Hwawoon unconsciously flinched when Songhyun asked him about his younger siblings. He was ready to answer that he had no siblings, but he quickly shut his mouth because he realized that was his answer, not Yeon Hwawoon's.
As Hwawoon hesitated, couldn't answer because he didn't know whether Yeon Hwawoon actually had younger siblings or not, Ahjin, who was a step behind him, walked forward and gave the answer to Songhyun.
"My master has one younger sister."
Ahjin's answer that there was a little sister made Songhyun's face immediately brighten up. Songhyun thought this was fate. She had a brother she missed in her parents' home, and Yeonbin had a little sister he couldn't meet as well. Thus, she thought it would be good if he and she thought of each other as siblings and supported each other in the palace.
If only there was no Jooah, who watched her from earlier with cold eyes, Songhyun might express her happiness by clapping her hands right away.
Even before they came to this place, Jooah warned her, asking if she forgot Yeonbin's true nature and telling her he could return to his past self anytime and harass her. However, Songhyun opposed, asking whether they should see Hwawoon as a different person from the past if Hwawoon really lost his memories and decided to be a new person, which led Jooah to get speechless. People said humans are helpless once they get blinded, and in Jooah's eyes, that was the case with her master.
So, when Songhyun was about to say that. When she did not stop herself from approaching Hwawoon despite Jooah's pledge, and about to ask, 'how about we live here as brother and sister and rely on each other?'.
A sudden unwelcome guest came in.
"Here comes His Majesty the Emperor~!"
Surprisingly, that unwelcome guest was the emperor.
"Did you say Jeongbin went to Jeongan Palace?"
As the Empress, Jaran, asked back, Seon bowed her head and answered.
"Yes, Your Majesty. I heard she even kindly asked Yeonbin if she could visit Jeongan Palace on the way back after the morning greetings this morning."
"Haha, things are going interesting."
Jaran burst into laughter like someone who really heard a very interesting story. When Yeon Hwawoon changed, and when the Emperor began to get disturbed by that changed figure of Yeon Hwawoon, Jaran did guess the flow in this imperial palace would change through Yeon Hwawoon. However, she didn't expect that would affect not only the emperor, but also the concubines.
As the empress's face seemed genuinely happy, Seon only bowed her head because she was still unable to read the empress's mind. Then, Jaran put down the book in her hands for a moment and continued,
"I was wondering if he'll be able to do it because he's in a very unfavorable situation even if he really decided to change…"
Even if an ordinary person lost their memory, it will not be easy to continue life without memory, but how helpless it is to have to be hated and despised by everyone without knowing what he did in the past. Therefore, Jaran thought it would not be easy for his actions to have significant results, regardless of whether she believed or not believing that Hwawoon has really changed.
In particular, if the original character was not beautiful, he could turn into a twisted person as before even if he did not regain his memories due to the disregard and ignorance of his surroundings.
Nevertheless, Yeon Hwawoon did not yield. Even though people around him did not believe him, tried to test him, mocked and ignored his changed self, he straightened up himself without tired even with his fragile body. And now, through his unwavering self, he changed the heart of the emperor and people who were like his sworn enemies.
"… Then, does this mean this was the true character Yeon Hwawoon had?"
Jaran mumbled while grazing her fingertip freely on the page of the book she held. She wondered if Yeon Hwawoon, whom she considered to be helpless because he never changed even if she tried to persuade and make him come to his senses, was not like that actually.
The thoughts that did not persuade her mind, either way, led Jaran to deepen her gaze. Anyway, the recent Yeon Hwawoon was an interesting person to her.
Yihan looked at the two people, who greeted him side by side, with a somewhat stupefied expression. It was obviously flustering to see the two people, who were eager to fight each other whenever they met, together. Furthermore, even though he saw it with his own eyes, it was hard to believe that Jeongbin, who even heard all kinds of harsh words from Yeonbin, was at Jeongan Palace.
However, what was more ridiculous and incredible than that was,
"What suddenly brings you here, Your Majesty?"
The faint disappointment in Jeongbin's eyes as she asked that question. She looked like she wasn't happy at all with the Emperor, who made his appearance in this place. The gaze was unfamiliar and dumbfounding, so Yihan looked at Jeongbin without saying a word for a while, but Jeongbin was just pouting her lips without noticing the emperor's gaze.
Jeongbin was really upset. She was sad. She finally managed to get here and set the mood for what she wanted to say, but she lost my chance to say it because the emperor suddenly came. Even though Jeongbin knew it was irreverent of her, she kept feeling the emperor was inconsiderate.
If only he didn't come. No, if only he came five minutes later. Then, just as I am now close to Biyoung as her sister, Yeonbin and I could have been like my brother and his youngest sister.
If anyone heard that she had a bad thought for the emperor just for that reason, they would pass out, but that was the honest feeling Songhyun felt at this moment.
