The Hated Male Concubine

by Usui Takumii

not mine, WUXIA WORLD. Beware BL.

2. 11 to 20

It was bad of him to think about his body earlier. Just because he uselessly thought whether it would look good or not in His Majesty's eyes, he couldn't help but be aware of his status as the emperor's 'concubine'. Thus, it was natural for him to get reminded of a concubine's duty, which was to serve the emperor in bed.

Just by getting reminded of it, his face burned and his breathing got heavy again. Even though Yeon Hwawoon was hated by the emperor, there was no doubt he had served the emperor, since he had lived long in the palace as a concubine.

While continuing to sit there, Hwawoon thought of those nights that couldn't be his anymore.

Although their number was small compared to female concubines, male concubines had always existed in this nation since old times. And so, since there was no prohibition for man and man to share love, there were some marriages between men amongst normal people.

However, that was only a simple form of situation in this nation. In the past, Hawoon had never touched a man before—whether physically or mentally—so he thought it was something that had no relation with him. That really was what he had thought.

What kind of person is His Majesty in bed?

That thought flew in without Hwawoon's consent. As he turned his gaze to the bed in the distance, he got so confused because he felt like seeing the emperor and the old Hwawoon mingling their bodies there.

Would he be gentle? Since he is rumored to be kind to his wife and concubines, would he also make a soft and warm expression in bed?

And just like a fixed sequence, he was reminded of the emperor's face he saw at that place on that day.

It was the first time for Hawoon to think of a man's face as beautiful. It was also the first time for him to think he wanted to stay at someone's side. He thought it was fine as long as he could see that person, and be useful for him, even though it was only from a distant place. Obviously, it was also the first time for Hawoon to have such a desire for a thing he shouldn't dream of.

Then, how different are the feelings I felt back then with the feelings Yeon Hwawoon had for His Majesty?

"… How could I think of nonsense just because I'm feeling relaxed?"

Nevertheless, Hwawoon quickly did his best to crumble the bad thoughts filling his head. It was said that people would have a lot of presumptuous thoughts when they were full and comfortable. It was just like himself now.

Whether the old Yeon Hwawoon slept with the emperor or not; whether the old Hawoon dared to have an irreverent feeling for the emperor or not; those had nothing to do with the current Hwawoon. Because those were meaningless.

Hawoon already left this world, and the disdain the emperor had for him grew bigger after he fell to the pond. Now that even his nameplate was taken out, there was no hope for him to serve the emperor ever again.

If the old Yeon Hwawoon would do any sorts of efforts to bring the emperor to his room, the current Hwawoon had no such thought and he was sure that there would be no chance for him to see that person in the future.

What kind of color is the emperor's intimate affection? How does it feel to get that person's warm gaze? It seems like I will never know about those things.

"…"

Yihan stared down at the concubines' nameplates that were presented before him. He was thinking about the only one whose name couldn't be seen among the long line of concubines' nameplates. A few days had passed since Yeonbin stayed low and cooped up in Jeongan Palace.

"Is there any news from Jeongan Palace?"

Instead of flipping a nameplate, Yihan asked Officer Wi, who was kneeling, presenting the nameplates in front of him. Officer Wi bowed his head hesitantly.

"About that…"

"How dare you hesitate in front of His Majesty?"

Only after Eunuch Oh scolded him in a low voice did Officer Wi, who was hesitating, open his mouth.

"There is no news from Jeongan Palace, Your Majesty."

"There is no news…"

"Yes, Your Majesty. Even the court lady that is always snooping around every day has never shown herself again since last week."

The officer's answer led Yihan to tap his fingertip on the table—he was lost in thought.

Yihan himself had always known of the fact that Yeonbin always sent someone to Gyeongsa-bang for the sake of bringing him to Jeongan Palace. This led people to address the officer position of Gyeongsa-bang as the position everyone avoided because of Jeongan Palace alone.

On the day when the emperor ordered him to take out Yeonbin's nameplate, Officer Wi was so worried about the things that would unfold, which led him to be unable to sleep properly all night.

"… Then, I'll go now."

Once again, the appearance of Yeonbin—nonchalantly saying farewell and turning back—vividly drawn before his eyes. Back then, Yihan wondered if he was walking back and would soon pretend to faint in order to get his attention, but Yeonbin hurried his steps and quickly hid his presence like a person who was afraid to see him, the emperor.

This time, the emperor's fingertip grazed over the nameplates in front of him one by one.

Truthfully, Yihan wanted to quickly go to Jeongan Palace. It was not to share a bed with Yeonbin. Yihan simply wanted to go to Jeongan Palace and ask Yeonbin about his scheme. He was on the verge of raging because Yeonbin was now trying to rile him up with this kind of tactic.

When Yeonbin acted annoyingly and used violence, Yihan only needed to get angry and ignore him. Then, as he turned his back and forgot him, he wouldn't think of Yeonbin again.

However, he couldn't understand why he was so disturbed by the fact Yeonbin walked out on his own. It was strange. It was really a strange thing for him.

After a while, the emperor's hand flipped a nameplate. It was the nameplate of the concubine that currently was most loved by the emperor, Sukbi of Hyeon Clan. She was the concubine that Yeonbin envied and hated the most.

"Let's see if you can continue to hide your true nature this way."

"Your Majesty?"

Hearing the emperor's sudden monologue, Officer Wi responded, but Yihan only shook his head. Then, he stared at Officer Wi and said,

"Inform Jeongan Palace that I will go to Sukbi's residence tonight."

The eunuch that would bring this news to Jeongan Palace most likely had to swallow down enormous insults, but such things didn't matter in the emperor's head now.

"You already came back?"

Officer Wi asked as he was very surprised that the eunuch he sent to Jeongan Palace had already returned.

The eunuch, who barely went to Jeongan Palace with forced steps and frightened face, answered yes with a dazed look. Officer Wi then asked again:

"Did you hurriedly come back because Yeonbin was tossing things around?"

"No, sir."

"Then, did he get angry and tell you to go back to bring me there?"

"No, sir…"

"D-don't tell me he is coming here?"

Every time the eunuch answered no while shaking his head like a lost man, Officer Wi's face gradually turned pale and stiff. He felt like Yeonbin would soon kick open the door and come in. He found Yeonbin to be more difficult than the empress, and Yeonbin was the concubine he wanted to avoid the most.

The position of Gyeongsa-bang's officer was a position where power was not particularly conspicuous in this palace. However, as it was a position to manage the emperor's night affair, and even though the officer couldn't reject the emperor's choice, it was a position the concubines tried to have a good relationship with.

People's choices were always influenced by even the smallest thing. Thus, the emperor's choice could change following what the officer, who was in charge of presenting the nameplates, said and did.

Therefore, even if they were concubines loved by the emperor, they would always treat Officer Wi politely and kindly. However, such things couldn't be expected from Yeonbin of Jeongan Palace.

If he didn't like it, he would insult the eunuchs and even the officer of Gyeongsa-bang loudly and without hesitation. On top of that, if such a thing was heard by the emperor which led him to get scolded, he wouldn't reflect on himself. Instead, he would act more wicked next time. He was a concubine with a very wicked personality; an audacious concubine that made people not be able to work properly.

In this situation where Yeonbin's nameplate was taken out, Officer Wi was so nervous about when Yeonbin would harass him. But, this time he even had to inform Jeongan Palace that the emperor visited another residence, the residence of Sukbi, who was hated by Yeonbin to boot. Officer Wi really couldn't know how his future would turn out because of these things.

However, the eunuch, who was still frustratingly at daze even after hearing Officer Wi's question, shook his head again and answered:

"About that… His Highness Yeonbin only said alright and…"

"He said alright and slapped your face?"

"No, he only said alright, then…"

"He kicked you?"

"That's also no…"

"Gosh, look at this dull kid! Can't you just say it clearly now?!"

Officer Wi shouted as he was frustrated with how the eunuch kept cutting his words, as if he forgot how to speak properly. Only then, the young eunuch stared at Officer Wi with a clueless face and said,

"His Highness Yeonbin… was quiet for a moment after hearing that His Majesty went to Her Highness Sukbi's residence. Then he said alright and… told me I've got it hard to walk this far only to tell the news…"

"…What?"

"He said that I've got it hard and told me to go since it was getting dark. Officer Wi, is this perhaps Yeonbin saying he would kill me at night?"

As he continued his words, the young eunuch's face turned pale. Even he couldn't believe what he heard. When he went to Jeongan Palace under the order of Officer Wi, he had braced himself if he were to be hit by a teacup thrown by Yeonbin. Still, at least I won't get beaten if I tell him I came to tell this under the emperor's order, right? He only went there with such a simple hope.

However, even after hearing that His Majesty visited Her Highness Sukbi's palace and ordered to deliver the news to Jeongan Palace, Yeonbin only stayed on his seat quietly. He didn't throw the teacup, and he also didn't kick him out of anger.

The eunuch was so afraid that this meant Yeonbin would give him bigger trouble later.

"They say Yeonbin has changed since he fell to the pond…"

Officer Wi murmured as he sat weakly. Just like the eunuch, strength drained out from his feet even if he didn't go to Jeongan Palace and hear those words in person.

Yeonbin had changed.

That was a talk that had been going around lately. The words that he called all the court ladies of Jeongan Palace had become the main gossip in this imperial palace.

But that was just a rumor mocking Yeonbin. Everyone who heard the rumor was sure that was only Yeobin's atrocity to attract the emperor's attention, and that wouldn't last long. Officer Wi also thought the same.

"No way…"

Officer Wi kept murmuring while his pupils were shaking out of confusion.

Gosh, no way. That's unbelievable. It's really unbelievable for someone, who never changes although His Majesty tried his best to change him all this time, to suddenly change overnight just because he experienced a near-death event.

Officer Wi still tried to think like that, but Yeonbin, who he had been seeing for a long time, was never such a clever person who would stay low and wait for the right time when executing his plan.

