Earthshine

Chapter VIII

"Night of Revelations"

…

"When the riddles of existence baffle your mind, let a heartfelt hug be the answer that brings solace."

- Arif Naseem

…

[Edward]

I hid upstairs as Bella and Charlie ate their dinner. I listened to their silence and to Charlie's muted thoughts. It was a peaceful reprieve from the constant battering of others' thoughts.

Every now and then one of them would say something, breaking the silence for brief, polite conversation. They discussed how each other's days went at work and they talked about their plans for the weekend.

"Jake actually invited me and Edward to a bonfire Friday night."

"Isn't that big storm rolling in?"

"Not until Saturday. We should be in the clear."

"Oh. M'kay. Guess it's alright then. Who's going?"

"Bunch of reservation kids. Maybe some from town. I don't know. Jake said he already asked and you said it was okay?"

There was a pause before Charlie continued. "Right. Right. He mentioned something about a get together and a campfire. Just be responsible, Bells. No drinking."

"You really don't have to worry about that with me, dad."

"Yeah, well…worth saying anyway."

There were a lot of times Chief Swan said things just because he felt he should. Like he was saying the scripted lines of a responsible parent.

If only Diego Santi would do at least the same for his daughter. It'd go a long way. Parents were always the greatest influence over their children.

With a sigh I lied back on the bed, head turning to stare out Bella's window, where the crescent moon hung brightly. The purple curtains swayed in the cool, night breeze. The coolness swept over me as my thoughts again turned to the conversation that was coming.

I considered what Alice had said. That concealing my new friendship with Vitalia meant something was fundamentally wrong with the whole situation.

I didn't think she was right, my intentions were completely honorable, but Bella did deserve to know. Especially now that things had progressed to an actual friendship. She and Vitalia could even meet. Perhaps they too could become friends.

I smiled. The two could really help each other. Bella might help Vitalia be more responsible while Vitalia could help Bella develop a fuller appreciation for her precious life. A life without me.

My eyes fell and I buried the pain. I couldn't dwell on that. Not with Alice watching so closely. I couldn't decide anything until the moment came.

My phone buzzed and I slowly looked away from the window and pulled the device out of my pocket before my eyes read over the text Vitalia had sent.

Vitalia: Hey, Eddy! We're gonna be in town for the weekend. Checking into a motel tomorrow. Crazy storm coming apparently (; If you want to hang let me know!

I shook my head. The girl was completely unaware of the ways she was affecting the members of my family. It was supposed to be just a simple thing, getting to know her, but it had been blown way out of proportion.

My gaze lifted and I stared for a long moment at the glowing sliver in the sky. It looked playful. Like a wink. Or a smile. It reminded me of the silver glow of Vitalia's eyes. I was also taken for a moment by the incredible distance between it and myself. It was outside of this atmosphere. Removed. An entirely different environment and existence than the planet we inhabited here.

That separation was suddenly similar to the one I felt. Confined as I was to my own existence, humankind was beyond me, untouchable, and yet it pierced the dark anyway. People like Bella and Vitalia had a way of forcing some light to break through.

An idea slowy formed in my mind as I continued to stare in fascination.

Tomorrow might be a good opportunity to introduce Bella to Vitalia. And vice versa. If the girl was going to be around, I wanted to invite her to the bonfire. It sounded like it was open to the area's teens. Surely no one would mind one out of towner? I suspected it would be just the sort of thing the girl would enjoy. I'd already ascertained from her thoughts how much she enjoyed the bonfires on her ranch back home.

Edward: Good evening :) I appreciate the update. There's going to be a bonfire at the edge of town tomorrow night. Over by Newton's Outfitters. Why don't you come? A bunch of other kids will be going. Bella and I plan to go. Maybe you two could meet?

Of course, this meant I'd have to tell Bella about Vitalia beforehand. Preferably tonight. I took a deep breath and looked to the closed door.

I already knew it wasn't going to be an easy conversation, but I immediately began to prepare all the reassurances I could. There was simply no reason Bella should feel threatened or jealous. Her place in my heart was immovable.

