8
They stood in mute shock, all gaping at the cul-de-sac they had found themselves dumped in, their things dumped beside them with a gruff promise for their extra stuff to be delivered later that day.
"Where?" Jack spluttered "in the fucking gutter where we are?"
Ianto could not speak, his eyes flying to the huts in front of them, all in a row like a row of bloody garden sheds.
"So where are the fucking fences, the big four bedroom houses… the…. Oh gods. We've been had" someone shouted, more afraid than angry now. "And where is the fucking loo!"
"Johnny Davies, get your fucking arse out here!" Rhiannon roared with anger, shaking as she strode forward.
"You looking for Johnny?" a voice called out, the man full of anger as he strode towards them "if ya want that fat tub of lard look over yon in that camp, he's shacked up with Delilah… my fucking bird, still drink as a fart on his final paycheck! Got booted off the gang for his drinking!"
"Oh shit" Ianto said softly as Rhiannon took off at a run, the kids running for the little pathetic looking playground.
"Wow" Jack agreed "Green pastures indeed. That horse trough might be the swimming pool?"
What can you do?
Ianto laughed softly and shook his head, striding over to one of the sheds he knew was his. House. Gods. Shack.
The Gods are laughing with him.
.
.
Ianto stood in the one room building with bunk beds and felt the giggle start again more hysterical now as he saw the terrible reality of the situation and he turned to find David in the doorway
"Gee Our place is exactly the same. I don't understand, where is our house?"
"Looks like your Da hadn't sorted things as well as he made out. Your mama is thwacking the tar out of him I bet" Ianto replied.
"Good. Gee… I don't like it."
"Me neither kiddo." Ianto sighed "How about you get your things in here with me, mama will need some space to vent, its late and we are tired I will have to sort things when I can."
David lit up, running to pull his things over and soon he was choosing a bed like it was a done deal that he was moving in. Ianto smiled and let him, these kids his after all. By the tine Rhiannon got back the boy had an entire corner of the shack kited out with his things.
"I wondered where he went."
"He doesn't want to be underfoot and thought the girls might like some space. No walls ya know" Ianto said softly like it had been the boy's idea and she softened her face as she agreed that he was right.
"Johnny Fuckface can stay where he is. Look at what he's done to us Taddy" she wailed as she sat on a bed, calling him Taddy instead of Tee showing her dismay. "What are we going to do?"
"I have my pension, we've lived off it before and we will again. I do have some accounts locked down I might open if we have to. Once I find work we will have that too. Clearly his paycheck is spoken for by the saloon" Ianto sighed as he pulled a chair over "we will be OK. We always are, right?"
"We were sold a dream and this… this is a fucking nightmare" finally she started to cry, folding into his arms as she admitted her pain.
.
.
"Lou?"
Ianto came out the door of the shack and looked out, glad to see who he hoped it was.
"Martha!"
They embraced and then she started to laugh "when that fat fuck said his father-in-law was a Ianto Jones I sort of hoped it was you, but I was so dammed scared it was you. Lou, what the hell are you doing in the armpit of the universe?"
"didn't you hear? It's Mecca" Ianto replied, laughing along with her as they hugged. "and it's Ianto here in Civvy land."
"Boss, I can never call you by your name… I mean… I've bled for you"
"And I bled beside you, come on. Come meet my family and… no talk of that blood."
.
.
"So the main Mess Hut is over there, we get fed three meals a day. We can eat in there where it's so bloody hot ya might die from heatstroke, eat outside where the bugs are trying to either eat you or your food or do what we all do, take the covered plate home" Martha was explaining as she and Rhiannon walked the camp.
"It's like a holiday camp or some sort of… refugee camp. I can't believe they sold us on such a lie"
"And they monitor all outgoing messages, delete those negative ones before they can get out then punish those that don't seem happy to kiss their boots" Martha huffed, noticing Alice falling into step.
"This is Alice, her father Jack is…."
"Jack Harkness. Yeah, heard of him. The immortal. He's a legend" Martha nodded.
"And you know Ianto?"
"The Dragon. Yeah. He's a legend too, you know they could have landed anywhere, to find them both shuffled here is… no. Owen?"
"Hi bitch face"
Martha hit him so hard that he flew out of his boots, leaving them in the dirt and he landed a good foot and a half back in the mud, laughing hysterically like it was a welcoming kiss.
"And we know each other too" she shrugged as he took her hand to lift him to his feet again.
Yeah.
Clearly he had asked for it at some time.