(Juan)

I was anxious. All of Shelby's preliminary exams were within the expected range, with some alterations here and there. There was something different going on in her system, but it was something that prenatal video tests would help to elucidate. Overall, other minor changes, Shelby's health was fine. I was dressed in my scrubs and white coat, personalized with the hospital logo and my name. I was doing my bureaucratic work when my page was beeped , letting me know that my husband and Shelby were at the hospital for the first ultrasound. I finished the report on one of my patients and walked into the exam room to meet them. Hiram was in good spirits, and Shelby was... glowing.

Was it possible to love two people at the same time? Because I've been wondering about that for the last few days. Hiram was my safe haven, he was the one I could count on through thick and thin, he was my partner. Shelby was the cool breeze, the playfulness, the unpredictability. But I knew that Hiram was my future, while Shelby was the lightning bolt that would leave deep marks. At the end of the months of gestation, she would disappear from my life for 18 years, unless Hiram agreed to change his mind about the permissions set out in the signed contract regarding her access to the child. Even in forced absence, Shelby would leave deep marks because, like it or not, that child was half her, with the possibility of looks like her.

After that second wonderful night, I didn't date Shelby in a sexual way anymore. My work and my married life didn't open up many spaces for that kind of adventure. Shelby also had her activities, her social life that was all her own, and she took acting workshops at the theater very seriously because, like it or not, she wasn't about to give up Broadway. Not that I wanted to make her give up on anything, but I had to admit that my desire was to keep her close. Our encounters were social, almost friendly courtesies that included Hiram's presence. But sometimes, when it was possible, I'd call Shelby and we'd talk on the phone for almost an hour, and I'd feel like a teenager experiencing first love all over again.

When I arrived at Lyanna's office, I first gave Hiram a quick, discreet kiss on his lips because I knew the people there wouldn't mind that much. It was 1994, and some advances in the LGB struggle had been made. But it was also a fact that society was still very conservative about it. I could be a gay or bisexual guy as long as I don't show affection to my male partner in public, because supposedly, brains could melt if two men kissed in public square. That's why those little public gestures of endearment I exchanged with Hiram had meaning. Lyanna didn't mind, Shelby might not because of homophobia but because of our forbidden involvement. But that was another situation.

I greeted Shelby with a kiss on her cheek. It was strange being next to her with Hiram beside me, because I had the urge to kiss her on the lips too. I avoided looking at Shelby too much because she looked beautiful and I had seen that woman naked and writhing in pleasure while I was inside her. There was sexual tension between us wherever we met. But at that moment, I had to repress this desire of mine, because we were there under contract. Shelby would have the first ultrasound and Hiram and I had to be notified at every such appointment, as it was our right to be there.

Lyanna did an overview of Shelby's physical condition during those ten weeks of pregnancy and then an overview of what she expected to find.

"I know that ultrasounds can be scheduled from the fifth week, but I always prefer to wait until the tenth week."

"Why?" Shelby asked.

"Because the baby's heart can already be heard." Lyanna smiled. "That's when it's possible to identify details of the development of the fetus. The heart is beating strongly, the sexual organs are beginning to define themselves, the joints are formed... in short, the fetus no longer looks like a mass of cells or a tadpole." Lyanna took a deep breath and sobered. "It is also the time to detect problems that could lead to the need for an abortion."

"Oh..." Hiram frowned a little horrified by Lyanne's speech, but I, as a doctor, understood well that these things needed to be put, even when unwanted because the patient had a right to know the real picture.

"Shelby. How are yours last few weeks been?"

"Good doc, I feel like peeing more than usual." Shelby said a little awkwardly because of our presence.

"You are pregnant. Your uterus is expanding rapidly. It will press on your bladder and you will feel this urge to urinate all the time until the end of the pregnancy."

"Good luck for me." Shelby sighed. "I still have morning sickness, but today I had a great time, and I didn't visit the bathroom for that reason."

"It is also perfectly normal. The tendency is that from now on, these sicknesses will become less frequent until they disappear. Anything else? Are you having bleeds? Have you been having headaches?"

"I mentioned to you that I had some bleeding in the fourth week, but then I didn't have this problem anymore. My headaches still persist a little bit, but they are not severe. It's more like a mild annoyance."

"Are you having sex?"

"Once, around the sixth week." I watched as Hiram frowned at that information. He wasn't one to judge anyone's sex life, but I don't know what he would have thought about the involvement of the woman who was bearing his child. God forbid he suspects that Shelby's sex partner was me.