However, Yihan also had a lot to say. He came to Jeongan Palace while feeling sour because the courtiers gossiping that Yeonbin is a beautiful gentleman and such, but Jeongbin was sitting face to face with Yeonbin and talking in a friendly manner, when he, the emperor, hadn't had a proper conversation with the changed Yeon Hwawoon yet.
Therefore, he was the one who strangely felt hurt in this situation, but Jeongbin rather looked like she was the one being upset. Yihan was really speechless that he was close to letting out a vain laugh. Yihan, who was feeling hurt without knowing the reason, soon said to Jeongbin,
"I came here because I have something to say to Yeonbin, so Jeongbin, go back now."
Songhyun's eyes turned big in an instant.
"Bu-but, Your Majesty, even I just arrived…"
"Your Highness!"
Jooah, who was taken aback by Songhyun's words that came out before anyone could stop her, quickly pulled her arm and stopped her. Only then Songhyun realized that she had been acting rude, then she closed her mouth and bent one knee in front of the emperor.
"Yes… I will take my leave now, Your Majesty."
Yihan, who saw Songhyun's gaze as she left Jeongan Palace after greeting him was filled with regret until the end and did not leave Hwawoon, turned his gaze and looked at Yeon Hwawoon standing in front of him with a calm look. The moment he saw his white, clean, and calm face, his heart ached again.
Perhaps because he wore clothes of dark color today, his skin looked paler. As the pants like the ones worn by men were shown under the end of his neat clothes, he hardly looked like the emperor's concubine now. That's why they come to see that face. Yihan really didn't want to admit it, but there were indeed people who wandered around this imperial palace to see the face of the said beautiful gentleman.
"Your Majesty, please take your seat."
Hwawoon talked first to the emperor since the emperor only stared at his face without saying anything for a while. Yihan did so because he was dumbfounded and curious by the sentiment of the courtiers, and without knowing it, he was out of his mind for a while as he saw him. Yihan, who finally realized he endlessly stared at him while still standing, quickly looked away, faked coughing for no reason, and then sat on the seat where Jeongbin sat earlier.
Yihan once again felt disturbed for no reason as he saw the tea with a nice aroma and the colorful prepared snacks.
"Since when did you get this close with Jeongbin?"
Eventually Yihan couldn't hold himself and asked. Hwawoon answered him without hesitation.
"Today is the first time Jeongbin came to Jeongan Palace. I had done many wrongdoings towards Jeongbin, but fortunately, Jeongbin sees the effort I do in a good way."
After hearing the answer, Yihan's heart sank again. The reason was Yihan himself was the one who didn't see the efforts did by Yeonbin in a good way, insulted him more passionately than anyone else, and intensely did not believe him. There was obviously no sign of blaming or comparing Yihan to Jeongbin in Yeonbin's face as he gave the answer, but Yihan, who felt more guilty at that, moved his eyes around.
And fortunately, Ahjin came with new tea and snacks just in time. Yihan, who avoided Hwawoon's gaze, looked at Ahjin, and Hwawoon opened his mouth again.
"Speaking of which, Your Majesty… did you perhaps come here because you have something else to say to me?"
Ah…"
And Yihan once again remembered for what reason he came running into Jeongan Palace. However, when he was trying to say something, he suddenly felt at a loss at how he should say it to him.
The courtiers have their hearts flutter because you roam around the palace with such a beautiful face, so stop doing that right away!
Certainly, he couldn't say that because of the emperor's dignity.
"Well…"
Yihan uncharacteristically hesitated. This was undeniably a rare occasion for the Emperor, who never hesitated to talk whenever and in front of whoever. In addition, Hwawoon, who was in front of him, clearly showed his will to hear what the Emperor had to say and kept it in his mind. Yihan's face had already gotten hot at the will that hadn't been said out loud.
He couldn't tell him to not wear the male concubine clothes anymore. He also couldn't tell him to not act like a man when he actually was a man. Likewise, he couldn't tell him to not show his face because his face became gossip among the courtiers.
When he remembered the things he wanted to say but couldn't one by one, Yihan wondered if he had gotten crazy. Whether he said it out loud or not, the fact that he had such thoughts and the fact that he came this far because he wanted to say that were ridiculous enough that it couldn't be laughed at.
Besides, Hwawoon's expression, which waited for what he wanted to say, gave Yihan enormous pressure to certainly say anything—even though Hwawoon had no such intention. For these reasons, Yihan opened his mouth like a man pushed off a cliff.
"From next week, the program to set up relief centers in each region to distribute grain and food to the hungry people will begin."
As soon as the emperor's voice came out, Eunuch Oh, who was standing at the door, raised his head in surprise and looked at the back of the emperor's head. His surprised face at the unexpected remark was the same as Ahjin, who was standing across from him. This was because no one expected that to be uttered by the emperor, who had come all the way to Jeongan Palace at this time.
