It had been 3 months since Sybbie had her innocence stolen from her, it had been 3 months of hell to say the least. She had completely changed; she'd lost so much weight that her dresses were hanging off of her and she'd had to get new ones specially ordered in as they didn't cater for girls as small as she was at the boutique she would normally go to. Mary and Matthew were not amused at all by the state she was now in. They first noticed about a month after William violated her.
Sybbie had been getting herself dressed in her room, even though it had been a month since the worst day of her life and her bruises and marks were mostly all healed, she would still not allow Anna to dress her at all. She felt too ashamed to let anyone see her, she felt dirty and unclean. It was almost like she couldn't tolerate to be in her own skin anymore. She hated William for everything he had done to her, for everything he had taken from her. Her virtue, her childhood, her innocence. All gone, all because he couldn't respect her decisions.
She picked out a dress from the rack and put it on her body, she watched in horror as the once close fitting dress fell to her ankles. She couldn't believe it, this dress had fit perfectly barely a month ago. There was a loud knock on the door and she panicked.
"Who is it?" Sybbie said, trying to pull up her dress and secure it with safety pins.
"It's Aunt Mary," she said, peaking her head through the door. She raised an eyebrow in concern as she saw her niece's thin frame, looking at the way her dress barely clung to her body.
"Sybil Mary Cora Branson!" she exclaimed, rushing over to her and fixing her dress. Sybbie all put recoiled again, like she had done most days since it happened, that's all she seemed to do nowadays.
"Yes, Aunt Mary?" She said innocently, avoiding eye contact as she felt so incredibly guilty for everything she was keeping a secret.
"You've lost weight again, you're practically wasting away to nothing! Your dress is hanging off of you.. are you trying to lose weight? You look ill!" Mary fussed, concern flooding her face. All she wanted to do was wrap her up and keep her safe, she could tell that the young girl was bitterly unhappy about something and it was breaking her heart.
"No Aunt Mary, I promise I'm not trying to lose weight.. I've just been busy and you know I don't have much of an appetite.. I promise to do better though," Sybbie whispered and wrapped her arms around her slim body.
Mary raised an eyebrow, not really sure what to say or do about the matter. She wrapped her arms around the young girl, her frown deepening as Sybbie stiffened under her touch, something was so desperately wrong.
"Ok sweetheart.. well, I'll see you downstairs for breakfast" She turned away and walked out of the room vowing to get to the bottom of whatever this was.
Two months after they had first noticed and nothing had improved, she'd gotten even worse. She would sit in the dining room with a full plate and play with it, cutting it up into small pieces and pretending to eat it. Most of the time she would just give her food to George, who was always happy to receive seconds, thirds and even fourth helpings of bacon and sausage. It worked for a while, she managed to deceive her aunt and uncle into thinking that she was eating normally again and that everything was alright. It was only when Mary had given her a new dress that she had ordered for the winter season and saw how small it was that she figured it out.
"What is this young lady?!" Mary glared, holding the tiny dress up whilst Matthew, George and Sybbie sat at the table having breakfast. George knew what was coming and tried to excuse himself from the table, Matthew looked confused and Sybbie hid her head in her hands.
"Don't you even think of moving George! You've clearly been helping your cousin to lose weight! What were you thinking?! Letting her pile her food on your plate and hiding it from us!" Mary all but yelled, making George shrink under her gaze.
"Is this true Sybbie darling? Why are you trying to lose weight? You promised your aunt and I that you would start eating again..." Matthew spoke softly, gently removing her hands from her face, Sybbie jumped violently and nearly fell off her seat. George managed to push her so that she wouldn't fall off.
"I'm so sorry mama, I didn't realise how serious this was. I promise I won't do it again" George looked sad and contrite, Mary softened slightly. She knew that her son wouldn't deliberately do something that would harm Sybbie and not only that but he was going back to Radley today after a long weekend. She didn't want them all to part on bad terms.
"It's ok George, don't worry about it. I know you're sorry and I know you didn't understand the ramifications of what you were doing," Mary pressed a kiss to his cheek, watching as her boy brightened slightly.
Carson cleared away the empty dishes, staying stoically silent as usual. Mary nodded her thanks and got up with George, who wrung his hands nervously.
"Right, I'm going to the station to wave George off. Say goodbye to your cousin and father," Mary prodded gently. George went over to Sybbie and hugged her tight frowning slightly as she stiffened.
"You know I'm always here for you, I'm on your side and I always will be," he whispered in her ear and kissed her cheek. Sybbie nodded her eyes filled with tears, she always knew that he had her back. He was always there for her, always. George then turned to his father who grasped him by the back of his neck and pulled him in for a hug. It took George by surprise but he hugged him back tight, like he was a little boy all over again.
"Goodbye my dearest little chap," Matthew whispered, he couldn't help it. Seeing him so upset over his cousin like that reminded him of when he was four or five and it bought out all the paternal instincts he'd ever had.
"Goodbye papa," he whispered and followed his mother out, giving them one last final wave leaving only Matthew and Sybbie in the room. Matthew took a deep breath and beckoned for her to follow him into the library. Sybbie followed him there, her hands twisting nervously.
Matthew gestured for her to sit down, which she did. He turned to the phone and rang through to downstairs.
"Carson, can you send up a pot of tea please? Yes with milk and sugar, thank you," he ran his hand through his hair, Sybbie sat quietly wringing her hands together.
"I'm so concerned and worried about you.. we all are. You've changed into someone that we hardly recognise, you are so frail and jumpy. It's almost like you're scared of us, you know you can talk to your aunt and I about anything..." Matthew said, his eyes sparkling with love and affection. It took everything for Sybbie not to burst into tears.
