Hawk lay on his bed, one arm behind his neck. He had just showered and was still shirtless, wearing only sweats and socks. The wet strands of his hair fell to his forehead, and he was beginning to feel cold, but he barely noticed. He kept staring at his phone.

He knew he should have called Sky. He knew he should have just come clean with what had happened and apologized - but he just couldn't get it done. How the Hell was he going to even start that conversation? Hi babe, I just happened to brag to my friends about banging you today, hope you don't mind, I'm really sorry btw.

No. Just no.

He rolled his eyes at his thoughts and let out a frustrated groan.

Maybe he was overthinking this. Maybe Sky would never find out and he was freaking out over nothing.

But… Demetri's words kept playing on repeat in his ears. Just wondering what Sky would think if she knew. Those words were a threat. That fucking nerd had the nerve to threaten him—

He should have just beaten Demetri up, right there in the parking lot. Beat him up so badly that he would have been too fucking scared to talk. Because Hawk had a bad feeling that Demetri wasn't as scared of him as he should have been, that he didn't really believe that Hawk would fucking kill him if he talked.

But even if Demetri kept his mouth shut, there were still other ways this thing could backfire. What if Assface and Rickenberger couldn't keep quiet? What if they started talking about this in school, and Sky overheard them?

Hawk let out a desperate groan. That would be even worse than Sky finding out from Demetri.

Shit. I should just call her and tell her I fucked up. If she hears it from me instead of someone else, it might not be that bad—

The phone in his fingers started ringing, and Hawk's heart jumped to his throat, almost choking him.

"Hi babe—" he breathed, bringing the phone to his ear. "What's up?"

"You're gonna act like nothing happened?"

He could hear that she'd been crying, and that made him feel awful. It brought a bad taste to his lips, and he swallowed hard, trying to repel it. It was clear to him now, that lying was out of option - it was too late for that.

"Demetri told you, huh?"

"Yes, he did," Sky replied, her voice thick and wet with tears. "What the fuck, Hawk?"

"Shit. It's not like that. Demetri's fucking overreacting. He's trying to turn you against me," Hawk groaned and sat up, throwing his legs over the edge of the bed.

"This so isn't about Demetri. This is about us."

"Yeah, I know—"

"And don't tell me he's overreacting. I wanna know what happened. Who were you talking to? And what did you tell those assholes?"

"Just Assface and Rickenberger. And I told them nothing! Okay? Nothing that matters! I didn't even tell them it was you."

A short silence followed his outburst. He ran a hand through his hair which was still wet after the shower, as he leaned his elbows to his knees. His chest was heaving but still, he felt like he wasn't getting enough air.

"You didn't tell them it was me?"

Christ, there might still be a way out of this mess if I just play my cards right—

"No, I swear. They think it was just some random chick."

Sky let out a sound that could have been a sob or a laugh and Hawk's stomach dropped to his knees. "Is that supposed to make me feel better? That you told them you were banging some random slut in the janitor's closet?"

"I didn't say slut, I said—"

"I know what you said." Sky breathed, sobbing. "I— I can't fucking believe you. Why? Just why would you talk about me like that? You— you must've known how I would feel—"

He heard she was crying now and it felt like his heart was ripped out of his chest. He had sworn to keep a smile on his lips. He had sworn never to make her cry again. But now she was silently sobbing at the other end of the line, and no matter how hard Hawk tried telling himself this was Demetri's fault because Demetri had been the one to tell her, he knew it wasn't exactly true.

"I didn't mean to. I wasn't gonna tell anyone. I fucking swear it, Sky. It was an accident—"

"An accident?"

Hawk could almost hear how she frowned.

"I dropped the condom, they saw it. What the fuck was I supposed to say? I had to explain it."

"You could have said it was none of their business. Because it isn't!"

"Come on, it doesn't work like that—"

"You described my boobs? My ass? Seriously, Hawk - what else? Did you tell them how you fucked me? Huh? Have you told them about other stuff too? All the things we've done? How I've sucked your dick?"

"No, fuck— I would never…" he replied, knowing it was a half-truth at best. He had laughed along with the guys, had made it all sound like he was a fucking sex King and he could do anything he wanted to his girl.

"Did— did you show them—" Sky took a shaky breath. Her voice was thick with tears. "— the pictures I've sent you?"

Sky's question felt like a slap on the face. It made Hawk flinch.

"What? Why would you even ask something like that—?"

"Just— just answer the question. Did you show them my nudes?"

"Jesus, no! I would never do something like that—"

"Well how am I supposed to trust you? I never thought you'd talk about me like that to your friends either."

"Sky, come on," he pled, his voice dry and thick in his throat. "I'm sorry. I know I fucked up, but Sky I swear I didn't mean to hurt you—"

He heard that she was crying harder at the other end of the line and it felt like someone was carving out his heart with a way too dull knife. The pain in his chest was agonizing. He would have done anything to make it stop, to make Sky stop crying. He couldn't understand how things had spiraled to Hell like this. One moment he had been fucking her in the closet and she had walked away from him, a smile lighting up her face, her hair flying in the air behind her like a cloud of fire - and the next moment she was… what? Was she breaking up with him?

That thought almost made him throw up. His stomach went tight with fear.

"You made me feel so stupid—" Sky sobbed. "Like— Like I'm a stupid slut. Like I— I don't de-deserve better— And so— soon everyone's go—gonna know. And they'll, they'll ca-call me slut again. Cra—crazy slut—"

"No, baby, no—" he groaned through his thick throat. "No, no one's gonna find out! The guys are gonna forget all about it soon, It was just stupid joking, I never meant it—"

"You— you think this is a joke?"

"No! Shit—" he stood up, the tension in his body forcing him to move. He couldn't stay on the bed, he had to do something, anything. "I didn't mean that—"

"Then I— I don't know wha— what you mean. Bu— but how would I? I'm so stupid, I'm so fucking stu— stupid—" she stopped mid-sentence to sob, to gasp for air.

"Sky, no. You're not stupid, I am. I fucked up. Where are you? I'm coming over—"

"No, I— I don't wanna see you."

"Please, I'm worried about you."

"I said no! Le— leave me alone!"

And she hung up, leaving Hawk standing shirtless in his room, the phone in his trembling hand. Water was still dripping from the red strands of his hair to the bare skin of his neck when he threw the phone to the bed and started crying.

Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays to you all!