That applied more to Eunuch Oh, who knew too well what Yihan felt while he hastened to this place. Of course, Eunuch Oh had no power to cut the Emperor or to correct his words. Yihan, who couldn't help but go on despite knowing he had taken a wrong step, continued,
"Therefore… as I said last time, reduce your unnecessary expenses… and… you have to behave yourself…"
If he could, Yihan wanted to disappear from this place. He desperately wanted to get up and escape right away. His head was completely blank once he got flustered. It was such a wonder where his ability as the emperor to get through things properly in countless distressing situations ran away. Nothing came to his mind except the schedule of the relief program, which he coordinated with his ministers at this morning's inquiry.
I shouldn't have said anything. I should have said I just stop by. Feeling that Eunuch Oh was laughing at him even though he knew that was impossible, Yihan couldn't look at Hwawoon properly and only rolled his eyes and uncharacteristically wiggled his toes. He couldn't bear to look at Yeon Hwawoon's face when he thought he would look at him speechless.
Then, Yeon Hwawoon answered.
"Yes, Your Majesty. I'll keep it in my mind. The people will be deeply touched by your grace."
As soon as he heard the answer, Yihan's face was full of surprise. It was because he never thought that Hwawoon would take his very absurd words so casually. He thought for a moment that he might be sarcastically laughing at his words, but the face of Hwawoon, who looked directly at him, seemed to be taking Yihan's words seriously, so he felt dejected.
He questioned why there was no sign of disappointment, even though the emperor came to a concubine's residence just to say something that had no relation to him. Yihan wondered if this Yeon Hwawoon was really the one who made him fed up with his whining—asking why the emperor didn't come to his residence every day. Although this wasn't the first time he met this unfamiliar Hwawoon, he realized that unfamiliar change yet again and was taken aback.
"…"
But right at that moment, Yihan saw Hwawoon's expression turn serious. That was completely different from the expression of conforming to his words that he just saw. After Hwawoon changed, he used to see expressions that he had never seen before, but it was the first time he saw Hwawoon's face that fell into his own thoughts like now, so Yihan opened his mouth without realizing it.
"What are you thinking?"
"Ah…!"
Hwawoon, who briefly fell into his own deep thoughts, raised his eyes at Yihan's question that called his attention.
At that time, Hwawoon was remembering the days when he lived as Hawoon. The hunger, solitude, cold, and all that had always been with his life, and also with the lives around him.
He could just say nothing. Regardless of whether he wanted it or not, Hawoon's life had ended, and he now was living as Yeon Hwawoon, so he wondered if it was right for him to bring up something presumptuous about the days that had left him and wouldn't come back.
But even though it was something that he didn't experience anymore, for many people outside, it was still a life that they had to endure. Hwawoon, who took a deep breath, slowly rose and sat down on one knee in front of Yihan and opened his mouth.
"Your Majesty. I know this is presumptuous of me, but I want to say something about the relief center."
Once Yihan, who fixed his posture and turned serious at Hwawoon's attitude which he had never seen, said, 'say it," Hwawoon continued,
"I know that providing relief centers in every region to help the people isn't as easy as it sounds, and I also know well that it needs enormous manpower and capital. However, Your Majesty. If it's possible… can't you please make it so that those who are weaker between them don't get left out and can feel your grace?"
Not only Eunuch Oh, who was listening from behind, but also Ahjin, who also listened to what her master said, had their expressions turned pale. For the concubine, it had been taboo for generations to dare to put words on what the emperor does. Although this was not related to the important affairs of the nation, it was not something that could be easily said for a concubine who was not even the empress.
Ahjin couldn't understand why her master suddenly said such a dangerous plea to the Emperor when he surely knew about it. I just barely see the light now. A little bit of hope is starting to appear between the two of them, who had the worst relationship. Why does my master step forward in the affairs of the people outside the palace whom he has never cared about before? Ahjin was really anxious that the Emperor would yell and leave Jeongan Palace immediately.
The Emperor looked down at Hwawoon, who knelt in front of him with a stiff face and then opened his mouth.
"What makes you say that?"
The Emperor's low voice was so heavy that it was hard to read his emotions, but Hwawoon spoke again, indifferent to it as if he had already made a great resolution.
"Your Majesty, on a large scale, they're all the hungry people of you, but in fact, if you look closely, there are a lot of different lives. Even among the poor, the superiority of each other is very clear according to the power they have."
"…"
"Men become another power in them. Even in the lower class, women and children are at the bottom. Whether it's the relief program or anything, it can't feed all the people in the nation. Then eventually, powerless children and women will not even get a chance to be saved at all, or even if they are lucky enough to get some grains, it will be easily taken away."