Then, what on earth was Yeonbin doing now? How should I accept all these unbelievable things?

As the night went on, Officer Wi's sigh also went longer. It was a very difficult task for him to survive in this imperial palace.

"Even His Majesty, sigh… He doesn't need to say such a thing…"

Ahjin, who was massaging her master's hand in the flower bath, was upset no matter how much she thought about it. She had not been in a good mood since the eunuch of Gyeongsa-bang visited.

Frankly speaking, wasn't it a very cruel move for an emperor to tell a concubine, whose name plate was taken out, which residence he was visiting? Under Yeonbin's order, Ahjin had stopped visiting Gyeongsa-bang to find out the emperor's whereabouts. However, how could the emperor send someone here? On top of that, how could he inform that he was visiting Sukbi's Unhwa Palace?

Ahjin, who had been restless because her master's health seemed to get worse recently, couldn't continue to speak more about the emperor, and her lips were twitching.

Then, Ahjin suddenly realized that her master had shown no response despite hearing her grumble, and she felt her spine turn cold. As she raised her head, she saw Yeonbin was quietly staring at her. Ahjin quickly put down the basin she was holding and kneeled.

"Forgive me, Your Highness. I've talked carelessly."

She had tactlessly made her master, whose heart was surely heartbroken, feel even worse by saying those words. Ahjin blamed herself for being this relaxed just because her master treated her generously nowadays and bit her lips.

Yeonbin's wet hands carefully grabbed Ahjin's arms and raised her up.

"Why are you always kneeling at any chance? I'm not looking at you because I was offended by you."

"Your Highness…"

"I'm only… looking at you because I feel happy that you're feeling upset for me when you've always looked tense and frightened in front of me."

Ahjin's round eyes fluttered upon hearing Yeonbin's words. Suddenly, she questioned if she was really upset because of things her master experienced.

So, I'm not afraid? I'm not afraid if Yeonbin were to vent his anger at me because His Majesty treated him badly? Am I really upset with what happened to His Highness and worried about him?

Despite having such thoughts, Ahjin couldn't believe it.

Meanwhile, Hwawoon was a bit happy. He didn't care whether Ahjin was in a shocked state.

Ever since he woke up in Yeon Hwawoon's body, everyone he encountered was just afraid of, annoyed, ignored, or even scared of Yeonbin. However, no matter how he looked at it, it didn't seem like the response Ahjin showed a moment ago was because she was afraid of him. It led Hwawoon to keep smiling, forgetting about the insult he received.

Was I feeling lonely? Hwawoon thought like that. Because everyone was busy avoiding him, this short time when he lived as Yeon Hwawoon made him feel lonely.

While having such a thought, Hwawoon felt for sure that he had gotten weaker. Nevertheless, he was living among people that only had negative feelings for him in this vast palace, on top of that, he was bearing all those while living in another person's body. No matter how easygoing Hwawoon was, it was such a tiring thing to do.

Hwawoon continued to talk while still grabbing Ahjin's arms.

"I'm fine. How could I say I'm upset when I'm being punished for what I did?"

"Your Highness…"

"Still…"

Slowing down his words, Hwawoon stared at Ahjin and smiled. It was such a bright smile that Ahjin never saw even back when he was still addressed as the young master to this day.

Ahjin lost herself in that elegant yet lovely face, and Hwawoon continued,

"Still, because you're this upset for me, I… am shamelessly happy with that."

I shouldn't get tricked. I should never have a vain dream and believe in him because he can get his memory back tomorrow and return to his old self.

Without knowing that Ahjin's heart, which held such a resolution every night, was hopelessly crumbled under his face, Hwawoon only smiled.

"Your Majesty, is that girl more important to you than me?"

Yeonbin raised his voice as if he was ready to jump out and pull that girl's hair. The emperor barely held his urge to leave Jeongan Palace at an instant and controlled his feelings as he drew a breather.

This was not even the first time Hwawoon was being ridiculous, but this was a very dumbfounding thing for everyone. Hwawoon was going berserk just because the emperor looked at a court lady that was guarding the door. Yihan never observed any court ladies like what Hwawoon claimed to be, but still, even if he did, what was the problem?

Every woman in this imperial palace was the emperor's woman, and they only looked at the emperor. If the majestic emperor liked them, then not only the concubines but even the empress couldn't disagree with it. Nevertheless, Hwawoon was currently throwing a fit just because he claimed Yihan was staring at a court lady and ignoring him.

"Hwawoon-ah."

However, instead of mentioning a concubine's etiquette and getting angry, Yihan calmly called his name in a sweet tone.

The fact that Hwawoon was sensitive with the emperor's every move, and that he vented his anger to the court ladies in his palace was already widespread in this whole imperial palace. Yihan himself also knew about that.

Even though as an emperor he could scold Hwawoon and told him to never do that again, Yihan knew that couldn't be the wise solution.

Yihan was the emperor and the things he had to think about were always piling up. He couldn't only pay attention to Jeongan Palace, and he also couldn't meddle in by finding out who Hwawoon beat and harassed every day.

He could just scold Hwawoon and go back. However, if Hwawoon didn't calm down, then during other days when the emperor did not stay at Jeongan Palace, those who were here might suffer more than before.

No matter how harsh did Hwawoon treat them, there was a difference in status between him and the court ladies—a master and slaves. Even if he was the emperor, there was a limit for him to blame and suppress Hwawoon with that.

That was why Yihan sweetly called Hwawoon's name. After all, Hwawoon grew up in a loyal retainer's home. The emperor believed he would change and follow him.

As Yihan called his name, Hwawoon was relieved at once and spoke in a rather calm voice.

"… Your Majesty, it has been long since you called my name like that."

"If you like it, then I will do it more often."

"Thank you for your grace, Your Majesty."

"Hwawoon-ah, those who serve you in Jeongan Palace might be your hands and feet, but in a broad sense, they are also the people that I have to lead and rule."

The emperor continued to talk to Hwawoon patiently in a soft voice.

A servant must be loyal to their master. They also had to be willing to give up their life for their master. Even for the emperor, there were times when he had to feign innocence of someone's injustice for the sake of the reign he led. Everyone would say that was justifiable—that it was rather an honorable chance for those who got sacrificed for this nation.

However, the emperor knew they also had their lives. He knew they had a life to protect, a desired future, and all senses of blood, flesh, joy, and pain.

The people of this nation were in a low position which made them dare not to look at their majestic emperor, but the emperor's position was a place where he had to pour out everything he had for his people, no matter how high it was. Yihan thought that an emperor should not take their pain for granted even when he had to make a heartless decision.

That was the reason why Yihan was trying to rule over Hwawoon's heart now. Yihan didn't want to see more court ladies trembling in fear every time he came to Jeongan Palace. As he brought up the topic again, he gently wrapped Hwawoon's pouty face with his hands and said,

"That's why, can't you also make an effort to treat my people with benevolence?"

Hwawoon still looked dissatisfied with those words, but soon he nodded, slightly leaning his cheek on Yihan's palm.

"… Okay, Your Majesty. I just need to do that, right? So please stop saying that and only pay attention to me."

Looking at Hwawoon, who somehow acted obediently, Yihan became more relaxed and quietly hugged Hwawoon who jumped into his arms. Although the vicious acts done by Yeonbin had not only occurred once or twice, Yihan thought it would be okay as long as he changed like this, even if it was only a little at a time. While thinking so, Yihan didn't push away the warmth that came from Hwawoon.

Then about a week later, the young court lady, which Hwawoon claimed to be the one Yihan stared at, was beaten under the reason of being disrespectful to her master and kicked out to a temple. In the end, there was news that she eventually died because she couldn't stand it anymore.

It was not the first time for Yihan's trust in Hwawoon to get broken, nor was it the last time.

"I heard that a few days ago in Suhwawon, Yeonbin made you angry again, Your Majesty."

Yihan's expression was faintly distorted by Sukbi's words that were said while she poured a glass of alcohol. However, Sukbi, who did not recognize that, continued to talk with a smile.

"It is said that people grow up after experiencing a near-death situation… I guess even that is not working for Yeonbin."

In fact, nothing was wrong with Sukbi's words. Yeonbin's nature was so incredible for it to change just because of the brink of death. Normally, Yihan would have agreed greatly with Sukbi.

However, Yihan's head was already a mess because he kept thinking about Yeonbin these days. He really wanted to stop thinking of that pitiful and pale face, that would lead innocent people to reach out and pull him into their arms. Yihan swallowed down the alcohol poured by Sukbi at once and said,

"Let's stop talking about Yeonbin."

Hearing that, Sukbi smiled gently and filled the glass again.

"Yes, Your Majesty. I have insensitively brought up that name in front of you. I must have been hurting your feelings, right?"

That also wasn't wrong. Yihan was a person, whose mood immediately turned sour when he thought of Yeonbin anytime, anywhere. Thus, it could be said that Sukbi's words did not go off mark.

"Your Majesty…"

Sukbi called the emperor while gently overlapping their hands. At that time, the emperor thought for a very short time that he wanted to get rid of Sukbi's touch and return to Anjeong Palace, but he didn't know where that feeling came from.

Yihan turned his head and saw the face of Sukbi, Hyeon Biyoung, who was waiting for him.

If the empress had the face of a neat and mature woman just like her character, Sukbi was a beautiful woman with such a gorgeous and good impression that didn't lack for the one called as the favored concubine. She could not be said to be remarkably intelligent, but she was quick-witted. She knew how to behave in front of the empress, and she rarely made the emperor annoyed.

In addition, the way she said pleasant words without getting discouraged in front of Yeonbin, who was hard to talk to, unwittingly made Yihan feel better. Yihan then slowly took a deep breath and tried to erase the discomfort he felt from Sukbi's touch earlier.

By now, the news would have been delivered to Jeongan Palace. Yihan took his drink back, thinking vividly as if he had already seen Yeonbin throwing rage and acting viciously.

The emperor awfully wanted to stop thinking about Yeon Hwawoon.

