Chapter 19

Gendry Baratheon POV

When I wake up, Arya isn't next to me. God, how could I be so stupid? I was drunk, but not so drunk that I couldn't control my own actions. I should've stopped it, but my emotions and feelings for her got the best of me.

I assume she snuck out so she could make it home before Sansa or her parents noticed how late it was, but I still check my phone to see if she texted me.

*I'm home, didn't want to wake you.*

I let out a sigh of relief, even though I'm pretty upset she walked home alone in the middle of the night. I know I couldn't stop her, but thinking about her doing that is terrifying.

I want to immediately call her, but instead I decide to call Podrick. I don't want to say anything wrong or weird on the phone, so maybe I should call him first and talk this through.

"Hello?" Podrick asks when he answers. He must be able to tell something's wrong since I'm calling him so early.

"Hey man," I say. "Do you have a minute?"

"Yeah," he responds. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know," I say, taking a deep breath. "Arya and I hooked up last night."

"What?" He asks. "How did that happen?"

"We went to a concert, and I got a little drunk. We came back to my place, no one was home and it just kind of happened."

"Was she drunk?"

"No," I say. "She had a sip of my drink but she wasn't drunk."

"That's good," he says. "How do you feel about what happened?"

"I'm upset with myself that I let it happen, and I just don't know what to do."

"What do you mean?"

"I want to get back together with her," I say. "I never wanted to break up in the first place, but I know she probably doesn't want to get back together."

"Have you asked her?"

"Not specifically," I say. "But she broke up with me, and she's said multiple times that she wants to just be friends."

"How is that working out for you?" Podrick asks. I pause, that question gives me a lot to think about.

"You're right," I say. "I love her and I want to be with her. I tried to respect her wishes and just be friends, but I don't think I can be friends with her and not date her. I just feel too strongly for her."

"I think you should tell her that," Podrick asks. "Tell her exactly what you told me."

"What if she doesn't want to get back together?"

"Well then you'll know," he says. "And you can move on."

"I just really don't want to lose her in my life," I say. "She really is one of my best friends."

"I don't think this is healthy for your heart," Pod says. "Plus, you'll always have me. Especially now since we're moving in together."

"Thank you," I say. "I have to go, let me just get this over with."

"Okay," he says. "Let me know how it goes."

I hang up and give Arya a call. My heart is pounding, I'm so nervous. I hate that I have to do this, but I know it's right for me. Continuing in this weird limbo with her only hurts both of us.

"Hello?" She asks when she answers.

"Did I wake you?"

"No," she says. "But I'm still laying in bed. What's up?"

"I wish you had woken me up last night so I could call you a ride," I say. "The thought of you walking home alone at night really scares me."

"I was fine," she says. "It was really nice out, and it's not a long walk."

"Still, don't do it again please," there's a long pause, I'm nervous and not sure how to start saying what I want to say. "I actually wanted to talk to you about last night."

"What about it?"

"I'm sorry I overstepped," I say. "It shouldn't have happened."

"You didn't," she responds. "I was the one instigating, and I had fun."

"Well I regret it," I say. "It wasn't a smart thing to do."

"I didn't expect you to regret it," she says after a pause. "I thought you liked me."

I sigh, this is exactly why I didn't want to do this. "I do, Arya," I say. "That's why I feel this way."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't do this with you if we aren't going to be in a relationship," I say. "We clearly still have something between us, and I don't want to just hook up with you."

"You're a guy," she says. "I thought you'd love the idea of just fooling around."

"I love you," I say. I know I've said it before, but I didn't mean for it to come out like that. "I can't just be friends with you, clearly that doesn't work with us."

There's a pause. "So it's either a relationship or nothing?"

"Basically," I say solemnly. "That's pretty much what I'm saying, yes."

"Then I guess that means we're done with this conversation," she says. "You know I don't want anything serious."

"I don't want to lose you, Arya," I say. "I just can't keep doing this with you."

"You've made your wishes clear," she says. "And I'm trying to make mine clear, that's really all this is."

"Okay," I say. "If you ever need anything or you change your mind, you know I'm here."

"Bye, Gendry."

I hang up and immediately start crying. I hate this. I know Arya well, but a part of me really thought that if I gave her this ultimatum that she would say she wants to be with me and we would get back together. That may be optimistic, but I was really hoping that would happen since there's clearly still something between us. Losing her as a friend hurt so much more than losing her as a girlfriend, and I didn't even think that was possible.

Sansa Stark POV

I wake up next to Myrcella in her room, I slept over at her place last night. I ended up going to her place after I helped Arya get ready. It was kind of last minute, but I needed to get out of the house and I wasn't sure when Arya would be back.

"Morning," I say when I see her stirring. "You sleep okay?"

"Yeah, I guess," she says. "Do you want some breakfast?"

"What do you have?"

"Granola bars, eggs, or we could make pancakes."

"Let's make some pancakes," I say. "If you want to."

She nods and we go down to the kitchen, Joffrey is already down there when we walk in. I'm getting used to seeing him when I'm here, but he still acts super dramatic about it.

"Hi Joffrey," I say. "Hope you're doing okay."

He scoffs and then walks out of the kitchen. "Sorry," Myrcella says. "I keep hoping he'll stop being a jerk to you."

We start getting ingredients out of the pantry and fridge. "It's okay," I say. "I'm used to it, it's still better than Ramsay."

We start making pancakes and talking. "Is Podrick doing okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, he's great," she says. "He's really excited to move in with Gendry, they think they might have found a place."

"Oh, that's awesome," I say. "I'm sure that'll be good for them."

We hang out for a little while longer and I eventually go home. When I walk into my room, Arya is reading on her bed. It seems like something's different with her, but I can't tell what it is.