"Did you experience any discomfort during sexual activity?"

"No, I didn't."

"The comfort and discomfort during sexual intercourse varies from woman to woman. But if there was discomfort, it could be indicative of a problem. But since you reported that everything went well, it's possible that you won't have any problems about this issue."

"But is this healthy?" Hiram asked absolutely puzzled. "To mean. The…" He gestured the act with his hand. "Can't hit the baby?"

"That possibility does not exist." Lyanna smiled at my husband's naiveté. "The baby is well protected and there is no way the penis can touch or hurt it, no matter how big it is. On the other hand, sex can generate contractions, especially if the pregnant woman orgasm. A pregnant woman's belly may harden for a few hours as a result, but not to the point of inducing labor or miscarriage."

"Fascinating!" Hiram's eyes widened.

"Yes, this is all very fascinating, but guys, I'm going to run some tests on Shelby now, and as much as you have a right to be present, I believe it's common sense for me to be alone with her at this time. I'll call you back when we go for the ultrasound."

I had no objection to this privacy, which was necessary. Hiram had no objections either. We went out in the office and he whispered in my ear.

"Do you know if Shelby is dating anyone?" He said in that gossip tone.

"She told me something about theater stuff."

"There must have been some atmosphere with a colleague or a professor on the course she is taking. Go, Shelby."

I didn't want to pursue this matter any further for obvious reasons. I just noticed that in the waiting room there were some couples waiting to be seen. Some women were already in an advanced state of pregnancy, and I always found that they formed an intriguing and charming figure at the same time. Lyanne appeared at reception to invite us back in.

"Shall we check on this child?"

Shelby was already lying on the stretcher, the equipment was ready, and my colleague was just waiting for the two stooges to get into position. Hiram would only see blur on the screen, but I had training in deciphering the images. I wouldn't be able to interpret the details, as Lyanne would, but I could at least know which smudge was my kid.

"Uterus is a little more dilated that I expected..." Lyanne said while manipulating the device.

"Is this a problem?" Hiram was apprehensive. And from Shelby's expression, so was she.

"That depends on what I find." Lyanne smiled at us. "Ah, I even found the reason."

I looked at the screen, and I couldn't believe my eyes.

"What is this, doctor?" Shelby and Hiram said at almost the same time.

"It's twins. There are two babies. That's the reason for the slight changes that were present in the exams: you're eating for three now, Shelby."

"Two?" I was terrified. If one child already made me nervous, how would Hiram and I handle two children?

"Having twins in inseminations is common. Sometimes there can be triplets."

"Two babies in my belly? I don't know if I can take it!" Shelby panicked too.

"It's safe to say that this pregnancy will hardly reach 40 weeks. We were calculating that the baby would be born by the end of January. Now we will have to redo these calculations. In a twin pregnancy, I am satisfied when the woman manages to carry it until the 36th week. It means that these kids can arrive this year, in December. So we are going to rearrange the amount of vitamins, supplements and I will probably ask Shelby to take hormones in the next appointments to accelerate the maturation of the children's lungs."

Lyanne smiled and continued to take measurements. She first took the first fetus, then examined the second. That's when she frowned. It was for a second, but I got it. She made the protocol gesture of turning on the sound to listen to her racing heart, which moved all three of us.

"But is the sound of the heart that fast?" Shelby was worried.

"Yes, that's how it is. Perfectly normal." Lyanne removed Shelby's braces and lowered the disposable clinic gown, offering Shelby paper towels to wipe herself off. "Shelby, you can put your clothes on. I'm going to give you a new recipe for vitamins and supplements. Everything is fine. And guys, I'd like to talk to you later. Can you guys stay a little longer?"

Hiram and I nodded. Shelby got dressed, received instructions and was dismissed from the office. Since we didn't know how long Lyanne would hold us and Shelby had an acting class to take, Hiram gave her the taxi money, apologizing for the ride he wouldn't give her anymore. Lyanne asked us to be patient as she would attend to two more couples who were waiting before speaking to us again. She would text me on my pager when it was time for us to get back.

I took advantage of this time to do bureaucratic work and visit a patient in the postoperative period. Hiram took that day off work, and so he was bored watching television in the residents' room and reading a magazine from five months ago. I was nervous, because I knew there could be a problem with one of the fetuses, and Lyanne would probably let us know in order to make a decision, since everything regarding Shelby's pregnancy was, by contract, our responsibility, including the decision-making. I didn't want to bring this up with my husband because it would make him paranoid.

