Chapter II: Oliver's Post-Wedding Contemplations

Author's Note: This time around it's Oliver's POV. He was incredibly difficult to write, but ironically enough this chapter turned out longer than the previous one. Once again, big thanks to Rhonda, because without her I think I would've thrown in the towel!

It was convenient for Oliver that Shane decided to take a minute and retreat for a bit to the ladies' lounge. He wanted the time to make sure the arrangements he made for the suite at the Brown Palace were in order. As he checked everything out, his thoughts started to wander.

He remembered that day a few years ago, when a spunky beautiful blonde cut in line and stepped in front of him at the coffee cart. He wouldn't admit to her or anyone else he had no clue how to order a cup of coffee. Putting him out of his misery while fulfilling her own need for expedient service, she bought him a black coffee while they exchanged some witty banter. Little did he know his life would change dramatically, starting with this first encounter.

Back then he was holding on to the hope his flighty then-wife might return to him after years away. He knew now their marriage was a huge mistake, but at the time, he was head over heels in lust with Holly. For him that sort of passion only belonged between a married couple. When she proposed, he jumped at the chance to make things right, not realizing his error in judgement. Of course, hindsight being 20/20, he now knew it was part of his life's journey; something he had to go through to learn an enormous lesson.

Oliver sighed. He should have cut his losses back then when he realized his mistake, but to Oliver, marriage and commitment were sacred. So, he tried whatever he could to make the marriage work instead of moving on. He finally realized certain things had to happen in such a way for him to be able to heal. The addition of Shane to their little group at the DLO had been providential. She came in, stirred things up, got him out of his shell and helped him mend.

He was so thankful Shane didn't end up in Direct Line Operations! It was, as it turned out, divine intervention that brought her to their little group. With her IT knowledge, she brought the edge they needed to bring the lofty pursuits of the DLO to a whole new level. She brought even more than her technical savvy to the job… she brought her insatiable curiosity and her passionate nature. It took a while for him to get used to the way she worked, but as he saw her get more and more involved with each dead letter project, it was difficult not to get caught up in her whirlwind. He couldn't resist enjoying her company, nor the dynamic that she brought to their foursome. They had indeed become a family; one that enjoyed each other's company; relishing being there for the good times and standing by each other during bad times.

His mind wandered back to the first time he felt and recognized real stirrings of something… was it attraction?... to Shane. He had been taking dance lessons in hopes of dancing with Holly upon her return from Paris. As a substitute for Louise, his absent dance partner, and a means to escape Rita's offer to fill in, he had asked Shane to be his partner. He still winced to this very day when he recalled how he had exclaimed: "I don't want a nice lady! I want you!" He could still remember her face. She was, shall we say, unimpressed by his turn of phrase? She agreed to do it anyway and he remembered how grateful he was she said yes.

Everything went well and they both were enjoying dancing together until…. the fateful dip in the DLO where Oliver came perilously close to a kiss that would have broken his marital vows. Everything between him and Shane changed in an instant, like a loud thunderclap, followed by a torrential rain!

Many things followed that unexpected turn of events. There were emotions he couldn't express, feelings he couldn't admit. When they were locked in the bank vault reading through Jonathan and Katherine's letters, he lost himself in them. He lived vicariously through Jonathan and Katherine, imagining himself the hero of their story and Shane its heroine. Not once did he have any thoughts of Holly. As they continued reading and realized the couple's love story might not have the happy ending they expected, Shane burst into tears. He felt an enormous need to protect her. He had to show her that everything would be alright. As Oliver embraced and comforted Shane, Jonathan and Katherine's words echoed in his head: "Why did I let you go?" He realized then he couldn't let go of Shane. He needed her in his life, even if for now, she could only be his colleague and friend.

Oliver needed to take care of his situation with Holly. He had written a letter to her while sequestered in the vault. He held onto that letter for a while, as he was frightened by what might happen after Holly received it. He knew everything would change, one way or another. When he finally mailed it, it was with a heavy heart. Was he doing the right thing? Mrs. Ardis Parker-Pennington-Paine had so eloquently spoken to him about facing the scary in his life. He needed to get himself out of limbo and free his heart once and for all. After depositing that fateful letter in the mailbox, he turned to see Shane had followed him out into the torrential rain. He could only look at her, hope she understood why he had to mail that letter and why he had to reject her heart at that moment. Oliver prayed quite fervently for a prompt resolution. He wanted to follow his heart and move forward with Shane, but he needed Holly to release him.