"How's it going?" I ask her, setting my bag down and sitting on my bed. "How was the concert?"

"It was fun," she says. "The band was really good. Gendry and I hooked up after."

She says it so casually, I almost don't even realize what she said at first. "Huh?" I ask. "You did?"

"Yeah," she says. "I left when he was sleeping and walked home."

"Arya," I say. "You could've called me to pick you up, you know I would've."

She shrugs. "It's fine," she says. "It was a nice night."

There's a pause, I want to ask what happened between her and Gendry. "So you and Gendry hooked up?" I ask. She nods. "How was that?"

"It was fine," she says. "He called me this morning and said he regrets it, though."

"Why?"

"He doesn't want to just hook up with me," she says. "And then he said we had to either be in a relationship or just not talk anymore?"

"Really?"

"Yeah," Arya says, still not looking up from her book this entire time. "He said it was too hard for him to not be with me and he couldn't just hook up with me, so I had to choose one or the other."

"So what did you say?" I ask her.

"I said then we shouldn't talk," she says, this time she looks up at me when she notices my silence. "Sansa, you know how I feel about being in relationships, I don't want anything serious tying me to Winterfell. He gave me the choices he felt comfortable with, and I chose one."

"Aren't you going to miss him as your friend?" I ask.

"Yeah of course, but he can't force me to be in a relationship with him if I don't want to be. I'm mainly wondering how I'm going to get cigarettes now." She chuckles at that.

"I don't think you made the right choice," I say after a pause. "Gendry's a great guy, but I'm not judging."

"It doesn't matter," she says. "It was my choice and mine alone to make." I wish she wasn't so stubborn, and I didn't expect Gendry to give her an ultimatum like that.

Sometimes I wish I was more like Arya, she's so much more carefree about everything. Gendry is so in love with her, I can tell based on the stories she's told me. Yet, she doesn't care about being with him or labeling their relationship. I know that couldn't be me, and I envy that about her even though it's causing her problems. I wish I had some of that in me, I care way too much about what people think of me.

I hope Arya sees how much Gendry loves her before it's too late. I know he can make her happy, and I hope they get back together soon. I can see why he doesn't want to just be friends, especially since he isn't interested in just hooking up. Maybe she needs to open up to him more and I need to care less what others think about me, then we'd both be better off.

Daenerys Targaryen POV

Jon and I are going to Target today to shop for some stuff for the apartment. We ordered some furniture last night, but we really don't need much. We're going to bring my bed from my place, so that's a big piece of furniture out of the way.

"Is there any special way you want to decorate?" Jon asks me as we're walking through the aisles.

"Not really," I say. "It's not like we have the budget for a lot of decorations."

"Yeah, you're right," he says. "We should probably go get stuff for the bathroom first."

We go to the bath aisle and go to where the towels and shower curtains are. "What color scheme should we go with?" I ask him.

"Color scheme?" He asks, sounding genuinely confused. "I thought we would just pick the cheapest option and leave."

I take a deep breath, men are something else. "How about dark blue?" I ask, pointing to some towels. "It looks nice and won't stain easily."

"Okay, whatever."

We pick out some dark blue towels and a dark blue and grey shower curtain. I'm glad he isn't too picky, but I also wish he would give me some indicator of his opinion.

"Have you hung out with Cersei lately?" Jon asks me as we move down the aisle to look at shower caddies.

"Honestly, no," I say. "She called while we were at Sam and Gilly's, but I honestly couldn't help her."

"What was she asking for?"

"She wanted advice on Jaime being distant from her," I say. "She wasn't sure why he was gone so much, and wanted my input on how to confront him. Of course I can't give her advice when she isn't honest with me about their relationship."

"But you know about it," Jon says. "And Cersei knows you know."

"She's never explicitly told me," I say. "I know she would just deny it if I confronted her about it."

"I'm sorry baby," he says, reaching behind me and kissing my cheek. "Pretty soon you won't have to deal with them as much."

We finish up shopping and head back to my place. We're sitting on the couch watching some TV, I'm resting my head on Jon's shoulder and his arm is around me. It's really nice to have these calm and sweet moments together.

"Oh," I say after a pause of comfortable silence. "I meant to tell you something about when we were at Sam and Gilly's."

"What happened?"

"I was outisde on the phone with Cersei," I say. "And Ygritte came and sat next to me as I was hanging up."

"Oh God," Jon says, immediately assuming the worst. "What did she do?"

"It's not bad," I say, laughing a little at his reaction. "She said she was sorry for the way she's acted towards me in the past, and she hoped we could at least be friendly in the future."

He pauses, I can tell he didn't expect that. "Oh," he says. "That's good to hear, I'm glad she's matured."

"Me too," I say. "Maybe she realized what was more important to worry about since her best friend had a baby."

"I get that," Jon says. "That whole situation has really put things in perspective for me, too."

"How so?"

"Gilly and Sam are just really strong," Jon says. "Sam really stepped up when most guys wouldn't, and I want to be like that."

I smile at him. "That's really admirable," I say. "Sam really is a great guy."

"I really look up to him and Robb," he says. "They've endured a lot that most guys their age wouldn't have been able to handle."

"I can't imagine," I say. "You guys have been a lot stronger than I could've ever been."

"You're still really strong," he says. "I can't imagine not having parents for so many of my formative years. My parents were barely around, but they were still around."

"Thanks babe," I say. "You've just been through a lot for your age."

"So have you," he says. "But I think it's all worth it now that we have each other."

"Definitely."

We kiss and continue to snuggle and watch TV. We eventually have sex and fall asleep, it feels really comfortable. He's right, everything is worth it now that we have each other. I try not to focus on the past too much and just move forward, it's better that way. I'm just excited to start living my life with Jon and create our own life and family together.