An hour and a half later, my husband and I were in my colleague's small office. Lyanne showed the printout of the two fetuses and began to explain.

"What was the problem you find out, Lyanne?" I said before I even sat down. "Please be direct."

She glared at us and began cautiously.

"Guys, what I'm going to say here is something delicate that can characterize a breach of contract." Lyanne took the ultrasound images and showed a chart. "Shelby's pregnancy brings an important piece of information, which is the exact date of insemination. Based on that, we have a pretty good idea of when precisely she got pregnant. I know, Juan, that you already know these things, but I need this clear to Hiram." Lyanne looked at my husband like a teacher, and she would be very teaching. "Fetuses have a pattern of growth in the first and second trimester, and this allows us to make measurements that are virtually universal. In the final trimester, the baby basically grows in size, fattens and organs mature. It's a pretty tedious semester from a clinical point of view. But, anything that we find that is different from what is established for that development during the first two quarters can be characterized as anomalies."

"Lyanne, I appreciate this class, but I'm nervous here." Hiram gripped my hand tightly. "Can you get to the point? What's the matter with the baby?"

"Very good. This is an ultrasound of one of the fetuses. All its measurements and characteristics match the ten weeks of gestation. This is proof that this fetus was the result of the insemination. However, its twin sibling has size and development consistent with a fetus that is approximately in the 12th week of gestation. This fetus is five centimeters long, already has its own placenta and has the umbilical cord in formation."

"Does that mean..."

"This is irrefutable proof that Shelby Corcoran breached her contract and had presumably unprotected sex prior to artificial insemination. It means that the youngest fetus is yours, the oldest is not."

"But how is that possible? How could she have gotten pregnant at two different times?" Hiram was stunned and so was I. I wanted to scream and say that nothing was wrong, and that it was my fault, but I wasn't going to do that in front of Lyanna.

"Women can have fertilized eggs on different days. In the case of fraternal twins, it's normal for one to be up to a week older than the other from a gestational point of view. They are rarer, but there are cases of twins that are more than a week apart. There was already a case of a woman who carried twins who were three months apart from each other. This is one reason why the recommendation not to have sex during the hormone application period needs to be fulfilled. With this treatment, several eggs are released and not all at the same time. Shelby took a risk and got pregnant by someone else. What I advise, guys, is that you talk to the lawyer before confronting her."

Hiram and I left Lyanne's office visibly shaken, but for completely different reasons. Hiram wanted to confront Shelby as soon as possible, but I... I was working up the courage to confess I cheat on my husband.

"I'm going to call our lawyer now!" Hiram raged. "What Shelby did to us is low and wrong."

"Hiram, my love, I'm going to go to my chief resident and tell him I can't work today, which will probably get me a warning. But I'll take that, because our conversation is more important right now."

"Yes, preferably with our lawyer."

"Hiram… I'll tell my chief resident that I'm leaving and we'll go home together. Don't do anything until we get home and talk."

Hiram was reluctant, but he agreed. I did exactly what I said I would. I took off the scrub, put my lab coat in my closet and changed into my regular clothes. I took a deep breath. Hiram was going to freak out, and it was all and completely my fault.

...

(Juan)

Hiram was quiet. He was leaning against the wall in our bedroom and I was sitting on our bed. I had just finished confessing that the oldest fetus Shelby was carrying was mine. He was furious inside, because I knew too well to recognize the signs. Hiram clenched his hands so tightly that when his fingernails were longer, they could injure the skin on his palms. It was like he was getting ready to punch the world. And there I knew he was holding back from punching me in the face. Honestly, I would take the first punch and probably the second and third ones before I started to defend myself. But the punch didn't come. Hiram simply fell silent, and I stayed silent because I knew the first syllable I said could send him out of control.

I got up from our bed and went to my side of the wardrobe. I thought at that moment about leaving the house and giving him some space to digest the information. Shelby was carrying twins, one of which was 100% mine, and I didn't even have to wait to be born to be sure. I thought about grabbing a backpack and putting on a change of clothes. I wasn't sure where I was going, but I knew I couldn't stay home.

"Will you stay with her?" Hiram said with his jaw clenched in anger.

"No. I won't do it. I'll be back tomorrow after my shift at the hospital and we'll be able to talk more calmly. I know that now it will be impossible."

I left the house without the slightest idea where I could go. But the first step was to go to a pay phone. From there, I dialed Shelby's number. She didn't answer, which was a relief as she was supposed to be at the Public. It was easier to leave a message.