It wasn't an assumption. It wasn't something he thought of after racking his brain poorly. He knew it because it was Hawoon's life. It was the life Hawoon suffered and endured as an orphan who had no parents to protect him.
No matter how virtuous and benevolent the emperor is, no matter how much the empress cares and loves the people, there are lives on the lowest that they will never know because they are sitting in the highest place in the world. It might be the same for him if he didn't know, but Hwawoon knew it and couldn't turn a blind eye to them all on the pretext that it had nothing to do with his life now.
"Of course I know you can't take care of them all. Also the fact that it's practically impossible. I also know that you are giving a grace that cannot be repaid just by caring for the circumstances of the people and opening a relief center. I am just… Your Majesty…"
There were too many deaths in Hawoon's life. The deaths that had no great meaning. Such poor, miserable deaths were scattered like grains of sand in the days of Hawoon's life. Those were not something that could be retrieved just because Hawoon lived in a palace with his status rising overnight.
But Hwawoon, as he always did; just like the days long ago when he cut and shared a dumpling that he barely got to the children younger than him. He just wanted to do whatever he could even now.
Please… please order people in charge of distributing grains to pay attention to the situation there a bit more. If you order them to protect the weaker people, who can't come closer, Your Majesty's grace that covered the sky and filled the lands will reach the lowest place… You will be able to get to the very place you wanted to take care of…"
"…"
"Your Majesty. You can punish me, a concubine who dares to be so arrogant to you, but I beg you to look at them one more time."
Silence hovered around Hwawoon's residence. The Emperor still said nothing, only looking at Hwawoon. Thus, no one dared to open their mouth first.
Is this really possible? Yihan mulled over that while looking at Hwawoon, who was kneeling before him. Is this Yeon Hwawoon, whom I'm looking at now, really possible? Is it true that this is within the scope of change just because of experiencing death?
To reflect is to look back on one's past. Regretting what they have done and making sure to not do it again. In that sense, the changes Yeon Hwawoon had shown so far were so sudden and intense, which wasn't only surprising but also could be seen as possible.
Being generous to the subordinates whom he used to bully in his spare time. Showing courtesy to the empress whom he usually treated rudely and profane. No longer clinging to the emperor and trying to deceive him. These things could be done by Yeon Hwawoon. It was enough to just act the opposite of what he had done before. If someone truly regrets the past, they can change their behavior.
But this one is impossible. Yihan thought that what Yeon Hwawoon told him just now was completely different from the above.
For Yeon Hwawoon, the people were nonexistent. He was born into one of the most recognized meritorious families in the nation, raised in a fine way, and now he was the concubine of the emperor and stayed inside the imperial palace. He was not a person who was obligated to take care of the people like the emperor or empress, and his nature itself was not a person who cared about the lives of the people and tried to look after them.
Those who starved outside were different from those who were tormented by Hwawoon at the Jeongan Palace. In other words, they have never entered Hwawoon's life, and Hwawoon was not the one who took a look at them.
But that Yeon Hwawoon—no matter how much he reflected on his past life—became so interested in their lives that he understood, cared for them in a day, and even told the emperor how to deal with them? Yihan couldn't tell if this really made sense.
After a long silence, Yihan opened his mouth.
"… Get up now."
"…"
"I… I got what you mean."
Won't His Majesty get angry? Won't he fly into a rage, asking how dare you to meddle in the affairs of the nation? Hwawoon, who was having such thoughts in the prolonged silence, looked up at the emperor with surprised eyes because his voice to him was too soft.
The emperor's eyes, which he saw, seemed to be a bit surprised and confused, but he didn't look angry, so he felt like he was drained at once. Hwawoon, who had lost strength all over his body at once, couldn't get up easily and just look at Yihan. And Yihan, who breathed a short sigh, immediately reached out one hand to Hwawoon.
Just like what he did at Suhwawon. Reaching out a firm and warm hand, Yihan said,
"It was… something I didn't think of."
"…"
"You have… enlightened me."
Hwawoon had no choice but to realize once again at that moment. That his emperor was this kind of person from the start. From the moment Hawoon first crossed paths with the emperor, that person was the one who wanted to bend his back as much as he could to look at and lead the lives of the people.
Willing to listen and accept what he has to hear for the people under any circumstances. Therefore, if it was truly for the people, even if it was something that Yeon Hwawoon said, he was ready to listen to it. Hwawoon felt the sincerity of such a wise emperor to the bones right there.
He couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. Hwawoon had no idea how to not truly respect and admire such a person in his heart. Without knowing it, Hwawoon wrapped the emperor's hand with his two hands and put his forehead on them, and said,
"Your grace… is immeasurable, Your Majesty."
Although Hawoon happened to face the Emperor that day which led him to come far to this palace and eventually died in vain, because his emperor was such a good person, Hwawoon never regretted the choice of the day when he entered the palace only because of that one person.