"By the way… is it really fine for me to not give morning greetings to Her Majesty?"

Hwawoon, who woke up early this morning and finished grooming, looked at his reflection that was still unfamiliar inside the hand mirror and suddenly turned his head and asked Ahjin.

Ahjin, who was fiddling with the binyeo, which she wanted to put in Hwawoon's hair but couldn't because he said it was too fancy, immediately answered Hwawoon's question.

"Normally, you should give it to her. However, the empress said it's okay not to come for the time being because of the incident last time, Your Highness."

"Hmmm… still, I guess it's not a good thing to skip it for too long. I'll do the morning greetings again from tomorrow, so please get ready."

"… Understood, Your Highness."

Ahjin barely swallowed down the sigh that was about to flow out and answered. People said out of the frying pan into the fire. It seemed like she would have to experience a massive fire tomorrow. Then, Hwawoon, who was carefully examining Ahjin's face, continued,

"Was I so profane to the empress?"

Ahjin's mouth was tightly shut. If she were to answer no, Yeonbin's behavior in front of the empress was beyond description, and to answer yes, she was wary of her master.

Alas, it was Hwawoon, who sighed this time.

"Would I be different in front of the empress if I was that bad in front of the emperor…"

"…"

"And my relationship with the other concubines… it must be a total disaster, right?"

Hwawoon shook his head because he felt like his headache occurred again. How could there be no one in this wide imperial palace that was close to him? If such a thing could be called a skill, then it really must be a skill.

Still, it was easy with the courtiers of Jeongan Palace. Whether they believed Yeonbin or not, there was nothing else he could do anyway. Hwawoon thought that if he showed them his changed self steadily for a long time, it would gradually get better.

However, it was different with the empress and the other concubines. He couldn't show them his different self just like how he showed it to the kids living in the Jeongan Palace. He also couldn't just gather them as he liked and asked them to look at him differently because he had changed.

On top of that, because of the old Hwawoon's conduct, there was no doubt they wouldn't treat him nicely like the emperor. He was really at a loss at how and where he should start to untie this knot.

Looking at Ahjin's face that also turned dark because he was pondering about those frustrating things, he felt his mood got better and said,

"Huft… I deserved it, anyway. Since I caused it, I have no other choice but to just face it."

Of course, the past events had no relation with the current Hwawoon. Still, Hwawoon thought that even if he didn't do that, he had no choice but to bear it as the price of living inside someone else's body.

It would surely be hard for now, but if from now on he followed the rule, served the higher-ups with respect, and treated his subordinates with mercy, he thought someday there would be a day when they would look at him differently. Hwawoon made up his mind as he looked at Ahjin whose attitude in front of him had changed, although only a bit.

Then, in a short moment, he wondered if there would be a day when the emperor would look back at him again if he did so, but excessive greed would always lead to further trouble.

Hwawoon decided not to be greedy.

"Why didn't he come and ask for forgiveness?"

The emperor eventually threw the letter he was holding and raised his voice. Eunuch Oh, who was bowing next to him, turned stiff in an instant.

"Your Majesty, please calm down."

However, Yihan, the emperor, didn't lower his voice even for a bit.

"Doesn't this mean he was saying he did nothing wrong, so he is holding out?"

"Your Majesty… If by any means you're talking about His Highness Yeonbin, he is behaving himself in Jeongan Pa-"

"Since when did he become so proficient at behaving himself?"

Yihan said that as he took back the letter he threw and then threw it again to other sides.

He thought Yeonbin really had planned all of this. He had taken out his nameplate, he mocked him in the garden although they only met by chance, he even told the news that he was visiting Sukbi's residence last night. As the emperor, he already did all the moves to provoke him.

However, Yeonbin didn't make any move at all. Let alone visiting Anjeong Palace or his dinner, after returning from Suhwawon last time, it was said Yeonbin really never took a step out of Jeongan Palace.

Was it only that? Even the eunuch from Gyeongsa-bang who went to deliver the news heard a nice word from him and left Jeongan Palace safely. It was clear how shocked the emperor was when he heard that.

"Now I know what's on his mind. I can see that instead of reflecting and behaving himself for real, he was planning to make me uneasy and thinking about him."

The emperor strengthened his grip on the armrests as he was now fuming. Meanwhile, Eunuch Oh, who turned anxious, calmly spoke to him.

"Your Majesty, would His Highness Yeonbin really do all of this to get under your skin?"

"Yeah, I'm sure of it. I know him too well."

Yihan sent a fiery gaze in the air as if Yeonbin was in front of him, and soon rose up from his seat because he couldn't hold it anymore.

"Alright. I'll fall for your brilliant scheme this once."

His stride was so fast that Eunuch Oh was made to nearly run only to follow him.

"We-we will go to Jeongan Palace! Hurry up and prepare the palanquin!"

Eunuch Oh's voice resonated loudly in front of Cheonggeon Hall. Meanwhile, the emperor already walked far enough as if waiting for the palanquin was frustrating.

I see that you're doing everything you can since you know I won't visit you in a normal way. Yihan bit his lips while sneering at Yeonbin inside.

The emperor made up his mind to take off Yeonbin's absurd mask for sure today.

"The flowers are blooming beautifully."

A radiant smile was shown on Hwawoon's face. It was thanks to the colorful flowers that filled the garden in Jeongan Palace. Hwawoon, who felt uncomfortable to come out ever since the Suhwawon's incident, was taking a stroll while looking at the garden inside Jeongan Palace.

Although the emperor stopped visiting Jeongan Palace because it became Yeonbin's residence for now, in the past, this palace was specially built for the favored male concubine by the reigning emperor at that time. Not to mention the grandeur of the size, every corner of it was remarkably beautiful. It was such a feasible thing to guess how much the emperor's affection for the concubine at that time was.

The male concubine, who got such a grand affection, died from a disease because he had a weak body and left the emperor earlier. Nevertheless, the emperor didn't bestow this palace to other concubines because he couldn't forget him until his last day. Not only that, in his last moment, he even left a special meaning to this place through a will that this palace could only be given to male concubines.

Even now, there was a saying that this palace was the only thing that the other concubines coveted from Yeonbin, so there was no need to discuss more about the excellence of Jeongan Palace.

In addition, this time was a moment when spring was at its peak. All kinds of flowers and trees in Jeongan Palace's garden were boasting their appearance. This showed how deep the heart of the emperor of that time was dedicated to the one called his lover.

"All of you managed this place nicely."

Said Hwawoon, while taking a look at the court ladies around him.

The young court ladies dared not to raise their heads to look at their master. The elegance that emanated from his voice, which they never felt even once, made them anxious of whether they should be afraid or not.

"This one… what kind of flower is this?"

"Th-that is purple magnolia, Your Highness…"

"Ah… I see it is named purple magnolia because of its color…"

Hwawoon had known about white magnolia since he often saw it in spring, but this was the first time he knew there was magnolia with this kind of color.

How come this has such a beautiful color when no one would have colored this? He was so fascinated that he stared at its petals for a long time. Then, he lowered his head a bit to smell the scent of purple magnolia that bloomed from a short branch, and touched the tip of his nose to its petal.

At that moment, the court ladies unconsciously raised their heads because they were so surprised with how their master stood near them without reserve and nonchalantly asked them questions. Then, gasps flowed out of their mouths.

The face of the one who was standing under the purple magnolia that bloomed splendidly—closing his eyes elegantly while flashing a gentle smile—to smell the scent of the flower was evoking an emotion that was hard to describe.

Which one was the flower and which one was the human? The beautiful person was in front of them, but they couldn't believe he was their master that harassed them all this time and treated them harshly. They could only silently watch their master's face while holding their breath because they couldn't know how they should express this alien yet entrancing feeling they felt now.

At the same time,

"Now I see that you're really enjoying this."

A sharp voice broke the peaceful atmosphere. Hwawoon turned his head because he was so surprised, and there,

"Here comes His Majesty the Emperor!"

along with a late shout from Eunuch Oh, stood the emperor.

TN: Purple magnolia = Magnolia liliiflora. I used purple only to match the next sentence.

"Greetings, Your Majesty."

Yihan stared down at Yeonbin, who hurriedly kneeled to greet him, and clenched his fists inside his sleeves. For a moment, Yeonbin's hair that hung down following his head was blown by the wind, and perhaps because of the glow that emanated following its movement, his appearance looked ethereal.

Looking at his eyes that lowered down softly along with his long and lavish eyelashes that trembled as if he was nervous, the emperor thought back about Yeonbin's appearance from a moment ago.

He deliberately visited this place all of a sudden. He was sure that if he were to announce his visit, Yeonbin would prepare and play another act. Therefore, he broke in without announcing himself because he wanted to know what Yeonbin was doing.

From the moment he entered Jeongan Palace, the emperor blocked every mouth he met and he quickly and stealthily came to the garden where Yeonbin was.

And right at that place, Yihan saw Yeon Hwawoon under a magnolia tree.

Hwawoon was wearing a very simple attire—an appearance that Yihan had never seen before. He, whose long hair was naturally hung down and scattered by the spring breeze, was looking at the flower that bloomed beautifully. In addition, he was smiling with a fair face.

The moment he saw that face, Yihan was so surprised, as if lightning struck him. Not to mention his steps, all of his movements, stopped automatically. The reason was that in all these times, Yihan never saw Yeon Hwawoon make such a face.

Yeah, that was very shocking.

Suddenly, he felt like all the senses in his body had turned sensitive. The scent of all kinds of flowers filling the garden filled his lungs and made him feel overwhelmed. In addition, the sunlight that fell over Yeonbin's head under the magnolia tree was so bright, it blinded him. At that time, when Yeon Hwawoon smiled softly, Yihan even felt like he heard his breathing. He wondered if that was the trance that he had only ever heard of.

Finally, when Hwawoon touched the tip of his nose to the magnolia flower—making such a beautiful and elegant expression that was hard to believe, Song Yihan, who never felt any fear, couldn't hide the fear that somehow surged in his heart.