"Shelby, it's me Juan. What Lyanne wanted to talk to me and Hiram in particular was that she found out in today's exam that fetuses are different ages. One fetus is approximately two weeks older than the other. We know exactly how it happened. I had to come clean to Hiram and he's furious, obviously. That's why I'm warning you not to contact us in these next few days. And if he calls you, well... I don't have a crystal ball, but just don't confront him, please. It's all I ask of you. I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

I looked around and saw myself alone in the world. I realized that I had no friends of my own in Cleveland other than the ones I had made in the hospital, which were my own colleagues. My family lived in Lima, and my youngest sister was in another state. My longtime friends didn't live in Cleveland either. I couldn't go back to my place just yet, and I couldn't go to Shelby's either, because that would be an affront. So I went to the only place I could: the hospital. As I would have to start work early in the morning, it wouldn't make much difference.

I took a bus and went straight to my place of work. I went through reception but didn't register my watch. Not that workload control was really effective with doctors, but it was a reasonable control mechanism that existed to not let people become slaves. I went straight to the break room. There were two break rooms for on-duty staff, each with two bunk beds. I chose the one I used to occupy and found Alicia, who was lying on one of the beds, resting on the shift she was doing.

"Hey Juan." She said sleepily. "Are you supposed to be on duty today?"

"No. But I'm going to sleep here tonight."

"Why?"

"Long story. I had a falling out with Hiram, completely my fault, and he needs to cool off before we talk."

"Does it have anything to do with that girl you and Hiram hired as a surrogate?"

"Yes."

"I knew it." Alicia said seriously and sat on the bed. "There was a bet between us about the two of you, because every time she showed up you…you looked different."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously! And you know what else? Apparently I lost 50 bucks by having faith in you."

"My apologies."

"What happened?"

"I got involved with her… sexually."

"Oh, Juan, this sucks."

"Don't even tell me..." I sat on the bunk bed to face my friend. "I don't know what to do."

"Did you fall in love with this woman?"

"Yes… I don't know… maybe… yes."

"Did that erase your feelings for Hiram?"

"No, it didn't."

"Yeah… you're screwed."

"Don't tell me!" I faced my friend and I was really lost, needing some guidance, whatever it was. "What would you do if you were in my shoes?"

"Do you want to know what I would do between saving my marriage to the guy I chose to father my children along with me, or living in a temporary crush with the biological mother who wants to be a Broadway actress?" Alicia said sarcastically in her best Alicia way.

"Spoken like that seems obvious."

"Maybe because it's obvious. Well, I went to your wedding, Juan. I know Hiram at least reasonably well. From what I know of your husband, he truly loves you, or he never would have embarked on this adventure of parenthood with you."

"What's worse is that I know you're completely right. I know what I need to do, but that doesn't mean it will be easy."

"Well… at least this story confirmed what I always suspected about you."

"What is it?"

"That you aren't 100% gay."

I would even chuckle if the situation wasn't so stressful for me. I lay down on the bed and looked at the bottom of the top bed. I didn't say anything else and let Alicia have her precious nap that helped us survive the shifts. I knew what I would have to do. It was true what Alicia said: everything was too obvious.

...

(Shelby)

When I listened Juan's message on my answering machine as soon as I got home, I was startled by Juan's heavy, serious tone. I could imagine that his emotional state was in shambles, not just because Hiram found out, but mostly because of the way he found out. I think Juan was absolutely cornered, with his marriage threatened. I was panicked because I didn't know what this would mean for my contract. It said that if I committed any infraction, it could be cancelled. But the offense was committed with Juan himself. So I thought of him. I wanted to try to go after him and talk. But I was also very afraid of what might happen.

I started pacing back and forth. It needed to have some kind of rationality. What should I do? Looking for Juan? Looking for a lawyer? I would definitely have to look for a lawyer. Who knew a good lawyer? My friends were all broke just like me, and they probably never needed a lawyer, other than the ones you paid to get out of jail for a few misdemeanors.

I couldn't sleep that night because I was worried about Juan, but I was also worried about myself. In the morning, I was so tense that I had headaches and morning sickness of epic proportions. I wasn't feeling well due to the stress this caused me. I feared for myself, but most of all, I feared for the safety of the two beans growing inside my belly. One of these beans was the fruit of a commercial agreement, but the other bean was simply mine, made out of a moment of passion. It was my kid, and thinking about the implications of that was like a bomb going off over my head. I was dizzy, and this physical sensation was very real.

