Sybbie awoke with a loud scream, she looked around the room and hid her face in her hands. She burst into sobs, trying her best to keep quiet so as not to wake her aunt, uncle and cousin up. It was short lived, Matthew stirred beside her becoming increasingly concerned by her tears. He gently smoothed her hair back from her face and shushed her quietly.
"Sybbie darling... are you ok? What's happened?" He said softly, rubbing her back in small soothing circles. Sybbie just shook her head in response, sobbing even more into her hands. She couldn't get her breath back, she couldn't think straight at all. Her heart was racing a mile a minute and Matthew was becoming concerned, he gently took her hand and pulled her from the bed. He glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece and saw it was 7:30am, he knew they were both getting no more sleep.
"Would you like to go for a walk around the estate? Just you and I before breakfast? We can take some hot chocolate out and have a chat... does that sound good?" He said softly, wiping her tears away with his thumb. Sybbie looked up at him and nodded, nearly bursting into a fresh round of tears all over again.
"Yes please daddy," She whimpered uncontrollable tears slid down her cheeks and she burrowed into Matthew's embrace. He picked her up in his arms and took her out the room, leaving Mary and George sleeping blissfully unaware of what was going on. He closed George's bedroom door quietly behind them both and put the young girl down, soothingly patting her back.
"Ok sweetheart, go and get ready and I'll meet you by the front door in 20 minutes. Does that sound good?" He said softly, smiling at the little girl encouragingly. She nodded and made her way to her bedroom, she selected the most comfortable dress she could find and the thickest coat in her wardrobe. She put it on, kicking herself for crying again. She was so frustrated by her inability to keep her emotions in check, all she wanted was to be able to shut her emotions off and then maybe it wouldn't hurt so much.
After around 20 minutes or so, Sybbie made her way down the stairs and to the front door. She saw her uncle/second father and smiled bravely up at him, he could see right through it of course. He took the flask of hot chocolate from Carson and smiled his thanks, unsure where they would be without him.
"Thank you Carson, could you please tell Anna that Miss Sybbie and I have gone on a walk? Just in case Lady Mary was wondering. We shouldn't be too long," Matthew smiled at the butler politely and took Sybbie's hand, leading her out of the front door and towards the duck pond. Sybbie stayed close to his side, having not been out for a walk since William she felt very scared. Although, she pushed that fear down knowing that he would never let anyone hurt her.
"I used to bring both you and George down here to feed the ducks when you were little," He said softly as they reached the pond. He reached into his pocket and Sybbie smiled softly when she saw what he was holding, two huge slices of bread. He handed one to her, a small smile etched on his face, "For old times sake?" He said softly, smiling as the little girl broke up the piece of bread to feed to the ducks.
"I remember daddy... it was some of my happiest times, you were the only one who could take me as papa was terrified of ducks and water for that matter," Sybbie said reminiscing about the past and all the memories that they had in this garden, Matthew's smile grew bigger as he too remembered taking the two children out. The way their small hands fit into his, their squeals of delight when they saw the ducks gliding through the water and the way they threw the bread into the pond, sometimes whole ready for the ducks to eat.
"Then George and I fell in that time do you remember?" Sybbie said with a small giggle, Matthew's ears turned pink in embarrassment. Oh yes, he remembered. How could he forget? Mary and Tom were both livid when he came up carrying two sopping wet children, both giggling in delight and yelling how they went swimming with the 'duckies'. He never lived it down.
"Oh yes, I remember! Your papa was most unimpressed and so was nanny if I remember correctly. She was furious as you both were wearing your best clothes," he said with a grin, Sybbie giggling too. Matthew took a picnic blanket from his bag, laying it on the grass and sat down, gently pulling Sybbie to sit down with him. He opened the flask and poured some hot chocolate into two mugs, handing one to the young girl who nodded her thanks.
"Thank you daddy," she said softly and took small sips from the cup, snuggling into his side. He hugged her tight, running his hand through her hair soothingly and took a deep breath. Now to get to the bottom of what happened earlier in the morning, he took a deep breath and refilled her cup of cocoa.
"What happened this morning sweetheart? I was so worried about you... you were working yourself up into such a state that I was worried that you'd throw up!" He said gently, rubbing her back when he felt her tense up and sigh pitifully. He could feel her trembling in his arms and it always made his paternal instincts rocket when that happened. Sybbie felt tears pool in her eyes, trying to blink them away as quickly as she could.