Therefore, Yihan clenched his fists hard and let out a sharp voice. He prayed that the feelings he felt at that moment would disappear with that.

"I never knew that you're really enjoying your life in Jeongan Palace."

"Your Majesty… I came outside because the weather is nice."

Yeonbin, who looked surprised for a moment because of the emperor's sudden visit, quickly composed himself and spoke with a calm voice. Yeon Hwawoon, who always made a fuss whenever he saw His Majesty's shadow near Jeongan Palace, couldn't be found anywhere.

Yihan strangely felt unpleasant about it, so he stared down at Yeonbin's head. Meanwhile, Eunuch Oh slightly came closer to him and gave him a hint.

"Your Majesty, Yeonbin is still kneeling."

"I know."

Eunuch Oh quietly said that because he judged that it was not a good thing for the emperor to keep a concubine kneeling in front of young court ladies. Alas, the emperor remained firm. Knowing there was nothing more he could do, Eunuch Oh only bowed and stepped back.

Then, the emperor asked,

"Are you dissatisfied because I kept you kneeling?"

Yeonbin originally had a weak body, but he was also a crybaby. In the past, he would already whine to the emperor that his knees were hurt. Therefore, the emperor also didn't like his appearance when he was calmly kneeling in front of him.

And Yeonbin answered,

"It is natural for a concubine to greet Your Majesty by kneeling. How dare I to be dissatisfied with it?"

It was a neat and tidy voice without any hint of coquetry.

I know he didn't change. I know that it is impossible. The emperor still found Yeonbin, who deceived and tricked him, to be laughable. He felt that himself, who fell for Yeonbin's scheme for a moment, was pathetic.

The emperor bit his lips once because he felt like Yeonbin's smile from a moment ago kept lingering before his eyes, then he spoke again.

"Then, are you saying that you're fine to stay kneeling like that until I give you my mercy?"

"If you give me such an order, then I would only follow it. However, Your Majesty…"

Yihan's eyebrows wriggled for a moment when he heard Yeonbin was about to carry on with his words. Yeah, that's how you should move. You should let out a few fake tears while asking, 'why do you treat me harshly when I did nothing wrong?' While Yihan predicted that would be Hwawoon's next words, Hwawoon said,

"Because I am a dull-witted person, I couldn't know what I have done earlier to light your anger."

"…"

"If you could please give this lacking person an enlightenment, then I will make sure to never provoke your feelings with the same thing ever again."

It was Hwawoon's sincerity. Back when he met the emperor for the first time after he woke up in Yeon Hwawoon's body or when he met the emperor in Suhwawon, Hwawoon could easily find out why he was angry, and based on that, he could choose what his next move would be.

However, this time was different. He was sure he had somehow agitated the emperor's feelings, but he couldn't guess what had he done wrong. Therefore, Hwawoon dared himself to ask the emperor.

Although there was nothing he could do with the past, Hwawoon didn't want to lose the emperor's trust more than this.

It didn't mean he wanted to return to the past. It also didn't mean he wanted to make the things done by the old Hwawoon never exist so that his relationship with the emperor would be good. Hwawoon merely didn't want himself to do things that would spark the emperor's hate for him.

Hwawoon's question made Yihan silent for a second. He was thinking about the reason he was feeling angry and uncomfortable at this moment.

Actually, the biggest reason that made Yihan uncomfortable was himself who thought Hwawoon's smile under the tree to be beautiful even for a moment. Not the others but Yeon Hwawoon. He was ashamed to have such feelings for Yeonbin-Yeon Hwawoon, who always did unpleasant things anytime, anywhere.

How could I have such a feeling? No matter how beautiful he is, it's not like he has that face for a short time. Before, even when I was shoved with that great face of his, I could hardly remember if I ever thought of his face as beautiful because it was covered with his attitude. What on earth was different with his face today that made me admire it?

That was the thing that made Yihan very dissatisfied and unhappy, but he couldn't say it to Yeonbin like that.

Then, the emperor's lips gradually parted.

"… I don't like you acting as though you have changed."

The voice that was forcefully hiding the shaken feelings was very cold. The emperor's words sparked breathtaking silence, and he continued his words for Yeonbin, who was calmly being slapped with his cold words.

"I'm saying that you're taking advantage of someone's death to hide your bad personality and put on some charade to be ridiculous, and I don't want to see it."

The shoulders of the court ladies that were kneeling following Yeonbin were trembling noticeably. The emperor's voice was low, but the meaning beyond his voice was so cold that the garden of Jeongan Palace, which was filled with the scent of flowers on a spring day, seemed to be blown with a winter breeze at once.

Everyone who was present there and heard the emperor's words thought that this time Yeonbin couldn't hold back anymore. They thought he would cry, whining to the emperor, and said he was being mean. Not only Yeonbin, but everyone wouldn't be able to endure this kind of insult.

Then, Yeonbin's body moved. However, instead of standing up and holding to the emperor, he put down his other knee, politely put both his hands on the ground, arched his back and bowed his head, then said,

"I deserve to get criticized for the mistake I did in the past, and it is no wonder if you're afraid of me because of that. Therefore, how could I have any complaint with that, Your Majesty? By all means, I will accept the fair price for all of those…"

If they knew of his situation, then someone would ask him if he found it to be unfair. "You're not even the one who did it. You have no relation with what the old Yeon Hwawoon did. However, don't you feel frustrated and angry because you have to bear all his reputation and price for what he did?" Someone could ask him those.

Nevertheless, Hwawoon thought that even those were his responsibility. Everything in this world wouldn't be given without any price.

Originally, he should have died in vain without even having any chance to wish for the emperor's attention. Had he not entered Yeon Hwawoon's body, Hawoon would have already lost his life and disappeared while wandering around the netherworld, and he would never have had a face-to-face conversation with the emperor.

Although he didn't wish for it, he took over someone else's life instead, so how could he be picky to receive only the good things? Hwawoon had already decided to bear the price of all the things that Yeon Hwawoon did in the past.

"However…"

As soon as Hwawoon's words continued, appalling silence spread in Jeongan Palace. Everyone who was present there had never seen Yeon Hwawoon, who composedly replied to the Emperor, who already stated that he didn't want to see him.

Not only his voice but also the content he calmly spoke out. Everyone who stepped their feet inside Jeongan Palace at this time would have never imagined Yeon Hwawoon saying he would take responsibility for all his wrongdoings.

Again, the 'however' words that came from Hwawoon made everyone turn even stiffer. While bowing his head, Hwawoon said,

"I want to tell you one thing. It isn't a lie that I want to change. I swear I'm not doing this because I want to avoid my responsibility. I only…"

Hwawoon repeatedly adjusted his voice so that it didn't tremble. That was because if he let himself off the leash even for a moment, he thought he would unseemly beg in spite of himself.

Now, he had no desire to get loved by the emperor. He didn't think that the emperor's perception of himself would change overnight. No matter how different he would live compared to the previous Yeon Hwawoon, perhaps for all his lifetime, the emperor wouldn't stop despising him.

Still, even so—even if that were bound to happen.

"Your Majesty… I want to change."

Even if this couldn't make the feelings the emperor had for Yeon Hwawoon to change even for a bit,

"I don't want to harass others anymore, and I don't want to keep being a rude person to you, Your Majesty."

Even if there was no one who knew that this were Hawoon's sincerity not Yeon Hwawoon—even so.

"I know this is hard for you to believe. It's fine even if you don't believe me. But still I… I want to be a loyal person for you from now on, Your Majesty."

Hwawoon sincerely wanted to live as the emperor's person.

Another kind of silence, which was different from when the emperor spoke coldly, engulfed the surrounding once again. The weight of the atmosphere that could not be explained at once seemed to block everyone's breath.

Yeon Hwawoon.

The only concubine in this imperial palace, who was hated by the emperor.

A man with a terrible personality, who was always violent to his subordinates and audacious to his superiors.

An existence who was not close to anyone, was not respected by anyone, was not loved by anyone.

The very person who seemed to never change no matter what.

Yeon Hwawoon, the one who said he loved the emperor but never changed as the emperor wanted.

Right in this place now, he was prostrating as he talked to the emperor. Saying that he didn't want to behave like that ever again. Saying that he didn't want to live like that ever again. Saying that he didn't want to keep being such a person to the emperor.

No one could open their mouths. They couldn't move, nor could they let out their breathing sound. As the emperor was silent and just looking down at Hwawoon's prostrating figure, no one dared to behave rashly. After a moment of silence that felt eternal, the emperor slowly parted his lips.

"I don't believe you."

It was a cold yet apathetic voice. It even made those, who understood the emperor's coldness because they knew what Yeonbin had been doing so far, gulped down their breaths.

"Do you think you can just erase everything you've done in the past with a few smooth words? If you make an excuse that you don't remember, then everything becomes something that never happens?"

"…"

"All dogs in this capital will laugh when they hear Yeon Hwawoon wants to change."

The wind blew. The spring breeze that blew weakly made the purple magnolia flower, which Hwawoon was smelling a little while ago, fall off in front of Hwawoon's hand, and the emperor, who was looking at the tips of his pale hands and petals, looked up and said while looking at everyone.

"From this moment on, Yeonbin is allowed to freely enter and exit Jeongan Palace."

Surprised by the unexpected words from the emperor, Hwawoon finally raised his head a bit and stared up at the emperor. Meanwhile, the emperor who met his gaze spoke to Hwawoon with a voice filled with a ridiculing tone.

"Do your best. I won't get fooled."

After saying that, the emperor turned firmly as if he didn't need to hear more.

Soon after, Hwawoon's voice said, "Your grace is immeasurable, Your Majesty." was heard from behind his back. Even so, the emperor never looked back until he climbed into the palanquin because he didn't like the way Hwawoon was grateful for his mercy when he clearly had given him sarcastic words.

"Is that true?"

