Chapter 4

Arizona woke to her room empty. Again, the first thing on her mind was Callie and their baby, what had happened? Were they okay? What did April mean they hadn't told her? She had been there in the truck when it crashed. She knew, what hadn't they told her? Arizona's last memory was standing on the roadside crying as Callie lay through the windscreen. If she was in the ICU where was Callie? Mark? And the baby? April had said he had died, but it had been a girl, so who had died? Why was April lying to her, and why was she acting so familiar.

There were so many questions swirling around her head it was causing a huge headache. Alone and confused Arizona sat up, groaning at the pain in her head and the dizziness the movement brought, there was only one thing she had to do, she needed to find Callie check she was okay for herself. She couldn't ask anyone, they'd lie, they'd hide the truth, she was on her own, she needed to do this alone. Callie would never leave her, that Arizona was sure of so someone had to be keeping them apart.

Sitting up she threw the cover off; her leg was gone! It had been amputated above the knee, gently she traced the scar. Was that from the accident? It had to be, she didn't remember it hurting, was she injured too? How badly, it must have been bad to require amputation. Still she didn't care about that now, not when Callie was missing.

The questions raced around her mind, as she examined the stump. It was well healed, so it must have been a while ago, how long had she been in a coma for? Weeks? At least her legs were shaven, so someone had been looking after her. She remembered sitting with Callie, them joking about being in a coma, promising to shave each other and pluck making sure the other didn't wake up a hairy mess. With more questions than answers Arizona decided to get up, she needed to see Callie. Why were they keeping Callie from her and the baby? Did they blame her for the crash? Is that why they were apart?

On the chair next to her were some clothes, a handbag, and a prosthetic leg. She tried on the leg surprised she knew instinctively how to put it on and how well it fit. It must be hers, the skin color of the leg matched hers exactly. Who had fitted it, when? They didn't normally fit prosthetics on unconscious patients, unless there was a new proforma, new research? Callie, it had to be Callie. She must have fitted it. Which meant Callie was okay, Callie was fine out there, alive and Arizona needed to find her.

She removed the wires from everywhere as she dressed, blood pressure cuffs, catheters, IV's none of them were necessary. Switching the alarms off, so not to alarm anyone, Arizona carefully edged to the bed edge then using the chair to brace Arizona stood.

She felt dizzy standing, and the nausea built up. She vomited into a vase of flowers next to the bed wiping her mouth she sat down. Taking a minute to get her breath back, at least her trousers were pulled up now, she slipped on the bra and top. Standing she was surprised to find a drain coming from her head, carefully she removed it. She took a few steps trying out the new prosthetic, it was strange how she naturally adapted to using it, almost like she'd been walking on it for years. As she stood, she noticed some weakness in her right leg, and arm, from the amputation? Staying in bed too long? Nothing was making sense, still, she could walk so she could find Callie. Nobody was going to stop her. She needed to know her wife and baby were okay. Had they survived the crash? How long had she been in a coma for?

Picking up the handbag, she opened it, finding her hospital ID, keys, a purse and a mobile. The screen of the mobile was smashed, sadly she put it back inside, she couldn't call Mark and ask him what had happened, bag in tow Arizona left her ICU room, she had a mission, find Callie, Mark, and their baby. Was Mark the one keeping them apart, Arizona knew he's wanted Callie for himself, had he poisoned her mind? It was one of millions of possibilities, determined to find Callie, Arizona left the room, she saw a nurse, walking in the corridor with an orderly pushing a bed, she ducked back into the room, she couldn't trust them, she couldn't trust anyone.

She used the wall to support her the ground swaying as she walked, checking the ICU patient board she could see Callie wasn't listed. That had to be a good thing she decided. She walked past one of the bays, an image flashing into her head, Callie lying on a ventilator, a bandage across her head. She stared at the bed, an old man was there now, so why was she imagining Callie in his place? Callie had only been in hospital once, and that had been chicken pox. Confused she left the ICU, trying to work out where Callie would be and just how long she had been in a coma for. She passed the OR scrub board, Callie wasn't down to operate, neither was Mark, she could see Shepard, Bailey, Webber, listed, even some of the attendings, Karev, and Grey, were they allowed to operate solo now, had they passed the boards? Then there were the new names, Pierce, Riggs, maybe they were covering Peds and Ortho? She guessed had they replaced her already, replaced Callie, was she that easy to replace? The intrusive thoughts kept coming, tell her she'd never been wanted here, that she was worthless, that they were keeping Callie away from her, that she was nothing to her daughter. Ignoring them she pushed forwards.

