Moonlight in Forks
Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to SM.
The Declaration
Bella remembered the time she had been so eager to trade her mortality for immortality. After all, it was the key to staying with Edward forever. After meeting him she had thrown away her life's goals and instead her life had become all about him. Trading that life had become an obsession. An obsession that had flourished even after he had left, making her take stupid risks just so she could hear his voice in her head.
And then afterwards, after all the debacle in Italy, when she finally got him back, and learned the reason behind his departure, something inside her had changed, changed so irrevocably, that it had put paid to her compulsion to throw her life away so willingly. She had to concede their time apart had opened her eyes. Others had shown her how precious a gift that life was, that it could be lived, that she could have a happy existence without him.
And a big part of that reason was sitting asleep right beside her now-Jacob Black.
When Edward had left her slowly dying inside in the forest, her future had turned dark, all she could see was a dark abyss, slowly drowning without her one true love to sustain her. But Jacob had changed all that. Slowly, by just being himself, he had found his way into her heart. She hadn't noticed at first, or was unwilling to. When she fell in love with Edward, it was a very sudden, dramatic, sweep-you-off-your-feet, change-your-world, magical, passionate, all-consuming thing.
With Jacob, it was different. The love had come softly. She didn't recognize the much more subtle falling-in-love she experienced with Jacob. She was only aware that she preferred being with him over everyone else, that he was constantly on her mind, and that his happiness was essential to her own. She also enjoyed being physically close to him in a way that she didn't with her other friends. It had just taken her a while to add up all the pieces.
Bella studied Jacob's dreaming face, gazing at him tenderly. While he slept, he looked so relaxed and at peace, reminding her so much of the boy who had been her very best friend before all the werewolf nonsense had gotten in the way and stalled their friendship. He seemed so much younger, so much like her Jacob.
Bella nestled closer to Jacob to wait out his nap, hoping he would sleep for a while and make up some of what he'd lost. It was a huge thing, acknowledging how she felt about him after being in denial for so long. Their near kiss in the garage had opened her eyes to all the possibilities. But even then, she had still refused to let herself go beyond the physical attraction, only when she admitted to herself that she no longer saw her future as being part of the Cullen family, did she let herself consider the other paths that were open to her.
While he slept, Bella flipped through the channels again, finding nothing to interest her, she gravitated toward the cooking channel, knowing, as she watched, that she had never put that much effort into Charlie's dinner. Maybe she should start experimenting more. She loved to cook. Unlike most people, she found it relaxing. Food preparation soothed her mind just as it frustrated others.
Jacob started to snore quietly. Bella smiled at him, thinking he looked cute with his lips slightly parted, his head leaning against her shoulder. She felt strangely relaxed, almost sleepy, too. The little redwood house made her feel so safe, probably because no one had ever come looking for her there. She curled up on the couch and thought about taking a nap herself. She tried, but Jacob's snoring was impossible to tune out. So, instead of sleeping, she let her mind wander again.
Finals were done, she had found most of them easy, with Edward's coaching she had sailed through even the calculus exam. Pass or fail, her high school education was more or less over. It was an odd feeling, like stepping out from undercover into the light. It was hard to look at it objectively with the threat of impending doom still hanging over her head.
Just thinking of Victoria brought her mood right down. She wished it was all over and done with, but it was all dragging on and on with no end in sight. And it wasn't just the vengeful red head she had to worry about, there was also the Volturi to consider.
The Volturi acted as the unofficial royalty in the world of vampires, and were an incredibly influential coven. They were also considered 'nighttime patrons of the arts' as, because of their inability to sleep, they studied the arts at night. The Volturi acted as guardians, keeping the secret society of vampires hidden from the human world as needed. They often sent their agents to travel from Volterra to prevent overzealous covens from exposing vampires through mass eradication of every vampire (and any humans) present. The coven had existed for over 3000 years, and was the largest coven in existence.
Aro, one of the main players, had been intrigued when he saw Bella's immunity to Jane's, Edward's and his own powers. After Edward, Alice, and Bella refused to join the Volturi, Caius, another one of the leaders, told them that Bella must die because she knew their secrets, which Edward refused to allow happen. It was Alice who was able to convince them in the end to let them go, with Bella remaining human, when she "showed" Aro a vision of Bella becoming a vampire in the future. They were then allowed to leave the city after midnight, with the Volturi promising that they would be checking up on them all without warning to make sure that Bella was indeed changed.