The empress put down the teacup on the table as she asked the eunuch of Empress Palace who came to deliver the news. The eunuch then bowed a bit deeper before answering.

"Yes, Your Majesty. I heard the emperor never told Yeonbin to rise up until he left Jeongan Palace."

The empress, Jaran contemplated for a moment.

There was no one in this imperial palace who didn't know that the emperor had no affection for Yeonbin, so it was not a surprise if that person spoke harshly to Yeonbin. However, what made the empress surprised was Yeonbin's words and attitude in front of the emperor today.

The empress was the mother of this nation's people, and as the master of the internal palace, she had a responsibility to take care of the concubines serving the emperor. For such an empress, Yeonbin had been a pain in the neck with no solution.

It was rather a personal concern that Yeonbin believed in his father's position and even being irreverent to the empress. The bigger problem was that whenever Yeonbin caused a problem in the internal palace, it immediately became a problem directly related to the empress' ability to properly lead the internal palace and control it.

No matter how hard the empress tried to rule over Yeonbin with virtue and persuade him whenever she had time, it was useless. Wouldn't the one who didn't even listen to the emperor snort at the empress?

He always seemed to half-heartedly listen to the empress, and when she left, he repeated the same behavior again, and later, he even avoided the empress' palace under the pretext of being sick whenever the empress called him. He was a concubine in name only and was actually a daredevil.

"He said, 'I want to change,' huh."

The empress quietly recited the words that Yeonbin said in front of the emperor today. He said he wants to be a loyal person to His Majesty from now on, isn't it?

A loyal person, huh—A loyal person.

The empress thought those words said by Yeonbin to be very strange. It was because she never expected Yeonbin would say it.

It wasn't even a word saying he would stay low. Likewise, it also wasn't a word saying he would become a wise concubine that the emperor would like. While leaving many words that he could say as a concubine, Yeonbin said he would become a loyal person.

"Isn't it something like a general would say?"

The empress muttered while taking back the cup she put down earlier. She had the same opinion as the emperor. In a way, the empress was also someone who had looked more into Yeonbin's inside. Even if he really came near the brink of death, the empress couldn't believe that such a person would change overnight.

If so, then it means Yeonbin has made a great decision to act with all his might. She felt uneasy somewhere in her heart because she had no idea what kind of decision and plan he made in order to win the emperor's heart.

"After all, it wouldn't last long, Your Majesty. Please don't let it bother you."

A court lady of the empress's palace suddenly spoke out because the empress's expression did not get relaxed. Then, the empress slowly took a sip and nodded.

"Yeah. It won't last long, so there's no need to think deeply about it, right?"

I know that well. It was a fact that the empress already knew as well. However, why did she feel like there was a stone stuck in her heart and made it difficult for her to just let it pass?

Perhaps the empress's position made her naturally put too much mind even on the smallest thing. The empress thought so and quickly erased things related to Jeongan Palace from her head.

Even after the emperor had left, no one in Jeongan Palace could move rashly. The cold wind left by the emperor still felt like it was sweeping Jeongan Palace.

Even until the emperor's palanquin went out of Jeongan Palace, their master, Yeonbin, was still prostrate on the ground. In the eyes of the court ladies who were looking around without knowing what to do, they saw a small back of the one, who had been derided and insulted by the emperor in front of everyone.

The court ladies, who always felt their owner was like a yaksha, wondered if their owner had such a small and thin body—everything about him was unusual for them.

"Your Highness… Please get up now…"

The first one to break the heavy atmosphere and move their body was Ahjin, who was kneeling right next to Yeonbin. She supported Yeonbin while looking like she was on the verge of tears. In the other court ladies' eyes, she looked like she was truly hurt by the insult her master got. Even this was unusual for them.

"Your Highness, are you okay? Lean on me, please."

All the court ladies of Jeongan Palace knew well about how much Ahjin was harassed by Yeonbin all this time. Even if there were a lot of court ladies of Jeongan Palace that couldn't let their body and heart be at ease there, no one had gone through cruel hardship from Yeonbin as much as Ahjin had. If they were asked who was the one that was afraid of Yeonbin the most, then they would choose Ahjin without hesitation.

"Your body is very cold, Your Highness. I shall call for the physician right now."

"… No need. I just need a little rest."

"How can you say that? You're not even getting better already… Are you breathing fine, Your Highness?"

However, that very Ahjin — the one who confessed that she always prayed for dokkaebi to appear and take her master away at any chance — as if she was at a loss for what to do because she felt sorry for her master, was now looked like she was about to cry while supporting Yeonbin with her whole body.

That scene was so unfamiliar and dumbfounding, which made the court ladies of Jeongan Palace forget to stand up. They looked up at them while still kneeling on the ground, and Yeonbin, who was shaking his head to Ahjin soon looked at them. The surprised court ladies gasped and bowed their heads again.

On the day Yeonbin was treated harshly by the emperor, the tears of his subordinates wouldn't get away because he tortured them, but today, he was insulted in front of themselves, who were lowly people, so there was no way he would to let it go. At times like this, just staying still like a dead being was the only measure they could do.

Then, the owner of Jeongan Palace said,

"I've made you guys go through hard times."

The shoulders of them, who were prostrating, flinched noticeably. They couldn't understand what they just heard.

Although their master had gathered all of them and promised to never torture them again in the future, no one believed those words straight away. They thought it was only Yeonbin's eccentric behavior and whim as usual. However, as if he was feeling sorry, Yeonbin talked like that to them, who he always saw as bugs.

Everyone's faces turned white after hearing that, but Yeonbin, whose view was already blurry and couldn't see them properly, barely leaned on Ahjin and continued to talk.

"Everyone can go back now… and Ahjin, take care of them, so they can rest early today."

"Yes, Your Highness. I will take care of everything, so please go inside now. I will inform the physician right away and prepare medicine to calm your feelings."

Those who heard that were all shocked and didn't know what to do, but Ahjin was only busy taking care of Yeonbin as if she couldn't even care about others. That appearance of her was no doubt an appearance of a right-hand man sincerely serving her master.

After Yeonbin left, those who were left in the garden were looking at each other with a shocked faces. He said he wanted to change. He said he didn't want to live like in the past. It was a day when their master's desperate voice, saying that to the emperor, lingered in their ears for a long time.

Yihan stayed in Anjeong Palace until late at night. He sent back all the nameplates of concubines and said he wouldn't even visit the empress, so he had his dinner in Anjeong Palace.

He kept looking at the appeals and letters as if he were immersed in doing political affairs, but Eunuch Oh, who had served him for a long time, could see that the emperor was hardly focused on what he had in his hands, unlike usual.

"… I heard the physician visited Jeongan Palace."

Eunuch Oh's voice rang low inside the still Anjeong Palace. The emperor didn't shift his focus from the letter he was looking nor said anything, and Eunuch Oh continued,

"He said Yeonbin's health was already very damaged after he fell into the water. However, his mind and body kept being unstable, and on top of that, he was very surprised today, which made his health even worse. Therefore, he had to be extra careful and take care of himself for the time being."

"Who is curious about that?"

"… Forgive me, Your Majesty. I've talked too much."

Despite Yihan's scolding, Eunuch Oh didn't panic and only bowed his back. Yihan dropped the letter he was holding with a very dissatisfied face on the table, then glared at Eunuch Oh, who was avoiding his gaze—playing innocence.

Who is curious about that? Did someone say they want to know about that, which made him speak of that useless news? Why is that bastard bothering me by saying those words that I don't want to hear?

The emperor's eyes clearly showed his dissatisfaction, but the eunuch was still bowing and pretending innocence. Then, after glaring at Eunuch Oh for a few moments, Yihan said,

"After all, he's only pretending to be sick, no?"

"How dare I tell such a lie to you, Your Majesty? Although there were times when Yeonbin did that in the past, it is said that he's in a terrible condition today."

Yihan's eyes turned sharp after hearing that.

Even the emperor knew Yeonbin had a weak body. Just by looking at how he had a thinner body than women, he could know that he had a weak constitution.

However, Yeonbin was someone who always exaggerated his sickness a thousand times in front of the emperor. In addition, he usually made trouble more actively than healthy people, which later made the emperor forget he had a weak body.

Suddenly, he was reminded of Yeon Hwawoon standing under a magnolia tree—looking fragile as if the blowing wind would break him. Rather than making him look unattractive, his pale skin was more close to transparent. His thin body, which thanks to the exposed neckline and thin clothes could be seen more clearly, looked like it couldn't even fill Yihan's arms.

"He deserves it anyway."

The emperor spoke with a blunt voice. Yeon Hwawoon's sudden appearance was unfamiliar and irritating for him. Yeonbin was the one who did wrong, so why did he show his protest by prostrating and now get sick.

Eunuch Oh replied, "Yes, you're right, Your Majesty." However, Yihan somehow felt that he wasn't being sincere, so he glared back at the eunuch and raised his voice.

"What? Are you saying that I was being mean to Yeonbin, huh?"

"I'm not, Your Majesty. How could this person dare to have such a thought? What you do is the law and the right thing, Your Majesty."

Still, it was a very strange thing. Eunuch Oh was clearly saying the right thing. He didn't show any sign of being sarcastic or blaming the emperor, but it was such a wonder why the emperor's heart was so uncomfortable like in a bed of thorns after hearing the eunuch's answer.

With his effort to shake his mind turned in vain, once again he recalled the smiling face of Yeon Hwawoon under the flower. At the same time, Yihan felt a light shiver crept on his spine. It was because Yeonbin's face that he recalled back was terrifically unfamiliar for him.

It wasn't just simply about whether he had ever seen Yeonbin's smile or not. Yihan guaranteed that it could never be a face Yeon Hwawoon had in the past. It couldn't simply be explained as a smile that was hidden because of his vicious nature.

It was a face that had never existed. It was like something that Yeon Hwawoon never had even once before. Although he couldn't explain it with words, Yihan was certain about it.