I just wished she could see that.

It was going to be a night for revelations, it seemed.

Vitalia: ooh! Sounds fun. I'll definitely have to make an appearance. I'd love to meet your lady!

I smiled as I read over the message. Her enthusiasm helped. I could share it with Bella. Surely the level of eagerness and support from the girl would put my darling at ease?

Edward: Great. We'll just meet you there then?

Vitalia: sounds like a plan!

I set my phone down and turned my head to the window again, breathing in the fresh air that always provided relief from the overpowering, relentless scent of Bella's blood.

I listened as she started the dishes and I tapped my finger with the rhythm of the water.

How was I even going to bring this up?

I spent the remaining moments preparing myself and pondering where to start. However, as soon as Bella stepped into the room and my eyes found her, all my preparations fled me and I found I still had no idea how to start the conversation.

Bella rushed to me and I wrapped my arms around her, feeling all my tension soothed by her warmth.

"How was dinner?" I asked politely.

"It was fine, but I missed you."

I knew all too well, if not even more so, how torturous even small intervals of time apart felt.

I smiled and kissed the top of her head. "I missed you too."

We held each other for awhile and I was very tempted to put off our discussion until the morning. I hated to ruin a perfect evening together. However, Alice's cutting words filled my head again and I winced.

No. I had to get this over with. I had already set things in motion.

"Bella," I began gently, "there is something I would like to share with you."

I wasn't sure if it was the uncertainty in my voice, the hesitation, or the ponderous tone it held, but she immediately looked up, eyes flashing hopefully to mine. I'd seen the look a hundred times now. And every single time I saw it, it pierced into me with seering agony. The wrongness of it was striking. The unnatural desire she felt to throw her life and her soul aside to gain an immortal life like mine. And it was my fault. It was my intrusion into her life that had caused this.

I shook my head, eyes narrowing. "This isn't about that."

The disappointment was strong and evident as she sighed and leaned her head back down against my chest. "What, then?"

I ran a hand down the length of her hair and braced myself, eyes drifting up to the playful moon again.

"Well there's actually…a person I've met. Someone whom I'd like you to meet as well. I suppose you could say we're becoming friends, though it will be short-lived as she'll be leaving at the end of summer. I-"

"Wait." Bella interjected and sat up to stare at me, brows drawing close. " She? Wh-" she shook her head. "When did you meet? Becoming friends? Why haven't you mentioned this before?"

Her reaction was exactly as expected and I stared at her with utmost devotion as I grasped her fragile hands. "Sorry, I wanted to say something, but the way it happened…" I sighed. "I was ashamed to tell you."

"What'd you mean, Edward?" Her chest was rising and falling rapidly now.

"You know that day I came into Newton's?"

She nodded.

"I had spotted their family car in the parking lot. Her dad had ridiculously attempted to play a game of chicken with me on the highway earlier that day and I was curious about the sorts of people they were, so I got out to observe them. I met Vitalia in one of the aisles. I thought she was interesting. Immature, but interesting."

"You told me you were in there because you wanted to try something different. That you were bored. Why did you lie to me?"

My eyes lowered. It didn't help in the slightest that I had lied. I shouldn't have. I should have just told her everything from the start.

"I don't know. I felt ashamed, as I said. My curiosity gets the better of me and I do things like this."

Bella pulled her hands out from under mine and ran one through her hair as she bit her lip.

"You thought she was interesting," she said in a small voice. "You thought I was interesting when you met me too. Your curiosity got the better of you."

She wasn't wrong, but it was still different. Bella had slammed into my life like a wrecking ball, completely changing me in a near-instant. Vitalia had just unobtrusively flitted her way onto my path. She was just there, hanging like the moon in the sky. Her brightness was magnetizing. It was hard not to take a glimpse for the short time it was there, but she hadn't claimed me.

"Bella," I spoke softly. "Please don't compare it like that. You are everything to me, all that matters. I am entirely yours and Vitalia knows that. She's actually very eager to meet you."

"When do you two talk? How'd you even end up being friends?"