"I had a bad dream again... It was about William and everything that happened," Sybbie shuddered as she mentioned his name, feeling safe when Matthew lifted her up onto his lap, cradling her protectively in his arms. Matthew hated that she was going through this, all he wanted to do was protect her from this nightmare! To protect them all from this, it hurt that he couldn't do that for them.
"It was all my fault... all of this mess is my fault!" Sybbie said, hiding her face into Matthew's chest. He stared down in horror, there was something about the way she said it that made him think that she wasn't just talking about William and what had happened with her. He rocked her in his arms, slowly stroking her hair and kissing her forehead. How he wished that he could take this pain away from her.
"What do you mean, love? What's your fault?" He said it with so much love and understanding that Sybbie burst into tears, she didn't deserve their love and kindness. Not when all of this was her doing, everything was her doing. She had ruined the entire family and she would never ever forgive herself.
"Well, I killed my mama. She died giving birth to me if I'd not been born then she'd still be alive, I got my papa killed... if I'd not gone to that stupid political meeting then he never would've gone out in the car... I wasn't strong enough to fight William off and now I have no virtue, I probably have permanent injuries and George lost his best friend! Now George is battered and bruised and it's all my fault!" She wailed pitifully, sobbing within her uncle's chest, hiding herself from any prying eyes that could potentially be watching her.
Matthew couldn't believe what he was hearing, the guilt he felt and the guilt Mary would feel when he told her was like nothing he'd ever felt before. He hugged her tight, his heart was breaking as she told him all the things that were bothering her. Things that must have been bothering her for years, he couldn't believe that they had never thought that she would feel responsible for her parents death.
"Sybbie... no. It wasn't your fault baby, your mama died from a medical condition called preeclampsia. By the time the doctors knew it was too late, there was nothing that could've been done. As for your papa... Sybbie, you were 12! You made a mistake in going to the meeting but you are allowed to make a mistake! You were a child, it was just an awful accident. As for what that monster did to you..." He growled keeping her cradled in his lap.
"He took something from you, something that he had no right to take from you. You said no, that's rape! You trusted him and he abused that trust, anyone who gives you grief and says you have no virtue then you send them to me or mummy for that question! Maybe even George, he's seemingly got a good right hook!' Matthew said, smiling as he got a small giggle from the child. Sybbie snuggled in his arms, playing with the cufflink on his shirt.
"He took advantage of you and the situation darling, he hurt you. He forced you, it's like when mummy first told me about Pamuk and what he had done to her, she was so worried that I would hate her. But how could I? He coerced her by threats... physical force isn't the only way to rape someone, sweetheart. As for George, he loves you. He was devastated when he found out, he was going to attack William come hell or high water! You are not to blame. Do you understand?" He said soothingly, rubbing her back and hugging her tight until her tears stopped.
After an hour or so, they made their way up to the house. Sybbie felt a little better after her talk, she felt safe and was slowly believing that she had done nothing wrong in the situation. Matthew smiled down at her, opening the big front door and allowing them to slip inside. They took off their coats and made their way into the dining room. Mary and George looked up, Sybbie couldn't help but wince as she took in George's bruised face.
"There you both are! We were about to send out a search party!" Mary said teasingly, smiling when Sybbie giggled and sat next to George. She helped herself to a big plate of bacon, sausages and scrambled eggs. Mary smiled approvingly, happy with the portion size on her plate.
"Sybbie and I just needed some fresh air and a chat," Matthew said communicating with Mary through his eyes that they'd talk about it later. Mary nodded in understanding, buttering a piece of toast and sipping her tea. George smiled at Sybbie, nudging her with his elbow and sporting a crooked grin.
"Look at my battle scars Syb! You know what they say, girls dig a bad boy!" He giggled which then made Sybbie laugh and almost choke on her eggs. Mary rolled her eyes affectionately, glancing at Matthew who was giggling between his hands. Yep, definitely a copy of his father alright!
"Alright George! Clearly we don't need to inflate your ego anymore," Mary said teasingly, rubbing at her son's hair affectionately as he giggled. This was the most they had all laughed in a long time. Mary finished her food, dabbing at her mouth with her napkin and turned slightly serious. She turned to both children, raising her eyebrow a little.