Then, what about that face? What about that smile? Where did today's Yeon Hwawoon come from? What kind of trace should that Hwawoon left in Yihan's heart?

"… Shall we go to the empress palace, Your Majesty?"

The eunuch asked because the emperor was looking gloomy while being quiet, and the emperor gave no answer.

"Do you want to go to Unhwa Palace?"

The eunuch asked again. Alas, the emperor was still silent.

"…Then, how about Jeong-"

"Forget it. Today, I will stay at Anjeong Palace."

However, even before the eunuch could finish his last question, Yihan hurriedly opened his mouth like someone who was running away from something. Meanwhile, Eunuch Oh only bowed his back.

The emperor was lost in thought—step by step—he took a very slow step to the bedroom.

How much can death affect people? Is it really possible to become a very different person after experiencing death?

Sung Yihan.

He was the high and noble son of Heaven in this big nation. He also rose to the emperor's position amidst many dangers. However, because he had never returned from the brink of death, he stayed all night alone without being able to find the answer.

Save me…

He was out of breath. When he opened his mouth to breathe, cold water rushed in his throat, making the pain get even worse. The man struggled.

I can't breathe… It's painful…

Even if he struggled, there was nothing he could reach. His body kept sinking down, and the tremendous cold penetrated every corner of his body. It was painful and tormenting. He was so afraid of the breath that he couldn't take properly, and the coldness that made his bones cold.

No… No, I…

But it wasn't the suffocating breath that made him suffer more. It wasn't the cold that made him more terrified.

I… want to be loved…

Suddenly, he felt like his heart was breaking. Sorrow and solitude, anguish, jealousy, wrath and resentment. All of that surrounded his whole body like a tsunami and storm, and began to eat him up.

I want to get loved… I don't care for the price. I only want that…

His tears burst out. He couldn't even breathe properly, but his cry crawled over from his clogged lungs. All those emotions quickly eroded his senses. Soon, only one person's face came to mind beyond the view that was getting obscure, but no matter how much he reached out, there was no way to reach him out because that person kept getting farther away,

And what was left for him was darkness, darkness, and only darkness.

"Your Highness! Your Highness!"

"Gasps!"

Hwawoon raised his body gasping like a person who was rescued from drowning. When Hwawoon reached out his arm into the air and struggled as if trying to catch something, Ahjin quickly grabbed his hands and hugged him into her arms.

"Your Highness, I'm Ahjin. Your Highness, please wake up!"

"Ahjin…?"

"Yes, Your Highness! I am Ahjin. It seems like you have a nightmare."

As his movement subsided a little, Ahjin lightly patted Hwawoon's back—trying to calm down her master. Hwawoon, who went to bed early after taking medicine because he was not feeling well after what happened in the day, continued to moan and suffer in his sleep, making Ahjin worry.

Then, when night came, his breathing finally calmed down, and Ahjin was relieved because she thought he finally slept tight. Alas, less than two hours later, he had a nightmare and woke up like this.

"I… nightmare…"

"Yes. It's only a dream, Your Highness. It's fine now."

Hwawoon was still not fully awake, muttering what Ahjin had said while panting. He couldn't breathe easily as if he was still in a dream, and his body trembled. It was hard for him to get out of the dream because it felt so vivid.

Only after drinking a cup of warm tea that Ahjin brought by ordering another court lady did Hwawoon finally come to his senses. Hwawoon, who was leaning on Ahjin because he couldn't even control his body properly until then, recalled the dispersed memory for a moment while his sense of reality gradually became clearer after drinking tea.

Once again, he heard harsh words from the emperor he encountered unexpectedly. Even when he said he wanted to change and become a loyal person for him, the emperor disregarded his resolution with cold words and turned his back. After that, the chill that tormented Hwawoon all night must have flowed from the emperor.

Nevertheless, Hwawoon didn't blame the emperor. He even thought that he had no right to do so. Not only because he thought the emperor's reaction was natural considering what Yeon Hwawoon had done so far, Hwawoon honestly thought that—Hawoon—himself did not deserve sincerity either.

It was not merely because Hawoon was from lowly status. The problem was not because he was actually a commoner that had no right to see the emperor. The real reason for Hwawoon to have no face in front of the emperor was the fact that he currently existed in front of him through lies.

If the emperor insulted Hwawoon for pretending, how could Hwawoon say that was mean of him? His existence alone was a sham for the emperor. Hwawoon actually wasn't Yeon Hwawoon, but Hawoon. Thus, Hwawoon, being existed, ate, breathed, and moved, was no different from a great sinner who had been irreverent to the emperor.

Therefore, Hwawoon was willing to gladly accept it no matter how harsh the emperor was on himself.

"I'm fine now, so don't stare at me like that."

After thinking that far, Hwawoon spoke softly to Ahjin, who was still examining his complexion with a worried expression. Ahjin was wiping away the cold sweat on his face with a handkerchief. Because of how careful that touch of hers was, the sadness that kept filling up despite his effort to suppress it seemed to fade away one by one with Ahjin's touch.

"Ahjin…"

Hwawoon called Ahjin, who was adjusting his bedding after carefully laying him back.

"Yes, Your Highness. Is there anything you need?"

As Ahjin asked naturally, Hwawoon unconsciously smiled because he saw there was no sign of fear that she felt at their first meeting on her face.

At least, it's a good thing for this person that I became Yeon Hwawoon.

Thinking like that, Hwawoon could slightly erase the guilt he felt at every moment of living another person's life.

"No. I just… thank you."

"… Why are you saying that? This is my duty, anyway…"

"Still. Thank you—a lot. I'm fine now, so you too can have a good sleep now."

"Yes, Your Highness."

Hwawoon knew that even if Ahjin answered like that, she would probably sleep, awkwardly curling up, before his bedroom. Looking at Ahjin quietly stepping back with her back bent, Hwawoon made up his mind.

Let's do what I can. There is nothing I can do about the irreparable relationship, but I have to stay focused for the sake of people who can be more comfortable and happy if I do well.

That was the only thing Hwawoon could do for now.

In the silence that came after Ahjin left, Hwawoon blinked as he looked at the ceiling that was still high as ever. He remembered back himself prostrating before the emperor today, despite his effort to erase it. Now that he thought about it, he wondered if he had brazenly done nonsense.

At the same time, the feelings he felt at the moment he said that he wanted to be a loyal person to the emperor, came to mind clearly. A strong desire not to be hated by him, even though he knew that was impossible. Even though he clearly knew that it was something he shouldn't wish for.

Hwawoon unknowingly expressed such greed the moment he stood in front of the emperor that he could only yearn for all this time.

But, who could know that even that wasn't the whole truth? In fact, what Hwawoon really wanted, the thing that he hid so deep and deep inside so that he couldn't think of it easily, that was,

I want to be loved…

Hwawoon recalled the feeling that was swallowing him entirely in his dream. The feeling that only yearned and desired for that very person's love no matter what happened.

Whose feeling was that?

Hwawoon closed his eyes. He didn't dare to guess that.

"You look like you didn't have a good sleep…"

Eunuch Oh, who was helping the emperor dress as there was no concubine that served the emperor last night, commented with a worried face. The emperor, who closed his eyes while being served with a face clearly filled with fatigue, opened his eyes with a sharp look at the eunuch's words and spoke bluntly.

"Was there any reason for me to not sleep well? I slept very comfortably."

"…"

"There's nothing to make me uncomfortable about."

The eunuch actually had nothing more to say, but the emperor seemed like he wasn't aware that he said something like that because he was uncomfortable in his heart. Eunuch Oh smiled for a while with his head down and finished up dressing the emperor.

"So…"

When the eunuch didn't add anything else, Yihan, who had been closing his mouth tight for a while, soon faked coughs a couple of times and quietly opened his mouth again. However, the emperor only repeated 'so… I mean, so…" as if he was trying to say something but was unable to bring it up.

In the meantime, Eunuch Oh, who already took care of the emperor's clothing, stepped back and bowed, then continued to speak instead.

"There was no special news from Jeongan Palace, but Yeonbin suffered from nightmares all night long."

The emperor's movement stopped at that moment. The eunuch didn't dare to look up at his face, but instead, his gaze caught the emperor's fists repeatedly clenched and relaxed several times. Soon afterward, the emperor's voice rang above his head.

"You got into the habit of talking about things that I never ask."

"Forgive me, Your Majesty."

"I'm not curious about Jeongan Palace even for an ounce."

"That's right. This person was the one who said it as one pleased."

Just like a habit, Yihan glared at Eunuch Oh's head. Strangely, Eunuch Oh's voice sounded more hateful recently. Then, he moved his body.

He remembered a day when Yeonbin whined about crying and waking up after suffering from nightmares all night if the emperor didn't come to him. That too was not a special excuse for Yihan.

Was it only nightmares? I have a fever; I can't breathe properly; I can't sleep because my body is cold all night; there had been too many things Yeonbin used to inflict Yihan's worry. There were many things to do for him instead of worrying about all those fake illnesses.

Therefore, Yihan decided to ignore that news as always. He decided not to care.

The emperor didn't want to rethink the fact that Yeonbin knelt down on a hard floor, his thin shoulders curled up in front of himself as he spoke like he was being sincere, or that he insulted and was harsh to Yeonbin in front of the courtiers.

As he said, the emperor had nothing to worry about yesterday's event, and whether Yeonbin suffered from nightmares or was sick, he was not curious at all, and was not worried, so it had nothing to do with himself at all.

"Your Highness, are you really going to give a morning greeting?"

Ahjin asked with a worried expression while putting a modest binyeo on Hwawoon's head. Her master, who was sitting in front of the mirror with a pale face, didn't look strange even if he collapsed right away. There was no way he was in a good condition when he had such big trouble yesterday and didn't sleep well all night.

While serving Yeonbin, Ahjin had always been worried about her safety alone, but strangely, she had become more worried about her master's condition than hers these days.

Without even knowing of Ahjin's heart, Hwawoon spoke with a soft voice.