It was always hard for my words to reach Bella when she got caught up in moments like this. I sighed patiently before continuing to tell her about the surprise encounter on mine and Emmett's hunting trip. Then I told her I had run into her at Carlisle's clinic and that I had decided a friendship might be worth seeking after all. I told her we'd been talking via text.

"You've been working and I figured I wouldn't be taking time away from us if I only sought her company during times you were away."

She squeezed her eyes shut. "Edward…I knew it. I knew it."

"Knew what?"

"That someday, someone better than me would come along."

"That's not true. There's no one better than you."

" That's not true." She glared. "And there's just no way that girl hasn't been dazzled by you the way all the others are."

"She hasn't. I can read her thoughts. If that was the case I wouldn't have pursued this."

"But…why? I don't understand why you're even wanting this with her? You don't have friends. And there's a very good reason for that. Your family chooses to protect themselves by not getting close to people."

"That's true, but most of them have met her and they seem alright with it."

Too alright. I mentally added.

"She's met your family?"

"Also random. Everyone but Alice. And I intend to be very cautious about it. Can't have her anywhere near the house. Can't spend too much time at once with her."

"But why go through the trouble?"

"I just think she's a person worth getting to know. For both of us. And we could help her. You'd be a tremendous influence on her. She's incredibly irresponsible."

"I have enough friends to try and keep up with," she grumbled.

I could understand her frustration, but I wished she'd be a little more open to the idea. I had a feeling that actually meeting Vitalia would help though. It seemed to have an almost magical effect on everyone.

"How many times have you two hung out?" She asked next.

"Just earlier today. We talked for a little while. Went for a drive."

Bella winced.

"I invited her to the bonfire. I thought it might be a good place for you two to meet."

"Edward!" She hissed, mindful not to raise her voice with her father down the hall. "You had no business doing that! This is Jake's party and you can't just go around inviting other people."

"I thought it was open to the town. That's what it sounded like."

"No one knows this girl."

"I do."

"As you've said."

The dismissiveness in her tone increased my frustration and I couldn't help but narrow my eyes a little.

"You have a friendship with Jacob Black, don't you? You enjoy his company. This isn't so diffrent."

"It's completely different!"

"How?"

"Because." She stood and threw her hands toward me as she spoke. "You're you and I'm…well, me."

"Bella." I stood and approached her. "How many different ways can I say this?" I took her face between my hands and held her eyes intently. "I am yours. My heart is yours forever. There is nothing that can change that. Nothing in the world. There is no one else for me."

I could see the tension leave her as I spoke. She always said it was unfair of me to charm her this way but nothing eased her anger quite so well. Or quite so enjoyably. I leaned in and kissed her for as long as I dared, allowing her to deepen it fractionally before I slowly drew away and breathed over her, watching as my nearness lulled her.

"I love you."

"…I love you too." She whispered and stumbled back a step, before she frowned and looked up at me. "But I hate when you do that."

"Sorry. I didn't know how else to get through to you."

"Edward…" she bit her lip and looked down at her feet. "I've just never been able to see how you could want me. And now with this other girl in the picture…" she shook her head. "I don't know if I can handle it."

I leaned my forehead against hers and sighed. "Can you meet her at least? Meet her and see how you feel? If you're still uncomfortable with it after a few days then I'll tell her I need to stop talking to her." I could hardly deny Bella this. It suddenly caused a tugging ache in my chest to see her so torn up about this.

It would be hard, ending the friendship with Vitalia, but I could absolutely do it. The comparison between that and letting Bella go was astronomical. Compared to removing my soulmate from my life I could do anything. Besides, I wanted the remaining time we might have together to be blissful. Bella deserved that much. She shouldn't be made to worry about Vitalia. As frustrating as it was, my darling had limitations. She had very human insecurities. I had to put her first. In everything.

She sighed. "Fine."

"Thank you." I smiled and kissed her forehead. "Now why don't you get ready for bed? I thought since you're off tomorrow we could go to our meadow before the bonfire. It will be a full day."

"Alright," she half-smiled.

