a/n: happy update.

Chapter 6:

Give

She was supposed to be able to sleep, but somehow the state eluded her. And because she resisted the urge to fall, it just made everything worse.

And she couldn't get their faces out of her head.

Their eyes, shocking green, and warm blue. They were swimming in her head. She paced at the foot of the bed.

Because all she had wanted to do was jump into their arms, and kiss their faces. And they just wanted to kill her, or capture her. The details were a little blurry. But the point was that they were alive, which is what she wanted, so she should be happy. And she was. But it was bittersweet on her tongue.

And she regretted running. She should have stayed, and fought them. She had been outnumbered, but in the past that wouldn't have shaken her at all. She thought back to her scuffle with Tom in Borgin and Burkes. She didn't think that had shook her at all. Maybe it had.

It was fine. She didn't really believe too much in failure. The only way you truly failed, was if you gave up. It was the Gryffindor in her. After she was done with her mission, she would find them, and everything would be back to the way it was to the extent that it could be.

A sort of wave of sadness washed over her then, because the thought happened in the back of her mind: How separate and over the good things were, and how they would never happen, and so have never happened, and that she was the sole keeper of those experiences, and such.

She wanted to go back then. She wanted to be back there again, safe, and whole, and everything.

She knew that was stupid though, because she wasn't stupid. She understood what she was sacrificing, before she had started. Her mind knew that. Her heart still whinged about it, though, in a way that choked her up.

She shoved the feeling down.

There wasn't anything to read in the damn room. Just a dresser and a large mirror in a gaudy frame to see how rough she looked. There were two night stands, finished with black varnish, and a set of armchairs which looked ancient, but never sat in.

And it was then, she realized she didn't know where her bag was. Panic froze her over.

She searched the pile of discarded clothing. At least she still had her wand.

She lit it and headed down the hall in search of the library. Every mansion had a library. It was just the rules.

And Tom was what came to mind. And he talked to her. He said, "Come down for a walk. You look like you could use some air."

"What are you doing up?"

He scoffed, "Couldn't sleep." He offered her his arm, as they reached the staircase down to the main floor.

"I don't believe you."

"What are you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep."

The gardens really were beautiful.

She asked, "Are you trying to become Minister? Is that why I saw you at the ministry?"

"I don't need to be Minister. If anything it may be a natural consequence but that is not my goal for the sake of goals. Do you have any political aspirations?"

"Not really."

"What is it that you want?"

"I'm interested in learning everything."

"For what reason?"

"I haven't decided yet." She didn't like the way he was looking at her. She evaded his gaze, but there really wasn't anywhere to go. So she said, "I want to protect the people I love. I want to make things right."

The summer night was clouded over, but the air was still and tepid. He said, "You knew them, didn't you?"

"I knew them."

"Who are they to you?"

"Old friends. I think they don't approve of my association with you. That's my assumption, they didn't say anything of the sort. I did try talking to them. They just called me crazy."

"What did they want?"

She shook her head, "To stop me, that's what they said. I can't really figure out what they mean."

"You can stay here, until we find them. It's protected by ages on protective magic. It'll be much safer than a tent in the woods."

"I like my tent in the woods."

"Please, Hermione."

"I'm not trying to be difficult. I just, I don't know these people." She gestured to the manor.

"Because the people you know are so concerned for your safety. These are my most trusted associates. You'll be safe, and taken care of. And once you're rested, I have a task for you."

"I'm rested."

He raised a brow. "Okay. There's an object. I've been made aware of its existence from a loyal client. There was a theft. Although theft is a funny word, since she had no right to have it in her possession in the first place. There's a locket which belongs to me. I need it. Bring it to me, and I'll consider your loyalty proven."

"Why would I be interested in proving my loyalty?"

"So you can get closer to me."

Her heart skipped a beat. "Why would you think that's something that I want?"

"Isn't it?" He stepped closer.

"Why are you protecting me?"

"I want you on my side."

"Yeah that's probably a good idea."

He laughed.

She pushed his shoulder, and he caught her wrist.

That heat swirled between them. He put one hand on her hip, and kissed her. She kissed him back. It was just for the moment. Only for a second. It is what she wanted, afterall. She wanted him close to her, so he couldn't do anything wrong. If he was there, he couldn't be out there, being a menace.

She reached and dragged her fingers through his hair. She felt blood rush into her cheeks, as he pulled her closer into him.

How could she make it worse? If all of this had already happened. How could any of this make any of it worse?

It was only one step further.

He lowered them onto the grass. She liked the weight of him on top of her. She kept kissing him. She was asking him to be different.

He pulled back. His face was flushed, and she was entranced by it. He pulled at her robes to untie them, and she let him. She let him slide his hand underneath, and over. She felt him stick his fingers inside, and felt it as he curled his fingers slightly to press into the right spot.

Her thoughts were gone. Everything was blurry, and it was all just him. Nothing really existed before, or after. Because how could it? She couldn't fathom it. She just watched him. She reached and touched the skin of his shoulders, and down his back.

She dug her nails in as she came. He kissed along her neck and chest. Then he was fucking her. She wrapped her legs around her waist. She closed her eyes. She wanted to stay there forever.

But when it was over, at least she couldn't make it any worse. At least it was done. She couldn't possibly mess it up any further.

He laid next to her a moment, before sitting, and finding his shirt to button back up. She covered herself, and he helped her up.