This was Bella's main fear, that now she had decided against becoming a vampire, that she would still be forced to go through with it because of the promise the Volturi had extracted from them. The threat of their impending visit was constantly hanging over her head-although Carlisle didn't seem too fazed about it. As vampires live for an eternity, time meant nothing to them, he was certain that it would probably be decades before Aro even remembered to facilitate a visit. He knew the Volturi well after residing with them for a considerable period of time. Bella could only take the Cullen patriarch at his word, but she still worried.
Suddenly Jacob snorted and rolled onto his side. His arm swung off the back of the couch and pinned Bella against his body. Immediately she flushed. He was so hot. She was sweltering after a few seconds. But strangely, it was a comforting kind of heat. After her anxiety had peaked when thinking of the Volturi, now she found herself naturally relaxing again. It was odd the effect Jacob had on her, his ability to soothe her troubled soul, even in his sleep.
Still not wanting to disturb him, Bella tried to slide out from under Jacob's arm without waking him, but she had to shove a little bit, and when his arm fell off her, his eyes snapped open. Jacob quickly jumped to his feet, as if scanning for any threats.
"What happened?" He mumbled, sounding disorientated.
"Its just me, Jake. I'm sorry I woke you." Bella apologized. She was annoyed with herself. She should have just stayed where she was.
Jacob turned to look at her, blinking and confused. "Huh?"
"Hey, sleepy." Bella teased. He really was out of it. "Its just me."
"Oh, man!" Jacob looked down at her guiltily. "Did I fall asleep? I didn't mean to. How long was I out?"
"I don't know. I wasn't keeping count."
Jacob flopped back on the couch next to her. "Wow, I am so beat. I'm sorry about that, honey, really."
Bella smiled at him sympathetically, reaching out to pat his hair, trying to smooth the wild disarray. "" Don't stress, Jake. I'm glad you got some sleep."
Jacob yawned and stretched. "I'm useless these days. No wonder Billy's always gone. I'm so boring."
"You're fine." Bella laughed. "You're making too big a deal of it, Jake. Go back to sleep."
"No." Jacob insisted, grabbing her hand. "Let's go outside or something. The fresh air will wake me up." He pulled her off the couch as he spoke, and then led the way outside, ducking his head as he passed under the doorframe. The weather had gotten much cooler while he slept, the air was unseasonably cold-Bella felt there might be a storm on the way. It felt like February not May.
Jacob was right, though, the wintry air did indeed revive him. He was more alert now, pacing back and forth, as he still had hold of Bella's hand, she had to go along with him.
"I've wasted so much time." He lamented as he made yet another circuit.
"So you fell asleep?" Bella tried to calm him down. "Its fine."
"I wanted to talk to you." Jacob sighed, running his free hand through his shaggy, black locks.
"Well, talk to me now." Bella said, tugging on his hand to make him stand still.
Jacob's expressive dark eyes met hers, his emotions clearly on display, showing that he needed more of connection, or that she did. In the reality of that charged moment, it was both. His eyes were soft, softer than Bella knew eyes could be. If it was anyone else Bella would have dropped her gaze, but with him, she was drawn in closer, wanting more.
"Look." Jacob said huskily. "I was planning to do this differently." He laughed nervously, as if he was laughing at himself. "Smoother." He added. "I was going to work up to it, but"-and he looked up at the clouds, dimmer as the afternoon progressed – "I thought I was out of time…but now…what you said gave me hope."
Bella knew what was coming. The look of the wolf boy was gone and instead he had the eyes of one who loves deeply. She had known the declaration was coming after their near kiss in the garage, in fact, she was surprised he had held back for so long in discussing it. Then this was Jacob, he knew that she needed time to sort her head out, to figure out her own feelings.
Jacob laughed again, nervous, as he waited for Bella to say something. Anything.
"I think I know what you're going to say." She said eventually.
Jacob took a deep breath. "I figured you would already know it…. but I think I should say it out loud anyway. Just so there's never any confusion on the subject."
Bella gazed up at him, it almost looked like he was blushing, but it was hard to tell with his dark skin.
Jacob's eyebrows pulled down, throwing his deep-set eyes into shadow. They were pitch black, determined. "I'm in love with you, Bella." He announced in a strong, sure voice. "Bella, I love you. There I said it!" His eyes were full of relief, the most beautiful smile breaking across his face. "I've been wanting to tell you for ages…but there was never a good time. Then I decided no time was good. I wouldn't want a miscommunication standing in our way. So, there you have it, honey. Its up to you what happens now."
A/N-thank you for reading!