The rest of our evening was spent without further arguing. Bella still looked uneasy, but my presence helped. I held her as she fell asleep and I lingered a long while just watching her. The guilt was now swimming beneath the surface. I was once again questioning my decision to get to know Vitalia. It felt selfish now. Why had I not anticipated how hard Bella would take it? That was probably why I felt the need to hide it.

I looked to my phone, saw the time, and reluctantly removed myself from Bella's side.

I moved to the window and leaped down into the night like the nocturnal creature I was before moving swiftly and silently through the dense forest until I reached my house. The lights were on, acting like a beacon in its haunting surroundings.

I inhaled, suppressing my irritation, before entering my home.

"There you are, baby bro." Emmett was sitting on the bottom of the staircase, hands folded. He grinned but I could tell he was nervous.

You sure you want to do this?

I shook my head and approached him. I leaned against the stair rail and crossed my arms. "I want to get it over with."

"You're mad with curiosity, you mean?"

I rolled my eyes then stared him down as I waited for him to continue. From the dining room, I could hear the thoughts of the rest of my family, who were ready to enter the room as soon as Emmett had said what he needed to.

In my brother's mind then, as he started to release the thoughts he'd held captive, I saw the images of Vitalia and I during that race. I saw him comparing it to the way I'd looked just before meeting with the Santi family — my impatience, my bitterness, my aggravation. It had all disappeared.

"Man…" He shook his head and sighed. Whatever. Here goes.

"I've just been noticing some things. Ever since you started hanging with Vitalia I'm seeing what you could be. You have to be so controlled with Bella, for obvious reasons. Restrained. But…I don't know, it was nice to see you be able to let loose. Even with that girl bleeding in front of you, it barely phased you. You looked almost human with her. And I'm not saying you don't look happy when you're with Bella, but it's different. You never look as…free* with her."

How can I explain this? He thought as he tightened his hands and clenched them together before meeting my silent, but tense gaze. I didn't like where he was going with this, but I wanted to hear all of it, so I kept my mouth shut.

"When Bella's around it's like nothing else exists for you. It's like you two are in your own place and the rest of us are outside of it. And yeah, I get that being in love can be like that, but sometimes I wonder if that scent of hers has created this obsession in you. You're addicted to something you constantly have to deny yourself and it creates this agonizing, unnatural situation for you. You're playing with fire literally every moment you're with her and it takes so much focus and so much time that you can't appreciate much outside of it."

I bit my teeth down as I listened, hating that some of what he was saying made sense. I had compared her to an addictive substance. But a relationship between a vampire and a human was unnatural anyway. I didn't see how it could be avoided. Short of my leaving, which I was undecidedly intending to do.

"But then we walked over that ridge and we see this other girl you met and your whole face lights up and you even laugh after being in such a dark mood because you were so impatient to get back to Bella. And the more we were around her, the more you were able to really be there. I've never seen you like that, Edward. Before Bella came along you were so apathetic about things. Bored. Critical. She comes along and you start getting interested, but only when it involved her. Vitalia though? She pulls something else out of you. You not only enjoy her company, but you come out of yourself so much that you can enjoy everything around you."

He's really lettin' him have it. Jasper was thinking from the other room. But I can feel Edward resisting.

That's my man. Rosalie sounded smug.

Carlisle was still silent and Alice seemed like she didn't like where Emmett was implying either. Esme was only concerned about the tension being created within our family.

"So what are you saying, exactly?" I asked my brother straight, eyes narrowing. I could feel my astonishment simmering beneath the surface. I couldn't believe what he was daring to suggest.

He held my stare unflinchingly and I saw his expression harden with resolve. "Look, I love Bella, we all do, but…are sure she's the one for you? Because I'm questioning that here. From where I'm sitting, if I really think about it, you and Vitalia seem so much better matched. It'd be as easy as breathing with her. Not saying Bella's not worth the trouble, but for you and what you need…you might want to take a closer look."

I stood abruptly and shook my head. There it was. It was out there. My eyes narrowed further as I stared out at the dark forest beyond the window.

I could no more stop myself from loving Bella as I could stop myself from being the undead abomination that I was. It was an absurd thing to suggest!