"I do want to have a little talk about the both of you conspiring and trying to keep things from us! It's dangerous and I don't like it, you could both end up getting hurt. For example, Sybbie you putting food on George's plate was incredibly bad! You lost a ridiculous amount of weight, and as for you George last night sneaking in and getting your cousin to help clean you up! You were really badly hurt, what if you had slipped and fell in the bath and drowned because Sybbie wasn't able to get you up! Please don't keep things from us," She said looking between both children who smiled sheepishly.
"Sorry, Mother!" George said with a grin, which was soon followed by Sybbie's apology and assurance that she would never ever doing that again. Mary smiled, finally placated that they wouldn't try and keep things from her or Matthew in the future. She felt that they were really turning a corner here. and she couldn't be happier.
Later on in the day, Matthew and Mary were alone in the library. Mary was laying in Matthew's arms, cuddling into his chest. She had been meaning to ask him about this morning and about Sybbie and why they had gone for that walk so early in the morning. Well, no time like the present. She looked into her husband's eyes, smoothing down his long blonde hair and kissing the corner of his mouth.
"Was Sybbie ok? Why did you leave the house so early in the morning, it was freezing cold!" She said softly, pouring them out a cup of tea when she saw the look on his face. She could tell that they were both going to need it, she frowned as she saw the upset in his eyes.
"Sybbie woke up screaming, she started crying. Sobbing actually, she was in such a state that she couldn't tell me what was wrong. So, I thought some fresh air out in the garden and hot chocolate would help her open up to me, I didn't want to wake you and George up. Especially after everything he had gone through yesterday," Matthew began and took a sip of his drink, Mary urged him to continue with a comforting hand on his arm.
"It worked, she opened up to me. Mary, it broke my heart. She was telling me how she blames herself for Sybil and Tom's death, how she blames herself for William and everything that happened with George. I think I finally managed to convince her that none of it was her fault but my god, was she upset. It never crossed my mind once that she was blaming herself for Sybil and Tom. It makes me wonder how long she has though," Matthew said softly, watching as his wife's face turned pale.
"My poor little girl... I don't care how long it takes, I will tell her until the end of time that none of this was her fault!' Mary said, holding onto her husband's hand, she looked up at him and kissed his mouth. Running a hand through his hair and taking a deep breath, love shining in her eyes.
"You are so good with her... so sweet and patient. Also, you are so good with George too and it shows in the way he behaves and deals with things, I love you so much!" Mary said nuzzling her nose against his which Matthew reciprocated, blushing at the praise his wife was bestowing on him. He was pulled out of his thoughts by a blood curdling scream coming from the courtyard.
Matthew and Mary went running in the direction of the noise, stopping in horror as they looked on at the scene in front of them. William's father had Sybbie up by her hair and George was doing everything he could to get him off of her, tears slid down her cheeks. "Why are you lying you little whore? Why are you trying to ruin my son's life!" William's father growled, Matthew rushed over and knocked the man over. Sybbie took her chance and ran to Mary, George not too far behind her.
"Mummy!" She said through sobs and jumped into her arms. Mary picked her up in her arms, inspecting her for any injuries he may have inflicted on her. Seeing no obvious one's she cradled her in her arms and kept George close too. She pressed kisses to both their foreheads, watching as Matthew turned beetroot red with anger.
"How dare you show up here! Your son has traumatised my little girl, now looking at you I see where he gets it! I'm giving you one chance to leave and I suggest you take it otherwise, I will knock you out! Don't underestimate me, I will be getting the police involved because this is ridiculous. I am not letting that monster get away with what he's put her through!" Matthew growled stalking even closer to the man, watching as he wilted under his gaze and made a dash for his car.
"Coward," Matthew muttered under his breath. Turning towards his wife and two children, he scooped them all up in a big hug. He kept his voice low and soothing, getting them into the house and into the warm. He felt physically sick, sitting on the sofa and pulling them all down to sit with him. Sybbie climbed onto Mary's lap and sobbed on her chest, Mary soothingly rubbed her back and kissed her cheek. Glancing over at Matthew, she shook her head. Their poor little girl.
"Mummy's got you... Mummy's here," She rocked her in her arms whilst she sobbed. Just when they'd gotten her to calm down and make her feel abit safer, that animal shows up. George was shaking all over, it had all happened so fast, they'd had no chance to get into the house. He couldn't believe William's father had done this, he was normally so kind. Matthew squeezed his shoulder gently and whispered how proud he was of him for protecting Sybbie.
"This is absolutely ridiculous, I will be ringing the police first thing. Enough's enough now," Matthew said glancing with worry at the catatonic state Sybbie was now in again, only this time it seemed a lot worse.