"I tell you I'm really fine. I can do the morning greeting."

"But Your Highness… If you go to do the morning greeting, you won't only meet the empress, but also the other concubines…"

That was what Ahjin was worried about. Greeting the empress was a little tiring, but it wasn't that difficult. What was really difficult was encountering the other concubines there. Hwawoon usually wasn't on good terms with other concubines, so she was worried if they would argue and if something would happen.

Hwawoon fascinatingly looked at his lips, which turned redder than he originally had, and soon spoke with a small smile.

"I know what you are worrying about. But since I can't avoid this forever, it will be better to face it earlier."

Hwawoon's words were convincing, but Ahjin still couldn't erase her dissatisfied look. As Hwawoon said, it was something he should go through someday, but Ahjin hoped Hwawoon would go through that only after his body improved even a little.

"Your Highness…"

Suddenly, someone carefully entered the room and called Hwawoon. When they turned their heads, a young court lady of Jeongan Palace was hesitating as she entered the room before kneeling down.

"What is it?"

As Ahjin asked first with a dubious look, the young court lady shrank her body more and answered.

"Erm… I… judging from yesterday, we think Your Highness likes the flower in the garden…"

Hwawoon responded to her with a small ah sound. As he thought about it, she was the court lady in charge of the garden, who diligently answered Hwawoon's question about flowers and trees there.

As Ahjin asked 'so?" urging the court lady, who pitifully talked with a trembling voice and couldn't continue her words, the young court lady put down the vase filled with flowers from her arms, then bowed and said,

"So, so we think it would be better if there are more flowers in Your Highness' room, so we… try… try to make this…"

Hwawoon's gaze landed on the vase the court lady presented. Hwawoon didn't know their names, but each flower bud stuck inside seemed to ripe healthily and would soon bloom brightly.

Flowers of various colors were mixed appropriately, and stems and leaves were also carefully trimmed. Even those who knew nothing about flowers could see that it was made diligently at first glance.

This time, Hwawoon was the one to ask.

"… Did you prepare it for me?"

"Yes, Your Highness. If, if you don't like it, I'll quickly throw-"

"No. It's not like that. I like it. I really like it."

The court lady, who was trembling just in case she tactlessly disturbed her master's feelings, was surprised and flustered by the small question of Hwawoon. However, she, who acted as if she would take the vase with her right away, stopped at Hwawoon's next words.

In the meantime, Hwawoon came up to reach out and raise the young court lady, and Ahjin, who took the vase, brought the flowers close to Hwawoon.

"It's beautiful… it's not even bloomed yet, but it smells nice. Thank you so much. Did the girls in charge of managing the garden prepare this together?"

"Pardon? Ah, yes… Yes! We prepare… we prepared it together, Your Highness…"

At that time, the young court lady was completely out of her mind. While she doubted if her ears really heard her owner say thank you to herself, he held her arms and raised her up in person, leading her to hardly believe it.

She felt like her arms, which were lightly touched by Yeonbin, were burning. Except when she was slapped by her master, the young court lady had never been touched by Yeonbin.

In response to the court lady's answer, Hwawoon smiled again, putting his nose on the tip of the bud, closing his eyes, and savoring the scent. Even with a pale complexion, his face was as beautiful as it was drawn, which led the court lady to stare blankly at her master's face.

When he opened his eyes, Hwawoon looked at Ahjin and said,

"Ahjin, put this by the window where I can see the best, and… I want to reward the kids, is that fine?"

"Of course, Your Highness. You're the master, after all. I'll take care of it."

She had been troubled, worrying about how painful her master's feelings were because of what happened yesterday. However, as her master's face brightened up thanks to the unexpected gift, Ahjin, who felt happy too, raised up her voice.

Actually, despite the fact that Jeongan Palace had such a beautiful garden, it was difficult to find a vase in the living room or bedroom where Yeonbin stayed frequently.

Yeonbin didn't like the flower itself very much, and whenever things went wrong, he would be busy throwing away all the vases he could get his hands on. Thus, the court ladies of Jeongan Palace, who had been troubled several times, rarely put the flowers sent by the Department of Internal Affairs near Yeonbin anymore.

However, the fact that such people put flowers in a vase and offered it to their master on their own accord meant that there had been a slight change in the minds of those who had been suspecting Yeonbin. Ahjin was excited about it above anything else. At this moment, she even seemed to not remember that she herself had been doubting Yeonbin's heart until recently.

Hwawoon asked the young court lady, who still looked flustered.

"What is your name?"

"Yes, Your Highness… My, my name is Seoseo."

"Seoseo… thanks to all of you, I feel more refreshed. Thank you very much."

"Your happiness is ours, Your Highness. Then I'll get going now."

Even after making the flower arrangement, the court ladies couldn't decide on who would bring it in, so they scuffled for a long time. Seoseo, the court lady who had been eventually pushed to bring it in, unconsciously smiled when she saw her master smile at her and returned with light steps unlike when she entered.

She had a lot to say to those who were waiting for her to come out.

"Your Highness."

Ahjin called for Hwawoon, who was looking at the back of the young court lady with a smile. As Hwawoon turned away and erased his smile because her voice seemed to be somewhat low, Ahjin, who was holding the vase tightly, said to Hwawoon,

"No one believed Your Highness would change at first."

"…"

"Neither did I. The more you treat me kindly, the more scared I was because I was afraid I would believe you and let my guard down and ended up getting tricked."

There was a saying that even though you know the depth of the waters, you couldn't know the depth of a human's heart. Moreover, her master was someone who behaved capriciously twelve times in a day, so how could Ahjin be sure about her master's mind at that time?

"However, you eventually changed our minds."

But Ahjin thought, If my master's heart is sincere at all, if he truly wants to reflect on all the mistakes of the past and correct everything he has done wrong now,

"And now you've changed those kids who were trembling just by listening to your voice."

Ahjin thought she had to help her master so that he wouldn't give up because of the lonely feeling that no one believed in him. It was a path for her master who was only despised in this imperial palace, but at the same time, it was also for herself.

Ahjin laughed as she looked at Hwawoon's eyes, which were shaking. She wondered if he was touched by the words said by her, who was no more than a mere maid.

"So, Your Highness, even His Majesty's heart… someday you'll be able to return it too. I believe so."

Ahjin decided to willingly stand by her master's side sincerely for his sake and herself.

"Did you also hear about yesterday's event, Your Majesty?"

Sukbi was the first to bring up the topic in the place where every concubine gathered to give morning greetings to the empress. At the same time, the eyes of those who gathered in the empress palace were sparkling with amusement. What happened at Jeongan Palace yesterday made the whole imperial palace noisy.

"I did hear it."

"Doesn't this mean Yeonbin is even doing ridiculous acting now?"

"He is perhaps doing his last desperate act since His Majesty doesn't look at him even after he jumped to the water."

When the empress said that she also knew about the news, Sukbi, who was sitting in front of her, and the other concubines talked about Yeonbin. While the empress didn't talk more, Sukbi opened her mouth again.

"When His Majesty came to Unhwa Palace last time, he even gnashed his teeth when he talked about Yeonbin… It seems like since there is no chance for him to change His Majesty's heart, that almighty Yeonbin has no choice but to pretend to be obedient."

"That's what I'm saying. Still, how long would he go on…"

It was Jeongbin, Jeong Songhyeon who once again responded to Sukbi.

They couldn't guess perfectly what Yeonbin was planning by doing such a move. There was no doubt that it was his trick to lure the emperor, but everyone was convinced that his behavior this time wouldn't last long, no matter what kind of plan he had.

Meanwhile, the empress looked at those, who were having the same thought and talking together.

Since there were a lot of people who served the same husband, the concubines being jealous and envious of each other was something that existed along with history. However, the current imperial family had fewer concubines compared to before, and no one had a bad personality except for Yeonbin. In addition, thanks to the emperor taking good care of the concubines evenly, there had never been a big problem.

On top of that, as Yeonbin irked and had a quarrel with other concubines every day, the concubines that naturally had the same enemy had no choice but to get closer with each other than their predecessors.

Then, the empress said,

"How can we completely guess someone's heart? It is a good thing if Yeonbin starts to protect his dignity as a concubine and sincerely serves his Majesty, so help Yeonbin and don't uselessly make things difficult."

"Your Majesty, when did we ever step up and caused the scene first? Everything was inevitable because Yeonbin picked a fight first."

Sukbi whined with a coy look. She glanced at Jeongbin sitting in front of her, drawing her consent, and Jeongbin quickly said, "That's right, Your Majesty." The empress then continued to speak.

"How can I not know that? However, since Yeonbin has said that he wants to change, as the members of the same internal palace, you all should lead Yeonbin well."

When the empress asserted once again, the concubines, who could no longer refute, stood up from their seats and kneeled to the empress, saying, "I will keep that in mind, Your Majesty."

While they were saying that, suddenly,

"Your Majesty, Yeonbin has arrived."

Along with a somewhat flustered voice of the eunuch, Yeonbin, Yeon Hwawoon, the protagonist of the rumor that was making the imperial palace noisy, appeared.

"Yeonbin, are you feeling better now?"

The first one to break the silence and open their mouth was the empress. There was still a subtle awkwardness between the concubines sitting on both her sides and with no doubt, the source was Yeonbin.

Originally, Yeonbin was famous for his liking to dress up, so he dressed up in a splendid manner not to fall behind any other women in this imperial palace, including the empress, who did not like to be extravagant.

However, what about Yeonbin's look in front of their eyes now? Not to mention the light blue clothes, Yeonbin's appearance with minimal decoration on his hair was so pleasantly simple yet elegant, which they had never imagined before.

Jeongbin, who was sitting right next to him, glanced at Yeonbin. It was not that she didn't know he had great beauty even though he was a man, but today's Yeonbin had an elegant atmosphere enough to make even those, who used to feel displeased with him, look back on him.