Sorry, Edward. I told you that you wouldn't like it. I was more than happy keeping that to myself.

I turned to stare down at him before my eyes shifted to the entry of the dining room. "Do all of you feel the same way?" I could hear the barely contained indignation in my voice.

"I don't!" Alice immediately bounded out before she looked to Emmett with a glare that almost matched mine. "I can't believe you'd even suggest that!"

From behind her, the rest of them slowly made their way out. Rosalie moved to sit next to Emmett and she placed a hand over his before looking to me.

"He's right. I've had a problem with your obsession with Bella from day one."

"You just don't like her," I scoffed.

"Because she has no appreciation for what she has. For her life. I don't think that's good for you. You need someone who can show you how to value it." She smiled as she looked to Emmett. "That's what he's given me." Her eyes lifted to Jasper. "That's what Alice has given him."

"Bella does that for me," I explained. Even as I said it though, I knew it wasn't the same.

"Just listen to what you wrote," Jasper spoke up. I could hear from his thoughts that he entirely agreed with Emmett. "Vitalia's song. I can hardly believe that came from you. But it did. She brought it out of you."

Esme reluctantly sighed and I could see how torn my mother was. She wanted more than anything for me to be happy, whether that included Bella or not. As much as she cared for the girl, my happiness took priority for her.

"Edward." Emmett stood and his expression was still intense. "Think back to that first day in the cafeteria. When you first saw Bella, how did you feel? Did you fall right then and there? Think about it Edward."

"I don't need to," I told him. "That's an irrelevant point."

"But it is. Because I remember. You weren't the least bit interested in the newcomer until you realized you couldn't read her mind. That got you all agitated. And then the whole blood situation. You were crazed with curiousity and only then were you interested. You wouldn't have spared her a second glance otherwise."

I shook my head, eyes shifting to the wall behind him. "That's ridiculous."

Despite myself though, I thought back to that first day. I too remembered how my eyes had passed over her. How I'd considered her ordinary. But that had only been a classic case of reading the book by its cover, because Bella was far from ordinary. Even if her thoughts had been open to me and her blood hadn't called to me, I was sure I would have fallen for her in time.

"And Vitalia? How'd you feel when you met her?"

I let that question linger a long while before my eyes returned to my brother. I stared him down silently but he was immovable. I refused to play along with this.

However, once again, my mind recalled the moment. When I had turned to stare down at Vitalia, I first noted the energy in her eyes. They had instantly gripped my attention. And she had only continued to surprise me from there. Her responses and her thoughts had been so unexpected. She'd caught me off guard and I had not made the same mistake of assuming her ordinary.

But it hardly proved anything. Was his point that I didn't need any extra lures to take an interest in Vitalia? Curiosity was the driving force behind my getting to know both her and Bella.

"It doesn't matter," I told my brother. "It doesn't matter how I felt."

It should matter. He thought.

"Enough." I growled at him.

"I'm only saying this because I care about you. We all do."

With a defeated slump of my shoulders, I sought Carlisle's eyes, and he met them gently before sighing. He was gracious enough to tell me what he thought silently.

I won't say I haven't noticed similar things as Emmett, but I know how much Bella means to you. For that reason, perhaps consider it from her side? What is best for her? I know you've been bothered by her request to become like us. You've been concerned from the start that you felt you hardly had a choice at all when it came to the inevitably of your relationship with her. If given absolute freedom, you wouldn't have chosen this for either of you, would you?

I don't know if Vitalia is the answer, but there has been a visible change. I've always wanted you to have your choices, Edward. Your freedom to make the best possible decisions and to recognize your value and your capability to do what's right and to come to see the bright side of this existence we live. I do like the light that's been inspired lately.

I lowered my eyes from his, unable to argue a single point. He was right. I wouldn't have chosen this for Bella. I'd felt my hands were tied from the beginning, unable to resist her. I wanted to do right by her, in every possible way. But no, Vitalia was not the answer. I wanted to experience her liveliness and maybe it was influencing me, but it was only for a season.