"Seocheon! Seocheon!"
After finishing his shift, Domyung hurriedly visited Seocheon, who just washed up and got ready to sleep. Soon after finding Seocheon sitting in one corner, Domyung, who hurried to approach him, raised his voice and shouted even before asking Seocheon the details.
"What are you up to?!"
"What are you talking about all of a sudden?"
"You…! I heard you asked to be moved to Jeongan Palace!"
Seocheon finally realized why Domyung suddenly got enraged this much. When Seocheon made a calm sound, ah…, with an expression that it was nothing big, Domyung, who distorted his face, sat down next to Seocheon and continued.
"Seriously, what are you up to?"
"Nothing. I heard there were not enough people in Jeongan Palace, so I just said I would go."
"Hey, don't try to fool me even if you can fool others. I know you still can't sleep thinking about Hawoon every night, but you said you're going to Jeongan Palace for nothing?!"
Domyung found out that Seocheon was blaming Yeonbin for Hawoon's death. Of course, that couldn't be said to be utterly wrong, but that didn't mean that Yeonbin jumped into the water to kill Hawoon. Hawoon was not forced by anyone to jump into the water, but it was entirely his will to throw himself to save Yeonbin. Domyung sincerely thought that he could not only blame Yeonbin for the incident.
Of course, Domyung also thought that Yeonbin drowned on purpose to buy the emperor's sympathy, so it was also understandable that the death felt unfair and resentful from the perspective of caring for Hawoon. But Hawoon was already dead and there was no turning back. Domyung was worried that Seocheon might make a big mistake because he was clinging to that incident.
Domyung continued speaking to Seocheon, who gave no answer.
"I'm begging you as a close friend. If you're going to do something stupid, please stop here. Okay?"
"… It's not like that, so don't worry, and let's just sleep."
"Man, seriously. I can't die peacefully at this rate. It's going to take a few days for your move, so please give it a good thought and change your mind!"
At Seocheon's expression, which was unbothered no matter what he said, Domyung stood up, pounding his chest as if he was frustrated. He wouldn't change once he made up his mind no matter what others said to him, so it would only frustrate him more if he kept talking. Domyung just wished Seocheon wouldn't do anything to ruin his life under the emotions of the moment.
Seocheon, who was alone again once Domyung had left, pulled a handkerchief out of his own arms and looked at it. It was Hawoon's handkerchief that he once wrapped around Seocheon's injured hand. After hearing that Yeonbin personally put a handkerchief around a court lady's hand, Seocheon was thinking about Hawoon's handkerchief the whole time.
Seocheon himself knew—that he had to let go of the dead person. Even though Yeonbin was the most terrible person in the world, he did not intentionally kill Hawoon, so Seocheon knew that blaming him was not the right thing to do. So he tried his best to forget about it.
However, as if to ridicule Seocheon's efforts, Yeonbin's name continued to spread throughout the palace after Hawoon's death. It spread not because of the vicious things he usually did. How Yeonbin changed after returning from his death. How affectionate he was and how kind he was to his subordinates. How beautiful and noble he looked. Those words even reached Seocheon's ears.
Seocheon then couldn't help but think about who was truly kind, who cared for and took care of those who were weaker than him, and who was truly beautiful and noble. All the words Yeon Hwawoon was hearing right now were, in fact, the most appropriate evaluation for Hawoon than anyone else.
So when he heard such words toward Yeonbin, Seocheon felt like something was taken away even though it was not his. The man who drove Hawoon to death. The person who made Hawoon die so vainly now seemed to have taken even the character of Hawoon as his own. He felt resentful and unfair even though he knew it wasn't the proper emotion.
Even though he knew it was a vain obsession. Even though he knew it was a lingering feeling and emotion that would not help him or the deceased Hawoon, he couldn't sort out his mind. Thus, Seocheon came to think that he should go to Jeongan Palace and watch him closely.
He didn't know exactly what he wanted. Whether he just wanted to stay where Hawoon was at his last moment, whether he wanted to take off the mask that Yeonbin was wearing, or whether he just wanted to get revenge on Yeonbin for Hawoon's death.
"Why do you train foolishly until your hand hurts like this?"
Late at night, he remembered the voice of Hawoon, who wrapped a handkerchief around his blistered hand and nagged him with an upset voice as if it was his hand that was injured.
Maybe all this lingering feeling was about his heart not being able to say everything he wanted to say to him.
In the night when nothing was certain, Seocheon just swallowed a lot of emotions.
"Even so, please don't ever do that again, Your Highness…"
Massaging Hwawoon's hand in warm water, Ahjin opened her mouth in an exhausted voice. Ahjin still thought about what happened during the day, and her heart was beating violently and her legs were shaking, making it hard to stand properly. Hwawoon, who had been lost in thought for a while, looked up at Ahjin due to her voice that seemed to burst into tears at any moment, and soon said in a soft voice.