"Everything's fine Uncle Matthew, It's like what I said to Aunt Mary before.. I have a small appetite anyway and I've been so busy recently. I will do better," Sybbie wrung her hands again. Matthew was about to argue knowing full well that it was a lie, he was not impressed at all. He was interrupted by Carson who came in with the tray of tea, he'd even put on a couple slices of Mrs Patmore's famous chocolate cake on there too. Matthew nodded his thanks, pouring both of them a cup of tea and placing a slice of sponge cake in front of the young girl.
"Please eat this, you're wasting away. I know some girls worry about their weight but you don't need to my darling. You are beautiful just the way you are,"
Sybbie picked up the fork and put it into the cake, taking a few bites and drinking her tea. Matthew mirrored her actions, his heart swelling with pride. When she was finished, she put her fork down and drank some more of her tea.
"It's got nothing to do with my weight.. I'm not worried about my weight Uncle Matthew," She whispered as a few tears slid down her cheeks which she hastily swiped away.
"Then what is it? Why aren't you eating? Here take this darling," he fished into his pocket for his handkerchief, gently handing it to her which she accepted gratefully.
"I just hate who I am, if I tell you what it is then you'll hate me too and I can't bare that. I am disgusting and dirty, pathetic, stupid! The list goes on!" A sob hitched in her throat as she tried to explain, breaking apart in front of the one man who had never let her down. Who had showed her almost as much kindness as her beloved papa, my god how much she missed him.
Matthew couldn't believe what he was seeing and hearing for that matter, he leaned forward slightly and took her small hand in his, getting more confident when instead of flinching away, she held on tight to his hand.
"Look at me... Sybbie, look at me," he paused until she looked at him, her face tear streaked and her eyes so full of pain that it haunted him.
"There is nothing that you could do that would make me hate you, ever. I love you so much, I love you just as much as I love George, you will always be apart of this family my dearest girl," he cooed talking to her in the same way that you would talk to an infant.
Sybbie fell apart even more and got up sharply, pacing up and down the library. Matthew slowly followed her, growing even more worried by the way she was acting.
"You don't understand!' She screamed, taking both herself and him by surprise. She sobbed even more, falling to her knees and babbling more about how much both he and her aunt would hate her.
He knelt down on his knees, slowly edging forward so as not to startle her further. He reached out and picked her up in his arms, instead of recoiling away like she had done previously, she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. Screaming and sobbing on his shoulder, wailing in a way he'd never heard before.
"Make it stop! Please Uncle Matthew... it hurts, please I can't do it!" she wept, burying her face into his neck soaking his collar with her tears. Matthew tightened his hold on her, carrying her towards the sofa. He sat down and cradled her in his lap as though she was a very small child.
"I've got you, oh my darling. You're safe now, please let us help you." He whispered, gently rocking her back and forth.
Sybbie buried into his chest, getting more and more hysterical by the moment. Matthew stroked her hair, gently kissing her forehead.
"Shhh take deep breaths.. you're going to make yourself sick if you don't calm down.." he wiped her eyes, only looking up when he heard the door open.
Mary came into the library, her heart broke at the sight. Seeing her niece in such a state, seeing the way her husband was lovingly cradling and comforting her made her fall in love with him all over again.
"Sybbie... What's the matter, love? Matthew... what on earth?" She whispered, going over to them and enveloping them both in an embrace.
"Hate myself... disgusting... dirty... never be clean again," Was some of the things Mary could hear that was muffled by Matthew's chest. Mary's blood ran cold in her veins as she began to piece together exactly what was wrong with the young girl.
She'd been there herself many years ago, when the Turkish diplomat, Kemal Pamuk took terrible advantage of her. The way she felt, how she would never be clean again, how violated she felt. She couldn't believe that her niece, her little niece had been violated in that way.
"Sybbie... shhhh look at me. I need to ask you something important ok?" Mary slowly lifted the young girl's face off of Matthew's chest. She took a deep breath, she felt sick.
"Did... has anyone hurt you? I need you to be honest, my darling. It's ok... you can tell us," Mary stroked her hair, Matthew tightened his arms around the little girl, his face draining of all colour. It all made perfect sense now, the weight loss, how jumpy she was and how she couldn't bare to be touched. Sybbie broke down even more, she felt so ashamed.
"Please don't make me say it... please I can't," She sobbed pitifully, hiding her face within Matthew's chest, he stood up with her in his arms and glanced down at Mary, they were both horrified.
"It's ok little one, you don't have to say it. I know... I know, we don't have to talk about this right now. But, I am so proud of you... I know how much courage that took for you to tell us, you did nothing wrong," Matthew cooed holding her tight and protectively, tears fell down his cheeks when he felt her relax in his arms and whimper pitifully.
Mary stood up, whispering sweet nothings in her niece's ear telling her how proud she was, that she was safe and that no one would ever hurt her again. That they wouldn't let them. They just stood protectively hugging the little girl until they could hear her soft snores. They walked out from the library and up the stairs towards their bedroom, Matthew cradling Sybbie protectively, shushing her whenever she would whimper and stir.
He placed her on their bed, leaving the room so that Mary could put a nightgown over Sybbie and tuck her up. He only came back in when Mary told him to, he had been crying a lot; she could tell. She wiped his tears and her own, they both sat on either side of her.
"I can't believe we didn't see this... me especially after Pamuk, I should've known better," Mary sobbed slightly and Matthew stroked her cheek soothingly.
"You couldn't have known darling, none of us could. But, we do now and I swear when I find out who did this to her, I'm going to kill them," Matthew growled, only softening slightly when Mary cupped his cheek and kissed him.
"We need to be there for her now, she's so young to be going through this," Mary said shakily, snuggling her niece protectively. My god, Tom and Sybil I am so sorry.
"We will be there for her darling, every step of the way." Matthew vowed, unknowing how painful the road ahead was going to be.