It simply wasn't possible to offer my heart to anyone else. In the very depth of my soul, I had as good as married Isabella Swan. They were underestimating my devotion to her.

I had never felt so estranged from my family. So misunderstood. I felt worlds apart from them.

If it helps, I don't see anything changing with your feelings for Bella, Alice offered. But your future with her is uncertain. I've even seen you deciding to leave her. Would you really do that?

I felt comforted by Alice's assurances, but her observation was painful to think about. I suppose in the back of my mind, I had been hoping that maybe it would ultimately be impossible to stay away from Bella, but now she was revealing that it was. That I really could do it. It was as agonizing as it was affirming.

I can do the right thing.

It was suddenly all too much and I turned to rush out of the house, leaving them and their thoughts behind me. Alice made to run after me, but I heard Jasper urge her to let me go.

I tore through the forest, unsure where to go. I had intended to go straight back to Bella, but now I couldn't bring myself to do it. After all, she too doubted how I felt.

I realized what I wanted was reassurance from the only person who could give it. Vitalia herself. I also felt I could use a dose of positivity to help me deal with all the frustration.

I wondered if it would be wrong to seek out her company, especially after some of the things that had been said. However, at the moment, I was too upset to care.

I glanced at my phone, saw that it was 1:00 AM, and figured Vitalia was probably awake.

I started to run in the direction of the Santi family campsite, but I paused. They might find it strange that I'd hiked in the middle of the night. It might also set a bad example for the girl. I debated with myself for a long moment before heading back to my house. I swiftly grabbed the keys to the off road jeep and a couple of rifles for props before driving down the trail behind our house.

It would take a lot longer this way, but it certainly looked better. I turned up the radio as I traversed the bumpy landscape, biting my teeth down before switching out the classical mix for a Linkin Park CD — a favorite among modern bands.

The lyrics were angry and desperate and I felt the swarming in my chest settle a bit as my emotions found an outlet in the music.

I reached the site about a half hour later, feeling a little calmer. I parked further down the incline so as not to wake them with my loud vehicle before I stepped out and walked up the rise. As I did, I saw the two tents and the dim fire in front of them. I could hear the sound of their breathing and the images from their dreams. Eden and Diego's anyway. Vitalia's thoughts were coming from the patch of grass a yard or two to the right, where she was lying beside a telescope.

She was naming different constellations and making up stories for them. She was currently looking at Ursa Minor which was unsurprisingly her favorite.

"Wait for me!" He's saying as he stumbles and tries to keep up with all the others. I could hear the smile in Vitalia's voice.

I smiled as I watched her lying there contentedly. It hardly seemed fair that she should be so unbothered after the day I'd had, but I found myself unable to resent her.

I moved quietly forward, circling so that I'd approach from behind. It seemed I was going to get to surprise her twice in a row.

The night air was chilly and fresh — the scents of evergreen and wood smoke filling that air. My eyes lifted to the constellations above and their luminescent brilliance before they fell to the girl again. I kneeled on one knee behind her before reaching out to tap her shoulder.

"AAAH!" She jumped quickly and spun around. Her eyes were wide and bright as the stars above us. "Eddy?!" She reached out and smacked my arm. "What are you doing out here?"

Seriously. It's like he just materilizaed out of nowhere! What, does he have, like, teleportation powers?

Despite my mood, I chuckled at her. "I went for a drive in the jeep. Needed to clear my head. Found myself coming here."

The jeep, huh? How many cars does he have?

Vitalia sighed before offering me a smirk. "Well I don't hate seeing you, but a heads up would've been nice. What if I'd been asleep?"

"I somehow doubted you would be."

She gave her eyes a roll then glanced down at my torso. "No jacket? Aren't you cold?" Even as she spoke, her breath left her mouth in wisps.

Even in summer, Washington nights were chilly. I glanced down at myself with a frown. I wished I had considered that. Now what would I say?

I decided to play nonchalant as I shrugged. "I like the cold. I'm used to it."

"Psh. No wonder your hands are always freezing." As she spoke I saw that she'd shoved her own hands inside the front of her hoodie. "Texas is so warm in the summer. I'm kind of missing those humid firefly nights right now."