"Yeah, I won't do it again."
"Please keep your words…"
"Okay okay. I'm sorry to startle you."
Ahjin, who looked at the face of her master who was really good at answering with a sour expression, wiped Hwawoon's hands, which had returned to warmth after being dipped in warm water, and lost in thought.
She thought there was no more surprise about the change in her master, but what happened today was really shocking to Ahjin, who accepted and supported the change in Hwawoon earlier than anyone else.
Her master, since childhood, thought he was the most important person in the world for the pain he felt, so he was a person who had never even sympathized with those who were weak or in need. The kind of person who felt uncomfortable with the dirty dirt on his clothes when a hungry and dirty child grabbed the hem of his clothes while walking on the street.
But what was the behavior her master showed today? He spoke out for those at the lowest place, willing to take the blame for his involvement in the emperor's work as a concubine. If Ahjin hadn't heard it right by his side, she would never have believed it.
Perhaps that's why Ahjin, who was looking at Hwawoon while holding the towel that had wiped all the water from his hands, suddenly thought that her master's face looked so unfamiliar. She thought she could now draw his eyes and mouth with her eyes closed because they had been together for a long time, but at this moment, the face of the person sitting in front of her was not familiar as if she had never seen it before.
"Ahjin…?"
Hwawoon noticed that Ahjin suddenly stood blankly and only looked at him. When he called her name, Ahjin, who was surprised, answered with her shoulders shaking, "yes?" When she collected her gaze, which had been blurred for a while, she saw Hwawoon's face looking at her with a worried expression.
"It seems like I made you so surprised. Go and take a rest now. Okay?"
The raised voice, saying okay? was so sweet that she felt strange. Today, in particular, she thought that she did not know why even that kindness of his was so unfamiliar.
"Your Highness…"
"… What's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"
Hwawoon, who had a down expression for a moment at the sight of Ahjin who continued to look unwell, hurriedly rose from his seat and took a step closer to Ahjin to check her complexion. Ahjin, who was quietly looking at Hwawoon who was taking a look if she was sick with delicate eyes, soon took a step back and shook her head.
"No. I'm not, Your Highness. Just like what you said, I think it's because I am so surprised today."
"Hm… Now I'm going to lie down, so you go now and take a rest."
"Yes. I will do it, Your Highness."
Ahjin, who curled up her lips so that her master wouldn't worry more, grasped the towel in her hand and quickly cleared her mind. His Highness is only changed after going through a big accident and losing his memory. Isn't the familiar face in front of me the proof? I think today's event was really a big shock. Thinking so, Ahjin began to arrange the bedding of Hwawoon with a familiar movement.
These strange feelings today would all disappear when she woke up.
"Your Majesty… it's late. Why don't you go in now…"
Eunuch Oh uncharacteristically talked to the emperor with an uneasy expression. The reason was that Yihan had been walking aimlessly in Suhwawon at night for an hour. From the perspective of Eunuch Oh, it was natural to be worried because he hardly ate, worked until late, and then wandered aimlessly like this.
However, Yihan did not even spare a glance at Eunuch Oh, and still took steps in silence. Eunuch Oh could not dare to guess what kind of thoughts were reflected in the shadowed emperor's face. However, since he had been dark-faced since he talked with Yeonbin at Jeongan Palace today, he vaguely thought it must be related to him.
And so, a long moment passed again. Suddenly, Yihan opened his mouth.
"If he really lost his memory, he must feel like he is in another world."
At that time, Yihan's eyes were facing forward, but what he was seeing was the appearance of someone else, not the view of Suhwawon in front of him, so Eunuch Oh swallowed his answer without realizing it and kept his mouth shut. Yihan then continued,
"If nothing comes to mind, but everyone around him hates him, is afraid, and doesn't believe anything he says, how horrified and terrified he would have been."
Yihan was recalling the day when he first visited Jeongan Palace after Hwawoon drowned and woke up. He was wondering what he said after making the person, who hasn't even recovered properly yet, kneel before him. Wondering what words he used to ignore and blame him, every time each word flashed through his mind, Yihan bit his lips because his heart seemed to be sinking every time.
"Every time he listened to me ignoring, mocking, and insulting every effort he made… whenever that happened…"
At Suhwawon, when they met by chance; at Jeongan Palace, where the courtiers looked at him scorning him; Yihan could not even look back on how Yeon Hwawoon's face and expression in front of him were. He felt afraid. Now, Yihan was so afraid that that person might have been enduring his painful and sad expression.
"How… How lonely, solitary, and sick he must have been…"
"Your Majesty… It was inevitable. Since His Highness Yeonbin's past actions were like that, how could you believe all those words at once…?"