I didn't want to sound like one of those desperate women, but I ordered a taxi first thing in the morning and went to the hospital where Juan worked. It was a long shot, because I didn't know if I would find him there, despite the probability being high. I was admitted to the emergency room and was referred to the gynecologist on duty.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Mitchell and… oh no." She looked into my face as if she knew me.

"Is there a problem, Dr. Mitchell?"

"No problem Miss… she looked in my chart… Miss Corcoran. What brought you to the emergency room? And please, I'm being unethical right now, just don't tell me a tall Latino doctor is the reason you came here!"

"Does everyone in this hospital know who I am?"

"Not everyone… it's just that dr. Lopez is my closest friend in the hospital and I know a few things. I know you're the surrogate and I've seen you hanging around here."

"This is kind of embarrassing."

"A little bit."

"Well, I came here because of the tall Latino doctor, but I came here because I'm really feeling sick. I'm pregnant with twins, my head is bursting with headaches and I'm feeling really nauseous."

"How long are you pregnant?"

"Ten weeks."

"Any bleeding?"

"No ma'am."

"Did you go through a stressful situation? I assume I know the answer, but I need you to answer anyway."

"Yes, I went through a lot of emotional stress yesterday."

Dr. Mitchell took my blood pressure, my temperature, shone that flashlight in my eyes.

"Does the light bother you?"

"A little."

"Well, Miss Corcoran, your blood pressure is a little off and that could really be correlated with the stress situation. You'll be under observation for the next few hours, meanwhile I'll ask the nurse to administer a saline solution to help with rehydration and a medication that will improve this headache and nausea. After two or three hours, I'll come back here to check you again and hopefully discharge you."

"Thank you... and doc? Any chance the tall Latino doctor would come over here to talk to me?"

"I don't know. I can't promise you anything."

I lay down on the stretcher and about ten minutes later a nurse appeared in my cubicle with a tray with the medications given by the doctor. She did the thing I hated the most: she pricked my vein with a needle. I hated needles. So she adjusted the serum, access and such medication. She explained that the medication would drip for about ten minutes through my vein and that it would make me slightly drowsy. And that afterwards she would put on the serum that would drip for an hour. I stayed there receiving the medication and I think I dozed off, because when I woke up, the serum was half full and a tall Latino doctor had just opened the curtain of my cubicle.

"Alicia… I mean, Dr. Mitchell let me know you were here. How are you?" Juan asked me with a professional tone.

"Better... this medicine in the vein is really good."

"Sorry for causing this discomfort."

"I think this malaise would happen sooner or later."

Juan grabbed a plastic chair and pulled it over to sit next to my gurney.

"I know this is not the time or place, Shelby, but this is our opportunity to talk."

"Is this the time you are going to break up with me?"

"Something like this."

"I should have guessed you would choose him."

"I'm not going to say that our breach of conduct was a total mistake, because it generated something wonderful. Of the twins you carry, one is ten weeks old, which matches the artificial insemination period. But the other one is approximately twelve weeks old, and that matches the period we had that first night of ours. We literally made a baby the traditional way…" Juan sighed. "In my notebook, this is not a mistake. But it was a mistake the way we approached and got involved. The fact is, Shelby, I'm a married man. Despite what I've done, despite the fact that I really like you, that I'm really attracted to you, the truth is that I love him and he's the one I'm going to have a family with."

"Is this your final decision?" As much as I knew deep down that this would happen, my heart broke into a thousand pieces. Because I liked him too and was attracted to him. And because I had this silly fantasy that we would end up together at the end of the story.

"Yes, Shelby Corcoran, this is my final decision."

I didn't want to cry in front of Juan. Not when he was there to tell me he chose someone else. That hurt like hell.

"What will become of us from now on?" I said wanting to dry my face, but those tears insisted on falling.

"I will continue to pay your rent, your health insurance, I will continue to give you the assistance you need, I will accompany you on exam days... and in the end, you will receive what is in the contract and you will be free to go to New York to conquer Broadway. In the meantime, I'm going to be a father to two kids with Hiram here in Cleveland."

"Well, if this is your final decision, I don't think you need to stay here with me, Juan. You can go."

"Shelby..."

"Go away!"

Juan got up and left the stall, taking care to close the curtain so as not to reveal my shattered emotional state to the world. An hour later Dr. Mitchell cleared me to leave, recommending that I take the day off to rest. The thing was, I wasn't just heartbroken. I was angry. Very angry. Honestly, I needed a lawyer.