

Alfie bumped their elbows together gently. "You're a really good friend."

Kieran grabbed his hand. "It's really reassuring to have you around."

Rose smiled at him, broad and genuine. "You make it easy to laugh."

Amna hugged him. "Your friends are lucky to have you."

Percy's eyes were wet again, but he wiped them, patted Amna on the back, and took his place across from her, cheeks aching.