At the words of Eunuch Oh, Yihan stopped and looked endlessly at somewhere on the road shone by moonlight. Yihan also knew. Anyone who knew Yeon Hwawoon's past track record would have had no choice but to act like Yihan. Rather, Yihan himself knew that he had treated him amiably compared to what he had done.
But when he thought of Hwawoon who knelt in front of him today and begged him to take care of the weaker and lower people. When he thought about Yeon Hwawoon, who put his forehead on the back of his hand, thanking him as if he had been saved. When he thought about those.
Then Yihan was reminded of Yeon Hwawoon's night, the night in which he gave him harsh words. The night of Yeon Hwawoon, where he had to kneel, reflect, and bow his head every time because of the past that he couldn't even remember. The feelings of that day.
"… So, it is not unreasonable for Yeon Hwawoon to be so undisturbed about me."
"…"
"Someone who has been pouring vicious words into him every single day he remembers. Who on earth could…"
Who on earth could love that person? He probably won't even remember the days he fell in love with me.
Yihan couldn't keep up with the last words, and he couldn't say those words that came to mind clearly. The relationship between the emperor and the concubine is a relationship where there is no reason for feelings like love or whatever to intervene, and those feelings were not something that the emperor himself could share with a concubine.
"I still couldn't be someone worthy of your trust, Your Majesty."
Yihan recalled words that Hwawoon gave to him as if he were consoling him, who was very confused. Yihan now really didn't want to count the feelings of Yeon Hwawoon when he had to say those words out of his mouth.
"… Let's go back to Anjeong Palace."
After a while, the emperor's steps turned around. It was another night when emotions that could not be answered were piled up one after another.
Lying on the bed, Hwawoon looked down at his hands. It had been a while since the emperor returned, but Hwawoon couldn't take his eyes off while continuously clenched and relaxed his fists because that person's warmth seemed to remain in his hands.
The voice of the emperor, who said that he had not thought that far without nitpicking him, lingered in his ears. Yet there was more. Even though the atmosphere was like thin ice that both Eunuch Oh and Ahjin were frozen, he reached out his hand to him, who was kneeling, and did not hold him responsible until he left.
The corner of his lips kept stretching up without him knowing. His fingertips throbbed and his face also furtively flushed. His heart was strangely full, and he felt like running to the streets where he had lived and screaming, 'our Emperor is very a benevolent man,' if he could.
No, no, maybe that was not what he really wanted to say. The reason why Hwawoon was so happy, excited, and unable to sleep wouldn't simply be because the emperor was a wise emperor.
So, Hwawoon—he felt like he was recognized.
That his choice wasn't wrong. Even though he had gone through many things, it was by no means wrong for him to walk down a long road to stay next to the emperor. Therefore, he didn't need to regret anything.
He felt like that was recognized—feeling that he had proved it. Even if he went back to that day, he could be so sure that Hawoon would come to this place where the Emperor is without hesitation.
Hence, Hwawoon smiled. The emperor's voice, touch, and breath were all so vivid that it was a night when he seemed to be unable to sleep.
"Eunuch Oh."
The Empress, who was sitting facing Yihan and was having a luncheon, suddenly called Eunuch Oh in a heavy voice. And Yihan, who had been barely eating while thinking about other things, turned his head as well and looked at the Empress. Jaran didn't look at Yihan and then said to Eunuch Oh, who answered, "yes, Your Majesty." while bowing his back.
"Why didn't you tell me anything until His Majesty's face became so bad?"
Yihan opened his eyes wide at the unexpected words from the Empress, and Eunuch Oh immediately kneeled and said while bowing his head.
"Forgive me, Your Majesty the Empress. Please punish this person for failing to do his duty properly and for his lack of devotion to His Majesty."
"No, no…"
Yihan hesitated, being flustered by the grave atmosphere between the Empress and Eunuch Oh while he himself didn't even think about it, then quickly continued,
"It's not like that, Empress."
"Your Majesty, did you have a good sleep last night?"
"Well, that…"
"Your complexion is not good enough to be seen at a glance. I'm sure you're not having a good lunch because you don't have any appetite."
Every word the Empress said really touched on Yihan's current state so accurately that Yihan got speechless and just closed his mouth. However, it was entirely the emperor's will to wander around Suhwawon until dawn without listening to Eunuch Oh, who persuaded him to take a rest. In other words, it was not something that Eunuch Oh dared to negotiate.
"Is there anything more important than His Majesty's body? If you couldn't handle it yourself, you should have told me, the empress, before things became like this."
"…"
"Am I wrong, Eunuch Oh?"
The Empress's words meant that she knew that the emperor ruined his health himself without listening to Eunuch Oh. She was scolding Eunuch Oh that he should have told her, the empress, so that they could take care of the emperor even if she had to move personally. Therefore, what would this mean aside from the Empress scolding the Emperor for not listening to Eunuch Oh and ruining his own health?