Her mind then filled with an enchanting scene of her backyard on a summer night. There were string lights hung over the wooden deck and she was sitting with her family around a fire pit with the country radio station playing one of her favorites. She was smiling in delight as fireflies blinked in the dark yard. The entire thing did seem very warm. I smiled as I watched it before I focused on the girl in front of me. She was smiling too as she recalled it.

"Are you sure you don't want to wear one of my dad's jackets or something?" She lifted a brow.

"Would he mind?" I tilted my head.

"Don't think so."

I thought it over briefly before concluding that it might be a good idea to give in. I nodded slowly. "Alright then."

"Cool. Be right back."

I watched her stand and brush off her plaid pajama pants before she made her way with a sprint to the campsite. She reached in to their Camaro and grabbed a leather jacket from the front seat before hurrying back to me. In the space before she reached me, I sighed and released some of my tension. This was definitely helping, but a heaviness hung over me that I couldn't shake.

Was it because of Bella's discomfort? Or was it because I felt so thoroughly unsupported by my family?

"Here you go." She held it out to me as she swept a strand of artificial blue hair behind her ear.

"Thank you." I nodded before slipping on the smooth leather piece. It was warm and carried Diego's scent. There was a savory nature to it, though it did little to call on my appetite. I'd become desensitized without even realizing it. I hadn't understood before how Carlisle could manage it, but now…well, after the insane level of restraint I was required to use on a daily basis, I felt I could stand right there in an operating room with him and barely feel tempted.

"So what are you doing out here?" She asked as she sat beside me and drew her knees to her chest, where she wrapped her arms comfortably around her legs.

"Stalking you," I told her flatly, expression and tone taking a serious edge.

Ha! Good one.

A grin spread across her face. "I should've known, you creeper."

I smiled at her, willing myself not to let her see the storm brewing in my mind. However, after a moment, my smile started to lower as I looked to the ground.

Aww, something's definitely bothering him. In her mind's eye, I saw her watching me. Wonder if he'll tell me. Always good to get things off your chest.

"But really," she pressed as she plucked a handful of grass. "Why'd you feel the need to clear your head? I can tell you're upset about something."

I sighed, watching as she opened her hand and let the blades of grass fall. I had come for reassurance and she was opening the door for me to receive it. I supposed there wasn't any harm in being straightforward with her.

"I had a talk with my family." I held my eyes low as I spoke, observing the way the breeze swayed the wild ferns we were surrounded by. "They gave me some of their opinions about this situation between us." I looked up, casually resting my arms over my knees as I observed the distant stars. "I really don't go out of my way to make friends so you're a bit of an anomaly. None of them understand it. They're assuming that…it means my affections might be leaning elsewhere. Away from Bella. Some of them even think that you'd be a better fit for me."

I too plucked a handful of grass before glancing down at the emerald strands a long moment. "I'm completely devoted to her though. It can't be threatened by anyone else. Even Bella-" I let the grass fall for before shaking my head. "She doesn't even see it. She's…a little insecure. I told her about you and she's having a hard time with it."

Oh man. Wow. That's a lot. The girl thought.

I heard Vitalia click her tongue. "Well I get a say, don't I? I can help smooth things over with everyone, if you want? Rosie did ask if I was interested in you the other day in the nail salon, but I told her I'm not looking to date anybody right now. I haven't even been thinking about that."

I nodded, feeling better for hearing that straight from her. "I know. If this wasn't platonic for both of us I wouldn't have opened myself up to friendship in the first place."

"Well we both know the truth." I could hear her smile as she spoke. "And we can't control what anyone else believes, so we kind of just have to let it go and let them think what they're gonna think. I'm sure they're just trying to help anyway."

I nodded with a hum. She was right, after all. At the heart of it, my family would always consider that, in their own misguided ways.

"And look, with Bella…if she really doesn't like it and it gets to be too big of a problem for you two, I don't mind backing off."

I mean, I kinda mind, but it'd be the decent thing to do I think. She mentally added.