The OR board gave another clue as to how long she'd been in a coma for, October 12th, she'd proposed to Callie on 8th May, over 6 months ago. Had she been asleep for that long? Maybe that's why Callie wasn't there, she'd been discharged home, Mark would be there looking after her and their baby, it would have been born by now. Excited to meet her daughter Arizona carefully made her way to the freight elevator, the exit was closer to their apartment, and she didn't think Derek, Bailey or Webber would approve if they found her wondering the corridors. The elevator dropped her to the ground floor, strangely she saw nobody, something big must be drawing people's attention not that Arizona was arguing, she crossed the road, again marveling at just how close they lived to the hospital, it was so convenient. Callie had been so smart buying this place. Arriving at the outer door a woman was exiting Arizona caught the door taking the lift to the 5th floor.

She opened her handbag taking out her keys, searching her keys she was surprised to find her front door key missing. She searched her bag, finding only her hospital ID, and smashed phone, it must have broken in the crash. Still hopefully Callie or Mark would be home they could let her in, excitedly Arizona made her way down the corridor.

She knocked on her front door first, excited to see Callie. She just hoped Callie didn't hate her, she'd taken her eyes off the road, she hadn't seen the truck, it was her fault Callie had been hurt, she jut prayed they were both okay.

The door opened, to her surprise a man answered he was in his 20's with blonde hair spiked with blue streaks running through. Arizona frowned, not recognizing him,

"Hello, can I help you?" he asked politely,

"Call…lie" Arizona said, her speech slightly better, she had practiced Callie's name a few times now.

"Huh?" he asked, "Are you okay?" Arizona hadn't seen a mirror, but she could feel the itchiness of the bandage around her head and the pounding of a headache. She was ignoring it all, she needed Callie,

"Isssss…Call…lliie…h…ereee" she slurred,

"Is Carly here?" he repeated, Arizona shook her head,

"Ca….i….pee" she tried again,

"Sure, you can pee, the toilet is through there" he said opening the door wider, Arizona shook her head no, she could see inside the apartment it was decorated totally different that when she'd last been here. It's a trap, don't go inside, the voices whispered,

"Ca….ee"

"A woman, you're looking for a woman" he checked. Arizona nodded pleased that while who she was looking for was misunderstood, she had got closer, "I don't know a Carly, or Cathy, there is no woman that lives here, it's just my boyfriend and we have lived here for 3 years now," he explained, "Are you okay though, I mean you look awful like you should be in hospital or something" he asked worriedly, Arizona ignored him, that's where they wanted her to go, they wanted her separated from Callie from Mark, from her baby.

What did he mean 3 years? She couldn't have been in a coma that long. He had to be mistaken, he must mean Seattle for 3 years. It had to be a lie, he had to be trying to trick her. It couldn't have been 3 years; she hadn't been in a coma for 3 years. Her muscles would have atrophied more, there would be no way she could get up and walk after 3 years, it had to be a lie. Nothing made sense, her head was pounding as she tried to work it out, it had to be a mistake, a conspiracy against her.

Maybe Mark could explain, she turned her back to him instead knocking on Mark's door. This time a woman in her 60's with greying hair answered,

"Mmmmm…..kkk" Arizona slurred, she was a lot older than his normal type but she wouldn't put anything past him, she was getting frustrated again the words just not coming out with how she was saying them in her head.

"She is looking for a woman, Carly, or Cathy, and a Mark?" the man from opposite translated, Arizona nodded.

"I brought this from an estate, there was a crash, a doctor died, it was very sad" the woman explained, Arizona could hear ringing in her ears, a doctors died. Had Callie died? Is that where she was, why she wasn't at her bedside? Oh God, had Callie and the baby died or just Callie? Had Mark taken their baby and left? Is that why everything had sold? Sobbing she knew where she needed to go next. Ignoring the concerns shout of the young man and the woman Arizona headed back to the lift, the door closed before they could reach her. Callie couldn't be dead, she just couldn't they were just trying to make her think that she'd prove them wrong.

She walked quickly out of the apartment building and back to the hospital this time heading downwards deep into the bowels of the hospital, to the mortuary. It was empty of living people the doors to the dead closed. Arizona took a breath her hands shaking scared of what she might find inside but knowing she had to see, she needed to see Callie for herself.

She checked the fridges one by one, not finding Callie in any of them, instead she found a blonde-haired woman, she was pregnant like Callie had been, about the same number of weeks along at least judging by the size of the bump and she looked familiar. Maybe she'd been in one of their pre-natal classes or had been waiting to see an Obstetrician at the same time. Neither of those felt right but Arizona couldn't place it, couldn't place her. She left the mortuary, having the idea to check the PICU, maybe her daughter was there. She made her way down the corridors her right side felt even weaker than when she had started walking, still she pressed on using the walls for support, she had to find Callie and her daughter.