Oliver had still not received a response from Holly when Christmas arrived. This particular Christmas would forever live on in his mind and heart. He knew it was part of the Almighty's perfect plan that he deliver Shane's letter to God back to her. He was being used as the vessel to restore her hope and belief in Christmas. Oliver also knew Shane was put in his path for a purpose. As each day passed, he knew she was the woman who would complete him. She had been so beautiful the night of the Postal Ball. He had been rendered speechless when he saw her walk in alongside Rita, looking so elegant and radiant in her deep red formal gown. But, seeing Shane with Jordan dancing their steps…well, it sent him over the edge, making him absolutely green with jealousy. He remembered how he reacted! He could laugh about it now, but all he wanted to do then was punch the guy. Instead, he chugged punch as Rita and Norman looked at him in bewilderment. He finally decided to cut in and claim his dance with Shane. While he couldn't shake his snarky demeanor, he was ecstatic to have her in his arms again. He knew then and there he needed to set a course of action so he could finally be free to pursue her.

Thankfully, even though he was loath to admit it, Shane's meddling triggered the events that finally resolved the state of his marriage to Holly. He was relieved when they officially parted ways. Oliver now knew everything that happened in his life was part of God's perfect plan. He now knew he had needed the lessons his whirlwind courtship, hasty wedding and its aftermath taught him. Friendship was the true foundation for a solid relationship and physical passion belonged within the confines of marriage. He married Holly to justify lustful acts, letting passion and lust steer him in the wrong direction. There was no friendship with her, no common ground, just attraction. He thought getting married would assuage the guilt he felt, but it didn't. It was a marriage doomed from the start. He shouldn't have been surprised that Holly bolted when she did, but it left him nursing a broken heart for a long time, nonetheless.

Thankfully, time does heal! There were still bumpy times ahead before he could finally take things with Shane to the next level. After some angst, miscommunications and misunderstandings (the Valentine card mix-up and that unfortunate first dinner at Montaldo's came to mind…), Oliver thought things were finally moving in the right direction during their first official date at the Ephlat lounge. He didn't know what he'd expected that night, but he was floored when Shane opened the door to greet him. He was mesmerized by her beauty and the words "You look beautiful" burst out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Oliver was rewarded with her gorgeous smile. He was also thrilled she picked up on little details, like the knot of his tie. He saved the Windsor knot for special occasions and that evening certainly was one.

That evening he found himself totally enthralled by her. He hung on to her every word as she described the difference between the blues and jazz. Everything she said exuded beauty, depth, intelligence, and sensibility. He had to keep the napkin she doodled on as she talked. It was too dear to leave behind or throw out and it would be a lovely memento of their evening together. Oliver was already planning to kiss her that night. He had visualized it in his head for months. It would happen on her porch where they would sit on the swing he gave her for her birthday. Then he would make his move… put his arm around her and find the right moment to claim her lips with his. He just couldn't wait! When Shane suggested he come over to look at the swing to check out a squeak, he jumped at the chance and asked for the check.

They left the lounge and headed for the stairs. Her stumble in front of the steps of the Ephlat Lounge startled him, but his protective instinct had him grab her hands and hold on to them so she wouldn't get hurt. When he asked whether he should call a cab, she looked at him endearingly and said she didn't want to because she would have to let go of him. Oliver thought this was the perfect moment for their first kiss, so Oliver stepped in closer as did Shane, but a blasting car horn interrupted the moment. They started up the stairs, Oliver leading the way. He felt a slight tug on his hand as he was going up those steps. Trust Shane to be ten paces ahead of him, letting him know she was more than ready for what he was planning! He turned to face her. Shane gazed at him with a beautiful smile, full of longing. She drew him towards her like a magnet and their lips found each other's in the sweetest and most tender of kisses. It was brief because they were outside, it was raining and Oliver was no fan of public displays of affection, but… all these sensibilities faded into the background as he got completely lost in her kiss and his breath was taken away.

Oliver to this day still couldn't believe how that evening had been starkly interrupted by Homeland Security and Mr. Steve Marek. As much as he didn't want her to leave with Steve and wanted her to stay with him, he knew Shane had to make her own decision, so he kept his thoughts to himself. When she decided to leave, he felt bereft, but hoped it would only be a few weeks. He never would've guessed she would be gone for 3 months!

Three months…12 weeks…84 days…2016 hours…120, 960 minutes without the comfort of knowing Shane was nearby. It had been excruciating, doing his best to survive all that time without her. He knew now with certainty he was deeply in love with her and could not live without her. He found some solace in taking care of her roses, picking up her mail and trying out various kombucha smoothie recipes to surprise her upon her return. One night after Shane had been absent for almost 3 months, he joined in a game of poker with his dad, Rita, Norman and Ramon. Their conversation focused on Hattie and Gabe and the uncertainty around Hattie's whereabouts. "No man should wait forever for someone who's never going to come." Oliver uttered those words, as they deliberated telling Gabe the truth about Hattie. They didn't know if she had survived Hurricane Katrina. As the words left his mouth, he realized he was making yet another mistake. A dull ache burned in the pit of his stomach as he realized he was repeating a pattern with Shane. He had waited for his mother and Holly to return, and there he was…doing the same thing with Shane. Since the definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again, all the while expecting a different result, he decided, with some wise prompting by Norman, to go to Washington, DC and find out anything he could about Shane's whereabouts and hopefully bring her back home with him.