I looked over at her then, eyes regretful as I considered that very real possibility. She gave me a humorless smirk and shrug of her shoulder as I felt a little more of the weight lift. Her willingness to consider Bella over herself touched me. I realized as I stared into her sincere, glowing eyes that it would be a lot harder to cut things off than I'd originally assumed. Not impossible, but still difficult.

Though an inevitable goodbye was coming. At some point we'd both be taking our own paths, whether that was sooner or later.

"I don't want it to come to that," I told her quietly. "But it's good to know you'll be supportive if it does."

Her smile widened. "Well maybe meeting her will help?"

"That's what I'm hoping," I admitted.

She nodded. "We're on the same page then."

We sat together in silence for several moments, listening to the nocturnal sounds. Vitalia broke it though as she yawned.

I hate to send him on his way, but…

"Sorry, but I've gotta be getting to bed, Eddy. Long day tomorrow. Have to pack up everything and head into town. Do you feel a little better?"

"Somewhat," I told her as I stood. "I appreciate it."

"No problem." She stood and motioned a hand. "And go ahead and keep the jacket for now. I'll get it back from you tomorrow."

I didn't know if keeping it was the best idea, as we'd both have to explain why I had it. I nodded at her though, fully intending to toss it back into the Camaro after she went to bed.

She turned to walk away and, as she did, I suddenly realized that none of this was going to matter in a few weeks. Vitalia would leave and I would most likely be leaving Bella. I was gripped by a sudden isolation so strong that it left me feeling a little colder. I was facing the endless oblivion of this path I was on, seeing the hopelessness of it. These last weeks would have to carry me for the rest of existence.

I really hope he's okay, Vitalia thought before she glanced back. My eyes slowly lifted from their spot on the ground to meet hers. I left myself vulnerable, ignoring the urge to immediately force my misery down. It looks like he could use just a little more cheering up. I wonder if he'll be okay with a hug?

I tensed. Was I?

"Eddy…" she sighed then moved back to me. I watched her approach, still uncertain, but I didn't stop her.

She reached up and wrapped her arms around my torso, not holding too tight, but enough to comfort me. I felt myself relax, the isolated feeling beginning to fade as she forced me back into the present moment.

"Try not to worry about it all, okay?" She told me, patting my back with her hand. "Don't overthink it."

I sighed again before wrapping my arms loosely around her, maintaining a respectable distance. I closed my eyes and breathed in the calm, willing myself to do as she said. But she was completely unaware of where my mind had turned — of the impending decision I had to make.

I wondered then, if she knew, what she would encourage me to do.

He really is so cold, she thought. It's like hugging a snowman. But it's still nice, somehow, because I can help him feel warmer. He smells like the forest. Think he must hang there a lot.

Vitalia's embrace was as warm as any other human's, but without the thirst for her blood, I felt almost human myself in returning it. There was an added layer of comfort in not feeling torn between my two instincts.

Perhaps it was foolish of me to allow her to be this close. She was noticing my coldness. My strangeness. But it wasn't accompanied with any suspicion. There was nothing doubtful or questioning in her mind at all. Only her easy acceptance and the desire to ease the cold.

She drew back and smiled at me. I returned her smile, openly showing my gratitude. "Goodnight, Vitalia."

"Night, Eddy." She answered before pointing up at me suddenly. "Remember, no more worrying. Let's have fun tomorrow night."

I chuckled at her before watching her go. I waited until she'd disappeared inside her tent before making a stop at her dad's car and then heading down to the jeep. I drove it down the hiking trail as fast as I could before leaving it near my house. I finally made my way back to Bella as a gray tint started to lighten the sky.

I crawled through the window and I saw she was still sleeping heavily, muttering about some of her earlier concerns. I frowned, but much of the tension was gone and I found I could lie next to her peacefully now. I spent the remaining hours of the night cherishing my beloved and feeling appreciative toward Vitalia for helping me reach a state of mind where I could admire Bella more fully.

Despite the complications, Vitalia was proving herself to be far from a hindrance to my relationship with Bella. She was assisting me in truly valuing what time I had left. It was an irreplaceable gift.