Entering the PICU, using her pass it was strangely quiet, only one nurse sat at the desk. Arizona ducked making sure she wasn't seen, her access pass letting her in. she checked the incubators one by one, not seeing any baby Torres, or Sloan, her eyes were drawn to an empty incubator, she could almost see a baby lying there, a mini-Callie, tubes everywhere. Sofia, the name came to her mind, Sofia Robbin Sloan Torres, it was a great name, it was one of the names Callie had mentioned just a few days ago. At least Sofia was, she had no idea about the Robbin bit, but still it sounded right. Shaking her head slightly guessing it was her imagination Arizona left the NICU. The hospital held no more answers, she stood outside the NICU her hand drifting to her bag, finding the keys. It had a car key on, a car that wasn't hers. Maybe Callie or Mark had replaced hers already? It was confusing still there was no harm in trying the staff car park.

It was raining outside, another Seattle shower. Arizona pressed the key fob to her surprise the car in the disabled space closest to the hospital flashed, not wanting to get wet she climbed inside. It was an automatic, there was no car seat, it was clean but clearly used. Was this her car, or was that what they wanted her to think? Were they watching her now? She glanced quickly outside the car she had to get out here quickly.

She started the engine, Callie had always wanted to be buried in the harbor side graveyard, she had told Arizona that when they'd made their wills once Callie had gone past the 3 months mark. It was important to make sure the baby was always going to have exactly what she needed. She didn't want to go, she didn't want to find out, but she knew she had to. If nothing else to silence the voices.

Pulling out of the space Arizona started driving, she found herself at the Graveyard. Shaking slightly, she exited the car, she knew why she was here, if she'd been in a coma for 6 months Callie wouldn't be in the mortuary, she'd be here, Arizona walked up the hill towards the tree, underneath Callie had brought a plot, inviting Arizona to share, if the worst happened, they'd be buried together. To Arizona's contention Mark had brought the plot right next to her. Still, it had views of the ocean and the Seattle skyline a view Callie wanted forever.

Nervously she approached the plot, as she got closer, she was relieved to see it undisturbed but the plot next door, Mark's plot had a headstone. It had to be a mistake, she figured as she approached, Mark couldn't be dead.

Mark Sloan

January 6th 1968- September 28 2012,

Beloved father to Slone and Sofia, and friend to all,

Alexandra Caroline Grey

March 15th 1986- August 20th 2012,

Daughter, sister, Auntie, friend,

Loved by everyone,

Missed by all,

Reunited in death,

Together forever,

Arizona sank to the floor, Mark and Lexie dead! When had that happened? Tears ran down her face, she didn't know Lexie that well but to find out they were both dead, it was devastating. She sobbed, the sobs coming out distorted, the crying making her head hurt. Arizona didn't care, her heart was breaking for Mark and for Lexie. What had happened? Where was Callie? She must be raising Sofia alone. Sofia, her daughter. Now she just had to find her.

She didn't know how long she sat by the graves of her friends, but by the time she was ready to move the sun was setting and she had gone stiff. She tried to stand but wobbled,

"Hey, are you okay?" a voice from behind startled her, Arizona nodded as a male in his 50's ran over and helped her stand holding her arm until she was steady.

"Ssss…re" she apologized,

"Are you okay? Were these your friends?" he asked kindly, Arizona nodded,

"Mmmmm….kkkkk, Lllleee….eeee" she said,

"Were you in the plane crash too?" he asked eyeing up the bandages and bruises to her head. Arizona frowned, a plane crash, she'd been in a car crash, not a plane crash so why was it sounding so familiar?

"Miss" he said, Arizona realized she'd drifted off, "Can I call someone for you, I don't think you should be here alone," he asked suspiciously. She had a hospital bracelet on, half her hair was shaved, the white bandage on her head was stained with blood, she was slurring her words and her right-hand grip was weak compared to the left even though she was holding onto him for dear life.

"Cllee" Arizona slurred, this was the closest she had gotten to Callie's name,

"Have you got a number?" he asked, Arizona frowned, she didn't have anyone's number, her phone was smashed,

"NNnnnn" Arizona told him,

"How long ago were you discharged from hospital?" he questioned, at Arizona's surprised look he nodded to her wristband and marks on her wrist from a cannulas and blood draws. She ignored him, not wanting to be sent back not when she was even more determined to find Callie and her daughter Sofia. She walked away as he was searching for his phone. Another grave caught her attention,

Derek Sheppard

July 3rd 1966- March 26th 2015

Husband, father, son, brother, surgeon,

This time Arizona laughed this wasn't real it couldn't be he'd been on the surgical board scrubbed in on a craniotomy, he couldn't be dead, this was part of the conspiracy, they wanted to separate from Callie, they wanted to keep them apart, Arizona was determined not to let them. She walked back to Mark and Lexie's grave, another failure, 2012, how could they die in the future? Whoever was setting this up was stupid. She couldn't have been in a coma that long, she wouldn't be walking, she wouldn't be so functional. No, Callie was out there and she was going to find them. Returning to her car, Arizona took a minute to try to think of the next step, her eyes drawn to the map, and the button next to it pressing Nav, one of the options was home, she pressed it deciding to follow the directions.