Oliver absolutely loathed Steve at this point…but he kept himself under control while talking with him at first. He wasn't about to let the man get the best of him. Who in Sam Hill was in or out of the country? As he was about to give Mr. Marek a good piece of his mind, who did he see walking towards them? Could it be? Could it be his Ms. McInerney, his Shane? It was her indeed! He was so relieved to finally see her and the beautiful smile she gave him across the corridor. Also in that moment, he realized Steve was capable of lying to get what he wanted.. and that included Shane!

Their reunion did not go the way either one of them had imagined it would. It was stilted and full of unspoken feelings, hurt, longing and incorrect assumptions. He almost lost it when he realized Shane had a cellphone and hadn't seen fit to even attempt to communicate with him or anyone in Colorado. He wondered how much influence Mr. Marek had over her and if she really wanted to return to Denver. When he saw her face as he asked for his pen back, he almost begged her to return with him, but he knew she had to come to that decision on her own. He turned and walked away, leaving her to ponder if Steve had been truthful, while emphasizing that he could never lie to her.

Upon his return to Denver, he was truly happy about reuniting Gabe and Hattie, and Rita and Norman's engagement. However, he was also so very sad. He felt an overall malaise he could only attempt to walk off, and walk he did through the night. He saw Shane everywhere, every little thing reminded him of her. He felt so intensely lonely without her. The words that echoed through his head were his dad's… if he ever got to kiss her again, to take his time. He vowed this would be the case, and he prayed…he prayed fervently God would provide the opportunity for this to happen. He couldn't lose her again. He was not going to let her go if God brought her back into his life.

This was the case of a prayer that received an almost immediate answer. Oliver made his way to the DLO where he felt closest to Shane during her absence to seek some solace and peace. As he walked in, he saw her desk was moved back and her coat on the rack next to his hat… he stopped dead in his tracks and held his breath as he saw his desk chair swivel around. Shane was back! Everything that happened next felt like a blur. They exchanged some heated words, the subtext of which included pain, deep longing, and unspoken love as Shane quickly unraveled in front of him. He instinctively reached out for her, grabbed her hand, spun her around and finally kissed her the way he had always wanted to kiss her. Their kisses mingled with the tears she shed as she told him about the letters she had written. Whatever sadness they had felt was completely forgotten as they lost themselves in those magnificent kisses. Oliver couldn't help but think as he pressed her to him and stroked her back, she was a perfect fit. She fit in his arms, in his heart and in his life. He wasn't ever going to let go of her again.

It took a while for him to finally propose. Oliver didn't want to repeat the same mistakes as before, so he still wanted to take things slowly! Next steps for him? He thought it was cute to ask Shane to go steady….then move on to "official" boyfriend/girlfriend. When he saw her in Annaliese's wedding dress a few months later, he couldn't shake the image of Shane walking down the aisle in her own gown, culminating with a promise to love each other forever.

It was so much fun sharing with his dad he was ready to propose. Joe had been ecstatic and immediately offered to get him the infamous O'Toole ugly green tie. Oliver was taking huge delight in surprising Shane, but he also had to admit to butterflies in his stomach. He knew she loved him. He saw it in her eyes every day. He felt it in her casual touches, he certainly felt it in her sweet and passionate kisses and she certainly showed it in her actions…restocking the DLO fridge with YooHoos and keeping hand sanitizer readily available for cow petting and other similar situations.

When Shane reached the altar at Rita and Norman's wedding, she realized he had on the ugly green tie. Her face was a thing of beauty. Her eyes showed surprise and then glittered with unshed tears. Her cheeks turned a beautiful shade of pink and her absolutely stunned expression was worth all the challenges they encountered to get to this point. Oliver was giddy, keeping it all inside as Rita and Norman made their vows. He had to admit, though, he couldn't wait to finally propose.

Then the moment came. He took her outside the barn. It was a crisp, cold evening. The solemnity of the moment was upon him. He gifted Shane the words that had been tradition in the O'Toole family for generations…

"…and I promise to love you forever…"

When Shane said yes and she promised to love him forever, it was the salve his heart needed to finally heal past wounds. He was so happy that day… but that day paled in comparison to this moment… Shane is finally his forever.

Shane was his wife! He had been so lost in thought that time got away from him! It was time to go get his bride and start pampering her the way he always wanted, now that they were finally married. Everything was set in their suite… all details taken care of, from the luxury cotton sheets he requested to the arrangements of yellow roses everywhere. Oliver smiled his charming half-smile, and after his characteristic bounce up on his toes, he dashed off to collect his wife. It was time for their honeymoon to begin.