It was not simply a matter of his attire, but Yeonbin, who sat in a straight position with his eyes down neatly, had an unfamiliar atmosphere as if he were a completely different person from what they knew before, so Jeongbin couldn't control her gaze on him.

What had changed was not limited to his appearance. What about the behavior Yeonbin just did in front of them?

As soon as he entered the room, he politely greeted the empress and asked for forgiveness for only being able to give his morning greeting now. He was so polite without any superfluousness that even the empress forgot to accept his greeting for a while and just stared at him blankly.

He didn't only do that to the empress. Yeonbin kneeled and greeted Sukbi and Jeongbin, who he used to growl at whenever they bumped into each other, so it was natural that everyone was speechless and shocked right now.

Regardless if he knew about the awkward atmosphere surrounding himself or not, Yeonbin slowly opened his mouth to answer the empress' question.

"Thanks to your consideration, I'm almost completely better now, Your Majesty. Thank you for worrying about me."

"…I tried to visit you right away after hearing about the accident, but since I thought it would be better for you to rest comfortably, I didn't bother to go. If you are perhaps upset with that, forgive me."

"I'm upset? That is impossible, Your Majesty. That accident was my fault, anyway. There's no need for you to be weighed down, Empress."

Whenever Yeonbin said a word, the empress flusteredly held her breath, so there was no need to mention other concubines. Ahjin, standing behind Yeonbin, was busy looking around and pinched her thigh so that the corners of her mouth would not seem to go up without her knowing.

"I see… I'm glad you think so. Seeing that you still look pale, you don't seem to have fully recovered. Take good care of your body so His Majesty doesn't worry more about you."

"Oh my, Your Majesty. What is there for His Majesty to worry about?"

Following the empress, it was Sukbi who opened her mouth. Sukbi was also surprised by Yeonbin's unexpected appearance, but she couldn't miss this good opportunity to laugh at him to her heart's content.

The empress, who noticed what Sukbi's intention was, quickly tried to stop her by calling her name, but Sukbi, who was a bit faster, parted her lips with a very happy face

"If His Majesty truly worried about Yeonbin's condition, then there was no way he would make him kneel on the ground and insult him yesterday."

Soon, pft, ridiculing laugh flew out. He desperately said he would change and that he wanted to be reborn as the emperor's person, but all he received back from the emperor was severe distrust, so it was such great humiliation.

"Isn't that true, Yeonbin?"

Sukbi asked Yeonbin without even hiding her ridiculing intention, and the empress sighed. She felt like there would be a big fuss happening at the empress' palace today. Yeonbin was usually impatient to fight against Sukbi, and since he was looked down on like this, there was no way that the almighty Yeonbin would hold back.

Soon, Yeonbin, who was receiving strange expectations from everyone, slowly opened his mouth while looking at Sukbi.

"His Majesty only gave me a lesson because I wasn't good enough. He didn't insult me. From now on, I will be more careful not to make a fuss by straightening my attitude and determination."

However, Yeonbin betrayed everyone's expectations and even bowed slightly toward Sukbi. It was natural that Sukbi's mouth opened wide.

Actually, Sukbi didn't think of Yeonbin as a nuisance from the beginning. It was true that she had a fiery personality compared to the empress or Jeongbin, but she was never such a thoughtless woman who would be jealous and envy others just because she was a concubine.

However, Yeonbin believed in his father's name and even acted audaciously to the empress. He acted viciously every day and treated people lower than him like rats. Thus, Sukbi couldn't hold back her personality and often had a quarrel with him. Now, they even ridiculed each other whenever their eyes met and were dying to fight each other.

"You…You…"

Sounds that couldn't form a proper sentence came out of Sukbi's mouth. Even the word 'shocked' seemed to be impossible to properly express how Sukbi felt right now.

Yeonbin, that almighty Yeon Hwawoon responded with a gentle bow even though Sukbi was openly mocking him? He even added that he would be careful?

Sukbi felt like she wanted to raise her hand right away and slap her cheek. This couldn't have happened unless this was a dream.

"What on earth are you up to?"

As soon as Sukbi asked Yeonbin in a sharp voice with vigilance, the loud voice of the eunuch rang behind their backs.

"Here comes His Majesty the Emperor~!"

The emperor deliberately walked without looking at Yeonbin, sat next to the empress, and quietly looked at those who greeted him. Only then did the emperor's gaze pass by Yeonbin for a moment, but Yihan hurriedly turned the gaze that stayed on him for a while.

After greeting him, the empress sat next to the emperor with a welcoming face and asked.

"Your Majesty, what brought you here?"

"After the morning assembly, I thought everyone would be gathering in the empress' palace at this time, so I stopped by to see you. Are you feeling uncomfortable because I suddenly came?"

Yihan smiled gently and made a joke while looking at the empress, and the empress smiled softly.

"No way, Your Majesty. Don't you see that flowers bloomed on our faces?"

This time, the empress returned his joke and the other concubines covered their mouths with their sleeves and laughed lightly. For a very short moment, the emperor's gaze landed on Yeonbin. Yeonbin just bowed his head a little lower than others with a subtle smile.

"Her Majesty is right. I can't believe we're seeing your face this morning, Your Majesty. I guess we spent all our luck for today here."

Sukbi naturally replied. Yeonbin was the only one who couldn't look at the emperor in that harmonious atmosphere. Yihan hurriedly turned his eyes again as if he had never looked at him in the first place, and soon talked with a slightly heavier voice.

"I came to see the empress, and I have something to entreat in particular."

"Go ahead, Your Majesty."

Yihan looked around the concubines and raised his voice.

"As the farm hardship period is approaching, I believe everyone knows that the people are trembling with anxiety every year by this time."

The emperor's words made everyone's faces dark, including the empress. The grains harvested before began to bottom out, but the farm hardship period, which happened while the time until the new grains ripe was still far away, was a difficult time for the people when they starved every year. Therefore, Yihan had been trying to properly aid the people in this period ever since he became emperor.

Then, Yihan continued,

"Outside, the relief post will be set up at an appropriate time to distribute the grain that the imperial family has stocked beforehand for this time, so Empress and others here have to reduce spending and be cautious for the time being to sympathize with the people."

"Yes, Your Majesty. We accept your order."

When the emperor had finished his words, the empress and the concubines stood up to kneel down and spoke in one voice. However, for some reason, the emperor, who normally would have told them to wake up immediately, didn't say anything afterward. The empress in front of him slightly raised her head out of wonder and looked at the emperor.

The emperor was looking somewhere behind the empress. His eyes were showing hardship and confusion, but in a glimpse, they seemed to show contempt. It also seemed to be affectionate and curious, so it was an emotion that could not be explained in one word.

She didn't dare to turn her head from the emperor and check her back, but the empress instinctively guessed who the emperor was looking at. At that moment, the empress felt a strange yet unknown feeling from the depths of her heart, but just as the emotion in the emperor's eyes, the empress did not know what to name it either.

"… Raise up."

Soon, the emperor spoke in a very subdued voice. At some point, the emperor couldn't help his gaze from fixed on Yeonbin, overshadowing everything he tried to take his gaze away from Yeonbin back when he entered.

As if the news that he suffered from nightmares last night wasn't a lie, Yeonbin's face seemed to have lost more weight in a day and looked pitiful at first glance. Yihan slowly got up from his seat, but he couldn't easily get his eyes off Yeonbin.

Am I harsh? Am I being mean to him?

When that thought invaded him without his knowing, Yihan quickly settled his mind—repeatedly thinking that it was impossible. Considering what Yeon Hwawoon had been doing, no one could say that Yihan was harsh to him.

Then, how come he couldn't take his eyes off that person? How come he didn't know what to do, as if he was upset or heartbroken by looking at his face?

"I'll leave first since I have remaining work to do."

After saying that short sentence to the empress, Yihan walked between the concubines who stepped back to both sides. Somewhere in the middle, Yihan hesitated in his step for a moment, but he didn't stop.

"Take care, Your Majesty."

The emperor walked out of the empress' palace while guessing the voice of someone he was not even curious about among the several voices heard behind his back.

In fact, there was no need for him to come here only to tell that, and the emperor decided not to think about it.

"I did that because I love you…! Your Majesty! Do you really don't know about my feelings?"

That day, the emperor looked down with cold eyes at Yeonbin, who was prostrating and imploring in front of him. Although Yeonbin, who looked pale, was crying, he did not seem to be intimidated or guilty at all. That shamelessness of him nearly made the emperor force laughter.

Over the past few days, the emperor visited Jeongan Palace every night. The emperor came and comforted him because he couldn't turn a blind eye to Yeonbin, who was sick and only looked for him.

However, that also turned out to be a lie. Yeonbin tied the emperor next to him on the excuse that he was sick after secretly taking medicine that made him get sick—because the emperor hardly visited him.

He said he did that because he loved the emperor. Said that all of those were because 'I love you.'

The emperor only made a hollow smile, as he had already heard that excuse countless times. He wondered what the meaning of the guilt he felt when he stayed next to Yeonbin, who smiled happily while saying that he was happy because the emperor stood by his side when he was sick for the past few days.

Even though I don't like him because of how bad-tempered he is, am I being too harsh to the one, who only looked at me and entered this palace because of me? What if this person gets sick like this because I treated him harshly?

Times, when he was uncomfortable with such thoughts, became meaningless in an instant.

"If I don't do this, then would you have come here?"

Nevertheless, Yeonbin was saying in front of the emperor that he was also to blame for not loving him with all his heart.

The emperor with a stiff expression slowly opened his mouth, looking down at Yeonbin.

"Does your love mean to deceive me?"

The emperor knew well that no one in the imperial palace could always live sincerely. Life may be the same for everyone, but among them, the emperor, whose life was threatened by the hands of his trusted brothers, knew better than anyone else that this imperial palace was the place where lies were the thickest.

There was no exception to the empress or any concubine. They loved their husband with all their heart, but living in the imperial palace was sometimes like walking on thin ice. So, who could deny that behind that love lurked the glory of their family, their safety, and such?