Yihan, who thought that far, eased his flustered expression, then looked at the Empress with an awkward smile, and Eunuch Oh bowed his head again.
"You are absolutely right, Your Majesty the Empress. Please punish this person who was careless."
But it was the Emperor who opened his mouth first before the Empress answered it.
"… It was my fault. So, Empress, relax your mind."
At that moment, the eyes of the Empress, Jaran, left Eunuch Oh and turned to Yihan. From the time she was in the royal residence until now, she had always been wary of, scolding, and encouraging Yihan from time to time. Her eyes were the eyes of the closest loyalist. Jaran, who looked at Yihan without saying a word for a while, spoke to Eunuch Oh, who was kneeling.
"His Majesty is someone who's already going down the most difficult path in the history of the nation. You have to pay more attention, so he won't worry about anything else."
"Yes, Your Majesty. I will keep it in mind."
"Get up now."
So he won't worry about anything else.
The Empress purposely emphasized that utterance. Yihan seemed to listen to and regarded it lightly, but Jaran, who saw Eunuch Oh's eyes turn sharp for a moment, noticed that he had realized her implication.
Yihan did not seem to realize what he was so disturbed by that he could not sleep, so if it was the responsibility of those who served the emperor to remind him of it. Then how far will the Empress fulfill her responsibility? Eunuch Oh, who couldn't bear to ask the empress, just stood up and bowed his head.
"Bring this to Jinnyeong Residence."
"Jinnyeong Residence?"
Ahjin looked at her master with surprised eyes and asked back. Jinnyeong Residence referred to Jeongbin's palace, but Hwawoon told her to bring the steaming osmanthus rice cake that she just made to that place. In spite of Ahjin's question, Hwawoon replied with a nonchalant expression.
"Last time I saw her, she seemed to like osmanthus rice cake, but because His Majesty came, she couldn't eat much and returned. Since we're making it, it'd be nice to share it."
However, despite Hwawoon's answer, Ahjin wriggled her lips with an unwilling expression. Just as all the courtiers in other palaces did not believe that Hwawoon had changed, Ahjin could not believe in Jeongbin, who suddenly pretended to be close to her master.
Isn't she Jeongbin who will not lose to anyone with her bad feelings towards Yeonbin? Of course, since her master had done something to her, Ahjin didn't want to argue about it either, but it was very suspicious that Jeongbin was sticking to her master so much that she came all the way to Jeongan Palace in one day.
"Do you really need to do that, Your Highness…?"
Her master as of now was so beautiful and tender that if someone approached him with a bad intention, he would definitely get hurt, so Ahjin, who was forced to be more vigilant, once again said in a tone of reluctance. Hwawoon without a doubt paid her no heed.
"Don't act like that and bring it to her. How grateful I am for her being the person who accepted me and approached me first."
However, in following Hwawoon's words, Ahjin couldn't help but surrender. It was because she was reminded of how her master's efforts, which always got ignored, turned to be a pain in his heart, though he did not express it. Suddenly feeling dejected, Ahjin answered, "yes…". Looking at that, Hwawoon talked with a brighter voice as if he was cheering Ahjin up.
"By the way, if all the snacks are ready, tell everyone to gather and eat. You have to take care of every single one of them, okay?"
Ahjin's expression turned bright again at those words. Jeongan Palace was in an atmosphere where everyone was excited and noisy as never before because, under the command of her master, she decided to make snacks today and share them with the girls of Jeongan Palace.
The ingredients for the food that were distributed to each palace were actually always more than necessary. In particular, the expensive and good ingredients could only be eaten by the owner of the palace, and it was unacceptable to send poor ingredients to the Majesty Emperor's concubines, so the amount was bound to come so much that it could not be eaten alone. As a result, the remaining ingredients would go bad over time.
However, a few days ago, Hwawoon, who found out that the thrown-away food was overflowing every time, made a suggestion first. Let's eat them together; saying he can't eat it all by himself, so wouldn't it be good to make delicious food and share it with everyone?
Needless to say, how many times did Ahjin bite her lip to keep her from crying when she first heard those words? Ahjin had never heard of or imagined a master who thinks of sharing luxurious food with their subordinates just because it is thrown away. It was only natural that the young courtiers in Jeongan Palace who heard the words from Ahjin on that day were all in tears.
"Yes, Your Highness. I'll take care of everything so that everyone can eat it."
"And this…"
Hwawoon noticed that Ahjin's voice was a little wet, but he didn't want to show any sympathy for no reason, so he pretended not to know, and this time, he looked at the box that was prepared more splendidly than anything else. Ahjin, who sniffed once, quickly accepted the order.
"This too… I will deliver this safely to His Majesty."
Even if the emperor didn't want it, even though this was only such an insignificant thing, Hwawoon wanted to express his gratitude to the Emperor.