20 minutes later she pulled up outside a one level house in the suburbs not far from the hospital. It had rose bushes growing down the side, just like she had always dreamed off. She pulled up onto the drive knowing instinctively which house was hers.

Using the keys, she tried three before one fitted into the lock. Opening the door, she steadied herself against the wall trying to prepare herself for what she was going to face. A nicely decorated hall lounge lay in front of her but that's not what caught her attention, a photo on the wall. Callie, Mark, and her holding a baby that could only be Callie's they were smiling, laughing. The only problem was Arizona had no recollection of when it was taken. It seemed so real, but it couldn't be, how was it real when she had never met her daughter before.

She took it off the wall walking into the lounge, only to see another photo, in this one a 6-year-old mini-Callie sat next to her, they each had a huge ice-cream in front of them.

Confused she sat staring at both pictures, when were they taken? How did she not remember them? It had to be fake, there was no other explanation. Otherwise, it had been years since the car crash, years she couldn't remember, surely her muscles would have atrophied in that time. Still things weren't making sense, the only thing Arizona was sure of was she needed Callie and Sofia. Callie wouldn't lie to her, Callie would tell her the truth. Callie couldn't lie to her, Arizona knew all her ticks, she knew when Callie was lying, she needed Callie.

Putting the photos down she walked through the house finding what had to be her bedroom. She checked the wardrobe, it only had her clothes in, none of Callie's. Where was Callie? She went into the bedroom next door guessing it was Sofia's. It was decorated for a 6-year-old, not the nursery she had set up just last week. The final bedroom was the biggest surprise, decorated in Navy blue, male's clothes strewn everywhere.

Mark was dead, Tim was dead, so who on earth was she living with? Alex? A photo on the nightstand gave clues but Arizona didn't recognise him, he looked familiar, but she didn't know his name. Again, she began laughing, this time hysterically, they had really messed up if they expected her to believe she was living with a man, a man! Like she would ever live with a man, the last man she'd lived with was her dad. The only other male she could even contemplate living with was Mark, but these weren't Mark's clothes and that wasn't Mark in the picture.

Why wasn't Callie there? Where was Sofia? She pondered. Leaving the bedrooms Arizona headed to the kitchen intent on getting a glass of water. Going straight to the cupboard with the glasses in unsure of how she knew. It was like she'd been here before.

Sitting on the kitchen island with the glass of water she pondered what she knew so far. Using the notepad, she got a pen intent on writing down her thoughts. On what they were trying to get her to believe, trying to spot the gaps.

Sofia had been born and was now 6 or 7? Had she lost that much time? They'd said at the apartment they'd been there for 3 years, so what was it 7 years or 3? Whoever was setting this up was making silly mistakes. Not even getting the story straight, what else was there?

Mark, Lexie and Derek all dead? When? How could they be dead? When the OR board said Shepard was operating, it was another fault with whoever set this up. She rubbed her pounding head, the thoughts muddling her mind, making it ache.

Her leg had been amputated, was it by the car crash or something else? She'd never willingly let anyone cut off her leg so it must have been while she was out, but why, and when.

Lastly most importantly, where was Callie and Sofia? Seattle, or further afield? Had she blamed Arizona for the crash? Did she have Sofia? Did she hate her or was someone keeping her away?

Was this a conspiracy or had she lost a chunk of her memories? Neither option seemed particularly pleasant. It had to be a conspiracy, there were to many inconsistencies for it to be memory loss. For one, Callie would be there when she woke up, Callie had promised she would always be there for her.

She left the notepad, her stomach rumbling, on the fridge was a postcard, from the statue of liberty in New York. She picked it up curiously reading the back.

Mommy

We arrived in New York and it's really cool. It has a huge park with lots of slides. We went to a show about a green witch, and they did lots of songs and dances! Mamma sings better though. I love you lots.

Sofia

Arizona read it 3 times. Callie was in New York with Sofia; her gut confirmed it. What was better was the address on the postcard. Grabbing a bag of crisps Arizona went to her room grabbing some clothes and a hat to cover her bandage.

Even if it was a conspiracy, even if it wasn't real, even if she had lost several years of memories, she needed her family, and now she had a chance all she had to do was to follow the clues.

She was going to New York she was going to find her family!

I hoped you liked it,

Before i get critics about Arizona doing so much after waking for a coma, i have worked in nursing for 19 years and have seen incredible things people do when they are distracted, we had a lady walking up to the nurses station with a dislocated him, a man who saw his jaw off with a chainsaw sat patiently for over an hour waiting, a man who fell 30ft had multiple rib and spinal fractures drove himself to hospital. I once had a patient who woke up from his brain surgery realised he was late for work and walked off the ward, he made it 2 towns over via bus before the police found him.